Sexual Healing
by CaliAngel89
Summary: Piper is a single mom in the middle of a custody fight while struggling with her bisexuality, business and son. Alex is a wealthy, sophisticated, well-educated doctor at NYU with her own sex therapy practice, despite her own deep romantic and sexual issues and an early midlife crisis. Will their blurred lines and romantic connection become what neither of them knew they needed? AU
1. Chapter 1

_Sexual healing, baby, it's good for me  
Sexual healing is something that's good for me_

_You're my medicine, open up and let me in  
Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate  
You're my medicine, open up and let me in  
Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate_

"You gonna be a big boy today, Geo?"

"Yeah, mommy," the blonde haired brown eyed toddler in a car seat said in a sweet tone. For the past six months it had been just us. He had kept his father and me together for nearly two years longer than we should have been. I got my wisdom teeth out, I had just moved in with my boyfriend despite my friends telling me it was a bad idea and my charting app said I was safe but eight weeks later I was staring at two pink lines after missing two periods. When I saw that flickering heartbeat I knew I wanted to bring him into the world. As my belly swelled Larry stayed out for longer lengths of time. I tried to get him interested in feeling the baby kick but he had no interest in touching me as I became visibly pregnant. The only time he showed any interest in my pregnancy was when I told him it was a boy but that quickly waned when I told him he wouldn't carry his name in any form.

Here we were a couple years later, firmly in the terrible twos and after six months Larry was demanding joint custody and I was countersuing for full custody based on him not having a stable job or home. In the meantime, the court had mandated he go with his father from Thursday night to Sunday mornings. I agreed as long as he picked him up from daycare and Polly dropped him off. Geo and I had a good routine going and I was finally feeling good about myself but of course, that's when he had to come back and claim he wanted to be a father after months of being gone. My lawyer said he had a weak case, even without the parental abandonment. Going to therapy had been her idea. She convinced me that if I could show I was putting in the work to be the stable parent than I had a better shot at full custody. I owned a business and had a lease on a one bedroom plus den apartment in Park Slope. The days of it being enough were beginning to wane but he didn't seem to notice. I had done everything to get him into the best early childhood program in Brooklyn when he was six months old and was the only one staying up long nights researching kindergartens.

The squealing in the grey car seat in the back of my silver Prius brought me back to the present moment.

"You excited to see daddy?"

"A little," he said softly with an unconvincing tone. I could tell he was doing his thing again that he had unfortunately learned from me where he told people what they wanted to hear instead of what he really felt.

"Just be good for him. He loves you. And he's not a bad guy," I wasn't so sure the third part was true anymore. I used to be sure he was good. Unfocused and a momma's boy but sweet and kind. Except when we brought out the worst in each other. He just wasn't ready to be a man or a father. Not that I was really ready to be a mother even as I felt the burning sensation of my son's head entering the world and heard the nurses telling me to push, that it was almost over. When he was born the nurse didn't hand him to me until I yelled at her. She looked at me and told me she wasn't aware I was keeping it. They figured I was some well off college girl who went too far at a party and chose to make some childless middle aged couple's dreams come true and allow them to adopt her child before returning to her studies. One of the nurses even told me I was lucky I had a blue eyed baby boy because I could get a lot of money for him as if I was going to sell my child to the highest bidder. Nobody cared that my son wasn't feeding but they all hovered around my roommate and inquired about her baby's feeds who was only a couple years older than me but she was married.

I looked down at my wrists and remembered my infant son pointing at the bruises and saying owie. He barely could say mama, dada and baba but he knew owie. I convinced myself the bruises were my fault for not obeying my man, for pushing him too far, for hitting him first. I knew I was lying to my son. Larry didn't love us. We were something to possess and suing for his parental rights was nothing but an attempt to twist the knife just as he found out I'd moved on from him. But, for now, Larry had rights whether or not he deserved to. All I could hope for was that I had the better lawyer and ended up with a judge who would see right through him using daddy's money and standing in the legal community to take a child he had no real interest in from the only parent he knew. I unlatched him from his car seat and grabbed his tiny Paw Patrol backpack as he hopped out of the car and ran for the playground before I could get his cardigan on him, luckily autumn hadn't quite completely set in and I was the school's resident bad mom so it didn't matter that he was only in his red and white checkered button down shirt and corduroys with his brown oxfords. I walked up to the school's assistant director, Dr. Taya Beckett. She had a Ph.D in early childhood education and a BA in Child Psychology from NYU and a resume that included the most exclusive early childhood programs in Brooklyn.

"So you know the details of the custody arrangement?"

"Yes. Larry is not allowed on the school grounds. One of my teachers will walk him to his car. He is only allowed within two blocks of the school on Fridays. We've been through more contentious custody battles over children barely out of diapers than I want to admit. You want my advice?"

"You're gonna tell me again whether or not I wanna hear it."

"Go out, have a couple drinks and get some."

"I'm done with men. The last thing I want is to have another man shower me with love until he puts a baby in me like Larry. They're all the same. They say one thing but the thought of fucking a mother turns them off, even it's the mother of their own child. Once they start to see you as a mother it's all over. Your worth as a sexual being, as a desirable woman is about bearing children, preferably boys. Nope, it's gonna be just me and my boy for the foreseeable future. Maybe forever. He's all the love I need. At least his love is true."

"Who said you had to get a man?"

"I'm not gay. I like kissing girls and all, I _really_ like it. I like the way women's bodies feel underneath my fingers but that doesn't make me gay."

"Right. Do you listen to yourself talk, like ever? You enjoy kissing and touching girls and are curious about doing more. It may not make you gay but it doesn't make you straight either. And you totally hated it when I touched your thigh three months ago and held you a little too long that time you broke down in my office. When you confessed to a bisexual woman that you thought you might be bi too and you needed a good therapist who could help you navigate your feelings and raising your son. And I told you about my former psych tutor from grad school's thriving new practice."

"She doesn't see patients for therapy, only for assessments but she has a new intern, Lauren, who needed clients. Is it wrong that I like the idea that after reading my assessment she was willing to assign me to her intern? It's some reassurance that I'm not as fucked up as I thought I was."

"You need to try pursuing a chick. You don't need a therapist to tell you the only way to know if you want to do more is to try. What do you have to lose?"

"Larry could find out and try to use it against me in court."

"We aren't living in the dark ages anymore. It's 2016. Go get yourself some pricey therapy insurance doesn't cover and then get yourself some hot lady lovin'."

"What do I even wear?"

"Something that'll be easy to get off but not too easy. Women love confidence and a challenge. You'll do fine. It's Friday night and you finally get a break. Forget you are somebody's mother for a night. Get some, let a stranger take you home."

"I've never. I'm not that kind of girl."

"Maybe you should be. And it's not like you can get pregnant from a one stand night with a woman. Nobody will ever know but you."

"What if she wants me to perform? I've never you know. I don't know how. I've wanted to. I've thought about it but I've never met anyone who made me want to actually do it."

"If you've pleasured yourself then you have all the experience you need."

"Okay, Taya."

Hey, it's Dr. Beckett."

"When you're giving me sex advice it's Taya. I don't care where we are."

"I have to get back to being a school administrator."

"And I have to go back to building a beauty empire. Put this on my son," I handed her the burgundy sweater.

"Good luck, Piper. Just be yourself. The girls are gonna literally eat you up if they know what's good for them. Don't worry. I got things handled. Let me worry about Geo and Larry. Right now, I have a kangaroo lion hybrid to wrangle because his ridiculous single mother couldn't be bothered to dress him properly for school this morning."

"Funny. I know, he's the hyperactive problem child and I'm the bad mom, I know our role in this school. Call me if there are any problems."

"Go to work and let me do what you pay me twenty five hundred dollars a month to do. Quit prolonging the drop off. He's going to be fine. When he's here he's my child."

I turned and headed back to my car to head into my office in Midtown Manhattan near the Garment District.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all your kind comments...I stopped posting but kept writing because the negative comments on my first story were affecting me too much, I needed some time to hone my craft and work on my confidence before I posted again. I came up with this idea awhile ago and I loved it, I mean c'mon Alex as a rich, genius sex doctor was fanfiction begging to be written. I have a mostly completed rough draft of this story, for my readers who are worried I will abandon this fic...still not in love with my ending but I know where it's going and have a few possible chapters beyond the 125 pages I have currently written. In response to my other two main questions, I could be convinced to write more chapters of Nothing You Could Do, I know where I want to go just not how to get there so if anyone has anything they'd like to see suggest it on that fic and maybe I'll be inspired, and I'm currently reworking Stuck on You so expect to see new chapters soon. (I also have the first of a two-part a post season 7 fic done that I'll post when I flesh out part two a little more and an Alex as a bar owner, Piper as young college girl AU that I'm in the planning stages of.) Since you guys have been so lovely this far (and cause I know you all want to meet Alex ASAP) I'm giving you two chapters at once in separate files. Keep the love coming, make suggestions and I'll try to accommodate them if they work with what I've written/planned.**

I walked into the offices of Popi an hour late with a coffee in hand. I had decided at the last minute to drop my car off at my apartment and take the subway into Manhattan so I could go out after my appointment. I was certain Polly would be pissed as I walked into her office. And I was ready for it. She always told me that if she could get her nine-month-old to daycare on time than I could drop off a self-sufficient almost three year old at school and make it into work by nine. Surprisingly, she wasn't even mildly pissed, which for her was saying a lot. I guess she knew today was different.

"You talk to the director?"

"Yeah. This is hard on Geo and seeing him is only going to make it harder. He wasn't excited to see his dad. He's a stranger who abandoned him when he was a baby. He left bruises on his mommy. He screamed at her and called her a bitch too many times. That's the man he knows. Not the sweet guy who made me feel so cared for until I got pregnant and we disagreed over keeping it. I was too far along for simple solutions. If I had found out a couple of weeks earlier maybe I would have made a different choice. But then he hugs me when he catches me crying and I know I made the right choice. I need that boy more than I should."

"You still have that appointment at three?"

"Yup."

"I can't believe you're in therapy. You aren't crazy or depressed."

"I need some perspective."

"Isn't that my job?"

"Nope. Your job is to help me grow this company. I need a professional."

"You kissed a few girls in college. It was Smith, the majority of the student body experimented, not me of course, I know I love everything about boys and never needed to do research. Larry was a dog. It doesn't mean you need to try the other side."

"It has nothing to do with Larry."

"How about your whole hot for teacher issue?"

"Well, I'm not gonna say that's not a factor. I need to stop stifling a part of myself. I can't be the mother my son deserves if I'm not completely sure of who I am. I'm trying to make sure he's well adjusted. That starts with me."

"I hope it helps. I just want you to be happy. But I have to admit the thought of you being involved like that with a woman is pretty weird."

"The thought of me being involved sexually with a woman is weird and scary to me. So I have you beat there."

"But you've wanted to for as long as I've known you. You've always been bicurious but you've always been afraid to have people see you as some stereotypical athletic tomboy. Don't sacrifice your happiness due to your insatiable need to prove people wrong."

"I just wish it were easy. I can't seem to get a crush on a woman I can be involved with in the real world. First Taya and now this doctor who owns the practice. I don't even know what she looks like but the way she makes me smile when we are emailing is like nothing I've ever felt before. Maybe I'm just that lonely."

"There's other fish in the sea than the two women you have crushes on. How do you live in Park Slope and not notice any lesbians except the two you can't have?"

"Because I really like them. I don't just want sex, Pol, I want something deeper."

"Don't get stuck on something that will never be. Move on with your life and find a woman you can have right now."

"I'll think about it."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So maybe I forgot to mention that we don't just meet Alex in this chapter...guess who her business partner is :). I fast forward over a lot in the next couple of chapters but I want to get to the good stuff quickly while also setting up the story and secondary characters. This night will unfold in multiple chapters because it's important and I like writing Vauseman banter, sweet romance, and smut way too much. And I repurpose some of our favorite the canonical classics, find them, comment on them and you just might be rewarded handsomely. Post your suggestions and questions and I'll try to respond.**

I felt overwhelmed when I arrived at the small office in an old brick building in Greenwich Village. As much as I acted like I was cool with the idea of going to Artemis Psychotherapy Associates I wasn't sure about all this. I wasn't sure I could discuss my sexual desires and dysfunctions in the context of a professional relationship but Taya had told me she trusted Alex more than any other queer psychiatrist in the New York City area. I wasn't sure Dr. Alex Vause actually existed. I could never get her on the phone. All I got were emails at odd hours but I was a female business owner too so I understood that life. I wanted to meet this woman and see if this practice was, in fact, the right fit for my needs.

I liked Lauren and Dr. Vause's business partner, Nicky Nichols, they both had a calming nature you'd expect from a therapist and listened with interest and no judgment. Sure, Nicky seemed a bit brash and free-spirited but she was intelligent and intuitive. However, I was still curious about Dr. Alex Vause. There was something about her. She put me at ease and made me feel comfortable. She got me to open up without trying. Being in a space she had so painstakingly created, one that could have easily been extremely intimidating only piqued my curiosity about this intelligent mystery woman more.

Alex was well educated. She had a BA in psychology with highest honors from Harvard, an MD/Ph.D. from UCSF with a certificate from a different San Francisco college in sex therapy and an MBA in nonprofit management from NYU. She was a member of the top professional organizations in her field. This woman was so accomplished that it was intimidating. From what Nicky had said Alex was strict and pragmatic. She always tried to avoid emotional entanglements at every available opportunity. She took her business very seriously. Nicky told me I was lucky Alex had been too busy to give me her unique personal treatment like she normally gave new clients, as she had called it with a sarcastic tone. Bedside manner wasn't her thing. Touchy-feely psychotherapy was her idea of torture. She spent as little time with actual patients as possible. She listened for fifteen minutes, handed you some scribbles and was out of the room before you could blink. As a psychiatrist, her goal was to get down to the diagnosis and treat the problem, which usually meant recommending a combination of medication and talking to one of her therapists. Sitting across from you in a living room like office was the reason she had Nicky and her junior psychotherapists. Alex was a clinician and that's all she cared to be.

However, something about that didn't sound like the encouraging, open-hearted woman I had been exchanging late-night emails with after my son was in bed for the past few weeks. Her emails had become a welcome part of my evening routine. We'd stay up for a couple of hours per night emailing back and forth, I knew I closely edited every word and I could sense she did too. The closer I got to my appointment the more our messages took on a tone that wasn't entirely professional.

When my session with Lauren was done the receptionist, Keely, told me Dr. Vause had just left for the day but she liked to walk to a bistro two blocks away and have a couple glasses of wine and a leisurely dinner alone at the end of a long week. They had her favorite, coq au vin, on Fridays. If I wanted to find her than I could probably find her there. Was my curiosity surrounding this enigmatic woman really that obvious? At first, I thought I was imagining it but as I let my feet take over I started to wonder if the reason she had diverted from her normal new patient protocol was to avoid any suggestion of a professional breach of conduct. Could Dr. Alex Vause be into me and our conversations too?

As I scanned the mostly empty room, I noticed a few scattered diners enjoying the happy hour specials and a strikingly beautiful, tall, slightly muscular dark-haired woman wearing black secretary glasses in the corner sipping on a glass of red wine with a stack of folders in front of her reading through collated papers of some sort. I stood in the doorway longer than I should have because I was so captivated by the way she wrapped her long fingers around the glass and I was starting to list in my head all the things I wanted those fingers to do. She seemed to have an expert touch, to know just how much pressure to put on whatever was underneath her hand. I watched her rub the crease between her eyes as she concentrated hard on whatever she was reading. The lines on her face betrayed her efforts to look eternally young but there was something so beautiful about every wrinkle. Then I saw her full red lips and I was done for. I knew the woman in the corner had to be her. I was certain she was the all business, emotionally withdrawn, cold woman who needed no one but herself to survive known as Dr. Alex Vause. I accepted that this woman would be my undoing, that was if I could get up the nerve to approach someone like her. I slid up to the bar and ordered a margarita but before I could take a sip I heard a low, husky female voice.

"It's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think?"

I whipped my head around and any response I was about to make was stopped in its tracks as I saw her emerald green eyes hidden behind thick secretary glasses and her beautiful lips curled into a proud smirk that I wanted nothing more than to kiss off her smug face. I saw her motion to the bartender to add my drink to her tab. She didn't even ask to buy me a drink, I mean I would have let her but it was the principle of the thing. Who did she think she was?

"Excuse me?"

"Did I stutter? Let me guess you are an NYU first-year grad student with daddy's credit card because you're still a college student, after all? Daddy's gonna be mad when he sees what dinner and drinks costs in this place. And he's really gonna be pissed when he finds out what happens when a pretty young thing such as yourself walks right into my tangled web."

"I make my own money I'll have you know. I'm a twenty-eight year-old independent woman. I have a growing business I built on my own with my best friend and an apartment in Park Slope in a beautiful old brownstone."

"Oh, so you're part of the bridge and tunnel crowd. What is Manhattan too grungy for you? Not preppy enough?"

"Who are you," I asked as if I didn't already have a good idea of exactly who this woman who was teasing me was and I wasn't certain that she could tease me all night long if she wanted to. Of course, I hoped she'd want to do more than that.

"My name's Alex."

"Shit. I'm Piper."

"You say that like I didn't know that the second I walked over here. I read people in under fifteen minutes for a living and I'm damn good at it."

"I think I'd better go. I have a bunch of contracts to read over before Monday morning."

"It's barely Friday night. Come have dinner with me."

If her tone didn't make the punctuation mark on her sentence quite clear then the way she bent over with a smirk on her face to reach for a cocktail napkin, bending down lower and further than necessary to show me a full view of her cleavage underneath her white blouse with two buttons undone sure did. I knew if I followed her it would be my fingers would be undoing the rest later. Getting the shirt off would be easy but I wasn't sure I could take a bra off from the other direction. Reminding myself that those ample breasts were currently held in by a bra made me feel a wetness pool between my legs. What color was it? Was there lace? No of course not, she didn't seem like the lace type. It was probably simple, nude and purely designed for utility.

Alex Vause seemed like the sort of powerful woman for whom everything had a place and a purpose if it was going to exist in her orbit. Things had a job, things did their job, things went back to their tidy place until they were needed. I could appreciate that way of moving through the world, even if it wasn't in my Bohemian nature. I struggled to distract my mind from its jumble of thoughts as I flicked her imaginary bra off and started wondering about what color her nipples were and just how large her breasts were when unconstrained by tight garments.

Still, I didn't want to make things easy for her. Everything about this was wrong but I knew the feeling was mutual as I saw her eyes looking at the hem of my dark purple dress and nude stockings intently. I watched as she took in the Louboutin brownish pink heels, I couldn't afford them but had bought anyway, that I had changed into when I dropped my car off at the apartment just in case I managed to cross paths with the mysterious Dr. Vause. Since she wasn't a stranger, at least I would still maintain some of my virtuous principles when I inevitably let her take me home tonight. But when her hand reached to rub my wrist I doubted we'd make it that long. The warm feeling of a tender massage to the one part of my body she knew had been so brutalized made every part of me open to her touch. I needed her more than I needed air at that moment.

"I'm flattered but I know there's no scenario in which following you ends with a meal. I'm not interested in you like that," I managed to squeak out with fake confidence but Alex's commanding demeanor signaled that nobody was fooled.

"Are you so sure of that? I saw you staring when I had my fingers wrapped around my glass, what were you imagining them wrapped around, Piper?"

I turned red from embarrassment and looked down, "I'm, I didn't mean. I'm sorry. And even if I were I couldn't. You're my doctor and I'm not sure I'm ready to be involved with a woman in that way. I'm curious and okay maybe I have a crush but that's all this is."

"What's wrong? Your mother ingrained in your head that it's rude to stare? That a lady never imagines a part of another person she hasn't officially met inside her sexually? A lady never asks for sex, she reluctantly agrees for the good of the species and its continued survival? Pregnancy is something that happens to her when she doesn't want it and when she wants it she can't achieve it? And she definitely doesn't try to bore a hole in her shirt when she's standing in front of her with her cleavage showing. If you have any questions I might be able to answer about women, whether general or very specific, just ask. I'm kinda the expert on women, lesbian sex and what's going on underneath this shirt. There's not a damn thing wrong with you, Pipes. While a therapist better versed in navigating the coming out process wouldn't hurt, I don't think you even need that. Everything you need is inside you already. Why do you think I assigned you to the least experienced therapist of my three choices? I wouldn't make a dime off you. As a physician, you aren't worth my time. But looking at you now you are more than worthy of anything you want from me. You just need a strong, beautiful woman to show you the ropes. You have a healthy sex drive, you just need to relax and allow yourself to tap into it."

"You have anyone in mind?"

"The question is do you," she asked as she stripped off her jacket and I saw the tattoos on her arm and her toned biceps and shoulders and when she noticed I was staring she asked with her lips against my ear, "You like the roses? I have another rose tattoo somewhere on my body."

"Where?"

"Come have dinner, we'll talk and maybe you can convince me to show you."

"I don't know what I'm doing."

Alex rolled her eyes, "God, kid, tell me you've touched yourself and you know where your clit is."

"Of course. I know what feels good. But that doesn't mean I have any clue what to do with another woman."

"Yeah, you do. You're doing what you always do just with an extra set of boobs. A date is a date. Sex is sex. Do what you like or think you might like. I'll coach you through it. I've been an independent adult in every sense of the word since I was fourteen."

"Is this something you do? Seduce your prospective clients?"

"I'm not going to lie and say this is atypical behavior but it is the first time I've done it with the sort of irrefutable evidence of unethical behavior that you likely have on that iPhone of yours. Are you planning on being the one to report me?"

"Well, if for some reason I do then you can tell the New York Medical Board I was the first one to do this," I reached my hand out and touched her cheek as I pulled her in for a deep open mouth kiss as I worked my tongue into her mouth. Well, perhaps work was the wrong verb for what my tongue did to her welcoming mouth as our tongues curled around each other and her hand pressed against my ear. It was probably seconds but it felt like hours until Alex pulled away from my lips and I whimpered softly at the loss of contact. I saw her laugh for the first time and smile at me reassuringly.

"You are really fucking lucky the only thing in the world that I like more than sex is the coq au vin at this place and I can only get that once a week. You, on the other hand, are a different story."

"Really, Alex? I am lucky that your tongue isn't inside another wet crevice right now? Cause I don't call that luck," I whispered in her ear as I took her hand and let her lead me to the back corner of the restaurant.

"I could draw a lot of conclusions from that, babe. Just know you aren't the only one. Maybe I should have done your intake myself so I could have figured out how you learned how to kiss a girl like that."

"As if I would have told you that in a therapeutic capacity. Hell, as if I even know where that came from. I'm not a very sexual person."

"Could have fooled me, Pipes. I'm going back to my table and my bottle of wine that I plan on drinking with or without you. You get one chance with me. You take it or that kiss will be the extent of our relationship, I like talking to you and that mouth has some serious untapped potential but girls are easily replaced. Girls who want to sleep with me are a dime a dozen, if that. I need a fearless girl who knows what she wants and does whatever necessary to chase her heart's desire."

"I used to be fearless."

"Then adolescence happened and you discovered you had strange feelings for girls?"

"Yeah and for once when I did do something daring I ended up pregnant and alone at twenty-four."

"There are a lot of things I can do to you but getting you pregnant isn't one. Do you know how many girls would kill to have dinner with me? But Alex Vause doesn't do dinner dates. I like to dine alone. But I really like talking to you so I'm willing to try if you are. Take a minute to decide, beautiful."

I blushed like a schoolgirl until I noticed how she swayed her ass as she walked away. How her every move was designed to tempt me to rip her clothes off. Any resistance or remaining doubt melted away as I took in her perfect derriere that was just as ample as her bosom. She had given me rare access to that perfect body and not just what was underneath her clothes but also to somewhere I could sense nobody had ever gained entrance and I wasn't about to squander the opportunity. So what did I do? I followed close behind and slid into the seat across from her with every ounce of cool confidence I could muster.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: We are getting closer to the smut marathon soon to come but first the two need to have a little romance and get to know each other. This chapter also answers another question that formed the kernel of this story, what if Alex was smart enough to realize on her own that her dad was bad news and never met him? Oh, and there's a twist in this chapter related to a more canonical version of Alex because some things she can't get very far from. And in response to my lovely guest reviewer, this story is most definitely real and she will seduce Alex in private very soon but remember this Piper is still learning how to own her sexuality and sense of self so sex in a bathroom could happen but she's not there yet. Oh and there's a hint of things to come with the verb tense used to talk about a certain person who will be very important to this story (Guess who's alive and well, my lovely readers.).**

Fifteen minutes later we were munching on coq au vin and had just finished the bottle of wine Alex had started. Without asking the waiter just brought her another like he did this regularly. She was a genius academic and medical doctor. She told me about being the daughter of a single mom and a rock star she'd never met and never really wanted to. When she was a teenager, she had considered finding him but her life was taking her on a path she didn't want to risk deviating from. She had a sense he'd bring nothing but trouble into her life. This conclusion had been confirmed with a Google search about five years ago. He was a washed-up heroin addict in Atlantic City trying to bring back the glory days of pre-AIDS epidemic drug-fueled seventies rock and roll. She'd seen a few videos online of him performing and she wasn't proud to be his daughter.

On the other hand, her mother, whose name was the Roman version of the Greek goddess her practice was named for, was a saint in her eyes. Diane had been a few months from twenty-two when she was born and Alex was an old soul so they had always been more friends than mother and child unless she was in trouble or being an idiot then she made it quite clear who was who in their relationship.

"So why human sexuality? Why psychiatry? You seem like you had your pick of medical specialties."

"I enjoy sex and find the complexity of the human mind so fascinating. The mind is so powerful. I don't like listening to people's problems and I'm not an emotional person but I know it's where we need to start as women if we are going to get to the root of female sexual dysfunction. Men's problems tend to reside in the physical, women's problems are so much deeper. And I get paid handsomely for it. You don't want to know how much money I get to write the word Paxil and prescribe the latest miracle anxiety drug."

"Tell me you aren't one of those doctors who gets kickbacks from the drug companies."

"I am. I'm a graduate of a top med school with two Ivy League degrees. I'm on the faculty of an Ivy League med school, the drug companies foam at the mouth to get me to prescribe their meds. And once I get tenure, I'll become even more attractive. I already got even more interest when I started a practice that doesn't take any insurance and I don't have a sliding scale, Nicky and my other therapists do though. I charge what I charge and either you can afford me or you can't and you find somebody with a less desirable CV."

"How is that different from being part of an International drug cartel?"

"Did I say it was? I get paid to legally deal drugs. And I have a two-story three-bedroom apartment and an amazing 360 view of the city on the edge of Gramercy Park, a membership at an exclusive Midtown gym and an Escalade to show for it. I get to travel the world. You know what I come from. Do you blame me for deciding to find a way to make the system to work for me instead of against me?"

"No, I guess not. So that's how you can afford to spend without caring about the price?"

"Yup. And when I find a girl worthy of the little free time my busy life affords me than I shower her with all the finest things. Not that I've ever found one before tonight."

"Hopefully you shower your girl with more than just things, Alex," I said in the strongest tone I possibly could yet I still thought it came out as a question.

"Not even done with dinner and already offering to be my girl, this is gonna be easier than I thought. Not that I'd mind if you were. I can already sense that there's something different about you, Pipes. You are about to get a version of the Alex Vause treatment all the girls dream about but never are quite special enough to get. That is if you want it."

"Let's finish this wine and get out of here. And maybe I'll forget that you didn't give me a straight answer to my question."

"That was a question? It sounded like a strong statement to me. I like that in a woman."

"I've never seen anything more beautiful than you. I can't believe you are real."

"I could say the same thing about you. Would you like to come over to my apartment tonight? We don't have to do anything you aren't ready for. And you can tell me to stop at any time and I will."

"Are you sure?"

"Are you?"

"Yes," I answered as I sucked my lower lip into my teeth and bit down a little too hard from my nervousness at the implication of what I was agreeing to.

I don't know how we made it out onto the street but we somehow managed to hit the early October New York City evening air, the happy hour crowd was beginning to pile into trendy restaurants to finish their evening and avoid the crisp air a little longer. I felt her gently interlock her fingers with mine as we walked nearly a mile and a half to her apartment with all my senses buzzing from sharing a quiet moment with the woman with whom I was already falling hopelessly in love. We walked as if the journey home was more enjoyable and important than what we were going to do when we got back to her apartment. I was certain that to an outside observer we looked more like a good looking, financially secure New York City lesbian couple who had been together for years heading back to their apartment after their weekly Friday dinner out instead of one who had just had their first official meeting and date all in the span of a couple of hours.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Here's the start of the 7000 word plus smut fest...the divisions of the next few chapters may be a bit awkward at times because it was written as an extremely long chapter but I'm not a fan of long fanfic chapters...Final warning: there will be graphic discussions of sex, female anatomy and sexuality, S&M/issues of consent and porn over the next four chapters**

All illusion of sweet romance was lost the moment we stepped into the lobby of her apartment building and she gave me one last look to confirm that this was, in fact, something I wanted to do. I smiled back as she hit the button on the elevator. Before I could think I felt my head hit against the wall of the elevator and her hand press against my underwear and cup my sex.

"Baby," I gasped loudly.

"Too much?"

"You just took me by surprise. You don't know how ready I am."

"My hand is on your underwear, I most certainly do," she countered as she started rubbing hard between my legs.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Take them off. I want you to touch me. I want you to be the first woman to touch me there. I don't want to wait another moment."

"Gladly," she said with a seductive tone as her hand moved upwards and found the band of my panties and pulled them down and put them in her purse, "You might get these back or you might not. Haven't decided yet."

My lips found hers as her fingers found my swollen clit and I let out a scream from the contact.

"I haven't even begun to get started, babe."

"That feels so good."

"I am so gonna fucking wreck your perfect nubile pussy."

"I seriously doubt that you can do anything worse than what's already been done to it. If pushing out a nearly seven-pound infant didn't ruin it forever then I seriously doubt anything you are capable of doing to that area can."

"You have no clue what I'm capable of. And it's called a vulva, babe."

"Your fingers on my clit feel so good. Nobody's ever shown it much attention. It likes being touched and guys will do it long enough to convince me to open my legs but once they get inside me they lose interest."

"So I'm hearing you have a fantasy of having your clit touched while you're being penetrated. Is that what you are trying to tell me, Pipes?"

"Yes. I have a few fantasies involving my clit."

"Lucky for you, I enjoy listening to women's sexual fantasies. It's one of the few therapeutic aspects of my job I enjoy. Just use the right terms. I promise you I have heard and done it all."

"Well then it sounds like I chose better when it came to exploring the other side of my sexuality."

"How old were you when you lost your virginity to a guy?"

"Sixteen, after the homecoming dance."

"How cliché."

"In all the right and wrong ways. But tonight is already way better. I'm so wet for you."

Alex just smirked and flicked the clasp on my bra without looking like she'd done that move a million times and knowing her she probably had. I told myself it was all practice for what she was about to do to me as she massaged my breast and my clit at the same time.

"Bed. Now."

"So demanding."

"Alex Pearl Vause!"

"Where did you learn my middle name?"

"Uh, you hung your degrees where everyone can see them. I didn't stop reading at the word Harvard like everybody else. Now fucking fuck me already you fucking fuck!"

Get mad, it only makes me want to fuck you harder and your wildness needs to be tamed."

"Then I'm about to be really fucking pissed off."

"We can't have that, now, princess. Your wish is my command. Just remember I'm a queen."

"You aren't a queen, you are the Queen of the Goddesses."

"And you are about to be handsomely rewarded for that astute observation."

"I love what you consider dirty talk."

"Maybe later I'll teach you the term sapiosexual. Cause it fits you."

"Show me everything that perfect tongue of yours can do."

"Everything?"

"Did I stutter?"

Alex shook her head and grabbed me a little too hard but I know she was caught up in the moment of passion so I let it slide. Once we got down the hall she instantly pushed me back onto her king-size four-poster bed and made me watch as she stripped off her pants, knee highs, and underwear. As hot as she looked in nothing but stockings and underwear, I didn't yet have the confidence to ask her to leave them on. As she slowly kissed and licked every square inch of my body, teasing my breasts and mound where my need was greatest. What was she waiting for? Permission? Was this what all the girls I had almost had sex with been waiting for? The guys I had been with had never really cared much about what I wanted or when as long as I wanted it at the beginning. I got used to letting them do what they wanted because I was too afraid to lose them if I turned them down. I learned quick that if I didn't do it they'd find a hotter, better endowed more feminine version of me who would. But Alex? Waiting for permission seemed so opposite of everything Alex Vause was about but she had also told me I wasn't like other girls. She spent most of our walk to her house telling me how beautiful and special I was. I decided that on the off chance she was waiting for explicit permission I would give it. I knew that anything less than actual sex with the woman grinding on top of me wouldn't cut it.

"Alex, I need you. I'm ready. Please make love to me. I've never wanted anything more than I want you right now. And I've never been more sure."

I felt her stop kissing my stomach and move her body flush against mine so our pubic bones were touching. She didn't grind into me as she had been for the last hour when we found ourselves in a similar position but rested on top of me and brushed her fingers through my hair. She stared deeply into my eyes with so much love and unbridled passion, "You let me know if something doesn't feel good or you want more of something, okay, beautiful? What do you like?"

I just looked at her and smiled, I was about to shake my head to say I don't know when she kissed my forehead, "Nobody's ever asked you that before have they? I'll do what most girls like and you tell me what you want more of. It's been a while since I've been with someone so new to sleeping with women."

"I'm-"

"I know you aren't about to apologize. You don't need to. Believe me, knowing how I am, babe, I'm sure you will have plenty of good excuses to use those words but this isn't one."

"So," I wanted to define what this was and why but she interrupted me again.

"Now is also not the time for talking unless it's to say more or no. Got it, babe?"

I shook my head yes.

"Well aren't you a good listener? Ridiculous, scrawny little thing but you're sexy, smart and funny so I can work with the rest. Now just lie back and relax. I won't hurt you and don't hold back if I do."

Over the next two hours, she slowly made love to me. I came once then again moments later and just when I thought she was done she teased one more out of me. I had no idea what she was doing, only that it felt good. As she moved back up my body and I saw a look of both heat and playfulness in her eyes and I knew if I could make her feel half as good as she had I wanted to. And when I tasted myself on her lips even after she wiped her mouth on her arm I wanted to. I was curious about how she tasted. Would she taste like me? Would she taste as sweet as her kisses did?

"Horrible wasn't it," she teased.

Two could play at that game, so I responded, "The worst," as I pulled her in for a kiss, "Can I do you?"

"You don't have to ask."

"Will you coach me through it?"

She chuckled again and gave me that look that meant I was being ridiculous, "Yeah. You don't have to reciprocate, though, babe."

"I want to. I want to taste what you taste like."

"Fuck, that's the hottest thing I've ever heard."

"I somehow doubt that."

"Maybe it has something to do with the beautiful, sexy lips those words came from."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Vause."

"Considering you are naked in my bed asking to eat me out it did something."

"You being so sexy and sweet is what got us here. Now are you going to tell me how to flip positions or are you going to get on your back and open your legs on your own?"

"Get a little practice with the basics first, babe. I'll teach you anything you want to do, just one step at a time. We have as long as you want."

After a few outbursts of awkward laughter as I tried to do what she told me to, I finally hit the spot and she was breathing heavy and screaming in ecstasy. I reached for her breast and massaged it as she had mine in the throes of her orgasm. I could feel her whole body stiffen as she came hard all over my mouth. I wanted to lap up every drop as her walls spasmed around my tongue but I didn't want to overwhelm her. It was easy enough to know when a guy was done but how would I know when her orgasm was complete? Before I could break contact with her center to check in with her, she tangled her hands in my hair.

"Fuck, babe! You are so unbelievable! You make me feel so good. So good. Babe, baa-bee. Fuck. Fuck."

She came again screaming in an incomprehensible language as I put pressure on her clit with my tongue and sucked it into my mouth and flicked it without being told to. I don't even know how I knew to do that; I just knew that was what she needed at that moment. I stayed there until she let go of my hair and then I went to wipe my mouth but she pulled me into her lips before I could.

"Nobody's ever made me do that. And I've been with more women than I'll ever let you know. Laying here in your arms I'm not proud of myself, of the things I've done that you'll inevitably discover. I've never met anybody like you."

"And I've never met anybody like you, Alex," I rested my head on her shoulder and was met by a quick kiss to the top of my head but nothing more. She reached for the novel on her nightstand, some thick book with a girl who looked like something out of the South at the turn of the century. I just laid there and watched this goddess of a woman next to me in complete disbelief. How had I gotten a woman as hot, intelligent and established at a fairly young age as Dr. Alex Vause?


	6. Chapter 6

As I watched those skilled fingers flipping pages, I began to worry that I was overstaying my welcome. I knew if I got much more comfortable there would be no leaving her bed tonight and I didn't know what the rules or expectations of this night were. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what any of her rules or expectations for me were. We were clearly falling in love with each other and had amazing sexual chemistry. I loved the way her eyes glimmered when she laughed and how her face brightened when she smiled. I could listen to her voice every day for the rest of my life and still not hear it enough. But I wasn't anything to her and she wasn't anything but me. We had dinner, we had sex for dessert. What happened now?

I'd never had an encounter like that but I had a general idea about how it typically went. There had never been an expectation that this was anything more than dinner that had turned into sex and maybe had potential, eventually. She hadn't given me any indication that tonight would be the night where it became more than a casual fling.

"I could go if you want some time to yourself."

She peered up from her book, raised her eyebrow and shot me a commanding icy yet somehow fiery glare that made me cower. I was certain I had pissed her off. I had failed to draw the proper inferences from her social cues and now anything we could have been would be over. I had ruined her buzz and that seemed like a mortal sin in Dr. Alex Vause's world. Of course, I still had yet to learn that I was the only exception to her every rule no matter how seemingly inexcusable. But as she set her book down I was about to take the first step toward learning this crucial lesson, "Just because I pay attention to something that isn't your hot body doesn't mean I'm not still enjoying your presence. I like how we fit together."

"I do too. So you want me here?"

"Fuck yeah. I didn't take you home to fuck you. Well, I did but that barely cracks my top five list of reasons why you're here. I took you home because I like you and I want us to get to know each other. I like having you around. I just need a minute to not think about everything swirling around my brain right now," Alex replied as she pushed her glasses onto her forehead, an action I would soon have a deep understanding of its meaning but not that night.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't handle her thoughts right now. I don't regret what we did one bit and I want to fall asleep in your arms but I'm not anywhere near tired yet. I don't want more sex tonight but I want to stay up talking for hours. Is that weird?"

"Totally. You should really see a shrink about that. You're so psychosexually unhealthy, Ms. Chapman. Especially with your added issue of erotic transference."

"Funny, Dr. Vause. I thought you were never my doctor so no transference. And besides you pursued me and I liked it. I'm going to get some water and maybe a snack."

"Help yourself. I have wine, rum, and bourbon. And go for carbs."

"Did I neglect to mention I've been a cross country runner since I was eleven? I could have been an Olympian, I was nationally ranked and everything, but I chose unfulfilling sex over my passion for the sport. I know what to do after some serious cardio."

"With those thighs and that core you didn't have to. Are you sure you've ever been pregnant? Cause I've seen what abs look like even years after baby and they don't look like that. At least not without a very skilled plastic surgeon, chef, and trainer."

"You want to see a picture of me with a baby bump? I'm sure I have one somewhere. This is all-natural. Believe me, if I had gotten work done than I wouldn't have such tiny tits."

"I don't want to see the evidence that you've ever loved anyone enough to carry their child."

"I wouldn't say I carried and chose to raise my son because I loved someone else enough. Other than the baby in my belly that is. I wanted my baby from the first time I saw him. I loved Larry but not to that degree. I had the baby and expected that depth of love to come but it never did. And it never will. I want to feel that, to know how it feels to deliver a planned for child created from the deepest sort of love but I don't know if I ever will," I told her with a strong twinge of sadness in my voice and a tear in my eye.

"Go on now. I have a few robes in my closet just don't you dare touch the black silk one."

"What if I do?"

"You don't wanna find out what happens if you touch that or my leather jacket. Only I touch those."

"What if I want to take them off you?"

"You ask nicely and I will strip for you. Maybe. If you give me a good reason."

"How about that thing I did to your nipple with my tongue? Can't do that if I can't get to your breast."

"You do make an excellent point, Pipes. I'm just gonna finish this chapter and then I'll come find you and if I don't, well let's just say I know where you live. So don't even think about leaving. You are mine now and you don't get to go anywhere without my permission."

"Is it possible for something to be both the creepiest and the sexiest thing I've ever heard all at once?"

"It's all a matter of interpretation. And you are one fucked up human being in a way that's beyond even the best psychiatric treatment available to me, fucking gorgeous and a little sex fiend but still fucking fucked up."

"Well I'm in a strange lesbian's Manhattan apartment and my phone is probably dead and I doubt there are any cabs in this part of the City at this hour so it's pretty creepy," I responded as I disappeared out of the room and fumbled for the light switches in the now dark, unfamiliar apartment.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My plan was to have three chapters for you today but life happened and chapter eight still needs tweaking because it's long and very important to both the plot and the Vauseman smut we all love so much...so chapter eight will be published by itself tomorrow (and hopefully chapter 9 of Stuck on You will be up if I can find the time to get it from my head to the page...just finished its rough outline today) but it'll be worth the suspense, I promise (three words, one hint: dom Piper's emergence).**

I went straight to the open kitchen; everything was crisp white and silver and meant for utility with grey hardwood floors throughout the apartment. She had a very understated modern yet classic style. She clearly liked clean lines but at the same time there was a homey lived in quality to the spaces in which bits of clutter seeped in. I raided her fridge and liquor cabinet and found some pineapple juice, coconut water, organic mint and rum that would make an amazing sweet yet refreshing drink. I found a rectangular Pyrex container with what looked like homemade chicken piccata with penne. She must have a chef. How could a woman who put in long hours as a doctor make food that appeared to rival anything to be found in even the best Manhattan Italian restaurants? She did say I could have anything and I was kind of curious about her cooking so I popped the dish into the microwave and found some fresh shredded parmesan and grape tomatoes for a garnish. The microwave dinged and I carried it out into the living room with its wall of floor to ceiling windows and took in the twinkling lights of the Manhattan skyline at night. I sunk into her simple, tiny grey fabric couch with black and red pillows that was comfier than it looked as I ate. When I was done, I noticed shelves of books and Blu-Rays of old movies but what really caught my eye was the antique record player on a long white table with black canvas totes underneath and a stack of records beside it. It read like a history of twentieth century music but leaned heavily towards classic rock and jazz standards.

"Hey, beautiful. Impressed," I suddenly heard a husky voice ask.

"Yeah. I thought I was the only person in New York who still listened to records in the digital age. It doesn't sound the same. Music isn't meant to be portable. It's fine for working out and all but other than that I don't sit around listening to music on my iPhone. Even if you rip a record onto your iTunes something still gets lost," I turned around and took in the sight of Alex in a loosely tied black silk robe that barely did it's one job of covering her golden pussy and substantial cleavage. My mind instantly flashed back to looking up at her body as I rested between her legs and the sound of her moaning as my tongue did things to her dripping wet pussy that I didn't even know it could do. I tried to hide just how much she was taking my breath away in nothing but a piece of somewhat strategically placed fabric and moisturizer that I could tell was too shiny and creamy for her skin.

"There's still a few of us. I have the truly precious ones in my office. Where I keep my favorite collection," she said in a sexy, domineering tone as her fingers wrapped around my chin and rubbed my jaw. I wanted to beg her to kiss me and take me again even though I was more sore than I'd been after giving birth but I wanted to know what was so intimate she kept it in her office even more.

"What's that?"

"Come and see."

"I don't know if I should."

"Don't worry about should. We did something that yes a lot of people are going to say was wrong and I'll admit I used my position as a doctor to get close to you and keep you hooked on talking to me when really I had no desire to treat you as a client but the things I feel for you feel so right. I'm not your doctor and I never will be. We're two women, I'm a little over a decade older, we are headed for hell. When's the last time Piper Elizabeth Chapman did something because she wanted to? You say you want to be loved but living a quiet, safe life and coloring inside the lines will never give you the intense passion and deep commitment you desire."

"And you can?"

"I can try. And I want to. Stay the night. Let me show you who Alex is and what my interests are. I'll make you breakfast."

"You cook," I asked in a shocked tone as the source of my Italian leftovers was confirmed as being from the figure of perfection across from me.

"Yeah. It relaxes me. I enjoy it, the only problem is I have nobody to do it for but me. My friends would all rather drink all my booze than appreciate my cooking."

But still I had to be sure that what I had just tasted came from those skilled hands, "Did you make the pasta in your fridge?"

"Yup."

"Well, then, Al, you may have found somebody who more than appreciates your cooking. I'll take you up on breakfast and I'm guessing I won't be sleeping on the couch?"

"Not saying it'll never happen during the course of whatever we might share together, just not tonight. Trust me, babe."

"What could a woman as beautiful, talented, smart, wealthy and dare I say experienced as you want from a girl like me? I've dated a lot of people out of my league that after a while I just started dating guys that I knew I was too good for. They were hot and sweet but unfocused and not nearly as driven as me. But at least they didn't leave me the second they found someone prettier or who made a better wife. Someone more typically feminine and traditional who is fine with a nice, quiet suburban life and giving up her career to nurture his children's development."

Alex came over and held my face in her hands then slowly smoothed her thumbs along my cheekbones as she gently wiped away my tears. I had never been touched so tenderly by a woman before or anyone really as I was in that moment.

"I'm not that type. I'll admit you aren't the sort of girl I normally go for, especially since I hit my mid-thirties. Fresh meat was fun and all when I was young and had the time and patience. And I'm known to only go after gingers. If anybody understands how much a woman can value her career its me. I would never ask you to give that up. I know I want you but I know it's going to take some time for you to accept that and even longer for you to accept that you want me. That maybe life is taking you on an adventure you never imagined with the goal of getting you to exactly where you've always wanted to be. I'm in love with you, Piper. I have been since before I knew what you look like. Luckily, you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen and you always will be. You have been fed a lot of lies your whole life. You are like a bird with a broken wing and I just want to hold you and nurse you back to health but keep you forever."

"In a gilded cage?"

"Never. I want us to have a partnership. I'm here for every step along the way. Are you?"

"Yes."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Get cozy, my lovely readers, this chapter is long but central to everything moving forward and where you really get to see who Alex is and how they set the terms/boundaries for everything to come...I also wove in some backstory for my guest reader (hi, thanks...I forget that there's a lot I know as the writer and my first person narration from Piper's POV sometimes makes Alex's actions hard to understand because Piper and thus the reader doesn't know things about Alex's motivations unless Piper herself does) so I had Alex answer your question for me. And I know it moves fast but I wanted to get to the meat of the story quickly and they are in a place in their lives where they are open to love at first sight and want to settle down and share a life with another person now that their wounds from their respective ex-lovers are mostly healed.**

She moved her hands off my face and took my fingers in hers and led me back upstairs to the third bedroom down the hall, a tiny bedroom with more shelves full of books, a desk stacked with papers with a silver computer monitor and a laptop with an NYU barcode on its white plastic top beside the desktop computer, a large filing cabinet and a safe in the tiny closet. She led me over to a worn hutch and we sat on the floor on an expensive Persian rug on two black pillows. I watched as she pulled out a box full of World War II and Korean War pin-up girls and burlesque stars from the first half of the twentieth century.

"So, I'm guessing you aren't one of those anti-porn lesbians," I noted with a questioning tone as I tried to hide just how turned on these busty, curvaceous women in full makeup with curled hair, fishnet stockings and lingerie were making me until she pulled out a picture of a woman who bore a strong resemblance to her, "who is that?"

"She's gorgeous, isn't she? Bettie Page. Discovering her changed my life. I wanted to be her. She's my idol and my style inspiration. She seemed so empowered. And the more I became like her the more I wanted to help other people do the same thing. Then I learned about Maslow and now I help other people realize they missed a crucial step on the path to self-actualization. I loved chemistry and learning how the human body worked plus I saw how women in the trailer park worked and suffered as they had more mouths than they could feed and I didn't want any part of that life. I wanted to be wealthy, so medicine seemed like a natural choice. Genuine desire to become a doctor came later. Even though sometimes I don't make it apparent, I love helping people and seeing my clients get better."

"Did this Bettie Page woman make you realize you were gay?"

"I never really thought I was anything else. I was reading novels at five. I had a pretty good idea of what gay was and how that identity was expressed at an extremely early age. A little red-headed girl named Mary on the playground when I was around three was what made me realize I was gay. What do you think of her," Alex asked with a sly smile.

"I think you already know."

"Don't be bashful. Sex isn't just something you do. It's not only okay to talk about but necessary. Communication is the most important part of owning your sexuality and having a healthy sexual relationship with another person."

"These women are extremely hot. They make my core and center clench. They make me feel so wet. I don't want to be them but I sure would like to fuck one of them. I want to lick and finger their pussies. They bring out this sexually aggressive side I didn't know I had. Well, I had an inkling when we were getting ready to have sex in your room earlier. There was a moment where you were standing there in just your underwear and stockings and I felt this warmth deep in my core that I'd never felt before. I was so turned on. I think I'm into lingerie. Especially knee-highs for some unexplainable reason. Like I wanted to ask you to fuck me wearing just those but I was too shy and scared."

"You don't have to explain or analyze your healthy quirks, just acknowledge them and see if it's something the person you are having sex with can accommodate. And lucky for you, I love wearing lingerie and I'll fuck you anyway you ask. I'll wear or do or not anything you can imagine. I want to be your fantasy. My favorite is corsets but these sexy, long legs can rock some knee highs and thousand dollar hooker heels. Red? Leopard? Top luxury designers? You got it."

I reached out to run my hand along her rib cage, "That's some image. Al, would I have to dress up and act out your fantasies too?"

"I would hope you'd want to. But you never have to do anything you don't want to. I know our relationship has one hell of a power imbalance on multiple levels but never forget I'm not in the driver's seat here, you are. Just do me a favor and in public act, like I'm in control, I have a reputation that as bad as it is, I would like to uphold. I can see myself going shopping for a sexy dress and heels in another woman's size for once and taking you out on the town and then ripping the dress I spent so much time and money on to shreds the second we get into my apartment."

I knew she told me not to but I was so turned on between the alcohol, porn and discussing our sexual fantasies about each other but I couldn't resist stripping her robe off. I figured I'd deal with whatever consequence my actions led to after I was looking at a freshly fucked Alex Vause, naked and radiant yet exhausted and raw. I'd be more like her and just do, realize my heart's desire, set my sights on it and win it by any means necessary. I was sitting on the floor in her office looking at her arousal swollen breasts and hard nipples begging to be sucked surrounded by porn in the middle of the night so, obviously, it had worked for her. I climbed into her lap and kissed her as I pulled her robe off her shoulders.

"What do you think you're doing," Alex commanded with eyes full of fire and a physical expression that was looking to kill. But I had suddenly developed guts I never knew I was capable of and became completely unstoppable.

I rubbed my center against hers, grinding hard into her to increase the friction and feed my need to feel her body against mine, "I'm getting you out of this robe and then I'm going to have sex with you. I need you. I've never been one to become consumed by sexual fantasies but looking at those pictures and then talking about dressing up for each other was making me crazy."

"It has been a long time since I let a chick top me. I swore over a decade ago never again but I like this. A lot. I'll let you do this on one condition."

"Which is?"

"Don't get a girl going and not be able to finish. This was your idea so I expect you to know enough to figure it out on your own. Don't set fires you can't handle, Pipes. And if it's something you want to do in the future you had better do it right the first time, because if your performance is less than mind-blowing your first time dominating me will be your last."

"I just want to touch you. I need you. I need to know how it feels to fuck a sexy woman. I've been fucked so many times but it was amazing when I could ride a guy's cock on top of him."

"You better be ready for this. And your enjoyment of that position will be noted. Anything boys can do I can do better. Whether it's a promise or a threat depends on what's between your legs and how your pheromones work."

"I am," I answered as I kissed her mouth and took her breast in my hand. As I slowly rubbed towards her nipple, I noticed the contrast of her soft breast and her hard nipple. I had felt breasts before but never allowed myself to be fully present for the experience. Even earlier when I had been eating her out I was so concentrated on doing the right things with my tongue that I wasn't fully aware of what my hands were doing. Now that I was giving her massive tits my full attention, I was able to fully appreciate them, both for their size and responsiveness to stimulation. At this moment all my senses were spoken to through her body and its responses. Her moans grew louder as I squeezed her nipples and rubbed my ass against her until I felt her hand sneak between us and her knuckles rubbing against my clit. It felt so amazing but I knew it was Alex offering me guidance and letting me know what she needed, despite her earlier warning otherwise.

I moved her hand and replaced it with my own. I tried to replicate what she had been doing and I must not have done a terrible job at it because I felt her hips pivot and her legs open wider. I pushed my pelvis into hers as hard as I could, momentarily forgetting in the heat of the moment that I couldn't penetrate her that way. Alex was gasping for air and trying to get friction but my center was bearing down too hard on hers for her to overtake me. I rubbed my wet folds along her thigh just to remind her that her body currently belonged to me and her pleasure was secondary to my own. As I worked on the sticky pool that I was leaving on her leg my fingers traced every inch of her folds, purposely avoiding her swollen clit. As my opening clenched from an orgasm and I rubbed my pussy harder along her leg and began pushing harder against her clit as she bit her lip hard from the rough stimulation on her tender nerves. I grabbed at her tits, leaving behind scratches just above her areola, then clasped my mouth around her other nipple until I tasted blood and her hand snaked around my body and three fingers penetrated me from behind as her palm rubbed my ass and the stimulation on my other hole felt so good. I knew this position and our current power dynamic didn't lend itself to being anally penetrated but I made a mental note to ask for it later. I had never allowed anyone to touch the rim of that hole let alone penetrate it but I would give it to Alex to do as she wished without a second thought. My walls clenched around her fingers as much from her skilled thrusts as my fantasy of being on my knees with a thick dildo deep inside pussy and two fingers in my ass, both holes stretched to the max as her other hand pressed hard on my clit. With one perfectly placed thrust in a spongy spot, we had both discovered the existence of a few hours earlier I drenched her leg from a waterfall of my cum as I kissed her deeply with a rough, unbridled passion I never knew I was capable of. My orgasmic needs taken care of, I turned my attention back to Alex's glistening folds. There were no words to describe the wetness between her thighs as I slid my ass back onto her lap and wrapped my legs tightly around her hips. She reached over and handed me a bottle of what I assumed was lube based purely on our current situation. I didn't know there were brands other than the drug store basics and this lotion-like liquid she squirted on my palm and up fingers before tossing the bottle aside with one hand as she massaged it into my skin with the other was nothing like the watery substance that did little to soothe the rawness penetration led to that I was used to.

I slid two fingers inside her without thinking to ask if penetration was okay with her. It felt like it was what she needed. And I assumed that was the reason she had so lovingly and painstakingly lubricated my hand. It didn't take long before she was too open for even the two fingers I was gently thrusting inside her so I meekly added the tip of a third and was met by her walls contracting around my hand pulling me in deeper until I hit a spot that made her whole body stiffen and clench around me. I began thrusting harder and deeper as she threw up her head and moaned. I planted kisses along her neck and nibbled at her collarbone, leaving more of a mark than I had intended. I hoped she would let me off easy since I was so young, eager and inexperienced. I watched as this amazing woman came undone from my fist thrusting deep inside her as she screamed and her hips bucked wildly. I was fixated on her tits bobbing and her core tightening and moving like a belly dancer as I buried as much of my hand inside her as I could. I swelled with every emotion I knew and some that were entirely new to me as I watched her orgasm rip through her body until I felt a stream of liquid run down my arm and I started thrusting even harder and faster as she screamed and her nails dug into my skin. Her breaths became shallower with each long thrust. I searched for that same spot inside her that she had found on me and hiss like an alley cat in heat confirmed the moment I finally found it and felt a gush that was like a broken fire hydrant.

After a while, even her sounds went quiet but her body was still stiff and her walls were clenching around my fist deep inside her. I knew I was causing her pain but she didn't tell me to stop so I just kept going. Every time I tried to slide out her walls clenched around my hand and pulled me back in then she would come again as tears streamed down her face. I worried I was causing her pain but she was so tight and I didn't know how to work her down from her high. Guys were easy. They thrust forcefully inside me and ground their bodies roughly against mine for a while while they grunted from exertion with their sexual pleasure and desire to conquer the female body and control a woman's sexuality and fertility, they came and then they got flaccid and pulled out. Hopefully without leaving any form of evidence behind. They managed the aftermath of their climax on their own but I was quickly realizing women weren't so easy and I had chosen to start my journey with an especially difficult, multi-orgasmic one with a never-ending flow of cum and seemingly an even worse ability to say stop during a sexual encounter than I had.

I could get her there but I couldn't bring her back down to earth so I tried to remember what she had done to me hours earlier when my body was spent but my center was still willing for more and copied her earlier motions. I rubbed her clit with my thumb and held her tight with my other arm as I pulled back and forth in slow, even strokes, pushing against the pull of her body and avoiding that spot that would inevitably build her back up and I was certain would overstimulate her. I wanted her to allow me to do this again so getting it right was crucial. She whimpered when I finally was all the way out of her, so I rested my cum-drenched hand on her still heaving chest and nuzzled into her pillowy bosom as I told her how beautiful she was and softly kissed the spot where the swell of her breast met her ribcage.

She took my hand and put it in my mouth, "Don't waste the spoils from all your hard work. You earned every drop of that. Now I know you must at least have some idea how to suck your lover off. There isn't a big difference between a dick and fingers, except one won't end up with the age-old debate of spit or swallow."

"What would you know about that?"

"I was a horny, slutty teenager once who took sex any way that she could get it. I made them go down on me first because that was always the deal and still is. Now I'm a horny grown lesbian and, lately, I've been feeling very particular about who I share this hot body with."

"How particular and for how long are we talking, Al? And explain why you went down on me first tonight."

"Like one human being out of all the billions of lifeforms in the galaxy for the last six weeks. I never thought I'd want to settle down with another human being and want to share a meal let alone my space with another woman without her begging me to. Without my sexual fulfillment being threatened."

"That sounds like one very lucky woman."

Alex looked down at me and I reluctantly tore my cheek from her soft yet sweaty breast and looked up at her as she gently ran a finger through one of my golden curls until my face flushed like a schoolgirl, "Yeah, she is," Alex responded with a tone that was at once syrupy sweet and smoking hot as she lifted my head with one smooth motion along my jaw and kissed me, "Oh, and in response to your other question, because I wanted to. Because dragging my tongue through your folds and giving you the most pleasurable experience known to womankind is all I've been able to think about for a month and a half. I wanted you to feel pleasure and I know for you sex has always been an exchange that you got the raw end of every time. And then I may have clicked on your Instagram and that led to a Google rabbit hole and reading articles all night about this up and coming natural beauty company that celebrates all women. You are a very impressive, passionate woman, Piper Chapman. And that made me want to show you true pleasure. But at the same time, I couldn't handle you rejecting me so I set up this elaborate ruse and used my position as a doctor to gain your trust, hoping you would want a different sort of relationship with me, something less professional. About three weeks ago I started to get signals that you wanted that too so I set my plan in motion and I was a pussy and instead of being direct and asking you to dinner I promised my secretary one hell of Christmas bonus to do it for me. I'd understand if you can't forgive the stalking or using my position to get you into my arms but know it started out being about the sex but it became a deep desire to connect with you on a level I didn't know I was capable of."

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere? I should be completely pissed but you've told me enough tonight that has made me understand why you did what you did. You aren't comfortable with vulnerability, yours or anyone else's, despite being this famous, highly sought after sex therapist who commands five hundred dollars for fifteen minutes of her time because her credentials and expertise are that great. Yeah, I can work Google too, I don't know how I missed finding your headshot but I did."

"Would you care for Dr. Vause's expert analysis?"

"What's it gonna cost me?"

"Kiss me," she commanded as I went for her lips and then she shook her head and I planted a kiss at the spot where her cleavage started, its salty warmth was so inviting that I ended up pleasuring her tits with my mouth as I roughly massaged them, trying in vain to get even one of them into my hand without spilling out. I knew from her breathing that even though she was sore and spent, she was close to cumming again so I became more tender with my motions. She tangled her fingers in my hair and held me right where she wanted me as I shifted my position on her lap than slipped my leg between hers and began to gently rub her swollen, raw center. When she finally let me go I looked at the ultimate result of my efforts. Her nipples were dark crimson saucers and her pussy was a mix of scarlet and plum tones with her swollen outer lips still wet and visible.

"Look at you all proud of yourself, Ms. I gave a woman four orgasms with minimal assistance. Babe, believe me, I'm especially challenging and I know it. I'm a pro at making women cum, the reverse is rarely true. But you, Ms. Cuddles, are special. Thirty-seven was a hard year. The first half of thirty-eight wasn't much better than this beautiful gift fell into my lap, well now quite literally. But back to the last couple of years, I learned to guard my heart and that sex and friendship were completely different things that I would never find in one person, from a single relationship. Then I momentarily let my guard down and Silvia happened. I knew I didn't love her but she loved me and it felt nice to be wanted like that after feeling so used for nearly a decade. Ultimately, she wanted to ruin me and use me in an even worse way. I hated myself for making the same mistake again. I knew I wanted something real. I was tired of the lies and being hurt. Then I started talking to you and you were so smart and introspective. You made me think and I could go to these deep places with you. I remember being in an appointment with my therapist, yeah I have one and I think if your therapist says they don't it's the biggest red flag of all, and telling her I think I'm developing feelings for this girl and I think she likes me too but I'm scared to end up being nothing to her. You brought out this nurturing, protective side of me. I'm in love with you. Deeper than I've ever been. Even if I could or wanted to run, I'm too far gone. I'm completely smitten with you. We fit together so seamlessly. I'm not exactly comfortable right now and I know if we went to bed right now we'd be in a more comfortable version of this position in fifteen seconds but I don't ever want to let you out of my arms or not feel your head over my heart."

"Eventually one of us will need to pee and this looks like an expensive rug."

"Yeah, one that thanks to you will probably have a stain."

"I didn't cum on the rug. That's purely your fault, Vause."

"How so?"

"Well, coming in here to look at porn was your idea and you knew I'd be into it when you dragged me in here."

"Yeah, I didn't expect you'd pounce on me and end up fucking my brains out."

"I surprised myself. I've never been so turned on. I've never been aggressive or thought of myself as being a very sexual person. I enjoy sex but I would rather cuddle and talk for hours. I don't need sex but I do need cuddles."

"I'm the other way around but it's so different with you. So, I'll take responsibility for underestimating you and we'll get up and take a shower, you need to brush your teeth cause I know you haven't since you went down on me and stale pussy is not a taste you want on your mouth in the morning, then we can spoon all night or cuddle however your little heart desires."

"I've always wanted to wake up spooning a lover but it only lasts a couple of hours before an arm falls asleep or someone gets uncomfortable."

"We can try. I'm not going to say that won't happen but I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. It's all I've wanted every night for weeks as I've chatted with you all cozy in bed with my tablet and a mug of tea."

I kissed her and then slowly stood up and helped pull her up and as she stood before me, completely exposed I knew I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life and doubted I ever would, "You are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. I mean the ladies in your naughty pictures are good looking and all but none of them have a better body than you. I love your breasts, your hips, your ass," I teased as I smoothed my hands along her curves and grabbed as much of her round ass as I could but was greeted with glutes clenching and a hand pushing me aside, "What about something without a sexual component?"

I pulled her glasses off and kissed her eyelids, "What do you think?"

"I need to hear it."

"I love every bit of you, Alex Pearl Vause. Even the creases and laugh lines."

"You shouldn't say that to someone who can have you committed real quick, you crazy sexy little woman. I don't even love those. My breasts aren't as perky as they used to be, I've got that pad of fat around the tummy middle-aged women get and no matter what you do won't go away."

"I don't have anything to compare it to and I think the body you have is ridiculously hot. And I don't think I need to tell you how I feel about your tits."

"No, no I don't. Tell me."

"If I tell you I'll want to do that thing again and I don't think either of our bodies can handle it. But I am really into them. I can't believe they are not only real but all-natural, they are right?"

"Yeah, babe. I've had some botox and work done on my face, a little lipo in key places but even as they've started to show their age I've never wanted to mess with my tits. As long as they still attract the girls like moths to a flame, I want to leave them alone."

"I'm not complaining. And you better be planning on getting some Citronella candles to deal with any potential lingering bug infestation."

"Oh, after what you just did to me you own all of me. Most girls see my naked tits and get overwhelmed and change their minds so I got out of the habit of letting them see them, despite how much they need to be pleasured. I learned to take care of their needs myself and focus on my body count."

"I want to take care of your every need, whether sexual or otherwise. Seeing you raw and vulnerable only makes me want you more. I want to be with a woman in touch with her sensuality and softness but who is still strong and powerful. Maybe I am crazy in love but I don't care. I'd rather be crazy over you than any other alternative."

"You will never succeed in convincing a psychiatrist of your sanity once they've made up their mind that you are crazy. Oh, and as for the analysis, you were avoiding the point of no return on so many levels. You had recently come to terms with both your bisexuality and desire to pursue a relationship with a woman but didn't know how to take the next step. So, you did what intelligent people in a crisis do and found a therapist. But you developed a crush on said therapist, which is extremely common, especially for women when they are first coming out. It's always a therapist or a teacher of some sort, she's also always around a decade older, that they imprint on when they are first coming out, I'd be more ridiculously wealthy than I already am if I ever figure that one out. Normally, those feelings aren't mutual but in our case they are. You fell in love with my words and seeing my face would mean doing something so reckless and scary or having your first broken heart at the hands of a woman. You couldn't see a way that making your feelings real could end in anything other than tragedy and pain, so you created a buffer that allowed you to focus on your needs and ignore your desires and curiosity. Being the beautiful sapiosexual you are, you were understandably afraid that you would be unable to handle my perfect words not measuring up to my physical appearance. So you focused on the intellectual and avoided the physical until you saw my fingers around that wine glass and felt a surge of desire. But you didn't have the knowledge or confidence to do anything about it until I stuck my tits in your face and you couldn't avoid your fears about all the lines you would have to cross to be with me and how much it would change your life. This thing we are doing is going to wreck your life but it'll come back together in the most beautiful way and I promise I will be here to hold you, wipe away your tears and share the good times. Let's shower and get to bed, where we can cuddle somewhere more comfortable for my old back."

"You want a massage? I'm good at giving massages and with tailoring lotion to one's unique needs."

"I'd love one but my back and shoulders better be the only things you rub."

"I would never violate you, after everything you've done to get me to trust you and how much you've opened up to me, even though it goes against everything you are. I respect and value you so much. I just want to make you feel good and make sure you don't feel any pain."

"What if I ask for it?"

"Well, that's a different story for a different day because I want to have a nice, long life with you and I think one more round might kill us."

"Yeah, tonight was intense and it's been around a decade since I could say I've had an epic night. Why don't you go get the shower started and I will make us a nightcap and come join you."

"Can I borrow some underwear?"

"Uhm, our cum has already mixed by now so you don't need to ask at this point. Just take whatever you want. Well, unless it's my pussy before the sun is up and I'm fully caffeinated."

"Deal, sweetheart," and with that, I released my grip on her love handles and we went our separate directions in the apartment before she appeared in the huge all-white bathroom with two cocktails, I took a sip and tasted triple sec and citrus.

"Sidecar. You like it?"

"Yeah. I don't know much about alcohol, I wasted most of my twenties on a guy who can't handle his liquor so I learned not to drink in front of him. He drinks but he shouldn't. Before Geo came along I used to sneak into the bathroom and drink white wine on the bathroom floor while he was asleep. I did it more times than I want to admit before I knew he was in there. And now every issue he has I wonder if it is because I drank regularly for the first two months of his existence."

"Well, I guess that's just more I get to teach you. And don't blame yourself. You were young and doing what you had to do to survive your life. And if he had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome I'd be able to tell in a minute. And a respected NYU psychiatrist with knowledge of early pediatric psychology says he doesn't. I'm kind of glad I get to sculpt you from clay, that way I get to enhance your perfection."

"And I'm glad I get to be the one to build you back up and help build you into the woman I want to be and enhance your perfection," Alex softly pressed her lips to mine to hide the tears I felt against my cheek, I chose to just run my fingers through her hair, guide her to the shower then gently clean and soothe the woman who had given me so much without asking for anything in return. Then I just as gently led her to the bed where she quickly pulled my back in close to her front and nestled her legs against mine as we fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Here's the morning after...things are about to get rocky for our beloved Vauseman (don't worry this story is ultimately the perfect combo of fluff and smut because that's my thing) but here's one last moment in the cocoon of Alex's apartment. And there's a crucial yet subtle word choice that reveals everything about Alex's feelings about becoming an instant mom to Geo. Hopefully, I'll have another chapter for my lovely readers later today. To ejm137, only kinda hot? What would be totally hot? LOL Yeah, I've made the mistake of reading Vauseman fanfiction in public I shouldn't have too many times but I still never learn.**

I woke up the next morning to the early morning autumn sun streaming through the window. I didn't know if I had ever slept this late. I was surprised my body hadn't woke me up for my morning run, of course, that could have been because I finally went to sleep around the time I would have been waking up for said workout. In my sleepy haze, I had a moment of terror as I realized I was in an unfamiliar room and I couldn't hear my son playing with his superhero action figures while watching PJ Masks. Then I felt ahead nestled deep into the curve of my neck with its nose on my shoulder, an arm wrapped tightly around my abdomen, a leg between mine and massive breasts rubbing against my back. As my awareness of this female body intertwined with my own became clearer, every snippet of what happened the night before rapidly replayed in my mind. I knew where I was and who the powerful, sophisticated goddess was that those tits were attached to and I grinned sheepishly than whispered the only two letters my still sore mouth and it's worn out tongue could muster, "Al."

I got no response so I tried to turn to face her but she was holding me too tightly. However, my shuffling did seem to wake her up because I soon felt a soft kiss on my shoulder.

"Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?"

"Amazingly. God, these sheets are so soft. This is the best cotton I've ever felt. You?"

She loosened her grasp and let me roll over so we were lying face to face, "Only the best finest things in the world for me," she teased as she began to softly and gently massage my still tender breast, "I already have more money than I could spend in a lifetime so I will never worry about money a day in my adult life. I don't have to look at price tags, if I want it then I get it. I don't work for money, money works for me. And now I don't have to worry about anything at all cause I just had the best sleep of my life with the sweetest, most beautiful princess in the world. You still into this?"

I blushed as the words she said and her gentle touch sank deeper into my soul. I couldn't believe a woman so perfect would think I was, in fact, the perfect one. For a moment I enjoyed those delightful green orbs tenderly staring into my blue eyes and what that hand was doing to my minuscule bosom.

"Totally," I kissed her deeply and before long her leg had snuck back between mine and was rubbing gently and slowly against my center, "You look so different without your glasses."

"I know, I look hideous."

"Far from it. I don't think you are capable of looking hideous."

"You either. If I hadn't already figured that out before last night than I really know it now. Your face looks softer and rounder. You have this twinkle in your eye."

"Cause I'm looking at you. And that is not a pickup line."

"Then why did you rub harder when you said it?"

"Cause I could sense you needed it. Was I wrong?"

"No. Although my clit could use a little more stimulation."

"How would you suggest I treat the problem, sweetheart?"

"Finger me but keep rubbing, damn that feels good. I don't even need penetration."

"Then I won't but I will still make you cum and then I'll make us some breakfast."

Half an hour later I was struggling to get my heart rate and breathing to level out when Alex cooly asked, "Waffles or French Toast?"

"How can you think about food right now, babe?"

"I'm a top. I'm the one doing all the work. You get to lie there and moan."

"Bullshit, Alex Vause."

"I'm guessing the signal of you being pissed at me is dropping my title?"

"Fuck you."

"Then what use would I have for you?"

I shoved her shoulder hard yet playfully and she responded by attempting to figure out where my tickle spot was but of course she couldn't find it.

"You know for a woman who could find my g-spot so easily this is a real let down."

"Where is it?"

"You'll have to find it yourself, Alex Vause. And the answer as to breakfast depends on whether or not you have Grand Marnier."

"Of course I do."

"Then that settles it, French Toast. Damn, I miss grown-up French Toast. My son is in that stage where he wants to eat whatever I'm eating and that isn't a behavior I want to discourage because the thought of living on mac and cheese and chicken nuggets for the foreseeable future is not very tempting."

"Well, let's eat everything you miss since your son started on real food."

"You didn't call him my kid."

"Did I? Must have misspoken."

"Sure, Vause. You big softie."

"Anybody else said that they'd be a bloody mess slinking out of my apartment but you are my only exception. I'll be whatever you want me to be, just as long as you don't force me to reveal my private self in public. I have an outward persona that works for me."

"For the first time in my life, I have one too. I know who I am and who I want to be."

"Who's that," she teased with a look in her eye that dared me to say the word first.

"A young, rising entrepreneur, mother of a sweet little boy and the lover of an intelligent, established older woman with a hot, voluptuous body."

"Dreams do come true. Let's go make some food and spend the day on the couch watching movies."

"Will there be hot women kissing in these movies?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, you zygote. Do you want the foundational films of queer cinema in an afternoon? The movies on Netflix are good but so many of them are so trashy. We'll have a double feature and make dinner before you have to head back to Brooklyn. Hang out in sweats, pig out on whatever, order Thai food and just cuddle."

"Sounds like my dream date, how did you know, baby?"

"I make a living off my intuition. When you only have fifteen minutes with a patient you have to figure them out in five or less."

I stayed at her apartment until she called me an Uber Black just after midnight on Sunday and we both tried not to cry as we hung onto each other and kept going for one more kiss until the car arrived. We stayed up another three hours chatting over text messages and Snapchat and Snapchat. I was Dr. Alex Vause's lover and all was momentarily right with the world. But as I listened to the sirens on the Manhattan streets I knew it was a world full of darkness and danger waiting right outside her front stoop.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Lorna is written out of character a bit on purpose so I could open the door for some Nchorello action to develop in a way that feels realistic to me...enjoy the Lorna/Piper friendship getting stronger as the Polly/Piper one dies**

I strutted into work without a shred of my usual harried, overwrought demeanor wearing dark skinny jeans, a striped sweater, and thigh-high, chunky chocolate brown boots with a matching purse at 9:15 Monday morning with a smile and a soy no foam latte from a trendy café near my office.

"Morning, Lorna, any calls? Polly in yet?"

"I have one message that came in on Friday after closing and I took it down," she sorted through a stack of small multicolored papers until she found it, "Here," then handed me the pink message slip, "So far Monday has been quiet. I forwarded you a proposal from Sephora about developing a line for them. You're in an awfully cheerful mood this morning and on time to work for once. I guess you enjoyed your kid-free weekend, then?"

"I did. I missed Geo like crazy, though."

"Yeah, you look like you spent all weekend sniffing your baby's shirts. Now I'm not saying you don't look like you spent some quality time sniffing a shirt belonging to the male species, just that it didn't belong to Geo. If you found someone to keep you company, I won't judge you. It's about time you did. You were becoming insufferable. I don't know what's been going on the past few months but you've seemed so conflicted lately. I didn't want to pry because I know for as close as we are, I'm still your employee but I'm friends with you and Polly. I pick up your sons and care for them when you two can't. I care about you both so much."

"I wouldn't have told you if you had asked. I've had a secret for a while. I've developed feelings for a woman, we've been emailing for a while and I met her for dinner and drinks on Friday night. I let her take me back to her apartment when she asked me to come home with her. She has the most amazing penthouse in Gramercy Park. I slept with her."

"As in you had you know with her or did you just have too much to drink so you crashed on her couch?"

"Sex isn't a dirty word and have you ever slept on a guy's couch after a mutually amazing date?"

"Well, no but she's a woman. It's different, girls don't think like that."

"Oh, sweet young Lorna they most definitely do."

"I'm only thirty-two months younger."

"But you have only begun to live and I was forced to grow up fast between an alcoholic mother, philandering father and becoming a single mother at twenty-five."

"I'm twenty-five now and I want a little Italian meatball eventually but not anytime soon. Right now, I just want a guy to text me back. So, how was it? I'm not going to ask you to divulge details or ask what lesbians do in bed but just in the sense of my friend sleeping with someone new and wanting to be there for her."

"And if you did I would tell you that if you are so curious to go find a woman to have sex with you. It was the best sex I've ever had. It's like I just discovered what sex is supposed to be like."

"But, Piper, you're straight!"

"I've never been one for labels. I've had feelings for women before. It was always a secret between me and Polly. My feelings for women had never been so strong that I couldn't set them aside and concentrate on the very real feelings I had for men. Then I met her and everything I thought I knew about sex was wrong. I couldn't resist her. I guess I'm bisexual but I've never felt the things I felt for her within minutes of meeting in person for any man. But, at the same time, I didn't dislike having sex with guys. I didn't get knocked up young cause I hated fucking dudes. I mean there's something so satisfying about making a flaccid cock hard and being the object of that sort of desire. It's just not very challenging. It gets boring real fast."

"Maybe I should try the whole loving people for their souls instead of whether or not they are a financially secure Italian stallion capable of putting a ring on my finger and a house full of boys in my belly."

"I'm really selling it up now but that's because so far only one person knows I'm not only in love with a woman but that I fucked and was fucked by a prime specimen of the female species. You know how my family and Polly are, they aren't likely to take my admission that I am to currently be seeing a woman who I fall in love with more every day and can see myself building a life with."

"So, I'm guessing you are going to see her again, then?"

"See who again, Pipes," Polly asked, finally making her presence in our reception area known.

"How long have you been here, Pol?"

"Long enough. I encouraged you to get some, I didn't think you'd turn into a full-blown dyke over the course of a weekend."

"What because I ate pussy and liked it?"

"You let her take you home?"

"Well, let isn't exactly the correct verb choice, I went willingly. It was her idea but very much what I wanted."

"When did you meet her?"

"Friday night after my intake."

"Where?"

"A French bistro in the Village."

"Tell me you at least played a little hard to get."

"Not at all. We shared some sassy flirting and she made fun of me but we both knew what we were trying to accomplish through it. And I kissed her first."

"Tell me she's not some mannish old bulldyke who just wants a fresh piece of youthful lady bits."

"Ugh. If you are going to use a slang term at least go all the way. Pussy, cunt."

"It wasn't that long ago you were calling it a tutu. Now that you've decided to embrace your inner lesbo you are all different. Going home with someone you haven't been on a proper date with? Really? I figured you'd dance a little too close with some chick, let her stroke the kitten in the bathroom and go home and decide to find a real father for your son."

"Yeah, because you are an expert at what makes a man a real father! The only difference between Pete and Larry is he never hit you. Pete is lazy. Pete left you with a newborn and was heralded like the prodigal son when he came back six weeks later and made a commitment to his wife and child. Pete never leaves your son to cry in his crib in a dirty sleeper or only changes his diaper when it is completely full like Larry but that doesn't make him any better."

"Are you going to bring this woman around your son? He has enough problems. He doesn't need his mother running around with strange women. He doesn't need to be exposed to the sort of people that lifestyle attracts. A revolving door of chicks isn't going to be any better than one of dudes."

"There won't be. And okay, to be honest, I didn't just meet her Friday night. We've been emailing since July. I ran into her at the restaurant, it wasn't exactly planned. I mean I knew she'd be there and that she wanted me to come but we didn't plan for it to be a date. I didn't even know it was her when she came onto me, she knew it was me but she acted like she didn't. I mean, I won't deny I hoped and thought that it was her but I didn't know for sure. All I knew was she was the hottest, most powerful woman I had ever seen. She teased me mercilessly and then she told me her name was Alex."

"Piper! As in Dr. Vase, Alex?"

"How many times do I have to tell you it's Vause!"

"What happened to oh, Pol even if I did want to be with her I would never? The first warm female thighs you find yourself in between ends up belonging to her, seriously Piper?"

"I fought it at first but she's gorgeous. When I saw her, I was so envious of everything about how rich, feminine and flawless she was. She has a perfect hourglass figure and full lips. I can't believe a woman that good looking is not only real but smitten with a girl like me. Then my envy turned to an inescapable desire to fuck her. If I couldn't be her and I had her interest at least I could fuck her. She's been through some shit. She's strong and earned every cent to her name from hard work and dedication. She's got a two-story Gramercy penthouse. And technically, she was never my doctor. She's the medical director and staff psychiatrist but I never had an appointment with her. Also, I was never completely accepted as a patient."

"Well, at least you went for a power femme. So, who was the man when you two were in bed or wherever you did the deed? Damn queers fuck like animals. Can't count the times I've almost peed my pants in some bars cause two queers who probably didn't know each other's names were going down on each other in there. They fuck everywhere but the one place society deems acceptable because they have this need to be as in your face as possible about their sexual behavior. Sleeping with the same sex is weird enough to the rest of us but not them."

"Nobody. That's sorta the point. She's got a certain butch quality and she's a totally sexy, cool, powerful badass. I now firmly believe suave is nothing but an anagram for her last name. She makes it clear she's in control even when she gave a little over to me but she still made sure I knew she could take it back at any moment. And she was so encouraging and guided me every step of the way. She was constantly checking in with me and cared about what I wanted and liked over her desires. I've never been with anyone who took so much care and attention with me in bed. You know the type of chick I'm into. You've known me for a decade, have you ever seen me give a butch a second glance? I like feminine women."

"Yeah and feminine boys too. I forgot."

"Can you two take this fight to your office? I don't get paid enough to listen to you two fight it out. And, Polly, I find your homophobia and graphic discussion of homosexual behavior inappropriate topics for the common areas of the workplace. Piper, if you come into work relaxed and happy more often than I don't care who is making you that way or the circumstances behind how you met. If you want to date a wealthy, sophisticated female sex therapist than go for it. I fully support you and would never say the disparaging and downright hateful things I heard from your so-called best friend just now. Who am I to judge? This world needs more love. I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I developed feelings for a woman. I'm straight but the heart wants what it wants and sometimes you fall in love with the person because, honestly, genitals aren't all that fun to look at on anyone. Those aren't anybody's best quality or at least it shouldn't be. Love is love. I'm glad you're happy, Piper."

"Piper doesn't sign your checks, I do. And there is no way that's love. It's lust, pure and simple. I'm trying to keep the woman I love like a sister safe. I've watched her do stupid things constantly when sex is involved and now, she's really gone and done it. Lorna, you can lecture me when you've known Piper half as long as I have and held her when she was crying over a lover or crush who broke her heart so much as one time. Piper, you forced someone to commit a serious felony."

"Not a felony. I had consensual sex with a woman who happens to be a doctor. She was never my doctor so it's perfectly legal. She's my lover. She's the best girl I've seen and it's so easy to talk to her. Even if we don't see eye to eye all the time."

"What third-tier school gave her a bachelor's let alone a medical degree, anyway? What, did she go to Grenada for med school or something?"

"A little Massachusetts liberal arts college you might have heard of called Harvard gave her a bachelors. Then UCSF gave her an MD/Ph.D. and she did a residency at NYU. Now she divides her time between NYU and her queer female-focused private practice. It's a really cool place."

"Harvard? I know someone who knows someone who's heard of her and they said she's a gutter rat."

"Spurned lover?"

"Yeah. Something you are about to be if what my friend's acquaintance says is true and then where will you and George be?"

"It's different with me. She opens up to me and she's even said she's never felt as comfortable with anyone else. She said I was her intellectual equal. I came seven times Friday night and made her come four, then we had sex Saturday afternoon too. And it feels like what sex is supposed to be. I came seven times the first night and four more before I left her apartment a couple of hours into Sunday morning. I really like her. She's so amazing. I've never felt like I do with her."

"Well, that's excessive. She's a big talker. She's an expert at understanding women's minds and emotions by nature and then she went and spent years getting educated on and researching the subject. And she uses her powers for evil. She knows what women want to hear and how to convince them that she's being genuine. She probably has the next chick locked in her sights already. She's snagged you, she's had you. What do you think she wants with some young single mother? She'll get bored the second shit gets real. And then I'm gonna be left picking up the pieces once again. I'm going to be raising that damn pain in the ass kid again cause your heart is too broken to be his mother."

"People can grow up. They change. Why don't you believe she can change?"

"She's like, what, almost forty? If she was gonna change she would have done it by now. I love you too much to let you do this, Piper."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't say the things you just said about me, my son or my lover! You just can't handle not being exactly like me. It was fun when you were the six months younger girl in high school but it isn't fun anymore! I'm becoming my own person now and it's time you did it too! You know instead of snagging yourself the first man willing to marry you and having a newborn son by your first anniversary. What's Finn going to think when he finds out he only exists because you can't handle me having anything that you don't have? Guess this is the only thing I've ever done that I don't have to worry about you copying! Get your own damn life, bitch," I yelled as I stormed into my office and slammed the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Polly stayed in her office and I stayed in mine the rest of the morning with Lorna running between us. Our employees all knew we had one hell of a fight and whenever any of them tried to find out what had happened Lorna would tell them they didn't want to know. A little after lunchtime I got a text from Alex.

_Ugh…Nicky totally overreacted_

_What happened?_

_We had our weekly Monday morning check in to discuss the upcoming week and review the last…she brought up your intake and I told her I had declined to take u as a patient…she asked why and I tried to tell her cause I said so but she pressed me so I told her the truth and she told me I'd never learn my lesson…after Silvia I went and did something way more dangerous…we had the fight to end all fights…she's in her office being pissed at me_

_Sounds like my morning…Polly found out and ripped into me in front of our assistant…she wants to meet u so that's something_

_Yeah Nicky wants me to bring you by the bar Weds…I told her I'd have to ask if that was something that you're ready for…my friends are crazy and it's a dyke bar_

_I have been to plenty of gay bars…I went to college in Northampton and I've been to a couple clubs in Park Slope when I could sneak out_

_When's the last time you went out?_

_The night before I emailed you…I got drunk and let this girl get all over me…I didn't feel anything for her but we both wanted sex so I let her come on to me…I'm not gonna say I didn't like it but I don't even know her name…but when she started to tug me into the bathroom I made up a lie that I had to get home to Geo and that scared her off like everyone else I've told about him_

_Everyone, _she texted with an emoji with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, two women with a pink heart between them and a woman holding a baby.

_Well until I found you, sweetheart…I didn't get intimidated by your tits, you didn't get intimidated by my son_

_Yes, and that makes me even more attracted to you. But I'm sooo scared. Al, I didn't want to lose Geo and I don't know who I'd choose if I was forced to_

_I'd make u choose Geo…my mom would kill me if I let u choose anything else…it'll be okay. I warned u we were headed for a bit of hell but we just have to do anything we can to show people that this is real…it'll take time…nobody is going to take that boy over this…u are still just as good a mother as ever…falling for a woman is not a reason to take a woman's kid anymore…even if the circumstances weren't ideal…not that anybody could find out now…I destroyed the paper trail so there's no tangible evidence…I'm working until 8 but call me after he's in bed and try something_

_What?_

_Don't pour yourself a drink after he's in bed…the drunk mommy act is going to make u lose the kiddo way before ur current choice of a lover ever will_

_I won't if u won't_

_If that's what it takes…ur drinking is out of control…u need to fully experience this time in your life _

_What ru gonna do for Pol_

_I don't know…she'll be mad until she isn't…WASPs for ya_

_Don't you give me that bs…if ur mad we fight it out…conflict is healthy…holding it in will only prolong the inevitable…now go make things right with ur best friend and I'll go make things right with mine…show up at the office at seven Weds if u do_


	12. Chapter 12

Wednesday afternoon I treated Polly to a sushi lunch, we had generally stayed out of each other's way and only communicated about business over the past few days and the tension in the office was palpable. She didn't ask about Alex and I didn't talk about her, as happy as I was with my new lover and as proud as I was to have finally fully embraced my queer identity. I wanted to see if we could get back to what we were before I chose to become Alex's lover. I didn't want to accept that our bond was so weak that it could be torn apart by me acting on the woman-loving side of my bisexual identity. I tried to forget the looks she used to give me as a scantily clad girl came out of my room when we used to live together but I couldn't. Still, I wasn't ready to quit trying to resuscitate our relationship so I decided to give her one last chance

"Well, I'm guessing this isn't a work lunch," she asked as she sipped on a glass of sake and I kept to my green tea.

"No. We have to talk. And sushi is our thing."

"Yeah but you are dating a woman now. You know you are going to go to her first for that sort of sisterhood and support women provide each other. We no longer have an intimate relationship and I don't want one with an avowed homosexual."

"Not necessarily. There are times I'll lean on her as my partner but I still need friends. I could never have the sisterly bond I do with you. If for no other reason than my strong desire to rip her clothes off every time I see her that I've never felt for you."

"Well, I would hope so. I'm already disturbed thinking about every time you've helped me put on a dress. You've seen me naked, Piper, you've touched me when I was topless to help me get undressed."

"Yes, but nothing like the way I touched Alex when I was undressing her. When I touch your skin and when I touch hers it's completely different. Alex's skin sends shockwaves to my soul and I feel a surge of desire-"

"Ew, spare me the details. You are just like every other queer, focused purely on genital pleasure. You aren't a monkey, sex has two purposes, money and powers and homosexual sex affords neither. I mean unless two queers with opposite parts are fucking, I guess that's a thing now. I've been hoping it's just a phase or something you needed to get out of your system but I guess this is you now, you've decided to live as a lesbian. I thought you would change and I'm sorry you weren't strong enough to resist the worst form of carnal temptation. I always admired your strength and independence but over the past three years you've been nothing but sexually weak and dependent on other people to give you value."

"I'm a queer woman, Polly. And what's so wrong with having sex for no reason other than a desire to feel pleasured? Yeah, I did something bold. Something you will never comprehend. I had to. I was dying. I was barely there for my kid. He deserved better."

"Do you really think exposing your child to some hypersexual woman is better? How are you going to be there for your son when you are at the command of some rich and powerful woman, a doctor no less?

Oh well, if there's a silver lining in all this than I guess it's that she's not that gay."

"And do you mean she doesn't look butch when you say she's not that gay?"

"Nobody would look at her and say she's a big dyke-"

"I told you not to use that word, especially in that context," I yelled and slapped her across the mouth, "and believe me underneath it all she's plenty gay."

But it had no effect on my soon to be ex-best friend as she continued her original thought to its illogical conclusion, "How do you know she isn't just trying to turn you out?"

"That is her thing. Laying claim to newly out bisexuals. But if this were just about sex, we would have had it way before Friday night. We wouldn't have spent so much time talking about everything but sex before we ended up in bed together and I wouldn't have woken up on Saturday morning with her tangled up around my body. She was holding me like someone who was scared it was all a dream. We have a lot to work through and we are both going to need our sidekicks."

"I don't know if I can be anymore. I can't watch you throw your life away for a relationship again. And I don't think I can ever be fully comfortable alone with you now that I know you are attracted to women in that way for real."

"I'm attracted to queer women, not stuck up heterosexual bitches! Seriously, don't flatter yourself. I don't want to sleep with every woman I see any more than you want to sleep with every guy you see."

"You sure didn't mind cuddling with me when we used to live together. I feel so gross thinking that I used to live with you. Like you could have done something to me."

"That is so ridiculous! I can't believe the things that have come out of your mouth lately but the worst is every time you have inferred that all gay people are sex criminals. You must really think you are hot shit and I'm some sex-crazed maniac. Most sex criminals are heterosexual men!"

"And I wouldn't live with one any sooner than I'd knowingly live with a homosexual!"

"Bullshit, Polly, you knew! You just did everything possible to deceive me into thinking I could never live a happy life and achieve my dreams as an openly queer woman well look at me now, I'm doing it, Pol. I'm not going back and I'm not going to let you fill me with fear ever again! Alex is a part of my life now! She's important to me. I hate knowing I'm going to have to give one of you up but I also know that the woman who truly cares about me is the one who would never demand that I choose her."

"So, when are you seeing her again?"

"Tonight. She invited me to the Village for a drink. It's more of a show-up or don't sort of thing. And if I don't then whatever we might have been never will be. She's not going to give me a second chance. And I'm in love with her. I haven't talked to her much the past couple days but we both agreed that showing up tonight meant making a commitment to this being our life. This means taking our relationship public within the lesbian community. I'm scared of claiming my place in the queer community but I'm more scared of losing her and this insane chemistry we have. I think she might be the one. She could become the love of my life. I can see us having a life together as partners. I can see myself giving birth to her babies. I was one and done but I'm starting to think that having a couple more wouldn't be so bad."

"You know that is biologically impossible unless there's something you aren't telling me about her," she hissed, placing way too much emphasis on the last word and getting me to a level of offended I had never been before.

"Maybe I can't carry a baby made from parts of both of us but there are ways to make sure it's as similar to her as possible. And she has eggs."

"Old as hell eggs and shriveled tup, probably diseased ovaries. I hoped you used protection when you went down on that nasty whore's snatch."

"I will not sit here and let you talk about her like that! You have been my best friend for so long but now you are the biggest homophobic, sex-negative human I've ever met," I yelled as I stormed out and pulled my phone out to text Lorna and see if she could pick up Geo and watch him at my apartment tonight because I knew I could no longer count on Polly. Not that I would want to if I could, I knew I didn't I want my child exposed to someone who was so hateful of diversity. I was teaching my son to love everyone and ask respectful questions aimed at understanding when he didn't understand someone or something.

_I thought Polly was taking him tonight?_

_Polly will no longer be spending time with my child_

_Good for you…the things she's said lately are just so offensive…Geo doesn't need that. Spaghetti and meatballs okay?_

_Organic everything and only grass-fed meat…I'll pay you for the meat and anything else I don't have on hand…and nothing but water after seven…I'm trying something…not that it's working_

_Yeah it's too bad you don't know any doctors who would gladly make a house call if you asked them to…you know if you needed a little personal attention for any reason ;-D_

_Oh, I'm sure she would but that's not what we are Snapchatting about until we fall asleep…We haven't talked about him or a timetable for introducing him…Geo doesn't even know about her_

_But she knows about him right?_

_Yeah but she doesn't say much and I'm not willing to push her_

_And? Is she into the idea?_

_I'm pretty sure she is but Alex is a very private person and doesn't show her emotions easily to anyone but me…she's used to having to keep her private life and feelings out of her clinical practice_

_No red flags tho_

_No_

_Then don't worry about it and let things unfold…she's the first one not to turn and run so that's something_

_And she's experienced that pain from the side of the child, so I know she wouldn't risk doing it to Geo_

_Then that's all you need to remember…don't let anybody put doubts into your head…nobody knows Alex like you do…have fun and be safe tonight…text if you can_

_Thanks Lorna…you don't know how much I needed that right now_

_I mean every word of it…I'm rooting for you and Alex and I don't care what anyone else says or does_

I smiled as I put my phone back in my purse. It was good to know at least one friend in my life would always be there for me no questions asked and without any hateful, small-minded comments.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: And here's the contrast to the decaying Piper/Polly friendship...Nicky/Alex and the first steps towards a close Nicky/Piper relationship and some more of Alex's backstory (Especially surrounding Silvia and what she did in this universe) and mixed into the plot there is some very hot workplace/doctor's office smut if any of my lovely readers are looking for suggestions about where not to read this chapter...also coming up in about three chapters is the couple's first trip (to Miami/Key West) so if you have any requests for beach or vacation scenes for this version of Vauseman get your requests in and I'll see what I can do...and the holiday season is coming soon which will create more drama and opportunities for Alex to provide Piper with her unique brand of comfort (Again I still have time to work in a few requests and ideas)**

I got to her office at 6:45 and buzzed the door to her building. I was expecting to see Keely but instead, I was met by my tall, raven-haired lover wrapping her arms around my waist tightly and pulling me into a gentle yet hungry kiss.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I run a psychotherapy practice. I have a camera zoned in on the door that feeds to my office. I was on my way downstairs the second you hit the first step. I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"I need to know what this can be. I'm scared and I've already lost my best friend which means I will probably lose my company too but I'm more scared of looking back and wondering what I could have had with you," I said as I locked lips with her in the doorway of her practice.

"That specifically?"

"Well, I didn't know it then but totally."

"Really? I like this dress."

"I took Polly to lunch to try to get her to understand that this is real and you are good but now I'm certain she's just a homophobic bitch so I took myself to Fifth Avenue for some retail therapy. I salivated over European fashion before reminding myself I can barely afford Macy's but I also know that I can't show up next to you in discount fashion."

"You are so right about that, Pipes, no girl of mine is going to wear designer rejects. When your credit card bill comes, I'm paying for that dress and maybe we need to discuss an allowance."

"And what would I be expected to do?"

"Nothing you don't want to do. I mean your attendance would be expected at fancy dinners and cocktail parties and maybe occasional travel to medical and psychiatry conferences. I'm at the point in my career where I need a woman on my arm if I'm ever going to be accepted into the next level and I would expect you to go to med school and hospital functions. They don't want to promote a player into their ranks. They don't have to say it but I know they have concerns about how my lifestyle reflects on the university. I have the skills, the CV, the professional status but they want a certain image of a power dyke that I've resisted for so long. I love academia but I am at the point in my career where appearances count. It's not enough to be smart or respected. A nearly forty-year-old woman is expected to be married to somebody. Either I find myself a wife or I get kicked out on my ass from a world I love."

"So is this more than just a sexual arrangement? If I agree I won't just be some call girl?"

"Never, Pipes," she answered as I saw a look of seriousness at a level I hadn't yet seen from my new lover as she smoothed her fingers through my hair, "I like having sex with you, I like holding you in my arms. Most of all, though, I fall deeper in love with you with every word you say or type. I want you to have the life you deserve and I can give you that. I want to give you and your son that more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. The past few days have been excruciating. Nobody wants to see Vause when she's ravenous. Normally, I'd take care of that need easily but I don't want slutty little gingers anymore. And I already tried and failed with both my hand and favorite vibrator and even using them simultaneously with my favorite porno tape didn't come close to doing the deed. There's only one woman who can satiate me properly."

"Is that so? Do I know her?"

"You just might, my beautiful sweet princess."

Between her declaration and tender pet name, I felt an overpowering surge of wetness hit my panties without warning and I knew that I needed her now, "Is there somewhere more private we can talk or do other things?"

"Want to come to my office," her hand moved up and cupped my breast then started rubbing my already hard nipple until I slowly pressed my lips against hers. Before I could open my mouth to say yes, I was upstairs in her huge office and she was pushing me onto the couch and she was climbing on top of me while she rubbed her navy blue dress against my deep purple one. I felt myself become unbearably wet as she rode my pussy hard. Was I really going to do this? She started kissing my neck and I craned it to give her more skin to work with as her fingers found my clit, "So do you want this?"

"In your office?"

"Why not? You are my lover and I've missed you, baby, I've missed how your body responds like crazy to even my softest touches. If you don't say no and your kisses say yes then I'm going to assume you want sex. It's pure logic, babe. I don't play games and I don't need to force myself on a chick. I could get any girl I wanted. And I want you more than I've ever wanted anything. Tell me to stop and I will."

"Fuck me."

"Only if we get to make love when we get back to my place tonight. I do have you all night, don't I?"

"Yes. But I'm billing you for the babysitter."

"Well, look at the businesswoman at work, damn, are you always so sexy when you're negotiating?"

"Come find out when I have my meeting with Sephora in a few weeks."

"You are quite the formidable woman, Piper Chapman. But I think I need to remind you whose office you are in right now. This is my life's work."

"And you are so good at it. But you just wait until the tables are turned, Dr. Vause."

"Damn woman," she snapped as she grabbed my bottom lip in her teeth.

"Was that a warning not to ever do that again, especially not here?"

"Try it again."

"The only thing bigger than your brain, Dr. Vause, is your massive boobs. I just want them to smother me as you cover me in kisses."

"Maybe there is a fantasy I haven't heard in this room."

"Too much?"

"I didn't bring you here to discuss sexual paraphilias. But I also won't be going so far as to smother my beautiful young lover."

"Mmm…should I hate myself for getting turned on when you talk psycho nerdy to me?"

"You still haven't done your homework, why can no one ever do their assigned homework when I give it to them? My clients, patients, students and now, evidently, my beautiful lover, too."

"I figured my drop-dead gorgeous teacher would just give me the answer key if I let her see my toned, tanned runner's calves."

"One more word from you and I sit on your face."

"That's a punishment?"

"What am I going to do with you?"

"If you don't know then why did you drag me up here, Dr. Vause?"

"If you'd shut your mouth, I'd show you."

"But not my legs?"

Alex looked down at the current situation between my thighs and smirked, "I'd like to see you try with how swollen and wet you are down there right now."

"And it's all for you, baby. I've had a rough few days, I need my medicine, Dr. Vause."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm good at doling out medication. I kinda do it for a living."

She kissed along my collarbone as she pulled my underwear off and cupped my tender pussy roughly. I felt like I was being fucked by a completely different Alex. This woman on top of me wasn't slow or gentle and didn't ask for verbal confirmation once. I liked this side of her, even if I knew it was the side every girl that she liked enough to take home and fuck got to see. Still, somehow, something about the care she took was special and only for me. I felt her fingers slip inside me as her leg made its way between mine and she worked her tongue deep inside my mouth until my hands found their way to her ass and up her dress and I discovered she was wearing a skimpy lace thong as if she had planned for this to happen. I remembered what she had done on the floor when I was pleasuring her in her other office so I tried to copy a variation of it. I pushed my way inside her tight center with long, forceful thrusts and I felt the vibration of her moan into our kiss as she opened wide to accommodate a third finger buried in her depths. My other hand grabbed a handful of her round ass made firm from a perfect combination of arousal and exertion as every muscle in her body worked towards one goal, my orgasm. The tip of my pinkie rubbed the rim of her other hole and she began to tremble in ecstasy and let lose words I had never heard before. That glorious sound only made me fuck her harder. I rubbed the sensitive flesh between her holes and then she really went crazy and our erect nipples rubbed up against each other through our bras and dresses painfully but I was too close to ask to stop so we could get naked and at least soothe some of the pain. The harder I fucked her the harder she fucked me until cum streamed down her fingers. She pulled her hand out from between my legs and held it up to my face.

"Look what you made me do, you naughty girl. Do you think you can just stick your fingers in me whenever you want? And wherever you want? Do you think you own my ass in addition to the mouth, pussy, and tits I've allowed you to have? That not enough for you? Do you have to own everything you see? That is not how this is gonna go, babe. As much as I'm glad you are coming into your own as the power bottom that I always knew you could be, you step out of line and you accept the consequences of your actions. Now suck. And don't you dare leave a drop behind."

I licked her fingertips as she shoved all four of them into my mouth roughly and then tried to suck them into my mouth but I didn't know how to do what she and I both wanted me to. Alex could tell I was having trouble getting the technique right and figuring out the difference between this and sucking dick so she helped me out a little bit and moved her fingers along my tongue, encouraging me to wrap my tongue between and around her fingers in even motions until she was satisfied.

"That was supposed to discourage me from ever doing that thing again?"

"You like how you taste?"

"Yeah."

"So do I."

"I've been so nervous for so long that I wouldn't like it."

"I've heard that before from plenty of newly realized queer women. I'd say the old if I had a dollar adage but I have a lot of dollars from women saying that just in this office that I don't need anymore. Did you worry about that before you had sex with a guy for the first time?"

"No, but women aren't expected to like it, especially not the first time. You know it's going to hurt until it doesn't. After a while it becomes a game, an easy game but a fun one. Until it isn't and you cease to be an independent person."

"You fantasized about having sex with women. You've ate me out three times already and you are begging for more-"

"I've been curious about more mutually beneficial sexual positions. I like it most when we are pleasuring each other."

"Just say, baby when we get home can we sixty-nine or pull out my laptop and buy a new toy?"

"Could we really do those things," I squealed with gleeful eagerness.

"Uh, believe me, the only reason we haven't done them is I don't want to move to the next level sexually before you are ready for it but you are a quick study so I'm not surprised you are asking for those things already-"

"And you know a thing or two about being a quick study Dr. I didn't attend the first, second, fourth or seventh grades and got an accelerated high school diploma online for gifted kids that went by credits and course areas instead of grades."

"We are birds of a feather, babe. Now if you'll let me finish a thought," she commanded as she ground her pelvis into mine forcefully, "The signs were there that you would like it. And you are pretty damn good."

"For a first-timer," I responded as I tried to hold back from tumbling off the edge again. I had always hated grinding but as with everything else it was completely different with Alex and I would gladly let her do it all night long.

"No, babe, you are plain good. You aren't intimidated by me or my reputation. Nobody has ever tried a stunt like that or what you did at my house the other night. They never consider that maybe I like to be touched too."

"Well of course you do. Sex is a basic human need."

"Yeah, you definitely don't need my therapeutic expertise."

"Guess that's good because I kind of like the way your ass feels."

"I thought you were into tits."

"I am. But damn woman, your ass is fine. Get you some Apple Bottom jeans for that booty. I don't normally care about asses, they are just sorta there but serve no sexual function but yours, God baby."

"And I don't normally let people touch my ass but there isn't a spot on my body I wouldn't let you touch anytime you want. And if you don't think asses have anything to do with penetration than I will ruin you when I get my lesbian cock strapped on."

"Really," I asked with extreme excitement.

"To giving you permission to play with my ass or how I'm gonna pound that pussy to shreds later?"

"Both. Do I get to choose the position?"

"Yeah, babe. All this is yours. I trust you. I feel safe with you. Just please don't let me down. I can't handle any more heartbreak. And as for choosing the position, go for it, you dirty girl. Just be willing to accept the consequences."

"I won't. And my two-year-old I'm raising should give you an idea about my ability to do the last thing."

Before Alex could answer we heard banging on the door, "Vause, open this damn door! And tell me you didn't drag that girl in here!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Nichols!"

"Isn't she co-owner of the practice? Shouldn't she be able to let herself in?"

"Nobody has the key to my office but me. She has every key but the one to the files and my office. I'm the medical director. I can't just let people into my office, there's some extremely sensitive things in here," she stated firmly as she swiped a finger along my swollen, still open inner lips and rubbed my tender clit, "and if they got into the wrong hands it could be devastating. I'm going to let her in then I'll buy us a round at the bar and then we'll go get some dinner."

"And you'll take me back to your place? Do you really have a dildo?"

"A dildo, kid, you must be kidding. I have a whole collection of toys and clothes meant for one very particular purpose. The only question you have to answer is, do you want to ride my pussy or would you rather ride my big dyke dick? How is an open-ended extra credit question."

"You are aware Nicky is listening to everything?"

"And probably taking notes, too. I always tell her, some people are just naturally gifted," Alex kissed me quickly then looked over to the door, "and others aren't," she declared before raising off me. While she reluctantly walked over to the door, I reached for both pairs of our panties and made sure she saw me stuff them into my purse. This action was rewarded with a flirtatious smile before she turned her attention to the woman with unruly hair and an oversized rose-colored twill suit on the other side of the door, "well hello to you too."

"Really, Vause? You lured her up here?"

I quickly came to my lover's defense and declared firmly, "I came here and I wanted to go somewhere more private. She didn't lure me anywhere. I'm old enough to know how sex works. Girls, boys the only real difference is what's between their legs but the brain when it desires another human being sexually is the same."

"This is not the same girl I talked to Friday," Nicky responded as she yielded to my powerful argument and I remembered the nervous girl who had sat across from her wringing her hands instead of making eye contact as she asked questions I had never considered the answers to. She kept trying to reassure me but nothing she did could convince me to open up to her and talk about things the way I had with Alex. She offered some helpful advice and perspective on whatever tiny glimmers I volunteered without any pressure.

"Nichols shut the fuck up! That never happened, okay? There is no paper trail linking Piper Chapman to this clinic and you had better not have any hidden away!"

"How can this be consensual?"

"Because the twenty-eight-year-old woman sitting on my couch says it is. Even if she had never emailed me as a prospective patient you know she would have caught my eye soon enough. There isn't a queer girl in the Village I don't know about. And look at her, you think I wouldn't have pursued her?"

"She's not exactly your type but she does have those doe eyes that make you weak between the knees and wet your pussy. It's, uhm, Piper, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm going to ask you this and then drop the issue. Is this a consensual thing? Has she ever used her position to get into your panties?"

"No," I said even though I knew it wasn't a hundred percent true but I knew I had to protect Alex, her career and the relationship we were building, "I knew she was a doctor and that we were developing feelings for each other. Until Friday night we were too scared to admit it. Things would have been different if we had just said hey, I like you instead of plotting this ruse but neither of us had the confidence. It was risky and we both acknowledge that. We made a mistake and we are trying to move on from it and build a relationship based on equality."

"Yeah, but it happened. This is what you want?"

"Yeah. I'm falling for her. I came here because I chose to. Nobody makes me do anything. I'm not a weak little maiden. I'm a woman in full control of her sexual desires and needs. And I desire every bit of this woman," I told Nicky as I moved my hand down Alex's waist and squeezed her ass, making sure the redhead could see what unprecedented access I had to her body.

"Damn, Vause. Is there anything you won't let that girl do?"

"Now, now, Ms. Nichols, I'm not one of your couple's therapy patients, you don't get to pry into the boundaries that my lover and I have agreed to, especially when it comes to what we do in the bedroom."

"I know you spend more time here than in your actual bedroom but I thought this was your office."

"See what I have to deal with, babe? You sure you want into my crazy life with my wild best friend?"

"It's better than my homophobic bitch of a former bestie."

"Don't ever use that word, you," she paused to kiss me, "are not a straight girl and you will not talk like one."

"Noted, love muffin," I teased as I cupped her breast as best I could.

"If I hadn't heard everything I needed to see, I've sure seen it after that. And I really don't want to add another setting to my list of places where I've seen Vause having sex so I'm going to the lobby, be downstairs in five minutes. And, Vause, you're buying."

"I'm not staying long. I have plans for my night that don't involve throwing back shots all night. I have to work the early am on-call shift at the hospital."

"Yeah, looks like that tongue is really working hard and I forget Vause is an old hag now."

"Am not. I'm a doctor with a beautiful young lover. My status and reputation in the LGBT medical community built this practice. If I keep partying like I was this all goes away and I'm just as much an aging rockstar as my shitty excuse for a father. He may be fine with being a washed-up has-been in Atlantic City but that is not the life for me. I am not losing my millions. I like making nearly a quarter-million dollars per month. I am not going to stop trying to reform how we think about female sensuality and how women express their desires for sex and motherhood. What we are doing here means more than anything to me. Well, except this beautiful princess in my arms. I wouldn't be doing this," she grasped harder, rubbed my side and kissed my cheek then gestured around the room, "If I didn't honestly think I could do this too. This is what we have been dreaming about since we met four years ago and now, Nicks, we are finally doing it. This is our baby and I will not risk it. I will not throw away my gifts like my father did because he wasn't willing to give up the party. I'm not going down that road. I'm not going to wonder what might have been. You know I don't mix work and play, my life is very compartmentalized but I was attracted to her. I liked talking to her. She made me laugh and she listened to me. I'm tired of being told how hot I am like that's all I've got going on. Uhm, hello MENSA member and child genius here. It is possible to have tits, an ass and a brain, rare but I'm not even the most gorgeous certified genius I've seen. I think the only way I was going to find a partner was if the physical and even sexual components were removed."

"Then when Lauren asks, we went for a drink after work and Piper showed up at the bar. We mutually decided days ago not to take Piper on as a patient for reasons we don't have to divulge as the owners of this practice. You haven't spoken to her since before her intake and you got to talking and that talking turned into you inevitably doing other things with that tongue of yours, because, well, Vause, you are you. And I was the one communicating with her as a prospective patient, not you. She has no reason to know any different. You've been pretty hands-off when it comes to recruiting clients anyway, you leave the marketing to me and refuse to hire a professional and I did her intake. And I get it, your heart just hasn't been into it. The Silvia thing, the galimony threat that turned into a revenge porn threat but ultimately thanks to me and your kick-ass legal team you came away from victorious took some of your passion and light and all those things that make you the Alex I love. And if she can breathe some life back into that woman and give you a reason to work hard for your community and dreams then I'll do anything to encourage this. I brought her in and, Piper, you have to convince her of this too. Keely participated in the ruse and she's pretty proud of herself for setting you two up. But Lauren was not a willing participant."

"Unless she wants to choose a new specialty she is. I'm one of the top sex therapists in America and about as big as it gets for therapists researching the psychology of queer women, especially as it relates to motherhood and the myth of lesbian bed death. I can make or break a prospective queer female therapist quicker than you can blink."

"I can be convinced," I teased and Alex responded by rubbing my lower back.

"You will not be the preeminent lesbian sex therapist if she files a complaint about sexual impropriety against your license. You know how quick the sex therapy community will turn on a doctor who crosses the line. So, you didn't buy her dinner and take her home. She was a rejected patient who you had perfectly legitimate mutual feelings for. There have been no lines crossed."

"Deal. And if you do this, I might bring on a marketing consultant on a pro bono basis, if she's willing that is," she said as she looked over at me.

"I see nothing, I hear nothing and you did not just hire your lover to work for our business in exchange for sex. And, Vause, there better not be a next time."

"I'm never going to fuck another woman for as long as I live."

"You better not. That girl on your arm with that just fucked glow is your life now. Slipping a ring on her finger is your life. The pitter-patter of little queer spawn and a home in the suburbs is your life. Or I'll report you myself. You step out and don't think that I don't have evidence to put you in a worse place than Atlantic City."

"I promise Nicks. She's perfect. She's it for me," she turned her attention to me, "Now let's go get a drink. And maybe some Italian."

"What about what I want to eat, baby?"

"You want your pussy to be the only one you taste tonight?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Then we are having Italian with some sweet pussy for dessert. We can try that thing we just discussed if you want. And next time, Pipes, you choose where we eat. I just want to show you the Village I love."

"As long as you are on the menu I don't care. Spoil me, take me to the best places in Manhattan. Just tell me what to wear and where to be. But I'm thinking of steak or a nice farm to table restaurant."

"You got it a farm to table restaurant with amazing steaks and chops. If it exists in the NYC metro area, I will find it."

"Will you two come on before I barf on the floor! And as much as everybody else in this room would love to watch you bent over on the floor with your ass in the air, Blondie, I don't think you want that. Besides, some of us want to get to the bar while the pickings are still somewhat decent for a Wednesday," Nicky added as she turned and I heard the stairs creaking.

"Do I look okay, Al?

"You mean will the whole Village know you just got fucked by Alex Vause? Not from looking at you, sweetness. But they'll know from the look on my face that you are my princess and everybody knows my life revolves around lesbian sex so any girl on my arm is either being fucked or momentarily satiated. You look beautiful. You have a certain glow."

"Yeah cause I won the big prize now, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You won the one thing these bitches didn't think was up for grabs, especially after I broke up with Silvia because she tried so hard to tie me down. She tried to make me someone else. Settling down had to be a choice I made for myself or I would be miserable. I choose you."

"And I choose you. I miss having a best friend already."

"You have me and your secretary, Lorna. You told me she's been so supportive. And, although I don't know why you would want to, you can always borrow mine. She'd probably be a better fit than that bitch anyway. I know people who know people."

"Yeah, I've already turned a similar offer from my Italian secretary down. But thanks. I'll be better off without her, it's just gonna hurt for a while."

"The first person you lose due to your homosexuality is always the hardest. You will get through it and I'll be here, and if you don't want to come to me you can always have an informal chat with the junkie philosopher herself."

"Are you sure you'd be comfortable with me telling Nicky stuff? Would she?"

"We share everything and she was concerned about your anxiety until I explained that you come from a very sexually repressed world and you had a crush on the medical director of Artemis."


	14. Chapter 14

We got to the bar about fifteen minutes later, Alex led me to a table with a ragtag group of thirty-something-year-old lesbians, none of whom were quite as coiffed as her. They all looked me up and down as Alex tightened her grasp around my tiny waist.

"Who's this pretty young thing? You pick another barely legal NYU chick up and decide to play tour guide again? I thought you were done with that game. I thought decided that you actually wanted tenure and a promotion at Langone this time."

"I do Jen. I swear. I met her online. She's an entrepreneur with a degree from Smith."

"She lez?"

"C'mon now, Rene, you know Alex doesn't fuck lezzies. She likes the challenge of the ones who like an actual throbbing cock[LC1] and sweaty, sperm-filled balls. Lezzies are too easy."

"Yeah but she hates the fall when they go back to riding dicks or find a real butch, not Alex's butch in a dress and eyeliner act. How many of your ex-lovers have had someone else's baby, now?"

"Twelve, that I know about."

"We know you aren't including the ones who had a chick's baby cause you know that number isn't twelve. Don't lie or do you not want your new hottie to know how loose your pussy is?"

"You know most of those bitches never got to touch my pussy. I fuck them, maybe fifty have fucked me. And it was plenty tight for her earlier."

"Yeah you probably got work done on your pussy when you claimed you got lipo on your thighs."

"Fifty? Baby?"

"Yeah. I stopped counting a long time ago. It felt too cheap. I've been with probably hundreds of different women. Maybe in the low thousand range."

"You're lucky I really like you and what's done is done. Why stop now? Just be faithful to me."

She pulled me into her lap and flagged down a cocktail waitress like she owned the place, "Margarita, babe?"

"Try an answer."

"Try a question. Try a demand that needs to be spoken. Do you know how many girls I've asked to be my one and only lover?"

"More than I want to know about."

"One. And any bitch in here will tell you the same."

I looked around then over to the only woman in the room I trusted, "Okay, Nicky, is she telling the truth?"

"I wasn't aware the number was a positive integer. And I don't think anyone else was either. Vause doesn't like to kiss and tell, her lovers, however, are a different story. How one woman can find so many loose-lipped women is beyond me."

"Hey, at least I don't steal them like someone else."

"Oh, and if that thief shows up, she's gonna be all over this one."

"Lucky for me my girl likes femmes exclusively. She likes the butch in the streets type, doesn't she?"

Alex kept looking over at me waiting for an answer to which I meekly replied, "I didn't even know there were more than two types."

"Babe, there are too many types and we don't give ours cool nicknames like the boys. Probably because too many of us don't admit butch/femme is a spectrum, not a dichotomy."

"She's got you warming bottles and changing diapers already. This one might be a little too new even for you. And let the kid come to her own conclusions."

"She's unspoiled like I like them. And she's bi so I think she's already made up her mind about spectrums versus dichotomies long before I got to her. At least Boo didn't find her first."

"And if she shows up tonight, she's gonna be kicking herself that she didn't."

"You know I take the little bi girls and she takes the baby dykes. As long as she doesn't step over to my domain and she does likewise we have an understanding. But, now, as far as I'm concerned, she can have them all regardless of where they fall on the queer girl spectrum, I found the best girl in not just the City but the world."

"I don't think we want her fucking the bi girls again. We don't need to run them off again."

"I'll take em. I already have a reputation of being a mix between Vause and Boo."

"I have raised you well, Nick. I nominate her as my successor. The only bi girl I'm gonna be fucking from now to the apocalypse is Piper."

"Not all queer girls are bi though, now are they," I asked in a commanding yet playful tone.

"You got a wild one on your hands, Vause."

"She's gonna keep you on your toes," another one of the girls hollered.

"Yeah and? She's strong-willed. I like fiery women."

"Yeah that's why you go for the gingers."

"Looks like everything about Vause is changing."

"What cause she's not what I usually go for? I didn't care what she looked like when we started chatting. It wasn't about that. This community is too wrapped up in defining everything by type. I'll be the first to admit she's not my type but I'm deeply in love with her and I'm not going to deny myself love because of this community's ridiculous notion of rigidly defined types. I've relied on my brain for so long and where did that get me? So, I figured why not follow my heart even if what it was telling me to do didn't make any fucking sense. And it's working out so well," she leaned in and kissed and then gently sucked my earlobe as she squeezed my stomach tightly. I knew she could feel my shift my thighs in response to her mouth on my ear, "That something you are into, babe," she whispered as she did it again but rougher and with more teeth. I threw my body against hers and craned my neck as I struggled to contain my spilling arousal, "Noted," she added without returning her mouth to my lobe to finish the job.

"Baby, don't stop."

"Did we just hear Vause get propositioned? Did that just happen?"

Alex didn't respond to her friends' comments just pushed her other hand under my dress and found my clit as she kept sucking my earlobe and my breathing grew heavier. I didn't care that we had an audience, this felt too good. I could barely stifle my moans as I grew closer to the edge than she abruptly stopped, "let's finish this elsewhere, somewhere more worthy of a woman as precious as you," she paused then whispered just loud enough for her friends to hear, "my beautiful sweet princess."

"I was looking forward to having a nice dinner out."

"And we will, just with a little more foreplay. Don't worry I'll fuck you until you are screaming that you can't take it anymore and then I'll give you one thrust directly to that special spot and make you explode. Maybe tonight is the night I figure out if you are a squirter, since you seem to be ahead of the curve."

"What's a squirter, Al?"

"I could tell you but it would be much more fun for both of us if I showed you."

"You still want Italian?"

"Yeah."

"Well let's go. There's nothing I want or need here."

She let me off her lap and then got up and gave Nicky a commanding glare as she took my hand.

"Hey, Vause are you really gonna leave that behind," Nicky asked as she pointed at the lonely amber colored liquid in a high ball glass surrounded by dirty glasses scattered around the table.

"You want it, go ahead."

"We are never gonna see her in here again are we," one of Alex's friends asked as we headed towards the door.

"Nope. All the good ones are getting married or taking T. Welcome to the next era of lesbianism," Nicky answered, "we're the holdouts. The survivors of the apocalypse."

"Melodramatic much," she asked before stopping her tracks as an overweight tattooed butch white woman with dark, extremely short dark walked in with a skinny African American butch with a closely shaven head, a huge smile and gorgeous, huge dark eyes.

"Yeah see that's why I'm not being overly dramatic," Nicky hollered as she saw what Alex did. The overweight woman looked me up and down as if I was on display and I knew what she was thinking. I'd seen that look from enough guys and it wasn't going to work much better for her than it had for them. I had a pretty good idea who she was but she had no idea I was spoken for or, more importantly, by whom. Alex saw her behavior but she was torn, ultimately, she left me to fend for myself. I wondered if she was testing me or if she really had that much faith in my abilities.

"Hey, beautiful. When did you fall from heaven?"

"Seriously, that's the best you can do?"

"That one's got a mouth, Boo. Nobody needs that. Vause wouldn't even take this one."

"Shut up, Poussey. I'd like to hear her try her smart mouth comments with my dick in her mouth."

"Not in a million years, bitch. If I wanted a man, I'd get one. With model good looks and a ripped body. I like my girls to look like girls."

"How would you know? You ever had a real butch between your thighs? I know how to fuck you like women want."

"You might know how to fuck me like my ex-boyfriend and you might have a bigger cock but sex isn't a one-way street, baby. I don't want to get fucked by some ugly, old bull dyke who won't let me eat her pussy and I doubt you'd eat mine let alone let me eat yours. I'm really not interested in playing a heteronormative game of house with you."

"You are obviously new so you probably don't know how things work around this place. I run this place, not this bar, the whole Village. Nobody does anything without my say so. Well, there's one bitch powerful enough not to be forced to grovel at my feet and her ex who I got other plans for. I know people who could make you wish you'd just taken my cock like a good little girl."

I knew every bit of what she was implying but I couldn't believe a woman was threatening something so vile. Was it a real threat or was she just trying to seem intimidating?

"Just let her go and let's have our meeting. You are trying to move up in the world but I don't work with street thugs," Poussey whispered.

"If I allow some new chick to overpower me, I won't have a market to sell to. Who do you think you are, little girl? You look like you came out yesterday. From your mom's vagina. Are you even an out dyke?"

"Does it really matter? I have a hot lesbian lover who gives me the best orgasms of my life. I don't know what to call it and she doesn't care. Labels are for closets, not the world. I walk down the street not just holding her hand but kissing her and showing more affection than is probably legal in public. I know people are going to call me a lesbian and I'm not going to stop them like it's some undesirable identity."

"Hope you don't think she can spare you. There's only one chick I won't dare take on."

"Yeah me," Alex came up behind me and kissed my ear then whispered, "a little birdy told me this uneducated, low-class fifties relic was bullying my girl."

"I had it handled, Al."

"Yeah, I heard that too, babe, and it was so totally hot. I know you were fine and didn't need to be rescued but you know I can't handle bullying. How have you been Boo? I see you finally found a supplier. Poussey, why are you going into business with this common street thug? I'm surprised she's not doing real-time yet. Of course, you probably don't care, Boo. You'd just be running your same games from the inside. At least you'd be the closest thing in there to a man. But you know, they won't let you take your dick to prison."

"You say that like you've ever been inside. You aren't resourceful enough to survive a night in county let alone state. And I'll find a way to give them that one thing all women eventually want. Even if you won't admit it. But I'm not going to discuss missed opportunities with virgin ears nearby. Aren't you going to introduce me to your latest plaything?"

"It sounds like you've already met. And you say that again I will beat your ass and we all know the difference between you and me is I fight my own battles. I don't need hired muscle like your fat ass. I actually box, you've never thrown a punch in or out of a gym."

"You'll quickly get bored with this one too."

"No, I won't. Piper here is my one and only, my lover and you just watch one of these days she's going to be my wife. Aren't you baby?"

"Yes. And if she was gonna get bored she would have by now."

"How long has this been going on? Been keeping a sex slave, have we?"

"I know consensual relationships are a foreign concept to you so I'll forgive you this once but next time you say anything about my girl you'll be bleeding. You know I don't have time for girls who don't want me. I'm a psychiatrist not a criminal, I understand consent in every way possible. Anyway, I have enough chicks foaming at the mouth for me to fuck them. They come to me, unlike you and that bitch who have to go trolling the bars for them. But you can have all the girls you want. I want to give this amazing woman I've found every bit of my time and attention. Come on babe, this isn't a place for grownups."

"Nicky will be coming home to me before the weekend is up," Boo threatened as Alex took my hand and led me out of the bar.

Not my problem anymore."

"One last piece of advice, Vause, get a muzzle and shock collar for that little bitch of yours."

Alex said nothing until we left the bar and I turned to her, "why didn't you say anything about the control your bitch comment Boo made?"

"She was looking for a fight any way she could get it. I wasn't going to dignify her with a response. I know you don't need abusive control. She's just mad she got outplayed by a young queer girl. Just like she was mad when she met what she thought was a twenty-four year old new in town femme and ended up getting a knee to the gut in the bathroom."

"Let me guess, you were the young femme appearing lesbian?"

"Yup. And that's not even the last or worst time I kicked her ass. She's not going to tell anyone and every single time was self-defense. After a few times, it got out that there was this chick who was challenging Boo's dominance. I could have gone bad and for the last thirteen years, I've lived a double life. But the thing about a double life is ultimately you come to a crossroads and have to commit to one or the other."

"I've spent the last ten living a double life. Luckily, we both got to that point at the same time and made a choice that created an opening for this. So how does a well-educated doctor and academic get wrapped up in the Manhattan underworld?"

"Siren song of shitty genes. I come from working-class white trash. The sort of people that came to this country in steerage with only the tattered clothes on their backs escaping famine lured by factory jobs and indentured servitude. They came to Boston and ended up in central Massachusetts because there was less competition for scant resources. They learned to work in the mills and once those went away they stayed and did whatever dead-end job they could find. My family had been in this country a hundred years before a woman learned to read and write at even a basic level. I'm still the only person in my family, of either sex, who has taken any math course more advanced than basic algebra and geometry. I remember nights when my mom would come home from a closing shift and I'd be working on linear algebra or calculus problems for fun, oh and this happened regularly from around age twelve. People in my family don't go to school a day longer than the law requires. Unfortunately, I haven't exactly inspired any of the younger generations to get more than a basic vocational education. Not for lack of trying, though. The women all still have a strong draw towards alcoholics and addicts and the men have drinking and gambling problems. My mom dropped me off in Cambridge at fourteen even though all my family and her friends told her not to. She told me 'baby girl, you have a chance nobody else has ever gotten. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't elite academic material. I did the best I could and I know I made mistakes. But I know this isn't one. You take on the world and know whatever you do, your momma is so proud of you. Just don't squander this chance. It's past time for somebody to finally make it out and you are the first person with the smarts and the opportunity. Go become a scientist, read books I'll never understand and learn how to talk and act like an academic. Come visit whenever you want but never come back for good.' She wouldn't be proud if she knew what I've spent my nights doing or about any part of the Silvia debacle. I've never brought a girl home because I've never had a real girlfriend who I had actual feelings for and who I had thoughts of something long term with. Now you, my dear, my mom would definitely approve of."

"If mine can look beyond you not looking like the firmly entrenched member of the Ivy League elite that you are I know they'll like you too."

"I know how to cover tattoos and tone down my makeup for long enough for people to see the real me. Your parents aren't going to want to like me but they'll be like a thousand WASPs that came before and realize I'm a poised and intelligent lady. Just the kind that will kick your ass in heels and a dress with freshly manicured nails but they don't need to know that. Do you know how much money I make NYU? I know they make more money from me than I make from them. Which means they need me more, not that I'll deny being able to tout my connection to them doesn't give me extra legitimacy in certain circles. I'm damn good at being persuasive and knowing what to say and how to say it when it serves me. They rely on me to get the hard money cause they know I'll deliver. I know how to talk to rich people and make them forget every concern they could ever have. I'm sure half of them probably think I was born into their world. But what they don't get is that the opposite is true. I'm good at it because I had to learn how to exist in their culture."

"When it comes to charming my parents, I'm sure it won't hurt that you treat me like a princess, either."

"What else am I supposed to fucking treat you like?"

I felt my stomach flip as my brain searched for an adequate response as the most amazing human being led me hand in hand down the street and I knew for sure I'd follow her anywhere.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: This is a smutty little fun chapter and the first that I have completely added to the story's older version...I was feeling a little writer's block today so it took way longer to write this than it should have and I'm not sure how good it is...but we are getting closer to a very tumultuous Thanksgiving week for our beloved Vauseman. Hi new readers, glad so many people seem to be enjoying my story, it motivates me to keep writing past the roadblocks, so thanks all.**

We walked hand in hand a couple of blocks, leaving behind the drama and all the other crap from the bar, until we got to an intimate, high-end restaurant with brick walls inside and out and simple, modern black and white accents a little further up Christopher Street. Alex walked in like she owned the place and she was treated like she did too.

"So great to have you dine with us this evening, Dr. Vause," a dark-haired, tall guy who looked slightly younger than me and flamboyantly gay told her with a smile in his voice as he grabbed a menu and began to lead her to a table for one in the back.

"Great to see you too, Jeremy as much as I love the red carpet treatment I receive here, aren't you forgetting something?"

I saw him look at his hands and then up to Alex with a confused expression. She smirked and loosened her grip on my hand and pulled me against the curve of her body until I was certain I could inhabit her body if she held me any closer.

"No way! You have a date, Vause," he declared loudly in a less formal tone and I could tell the two had a friendship when they saw each other out in the gayborhood.

"Not just a date, a committed lover. It's our second date. We spent last weekend together, I'm in love and Jer it's the most amazing high I've ever felt!"

"You planning on wifing this one up?"

"Oh, I have plenty of plans for this one."

"Is this something you want to be spread around the 'hood?"

"I just walked hand in hand down Christopher Street with her after emerging from a gay bar, the word is out. Vause is spoken for."

"You look very happy with her."

"I am. But my poor girl has had a rough day so I'm trying to make her feel better."

"I'll bet she'll be forgetting her name in no time, much less feeling better."

"First or last," I retorted.

"You are definitely Dr. Vause's match. Please hire me to be the head waiter at your nuptials, pretty please Vause."

"You know I hate," she grabbed my ear lobe in her teeth momentarily to signal not to listen to what she was about to say, "begging. But I would suggest keeping your schedule for next fall/winter open if things keep going the way they have been so far."

"I will. Our private dining room isn't booked tonight, that seems like a more appropriate spot for our best customer. I'll have to tell the boss and the chef of course but he'll probably insist on sending you the tasting menu he is working on for Friday night."

"You know I love when he does that. It's why I only come here mid-week."

"That and you like a quiet restaurant and an even quieter meal. Looks like that's about to change soon. You know the restaurants you frequent don't have kid's menus, don't you? Whatever will you do?"

"Like the places I frequent wouldn't make the cheese and carbs combo of my spawn's choice."

"You have a point," he answered as he pulled out a chair and waited for Alex to decide which lady got to sit first, of course, she chose me with a wink and a smile. We spent the next hour and a half flirting and playing footsie through a four-course Italian dinner of calamari, squash soup and a wedge salad, seafood linguine and scallops with braised lamb shanks. We drank through two bottles of wine and a Manhattan Jeremy instantly brought for her and a cosmo she ordered for me while we waited for our appetizers.

"You ready to go home?"

"Hopefully I'm not in a food coma by the time we get there."

"I'll make you a White Russian when we get home, it'll perk you right up."

"You know what'll perk me right up, Vause?"

"What," Alex asked with a smirk that told me she already had a pretty good idea what I was referring to.

"Seeing your perky tits and seeing if my mouth can take in more of those perfect pillows than I could a few days ago."

Alex smirked and plunged one of her hands inside the neckline of her dress and started biting her lip as she rubbed hard, her thumb toying with her nipple and I just sat back and admired the master at work.

"Nice, Vause get those tits nice and ready for me."

"Not the only thing that's getting revved up."

"Well, let's get you home so we can make love. I want you completely at my mercy with your juicy ass in my face while you pleasure my pussy. The more you pleasure mine, the harder I pleasure you in that one spot that I've been wanting to lick while I have your tight cunt stretched wide and riding my fingers as I push against your attempts to take control. Just think how much those nerves will be tingling."

"Damn, your learning curve is impressive, kid. Already so comfortable discussing your sexual fantasies. I need to shower first and then you can play with my perineum."

"That's what it's called?"

"Damn, and you had a kid vaginally. And this is why so many women have had theirs unnecessarily cut into."

"Oh, well I'm sure I'll have better obstetrical care soon."

"Maybe now would be a good time to tell you I'm an obstetrician."

"Like for real or is this that trashy joke guys think is so hilarious cause I thought you were a psychiatrist?"

"I am. I have two licenses, NYU wanted so bad to make sure Harvard didn't get me for residency they agreed to let me do a dual residency in psychiatry and obstetrics, spent an extra year and a half in residency. That's why the ER loves me so much. I can stabilize mentally unbalanced patients and handle complicated deliveries. So when I say I know everything there is to know about women it's not an understatement."

"Damn, that's hot."

"Yes and lucky for you, I plan to use all my talents with women on your sexy body for the foreseeable future."

I couldn't hold back my need to throw my head back and moan at her sexy, smart, sassy come on line.

"Let's get you to my bed, you look all wet. I'd hate for you to get a rash."

"That would be horrible. Can we call an Uber, I really want to get back to your place as quickly as possible."

"Babe, it's two minutes away."

"Damn, every time I think I couldn't fall any more in love with you than I already have you say things like that."

"And tell you I'm a pussy doctor?"

"My pussy is feeling achy and runny right now, I think she's coming down with something."

"I think I know exactly what she needs."

Alex got up and pulled my chair out and helped me up as she grabbed our purses and handed me hers and took mine with her trademark smirk and I knew this was her subtle way of telling me and only me that I had all her power right now.

Alex and I made out the whole way home and when the elevator dinged she slammed me against the nearest wall and shoved her fingers up my dress and inside me with no warning. She stifled a scream with her tongue in my mouth as my center stretched around the surprising but much-desired intrusion as my hands dug into her ass and I rode out an orgasm that had been waiting for its opportunity for release.

"Let's get inside. I want to do things to that ass."

"You have the key, babe."

"Oh yeah, I do," I fished around her purse on my shoulder and pulled out her keys, "Are you going to tell me which one?"

"The third gold one," Alex watched as I quickly found the key and unlocked the door then slammed it behind us as my dress hit the floor before I even knew it.

"I thought you wanted to take a shower."

"I do, I want you as wet and open as possible for what I'm going to do to you. But you have to cum fast because I still have to get a few hours of sleep before I have to go to the hospital."

"That is all up to you, baby. Shall we get you out of this dress? It doesn't look very comfortable and it's keeping me from sucking your tits," I teased as I sucked her more swollen left nipple through her dress as my fingers massaged her clit until there was a wet spot on the fabric and her sturdy, long legs could barely keep her up but I stopped short of letting her cum, knowing I didn't want to waste a drop of that amazing nectar by letting it fall anywhere but right into my mouth, "Let's go get clean, so we can get dirty."

"Good one, Pipes. You are worthy of everything you are about to get, and I'm not just talking about tonight."

"Yeah put it on a greeting card and get your sexy ass in the shower so I can play with it."

Seconds later we were in the shower, soaping each other up as quick as we could without stopping to admire each other's bodies. Unlike the showers we took over the weekend, there was nothing tender or loving about the energy in her charcoal grey tiled shower with its three-sided glass enclosure. The energy was raw and frantic, the only areas Alex made sure were cleaned well were our pussies and asses, the cleanliness of the rest of our bodies was inconsequential. They didn't even bother to dry off before Alex guided me to the bed and laid me down on my back. She looked at me, spread out before her with my hands clasped over my head, blonde curls floating across her pillow that smelled strongly of coconut and tropical flowers, it was the most intoxicating smell I had ever known. She watched as I nibbled at my lower lip in anticipation of being ravished and arched my back to get my breasts and pussy some much-needed attention.

"My, my aren't you just ready and willing? You are on the verge of coming completely undone, aren't you baby," she pushed my outer lips open and ran her finger along my slick outer folds, avoiding both my clit and opening as I pivoted my hips in an attempt to force her to touch what I wanted instead of what she did. Of course, nobody overpowered this version of Alex Vause, "Look at you trying to control me. How adorable," she cooed as she pushed my pelvis down into the bed hard with her other hand as my core tightened and heaved from the anticipation of all the things I knew only Alex could do to me, "You look thirsty. And hungry. What for, my beautiful princess?"

I looked at her arousal swollen pussy now riding my pubic bone as I felt a pool of sweat and juices melding together as she made me watch her pleasure herself. She started roughly massaging her tits until I couldn't take it anymore and managed to pull her down on top of me and start working my tongue into her mouth as she kept rubbing against my pelvis and her nipples as close to mine as she could get them. She started breathing frantically into the kiss and I knew she was close to finally exploding and letting go of her control of her body. I could tell she couldn't hold back the tide threatening to spill over much longer so I broke the kiss and slapped her ass hard to bring her back to earth momentarily. Once I had her attention, I squeezed the curve of her ass where it met her legs hard then tapped her ass to remind her of the activities we had been alluding to all night and had agreed to perform.

"I love a woman who knows what she wants. A woman who respects that I'm an extremely accomplished, busy woman with no time for games."

"Did I just hear you say you love me?"

"If all my blood weren't pooled on the other end of my body, I could give you the psychological/neuroscience perspective on the senses and how our brain receives and processes information. But I think your inner sapiosexual is currently napping so," I forced her thought to trail off into oblivion by digging my nails into the soft round of her ass then letting my hands fall to my side as she raised off me and hooked her legs on the headboard, giving me a view from her pussy to her breasts as she held herself up with pure core strength.

"Well, if I didn't already have a suspicion about your insane fitness level now I know for sure."

"What, never had anyone do a plank over your body?"

"That's a fantasy I didn't know I had. How do you find the time to work out enough to be able to do that?"

"I make time for things that are important to me. Like working out. And eating my beautiful young lover's pussy," she teased as she lowered her body on top of mine and started licking and fingering my clit as I held her tight, round ass in my hand as her glutes flexed from my motions with my tongue between her legs until she came all over my mouth and I followed closely behind. As I was coming down from my high, I sensed Alex was rustling under the bed like she was looking for something then the noises stopped and seconds later I felt a somewhat familiar but unexpected intrusion inside my tight center and my nerves still buzzing from the haze of orgasmic bliss while her tongue teased my tender nub. The toy she had inserted inside me was bigger than I was slightly bigger than I was used to but the girth felt amazing as my sensitive muscles stretched to accommodate the dildo she was thrusting rapidly inside me as I felt another orgasm rip through my sore, tense body and overtake me. I dug my nails into her lower back as she left the toy in one spot and let my pussy envelop it how it wished as she fingered me while planting kisses on my thighs and belly and buried her nose in my pubic hair that was a little more overgrown than usual but Alex seemed to be into it. My hand found the toy and moved it around gently to ride out my high until it was too much and I pulled it out of me slowly but without much grace. For the first time, I saw the seven inch long, one and a half-inch wide purple dildo that was glistening from my cum beginning to dry on it. Alex kissed my inner thigh one last time as she lowered her legs and rolled off me and looked at me admiring our combined handiwork.

"Don't you dare stick that in my mouth. I like to get it from the source. I don't mind having one inside me but I've worked my ass off to get to a place in my life where I don't have to give blow jobs anymore to survive so I don't. Did you like my latest purchase? I bought him for you."

"He was longer than I was used to but the girth felt amazing."

"Was it pleasurable?"

"Yes. It was different though. Like my body knew what to do but there were still those moments where I was like wait this doesn't feel or act right."

"Like when it didn't ejaculate inside your tight pussy and spread its seed through your body?"

"Yeah. And it was harder and smoother."

"There are more realistic ones, this one is just really good for beginners who are figuring out what they like."

"Right now I'd like some tea and to find a show to start watching together on Netflix and cuddle in bed while we watch the pilot before falling asleep in your arms."

"You got it, babe. Chamomile? Lavender, I have one with honey and another without. Or I have the most amazing jasmine green tea. I add a little vanilla almond milk and that's my wind-down bedtime tea."

"Since I like experiencing your world, I'll go for your bedtime tea latte."

"You got it, babe. Pick a show you've been wanting to watch and I'll be right back," Alex climbed off the bed and fished around her drawers until she found an oversized long sleeved grey t-shirt and black boxers that I couldn't tell if they were made for women or men but would soon learn were made for neither and both all at once. Then she threw the softest black, worn t-shirt I had ever felt in my direction and a pair of panties that somehow were new and in my size, a slow realization that was met with a sexy smirk and commanding glare telling me not to press the issue. We slowly fell asleep over the next hour and a half and the next morning I found myself alone in a quiet apartment with a tumbler of coffee and a banana on the bedside table with a note in between the two objects.

_Hey baby,_

_Had to go to work…didn't want to wake you. Stay as late as you want and help yourself to whatever you need or want. Feel free to use my office to get some work done, I left my computer password under the monitor. We on for this weekend? I was thinking we could go to Central Park or the beach since it's still barely warm enough. Maybe take in an art museum or gallery opening. Call me when you get this. Thanks for showing up yesterday, I've gotten pretty used to falling asleep in your presence and I really like it. _

She signed the letter with a quickly drawn single line heart and the capital letters AV. I smiled as I felt the cooling spot on the bed where she had slept and wrapped my other hand around the still warm comforter then smiled at the view of Manhattan from her window.


	16. Chapter 16

Fall turned to winter relatively quickly that year. I saw Alex around three times a week, sometimes for only a few minutes but I treasured every second she had to give and she did the same. The weekend before Thanksgiving I dropped Geo off with the old lady up the street and told her if he got to be too much then she could call Lorna to come and give her a break. Larry was supposed to take him but he had taken to last minute cancellations a lot lately. Luckily, Lorna and Ms. Mills were always willing to take Geo, especially since the elderly woman never saw her own three grandchildren so she loved spending time with him and any opportunity to help. I liked that she never charged me a dime nor accepted one when offered for babysitting my wild child. She truly loved him as her own and he called her Nan, so I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. He, of course, missed Aunt Polly but I hadn't yet found the words to tell him why he no longer saw her and Mommy worked mostly from home now.

I showed up at Alex's office at three in the afternoon on Friday like she had asked me to. Alex hadn't told me much about what she had planned just asked me if someone could take care of Geo for a couple of extra days so we could have a much needed short getaway from the City. I typed in the code to enter her building and nodded at Keely and her other therapist, Jamila, who was waiting for a final client to arrive.

"Hi, Piper," they hollered as I ran past without acknowledging either of them, which made them both shake their heads. They were used to this by now, I blew into Artemis with one thing on my mind every time. I got away with it because they knew Alex kept a constant eye on the security camera when she was expecting me so she was timing me, they knew it. They all knew that anyone who kept their boss from her princess would have hell to pay and that all it took for me to say I don't like her for any of them to be gone immediately. I unlocked Alex's office with the key she had recently made for me and saw my gorgeous lover with a chapter for her latest book up, a stack of articles and books and an equally tall stack of charts. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she had on a loose black sweater and those black secretary glasses firmly settled on her face as the vertical line down her forehead showed in all its glory. I could have stood there for hours watching her hard at work but those full red lips were drawing me in like a moth to a flame. I walked over without a word, steadied my hand on her plush black leather throne of an office chair, then planted light sweet kisses from her temple to her ear and down her jaw. When she finally became aware of my presence and turned her head I pressed my lips to hers passionately before letting go of her lip as I caught her lower lip in my mind right as it was close to popping out of my mouth.

"Well, hello to you too, babe. The kiddo get off okay," she asked when our lips finally unlatched.

"Yeah. I don't know how much longer I can keep you a secret. He wanted to know where mommy was going. He still asks what happened on Halloween when we went to that diner for coffee and chili fries and ended up throwing sugar packets at each other and laughing for two hours in the middle of the night while Ms. Mills stayed at the apartment with a toddler on a sugar high. I got home and he stirred as I passed him and said I smelled different. He said, 'you smell really pretty mommy.'"

"Yeah, that night happened because you were having a breakdown over him saying he wished he had a daddy like the other daddies. And you cried to me because you knew that you couldn't ever give him one because your soulmate happens to be a woman."

"And what a woman you are," I teased as I invited myself into her lap and slipped my hand inside her black suit jacket and massaged her tit through her crisp, off white button-down shirt.

"Damn, babe, that feels so good but back to the kiddo and how he's doing."

"I've been teaching him more about how all families have something that makes them unique. And I think you're right, all he cares about is that he has a stable family with two loving parents that do fun things together and unconditionally support him and each other, not what it looks like."

"When will you learn I'm always right? Geez, woman!"

"I know you're kidding, baby. Or at least you fucking better be, I mean, I'm sure our hotel suite will have a couch and you know how hotel couches are and how thin the walls are when your girlfriend is masturbating in the other room. I told him I was going on a business trip. I keep lying to him and it doesn't feel good."

"Then tell him the truth. We've been together for almost two months and known each other for nearly five. This is real. I'm deeply in love with you. I want to be with you forever."

"You always say how in love you are and that's obvious. We're happy and in love but I have a son. In love is not enough anymore."

"You want the words I never thought I'd say."

"Can you say you don't feel them?"

"You know I do. Everything I do is for you. When I was building this," she paused and looked around the room at the business and research that she loved so much, despite how stressful and exhausting it made her life, "I didn't know it was to give you the world."

"What are you afraid of, Al?"

"Not being in control. Not being worthy of someone as sweet and pure as you. Someone so unspoiled. That you won't say it back."

"You'll never know if you stay in your safe cocoon because you are too afraid to trust, to risk emotional pain. Nobody is going to hurt you ever again, baby. You won't know how I'll respond until you take that leap."

"I love you, Piper Elizabeth Chapman. I love you with all my heart and soul. I never let myself love. Sex was just sex until I did it with you. Sex didn't require love but now I never want to have it any other way ever again. I want to build a life with you and the kiddo," she said sweetly as she rubbed my belly just below my navel and I knew she was suggesting a desire she was too scared to seriously voice but that we both felt a strong desire for, "I don't want to call you my lover, I want to call you my girlfriend and have the world know that I'm courting you."

"I love you too. I want a life with you, I want us to be a family. You, me, Geo and maybe one day we can make one together."

"If we could make one together, we would have by now."

"You know what I mean, Alex. Don't be a smart ass. You are already on thin ice right now."

"I do and that's all I'm saying. And I just said I loved you and wanted to take things to the next level."

"One day you'll tell me what you're keeping from me. But I know you are better at encouraging others to talk about their feelings than you are at talking about your own. And that you try so hard to protect me from everything bad in the world and the pain that having you in my life inevitably will cause. I know you will tell me when you are ready and feel I'm ready. I love you too, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause. Are we girlfriends, now?"

"Yes, you idiot. Now can we catch our plane already, babe?"

"Definitely, my sexy, accomplished girlfriend. I don't know which of us needs a break more."

"My classes have been brutal, I've got so many deadlines for too many projects and amid the hardest fall semester of my career I have my first real relationship and it's with a newly out single mom. I have a full plate right now but I'm happier than I've ever been."

"You just need a reminder of that fact. I'm confident in how you feel about me and that you counting me among your major stressors isn't meant as you saying you don't want to be with me. We are both figuring something new out amidst already chaotic lives and when we come together it provides a momentary respite from the insanity."

As my assessment of our current situation sunk in, she smiled then lovingly pulled me close and kissed my temple, "which one of us is the therapist, again?"

"I've picked up a thing or two from spending all my spare time around a certain world-renowned sex doctor."

"I like it, kid. Vacation time?"

"Let's get out of here. I think you've done enough work for one day."

She spun me until my body was pressed hard against hers and thrust her pelvis into mine powerfully, knowing that I would get the symbolic suggestion of that motion but just in case I didn't, she pulled me by my belt loop and rubbed the top edge of the waistband of my jeans and running her finger along the bumps and grooves of the button on my fly, "Really? Cause I think my most important work for the day is yet to be done," she said in a deep, commanding tone full of raw sexuality. My mind began to race as I wondered if she had something in her suitcase to make her gesture slightly less suggestive. My core clenched and I felt my pussy tighten as I imagined her overtaking me with her arousal hardened body and an erect implement between her muscular thighs that exposed feelings her biological anatomy couldn't and myself digging my nails into her body as my pleasure consumed me so much I momentarily no longer had the strength to seek the soft, feminine parts of her.

"You had better have packed more than clothes in your suitcase, baby."

"Oh, don't you worry, Pipes. I was put on this earth to ensure women's sexual satisfaction, especially yours," she teased before kissing my nose then lips as I pivoted my hips and ground into her, pouting more audibly than intended when what I hungered for most wasn't there to greet me.

Alex smoothed my hair with one hand as she rubbed the other along my side in slow, soothing motions, "Don't you worry, babe, I have the perfect hose to quench the fire burning between your creamy, soft, toned loins and I plan on spending the next few hours making sure your cunt is ready to take every inch and stretch around its girth. I got a big boy who wants to come out and play later. He's a fresh out of the box bucking bronco ready to tear your sweet little tight pussy to shreds. I'm going to make sure every cell and nerve in your body never again forgets how deep the things I feel for you are," with that I released my grip on her body and I felt her take my hand as she grabbed her work bag, purse and hiked them up to her shoulder then curled her fingers around her expensive hard-shelled red suitcase and lead me out of Artemis with a stop to grab my own simple black cloth suitcase in the lobby.


	17. Chapter 17

We got to La Guardia forty-five minutes later and Alex got our boarding passes, two first-class tickets to Miami. We grabbed some sandwiches and Dunkin' Donuts coffee from the food court before we headed to our gate with half an hour to spare.

"You could have told me to bring a bikini."

"Then you wouldn't be forced to wear the skimpy little red thing or the cute little green and white polka dot ruffly high waisted bikini I bought you."

"And what are you going to wear?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"What's next, actual lingerie?"

"Is that something you'd want me to do?"

"I've never had anyone ask. I didn't think what I wanted mattered."

"Of course, it does, Pipes."

"I'm into you in a corset or sexy black silk. And I like to feel pretty like every other woman. I don't have much to show off like you do. And I've been told that lingerie is for whores and mistresses for as long as I can remember. Shit, that came out wrong. I didn't mean you were because you love wearing it, it's just that I'll never be half the woman you are. You are this tall, curvy goddess and I'm just this tomboyish, flat-chested girl who gave birth and still managed to not develop a sturdy, curvy womanly body."

"You have plenty," she responded as she undressed my chest area with her eyes and subtly licked her lips, "Don't compare yourself to any other woman on the planet. You are perfect. I for one think you would look hot in a dark purple negligee. Black bra with a touch of hot pink. I'm very attracted to your body. Those strong thighs, that tight core as it tenses from excitement and anticipation as my fingers pump away inside you. Your body was designed to withstand something, that's for damn sure. You are a sturdy, no, a strong woman and I like that. You don't have to be into what you were given. You like mine, I like yours that's all that matters. You are all woman babe and all I need. And maybe the next baby, especially since you are now at a more suitable age for childbearing, will convince it to develop the body you want and make sure everyone who looks at you says that's a woman whose body has nurtured and brought forth life."

"Did you have to say that in the middle of an airport?"

"That first-class plane ticket in your hand is courtesy of me being completely comfortable talking about sex, fertility and women's bodies in any environment. You have the desire to look fertile and maternal like most women in your age range. It's a natural animalistic desire when a sexually mature adult female of a species desires a mate. I don't care. I get paid just under three million a year to talk about women and sex and listen to people talk about it. American society would be better off if we talked about sex openly and if we discussed motherhood and fertility realistically instead of telling so many lies, both bad and good, or that some things shouldn't be discussed openly. We wouldn't have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world or an over fifty percent divorce rate if we weren't so Puritanical about sex. We wouldn't have grown women playing with dolls like they were children if we discussed mental health issues in women that prevent them from having healthy sexual relationships and grieving their losses. Everybody wants to play with the latest baby born in a family and hear every gory detail related to the function of its digestive system but nobody wants to hear about the soreness and side effects from your year and counting of hormone shots and egg retrievals."

The way her passionate argument was overtaken by the shadow of a pained expression made me wonder if she was speaking from personal experience with her final example. But I knew better than to push Alex because I had already observed her tendency to bite then run when she was made to feel insecure and once she retreated into her world there was nothing anyone could do to coax her out of it. So instead I agreed with her, "You have a point. I'm still getting used to sex not being something shameful or that you do to keep a man. Having sex purely for pleasure is still so new to me."

"And having unprotected sex without fearing the typical consequences?"

"Weird but feels so good."

"We get on this plane I'll make you feel good. The best part of late flights is the flight attendants could care less about what the passengers do, especially the first-class ones. They aren't exactly roaming the aisles. They figure it's mostly businessmen sleeping so they can enjoy their golf weekend after a long week."

"I've never, I don't know. In public," I stammered.

"Got you all tongue-tied? Can't have that," Alex gave me a look that sent a wave of heat through my body that was so strong it had the opposite effect by making me shiver and tying my stomach in knots.

"No, we most certainly can't, sweets."

About an hour later we were comfortably in the air sipping the last drops from a glass of champagne when Alex grabbed a blanket and put it over our laps as she kissed my cheek and I turned my head to lock my lips with hers. She unbuttoned my jeans and pulled the zipper down partway without looking and trailed two fingers down my underwear and rubbed the soft skin over my pubic bone, getting closer to my clit with each swipe. I opened my legs as wide as I could to give her more to work with as I became wet.

"You haven't even touched me yet."

"Well then what am I doing right now?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"Okay then, Vause, if that's how you wanna play this than so be it," I responded knowing I was playing right into her skilled hands but as she liked to tell me ever since the night she revealed to me that she was an expert card shark who loved the thrill of high stakes poker more than any drug, 'the house always wins.' But I also knew I always ended up the ultimate victor every time I let her win so I grinned sheepishly with eyes somehow full of both fire and innocence and whispered in her ear, "I'm so turned on and you haven't even touched my clit yet. You haven't sucked my earlobe and kissed down my neck. And I'm drenched and so open. I don't think I brought enough panties on this trip."

"How terrible. Guess your rich girlfriend will have to buy you some. The kind that don't come from Victoria Secret or God forbid Target."

"Guess I know where those went."

"How am I supposed to masturbate at all when I can think about is my sexy, young blonde girlfriend wearing cheap cotton panties or fake lace?"

"Is that all I am? Spank bank material?"

"And I'm not? Cause I'm missing a tube of my favorite lipstick and a lacy black bra that I got in Milan. Should I go over to your apartment and search under your pillow? Cause, babe, I've looked everywhere else at this point."

"Do you really want them back?"

"I want them in my apartment."

"I should have asked first. I don't even know what came over me. I'm sorry."

"I'm so broken up about it," Alex said in a sarcastic tone, "My girlfriend is a klepto, it's okay. No, Officer don't worry I'll make sure she's punished properly, thoroughly. Besides, you still aren't the worst criminal I've ever been with."

"I'm not a klepto! I never even stole a candy bar when I was too young to know any better. I've never stolen anything."

"Yet you just plead guilty to grand theft."

"How much do you spend on makeup and underwear? That's petty theft if anything."

"I'm surprised a good girl like you knows the difference."

"I know things about law. Can we not discuss how, please?"

"Only because I don't want you thinking about anybody else who has fucked you when my fingers are between your legs. Oh and I'm missing the one vibrator that you really like. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? I'm gonna have to start patting you down before you leave my apartment."

"Then I'd never leave."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Believe me if I didn't have a kid I never would."

"You say that like I don't have a bedroom I'm not using. I could buy some Spider-Man sheets and classic comic book posters."

"Should it make me wetter that you remember what the kiddo is into?"

"Well you are a bad mom but I get it, babe. And my mom would kick my ass for the offer I just made but I'm sure the first time he calls her grandma all will be forgiven. I know what I would have wanted as a kid. My mom never dated at least not as far as I knew and I suspect that even now that I've been out of her house for twenty-four years she still hasn't. The older I got the more I wanted to see her in love once in my life. I'm thirty-eight and still waiting. Geo deserves better. I want to be for him what I wish I'd had as a child. I remember things I find important and Geo's Spider-Man obsession is the most important thing right now," she whispered as her fingers finally grazed the hood of my clit and I let out a sigh that was equal parts surprise and satisfaction. She increased the pressure on my sensitive nub and I nearly orgasmed loudly.

"Shh, bite your lip or I'll bite it for you."

I pouted my lower lip and then let out the one sound Alex found completely irresistible, a moan that sent my head into the wall and a hand into my underwear every time.

"You, naughty girl. I'll give you what you want but there will be a price. I think it's time I introduce you to a little light bondage."

"You are really failing on the punishments tonight, Vause. I try to overpower you with my ideas for my physical, carnal pleasure and pout and you tell me you bought me a new toy and now I disobey you by choosing to moan and you offer to tie me up while, I assume, you thrust said plaything inside my painfully swollen pussy and watch it stretch as it has no choice but to accommodate what I assume is its sizable length and girth with no ability to control your motions and fulfill my needs for your body to give me pleasure."

"Well if my good girl hadn't suddenly decided to go bad it would be a little easier. I wasn't even trying this time and I still turned my girl bad."

"You are a horrible seductress of a woman. I love you, even if you are a vampy She-devil."

"Call me a She-devil again."

"She-devil. Sexy, alluring femme fatale who drew me into her tangled web. Your touch feels so good and there are no words for that devil tongue."

"I am going to fuck you until it hurts in nothing but the most pleasurable ways," she slid down and plunged two fingers deep inside me without slowing or stopping before I could breathe. She curled her fingers and pumped rapidly as my tender muscles worked overtime to accommodate the surprising yet much-desired assault to my senses. The cute gay male flight attendant walked by as I was riding out my orgasm and winked at us with a smile but Alex was too busy planting little kisses on my neck and pumping hard inside me as my body did everything it could to pull her in deeper and prolong the ride. My body was desperate for release and to be completely filled but unable to get what it needed due to spatial limitations but I knew wrapped in the orgasm her fingers gave me was a promise that this was just a snack designed to tide me over until we were in a more appropriate setting for what we both wanted. After Alex finished licking her fingers clean, I fell asleep on her shoulder until the plane landed and I felt her gently rouse me as it taxied to the gate.


	18. Chapter 18

I waited for our bags to come out at baggage claim while Alex went over to pick up a rental car and I noticed she didn't go to the line even the other businesspeople were in. Seeing how powerful my girlfriend was made me yearn for her to probe the deepest, most intimate parts of me even more.

"Hey, beautiful. I don't even think I need to ask if you're ready to go to the hotel," she took in my toothy grin and flushed, glowing skin as I beheld the object of my desire and watched her strut over like the Queen Goddess she then took me into her arms. I kissed her with unadulterated passion and desire for even a modicum of the power and respect she commanded in whatever way I could get it.

"I'm so ready."

"Well, keep those legs together just a moment longer. I want the next time you cum to be in the service of making Pinocchio a real boy."

"I can't wait much longer."

"It won't be, my beloved princess. It's about half an hour drive to the hotel but the way I drive and with how late it is I'll make it in half that, especially when I'm aroused by a sexy woman so close to bursting from her desire for me. I just can't wait to plunge my fingers into that ripe fruit and feel its juices running down my fingers as I prepare its soft, fragile flesh to be consumed by my hard lesbian cock thrusting roughly without caring how swollen and tender it must be from already having had what three no four orgasms tonight."

"Damn, baaabeee. I'm about to pull you into the nearest bathroom, I can't hold on much longer."

"You can and you will. It will be worth the wait, promise."

"Oh, I know it will. My body is aching for you to fill it with your raw desire to fuck it like only you can."

"And I can and I will. Let's get on the road."

Alex drove as fast as she could to a South Beach luxury high rise hotel across the street from the beach and checked in while I curled against her body and rode her thigh to lessen my agony. Alex responded to my hunger by rubbing my lower back, placing pressure on my tailbone, and kissing my cheek as she went through the process with the desk person and smiling at me than him.

"Here's your keys Dr. Vause and because I always love seeing adorable queer couples in love, it gives me hope, here's a coupon for breakfast for two at the hotel restaurant. Have you two been together long?"

"Not really."

"You look like you've been together for decades."

"It feels like I've known her my whole life," I interrupted as I reached my arm around her back and massaged the breast furthest away from me, roughly pinching her hard nipple and grasping it even harder as the thought of that soft, tender skin between my teeth while she rode my pussy.

"Well, good to know that you are still capable of speech, babe."

"Not for much longer. Can we go upstairs already? I'm so hot for you and can't hold back the tide much longer. I need to cum and you are stalling! You are so cruel! Throw me on the bed and fuck me hard until I feel like I ran a marathon in the morning and remember that I participated in a different type of full-body workout the night before!"

"Geez, I can't take this girl anywhere. I'm supposed to be the trashy one with an uncertain pedigree who doesn't belong in the ivory towers of the Ivy League scientific community. But at least she's young, hot, blonde and well-bred. She's the missing piece in my life and I'm hers. Unfortunately, right now her missing piece is missing a piece that didn't come in the box and my poor girl just wants to finish her puzzle before bed and she's getting more frustrated by the second, so I think I'm going to just have to get my sassy, precious little girl to bed," Alex took the two key cards and slipped one into her purse and the other into the front pocket of her perfectly tailored designer black slacks as she smirked at me trying to give her a hickey on her partially exposed shoulder from the poly blend cream equally expensive tank top that she had changed into when we arrived in Miami, "That will be a great conversation starter when I go to Massachusetts on Thursday morning. Like I wouldn't tell her all about you now that I'm finally seeing her in person for the first time since we met online. You know the deal," she teased as I began sucking harder on her warm, alabaster skin.

"Two for one. Yeah, I do," I responded with a sly smile, "I'll take mine on my tit."

"You'll take yours where I give it, now get your pretty young ass upstairs," she hissed as she grabbed a handful of my ass hard and I felt my aroused pussy tremble from her hand's mere proximity to my tight, hungry opening. Alex noticed my hips pivot as my jealous pussy tried to get a piece of the attention my ass was currently receiving and smirked, "Babe, I don't think my hand is going to be enough for your slutty cunt. You are going to think twice before you act so unladylike in public. Now it seems your mouth needs a lesson too. Let's see if you can win a hot dog eating contest."

"You know I'm amazingly gifted with my mouth, I can't be gagged."

"So confident. So cocky. Let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is, literally," she taunted as the elevator doors opened and she hit the button for the 14th floor. The second the doors closed she plunged her hands into the black and white striped ribbed tank top I was wearing and roughly rubbed my tits as my heartbeat wildly and she pushed her pelvis into my pussy as my legs rubbed together in search of friction. I could tell my folds were becoming slicker and more swollen with each motion of her thumb. I knew it wouldn't take much foreplay before I was ready for every bit of what Alex had planned for my tight pussy. Not a moment too soon, a dinging noise told Alex it was time to momentarily break away from my tits and I realized I was somehow topless. I knew I would only make things worse for myself by asking this version of Alex for my shirt and I didn't dare make any demands upon this Alex. She quickly swiped the card in the door and barely let me walk into the sizable suite before she pointed at the wall of the sitting room.

"Strip! Then face the wall, you naughty girl!"

I did as I was told while I watched Alex disappear into the bedroom out of the corner of my eye. I heard her rustling in the bag as I rubbed my tender nub with one hand as I massaged my less stimulated breast with my other one, feeling the nerves of my clit and nipple tingling in perfect harmony as I imagined Alex slipping a bullet vibrator as I knew she liked to do when she needed that extra oomph to enable her to truly dominate me with one of her many dildos and ensure her all-encompassing pleasure, slipping the dildo into the harness than getting herself into it and making sure it was snug against her hips, so she could feel as much of my orgasm as possible. An added bonus was that the tighter it was the more realistic it felt, which meant the more arousing it was for both of us. She was probably sizing herself up with the erect dildo rising high between her muscular thighs, lately, she had been concentrating on her glutes instead of her typical arms with her trainer and being the gym daddy top he was he didn't question it, although she volunteered that she was dating a bi-girl who loved tits and cock and had discovered a preference for feeling them simultaneously from behind and she told me he had high fived her. After she told me about that, I knew exactly where she had learned her ass play plank trick. Just imagining my favorite of all her tricks made my core tighten as that coil deep inside me became unwound more than it already was. As I rubbed harder I heard Alex moan from the other room and I know her loving act of testing the harness by wrapping her hand around the thickest part had turned into a masturbation session so I began moaning to signal that I was ready for her. I looked over to see a glimpse of Alex in nothing but black knee-high fishnet stockings and a purple harness with the eight-inch dildo I had secretly admired online, well I thought I had anyway but somehow she discovered my secret curiosity about who would use a dildo like him and what kind of woman could take a boy like him. Every nerve buzzed as I realized that intimidating dildo was now aimed directly at my sensitive folds.

"If you want my big dyke cock in your little bisexual pussy all you gotta do is ask, babe. I came out here cause I heard a noise and I encountered a needy little slut who couldn't wait to get fucked so she resorted to fucking herself instead of asking nicely. Then I come out here and what does she do, become transfixed by my cock," Alex teased as she unrolled a lubricated condom.

"I thought you said he was a new toy," normally she only used condoms when we played with the toys she bought before me.

"He is, this boy is just so new that he hasn't been properly cleaned, I thought it would make it most exciting for both of us if we felt him together for the first time. And besides this boy looks like he could leave a little something behind if given the opportunity."

"Like I'd mind that?"

"Give it time, babe. I'll put a baby in you yet, just tonight you need to learn a little discipline," I felt her slip a blindfold on me, which until then she had only done as a precursor to oral, "Now you can't give the poor boy performance anxiety during his first recital."

Before I could respond I felt her get onto her knees and push her tits into my back as she pulled my hands together in front of me then tied a silk scarf around them and kissed my ear, "there now I have you right where I want you, wet and ready for me to fuck you right. Now everything on me is the biggest you've ever seen, isn't it?"

I didn't know it I was supposed to answer or not until she tugged on my hair then rubbed my scalp where she pulled, "Yes and it's so hot. I've never been so turned on, baby."

"Do you think you can handle him," she asked as she rubbed my clit and nipped at my neck while I searched in vain to find something to hold onto. I didn't need to see her smirk to know that she found my struggle extremely amusing, "Look at you trembling, not so confident now, are you? Needy and completely vulnerable. Shall we see how open you are, you little slut? So silky and hot," her fingers easily glided along my slick, swollen folds then plunged three fingers inside me and pulled then out until just the tips were buried inside me then thrust them all the way inside me with one, smooth yet rapid motion and pumped hard as I screamed and thrashed in front of her and my body hit the wall. Just as my pussy adjusted to her fingers stretching me wide open I felt her pull out and rub my clit between her thumb and forefinger then I screamed as she pinched it as she thrust the shaft as deep as my pussy could handle.

"Still so tight. Guess I'll have to teach him how to properly introduce himself to a woman, even if she is a horny, disobedient, obstinate little slut who claims she's never met a cock she couldn't handle."

"Oh, I can handle him. You just surprised me," I gasped as she tugged at my nipples and pushed the head of the toy into my swollen center and rubbed it against my clit as I sighed.

"Shall we try this again," I felt her move one hand down my side and wrap around the shaft between her legs and gently push the head into my swollen pussy as my walls fluttered around its slow introduction and the muscles worked to pull it in deeper, "See buddy, you gotta make the girl want to take you in, make sure the girl knows you may be the one in control but she has the power. Follow her lead," she said as she began thrusting the shaft inside me slowly, allowing me to take in each inch at a comfortable pace until I was breathing heavy and I felt her knuckles against my clit and side of my fingers against my opening as my pussy wrapped tightly around the toy and I felt it pulsating around her gentle, shallow thrusts. Eventually, my body began to pull her in deeper as she rubbed my clit and pushed her front flush with my back. Alex could tell I was struggling to let go and allow myself to cum in such a kinky way and from the harness slapping hard against my ass as she called me a slut with each loud crack. I was insanely turned on but I knew everything I had been taught told me I shouldn't be on the verge of the strongest orgasm of my life from all this.

"Let go for me. Cum all over my huge cock, baby. Show me how much you like what I'm doing to you. I'm not going to stop until you cum for me," I felt her pelvis push hard against my ass and I could imagine her tightening every glute muscle she possessed as she thrust powerfully against my most sensitive spot buried deep within my walls, "I can pound your kinky little willful pussy into submission all night long but the question is do you really think you can resist your desires? Cause baby if you were better at that you wouldn't be pressed up against the wall in a pricy luxury hotel room in South Beach with a wealthy, nearly forty-year-old lesbian sex doctor fucking you raw from behind. Admit it, you are the type of girl whose little pink pussy was meant to get fucked in fancy hotels by rich, well-renowned doctors. Who you were bred to be isn't always who you were meant to be. Only you get to choose your identity and never let anybody shame you for being the amazing, sweet, sassy person you are. You like being special and feeling bad. It's okay to be yourself. I mean, look at me, I should be cleaning a hotel like this after waitressing all day with three kids by as many daddies sleeping in a cramped bedroom the four of us share in an apartment on the wrong side of town. But no, I'm staying here for just long enough to fuck my sexy, beautiful young girlfriend and crash for a couple of hours before taking her on a lovely morning drive. And you will never be the virtuous wife. That ship sailed the moment you let a man-child who wasn't doing you any favors or paying the bills cum in your pussy cause an app said it was okay. Those apps were never meant for highly athletic women with low BMIs, they are meant for average women with average cycles. But more importantly, if it had been me you never would have been checking your app to begin with, because I would not be so concentrated on my sexual needs after you had surgery that you would have to do such an action. You are my beautiful princess and kinky little slut and you don't have to choose. You can be both at once and you can cum for me, my one true love."

Alex always knew how to say just the right words and now she was telling me how much she loved me with each thrust and running her fingers through my soft tuft of pubic hair and up my taut belly to my navel as I finally, let go all over the shaft buried inside me. She pushed gently as I rode out my high, bucking against the dildo as my body used it for my own gratification.

"Ride me, baby. Ride me as long as you want. Your pussy feels so good. I love you, so much," she whispered as she wrapped a hand around my ribs and gently massaged my breast and told me how perfect my tits were and our fit was. When she could sense the moment had passed she gently pulled out then pushed me away from the wall and the next thing I knew she had pulled my head into her groin, "You look like you could use a drink before bed. You can lick and suck whatever you can get to but when I tell you it's time for bed it's time to stop."

I could smell the strong scent of my arousal on the shaft and hers on the open part of the harness and my mouth began to water as I began to lick the dildo from its balls, up the shaft until the head was in my mouth and her hand was wrapped around it a few inches from its base to keep me from taking too much into my mouth and ruining the erotic moment for both of us. After I had the toy clean, she pushed the fabric aside to give me easier access to her pussy as I ate her out on my knees until she came all over my mouth as she, judging from her moans, massaged her tender breasts and I was left to imagine what she was doing to herself to elicit those animalistic noises. As she came down from her own high I felt her hands untie mine and pull me up as she kissed me while slowly removing the blindfold while my eyes were closed. When I finally opened my eyes the harness and dildo were on the floor and she was rubbing my back as she smiled with tenderness and contentment.

"You are the most amazing creature ever to inhabit the earth."

"No way!"

"Okay, the most amazing creature to inhabit the earth who didn't come out of my womb."

"Oh, well, guess now I have something to strive for."

"We both know that's physically impossible. There's this little thing called a cervix."

"Yes, but a dyke can dream."

"I can't believe I'm in a luxury high rise hotel room with a lesbian Ivy League psychiatrist/obstetrician who specializes in sex and women's health just told me she wanted to inhabit my womb, and I'm supposed to be the one with mommy issues."

"Funny, babe. We should get some sleep, I have to drive in the morning. I've done thirty-six-hour residency shifts with less sleep over the entire period but operating a motor vehicle over the ocean with my beloved girl in the passenger seat is where I draw the line."

"That's sweet. But also completely terrifying."

"Believe me I could tell you some stories about the American medical system that would truly horrify you but no scary stories before bed, wouldn't want my baby girl to have nightmares," Alex began leading me to the bedroom where she gingerly sat me down on the bed with a kiss to my forehead before rifling through her bag and eventually pulling out a worn Eagles t-shirt and gently putting it over my slowly cooling skin, "You want panties or are you comfy like this?"

"Which bag would they come from," I asked as I moved my legs from their crossed position to reveal my still swollen pussy.

"Whichever one you," she threw a pair of white linen shorts, "want."

"Thanks, baby," I responded with an air kiss that she caught in her hand, "So, what are you wearing?"

Alex just smiled and struck a modeling pose as she circled her hands over her curves, "Why, what I always wear, babe."

"Then come on in, the water's fine," I teased as I pushed the comforter aside and got under the sheet and cream blanket.

"Need anything?"

"Just your sexy body next to mine. Oh, and turn off the lights."

Alex quickly flipped the switch, making sure the light by the vanity area by the bathroom was on before joining me in bed, pulling me close and kissing my shoulder until we fell asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

I woke up face to face with a still sleeping Alex Vause hours later with my head on her breast, lulled by the rhythm of her heart while she kept a hand firmly over my right breast, periodically massaging it in her sleep as she liked to do and I don't think she was even aware of but if I so much as shifted my feet she would tighten her grasp. I got up and opened the curtains than ordered room service and made Alex coffee with bourbon from the minibar and since I had already learned to love spending Alex's money grabbed a little bottle of Don Julio for myself.

"Babe, what are you doing," a sleepy Alex groaned from the bedroom as she heard me rummaging through the minibar.

"Making you buy me overpriced tequila, babe."

"So, raiding the minibar, then. Is there any Bailey's in there?"

"You are setting a very dangerous precedent, Al. Spoiling me like this."

"News flash, you are the beloved girlfriend of the preeminent medical doctor specializing in queer female sexualities in America."

"So, what you are saying is even if you never spent a dime on me, I'd still be spoiled rotten?"

"Good one, Pipes. Now bring me my coffee, unless you want more punishment tonight!"

"Can I bring the coffee and you bring the punishment later, anyway?"

"I've created a monster. A kinky, unbridled, beautiful monster."

"But you love me," I hollered from the living area.

"More than you could ever know. So, where's breakfast?"

"Should be here soon. Orange juice and a bottle of Prosecco to drink. Then I got you buttermilk pancakes and two sides of bacon with roasted potatoes and an egg white garden omelet for myself. Oh, and a basket of muffins and a fruit plate to share."

"Still hungry for a muffin after last night?"

"Always."

"Banana nut? Or cherry?"

"Blueberry," I teased and was met by a pillow to the face as my girlfriend mouthed the word smartass which turned into the two of us laughing and wrestling on the bed until there was a knock on the door.

"I've never been less happy for food to arrive in my life."

"And you weren't the one about to pin your beautiful young blonde girlfriend into submission. I'll get it."

"I'll have you know I was about to employ the finishing move, Al. I got it, babe, I'm more dressed."

"And I have a better poker face."

"But only because my teacher has neglected to give me that lesson, Dr. Vause."

"Because it can't be taught and you will always be that giddy, flushed little thing after sex and I never want that to change. I like your girlish smile and post-sex glow that screams 'you'll never guess what I just did.' Makes me want to ravish you every time, continually deflowering you is the most satisfying thing I've ever done in my whole life," she answered as threw on the shorts I had been wearing and headed to the door and moments later walked into the room with two plates of food and a slice of her bacon on my plate, "Cause we both know you are going to steal it anyway."

"Why do you think I got an extra side of it? But you forgot the syrup," bacon dipped in maple syrup was something Alex had introduced me to and now I couldn't eat it any other way.

"Well, now we can't have that can we," she teased as she rubbed my head and kissed me, "Can't have people thinking I don't care for my woman right."

"Maybe tonight you'll be the one who gets punished," I teased as I swatted at her ass and she jumped around and laughed as she ran into the living room to get the syrup. She came back and put a little on my plate. I ate a few bites of my healthier breakfast before I, yet again, decided Alex's looked way better than mine and as always ended up eating more of her food than mine. As Alex fed me the last bite of syrupy pancake she grinned as I licked my lips.

"That's so hot," Alex teased as she grabbed my arms and pushed her breasts and lips against mine, as I felt her tongue copying my motions and I could tell my unconscious action had made her insanely jealous so I pulled her hips down into my lap and guided them until she was riding my pussy. Before long, her moans grew too strong that she was forced to break the kiss and throw her arms around my neck and her head upwards as her tits bobbed wildly as she rode me faster. I could tell she was close but couldn't quite get there and then I remembered her fingers grazing across mine as I handed her coffee to her earlier and I knew exactly what she was in the mood for. I kissed down her neck as my fingers slowly ran down her tight abs. I gave special attention to her breasts and clit as she pivoted her hips, doing everything but begging me to enter her.

"Does the animalistic She-devil need to be filled?"

She just sped up her gyrations instead of giving me an answer so I decided to risk my life and flip her onto her back and enter her tight opening with two fingers. Her muscles tightened more as she fought the intrusion but I kept pushing against her body's attempt to resist its secret desires.

"Who is fighting against her need to cum, now, baby," I hissed as I bucked my hips forcefully against hers as they pivoted off the bed and pushed them down as I kept trying to push my way inside, "You are this sexually experienced badass top who puts everybody else's needs above her own but secretly loves having her girlfriend penetrate her and dominate her pussy," I ground my pussy against my hand buried deep inside the crevices between her legs as I felt her muscles slowly loosen to allow my fingers to enter her as I laid on top of her and softly nibbled at her tender, now aroused breasts, "You like to be pleasured like a woman because you are some specimen of a woman," I looked up at her heaving chest and taut abdomen and her hand pressed hard against the bed frame as she closed her eyes, arched her neck and bit down on her lip, "It's just as okay to want this as it was for me to want what you did last night. It's okay to allow yourself to be fucked like this by the person you love more than you've ever loved anyone else. Aren't you the one always telling me if it feels right then do it," I asked as I kissed her lips tenderly and finally felt her open her legs wide for me and loosen her taut muscles as my fingers pumped inside her and my thumb massaged her clit until with one trembling moan she came all over three of my fingers inside her. I increased the friction inside her as I decreased my stimulation on her clit to help her ride out her orgasm for as long as possible until I could feel her start to close up so I gently pulled out of her and sat on her just above her waist and let her watch me lick and suck my fingers clean.

"So, now that you've had breakfast, can we start our day?"

"That just whetted my appetite more," I responded with my lips hovering just above her before kissing just below her navel as her ab muscles rippled deliciously underneath my lips and she groaned as another wave of arousal formed inside her. I started massaging her tits until they became hard in my hand until I felt her grab my hand as my mouth was precariously close to her mound.

"Babe, stop!"

I peered up from her belly with the look one would expect from a child doing a poor job of blaming a broken cookie jar on their sibling, "What, baby? I'm not doing anything," I teased as I planted a kiss at the spot where the line of her pubic hair began.

"Kid, I did not fly you all the way to fucking Miami to spend the whole weekend fucking fucking in the fucking hotel! That's what callgirls are for and you are my princess!"

"And right now all your princess wants to do on her vacation is eat your pussy!"

I felt Alex's tight abs ripple on my lips as she laughed and I didn't have to see her face to know that she was rolling her eyes and raising her brow as she huffed, "I can't with you today, I just can't. My pussy's not going anywhere without you and you know it's always wet for you. Would you like to come up here and discuss what went so wrong in your psychosexual development that you are so fixated on oral sex?"

"Yes, let's discuss what went wrong in my infancy. Or I could just make love to you."

"Not if I don't let you nestle that pretty little head of yours between my strong legs, you can't. I'll take you shopping and get your hair done for the club."

"We're going clubbing, tonight? We've avoided bars since the incident," I rolled off her, my desires now aimed elsewhere.

"Yeah, my best friend from grad school, Mel, is at U of Miami and he wants to meet you. I messaged him just to find out the up and coming hot spots and when I said I was looking more for places to take a date who is new to the community it changed the tone of the conversation entirely. And now he's insisting on taking us to dinner, of course, he's making me pay for everything else. I wouldn't be a rich doctor if I hadn't had my wingman who taught me the importance of cross-cultural studies in psychology."

"He's the one who when you were nineteen told you that you could turn a gay male top into a straight bottom because he ogled your tits as he knowingly let you in underage after you had seen a cute gay boy who was a day from twenty-one and you asked if that was a dare or a comment?"

"Ah, yes and that's how I ended up with a hyper-masculine, muscle-bound gay guy top going down on me on his knees in a bar bathroom without me doing anything to him and ended up never buying another drink in a boy bar for the rest of my time in SF. I ended up having to find the closest chick to finish the job but that night built my reputation as a sexual Goddess Rockstar. I'm probably still a legend there."

"And my sexuality is supposed to be too complicated to understand."

"Sex is sex, it's an act that can either have or not have meaning based on one's interpretation. It's about power and biological imperatives taking over. I form actual attachments solely to women and you form them to both men and women and probably all people if you ever explored the middle of the binary, but that'll literally happen over my dead body so you're just a greedy bisexual cause I'm a jealous lesbian. C'mon let's go shower and get on with our day. It's a gorgeous, warm sunny day in Miami."

"Can we fool around in the shower?"

"You keep those hands to yourself for the rest of the day and wear a dress without panties tonight."

"And what are you wearing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. But it'll be worth it. I'm gonna get you some couture with Swarovski crystals, maybe a subtle animal print since you seem so intent on being the top today."

"Are you gonna wear a skirt and signal to the world that you are a bottom today?"

Alex just looked towards the window with that smirk she made when she didn't want anybody but me to know she was saying yes to one of my ridiculous ideas.

After an afternoon of shopping at trendy boutiques until Alex found just the right pink sparkly dress and equally emblazoned leopard print stiletto heels. The dress she chose barely qualified as a dress with it's plunging neckline down to my navel and fabric barely grazing my thighs. But the smirk and the look of a hungry wolf she gave me the second that I stepped out of the dressing room in the full outfit made my discomfort worth it. Then she took me to an expensive lunch complete with cocktails and bought me makeup as I tried to argue that I knew more about this stuff than she id and she should take my advice.

"You may have started a beauty company but I've been playing with makeup since before your parents were married and doing other girl's makeup since you were a baby. So, I will always know more about how to make girls look good. And it's my money so I decide how every penny of it is spent."

"Okay, but only if we can get blowouts."

"In this humidity?"

"Please, babe? You know you love when my hair is all tousled."

"You are a ridiculous human but you are my human and I love you, Pipes," she declared confidently and warmly as she ran her hand along my jaw and softly kissed me, not caring who was around and I leaned in and returned the kiss.

"I love you, Al. And I trust you."

"I know what I'm doing in this arena better than you, my twenty-eight year-old armchair shrink."

"You just hate it because my assessment is always right."

"You make me crazy, and I would know, now c'mon and let the master work."

Two hours later I was still a bit unsure with the soft yet sexy look Alex had given me with smoky black eye makeup, pink cheeks and red lips when I saw Alex emerge from the bathroom through the vanity mirror and my stomach tightened so much I couldn't breathe at the sight reflected before me. Her look was only made hotter when I caught her smirking at my reflection in the mirror.

"It's just like you to forget how mirrors work, babe," Alex teased as she strutted over and kissed my ear as she ran her hand along my hips. I turned around when I felt the smooth cool of her hand push under my dress and take a quick turn as she backed me into the counter and I got a full view of her breasts gathered into a black steampunk-inspired bustier with a pair of straps on each side that met in a triangle at her shoulders and felt along the flowered black lace along it's corseted lower end and admired the tight black leather miniskirt with just a bit of red lace along the hem and an Onyx necklace.

"You know it's not polite to stare, your mother taught you nothing."

"Well, that's obvious, doctor, and I think we've discussed it in detail in our sessions."

"Let's see just how much you like this outfit," Alex teased as she plunged two fingers inside my wet yet still tight center deep inside me and started pumping at a gentle rhythm as my back pushed harder against the counter as I moaned and tossed my head around wildly. Eventually, I felt an arm wrap around my waist and the sensation of being pulled onto the counter as she never once lost the rhythm of her shallow thrusts inside me.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming," I struggled to find something to hold onto so much that I didn't notice she had stopped and knelt in front of me until I felt her softly push my skirt up as far as she could and nestle her head between my open legs until I felt her tongue lick along my swollen lips and I moaned loudly and one hand rubbed my clit while the other explored the open neckline of my dress. I pulled her face deeper into me and she let me take over and fuck her face as she touched me everywhere as my hands held onto her head until I came all over her face as I looked down at the black leather-clad raven-haired woman between my legs and dug my nails into the salt shaker tattoo on her shoulder.

"Well, now. Let's get fixed up before we are any later than we already are," Alex teased as she wiped her face off, "Guess you approve?"

"Yeah, well except for one thing."

"What's wrong?

"I'm worried I'm going to end up having to cut a bitch tonight."

"Don't you worry. The only girl who is gonna get this off is you, my love. This outfit is all for you, let the bitches look, I'm yours. Let them be jealous, I just want to pop bottles and dance all night with my hot blonde girlfriend. You are the only girl I care about, that I see and I should be the same for you. Think of tonight as your debutante ball all over again but with rainbows and drag queens."

"And a much more desirable dance partner who is actually a good dancer."

"I'm more than good," Alex responded as she fixed my hair and makeup than her own before she helped me off the counter and led me out of the suite as we walked hand in hand to the restaurant.


	20. Chapter 20

We walked into a Tapas restaurant near the gay area of South Beach and Alex smiled when she saw a short, stocky Hispanic man turn and run up to her.

"Hola! Como estas, mi amiga?"

"Muy bien, y tu?

"Bien. Ella es tu chica?"

"Mi Novia."

"Well, look at you, Vause. Love looks good on you, Mamacita. Damn, girl, how do you look hotter every time I see you?"

"Consistent food source?"

"Now there's the Vause I love. Guess I don't have to ask why you were late as always."

"But you know I'll tell you anyway. I had to fix a leaky pipe in my hotel suite. I found the source of the leak but still don't think I got it quite fixed, did I, baby?"

My eyes fell to her tits again and I nearly orgasmed as I imagined what her nipples must be doing as she relived the moment we shared not quite half an hour ago and I ran my hand along her accentuated curves, "No, I think we are going to come back to quite the mess tonight. I'm Piper, you must be Mel," I wrapped one arm around the center of my girlfriend's curves and put the other out to shake hands with Alex's old best friend.

He chuckled and looked me up and down, "You are definitely my lezzie sister's match. You don't miss a beat, just like another lesbian I know."

"I'm not a lesbian," I responded as I unconsciously looked down at Alex's cleavage with hunger and admiration.

"Right, next time say that when you aren't completely transfixed by your girlfriend's boobs after referring to how aroused she makes you and not as subtlety as you think you did."

"I'm bisexual."

"Sure, you are, sweetie. They all are at first."

"Leave my girl alone. Poor girl has been through enough. Let her define her identity however she chooses."

"I've seen so many bisexuals break your heart."

"Piper is different. We're in love. And we make each other happy."

"This isn't an experiment. I went to Smith, I did my experimenting years ago. I know who I am but also who I was allowed to be so I hid the part of me that desired women until it nearly killed me. I could look at my baby boy and still want to die, knowing the life he'd be doomed to if I did. That's how bad it got. And that's when I found Alex."

"Don't worry babe, he knows," she whispered in my ear when she saw my concerned expression then rubbed my back gently, "And he's sworn to secrecy and has seen what happens when I start throwing punches."

"All I care about is that you don't break her heart. I've been down that road with her so many times. And the Silvia thing nearly killed her from beginning to end. That relationship was terrible. At least you don't seem to be an alcoholic heroin importer."

"Nope. I only import cosmetics. And I'm a social drinker. I'm not going to say I've never sat on the floor with a bottle of Chardonnay and cried till the last drop was gone."

"So cosmetics?"

"Yeah, I own a beauty company. It started with artisanal soaps in my kitchen but now its lotions made in a factory in China. But things haven't been good lately with my business partner."

"Ah, yes the homophobic asshole. You don't need to be in business with someone like that. Would you spend your money at a business run by someone who thinks like her?"

"Hell, no!"

"Then why are you in business with her?"

Alex saw how nervous and uncomfortable her question made me so ever my protector she swopped in to come to my defense, "She's not ready to give up, that's just how she is. She knows I'll do anything to support her and ensure her happiness. Fiercely independent and fights to the death. She's the most ridiculous human I've ever met and she's a mess but I love her, she's my princess," Alex added with a smirk before planting a kiss on my cheek as I smiled the biggest, brightest smile ever.

"I've seen all I need to see. Shall we get some food so we can get this night started?"

"Yes! I'm starving," Alex answered as she led me to a table with three other guys around it and pulled out my chair.

"Well, look who's turned into the chivalrous dyke. You've met Eddie, my partner. And I'm sure you remember Tomas from the pool party last summer. And this young man is Julio, my research assistant, he doesn't believe you're my best friend. He's super into your early work."

"The BDSM stuff?"

"Yeah. Or how you became a twenty-six-year-old millionaire."

"I did other stuff and you know it."

"But she doesn't and I doubt you want her knowing while you still have her all giddy and starry-eyed. That's one of those things you reveal after you put a ring on it."

"You're probably right."

"I always am, I will always be older and wiser."

"And I will always be hotter. Now let's get my girl a margarita and me a mojito! I'm feelin' pretty thirsty," Alex declared as I subtly pulled her chair out a little and she sat down next to me.

"You really think a mojito will be enough to actually quench your thirst, baby," I whispered just loud enough for the table to hear and was met by a cool glare and Alex shaking her head, "ooohhh, baby." To which I replied at the same decibel as earlier, "You know only one thing in the world that has ever adequately quenched your thirst." Then she fired back, "And only one thing shuts you up when you are a mouthy, horny little girl. So drink up, a few more of those and I'll have you eating out of more than just my hand before we get back to the hotel. See who gets eaten and who eats tonight." The final shot of our quasi-fight was me teasing, "I'll play that game if the eater gets eaten first when we get back to the hotel." The guys all looked shocked that I was not only negotiating with and coming onto Alex Vause but that I was doing it as casually and coolly as I would if I were in my own boardroom. That action and the guys' reactions won me a backrub, a good girl and a sweet, tender open mouth kiss.

"Hey ladies, could we make it through dinner first?"

"But she's so damn cute. Look at how cute she is?"

"Yeah, you are living the doctor cliché but I don't want to drink on an empty stomach because you two got us kicked out of the restaurant."

"So, Mel," I started as Alex rubbed my knee, "you must have some stories about Alex's early years."

"Oh, that I do. Alex was the wildest of all of us but also the smartest, in whatever environment she was placed into."

We sat around the table for the next hour laughing as Mel told us all his favorite stories of Vause before she was Dr. Vause. Julio headed home to work on finishing a research paper before he flew home to Arizona to see his family for Thanksgiving while the rest of us headed out onto the still warm Miami street and to start our night at the top drag queen show in the city.

.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So here we go, the final chapter of Vauseman's Miami trip and I promise it's worth the wait. I wanted to get it right and it took longer than I expected to get everything I wanted and end up with the plot movement I wanted to achieve before the two return to New York. This chapter has a special treat for my lovely reader who requested a specific scene and was amped up for my reader Laylor who loves nightclub Vauseman and really who doesn't? Their first Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I have a long distance love affair with New York during the holidays (too many Christmas themed rom-coms set in NYC growing up), I'm currently open to holiday scene requests for our couple and I'll try to see what I can do. **

The five of us got to the drag show at a bar near the restaurant and I knew instantly the moment Alex nodded at the bouncer and coolly said five letters that I was beginning to realize were extremely powerful in every circle we encountered, "Vause," to the bouncer and we were let right in and then led to a table in the front-center of the stage. The bar wasn't huge and the only lights were from the stage and a glittering disco ball hanging from the black painted ceiling. A dark-haired tanned chiseled guy who looked barely old enough to be in the bar, let alone working there came over.

"What can I get for you guys?"

Alex's friends put in their orders and then the boy looked at her, "What can I get for you, gorgeous?"

"Whiskey sour. You want a margarita, babe? Or do you want to continue with this your glow-up and try something new?"

I ran my hand up her leather-clad thigh and whispered, "If I make you feel in control now, will it tip the scale in my favor?"

"Maybe," she teased as she stifled her arousal at my gentle touch on her leg, "Keep up everything you're doing, babe."

"Well, all your plans so far tonight have worked out rather well for me so you choose."

"And a mai tai for my girlfriend, with your best rum and don't you dare try to trick me. Only the finest things are going to pass my girl's lips tonight. It's her first night out since she came out. And a round of Patron for the table."

"Your momma don't know where you are does she," the boy asked me with a warm smile.

"No. I'm planning on the I have a girlfriend who I love, please pass the cranberry sauce one-two punch on Thursday."

"Well, no matter how it goes remember you always have family and you'll end up better than the hate if you keep shining. I was thrown out at sixteen and made my way from Alabama to Miami and now I'm twenty-two and waiting to get into nursing school, I'll be the first in my family to finish college and they'll never know. I for one am glad to have such a looker on my team. And, if you want any exclusive experiences, let me know," he added as he took Alex's black AMEX to start a tab for the table. Alex didn't flaunt her wealth and power very often, she was the unintended example my mother had taught me about my whole life that the those who truly had money and status don't need to prove it, but when she wanted to make sure everyone knew who and what she was that black piece of plastic with Dr. Alex Pearl Vause carried a lot of weight and make sure people looked past every single outward thing that signaled her outsiderness. He was impressed and kept the alcohol flowing through the show until Mel commented, "Hey, Vause, I think your girl found a set of tits she likes better than yours."

She looked over at me and noticed I had become transfixed by a particularly curvy, dark-haired, busty light-skinned older-looking Latin queen, "I'm not worried," she told him before turning her attention to me, "You want to play with a different queen? Does my baby need a little snack?"

"She's hot. And I have to admit I'm kinda curious how they'd feel. But I don't want to be disrespectful."

"It's not like you are some straight chick here to ogle the queens so you can sound cool and culturally progressive. You own the hottest set of natural tits in the world, I think she'd be honored if you knew you found her womanliness attractive."

The next thing Alex did had me turning red and trying to hide as she walked up to the queen handed her a hundred dollars and told her loud enough for the whole bar to hear, "My girl loves your tits and she is the caretaker of these boobies so she knows her tits!" Then quieter, "So what would it take to let her play with them? It would make her night. She's new." "Where is she?" "She's the blonde over there." "Damn, girl! Bring her up here." Moments later Alex was pulling me on stage and the queen I had been admiring was putting a mic in my face, "We have a newly out queer girl here tonight. Now she looks a little nervous but let 's all welcome her. What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Uh, Pi-Pie-Piper."

"Where you from?"

"New York City," I meekly responded as I looked at my feet.

"Your first time at a drag show?"

"My first official night out since I came out."

"How are you liking Miami?"

"Loving it," I answered drunkenly and loudly as Alex smiling next to me gave me courage that I didn't know I had.

"And what's your name, don't think I forgot about you over there," she turned to Alex with a smile.

"Alex," she confidently answered as she enunciated each letter and hung on the 'x.'

"How long you two been together?"

"Two months but we've known each other for five," she answered.

"Aw, new love, aren't these two such a cute couple," she asked the crowd and we were met by a resounding cheer as Alex pulled me close and the energy pulled my lips into hers like a magnet. When we unlatched from our deep kiss she turned back to me, "But I hear somebody has been a naughty girl tonight and she's been looking at another queen's tits, is this true Piper?"

"Yes."

"Come closer then and touch them if you want them so much."

I ran my hand between her cleavage and it felt good, they were nothing like Alex's set but they were hot.

"I don't think Piper is fully satisfied, what do you think," she hollered and the crowd yelled no and the next thing I knew she plunged my head into her tits and I was certain I heard Alex's laughter out of the hundreds of gleeful reactions.

"So how was that," she asked me.

"Not bad. My woman's tits are better!"

She looked at Alex's cleavage and then her own, "That's one battle I'll let you win. Alex and Piper, everybody! One last round of applause for the gorgeous happy couple," she hollered as one of the bouncers helped us off the stage.

I was giddy and holding onto Alex so I wouldn't start skipping like a little girl on the first warm day of spring, "That was fucking awesome, baby! Thanks!"

"You're still gonna be punished later, babe."

"You gonna do that thing she just did to my head?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Not one bit. It would be an especially torturous form of autoerotic asphyxiation. So, you know, definitely do that," I teased as I rubbed between her tits and I could tell her nipples were getting hard.

"Well, I did just renew my CPR certification. And I'm certified to use a defibrillator."

"Was that before or after the millionth time you gave a chick a heart attack?"

"After."

"Listen to you two. I think we need to get these two on a dance floor before things get all National Geographic between these two. At least that's a slightly more appropriate setting for what these two are so close to doing. Piper, you ever been to a Latin club?"

"No."

"Do you know how to do the salsa?"

"Like the stuff you put on chips?"

"No, the dance, you silly. But I'll take that as a no. Luckily, you are dating the most amazing full-blooded white person I've ever seen do Latin dancing. Vause, are you up for some dance lessons?"

"Well, normally I'd say not in a million years," I hung on her side and rested my head on her shoulder as I looked up with the gleam in my eye that I knew she couldn't refuse, "Baby, let me finish and I wasn't talking to you anyway, Pipes. But I love teaching this girl things as much as she loves learning them and she's such an eager student and a quick learner. Come here," she spun me around and put one arm around me and took my hand and started counting steps and then spun me like she had at least a hundred times in her kitchen, "See she's a natural. And it helps that she's been doing Latin dance without knowing it for months. You think you can do this, it's just a matter of staying on the beat."

"You make that sound so easy."

"It is."

"Al, we can't all be the illegitimate daughter of a famous drummer in a top Eighties heavy metal band. I'm not musical and I suck at dancing."

"Maybe you just suck at dancing with straight white boys from well-off families."

"Preppy boys are the worst," the three boys all exclaimed in unison.

"Was I talking to you? Do you guys want to find your own way to Coconut Grove or do you want to arrive in style?" They all shook their heads no and Mel told Alex, "We'll meet you outside. I'll tell them to close your tab."

"Take my phone and get an Uber Black SUV. Preferably an Escalade or Range Rover, which do you want, baby?"

"Range Rover."

"You heard the girl. We'll be right out," Alex watched the guys head out and then pulled me into her arms, "Don't convince yourself of your lies. It's time you abandon everything you have been taught to believe and believe in the wonderful girl I fell deeply in love with, to be the girl I see. She's sweet and amazing and smart. You are the love of my life. I know it's soon to know that and believe me you don't want to know what I'd tell myself if I was my client but I've been around the block a few times and I'm starting to feel a buzz. You hold your head up high. You are special, Piper Chapman. Don't let anyone limit you, well beyond me asking you to love only me. And if anybody tries to tell you can't, you tell me and I'll deal with them."

"You're the love of my life, too. But maybe we'll keep that between us for now so that everybody doesn't think we're insane. You are pretty amazing, too. I just wish you'd let me in more, you are so secretive."

"That's as new to me as being in a woman's arms is to you, I'm working on it. We both need nurturing and support but right now I'm starting to feel sober again and I want to dance."

"Me too. Let's go before the boys steal our Uber."

"Not as long as I'm the one with a thousand dollars cash and no-limit credit cards in my wallet. Oh, and the hottest one in the group whose presence could get us into any club in Miami."

"And who might that be?"

Alex ran her hand down my spine and slapped then momentarily grabbed it until my core felt tight and my lungs hurt from holding my breath.

"Somebody wet? That'll make dancing even more fun."

We just barely got outside before the Uber and the guys, of

course, teased us about hooking up in the bathroom to which Alex replied, "Not yet but the night's still young." I slid my hand between her legs and felt her swollen center and rubbed her, avoiding the spots that would turn this into a raging fire in seconds, until we got to the club. We danced for the next two hours, taking shots on the dance floor and grinding against each other. I missed a few steps but she just kissed me and kept going. After an especially good song, she would spin me and then pull me close against her body. She wouldn't grind against me, she'd just hold me and look into my eyes until the next song got going. I wanted to drag her into the closest dark corner and go down on her but I wasn't sure I could. Every time I felt her tits rub against mine and her mound press hard against my own my mouth began to water. I needed her. I spent the whole ride back to South Beach to go finish the night at Twist trying to figure out how I could get my face between her sexy legs. As much as I knew I could ask and she'd say yes, I wanted to pursue her. I wanted the thrill of catching her after the chase. As we got up to the VIP section and Alex ordered bottles of Bacardi, Maker's Mark and Grey Goose for the group and Herradura for me. Friends of Mel and Alex came in and out of the area at random but I hardly noticed anything but me on the couch with Alex and making out next to her until somehow I ended up in her lap with our skirts pushed up and our pussies rubbing against each other as we both grew wetter and wetter. At some point, a bottle of Cristal appeared and as I was close to orgasming from riding her lap she grabbed it and poured some on her tits.

"Whoops, so clumsy of me."

"Must be distracted by the hot girl riding your thighs."

"I spilled expensive champagne on myself and it's all your fault."

"I should be punished for wasting your hard earned money and getting your tits all sticky."

She grabbed my waist and pulled me to her lips, while she was kissing me she poured more alcohol between her tits and pushed her thigh hard against me then pushed my head into her tits. I savored the salty smell of her sweat and sweetness of the alcohol.

"Well, clean up the mess you made," she paused and whispered softly yet commandingly, "you horny little slut." I decided to poke the bear and ignore her, knowing exactly what she'd do if I did. She pulled my hair hard and nipped at my neck as I struggled to hold back the dam inside me that was threatening to break and I moaned loudly, which led to every head on the balcony turned.

"Damn, look at the lesbians!"

At the moment I didn't care and if I had what could I really say, I was pushing the straps of a woman's bustier down her shoulders after using her body as my own personal Disney World for the last two hours.

"And you know they aren't about to kick either of them out since Vause has dropped what 2K at this bar! That she can get away with this in addition to everybody being able to see her girlfriend's ass grinding on her exposed pussy is why we party with Vause. She's the boss bitch!"

"Are you hearing this, baby?"

"Well, it seems like they want a show. And I want your tits right now, everything about them is so intoxicating. Their smell, the way they feel rubbing against mine, the way they taste like almonds and definitely how aroused they look."

"And I want to hear the sound of you fucking them."

"I want to hear the sounds you make when I fuck them," she poured a generous amount of Herradura on top of the Cristal and pushed my head into her chest as I tried to push more of them out of her tight garment.

"Go on babe, work my body for your pleasure. That feels so good, baby," she kept telling me how good it felt and encouraging me to use her body as I trailed kisses from her breasts to her lips and back up and my fingers found their way between her legs and her center was doing everything it could to entice me to enter her.

"I want to taste you."

"I've been holding it in all day, you sure you can handle what I have waiting for you?"

"Yes, and my mouth is so greedy it doesn't want to let me waste a drop on my fingers."

With that, I rose off Alex's lap, grabbed her hand and led her to the VIP area's bathroom where I knew that even if we got caught nobody would do anything. Alex locked the door with one hand while she got out of her skirt with the other and stood there half-naked and smirking. Her pussy was glistening and swollen. It was the most delicious sight I had ever seen in my life.

I pushed her against the wall and without any fanfare licked her sensitive folds and did every trick I knew with my tongue on her clit until she was a shaking, screaming mess begging me to let her cum. I looked up at the sight of Alex Vause reduced to a woman consumed by need and then dove in and thrust my tongue inside her. I slowly found her most sensitive spot and when I did, I was rewarded with a gushing stream in my mouth. I lapped it up while I pushed her hips against the wall, both to keep her standing and prevent her from taking over control. She moaned loudly every time I found the spot she needed me most and soon afterward I'd be rewarded with another stream of fluid until the gushes became drops and I knew I had taken all she had to give. I rose up and kissed her with her cum still on my lips until Alex regained her composure. For a moment I thought I could get away with dominating Alex and controlling her body but of course, Alex would never let that happen and I didn't mind. Just as I was about to turn and guide us back out to her friends, she grabbed me hard with fire in her eyes and spun me towards the sink.

I found my front pressed hard against the sink and felt my dress being pulled up to reveal my naked ass cheeks as she thrust three fingers deep inside me without warning. I yelped from the shock to my system as every nerve in my body seemed to instantly work in tandem to stretch around her filling my tight pussy. "I love your tight little pussy. You thought you could get away with dominating me? Using my body for your pleasure? I think you need to be reminded who has the power in this relationship. Who gets fucked and who fucks. And because I know you are a kinky little thing I'm gonna make you watch yourself get dominated." "Fuck my disobedient little pussy hard. I've been so naughty. I want to feel tonight all over my whole body." I watched her pumping hard deep inside my pussy and nibbling at my shoulder while she grabbed my tender breast roughly. Every time I screamed and yelped in pain she just fucked me harder. I didn't think I could ever figure out how Alex could combine pleasure with pain so well, all I knew was I felt like the luckiest girl alive to be on the receiving end of her expertise. At the moment though I couldn't think about anything but the pressure building inside me that Alex was either oblivious to or didn't care about. I tried to articulate my needs but my mouth could barely form sounds and letters, let alone words. I tried to watch as she raked her nails along my lower back but she was fucking me too hard to keep my eyes open. I was struggling to hold back the tide but I knew when my girlfriend was in this mood the very act of cumming was considered the most unforgivable form of taking control. So I gave in to the pain and ecstasy of being at the receiving end of Dr. Alex Vause at her most ravenous.

When I was certain I couldn't hold back another second she flipped me around then lifted me onto the sink and started teasing my painfully aroused pussy until I pushed her face into it and tried to ride her face but she grabbed my hips and pushed back hard, almost making my back hit the faucet and my head hit the mirror as she took over at the rhythm she wanted. When she decided it was time she told me, "Cum for me, you naughty slut. You act like a refined lady from a good Connecticut family but here you are trying to fuck every square inch of my body. Cum," she kept commanding as she dug her nails into the soft flesh of my thighs until I finally let loose with her tongue on my clit and her fist filling my pussy, it was the best kind of agony and my frantic moans only encouraged her more as I lost complete touch with anything real or physical. As a second wave hit, she replaced her hand with her tongue and lapped up every drop of my cum and then cleaned my lips with her tongue. Before I could get down from my perch on the sink, Alex slowly began to rise off her knees, exploring the valley the opening of my dress created, pushing it down off my shoulders to reveal as much skin as possible before licking and then sucking on every inch of my tits as I moaned from pure ecstasy and wrapped my legs around her hips. She responded by pushing her center against mine and kissing me madly as my body became overtaken by bliss and I came all over her.

"I'm definitely gonna be feeling that in the morning."

"Just the morning," she ran her fingers along my abdomen and my muscles tightened at the implication of her touch as she massaged lower and harder until I responded, "I'm going to have to explain to my family why I'm walking crooked on Thanksgiving, is that what you wanted?"

"Better," she slid her fingers down and tangled them in my sparse patch of pubic hair, "but I'm not sure that's good enough," she teased in the huskiest tone I had ever heard as she barely grazed my clit and my whole body tensed. But that didn't stop her, she kept rubbing the overly sensitive nub until I felt the tension let go and was able to whisper, "Al, baby, take me back to the hotel. Make love to me all night." I knew I couldn't get her to stop even if I wanted to so I figured I'd encourage her to take this to a more comfortable setting. "Careful what you wish for, Pipes." "I know exactly what I'm asking and that you are the only human being capable of delivering on what my pussy needs tonight before it's owner spends three days with her WASPy straight-laced fucking family but at least I don't have to smile and play along."

"You are so adorable sometimes, Pipes," she grabbed a ringlet of my hair between her thumb and forefinger and pulled me into a kiss then whispered against my ear, "especially when you think you own your pussy. The only thing you own is your brain, everything else belongs to me," she kissed my earlobe then grabbed it in her teeth before taking my hand and leading me back to her friends. She used the age-old excuse that I had too much to drink and needed to go back to the hotel and sleep it off but I knew that nobody believed her. The last things I remember that night were her friends asking each other, "Does she really think we don't know why they spent half an hour in the bathroom?" "Yeah, it's like she forgot how this works." "C'mon when has Vause ever left a club with a girl to finish her off unless she paid for her services for the night?" "That's lesbians for you." "Yeah, I'm glad forty-year-old guys don't have ticking biological clocks." "Yeah, in my prayers tonight I'll thank God for making me gay."

I rolled over the next morning with my head throbbing and the sun through the window hurting my eyes. Alex's side of the bed felt cool as I rolled over in hopes that she'd be there to comfort me and have some expertise to make me instantly feel better. I slowly became more aware of my surroundings but still didn't see or hear any sign of my girlfriend and started to weep. I didn't notice a tall raven-haired figure enter the room with a cup of black coffee and two Aspirin in her hand. I didn't hear her set them on the nightstand by the bed. She didn't say a word as she pulled me into her arms and I curled against her body as she planted soothing kisses along my hairline and rubbed my back as I focused on the sound of her heartbeat.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"No. I feel horrible. I've never partied like that, not even when I was in college. My head hurts so bad."

"I'm here. Here take these with the coffee," she handed me the painkillers and then the cup of black coffee, "drink it all down."

"Yes, Dr. Vause."

"There's the feisty girl I love. Did you have fun?"

"I did but I'm not sure what scares me more, that I'm not the person I was last night or that I am."

"Sometimes you have to let loose. Expressing your sexuality and desires is more than healthy it's necessary for survival. Letting that person out once in a while is fine. You may have gotten pretty drunk last night but if I didn't think you knew exactly what you were doing at any point last night I would have stopped it. I don't fuck chicks who I know are incapable of consent. You aren't one thing or another. You are a multi-faceted young woman. So, what do you say you take a nice cool shower and then we'll get greasy burgers and hang out on the beach in our bikinis until the sun goes down?"

"I don't know if my head and stomach can handle that, as fun as it sounds. And as much as I'd love to spend my day looking at your hot body in a bikini I just want to curl up in a cool, dark room and die."

"You need greasy food and some sun and ocean air. Don't question my methods. I'm a medical professional who has been drinking since she was twelve, I know what works. When have I led you astray?"

"Never. Not yet."

"Okay, I'll give you that one, we have a long life ahead of us and as much as I may be this genius goddess I am a mortal creature and I'm bound to fuck up a few times but I'll always do my best to take care of you. And I can promise you, staying in bed and letting your hangover win will only make it worse," she rubbed my arms and then gently pushed me off her lap and helped me up and into the bathroom then turned the shower on cold. She was right. Every second I was under the water I felt a little better. I got out of the shower and found a Bloody Mary, toast with butter and a strawberry smoothie along with a big bottle of spring water. I smiled at Alex sitting at the desk working from her Surface laptop and came up behind her and hugged her then kissed her cheek, "You are the best girlfriend ever."

"You feeling better?"

"Yeah."

"Say it. You can play cowgirl later," Alex teased seductively.

"You were right, Al. Now put your work away and get your bikini on so you can hang out with your hot, young girlfriend."

"Okay, but I want you to consume every bit of your breakfast."

An hour later we headed to the gay beach where we took a ton of pictures, including a sweet middle-aged gay couple, one of whom was a professional photographer, offered to do a sunset photoshoot for us when they learned we only had a few selfies of us together. We then got changed and shared a long dinner at a waterfront chophouse. While we were sipping on brandy and coffee I noticed Alex couldn't take her eyes off me and I knew there was something she wanted to say but she kept holding back.

"What is my big," I paused and looked at her cleavage barely held in by her partially buttoned white dress shirt, "brained woman thinking?"

"Move in with me. I never thought silence could be so lonely. I used to love nothing more than coming home after a long day to a dark, quiet house but now it just feels empty. I find myself roaming the house in the middle of the night trying to find something that smells like you and as the week goes on it gets harder. I want to come home to you, even if you are asleep. I want to know at the end of the day I get to curl up in bed beside you, even if you don't know I'm there."

"And Geo? You haven't even met my kid and he doesn't know you exist or that his mom is queer. Are you still going to want us in your house when you step on a Lego in the early morning hours after a sixteen-hour day between your practice and the hospital? Or God forbid you step on an action figure and all Geo cares about is that you called it the wrong superhero and you have to decide whether to punish him or apologize to him?"

"Yes, baby. I want us to have a life together, to be a family living under one roof. I want every part of it, even the Lego/action figure booby trap course. If that's the greatest obstacle separating me from you, I'll take it. It's better than having a river and bridges between us. We still have some work to do but we have enough time to complete it before your lease is up in January. Your landlord raised the rent and you said it yourself Geo needs his own room. An actual bedroom with a door, not a tiny open den. It's still better than anything I had until the first time my mom bought a pack of Kotex for me but not enough for the little crown prince of my beloved princess. Geo needs two parents, he needs two people who can take care of him. You shouldn't have to figure out childcare and struggle to decide whether to spend time with me or your child on the weekend. You need to have the freedom to figure out what you want and he needs someone who has the time to help him explore his interests. And I'm at a point in my career where I have the flexibility to rearrange my day for his needs. I'm ready to be a parent. I wouldn't be asking you to move in if I didn't want to be his mom. If I wasn't ready in every way for every bit of that. You know where I work, do you think I haven't spent hours sitting in the director of reproductive psychiatry's office talking about my personal life more than I probably should? She thinks I'm ready and I have the support and you do too. If you lived with me, we could be domestic partners in the eyes of NYU, so you would have access to my benefits until we are ready for marriage."

"What about school?"

"It's not school. He's coloring and napping. He's not actually learning anything. It's daycare."

"But it's too late to find another preschool. Especially in Manhattan, he would have had to have been on the list years ago."

"I'll hire a nanny to tutor him and work with him at home. I didn't go to preschool or even kindergarten for very long. I was five in the second grade. He'll be ahead of his peers after a year at home. And I'll make sure he does extracurriculars and goes to library classes to get socialization. I can always take him into my practice. He needs more than you can give him and those things you don't have I do. We'll apply to kindergartens as a nice, sophisticated lesbian couple raising a sweet little boy together. And I'm loaded."

"And stacked."

"Yeah, you could wake up nestled in my full bosom every morning. I'd do all the cooking and all you'd have to do is maintain the house between cleanings. Just think my tits could be the first thing you see every morning, not just one or two."

"Okay, but you have to win Geo over. And that boy is a tough sell."

"Not if he's anything like his mother."

"Oh, you did not!"

"What?"

"You know what."

"Fucking WASPy women and projection."

"You called me easy."

"And you called me stacked. Now we're even. Let's be honest neither one of us are virtuous ladies and it's fine."

"Have you ever taken care of a kid?"

"I was a nanny in med school during my residency. I had a part-time job at a queer sex shop in the Mission but it was only twelve hours a week during med school and did a little modeling to pay for my travel. Then when I moved to New York I didn't have that. I needed a job that would allow me to study and sleep. I knew I'd have med school loans and residency in Manhattan doesn't pay the rent when you don't have a family to rely on. And nannying was low key and paid well. During my residency, I was a live-in nanny for a lesbian couple who were doctors at NYU. Free rent, free food at the house, I could have girls over unless I was taking care of the kids overnight, it was great. They had adorable fraternal twin girls. I was with them from the time the bio mom was six months pregnant until the girls started preschool. The moms live in Jersey now and one of them quit to be a stay at home mom but the other is a top-ranked orthopedic surgeon and I still see her occasionally. I just got the girls' senior pictures and they ask about me still."

"Okay. Are you free on Sunday night? Maybe we can get pizza."

"It's a date, babe. And for you, I'm always free. Don't you dare forget it, babe. Shall we go back home, maybe take a nice long bubble bath? I brought that book we've been reading together, we could trade off chapters until we fall asleep."

"I'd love that. I need a relaxing night of pampering, especially after the past couple of nights."

Moments later Alex flagged down the waiter, paid our bill and we got our keys from the valet and went back to our room. Our final day in Miami was spent sightseeing and manicures in Wynwood, followed by lunch and shopping in Calle Ocho before having dinner in our suite followed by watching a movie while we spooned in the bed. As I sat on the plane home and watched the clouds beneath us, I knew those few days in Miami had changed everything for me, for us and I was no longer apprehensive about the future. I wasn't sure either but at least I was no longer scared or shaky.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: We'll be hearing a lot more from Geo now that our Vauseman are preparing to take the next step in their relationship and this means integrating him into their whilrwind romance...which means less sex and more domestic Vauseman trying to navigate how the third person in their relationship fits into what they are building with toddler speak**

I picked Geo up early from school on Tuesday. I crept into the room as the kids were napping and watched him grasping his stuffed Marshall pup from Paw Patrol, while he snoozed underneath a navy blue fleece blanket with white stars. I looked at all his artwork on the walls. I walked past his friends sleeping. He'd known these kids since they were all in diapers. But things change. He'd have classes and library groups to give him the socialization and constant attention he needed. He needed space and to have someone always available to play with him. My life was quickly moving in a direction I never could have imagined. I rubbed his back gently to rouse him.

"Mommy," he asked weakly as he slowly woke up from his nap.

"Yeah, baby. Hi sweetie. You have a good nap, baby? Mommy missed you so much. I couldn't wait to see you."

"Go doctor?"

"No. Let's go ride the carousel by the bridge that you like and then we need to talk, baby."

"I didn't mean left LEGOs on foor and Mrs. Miller trip! She bang knee but said it not bad! I sayed sorry and I meaned it. Really, Mommy."

"Shh, baby. You aren't in trouble. I know it was an accident, just be more careful. Mommy has something important she needs to talk to you about. Let's go get your jacket and backpack. But don't wake the other kids up."

"Tiptoe like mouse?"

"Yeah, baby."

After he was exhausted from the park, I took him home and we made hot chocolate. I watched him playing with the whipped cream as he waited for it to cool. I didn't know where to begin, Alex had given me the phone number of one of her friends who specialized in queer mothers and we had been texting back and forth but as I looked at my son I was more nervous than I'd ever been.

"You remember how you asked where Zach's daddy was and I told you he didn't have one because he had two mommies?"

"Yeah and I asked why and you said cause sometimes girls love girls and boys love boys. And they want baby. They go baby store and pick one out. And Zach isn't the only one. Parker, Mila, Mason, and Hailey all have two mommies. And Parker's new baby sister Charlotte too cause she his sister. Lots of kids have two mommies! And they do everything other mommies do! Go work, care for kids, give me snack when I say please and thank you."

"Well, some girls love both boys and girls and mommy is one of those girls. And I'm in love with a woman and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want us to be a family. And she wants that too."

"I be like Zach and the other kids at school with two mommies?"

"Yeah, sorta. But you have a daddy instead of a donor. And I know he's not a very good daddy but you would always have the parents who loved each other and made you and another mom who loves you so much already. You grew in my belly but her heart before she knew you existed. Most of them went to a special doctor and a special bank then a baby grew in one of their bellies."

"How they both mommies then?"

"Because who your parents are is about who loves you, who shows up, who comforts you when you don't feel well. Families aren't about biology, they are about love and taking care of each other."

"How they choose?"

"That's a very personal question that has a million answers. Sometimes they decide based on who wants to carry a baby or who is healthier or younger. There are so many different ways to make a family and they are all valid."

"You go special doctor too?"

"Would you mind if I did?"

"My friends are all getting baby siblings. I feel left out. Even more now Polly no let me see Finn no more. I promise I help. Would we had move?

Go new school?"

"Yeah. She lives in Manhattan and she owns a big penthouse. She invited us to come and live with her. And I asked her to dinner on Sunday. I was thinking we could get pizza from that place up the street."

"Would I have real bedroom?"

"Yeah. She has a two-story apartment with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. She has a big deck with a corner that she turned into a beautiful vegetable and herb garden. You could play outside whenever there's an adult to watch you, as long as you are careful. I'm sure she'd teach you how to garden and cook if you asked nicely and listened well."

"She rich?"

"Yeah."

"What she do? What her name? She pretty?"

"She's the prettiest woman I've ever seen. She has long, wavy black hair and green eyes. She wears thick black glasses and loves black designer clothes. Her name is Alex. She's a doctor. She helps women when they are sad."

"She help you when you were sad?"

"Yes but as a friend and then when I started feeling better we fell in love."

"She nice?"

"Yes. She treats me like a princess. And she is so excited to meet you. She wants to help mommy take care of you."

"She have baby?"

"No. But she likes kids and wants to be a mom. Do you want to meet her? Live in her house?"

"You want live her house?"

"It's not about what I want."

"I want happy mommy. I rather have two mommies and move to Manatan den have one sad mommy and go to school with fends."

"You know it won't be easy. People might say mean things."

"I know. But I remember moms day when everyone was jealous Zach was the only kid in my class who got to make two cards. So sometimes you get things other kids don't cause you special. Want happy mommy."

"You can always talk to me about anything. I won't be hurt."

"If I said I knowed?"

"How?"

"I heard Polly talking. She was yelling and being not nice. I tried not to hear, pomise. You be mad."

"No, I wouldn't."

"She didn't say Alex girl. Thinked she boy.

"I can understand how you'd think that."

"I assumed she boy. You teached me better."

"It's okay, baby."

"She make you happy. Boy or girl same."

"How old are you?"

"Two," he answered as he held up three fingers and I couldn't help but laugh at my little boy. "Make a peace sign," I watched as he did as he was told, "That's two. One, two," I wiggled each finger individually.

"You know plenty of grown-ups can't seem to realize that."

"Happy is happy. Polly one? That why no be friends with Finn no more?

"Don't change, baby. And unfortunately, yes."

"That's okay Lorna more fun anyway."

"Yeah, my sweet boy."

"Can I have chocit tips?"

"Yup, you're definitely my kid. And yes, smarty," I responded as I tousled his messy, overgrown dark blonde curls and kissed the top of his head and we worked on Thanksgiving cards for Cal and my grandmother until it was time to start his bedtime routine and read him _Mommy, Mama and Me _and _The Family Book_ and we talked about all the things he wanted to do with his moms. He wanted to watch cartoons on the couch with Alex. Go to Central Park and see the animals and play with boats. Learn how to ride a bike. Go to museums and see animal bones. Learn how to swim. Take martial arts classes and play baseball. Build things and do crafts. Learn how to use computers and play video games. Have family game and movie nights with popcorn and lots of candy. Build forts in the living room on stormy or snowy days with hot cocoa. Go camping and to amusement parks. He kept listing off things even as his eyes got so heavy he could no longer keep them open so I promised him that if he was a good boy and asked nicely all those things could happen. As I gave him one last kiss I told him goodnight while running my hands through his blonde curls I was certain he was dreaming of all the things he wanted to do with his mommies. I knew he had probably been working on this list for a long time, unbeknownst to me. I Skyped Alex the second I got curled up in bed and told her all about how easily things had gone with Geo and she made sure I knew that just because he wasn't fighting it now in the abstract didn't mean he wouldn't fight it once it became truly real but as I kissed my girlfriend goodnight I knew I'd take my fluffy pink cloud.


	23. Chapter 23

Thanksgiving morning Geo was watching the Macy's Day parade while I texted with Alex, she had driven to Massachusetts to spend a few days with her mom.

_She told me not to come see her again without you_

_Well guess I'll be meeting your mom soon then_

_Speaking of moms…you tell yours?_

_No…I got here last night so I have no excuse_

_Baby, it's scary…I've been there and I knew my mom would be cool_

_Mine won't_

_Hey if it goes badly I know someone who would gladly adopt you…you will never be alone…you have me and you always will_

_That would be more comforting if you weren't a decade and some change older than me_

_That's the one thing I admit I can't make better…that's our reality…you will probably outlive me by more years than I want to think about but in the meantime, I plan to spoil the shit out of you…will this make you feel better_

Moments later she sent me a picture of her bare breasts and I smiled and texted her back a kitty with heart eyes. She texted me back with water drops and seconds later three question marks. I laughed and blushed but didn't even know how to respond until she sent me a peach emoji and a sparkly heart. So I sent her the same thing and the word yes.

_Well…_

_What?_

_Where's mine?_

_The kiddo is in the room._

_Baaabbeee_

_When he's asleep we can sext_

_When he's asleep you can send me a pic of you rubbing your clit_

_DOCTOR ALEX PEARL VAUSE! YOU DID NOT!_

_Oh but I did…c'mon I'll send you a picture of me with my finger inside my vagina_

_Now I know how you ended up in trouble_

_Don't you fucking dare…I will always regret that from beginning to end but you don't get to be another person who refuses to admit we both did a lot of wrong, terrible things and she's still out there dealing to the community…so who's Satan in the flesh?_

_I kno babe and that was low…It's not like we haven't sent sexy, partially nude pics over Snapchat but what you are suggesting…I don't know why I'm agreeing to this but deal_

_Cause you love me and you know I love you and its different when there's real love_

_And I know you won't acknowledge anybody else has ever seen my clit_

_I acknowledge you gave birth to a kid, don't I? I'd hope your clit was involved in his creation…wait don't answer…I don't want to have to either wreck my mom's house or explain why I'm crying on the bathroom floor with a bottle of bourbon and even if it was I don't want to picture you fucking anybody else and getting pregnant with anybody else's baby_

_Don't worry…as far as you know my kid magically appeared an adorable two year old and by some genetic fluke ended up with dark eyes when his real parents both have light eyes…he exists, he's mine and he's my world that's all you'll ever know…now, where were we?_

_What happened to your Victorian good mommy routine, my beloved angel of the house?_

_You got me turned on_

_Well…I can't leave my woman wet…Settling down is forgivable, that never is…you still mad_

_You?_

_You ever had angry sex?_

_No_

_Well I'm all for giving you new experiences…if you want them_

_Well considering how enjoyable the other night was…and every other new experience you've given me has been so far you know I do_

Alex had just sent me a video of her fingering herself when Cal walked by my bedroom door. The one I forgot was still open.

"Hey sis, what are you doing? Mom sent me to check on you. Geo came running to say hi when I got here and we hollered for you but you didn't answer. But you seem to be alive. And not to mention enjoying yourself way too much to be in this house. Cause c'mon a little happiness in this house for once might burn the place down, which I'm not sure would be so bad anymore. So, what's up,sis? He said mommy was on her phone and mentioned she was 'prolly talking to Alex cause she was laughing lots. When did you get a new boyfriend? Why didn't you tell me? We've always told each other everything."

"I don't have a new boyfriend."

"Somebody's making you blush like a schoolgirl. If not a boyfriend then what?"

"Get in here and close the door."

He sat down on the bed with a concerned expression as I tried to hide my phone which was full of fifteen minutes worth of progressively dirty images and texts describing rough sex.

"So? What are you doing that you can't risk mom knowing?"

"I am seeing someone. I met them back in July and we started dating at the end of September and it's serious, we've discussed marriage and incorporating Geo into the mix. The three of us are all interested in becoming a family. Of course, they want one of their own and I can see that happening eventually."

"Yeah, the way you are blushing that eventually is going to be sooner rather than later because we both know being careful when it comes to sex isn't exactly your forte. You take risks the second someone makes your heart flutter."

"Let's just say that's not going to happen in this case no matter what risks I take. I told Geo about them yesterday, he already knew and thinks it's cool and just wants me to be happy. But it's not a guy."

"A girl? But you're straight!"

"I fell in love with a human being. Gender didn't matter. I'll admit I was looking for a woman but ultimately, I know I'd feel no different if she were the same person except for having a dick instead of a pussy. And I've been involved and otherwise interested in girls since I was eleven but I've always thought girls were pretty and never wanted to be the pretty girl. I didn't know what that meant until I started running at the senior all-state level and met these gorgeous lesbian athletes and when I was twelve I kissed one who I thought was especially beautiful and that kiss turned into me making out with a seventeen-year-old girl in nothing but our running shorts. Then college and I started cuddling with girls and feeling a certain sexual satisfaction when they touched me certain places but I never thought it was sex or called them my girlfriend. I dated boys and a lot of the time they did too. It was just relaxing. I just didn't tell anybody other than Polly and before I fell for my girlfriend I never went all the way with a woman. Now, I've done just about everything possible to do with a woman. But I'm dating a woman who wrote a shelf worth of books on the subject, including the preeminent advanced textbook on queer and trans sexuality from a medical point of view, she has multiple works that are considered required reading in human sexuality around the world in multiple languages, hundreds of articles so I'm constantly learning new tricks. I finally get it, sex, relationships, love, everything. The past year I've come to terms with my bisexuality and realized I wanted to experience being with a woman. And it has nothing to do with Larry and anything he may have done or not done. I felt like that part of me I hid from the world had become a cancerous tumor that was strangling the life out of me. It got to where I couldn't be the mother I needed to be, Geo wasn't enough to get me through so I made a change and met this woman in the craziest way when I wasn't even trying to. And everything about it feels so amazing. She's a drop-dead gorgeous, powerful, educated, sophisticated multi-millionaire doctor. She's a certified MENSA level genius. I don't love her because of those things but I'd be lying if I said those weren't exceedingly attractive traits about her. I'm a proud openly bisexual woman in a loving, committed relationship with a woman. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"You may say only Polly knew but it was sorta an open secret at school. Do you know how many guys tried to bully me by saying my sister was a dyke? And when you went to Smith the comments got worse. I didn't want to believe it. Girls get to experiment, especially athletic smart girls."

"Well, it's true, at least partly. I am a queer woman and sometimes it's easier to let people have their perceptions. When I hold my girlfriend's hand or we are affectionate in public I know we just look like a cute lesbian couple. My girlfriend is a proud lesbian, I'll never treat being one like a bad or undesirable thing. When I met her, I started thinking about things I hadn't before. I never wanted to do more than make out. I was never all that into sex. I had plenty of it and enjoyed being sexually desirable it was the act itself that I could care less about. Then I met her and sex was all I could think about."

"Sex isn't real."

"I know. We go on dates, spend lazy Sundays with coffee, the Times and old movies. We do real. We just have a lot of hot sex in between."

"And do you or is it all her?"

"We are both completely satisfied in all areas of our relationship."

"So, you've done things?"

"Yes," I sensed he was trying to understand my newfound identity and assess how real this was because he adored his nephew and was concerned about both of us. But I also knew he was my little brother and there were only so many details he needed to know when it came to my sex life.

"And you enjoy them? Have you done you know?"

"Are you asking if I've gone down on my girlfriend in the two months that we've been lovers? I would sure as hell hope so. I like it. A lot. I love hitting those sensitive spots and watching this poised, powerful woman come undone and become a heaving, teary-eyed screaming mess. More than I'm willing to tell my little brother."

"Well thanks for ruining lesbian porn for me. Now all I'm going to picture is my sister with her tongue between a woman's legs trying to make her orgasm."

"Oh, bro, I don't have to try."

"My God, sis. You are so giving me pointers."

"I've been fucking a woman for two months, you've been fucking them for what almost a decade and I know more? No way."

"But you're a woman, you know how the parts work."

"Yeah doesn't mean I know how another woman's parts work any better than you do. Every lover is different. I'm still learning her body and her desires. Listening, learning her cues and what they mean. Keeping a steady hand literally and figuratively."

"You mentioned she's a doctor? I thought you always said the one thing you'd never do was get into a serious relationship with a doctor. You always said the last thing you'd be would be some doctor's society trophy wife who popped out a house full of kids purely because you were wealthy and had nothing better to do. I thought you were more into the underachieving artsy type."

"I didn't set out to date a doctor but I'm in love with her and she treats me well. And I've surrendered because fighting it will just send me back to that dark place she rescued me from and I can't leave my son without the only parent who truly loves him. If that life is my fate then it's my job to make it work for me instead of against me, to live it on my terms and do something that makes me feel whole."

"What's her specialty? Where does she work?"

"She's mainly a psychiatrist and med school professor at NYU. But she's also a licensed obstetrician but she isn't practicing. She specializes in women's sexual health, especially queer issues and reproductive psychiatry."

"Impressive for someone just out of residency."

"She's not. She's been out of med school for twelve years. Residency for eight."

"So, she's like forty?"

"Thirty-nine in February."

"Piper Elizabeth!"

"It's legal. Maybe eleven years ago it wouldn't have been but today it is."

"How can you be sure of her intentions with that age difference and your lack of experience with women?"

"She loves me. She's not taking advantage of me because I'm a young, inexperienced piece of fresh meat."

"Yeah, and she probably makes decent money. And let's be honest, you've been spread thin financially since your business took off. You've made less money now than before."

"God, you're just like Polly. I'm not a whore or a sugar baby. I would never fuck somebody for money."

"Yeah, and you paid for that manicure and perm?"

"She paid for it, so what? She wants me to look good and not scratch her vagina."

"How loaded are we talking?"

"Six figures per month. Most of it in consulting fees, royalties and investment income. I'm not sure what all her investments are. We don't talk about money, our relationship is still really new. Two-story Gramercy Park apartment, shopping on Fifth Avenue rich."

"How did you meet her?"

"It doesn't leave this room. Unless you lie then I will so tattle worse than that one time when you were thirteen."

"Okay."

"I emailed her about becoming a client of her practice but it quickly became something different and we recognized it early so we agreed to pursue a personal relationship before the professional one got started. She was never officially my doctor but a line was crossed that could get her in big trouble and cost her everything. She came from nothing. She's the daughter of a poor single mother but she was lucky enough to be born gifted in Massachusetts and get a free ride to Harvard for it. She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with an Honors Psychology degree and minors in Biology and Classics. So, she can't go back."

"Secret's safe with me. Do you have a cover story?"

"We met online, took things slow with emails and then we decided to meet in person and we quickly fell in love."

"How long did you wait before you two you know, did the deed?"

"Long enough."

"Okay, Piper. Be vague, it doesn't matter as long as you both wanted to, I guess. If she's good to you then that's enough. It's about time you date someone worthy of you."

"She asked me to move in when my lease is up and I agreed. It's a perfect arrangement. I have a problem, we love each other, she has a solution. And I get to wake up to her humongous hot tits in my face every morning."

"How big are we talking," he asked as he motioned his hands in front of his chest like he was playing with a set of large jugs.

I unlocked my phone and showed him a picture of her in a v-neck t-shirt with her makeup done and hair a wavy mess and then showed him her professional headshot.

"Wow. I don't blame you. If a woman like gave me a second glance I'd go for it with no hesitation. You got game, sis."

"I know. Her hips and ass aren't bad either."

"Okay. Back to whatever you were doing. I'll tell mom you were taking a nap. That gives you fifteen minutes to get yourself together."

"You're okay with me being queer?"

"You are dating the hottest woman I've ever seen. I'm cool with anything that involves being in the same orbit as that woman. I'm jealous that you got a hotter woman than I'll ever get but I don't care. You are still my sister and I love you more now than I did when I stepped in this room because now that I know just how courageous and strong you are. And since your picker seems to be way better with girls, I encourage your queerness wholeheartedly. Besides, I get to call her my sister and keep the guys away."

"Like her tattoos, leather jacket and commanding presence need your help? Dr. Alex Vause makes everyone she encounters quiver, it's all a question of how."

"So, she's a ballbusting leather dyke then?"

"First, if I ever hear you call anyone that word again then I will beat your ass and then tell her and she'll beat it again while it still hurts. Second, she's equal opportunity. You make the choice to fuck with her she doesn't care what's between your legs or what size you are. MMA boxing and Cross-Fit are two of her hobbies in addition to her more ladylike ones of reading, cooking, romantic old movies and gardening. She also loves playing cards, she's an amazing poker player and she's teaching me how to beat the house at a casino. We also play gin."

"Well, at least I'll love you and Grandma will love her. She just better never lay a finger on you."

"But that would defeat the purpose. I like her fingers on me, in me."

"Okay. Yeah. You know what I mean. You tell Bill and Carol?"

"Not yet."

"Well you have twenty minutes until I let my sweet nephew do it for you."

"Calvin Chapman," I yelled as he disappeared out the door and I was greeted with a picture of Alex's post-orgasm swollen genitals. And saw him tap on his watch as I was transfixed by my girlfriend's most recent picture but I ignored him and responded to my girlfriend.

_God, babe. Looks delicious. So juicy…I didn't get to finish…my bro caught me_

_Did he see anything?_

_Do I strike you as skilled at sharing?_

_Nope…blanket hog oink oink_

_Sit on my face_

_Gladly…I love how you say fuck you_

_What if I threaten to let people know you bottom for me instead?_

_Everybody already knows you have me whipped…staying home in pajamas all weekend instead of popping my tits out in leather and lace and letting random chicks attempt to peel my way too tight designer skinny jeans off_

_Well you still spend your weekends with your tits out_

_My annoying girlfriend pulling them out of my shirt or rubbing them until I strip my shirt off doesn't count _

_What I like you topless…you have amazing tits…is that so wrong? _

_When it's all the fucking time it is_

_Aww…Poor Vause, has a woman who wants to spend all her spare time pleasuring her hot tits…what a rough life_

She sent me back an emoji rolling its eyes and I turned my phone off and put it in a drawer and headed downstairs.


	24. Chapter 24

When I got downstairs my parents were sitting on the couch with fresh drinks in their hands and Geo was on the floor scribbling in a Batman coloring book with erratic strokes. I looked over at Cal and he winked quickly to tell me the drinks were him.

"Hey sis, you have a good nap?"

"Yeah it was very refreshing," I glared at my brother, making sure he knew I was planning on killing him later.

"You know, Piper we've been worried about you. You seem so exhausted all the time lately. It's okay to admit that you need to hire some help. And the offer still stands," My mom said as I sat down.

"Seriously, you are still trying to get your hands on my son? That will never happen. For the millionth time, never. If I was going to give him up for adoption to you than I'd have done it by now. As in long before he formed an attachment and the ability to remember me!"

"Geo, c'mon, let's leave the adults to talk."

"But Uncle Cal I coering!"

"We'll go somewhere fun, promise. I miss you, bud. Come spend some time with your favorite uncle. I hardly ever get to see my best little buddy."

"Okay."

On his way out, Cal rubbed my shoulder and whispered, "It'll be okay."

"Don't spoil his dinner."

"I won't."

Once Cal and Geo had left the house I looked back at my mom and took a deep breath.

"I'll admit I've been tired lately and I need help with Geo. And there's a reason."

"Is it your new man? I hope you are being careful and I'm not just talking about using protection to avoid another accident you can't afford. I was willing to take George because every woman is entitled to one mistake in her life but if you conceive another child out of wedlock you are on your own and I will not consider the child a legitimate member of this family. Some men date women to get to their kids for immoral purposes. When were you going to tell us?"

"I'm not seeing a guy."

"George said something about someone named Alex. Must be pretty serious to be texting on a holiday instead of spending time with your families. Especially, to ignore the child you claim to love so much."

"There is an Alex. But Alex is a woman."

"Are you saying that you're gay? But you can't be gay."

"Why not?"

"You aren't that type of girl. Sure, you were good at sports and you've always been more masculine than I would like. It was always a fight to get you into a dress and curl your hair. Doesn't look like you mind perms now," she said as she looked at my meticulously styled hair, "You never had trouble getting the boys. You made a child with a man you were in a serious relationship with through making love."

"There is no one type or another. Gay people don't look or act a certain way. And I'm bisexual, which means I can make love to a man or a woman and have the same feelings. The gender of my partner doesn't matter, all I care about is the connection we share. I just want to connect intellectually, spiritually, romantically and sexually to my partner, the physical body doesn't matter. I'm deeply in love with a woman. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She loves me and she cares about my son. She wants to take care of both of us. Do you remember how I used to always say I wanted fiery passion but also tenderness? But everybody said it wasn't possible? Well, I found the perfect person who is everything I wanted in a lover and a partner. She wants to help raise Geo."

"I don't know why you named him George if you never call him that. It's a sturdy, classic name."

"Really that's all you got from that?"

"Have there been others?"

"I kissed girls in high school and college, went on a few dates, danced, had sleepovers that toed the line but never more until her. Never anything with any real commitment."

"So how do you know this is a lifestyle you want to commit to?"

"I've known I was bisexual since I was eleven but chose not to give in to my feelings for women. I was able to form genuine connections to men and be fulfilled through my relationships with them so I focused on pursuing that and figured I'd just never act on my ability to have the same kind of relationship with a woman. I know I've never felt the way I feel with her. I like being with her and I miss her every second I'm not. We love each other. We do everything couples do and we enjoy it."

"Piper!"

"Well, you asked, mother. I like having sex with her, there."

"Tell me this one at least has a job with a decent salary. Tell me she's not some slacker Bohemian creative type. I'll even settle for some pantsuit wearing social justice warrior professional activist lawyer at this point."

"She's a doctor and med school professor at NYU. She makes nearly three million dollars a year and lives in a huge Manhattan apartment."

"What's her specialty?"

"Psychiatry primarily and Obstetrics secondarily."

"That's a decent specialty. Makes good money. Tell me she's not the masculine type."

"No. She wears more makeup than I do and spends more time on her hair in a morning than I do in a week. She does have an affinity for black and she has multiple tattoos. She has some masculine interests and a commanding presence but nobody would confuse her for anything other than a respectable, feminine woman."

"And her parents?"

"She never met her dad and her mom was a struggling single mother. She's been on her own since she was fourteen. She's super smart and went to Harvard as a teenager."

"Harvard?"

"Yeah, Harvard. With honors and a 3.95 GPA and two minors in addition to taking her pre-med classes."

"She's the opposite of everybody you've ever dated in every way."

"And maybe that's the point," I responded as my grandmother walked into the room from the kitchen where she was tending to the variety of dishes she was cooking for the evening's feast.

"Hi, sweetie, where's Geo? I just got his school pictures and he's getting so big!"

"Cal took him on an outing, I needed to talk to mom and dad."

"Everything okay?"

"Let's go get some tea in the kitchen."

"You're worrying me, sweetie. Are you sick? You've been so worn down lately and you look so skinny, not as skinny as you did back in July but still too thin. Are you eating okay? Do you need money? You know you can always come to me if you are struggling."

"I'm fine. I just need to tell you something that might be hard to hear."

"Piper, don't burden my mother with this," my father hollered as we headed to the kitchen.

Once we were standing around the counter with two cups of organic peppermint tea Celeste looked at me, "So, what is it? I've always told you that you can come to me with anything."

"I've been seeing a woman and it's gotten serious. We're planning to move in together in January. We're in love and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. She's everything I ever dreamed of and everyone said I'd never find."

"As in romantically," she lowered her tone, "sexually?"

"Yes. I'm bisexual. I've been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember and have made out with them since I was a preteen but I never thought I'd date one. I made a choice that since I was sexually attracted to men to solely act on that attraction. I met Larry right out of college and he was sweet and caring. He was the first guy to care about what I liked and wanted until things got too real for him and he wasn't ready to be a twenty-four-year-old father but he was ready to cum inside a woman. He's twenty-seven and still not ready but I didn't get that choice. When things blew up in my face with Larry and I had a baby who needed all the attention I could give him I figured I'd just forget about any part of me that was sexual either way and just be a devoted single mother to my precious boy. I had my baby, what did I need sex and a man for? But then I started having this nagging feeling that something was unresolved. There was a part of me I needed to let out. Then I started chatting with this intelligent, funny woman who made me smile and I found myself fantasizing about as I fell asleep. Then it started happening at all hours of the day. Then I met her and she was gorgeous. After our first date, she asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes. She's the one, grandma."

"And how's Geo taking all this?"

"He just wants his mommy not to be sad anymore. He's smart and already knows love doesn't have a gender. He was born in Park Slope, lesbian moms are normal to him."

"I think we're born knowing that, just society makes us forget it. Love isn't about having a husband who will make your Christmas card pictures look good. Maybe your mother buys that but I don't. Love is so precious. So if you've found the kind of love where you instantly know it's right, you hold onto it with everything you have. You are lucky to find that kind of love. So, tell me about this woman."

"Her name is Alex. She came from a disadvantaged background but she was one of those child geniuses so she got into Harvard as a teenager then went to med school in San Francisco and now she's a well-respected psychiatrist and professor. She's a lot older than me but I'm a young mom, I need someone with some maturity. She loves books and shopping as much as I do. The beach centers and relaxes her as much as it does me. She likes her space and she's introverted despite having tons of friends and being the life of the party. She loves classic movies and nice restaurants. Her favorite food is coq au vin. She loves cold brew with almond milk and just a little bourbon. She has long dyed black hair, green eyes, black glasses. She has a perfect body, tall and well you probably don't want to hear more."

"You'd be right. How much older?"

"Almost ten and a half."

"Well, I always have thought you had an old soul. I'm guessing your parents aren't taking it well?"

"No. They refuse to believe I have the capacity to fall in love with a woman. It's just another thing for them to be ashamed about. Getting pregnant and giving birth out of wedlock. Refusing my baby daddy's insincere marriage proposal. Raising my baby alone. And now my foray into lesbianism. I'm a disgrace."

"Piper, I never want to hear you say that again! Loving your child, choosing to raise him and being willing to accept whatever struggles or consequences that come your way isn't wrong. Leaving a man who mistreated you and physically hurt you was the best thing you could have done. You don't want your son thinking that's okay. That anything a woman does could make her deserve to be abused by someone bigger than her, even if she did hit him first or verbally assault him first. Men are expected to conduct themselves a certain way even when women don't act like ladies. You fell in love with a human being who treats you right and wants to build something with you. If you being a single mom or in a lesbian relationship makes them ashamed of you then so be but know I'm so proud of you. You have always been so strong. They just want your life to be easy, but that's not the cards you drew in this life. So, love who you love and treats you right and raise your son to be a good, respectful, considerate man and keep your head up."

"Thanks, Grandma. I love you.

"I love you too, Piper. Be true to yourself and set a good example for your son. That's all I ask."

"I can do that."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Here's a long one but it's a big one...Geo and Alex finally meet...I hope you like reading the bond between these two as much as I like imagining it and writing them...even if it forces me to tone down the heat but there are a few moments that approach steamy.**

"Mommy, I don't know what to wear," I heard from Geo's room seconds after I finished responding to a similar text from Alex, _Honey, I don't know what to wear…I'm so fucking nervous and that's so not me. _I told her just tone down the sexiness and dark makeup and wear something comfortable that she wouldn't mind ending up ruined.

"You too, baby?"

"Yeah. What if do something wrong? An' Alex leaves you. Then you be sad mommy again. Then I be sad. Want her like me."

"She already does. She cares about you so much already."

"Mommy nervous win meet Alex?"

"Yes," I took a deep breath as I wondered how to explain the line between girl friends and girlfriends to my toddler but of course I didn't have to.

"Mommy afraid you no want kiss Alex? Like talk girl and make smile but that no mean want kiss. Like talk girls but kiss yucky!"

"Hey, kissing is fun, just learn how to tie your shoes first before you start trying to kiss girls."

"Then I never wanna learn how to tie my shoes!"

"You say that now, buddy. Kissing girls is kinda the best thing known to humankind. I wasn't sure if I would like her as more than a friend when I met her in person. I liked talking to her and I had a strong feeling I might like to be more than friends but I knew that wouldn't be enough."

"What you do with her?"

"Cuddle. Dance. That's all I'm telling you until you're much older."

"Or I catch you. Zach catched his mommies when they were cooking. But his mommy had her hand down his mama's sweats and they were kissing. They thought he was watching cartoons with his cousin but he wanted juice."

"We touch parts that you should only let someone you really love and trust touch. We enjoy expressing our bond through touching each other's bodies and kissing. And that's okay and someday it'll be okay for you too."

"When?"

"About ten years. Now get dressed, you have five minutes."

"Yes, mommy. Spider-Man shirt and jeans. Need help with button and dipper."

"Of course, baby. And I got you some new shoes. Red Converses. I was going to wait until Christmas but Alex will think they're cool. You have to be really good though."

"Want Alex think me cool!"

Half an hour later I was pulling on my coat after getting him buttoned into his and grabbing my purse.

"Mommy pretty."

"Thanks, you ready, baby?"

"Yeah, wait," he ran to the coffee table and grabbed a piece of paper he had been coloring on while I finished getting ready, "Make present for Alex, Mommy!"

"What a gentleman. She'll love it!"

"Love you, Mommy! I glad you my Mommy!"

"I'm glad I'm your Mommy, too," touseled his hair and took his chubby little hand and led him out of our tiny apartment and onto the street as he jumped around without losing his grasp on my palm and talked excitedly about the cartoon he had watched while I got ready. I couldn't help but smile as we walked the three blocks to our favorite pizza place as I enjoyed the feeling of the chilly setting sun and my toddler full of energy and passion, it helped me focus on what was truly important instead of my fears. When I walked in the wood-paneled restaurant my eyes instantly fell on my raven haired girlfriend with her perfectly manicured deep red fingers wrapped around a beer bottle. I gave Geo a dollar in quarters and shooed him over to the arcade.

"Buy candy?"

"As long as you leave me alone for ten minutes, sure. If you're good maybe I'll help you with the claw machine."

"We never win!"

"Maybe this time we will. And if we don't then we'll just go to the toy store like we always do. Now go."

I watched him run over to the corner with a bunch of machines as I walked over to Alex.

"Hey, baby. Where's mine?"

"You want some," she took a big gulp, "come get it."

"That's how you want to play this, Vause. You're lucky I like kissing you so much."

We locked lips as her sip of beer slipped into my mouth followed closely by her tongue. I forgot about everything else until I heard a little voice.

"Mommy?"

I pulled away from my make-out session and looked down at my son with melted candy in his hand.

"Hi, baby. You spend all your quarters already?"

"Yeah. This better be Alex! Or you go time out, Mommy!"

"And you must be Geo," Alex answered as I slunk back into the booth, unsure what to do now that I'd gotten caught by my toddler before he even officially was introduced to my girlfriend. Alex quickly shifted gears as she put out her hand to Geo and he shook it, "I've been looking forward to meeting you. Let's find a wipe for those hands," she said as she helped him up and started shuffling through my purse for baby wipes as she smiled at me. She pulled one out of the package and started wiping his hands and cheeks, making him laugh as she tickled his nose with the wipe. I was still embarrassed and unsure how to make up for my foible but Alex being the forever the cool, calm and collected woman I fell madly in love with instantly took over anything resembling parenting duties.

"So Geo, what do you like on your pizza," she put her arm around him and he tentatively climbed onto her lap and was greeted by a hand around his back as their eyes met.

"Have anything?"

"Except pineapple because fruit doesn't belong on pizza. As many toppings as you want."

"Sausage, mushrooms, regular olives not the yucky ones Mommy likes, tomato and lots cheese but not much red sauce. I like the spicy red sauce, not the one for kids! It taste like nothing!"

"Oh, you are definitely your mother's child. One hundred percent Piper, as promised. That sounds yummy, though. What does your mom like?"

"Eggplant, tomato and mushrooms."

"God, she has weird eating habits," hearing her mention that and the glare complete with a raised eyebrow that accompanied it when I was already hot for her and beginning to feel the now familiar clawing desire for her made me even more flushed but Alex didn't seem to care. She just smirked and went back to her conversation with Geo, it was becoming quite clear that I was no longer the most important person in the room but I'd willingly give up my reign if it meant my son got a bit of the attention and care Alex was so good at giving.

Still, I decided to tease her, "Guess this is what happens when you give a forty-year-old educated career woman with a ringing biological clock. You end up replaced in a second."

"Aw, stop sulking. He's so cute and we have so much in common."

"I didn't think you were into sausage."

"On pizza I do. Cause fish taco pizza isn't a thing and I really don't want to try to make it one. Now cut it out, Pipes."

"And feta cheese," Geo interrupted before things could go any further. That kid had impeccable timing, just like the woman who was currently holding him. The longer I sat there the more I saw similarities between the two.

"We'll get her a small and you and me can split a medium. Let your mom have her weird veggie pizza. Cause we want her happy. That's all you need to know about girls, bud. Keep them happy and you get to live. Especially strong, feisty girls like your mother. There's a reason I had to kiss so many frogs before I was ready for a girl like her. If you don't, well you really don't want to find out. What kind of salad do you like?"

"Just pizza."

"You want to be big and strong like me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you gotta eat your veggies. So salad?"

"Greens and tomato. With mozella cheese."

"That's your mom's favorite too. You want milk?"

"Spite?"

"Does your Mommy give you soda?"

"Yes," he answered without wavering and with sweet doe eyes and a dimpled smile I knew Alex would recognize well but I decided to see how it played out.

"You know lying will only hurt you. Sure, I'll be hurt but it'll hurt you more. Lying makes your tummy feel yucky and then you might have to go to the hospital because your Mommy thinks you are sick for real. So, do you want to change your answer?"

"Sometimes if me good."

"You already had a handful of candy. And it's dinner time. That's a lot of sugar right before bed. So, you can either have soda or we can split a scoop of ice cream after dinner. But you have to brush your teeth and go to bed on time. And be extra good for your Mommy, she works very hard and she's tired."

"Ice cream!"

"That's what I thought. You want to help me order?"

"Can I, mommy? Pease! Pity pease?"

"Yeah, please, Mommy, I promise I'll behave," Alex teased and any lingering embarrassment I still had melted away as I broke down laughing and shaking my head at the two loves of my life begging please.

"Go on you two. Just you better bring the kiddo back, Al."

"I'll think about it," I watched as Alex lifted him gently off her lap, slid out of the booth and took Geo's hand and looked down at him with a smile as he skipped along next to her talking a mile a minute about superheroes, preschool cartoons and LEGOs in response to her asking him about his hobbies like she didn't already know exactly what his favorite things were. I was sure he was going to drive her crazy before we ever took a bite of pizza but she looked fine, she was even responding. Was there anything my girlfriend wasn't an expert at? As long as it benefited me or my child I didn't care about the answer to that question.

Minutes later the two came back, Geo holding a kid-sized cup of milk and a number and Alex two glass bottles of beer. Alex helped Geo onto the bench opposite from me and then slid in next to me and put her arm around me and recognized the tiny shred of embarrassment I couldn't quite shake. She pulled me in close as Geo played dinosaurs with the shakers and number on the table and kissed my ear before whispering, "Babe, it's okay. Do we need to discuss what he's seen? I don't think you want me to remind you what he saw his daddy do to his mommy when he was a baby. Seeing his mommy make out with her girlfriend before he officially meets her doesn't even make the list of childhood traumas after what he's been through in his nearly three years on earth."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Alex quickly but tenderly kissed my lips and rubbed my back before letting me go and we both took a sip of our IPAs. It tasted stronger than what I was used to but I liked it so I checked the label and it was from a small Brooklyn based brewery. I knew this wasn't Alex's choice, she liked her hearty German beers after spending a year living and studying there and all the trips since then but she knew it was exactly what I would like. I almost forgot I was drinking beer with my girlfriend in front of my young son, two things I had never thought I would do separately much less together until I heard him look up from the pretend play that Alex had at some point joined in on, Mommy, a lady thought Alex was my mom! She thinked I comed from Alex's belly! She said I was adorable and so well behaved and that Alex was a good mommy. She say I have her build and face and I'm gonna be tall like her!"

I looked at him for a minute and recalled every time people who knew both me and Larry pointed out traits, both physical and personality related, that resembled neither one of us and then looked at Alex as I saw every single one in her. "What did Alex say," I asked Geo, genuinely curious how she would respond because honestly, I wasn't sure how I would.

"She just said thanks. Alex lied. Lying wrong. Alex even say so! It makes you sick but she lied!"

"Sometimes it's okay. The truth is complicated. The truth is Alex loves you like a mom already. And denying that love isn't going to do anyone any good."

"But she's not my Mommy, you are!"

"What part didn't you like that she called herself your mom or let someone believe you came from her tummy?"

"Her tummy. Cause camed from your tummy! No want come from other tummy! Like Alex a lot. But no want comed her tummy. Like peoples think she mom! She cool!"

"Okay, then Alex unless you spent eighteen hours in active labor you don't get to let people think you gave birth to the kiddo. He could pass for yours and all three of us are happy about that but you didn't get fat and wake up fifty times a night to pee. If you want that experience go ahead. It sucks from beginning to end but it has its definite rewards. Just tell people your girlfriend gave birth to him and you are helping to raise him because you are. It doesn't diminish anybody's role in this situation. You are already somebody in his life and we both want that. We are a queer family and you are a famous lesbian sex therapist, so why hide your sexuality to avoid mom judgment?"

"It just felt good. It made me feel like a mom for the first time instead of somebody who is treated like an animal researcher at the zoo by other moms. For a moment, I wasn't an outsider. But I know I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry that I hurt you and Geo. I want to find my place in this family but lying about my role won't help anyone inside or outside of this family. I won't do it again."

"Geo, what do you think, should we accept Alex's apology?"

"She seems pretty sorry. I think she needs a hug."

"I think so too," I reached my arm over and let her head fall onto my shoulder as I smoothed my fingers through her hair, "So, baby, what do you want to call Alex?"

"I can call her anything I want?"

"Yeah. But you can decide to call her something else later as you get to know each other better, as long as it's nice," I added as I imagined a still stubborn teenaged Geo arguing with his other mother and calling her a bitch or hearing me call her an asshole one too many times before he had a real understanding of what that word meant.

"Zach calls his moms mommy and mama. Or Mas when he wants them both. I like that but with o instead of a. Momma Alex and Mommy Piper or mommies. And you two call me baby and buddy. Look pizza!"

The server set down the pizzas and salad and Alex served the three of us food, without me even telling her she needed to cut his into smaller bite-sized pieces. We sat there for an hour talking, Geo leading the conversation and asking all about Alex and what she was like at her age and telling her his favorite mommy-son memories while we ate. Once the food was done Alex got another round of beers for us and some water for Geo before taking him over to his beloved claw machine and using her mathematical genius brain to win him a stuffed cow and with that her role in his life was permanently cemented as he skipped eagerly back to the table where I was texting with Lorna about how the night was going.

"I think I need to email my physics professor and apologize for telling him I'd never use physics after college. I was going to be a doctor and didn't understand why I had to take any science other than biology and chemistry. But the first time I needed to make an impression on my future kid without spending more than the toy was worth it sure came in handy."

"Yeah."

"Momma, what name him?"

"Newton. After the famous physicist so Momma never forgets that physics is useful."

"Newton," he wriggled the fat stuffed cow and looked at his face, "I like it. Momma, get ice cream now? Can we? Can we?"

"Wow, you have some memory, kid. He is just you with a Y chromosome, babe. In so many ways," she reached her arm around me and tickled my side until I kissed her neck and she kissed my cheek before our moment was interrupted by a curious, science obsessed toddler, "Momma, what's a Y chomome?"

"It's this tiny piece of our genes that makes me and your Mommy and me girls and you a boy."

"But Mommy said sometimes boys are girls and girls are boys!"

Alex raised her eyebrow and almost gave him an icy glare before he realized the person outsmarting him was the brown-eyed two-year-old male version of me and rolled her eyes with a chuckle, "And she's right. Sometimes what somebody's genes say and their brains tell them are different."

"Why?"

"Hormones. They are the chemical part of us and sometimes biology and chemistry don't agree."

"That why you and Mommy love each other and not boys?"

"It's a little of both. Sometimes genes do things people don't expect. And then hormones make two people fall in love."

"Cool. I glad you love Mommy. Can we get ice cream before Mommy tells us it's too close to bedtime for sweets?"

I hid my smile at their exchange, as if I'd tell either one of them that they couldn't have ice cream after that conversation. We walked a couple of blocks with Alex in the middle, one hand tucked in mine and the other being tugged by Geo as we tried to have a romantic evening walk. Alex bought us ice cream and walked us home with a kiss for me and a hug for Geo. I wanted to invite her in and I was sure Geo wouldn't have minded but I didn't have an amazing meticulously designed apartment with expensive modern furnishings. Most of my stuff had come from flea markets and thrift shops and had no singular design identity. I didn't want her to see just how difficult my life was and how unsuitable my home was for myself and my child.


	26. Chapter 26

A couple of weeks later Lorna and I were in my bathroom and she was putting the finishing touches on my makeup before the NYU med school holiday party while Geo bounced around.

"I swear you fed that kid sugar all day long because you knew Auntie Lorna would be stuck with him all night. And here I was thinking you loved me. That we were becoming best friends."

"He wanted to make sugar cookies for school time, so of course I let him."

"How's the whole unschooling thing going?"

"He's doing really well. It's exactly what he needed. His preschool was great at encouraging his imagination but it wasn't intellectually stimulating enough for him. I'm starting to think he was just bored. I haven't asked Alex about it but I think he's gifted and everybody was wrong when they assumed he was the ADHD son of a young single mom. What if I'm not a bad mom and he's not a hyperactive kid? What if he's like Alex? I never even imagined he might be until I started considering the similarities between him and Alex. She hasn't told me much about her toddler years and I haven't had much time to talk to her since the pizza place. I know it's not her area of expertise but she knows the tests and signs both personally and professionally. I don't think I knew how ready he was for school until I pulled him out of it if that makes any sense."

"You should talk to her. I mean tonight because tonight is about having a good time and introducing yourself to Alex's coworkers. But if she doesn't know then I'm sure she knows someone who does. No parent should go through life thinking they or their child are bad because they don't fit what society says they should be. He is definitely more advanced than my nephew who is around his age and Finn eats sand and tries to play with poop, so we don't need to talk about his intellectual development. Polly can't pay me enough to watch that kid, he's going to skate through life with C's and Polly won't care because at least he'll have attended the right schools. Your kid is the only kid I've ever asked, 'do you really want to eat that?' You've always known in your heart he was fine, he was just a unique kid like his mother. Taya still pissed?"

"Yeah. She's talking to me again at least. I'm home all the time right now, there's no reason to send him to daycare. How's it working for the Queen Bitch every day?"

"I want to kill her! Everybody's saying you left PoPi, is it true?"

"I'm still an owner but I'm pretty hands-off except for approving major final decisions. She does what she wants with the day to day operations and product development."

"What are you doing for money, I mean other than Alex?"

"I do her cause I want to not cause I get unfettered access to her money. I'm still getting paid my salary plus residuals and I got my year-end bonus. The best part is that I get to stay at home and make cookies in my pajamas with my son and get paid. I got pregnant right after PoPi was born and didn't let an unplanned pregnancy get in my way. It's been nice to slow down a bit. And I'm working to take Alex's business to the next level and help it make the biggest impact possible. We are finally opening the community pharmacy for psychotropic and STD/AIDS medications as well as hormones and birth control in February so I've been doing a lot of marketing and outreach for that. And I'm on the hiring committee for an assistant psychiatrist and ensuring her hires reflect the community it serves because I'm currently the only non-lesbian identified person connected with her business. I'm working to make it more bisexual and pansexual friendly. And she's looking for someone who identifies as trans or gender-variant to join the staff, preferably an MD or NP."

"And does she pay you?"

"She's offered but I'm not sure I want her to. We're getting ready to join our households and she never tells me I can't buy something I want. I support her because I believe in what she's creating for the queer community. I would do what I'm doing for free even if I didn't love her."

"You deserve a cut at least."

"I'm really not interested in being her employee, she already thinks she's the boss of me enough. But don't worry if she fucks up, I'll make her pay. She successfully dodged galimony once but this time it'll be a little harder to do. And I won't have to resort to blackmail, I have receipts and text messages and one hell of a sob story. And the person who made Silvia's galimony suit go away is on my side."

"Sounds like you know what you are doing."

"Hmm, I'm wearing a black Prada dress with black Gucci heels and a matching bag for a Christmas party. I'm pretty sure I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm still so nervous. Tonight is a big deal. If Alex doesn't get tenure she is going to lose her job as a professor and likely at the hospital too. NYU is the currency that gets her the fame and all her extra side money that funds her lifestyle. If I don't make a good impression tonight it'll cost her when she goes up for tenure next month. She makes decent money as the medical director of Artemis but it can't maintain her current lifestyle on its own."

"First, sweetie, don't put so much pressure on yourself. Alex got herself in her predicament, don't take it on. I know they want to see her living a lifestyle suited to the elite levels of already elite academia but it's not your fault she's on her final last chance with NYU and at risk of losing her career. She needs to take responsibility for her mistakes and you need to let her. She allowed her life to spin out of control and chose to date someone involved in some shady shit because she was scared that was the only love she was worthy of. Nothing that happened in either of your lives before you two met is the other one's fault. All you can do is try to help each other move on. Alex is doing that by taking responsibility for a child whose father has skipped town knowing that in a few months the state will terminate his rights for abandonment. And you are getting ready to schmooze with a bunch of doctors and putting everything aside to build her dream when yours has become a nightmare."

"What if I can't be what she needs me to be? She needs a society wife that I'm not sure I can be. I didn't go to Smith to become some blonde trophy wife."

"I get it. My family thinks I'm weird because I'm twenty-five and not married to some Italian guy in a good trade working on my second baby. I put up with the boss from hell because I know that's the beauty world and I have to put up with it if I want a career. Women don't have those in my family. I want a partner, I don't want to be alone all day with too many kids and a man who thinks his only job is to bring home a paycheck. But you were born to be a society wife. And being younger and blonde doesn't mean you are a trophy wife. They are two completely different things. And being a society wife isn't necessarily a bad thing. From the time I started working at Popi I have always admired how you did things on your terms so do this on your terms. You don't have to do things your mother's way. I think there's room in the world for queer society wives and I'm sure you aren't the only one. You can do this. And anybody who doesn't love you is insane."

"How do I look?"

"If Alex doesn't wet herself the second she sees you, I'll have to steal you from her cause you are gorgeous."

"You know I'm not worried about that."

"You'll be the envy of every doctor at the party."

"Are you sure?"

"Geo, come here buddy," Lorna hollered out the door towards the living room.

I instantly heard the pitter-patter of little feet, "Yes, Auntie Lorna."

"Your silly Mommy doesn't think she is beautiful and going to own Momma's party tonight. What do you think about that, buddy?"

"Mommy crazy! Mommy pretty always! You always help Mommy look so pretty."

"Am I the prettiest mommy in the whole world?"

"No."

"No?"

"No see Momma yet! I miss Momma."

"Momma's been busy at the university this week, it's finals week but in two days she gets to go on vacation for two whole weeks. But I haven't seen or talked to her much either so I miss her too."

"Then go Chicago week?"

"Yeah."

"Want Momma take me! You could come too, Mommy."

"How sweet of you to invite me on your imaginary vacation with your other mother. But Momma has to work when she's there. She has writing sessions and board meetings."

"That's why she needs me! So she play!"

"And what would I do on this trip?"

"Give her kissies!"

"Mommies would have to discuss it."

"Learn lots, Mommy! You school so it be fid tip! Coolest ever fid tip! Please, Mommy?"

"We'll see, buddy. But Momma might want to concentrate on work when she's there. Anything else you want me to tell Momma when I see her tonight?"

"Give her this," he reached his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly.

"So hug my girlfriend, easy."

"Who be here when me wake up?"

"Auntie Lorna. I'm going to sleep at Momma's house tonight."

"Want sleep at Momma's! Or Momma sleep here! Want show Momma my toys! Pomise me share, Mommy. Me make Momma at home!"

"Mommies are going to be out really late tonight and we need some grown-up time so we can play with you all weekend. We might be taking you for a special surprise Saturday afternoon if you are good," I told him as I knelt and looked in the eyes of my fearless toddler who probably knew more about Alex and her love for us than I did. I wished I could go back to the days when I had even half the confidence and self-esteem as my toddler. I hugged him one last time as my phone dinged to tell me the Uber I scheduled had arrived, "Mommy has to go see Momma at the university. I'll miss you so much."

"I have fun with Auntie, you have fun with Momma!"

"Is that your way of saying you won't miss me?"

"Yeah. Play dress up with Momma."

"Okay baby. Lorna, I left some cash on the kitchen counter. Feel free to order dinner, stream a movie tonight after he's in bed. And don't sleep on the couch again, sleep in my bed."

"Yeah where you do things with your girlfriend," she teased as Geo ran back to his crayons.

"My girlfriend has never been inside this apartment."

"Doesn't mean you don't do things with her on that phone in your purse. You've told me you do. And I think it's time you changed that, don't you? I mean unless I'm wrong and you haven't spent the past five months imagining her in your bed, we both know you aren't that much of a bottom. I'm fine on the couch."

"Suit yourself. If there are any problems don't hesitate to call me. I'll have my phone on."

"Nope, I'm calling Mrs. Miller or my handyman cousin. Now go before your Uber turns into a pumpkin."

"Okay," I walked as best I could in my heels and gave Geo one last hug, "Be good for Lorna. She is one of three people who can punish you without asking me first."

"Me pomise, Mommy. Now stop stalling!"

"Yeah you really need to spend more time with your Momma."

"You ridicus human," he exclaimed, parroting words I was certain he had no idea what they meant but he had heard multiple times already from Alex, "but I love you," and that's how she always finished it. I smiled as I got into my Uber and saw a picture of Alex's breasts peeking out of a strategically placed opening in a high neck sequined silver and black vintage couture dress.

_I don't think you need my help tonight with those girls on full display_

_Believe me this dress is all for nothing without you and guess who gets to get me out of this thing_

_No idea…Nicky get you into it_

_Yup…who got you into yours cause we both know Geo the word zipper isn't in his vocabulary _

_But it's so cute when he says the letter d instead of z_

_Yeah he's fucking adorable and ridiculous like his mother…so who saw my girl naked today?_

_Just Lorna_

_She's allowed I guess_

_I'm so scared about tonight…I'm worried I'll fuck things up for you and you'll get fired…And I'm also worried that I'll become the woman I was raised to be but never wanted to be…I hate that this is my destiny…I love you but I'm worried I won't be able to get past my own roadblocks…that I'll just end up back in the stifling world I ran from when I was eighteen…Lorna told me to do the whole doctor society wife thing on my terms like I do everything else_

_Basically if you can't beat em join em?_

_Yeah but do it in a way that I get the woman I love and a life I can be myself in…I finally feel like myself… I don't want to be that little girl forced to be a little doll again and I don't want that childhood for the kiddo_

_Do you still have that ridiculous idea that I think you are some kind of trophy? You know I don't even like blondes_

_Hey! I can kick you out of your bed…and I will_

_But I love you babe…Evidently I like redheads but love blondes_

_That last s isn't going to get you off your couch tonight_

_You are all the woman I need and everything I never knew I wanted, my beautiful beloved princess who I owe a full body massage with both my hands and my lips_

_In the corseted garter of my choice_

_You drive a hard bargain Pipes…is that an okay use of the letter s?_

_Yes you asshole…now is there another way you would like to use that letter?_

_Sorry baby…I love you for you and maybe I'm not very good at saying that the right way but I say these things the only way I know how and sometimes things come out wrong_

_You're forgiven but you are down to two strikes, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause…You sure everything is going to go okay tonight, baby?_

_Babe, they are so excited to meet you. After my department meeting yesterday afternoon everyone asked if they would finally get to meet my girlfriend at the psych cocktail reception before the med school's party and everyone was so thrilled when I said yes…they are so happy for us…as long as you don't forget how to behave like the nice, educated blonde lady you are in public we'll be fine_

_I'll be the perfect little sub tonight_

_Mmmm…And you will be well rewarded…I might even let you have dom Piper's Christmas present early if you are really good…just mingle and show them that you are capable of dinner party conversation…And remember that they already like you so you don't have to try to make them_

_I just hope I can be enough…I don't want you to leave me_

_Baby, why would I leave the sweetest girl alive? _

_Cause I know your academic career and reputation as an NYU doctor is everything to you…you've spent fifteen years of your life at NYU and you've known me for five months…I'm not going to pretend not to know which is more important and if you lose it all because of me you won't be able to love me anymore because you'll hate me too much_

_Baby, I don't know where to start with that. How close to Langone are you?_

_A couple of minutes away_

_Okay…we'll talk when you get here my love_

Moments later I arrived at the hospital and was on the floor where the psychiatry department was located and walking into the reproductive psychology offices. It was hard to see babies and pregnant women when I was so consumed with fear that I would lose the only person I could see myself doing those things with but I kept walking until I reached Alex's office.

I stood in the doorway until she finally looked up from her stack of what looked like student research projects, "There's my ridiculous human."

"And there's my annoying workaholic. Grading papers in a cocktail dress, really Dr. Vause?"

"I have to get these done so I can spend the rest of the night drinking champagne and kissing my girlfriend. But right now, I have to dole out some therapy to my favorite crazy mother."

"Should I go wait outside then?"

Alex raised her eyebrow and tried to hide her laugh like she always did when she didn't want to encourage my behavior then pushed her chair out from her desk and opened her arms, "Come here, you silly, sweet girl of mine." I came over and sat in her lap as she pulled me into an embrace. I let her heartbeat lull me into calm submission as she rubbed my back and kissed my ear, "Baby, everything I do is for nothing if I don't have you. I will never deny that my career, my life's work is extremely important to me and I chose a career that easily takes up seventy hours a week. Being an academic or a doctor takes enough time and after this past week, I understand why my colleagues always told me it takes a special woman to be the wife of a doctor in academic medicine. Anyone can be with a doctor who works at a hospital or clinic and comes home but the demands on me so are so great. So many people don't just want a piece of my time but they need it. And sometimes I put my seemingly perfectly healthy girlfriend on the back burner when other women need me more but forget that she may not be clinically crazy but she's pretty damn ridiculous when her head gets spinning. I forget no woman could ever need me more than you. I just want to come home to you and I will always want that more than anything in the world. Every second I'm not with you I wish I were. And you are so special, Pipes. I could never hate you and I doubt you could do anything tonight to get me fired. I've been told by the chair of the tenure committee they are impressed by my devotion to NYU, even more now that I have my practice. He asked me why I still wanted tenure and I told him because I believe there is a place for me in academia and I want to inspire the kid who is smart and loves science but doesn't think they can because they are poor or gay or part of any other disadvantaged group. And I want it at NYU they took a chance on a twenty-three-year-old resident and her crazy ideas then they gave me a fellowship in women's psychology not because or in spite of me being a lesbian but because I was the best candidate for the job. They have always supported and believed in me. Other fellowships wanted me because I was this gay rising star in the sexuality world. NYU is the only school to truly see me for what I'm worth and to nurture me. UCSF was a great school but even they only took me as a student because they wanted the attention that having a teenage lesbian genius would get them. So, do I love NYU, yes. Will I always, yes. But I could survive losing it. I could never survive losing you and I could never replace you. If there was another woman as worthy of the life that I have to offer her as my partner I would have found her. If I ever lost my job would you still love me? If I couldn't buy you things and give you the life you deserve would you still love me or do you love Italian designers, Manhattan penthouses and sipping expensive champagne?"

"Yes, I would. If you still had that same heart and treated me as amazingly as you do then, yes. How many people would put everything aside and hold me until I see how stupid I can be?"

"You are silly, sure, but never stupid."

Before she could respond there was a knock on the door and Alex hollered at them to come in and a woman slightly older than Alex with dark ash blonde hair walked in, "Well, Vause, can't say I'm surprised to see you in such a position."

"Funny. I thought I was the only doctor here, Carmen."

"Yes, so you think you can get away with having women sit on your lap in your office! I had an emergency patient who needed a med adjustment. At least I hope that's all she needs. Well, are you going to explain yourself?"

"It's not what it looks like, I swear! This is the only crazy mother I can have in my lap and get away with it cause she's my girl," she squeezed me tighter as I tried to pull off her, "Baby, this is my colleague Dr. Carmen Griffin, she's an expert on mothers of children with genetic disorders. She has a Ph.D. in genetics and an MD in psychiatry. Carmen, this is Piper."

"She does exist! Some of us were starting to wonder. It just seems so improbable that someone would steal your heart. Almost as unlikely as you having one to begin with."

"She does, she did, I do but hate admitting it," she told Carmen before turning her attention to me, "Go be a good little WASP baby and shake hands with my friend," she commanded as she tapped my ass under the desk and I got up and properly introduced myself as Carmen sized me up.

"She's definitely a keeper. You ready to head over to the party?"

"Yeah, this girl didn't come here to watch me grade papers that will still be here in the morning."

"Not looking that strikingly gorgeous, she didn't," Carmen responded.

"But your grading," I interrupted.

"Yeah, and it's not going anywhere. I have a week to get my grades in," Alex got up and grabbed her jacket then put her arm around my waist and led me out of the hospital and to a nearby bar.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: So many new followers lately...hi and thanks for joining my crazy ride, so glad you're here and feel free to make suggestions of things you'd like to see and I'll see what I can do...I'm currently working on two other stories but this is my primary fic (but give those some love too if you haven't yet)...Polly and her shitty attitude are almost gone for good (although she may reappear once towards the end but only to get her just desserts)...This chapter shows our couple dealing with some heavy issues when it comes to jealousy and sex as well as how they exist as a loving couple in a non-gay space...and somebody we all love gets name-dropped at the end and is approximately two chapters from making her first official appearance (and I'm working on another surprise for you guys in the same chapter because I love y'all and putting our favorite canonical characters in my universe.)**

The three women walked into a cozy piano bar in Midtown Manhattan where small groups of well-dressed doctors stood around with martini glasses and trying to keep the topics light and steer away from discussing the latest hot button psychological issues.

"Dr. Vause, so glad you made it. And who is this," a doctor who looked to be in his early sixties walked up to the two of us while Carmen headed for the bar as Alex hollered at her to get a dry gin martini and a cosmo.

"This is Piper, my girlfriend. Piper, this is the head of Psychiatry at NYU, Dr. Jennings. Also known as my boss's boss. This is so nice, you really outdid yourself this year."

"Thank you, psychiatry is finally getting the respect it deserves which means a bigger budget and an endowed chair in LGBT studies opening up in the department," he told her with a wink that I knew meant she all but had the position, "Of course you wouldn't possibly be interested in something like that. There's a ton of committee and oversight work involved with the med school and hospital system that comes along with the job. Curriculum, policies, that sort of thing. Besides, we'd have to do an exhaustive external search before we could bring on an internal hire and I know you hate competition and playing politics. Besides, only tenured professors can apply for internal positions," He winked at her and continued like the digression had never happened, "My new assistant is wonderful. She found this place instead of the same one everyone is tired of going to every year. This must be a new relationship, not just because I had no idea but because you have the glow that only comes from a new love. You two are a beautiful couple and you both look very happy together."

"Yes, we've been dating for a few months but just made it official a couple weeks ago. You know I like to keep my personal life out of the office. I know how people think about me and I don't want that anymore."

"It's good to see you finally settling down a little and devoting yourself fully to the academic life. I'd hate for your lifestyle to force us to lose one of the brightest talents I've seen in my thirty-year career. Your review is on January 18th, right?"

"Yes. I'm so nervous. I know this is it."

"I'll be fighting for you and ultimately if I say you have done as the committee asked than they will go with my recommendation and judging from what I've seen this semester, you have. Come by my office after January 4th and I'll go over your portfolio and we can do a mock review. And consider putting together a package when we officially announce the department's newest position."

"I'll, of course, have to talk it over with Piper. But I'll come by after the break, I'm off until January 8th after Monday, from both NYU and Artemis. Usually, I travel somewhere it's summer but this year I'm just going to hang around New York."

"I've always preferred staycations, myself. We don't spend enough time at home with our families in medicine. Enjoy your night, Dr. Vause and it's so nice to meet you, Piper."

"Thanks," I answered as Alex looked around for Carmen and realized she'd ignored her request to get us drinks.

"Shall we?"

"Yes. I'm less nervous at least."

"I told you, everyone is excited to meet you. Let's go get drinks and then socialize," Alex slid onto a bar stool as an auburn-haired female server checked out her tits and I felt an insane level of jealousy when Alex winked at her but I didn't want to make a scene so I decided to bring it up later and hope that was the first and the last girl she flirted with tonight. She gave our orders to the bartender, a dry, clean martini and I decided to go for the party's specialty drink, a martini made with cranberry called a mistletoe martini as the same server came over with a tray of bacon-wrapped shrimp and asparagus skewers and blue cheese stuffed mushrooms.

"Mushroom," she asked her tits.

"They look so good. And is that bacon shrimp," Alex asked hers.

"Yes, with asparagus and parmesan. And the mushrooms are vegetarian and gluten-free."

"I love my meat and carbs more than anything in the world," she responded as she smiled at the girl, touched her hand with a lingering caress and took a shrimp as the two locked eyes and smiled. I would have killed her right there had it not been for what she did next. She got into the most commanding, domineering posture I had seen from her, smirked and looked over at me sipping my drink in an attempt to calm myself down, "Except my Piper," she curled her hand around my chin and pulled my lips to hers and I put up just enough of a fight to let her know she wasn't forgiven but I enjoyed the kiss anyway. Because really who wouldn't enjoy kissing Dr. Alex Vause, even if she was being an asshole?

"Oh, so she-but you-"

"You really thought this was anything but a game? You are a cater waiter and I'm a doctor, did you really think you had a chance with me? We will never be on the same level."

"I'm in pastry school. I'm going to own the next big cupcake shop."

"Sure, you will because making cupcakes takes so much skill," I couldn't help but laugh at witnessing my badass girlfriend at her finest, "so much in fact that you need to go to culinary school."

"Well, it's not as easy as you would think. It takes technique to make the perfect moist cake."

"Yes, and there isn't a mom with no college degree somewhere making perfect cupcakes tonight for her kid's holiday party. Now quit looking at my tits and making my girlfriend angry and go before I make sure your culinary career ends tonight," I watched the girl storm off and I had to admit it was pretty hot watching her tell off a girl who was more her type than I was and proclaim her love for me in the process. After a few more sips of my drink, I trusted her enough to let her go into the room on her own and I spent the next hour introducing myself to people who seemed genuinely interested in the Smith-grad entrepreneur Dr. Vause had chosen for her partner. Once the party began to break up we walked to a hotel near Herald Square where the university had rented two ballrooms, one for a surf and turf dinner with wine and champagne service and the other for dancing and socializing with an open bar.

"What do you think, babe? You want to dance with your hot, rich, older girlfriend on the dance floor," she asked as she noticed my eyes locked on a dance floor of straight couples but too nervous to admit I wished I were on the floor.

"Well, you are the only person I've slow danced with who didn't step on my toes."

"You can thank God for creating gay male bottoms for that one. Shall we, my lady?"

"Yes," and with that, she pulled me to my feet and I spent the rest of my night slow dancing to Christmasey jazz music in her arms, a few times she even kissed me gently or ran her fingers through my hair or along my side, except for an hour to eat dinner.

We got home just before one am and I flopped down on her couch without even getting out of my heels as Alex stood against the windows that looked out onto the City glaring at me with her arms crossed. I couldn't quite tell if she was being commanding or tender and I was too exhausted to guess.

"So?"

"Whaaatttt baaabbee," I whined.

"Are you going to make me get myself out of this thing? Cause it was tight before all the food and alcohol and now it's so constricting. I just want to free my poor tits and I know you can't cause something you love pain. And they really need your special touch."

"Not tonight, babe."

"That's the first time you've ever said no to me. I must be losing my touch," Alex teased with a cocky smile that I was in no mood to respond to.

"It's been a long night and I'm so tired. I know you bought me these clothes and took me as your plus one to a swanky night out in Midtown and I know I should and it's not that I don't want to but I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I just can't give myself tonight in that way. I don't have anything left. I don't even think I can make it off this couch and out of my dress, let alone get you out of yours. I know all these luxurious things don't come for free."

Alex shook her head and shot me a look that was somehow both angry and tender then sat down on the couch and pulled my feet into her lap, "Do you really believe that? That this is some sort of sexual arrangement? Baby, you are my girlfriend and I love you so much. And I know you are used to having to perform as others want in order to get their love but you don't have to do that with me. I'm not your mom who expects you to be a doll when you prefer recitals to sports. I love when you come home all sweaty from a run and just think, soon you'll be able to go running every single day and there's a gym in the basement of the other building, I just never bothered to pay for access. I love you in old sweats or a baggy sweater and worn jeans. Of course, I like this look too," she teased as she slipped my heels off and gently started expertly rubbing my feet, "and I'm not your exes and certainly not Larry and I've told you this so many times but you don't believe me and I don't know what it's going to take to get through to you, baby. You don't have to do a damn thing. And it hurts so deeply to think you feel you have to. To know that you have lumped me in with that club of motley fools who don't see that you are amazing just the way you are. They want to make you ordinary and take your shine but you are an extraordinary, rare gem. And I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I'm not used to no meaning no. It usually means try harder and I know I'm an asshole. Go ahead, I deserve it."

"Yeah you are an asshole but when you fuck up you sure get apologetic."

"This isn't me apologizing. There is no way for me to apologize for how I made you feel. Because for as terrible as I feel right now knowing the fucked up things you believe and the person you are convinced I am the way you feel is still a million times worse. I know what you've been through and you've told me things you've never told anyone else. As much as it took me to gain your trust, I know it took you a million times more to give it to me. To not just say I want to be with a theoretical woman but to be with me and I mean who wouldn't want this," Alex paused and gestured in the air around her curves as I let out a weak chuckle and she smiled, "Was that a laugh, Piper Chapman? Did I make my girl chuckle?"

"No. I'm really mad at you," I sulked in a playful, sleepy tone.

"Sure, babe, let's see how long that lasts for. How about we get you out of these stockings, I can see the start of a run and I'd hate for that to happen."

"Sure, you can," I teased but my teasing backfired when she all of a sudden stopped rubbing and pushed my feet to the side, "You're kidding, right?"

"Yes. I tried to tease you but I'm slightly less experienced in the art of teasing women."

"And so it shall remain. I will teach you how to fuck me doggy style with my biggest dildo complete with balls and make it an enjoyable experience for the receiver before I teach you that."

"I'm fine with my role in that act, believe me. I like taking it, especially when you grab my hips and pull me hard into you as you pound my pussy hard when I'm right there. I wouldn't mind wearing the dildo but I don't see you taking it from behind, you need to be in control too much."

"Well, look who's being all self-confident and kinky sex-positive. How do you see me taking it?"

"Alex, quit changing the subject."

"What, your own fantasy getting you all wet? Imagining being the first person to fuck this pussy with a phallic object since I turned twenty-one and could buy my own damn alcohol whenever I wanted just too much for that pretty blonde head of yours? Bet you could fuck my tight little golden pussy right. Fill me up good and make me beg for more. Bet you could be the one to make me cum all over your cock."

"Quit it, Alex!"

"Okay, baby, but only because I don't want you stomping out of my house in the middle of the night and ending up dead in a snowbank because with you that's a realistic possibility. My point is I love you. And I don't ask you to do anything other than love me back and share your life with me. I don't expect anything out of you because I buy you things. The things I buy you are for no other reason other than because I want to. I'm not like the boys who would take you to parties and whip their semi-flaccid dicks out at the end of the night and expect you to do something with it when you are both drunk and smell like sweat and beer. I want you to enjoy it and be present for it when we make love. I do think you could use a nice massage in our bed, though."

"As good as that sounds, I'm too tired to move, baby."

"Then I'll carry you."

"All the way upstairs?"

"You doubt my abilities, Pipes? Look at these guns," Alex teased as she flexed her arms and kissed the rose tattoo that covered her upper arm.

"What if I fall asleep lying on my stomach? I want a massage but I don't want to suffocate to death. I mean, sure there are worse ways to die but I kinda want a few more decades with your annoying ass for some unknown reason."

"Then I'll just roll you over like I've done so many times already and tuck you in. I'll even throw in a goodnight kiss on your ear."

"You know this doesn't mean all is forgiven."

"Hey, your shit list is still your list. Can I at least sleep in my bed?"

"Yeah but keep your hands and tongue to yourself."

"Even if you say spoon me, baby, and do that thing with your eyes and beg please?"

"Only if you agree to be my smooshy mooshy marshmallowy teddy bear."

"For life and even when you are deservedly pissed at me. Actually, especially when I fuck up. Let's get you upstairs. You need some water or tea?"

"Maybe just some Aspirin and a bottle of water."

"Okay, baby."

"What time do you work tomorrow?"

"I've got to be at Artemis by 10 and I'm on call tomorrow night plus I have an appointment at the clinic at 4:30. When do you have to relieve Lorna?"

"I gave her the day off from Popi. She told me dealing with my hyperactive toddler was easier than dealing with Queen Bitch."

"I miss the kiddo. You should bring him to the Artemis party on Monday night. Jamila asked me if she could bring her ten-year-old nephew, she just got permanent custody of him, and I told her yes."

"I don't know, he's not usually as well behaved as he was at the pizza place."

"It's at Red's restaurant, it's not fancy, just Russian food and getting drunk on vodka until Red kicks us out and no amount of Nicky begging but ma will convince her otherwise."

"I thought Nicky didn't talk to her mom. And Nicky isn't Russian."

"She doesn't. When she ran away as a teen an older Russian woman everybody calls Red took her in. She had always wanted a daughter but she got two worthless boys and an even more useless husband. But one day he dropped dead from a heart attack and she got the restaurant and an apartment over it. Nicky worked at the restaurant and put herself through school. Red helped as much as she could but she couldn't do much more than keep her fed and a roof over her head. She didn't care that Nicky was gay. But she did get mad when Nicky ran away and started using drugs in the Village for a few months but now, she says it's the best thing that could have happened because she met me and I gave her the things she couldn't. Red would love a couple of kids running around her restaurant. And it's closed so it would just be us. She donates the space; I ask for a bill but she's never charged me for a damn thing. Not even a cup of coffee. Artemis was born in her restaurant. We spent many long hours with Red's coffee pot trying to figure out how to take our business from idea to reality. When we'd get stuck, Red would be the deciding vote."

"Okay, babe. We'll be there. Can we go upstairs before I fall asleep?"

"Yes. You need to be carried?"

"Even if I didn't, I'd say yes just so you'd prove to me you can."

Alex smirked and laughed then got up and whisked me into her arms and laid me down on my side on the bed. She gently unzipped my dress and got me out of my Spanx then gave me a quick massage until I fell into blissful slumber. I was awakened just before eleven to Alex with a cup of coffee and a piece of dry toast with a banana. She kissed me goodbye and another one when she caught me staring at her ass in her tailored black Italian suit and black loafers, "Don't stay in bed all day. It'll make me hate being at work too much." I didn't notice until I fully opened my eyes the glint of silver on the nightstand and a red ribbon with a note,

Merry Christmas, my beloved. This is the first of your many presents. Thanks for being my plus one last night. That key unlocks more than just my front door and no, it's not the extra key you've been using. It only ever has been and only will be yours. All my love, Al

I smiled as I set the note aside and took a sip of my coffee as I looked out on the view of downtown Manhattan from the bedroom window.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Finally, my main story got a little love, hope the long chapter with the introduction of two of our canonical characters and suggestion of a few others will make up for it...also Piper makes a major change while Geo glues himself to Alex, who couldn't be happier. It seems y'all want to read untranslated toddler so he's still linguistically advanced but I left it as I imagine him saying it...the next chapter will finally be a sex scene for these two, it's been a while, I know, I feel it too.**

Monday afternoon I heard the intercom in my apartment buzz a whole fifteen minutes early. Lorna was hanging out in the living room with Geo, she had babysat him while I had coffee with an old college friend who now worked as a physical therapist at a university in Tennessee but was passing through the City on the way to her family's Vermont cabin. When I came home, I told Lorna that if she wanted to stay and keep my son out of my hair for a couple of hours, I would give her a ride home to Queens.

"Shit, she's early," I hollered from my bedroom where I was in full makeup with freshly styled hair, still trying to pick the perfect outfit.

"Bad Mommy," I heard Geo state commandingly from where moments ago he had been building and knocking down towers with Lorna.

As I was about to yell fuck, I heard Lorna holler, "Usually when one's girlfriend shows up at her apartment, she's thrilled to see her. But what do I know, I've only ever dated Italian boys who are looking for a girl to be their mother while also being the mother to their babies. I'm an auntie, I'll take a kid for as long as you want as long as the end is in sight."

"Lorna, would you go outside and show Alex to the apartment before she busts down the door to my building? I'd like to get my security deposit back."

"Why don't you go fetch her yourself?"

"Because I'm still not dressed. Should I go with the purple off the shoulder wool dress or the brown slacks and pink sweater? I hate that Alex wouldn't tell me the dress code for this party. She told me to just wear whatever I wanted. I don't know what to do with that!"

"The dress is hot."

"Or maybe I should just go for my favorite LBD."

"I want to see you in a purple dress when I get back up here!"

"Yes, Lorna," I shouted as I listened to Geo, who was begging to go with her.

"You mind if I borrow your toddler? He's at least excited to see Alex."

"I would have been excited if she showed up on time or today, even late. Why did I think today would be a good day to grab coffee with a lesbian? God, I hope Alex never finds out about it, we had a thing in college but we both have girlfriends who we are happy with. She is prone to jealousy and fear but at least she's been trying harder to be more loving and realizing that cockiness and confidence aren't the same things. She doesn't believe she's good enough for me and so she acts out and tries to push me away. I love her and she's more than enough but words have little effect on her. She believes what she wants."

"Then put on that dress and when the kid is asleep let her take it off. When is the last time you know you and Alex?"

"Two weeks. And as much as I want it to, I don't think it's happening tonight. I'm in the mood but I don't have a babysitter tonight."

"Rip off the Band-Aid," I heard her holler for the millionth time as she headed downstairs with a chattering Geo. As I pulled my dress off the floor I considered what she had commanded, it wasn't the first time we had discussed the inevitable prospect of me having sex with someone within earshot of my son for the first time in his life, just the first time that it was a realistic possibility. Larry had tried a few times when Geo was a baby and I had agreed to let him but he could never get hard enough to even stick it in, let alone finish, because either he'd realize I was lactating or Geo would make a noise and there went any chance of him getting a boner. The first time it happened I tried to get him hard again by sucking his dick but he pulled it out and told me it wasn't working for him. The second time I just let him leave. Every time he tried and failed, he stayed gone a little longer until a process server showed up at my door.

When I did try to date, I quickly learned that guys didn't mind putting their dick somewhere another man had been if there wasn't any irrefutable proof such as incurable STDs or a baby, and a baby was the less preferable of those two options. But Alex was the person who loved planting kisses on the three pale white stretch marks along my left side where I had carried my son for the majority of his time in my belly. And as I tried to zip myself up, I heard my son's footsteps as he did the one thing that I had been too cowardly to do that night just over three weeks ago, he invited Alex into our apartment.

"Momma, pay toys? We pay wee dinos! Or show Legos! Mommy and me work pace 'ip! Amost done!"

"You sure it's okay with your Mommy?"

"Mommy 'fraid. Mommy say 'dults get 'fraid too."

"That's right, bud. They do and when they get afraid it's a lot harder to convince them their fears aren't real. You know fears aren't real, right buddy?"

"Dey dust shawows."

"Yeah, buddy. Fears are just your imagination trying too hard to keep you safe. So, where is your Mommy anyway?"

"Ge'ing pity for you."

"Doesn't she know she's always gorgeous?"

"Need you tell."

"Yeah except your Mommy is the most stubborn, strong-willed person I've ever met and I was raised by Diane Vause."

"Who Danne Wass?"

"That is the cutest mispronunciation of my last name ever. Diane Vause is my Mommy."

"You have Mommy too?"

"Yeah. Most people do."

"Xpect ones wif two daddies!"

"Exactly, buddy! You are such a smart little man! And like your Mommy, she raised me all by myself."

"Daddy no want you eiver?"

My kid was way too smart in all the ways that broke me into pieces but Alex was always calm and able to solve any problem in seconds, "No. But he was a bad man. So, we were better off without him around. We didn't have much money but we had a lot of love."

"See mommy lots?"

"Not as much as I should."

"Me aways want see mommy."

"Me too."

"My mommy or you mommy?"

"Both," just then Alex looked up and saw me standing at the end of my short hallway, smiling and trying not to cry the happiest tears of my life, "Hey, Pipes."

"Sorry I didn't get to clean up. I didn't expect you to come up here. I just thought I'd meet you downstairs. This place is a mess and has a lovely view of the neighbors across the street."

"Why don't you play with Lorna for a little longer, buddy. I need to talk to Mommy," she shifted him off her lap then got up slowly and took my hand as she guided me to my bedroom like she had been there a million times. "First, let's deal with the easiest to solve problem and zip this dress up," she whispered as she kissed up my exposed neck and rubbed my shoulders. I felt her fingers sneak under my primrose and tan bra on her way down to the zipper halfway through my back and felt a surge of arousal forming deep within me.

I knew it was the arousal I had been pushing aside for weeks as work and motherhood took up every spare minute of our time, even eclipsing those few moments we found for each other. I felt her short red acrylic nails scrape along my spine as every hair stood up at even the promise of her touch. She smoothed the dress along my slight curves then kissed my bare shoulder where it met my neck, "You look beautiful, babe."

Are you sure I'm not overdressed," I looked at her in a tight black leather jacket and pants, black lace shirt with navy blue cami and combat boots and back at myself as I scanned the room for my light brown wedge ankle boots.

"You are overdressed no matter what you wear."

"Alex," I screamed while I angrily grabbed up my boots.

"I told you to wear whatever you felt comfortable in? And is this?"

"Well Lorna said this was her favorite."

"Don't worry about me or Lorna. Do you like it?"

"I think it's sexy. And I feel good in it, comfortable not exactly but I feel confident."

"And it fits you like a glove. That shade of purple is your color, Pipes."

"Are those pants comfortable?"

"I feel the same way about these pants as you feel about your dress. Now let's see your palace."

I gave her a quick tour of my pink and grey bedroom, tiny closet, office/dressing area, monkey themed bathroom, the theme chosen in an attempt to get Geo to actually use it and he mostly did, the robot-themed action figure and LEGO explosion that passed for my son's room. As we turned the corner into the living room, Geo saw a flash of Alex and dropped the yellow block he was playing with and came running as he tugged her past the small combined living and dining room and into the tight galley kitchen. She stopped to look at the various Christmas cards and a few paintings scattered on my fridge. They were hung with colorful alphabet magnets and a few souvenir magnets, including one that said Miami Beach and held a picture of Alex and I smiling and holding each other in bikinis, oversized brown straw hats and black sarongs with the setting sun behind us. She smiled at the memory before turning her attention to the free art museum in my kitchen.

"Are these yours," she asked as she lifted him onto her hip to stop him from climbing up her leg then kissed his crown, pausing a moment to smell his hair and pointed at two paintings, one of a robot and the other of a rocket ship flying to the moon.

"Make-ed 'em self! Wa'un you fige?"

"Yeah, why don't you get some art stuff so you can draw if you get bored tonight," she told him as she rocked him on her him then tickled his chest until he kicked her waist and giggled as Alex smiled at seeing my dimples on him, "You ever have Russian food?"

"Nuh-uh. Bu' I tie it. Wike tie dew 'ood!"

"That's good. Go get some stuff to play with as fast as you can, buddy," she set him down and he went running to his art crates on the bottom shelf of my built-ins in the living room. Moments later, Geo came running with his red Converses untied and gripping a backpack in one hand as Alex took advantage of a brief moment of privacy to pull me close and rub the small of my back and gaze into my eyes lovingly.

"Mom! Mom! I wede!"

"Is that so, buddy," she bent down to his level, "And look you put your shoes on without being asked. Such a good little man."

"Tide tie sef."

"It's okay, you'll learn but for now how about I help you?"

"Okay," I watched her tie his shoes while I grabbed our coats and his stroller and diaper bag. The two ran to the entryway and Alex took his coat and helped him put it on while I grabbed my purse then took his folded stroller, that he never wanted to use but I always brought because I wasn't ready to admit my baby was a kid already. I wasn't ready to be done with strollers and it was convenient.

Finally, Lorna made her presence known and appeared in the front alcove where Alex and I were checking one last time to make sure we had everything, "Uhm, Dr. Vause, Piper said you might be able to give me a ride to Queens. You don't have to take me all the way home. I can get a bus, it would just be a shorter trip if you could."

"First, it's Alex, you are one of my girlfriend's friends and Geo's babysitter not my patient but thanks for being respectful, I worked my ass off for my title. You are more than welcome to come to the party. I'll get you an Uber home after."

"I couldn't possibly impose. It's for your company and unfortunately, I still work for Popi."

"Yes, my company that I am the majority owner of and so I choose the guest list. And I say you are invited and not to help with Geo, he has parents for that. You've done so much for us lately, you deserve a little fun. There's all you can drink vodka. And we can always go to Gloria's on the corner if you don't like vodka."

"Well if you insist. It sounds like fun. Is the party um, all, um," she stammered as she tried to find a way to ask if it was a lesbian party without sounding unintentionally homophobic.

"Lesbians? Well except for these two, Red, Malik and Jack. Nicky will probably try to hit on you because she shoots her shot with every female human above the age of consent but I'm not afraid to put her in her place for the millionth time. She will never learn. I'd say the rest but young ears and his mother who could eviscerate me in a second. Come on, Lorna. None of us bite, well unless you ask us to," Alex teased as she pulled me close and nipped my ear and I smiled until I remembered where I was.

"Lorna, come on. You may not work for Artemis but you are part of the family and that's what this party actually is, for family," I opened the door and ushered my son into the hallway as Lorna and Alex followed close behind. Geo asked Alex to carry him while Lorna agreed to join the three of us and we headed down three flights of stairs and to the subway station a few blocks away. The N train arrived moments later and Geo jumped over the small crack under Alex's watchful eye then found two seats for Alex and me in front while Lorna sat a few rows back and Geo sat half on each of our laps, transfixed by the speeding colors as we sped across the City on a rare train ride. Half an hour later we got off the train and emerged onto the streets of Astoria, Queens.

We stopped in a shoebox-sized bodega where Alex sent me and Lorna to get some champagne while Geo stayed glued to Alex's side. And right now, I wanted him to like her more because that meant he was bonding with and looking up to her. The two of us located the wine cooler and began perusing as Alex greeted a Hispanic woman behind the counter, "Hola, Gloria. No girls, tonight?"

"It's fucking three days until Christmas, Doctora Vause. I gave them the next few nights off. It's fucking slow anyway," she answered before she noticed the toddler clinging to Alex's hand. Alex gave her a death glare and Gloria looked apologetic but shocked, "Sorry, Vause. When did you get a kid?"

"He's my girlfriend's kid, his name is Geo. I wouldn't have chosen it but it fits him, so what do I know, I've never named a living creature in my life," she answered as she lifted him onto her hip and he rested his head over her heart.

"Una Novia? That's the only thing that could shock me more than the thought of you adopting a kid."

"Sometimes it still shocks me too but I love her. And I love him so much already. Would you believe this is only the second time we've seen each other? He's just as attached, I'm the shrink and I don't get how but the mother in me doesn't care, it's a blessing I have no desire to question. So many things I used to hear patients say make sense now. I knew the moment I saw him he was meant to be mine."

"How old is this little man?"

"Three on February 25th but he's advanced for his age and a little short for a boy. I know this kid eats, boy does he eat, he's just got his mother's metabolism, nothing sticks to her either. He's being a little unusually shy."

"He's probably overwhelmed and hungry. He's a sweet boy. Let me guess, the blonde one you came in with is his mother?"

"Yeah, she is. My beautiful Piper."

"She's gorgeous, she doesn't look a day over twenty-two but hey, I'm not going to judge. You are a psychiatrist, so I assume you know what you are doing. What does he call you?"

"Momma," Geo perked up a little at hearing Alex use the name he had for her.

"Well, there's that little sweetie. Hi, Geo. I'm one of your Momma's friends, Gloria."

He reached his hand out while Alex tightened her grip on him to keep him from falling, "Hi Gori-uh."

"What's your favorite treat?"

"Hoey Gams and sugar donuts."

"Glazed donuts?"

"No! Ones wid white sugar."

"Powdered?"

"Tink tow."

"Alex, go ahead and get him both of those on me. And get him the Little Debbie ones and I will still need to see your girlfriend's ID before I let you leave here with liquor. I don't want to do it but this store is everything to me and I can't risk it."

"I understand and she owns a business so I'm sure she will too," Alex answered as I came over and set a bottle down.

"Understand what?"

"She needs to see your ID."

"I'm used to it," she reached into her purse for her wallet and pulled out her driver's license, "You know how many people have assumed I had my kid in high school?"

"I had two daughters by the time I was eighteen and two boys by twenty-six, you think you have it hard. I kept the older three, a fifteen-year-old shouldn't be having a baby let alone raising one but abortion wasn't an option. It was a closed Catholic adoption and they wouldn't even tell me if they kept her in Puerto Rico or sent her to America. I wasn't even supposed to know if she was a girl but one of the nurses let it slip when she was born. Then when I had my daughter my family forced me to keep her because, in their minds, I didn't learn my lesson. After that I moved to a country where I could get birth control, it worked until it didn't and then my youngest was planned. And I was done. The one thing I've learned from raising both is that there is nothing like the bond between a mother and a son. He'll always need you. No woman is more important to a well-raised man than his mother. It really is special. And the three of you make a beautiful family. I told Alex she could grab some snacks for your boy on me if that's okay."

"As long as Mommy can get some spicy chips."

"Oh, well, look Reina gringa got flava! I like this chica, Vause. Go ahead, you familia now. You need liquor too or just the champagne?"

"Small bottle of Henny, your best tequila for mi Amor, anything for you, Lorna?"

"Oh, I couldn't take your money."

"You already have without knowing it. What do you like?"

"Peach Bellinis."

"And a bottle of Peach Snapps for the straight one, por supesto."

"Al menos su Novia sabe beber."

"And that girl can drink, she pays for it in the morning no matter what I do but the night sure is fun," Alex responded as she covered Geo's ear that wasn't pressed against her bosom. Moments later, I returned with the snacks, I added a bag of chocolate covered peanuts for her and set them on the counter as Gloria bagged up the alcohol.

"Stop by the salon spa, Aleida has a new girl doing hair, Sophia, she's transgender so she's gotten a lot of flack but she's damn good with hair, the best stylist I've ever been to."

"I will and I'll say hi to Red and Nicky," Alex answered as I grabbed the bags and door as we headed down the block to Red's restaurant.

"Look who finally made it! Mother fuckin' Vause, what busy giving the little woman the ol' Vause stunner?"

"Nicky, look before you talk! My kid doesn't need to hear that language, especially when it references the things I do or don't do with his mother in bed."

"Sorry, boss. Don't fire me. We both know that's not the only place you two do it."

"You own thirty percent of the business, I can buy you out but lucky for you, I can't fire you. But what I can do is kick your ass if you talk about my sex life now that my lover means something to me."

"So, this little squirt is Geo?"

"Yup. Why else would the lucky little guy be snuggling with my boob?"

"I think you need a DNA test. He looks nothing like you and you're shooting blanks."

"Funny, Nicks. Where's Ma?"

"Her office stressing, this year hasn't been great for her."

"If she ever needs a cash infusion-"

"She won't take it from you and we both know it."

"Oh, well. Maybe a new grandson whose momma brings around once in a while will make her feel better."

"You know how she feels about babies and he is an especially cute member of that species."

"He's human, just like you," Alex fired back with a look that could kill if she didn't have Geo in her arms and Nicky sulked in her seat, making it clear she got the message but didn't like it.

"Alex! Piper, almost didn't recognize you standing in one spot instead of the flash I usually see," Jamila exclaimed to change the tone between the two friends before it could infect the rest of the staff. Jamila always seemed to be the peacekeeper and counterbalance between the two.

"Do you prefer working for a happy boss, Jamila? You know I like you."

"Yeah. I'm guessing the boy in Alex's arms is yours," Jamila asked as Alex walked down the hallway by the kitchen.

"Yup. That's the original love of my life."

"He's a cutie," she answered as she pointed to a dark-skinned boy with cornrows working on some math sheets, "This is my nephew, Malik. He's smarter than I could ever hope to be. Would you believe he's doing those by choice? His mom moved to the South but knew he needed an education that was strong in math and science, so he's going to a private STEAM school and loves it."

"I was thinking about that for Geo, he's shown an early interest in engineering. I know he's only two but a mother knows her child."

"It's really nurtured Malik. He either wants to be an endocrinologist or pediatric surgical oncologist and he's able to do career exploration and have his skills encouraged in a way they wouldn't have been anywhere else and his school is diverse. I was worried he'd be the only black kid but there's about fifty in the school of three hundred."

"And that's important, I'm raising a half Jewish kid in a lesbian relationship. Diversity has never meant more than it does now. And I want him to be proud to grow up in a multicultural world."

"Well, that explains the Jewfro your kid has going on."

"Thanks, Nicky. Would you like to come over and do my kid's hair in the morning while all he wants is to run and squirm? I mean since you seem to know more than me?"

"Um, no. Vause may have had a change of heart but I never will."

"Hey, I said never too and look at what I have in my arms. A sweet little boy with gingerbread on his face," Alex interrupted as an older, short Russian woman with spiky reddish burgundy hair and glasses stepped into the dining room, "Babe, this is Red, Ma, this is Piper."

I reached out my hand and she went in for a hug then looked over at Alex, "She seems like a very lovely girl. Piper, you've done a good job with that boy of yours. You raised him on your own?"

"Yeah, even when his father came around, he didn't want to be around him, he just wanted to come over and get his needs met. I never thought anyone could love my son like I do but those two adore each other, which is good since they're the two most important people in my life."

"I always knew Alex had a rare soul and a very special heart and the love and pride I saw from her when she came bounding into my office confirmed my theory as a fact. Alex was born to be a mother, maybe not give birth but she's a maternal woman in her own way. I hope you brought your appetite."

"I'm not looking forward to what these two bottomless pits are going to do to my grocery bill next month," Alex teased as she reached her other arm around my back and kissed my cheek.

"I've been looking forward to it. I honestly can't say I know much about Russian cuisine beyond vodka and even then I prefer Swedish vodka."

"Well, you are in for a treat. Does he need a booster seat? I have one in the back."

"He won't stay in it. He's just like me, a million places at once."

"He's a sweetie though. You let me know if you need anything for the little one. And Malik, that goes for you too."

"Thank you, ma'am," Malik answered as he finally put his worksheets away and Alex set Geo down on the booth.

"Alex, should I bring out the food?"

"Yeah and how about some apple juice for the groggy toddler."

"Of course," she answered as she turned and walked into the kitchen as Alex and I slid into the booth next to Geo.

"So, since there are several new faces here, which means my first baby is growing up just as fast as my second," she looked over at Geo who had decided to get to know his new mom a little better by exploring the contents of her purse and I decided to let Alex decide if she was okay with that action, as long as he didn't find anything he shouldn't, which I hoped he wouldn't but I also knew my girlfriend. Although, she had changed a lot just in the few days since our fight the night of the NYU Christmas Party and become softer and sweeter towards me like she knew she had something to lose if she fucked up.

I turned my attention from the pull to release my inner helicopter mom as my unfazed girlfriend continued, "I think we should start by going around and introducing ourselves and what we do at Artemis. I'm Dr. Alex Vause, as you should all know. I am the medical director, main owner, and staff psychiatrist. Hey little buddy, what are you looking for?"

"Candy!"

"Eat your dinner and behave and you can have a treat. Do you wanna tell Momma's employees who you are?"

"Geo!"

"And what do you at Momma's work?"

"I hadn't beens dere yet."

"Fair enough. We gotta change that," Alex told Geo as she gave him a side hug that he quickly wriggled out of before shooting an icy glare at Nicky moments before she said something inappropriate. She motioned for Lorna to introduce herself. Then Alex's office manager, Carrie-Ann, Keeley, her new nonprofit intern a sophomore at NYU with lesbian moms and a pansexual sister named Jack, her therapy interns Megan and Jenna, Jamila, and Malik, her new pharmacist, a Vietnamese lesbian named Dr. Nancy Tran, then her recently hired part-time therapist Celi before glaring at Nicky.

"And I'm Nicky Nichols and Alex better give me candy later for being kid-appropriate. I am in charge of the business aspects of the center and also a full-time therapist specializing in adult victims of childhood abuse and neglect and will be finally receiving my Psy.D in May."

"If you behave better than my toddler, for once I will gladly give you candy but I think you'd prefer a shot of Henny."

"I'd prefer your babysitter's phone number," she exclaimed with boisterous confidence as Lorna turned red and slunk back into the booth. I couldn't quite tell if this attention was unwanted or not so I let them be adults about whatever attraction they may or may not have had. I liked Nicky. She was a less mature but somehow wiser version of Alex. She was the junkie philosopher and one of those people who didn't hesitate to tell you the hard truth or speak her mind. Nicky was already becoming like the slightly younger sister I never knew I wanted. I'd seen the texts from the guys who contacted Lorna and knew she could do worse than her. Besides, it might be fun to go on double dates and even if they didn't date Lorna was quickly becoming my new best friend and Nicky was Alex's ride or die chick, I had recently fully accepted that fact, so the two younger women would likely see each other a lot and might as well at least become friends.

"That's not up to me, sorry Nicks. Love you but that's her choice, not mine. Guess you'll have to turn on the charm."

"You know I will b-," Nicky started to say before Alex looked down at Geo, who had found a pen and post-its in Alex's purse and was currently occupying himself more enthusiastically than with any toy I could ever give him, and mouthed language, "Guess that only leaves one person, raise your hands if you don't know who Blondie is! You'll probably be in Vause's office after the break if you do but go ahead, we saw what happened with Lauren and Yolanda before her. If you aren't with Vause's ideas than you accept your fate."

"I'm hard on my employees but I know what it takes to succeed in this field, I'm the top queer sex therapist with an MD in America and top ten in the world. You want a mentor I'll be one, you want to exclude anybody from the umbrella and you won't last. And if you act like Nicky and you don't own a third of the center than you also won't last. Before we get to this sweet girl next to me," she paused and kissed the edge of my mouth, her signal to me that she wanted to kiss me in public, and so I turned my head as she quickly pressed her lips against mine before continuing, "I would like to explain Artemis' next project and why I brought on Jack and hopefully Piper will join it as well as the chairwoman of the board and Executive Director. I would like to formally announce that I have formally filed the paperwork to create the Artemis Foundation, a nonprofit that will provide grants and scholarships to encourage underrepresented minorities to become involved in and further research in LGBT and women's healthcare, especially in underserved communities and around sexual health and queer families. Jack and hopefully, Piper will be organizing the nonprofit from its inception, working from my basic plan and mission statement to figure out how to best distribute the million-dollar budget they'll be working with."

"Piper, you totally should," Jamila added with a smile in my direction.

"Yeah, Blondie. Alex had been talking about her scholarship fund for longer than her practice and she's only recently gotten serious about it and we both know you could use a better boss."

"As if, Nicks. I'm lucky if she lets me be the boss in the bedroom."

"Alex! K-i-d-d-o!"

"He heard nothing, yet anyway."

"One more strike and he won't hear a damn thing."

"Sorry, baby," Alex apologized and I rolled my eyes before grabbing her hand, squeezing it and then placing it on my inner thigh.

"I'll accept on one condition, you have to help me sell my portion of Popi to Polly," I whispered.

"Deal. Not gonna ask about pay," Alex whispered back.

"Orgasms and five percent of the money I bring in. I already have open access to every cent of your money and that's way more than any Nonprofit Executive Director is making in this City," I teased in a tone only she could hear.

"Okay then, it looks like we have a new hire. She'll probably work mainly from home because we have a baby who needs his mother and well, we can't concentrate when we're around each other. We make a good team as long as we're fifty yards apart at all times."

We spent the rest of the night chatting about Christmas traditions and Red told the two boys stories about Ded Moroz and Russian children at Christmas. At one point, Geo asked if she knew stories about Jewish kids too, she didn't but Nicky did and told what few stories she knew about Hanukkah. This inspired Malik to ask his aunt about Kwanzaa. Then it turned into a discussion of everyone's favorite cultural holiday traditions. Everybody learned something that night, in addition to getting drunk, and I

Felt so blessed to have found this family for me and Geo to belong to. Anything Alex could have wrapped up and given me on Christmas morning couldn't mean more than the love I felt that night but I knew she would try anyway.


	29. Chapter 29

As we walked through the empty icy streets of Brooklyn at midnight, inching dreadfully closer to my apartment and the moment where I would have to get the courage up not to let this night end. We stayed at the restaurant until right around eleven when Alex mentioned to me that Geo had been asleep on her lap for an hour, so we decided to leave the rest of the girls, including Lorna after Alex told Red to make sure she got home safe with a wink towards the Russian woman and a head tilt in Nicky's direction as a warning to protect her from her best friend. I knew what I wanted. I knew what Alex wanted. I was pretty sure I knew what Geo wanted. Alex paused with the stroller in front of where she had parked her Escalade a couple of brownstones down from mine.

"You want me to help you get him inside," she pointed down at the canopy of the black stroller between her hands, "It doesn't have to be anything more than carrying this bag of rocks up three flights of stairs. I bench two hundred and lift 160, you run, we both have our thing. I want to make your life easier."

"And if that's not all I want tonight?"

"My car won't get towed, will it?"

"Nope, street sweeping isn't until Thursday."

"Then all you have to do is ask."

"Let's get upstairs without waking our baby and then we'll see where the night goes. Because if he wakes up, you'll be running the other direction."

"No, then I will definitely stay. I'm not letting you pull an all-nighter with an overtired, overstimulated toddler. But I'd rather this little angel stay asleep, I've missed tasting his mother," she teased with her lips against my ear, one hand on the stroller and the other wrapped around my back and rubbing my breast.

"I've missed you too and I love this outfit," I said more loudly than intended.

"Well, what happened to my shy, sexually repressed girlfriend?"

"You. You happened and then you decided to come see me wearing nothing more than leather, lace and a sexy bra. I'd like to see what's on under those pants."

"With how tight these are? What do you think?"

"Damn."

"Maybe some time I'll have to wear nothing but leather and fishnet stockings."

"Yes, but sometime when our baby isn't in the house."

"After the holidays I'm so taking you out to a leather party. I know a good one in Chelsea and an even better one in P-Town that allows exposed nipples for everybody, not just the guys like most parties. You just have to keep your genitals covered."

"Sounds fun. I've been to Martha's Vineyard a lot of times and whenever P-town came up it was likened to Sodom and Gomorrah."

"Nope, that's Fire Island," Alex joked.

"Another place I've never been to."

"Well, you are in for quite the summer then. For now, let's get this kid of ours inside before I have to see how much I remember from my peds rotation. I don't want to work tonight or see if I still remember how to get to the Brooklyn hospital."

"Yeah or he wakes up. Can you lift him or should I," I asked as Alex gave me one last kiss on the cheek then let go of me and went around to the front of the stroller and started undoing the buckles. I watched as she gently lifted him out with the expertise of a mother who had done this a million times instead of probably never, "I think I got him." Geo barely whimpered as she gathered him into her arms and let him lay across her chest. She rubbed his back a little as I came over and helped her put a blanket from my purse over him then folded his stroller and fumbled with my keys. I let Alex go first so Geo could get inside and we walked slowly and softly upstairs together. Once we were in the apartment, she turned to me, "Babe, why don't you get comfortable and I'll get him settled."

"Okay. Just make sure to put a Pull-up on him, they're in the bathroom on the bottom shelf. He's potty trained but—"

"He's not even three, it's normal. I'd be more shocked if a two-year-old boy who experienced early childhood trauma was fully potty trained," she kissed me and then I walked up the hall to my room and turned one last time to watch her gently place Geo down on the bed and go into his dresser like she knew exactly where his pajamas were and which ones were his wintertime favorites, the grey and white ones with the little polar bears. I smiled and headed into my room as she disappeared into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I was sitting at my dressing table and felt fingers gently touching my back and a kiss on the curve of my ear.

"Baby?"

"Yeah, it's me, love. I was sure that I would miss getting to do this," she whispered as she tugged on my zipper, stopping to massage the spots of tension she found along the way, "You didn't have to wait for me."

"I wanted to. I like when you undress me," I responded as I slowly turned around and looked at Alex in fresh red lipstick and black eyeliner wearing everything but the lace shirt she had on earlier, "Hey baby, what happened to your shirt?"

"I went to the bathroom to freshen up after I finished putting the kiddo down and decided it was in the way. Don't worry I shoved it in my purse and put our purses in the hall closet in case inquiring minds decided to go snooping. Oh and I went to my car for something," she took my hand and placed it over her fly. I questioned what I was feeling, not because I'd never been in a similar position just that it was with her so I looked down and saw the unmistakable bulge.

"For me?"

"Well, I gave everyone else their Christmas bonuses at Red's but I used yours to buy something I figured would bring us both more pleasure than money."

"What do you? How?"

"Why don't you unwrap your present and find out for yourself, Pipes."

I pulled down her fly and my eyes instantly went to the smooth black silicone hovering between her legs, "But there's no harness, Al."

"Doesn't need one. It's a double-sided dildo and it vibrates if I want it to. There's a bulb inside me and I figured I'd save the business end for you. I figured you'd like to be able to actually get fucked by me fully naked."

"If only it were functional."

"Are you ever satisfied, woman," she hissed as she bit my lip and pushed her crotch hard against mine as I nearly wet myself from arousal. She smirked and pushed again but harder this time as she guided me towards the wall. She shoved me against it and without moving her lips from mine pulled down my purple thong and pushed up my skirt as I felt her grab my wrists and pull them over my head as she pinned me to the wall with her body. When she was satisfied I wouldn't dare move my arms she let go and started running her hand along the shaft to reposition it until the toy that looked about four fingers thick now that I finally took a long look at it in its full glory. He wasn't long but he was thick. Alex saw the fear in my eyes.

"Worried you can't handle him? He's a gentle giant when he wants to be but tonight, he's feeling insulted. You made him sad and when he gets sad he gets mad, just like his owner," she put her hand between my legs then went into her pocket for a small packet of lube, which I watched her rip open with her teeth and put in my mouth, "What you do with this is up to you." I figured I had permission to use my hands so I took the packet out of my mouth and rubbed it's contents into the toy as Alex smirked, which only fueled me more so I kept rubbing and trying to push the toy deeper inside her. Until she dug her nails into my wrist with a piercing glare, "Nuh-uh. That's not how this is going to go, your comment a moment ago ended any chance of this going down sweetly or you having any control beyond me ensuring your basic comfort," she overtook me and spun me around so our positions were reversed and pulled down my dress, "Such a needy little thing. Doesn't look like your pussy cares about my inadequacies. Sorry, you won't get to celebrate our first anniversary with a newborn hanging off your tit," she pushed my back down until it was parallel with the floor then slapped my swollen lips and I bit my lip to stifle a scream, "But there's always our second. Besides I gotta get you in white before I get you in cute belly friendly floral dresses," Alex teased as she roughly pushed two fingers inside me and brushed against my sweet spot every third rapid thrust, "So tight for me. Put your hands on the floor and take him like the naughty thing you are. So let's try out a little basic yoga. Be a good girl and show me your best downward dog, you'll be handsomely rewarded. I'm gonna pound your little pussy into submission from behind. Maybe I can't put a baby in your belly with my cock but I can make you squirt and really which one would you rather do? Get pregnant and have to push another baby out of your perfect pussy or squirt and orgasm vaginally?"

I was feeling especially daring and willing to accept the inevitable consequence of my smart-mouthed answer, "Both." She responded by smacking my ass, "On your back on the floor now," I did as I was told with a little help from Alex, "Now pleasure yourself." I started rubbing my clit hard as I massaged my breasts and tried not to moan too loudly. I watched Alex strip to just her navy blue bra and then play with her clit. I wanted to see her nipples but knew that it would backfire terribly, I could tell that she had left it on purposely because she knew how much I liked seeing her tits when she was fucking me. I missed the smell of marzipan when I buried my head in them and the taste of her cleavage but I didn't want to risk stopping this when I was so close to the edge and wanted nothing more than her inside me and making me cum around her cock. Just as I was sure I couldn't keep from falling off the edge a moment longer, Alex pushed my legs up over my head, "raise your hips a little," she told me in a tone that was both tender and commanding, had I not been so aroused I would have wondered how she did that but I just decided to relax and give in to the amazing woman I got to call mine. She sat on my ass and angled herself inside me until with a few well-placed thrusts I squirted all over her. Just when I thought she was going to get up and lead me to the bed, she sat on my face. I'd never pleasured her in this position with a dildo on but I figured that I had enough knowledge about sex at this point to figure it out and I knew when she turned into a quivering mess and started fucking my face that I had. Alex climbed off me and laid next to me on her side on the floor. She ran her fingers along my cheek until our breathing settled down, "Let's light some candles so Geo doesn't come in here in the morning and ask why the room smells funny and take a shower so that he doesn't ask that question about us."

"Can we still make love?"

"Can you behave yourself in the shower for once?"

"Have you seen yourself? You are too hot not to touch. Especially when you are all soapy."

"How ever did you handle gym meets and keep your virtue?"

"Must have known somewhere deep down that I was saving it for God's gift to queer women."

"You know just how to get me to eat out of your hand."

"That's not the body part of mine that I want you eating out of but I'll take it," I teased as I flicked her bra off and held it to my nose for a minute.

"You are such a freak. Do you sniff my panties too?"

"Do you sniff mine," I retorted as Alex had a rare moment of embarrassment, "I miss your smell when you aren't around."

"So you sniff my dirty panties? Is there a fetish you don't have?"

"Do you have a list lying around?"

"Yes but it costs five hundred per hour plus two-fifty for the assessment."

"I just gave you one heck of an orgasm, I think that's worth at least seven-fifty."

"Just don't ask me to pee on you. Anything else is fair game. Maybe I'll have to test the common ones."

"Like allergy testing."

"But way more fun for both of us. As long as they are legal, I see no problem with fetishes and I think if people were honest then they'd admit they had them too. Everybody does."

"I love you and I'm so glad I found you."

"I'm glad I found both of you. If you want to make love and have time to sleep before Geo inevitably comes in here."

"Shit, and you don't own pajamas. I think I have one of your shirts here and sweats that won't be too short on you."

"We should get Christmas jammies tomorrow. What does the little man want from Santa?"

"He's been begging for a bike and he wants to go to a theme park but I told him he had to be bigger, hopefully, he'll hit a growth spurt by the summer. He did say he wanted to go to Chicago with you."

"What does the court say about that one?"

"I talked to my lawyer and she said the court would likely authorize it because the custody agreement is considered to have been nullified by Larry at this point and he wants to go. I told her I was moving too and she contacted child services and they signed off on it when they heard doctor living in Gramercy Park."

"I would love to have you two there. I've gone to Chicago about three times a year for fifteen years, it would be fun to see it from a different perspective."

"Are you sure we won't get in the way?"

"You two could never get in the way. Now don't make me tell you again to get your pretty ass into the shower!"

I slowly got up, using Alex's tits for stability as I got off the floor, which won me a laugh and an eye roll, "Need help old lady?"

Alex swatted at my legs before taking my hand. I grabbed towels and robes to walk down the hall. I hoped Geo wouldn't wake up and see us showering together but I figured if he didn't wake up from our earlier escapades that a shower wasn't likely to get his attention. We made out a little in the shower and washed each other's bodies but managed to have a mostly PG-13 shower except for massaging each other's breasts and a moment where I found my lips wrapped around Alex's left nipple as my fingers toyed with her ribcage. I could feel her need growing so I stopped, "Ready to get out and cuddle?"

"Spoon sex?"

"Sure."

That night we fell asleep face to face with our legs intertwined. I didn't hear Geo come in, Alex was closer to the door but I did notice when I woke up to an empty apartment and seconds later the unmistakable sound of my girlfriend and our son's footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Mommy," I heard a little voice yell down the hall and jump on the bed.

"Wake up! Wake up!"

"Get off here with those boots on, little monkey."

"Tay off me, Mommy?"

"Yeah. But you know better."

"Sowe," he reached to hug me.

"So did you go outside by yourself?"

"Momma taked me coffee and kiche," he responded as my girlfriend appeared with flowers, spinach and bacon and mushroom quiche, bagels and cream cheese with berries and whipped cream and two cappuccinos.

"I could almost forgive the kidnapping if this is the sort of treatment it gets me."

"We decided to let you sleep. And he had a lot of energy."

"What did you get him?"

"kid's hot cocoa and a ham and cheese croissant. He wanted chocolate but I told him he had to choose. And they had a fruit basket and I made him choose something. He ate a banana while we waited for the drinks. He carried his drink and we chose the flowers together, it was a first time for both of us."

"Awww, these aren't just flowers but the first time you've ever bought them?"

"For a girl other then me, myself and I."

"Mommy, woman not girl!"

"If you weren't right, I'd punish you. But next time when adults are talking don't join in unless it's really important."

"Sowe, Mommies. Momma stay and pay?"

"I was thinking we could hang out for a bit this morning and let your Mommy go for a run. Then this afternoon we can do something fun that you want to do, then do some Christmas shopping and dinner, anywhere you want."

"Seep o'er 'gain?"

"Your Mommy and I would have to talk about that. But would you want me to?"

"Wan' you 'ewe ewe mowing!"

"I'd like that too. But your Mommy is the boss in this house, I'm merely the queen."

"And me pince! Or nite!"

"I don't know, I think you're the Court Jester this morning, you silly boy. If you're gonna stay in here you need to take it down a little or you can go watch cartoons."

"Me be good," he settled down and smiled sweetly.

"So, what are you two doing for Christmas," Alex asked once we were settled in with our breakfast.

"Probably drive to Connecticut Christmas morning, if I come Christmas Eve, I have to do the whole country club and church thing and Geo and I both hate it. So, we came to a compromise. As long as I'm there by nine am Christmas morning I don't have to go to the Christmas Eve festivities. What are you doing?"

"Christmas I usually watch old Christmas movies and hang out on the couch and get delivery."

"What about your mom?"

"Other than the Christmas I was six and she thought that was what I wanted, we've always celebrated Christmas on the 27th and done Christmas Eve things on the 26th. Christmas we would watch Miracle on 34th St, my mom loves that movie and if I was still awake, I'd watch It's a Wonderful Life with her. I was ten before I saw the whole movie and my mom gave me that look like she knew my childhood was about to end. And she was right. That's around the time I started doing things with girls, knowing what I was doing and why."

"You should come with us. We usually only stay until after supper. And if it's okay with this one," I motioned my head towards Geo, watching a She-Ra cartoon on Alex's phone, "we could hang out with you and your mom. Start our first family tradition. Matching jammies and family time on Christmas Eve, Christmas with my family then come home, and Christmas with your mom."

"And when do we do family presents and Santa?"

"We'll try Christmas Eve this year and we can figure out what works as he gets older. Right now, he has no sense of time and little idea of who Santa is or when he comes."

"You know how Diane feels about you and I'm sure she won't mind meeting her first grandchild, especially since she gave up on ever having one decades ago."

"Geo," I told our son as I took the phone and paused the show, "What would you think about meeting Alex's Mommy soon?"

"Wan' met! She gamma now hads two mommies!"

"Okay then. You want the last bite babe?"

"You take it. Were you serious about letting me go for a run? Cause I tend to go for a couple of hours, I'm an elite cross-country runner."

"Go on, babe. I can play with Geo, do a little school time. Get him started in premed early."

"Can you get him dressed and bathed, too, if he's up for it?"

"Yeah. We'll be ready to have a fun day when you come home."

I came home three hours later to Geo in a red flannel shirt with a Power Rangers shirt underneath and black jeans with his beloved Converses and Alex in one of my larger Smith hoodies and a pair of jeans she found that by some miracle fit her pretty well and her combat boots.

"Well, who turned our son into the boy version of themselves now?"

"Except if it were me, I would have put a classic rock tee or CBGB shirt on underneath. It was either red Power Ranger or Batman and I figured we had a color scheme going on. And as for my outfit, I raided your closet like you do mine."

"You still look hot in it," I teased as I came over and kissed her and then our son, "And you look so awesome, baby. You two definitely look like mother and son. So what did you guys do?"

"Gave him a quick bath and we learned about water and hydropower. How buoyancy and gravity work. Dried his hair and I got him dressed then let him play in the living room and have a healthy morning snack while I got dressed. Then we read a book and had just started a puzzle when you came home."

"Wow, I'm impressed."

"You have a good run?"

"It was a little cold but I loved it. I ran to Williamsburg and across the bridge and looped back over the Brooklyn bridge. It was so amazing to go for a good run and not have to worry about getting home."

"I'm glad. I love it when you're all sweaty," Alex added with a wink. What was she going to do when he got a little older and things like that didn't go over our kid's head? "Why don't you get a quick shower and get dressed. He's been asking for a PBJ pocket, can he have one?"

"Sure," I headed towards the shower as I heard Alex going through the freezer. I lived for these moments of domesticity and family bonding. As I climbed in the shower, I was amazed at how effortlessly we balanced our needs as a couple with those of Geo. I couldn't wait to find out what the two had planned for our day, whatever we did I knew I'd love every minute as long as I had them.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: It's finally time for Alex to reveal her cards to Piper and let her (and thus you guys) in on her secrets. Will it bring them closer or pull them apart? First, we get a little Domestic Vauseman fluff...but don't worry there's something for everyone in this chapter.**

Geo asked to go to a real museum before I had only taken him to children's museums, the aquarium once and the Transit museum on a free day. I loved museums but controlling my toddler coupled with the possibility he would get bored or overstimulated after fifteen minutes didn't make me want to shell out possibly over forty dollars for the two of us. But Geo wanted it and it was his day so we headed to Alex's favorite non-art New York City museum, The American Museum of Natural History, she loved it in the winter when the butterfly exhibit was open. Lover of all things dark and erotic had a secret butterfly obsession, she told me it was because they can become something beautiful and amazing through endurance and transformation, that they aren't the underrated thing they start life as. We decided to stay at Alex's apartment over Christmas so I packed some things for Geo and me, grabbed his stroller and we headed out. I started to walk over to my car then Alex guided me to hers.

"But you don't have a baby seat and taking his car seat out of my car is a headache."

"Oh, but I do," she opened the passenger side back door and I instantly saw the Rolls-Royce of car seats, a black Nuna Rava.

"Baby," I exclaimed and then pulled her into a kiss.

"You two deserve it. You like your new seat, buddy?"

"Yeah! Bu' it too high!"

"So what do we do if we need help?"

"Ca'u picp'e up," Alex shot him a glare and he added, "Pwese?"

"That's what I was waiting for," she replied as she picked him up and set him in the seat, "Want me to help buckle you up? It might be different from Mommy's car seat."

"Okay."

Moments later we were heading into Manhattan. Surprisingly, we spent two hours at the museum looking at dinosaur bones, whales and of course the butterflies as he ooohed and awed from the stroller. Then we got burgers at Shake Shack and dessert at Milk Bar before heading to White Plains. We shopped for a couple of hours while Geo nibbled on a pretzel before heading to dinner at an Asian restaurant where Geo showed off his love for sushi and noodles, further impressing Alex and making my girlfriend fall even more head over heels in love with him. He still had some energy so we stopped at a bowling alley and played a through a set, which Alex won and then let Geo spend five bucks at the arcade before heading to Alex's apartment. As we approached the garage, I was a little nervous, the last time I saw her apartment it wasn't exactly kid-friendly but as I walked in the place looked like a kid's wonderland. She had put a little farm stand in the living room, an IKEA play kitchen in the dining room, even a foldable slide with a soccer goal and basketball hoop in one corner.

"Baby. This is too much," I gasped as he ran straight for the slide.

"I f-ed up the other night. I figured nothing I could do for you could make up for it. I was already working on toddler proofing the place and renovating the front bedroom. I figured the way to forgiveness would be to do something for the person you love most."

"You came up with this idea by yourself?"

"Well, there might have been an emergency session with my therapist involved but I talked myself to my ultimate solution. And we also concluded that I need to lay all my cards on the table, including the one thing only she knows. So, after Geo is in bed you and I are going to have a chat in my office and for once I'll show you what's in that safe I won't let you touch."

"It's nothing bad is it?"

"No, my love. I promise," She embraced me and then drew me into a sweet, soft kiss, "You think we can tear him away from his new toys long enough to show him his new room?"

"Yeah, it might encourage him to go to sleep."

"Let's go get him."

After a short negotiation, we finally convinced Geo to go see his room, which used to be for Diane but she had redone from the sage green, pink and white space it had been to navy-blue and red with the same white accents. She had bought a full size wooden white bed that I knew was from Pottery Barn, denim comforter, a turtle-shaped nightlight that reflected stars on the ceiling, a white two shelf bookcase, one shelf with a few books and the bottom one had two navy blue canvas totes and a red bean bag chair next to it and a tiny table and chairs next to it. She had put a rug with a city scene and roads on the floor. There was also a small white dresser and an organizer with bins for toys. She had put a cartoony map of the world with animals and topography on the wall across from the bed but left the other walls blank. Geo took a flying leap across the room and into the center of the bean bag while I stood there shocked at how perfect it was.

"This is so amazing. You really do listen."

"You have been known to pique my interest from time to time."

"What on days that end in Y?"

"Something like that. Shall we see if we can coax this kid into PJs and read him one of my favorite children's books?"

"Yeah."

An hour and a half later after books, songs and constant requests for one last kiss we left his room. After getting into our new pajamas we went into her office and she had me sit on the floor while she opened the safe in her closet and after shuffling through manila folders and taking out a locked box that she told me was exactly what I thought it was and it was unloaded. She pulled out four folders and sat next to me.

"First, remember when Mel mentioned about how I ended up a twenty-six-year-old millionaire?"

"Yeah, you said you did other stuff. I didn't press it because I figured you'd tell me when you were ready and I know you told me that you opened up to Silvia and she used it to ruin you."

"Yeah and this is what she tried to ruin me with," she handed me the first folder and I opened it up to these pictures of her young and very skinny wearing next to nothing and in some interesting poses in a few pictures.

"I was an adult model in med school. I started doing tattoo modeling in New York City at fifteen because I wanted money but the program didn't let us work traditional jobs, not that I wanted to ever work for minimum wage. I already had the dyed black hair, red lips, eyeliner, and gorgeous porcelain skin when I went to get my first tattoo, the artist asked if I had ever thought about doing tattoo modeling, he said I had the look. I figured I'd give it a try and found I enjoyed doing alternative modeling shoots. I did that in Boston and New York until I moved to San Francisco. I did a few lingerie shots and had other offers but I knew I was underage and I didn't want to get anyone in trouble. Not that the shots of a seventeen-year-old in underwear were legal either but I had the body of a woman so I didn't see the harm. I see it more now though and if Diane ever found out it would be a murder-suicide for the ages. And then I started going down to Folsom and found a whole different scene and got involved in fetish modeling. Then, and this is what Silvia found and threatened to expose, I got approached again to do porn and it was a good offer. I lost my virginity on a camera when I was barely eighteen and got fucked by a man twice my age. I still remember him on top of me and the director telling him what to do to me. And that's not even the worst thing that happened. I did bisexual porn for a while after that, the whole two girls experimenting only to be caught by the man type of thing and the girls turn their amorous attention on him. I went to Vegas a lot, gambled, perfected my poker game and partied with porn stars. And they all wanted a piece of me. Fake tits weren't my thing but sex was sex. I dated a few porn stars who did natural porn and the directors quickly learned if they wanted something explosive to pair me with a ginger. Then a leather daddy rescued me from that world and noticed I had it in me to dominate both men and women between my height, looks, and demeanor. And then I found a niche in guys who like to get penetrated by women, pegging. I made a lot of money doing it and this director never tried to fuck me or let me get fucked. I could shut off a shoot whenever I wanted and he never told me what to do."

"Al, that's dangerous!"

"I know it was. And it messed me up. I did a lot of blow and drunk until I passed out a lot back then to cope. And I understand if you don't want me around anymore and don't think I'm a good example for Geo."

"Did you take precautions?"

"As best I could. We both know nobody can make a man wrap it up if he doesn't want to. San Francisco had good services for sex workers and they gave me birth control and got me tested regularly. I got pretty lucky that I ended up relatively unscathed. I've had chlamydia and gonorrhea, PID a few times and UTIs from too much sex and I have some scarring that would make me unable to ever carry a baby to term and a higher risk of ectopic pregnancy but nobody told my ovaries that, as you'll find out from the last folder."

"Well, I'm still here, aren't I? I love you and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. And I can't get mad at you for sexual history questions I didn't ask before I slept with you. It's not like I'm just now finding out you engaged in sex with high-risk partners or that you support porn and sex workers. I didn't use to but I've read what you've given me that explains your side and it makes more sense than anything I heard at Smith. Just like everything else for women it can be abusive or empowering. So continue, baby."

"I graduated med school with no debt but I also created a dual identity that has persisted up until two years ago but really started unraveling four years ago. I wanted to be wealthy, I always knew that. I started an econ major and thought of moving to London and going into investment banking before I decided to become a doctor. I still taught myself about investing and home improvement. I learned how to make the three million in pure profit, after paying for med school and living expenses plus travel, studying abroad, conferences, getting my first books published and entertainment, into almost twelve in five years through investing in real estate and biotech and pharmaceutical stocks. Once I got dividends, I started investing in money markets and a CD. I lived inexpensively, which is why I chose to be a nanny instead of paying rent so I could grow my wealth, also so I could keep up the illusion as to how much my assets were. I modeled for a decade until my medical and academic career took off and I knew at twenty-five I was getting a little old to be an adult entertainment star anyway. After I finished residency, I became a registered investor and bought my first property on my own, a two-bedroom house near Springfield, that I got at auction and flipped. I kept flipping homes and doing home renovations in the area. By twenty-nine I owned two apartment buildings, one in Cambridge and one near Northampton. In addition to five rental homes. I started a property management company and made my mom the office manager that same year. Then I decided to look for a company in the biotech/medical sphere to buy into that had the makings of being a billion-dollar company, I wanted to find the next Genentech. I lost millions in the process but finally one of my investments is about to pay off in a big way, they are about to bring a new drug to market and go public. It's the only company I kept giving more money to and I own sixty percent at this point. I had a Tribeca loft and a condo in Provincetown by thirty. I bought my mom a four-bedroom house and her dream car with cash, she didn't want me to but I had the liquid assets so she finally gave in. Then I started buying expensive cars and discovered a hobby for fixing motorcycles. Now I spend too much money on high stakes poker, alcohol and bikes but I haven't had a mortgage since I bought my first property. I own two sportscars, a Ducati and a classic 70s Harley. And all calculated, including non-liquid assets I'm worth forty-five million."

"But what about the three million?"

"That's my guaranteed take home post-tax earnings without investment income and after donations. I give to various charities that help women and LGBT people. I fund a scholarship to help single moms get certificates in medicine and biotech in the Springfield area. I help build houses for underprivileged families in Massachusetts. I try to give back to my community while also working towards my dream of being filthy rich, at first I just wanted to earn more money than Lee ever made and be more of a Rockstar than he ever was but now I just want to see how much I can make and do the one thing he never did with his money, give it away to someone who wasn't a bartender, bookie or dealer. This folder has all my financial holdings. Every penny to my name is laid out in there. And this last folder is my biggest secret. Just look at it and then we'll talk about it."

"Wow, I mean I knew there was no way NYU and being a famous sex therapist could fund this lifestyle. It could fund an extremely comfortable one but on its own, it's not buying Gramercy Park penthouses. When I found out you had connections to drug dealers, I was worried but I figured you were too smart to do that. And I knew you were connected with big Pharma so I figured why would you risk that and guessed you were getting money for consulting."

"And I do. I help give input for human studies, mostly psych, infertility, and 'female cancers.' I've also worked on a few lupus and rheumatoid arthritis trials. They pay well and I'm there to make sure the participants aren't exploited and have their mental health needs met during the trial. So I feel like I'm the good guy, I just work for the bad guys and I would never work for Purdue or any other company that thinks opioids are okay. I've also worked on surgical and device innovations. I've gotten into robotic medicine lately. I also have a few ebooks and online courses for different audiences. I've been approached to write a memoir I've just never done it because I would have to expose myself too much and I didn't feel like I had a story beyond being Rockstar's bastard daughter turned BDSM porn star turned highly acclaimed sex doctor. It seemed too salacious to me. If I ever had a story that wouldn't be Playboy or tabloid fodder than I would, I don't think I'd ever publicly name my father though. And there have been offers, believe me. I could have paid for medical school with one phone call to the Enquirer. But I wanted to get rich off my name not the name of some man who didn't want me."

"I don't think it's important. I mean if your dad was Mick Jagger or something instead of who it actually is then maybe but some second-rate rocker cliché isn't it."

"I don't know I think I'd rather Robert Plant be my daddy, I'm more of a Zepplin girl than the Stones and so is Diane. Or one of the guys from Metallica. Believe me, I have a list of rockers I'd rather be my daddy than some casino band that had a couple of decent hits. I fell in love with rock and roll against my mother's best attempts otherwise. She accepted my sexuality and as much as I told her about the modeling but that was hardest for her to handle, that I had this rockabilly soul. She hated it when I got into emo and goth rock. I don't turn on classic or hard rock stations when she's in the car and she's fine. I think she's still in love with my father and it's hard. But it's the only reason she kept me so I owe a lot to that unrequited young love. I wouldn't have this if she didn't support my dreams and he didn't give me the need to show him up. But enough about that, look in the last folder."

I opened it up and saw a white sheet of photo paper with these two weird grey blobs. Alex said nothing so I flipped and found a second with four blobs, two seemed larger than any of the other six. Then I saw the third and fourth sheets, which were stapled together and each had six blobs.

"What are these?"

"Embryos."

"Whose?"

"Well, they are in my house. I'll give you one guess."

"Yours?"

"Yeah. When I was about to turn thirty-four I realized that I couldn't definitively say I never wanted to have a biological child and I had the wealth to freeze my eggs so I went to LA, the sort of clinic that is used to extremely high profile, wealthy patients who require extra discretion beyond basic HIPAA requirements. I paid cash and they kept the treatments out of my medical records. I didn't want people's opinions and there was no guarantee I'd ever hire a surrogate and bring one or two of them into the world. I just wanted the option. Call me selfish but that third batch almost killed me. I was happy with the six high quality, healthy embryos we had but the clinic recommended ten frozen embryos minimum, especially given my advanced age. Older women's eggs don't survive the process as well. So I agreed to one last cycle but they gave me too much and my ovaries went crazy. They had to take the eggs early to save my life and all told there were twenty eggs retrieved. But then I had complications. There was bleeding, then I spiked a fever and my ovary nearly burst. They thought they'd have to remove the ovary so they put me on observation and my organs started shutting down and I ended up in the ICU with an infection. I woke up at Cedars in LA with my mom by my side and no idea why she was there or that it was three days later. To this day she still thinks I had a burst cyst on vacation. NYU and Nicky think that too. I had to have two blood transfusions. I was certain none of the eggs would be good quality but twelve fertilized, none with genetic diseases and I told them to freeze them all because we had both fought so hard to have a chance at life. I don't want you to think I have any expectations of you when it comes to them. I was in talks with a surrogate when we met. After the Silvia thing was over, I was ready for a different life and closed the door on finding a partner or having a career in academia. I could never work another day in my life and still be set for life. Then we met and I decided to chase that, not knowing if I'd ever cycle back to these little ones. And I was and still am okay with that."

"What does the donor look like?"

"That's the next bunch of papers. He's an athletic scientist who loves music. He plays four instruments. He's six-four and around 160 pounds, so he's a big guy. He has red hair and hazel eyes with a sparkling smile. Now I wish I'd chosen a blonde-haired man who was more similar to you instead of the guy who had the traits and health background I was looking for and looked sexually attractive. I was flipping through profiles one night and saw him. I had been through a donor who after two cycles just couldn't fertilize my eggs, then another one who fertilized two low-quality embryos. They told me it wasn't my eggs. So I switched to a different bank and found him and I knew, more than I had with the other two donors that he was it. Getting these embryos was a two and a half year-long roller coaster ride and gave me a whole new understanding of fertility treatments. Those women are badasses."

I looked at the pictures of a cute little red-headed boy with freckles on his nose and pictures of him with his brother and two sisters as kids. He was an adorable little boy and I could imagine what he looked like as a man, Alex told me the staff said he had a goatee and everyone called him Prince Harry around the clinic because he was a wealthy, red-haired humanitarian and so sweet to everyone from the medical director to the janitor.

"So, what do you think, babe?"

"He looks like he would make some pretty babies."

"And he has super sperm, I fertilized twenty-four eggs total with his sperm but froze sixteen mostly due to quality, except for two due to extremely serious genetic conditions not compatible with life. The embryos were almost all top quality just at first they were more conservative with the embryos they froze because I made it clear I only wanted one, maybe two at most."

"Is that still all you want?"

"I don't know. I have the woman I want to raise a family with and I'm not facing doing it alone, so it's different. I'm not going to ask you to be an incubator."

"Baby, I would gladly let you put them all in me if that's what you wanted."

"Well, I don't want that many kids. Four wouldn't be bad."

"More or total because we have one sleeping in the next room already."

"More. Five seems like a good number. A family of seven is doable. We can buy a mansion outside the City but there are no guarantees how many embryos it will take to get one in you and I can't do another cycle."

"I never thought that having even one baby that looked like you was a realistic possibility. There is nothing more amazing to me than the thought that your baby could grow inside me and I could look into your eyes when I hold our baby for the first time. See your nose and full lips on an ultrasound of a baby growing inside me. And I'm willing to carry with my eggs if we aren't done but we're out of embryos, I'm in the prime of my fertility."

"Okay, Pipes. Want to go to our bed and practice," Alex took the folders and set them to the side of me as she climbed into my lap and started pressing her body against mine before finally allowing our lips to meet after every other body part had gone before it. I gasped for breath when she finally released my lips as her hand found its way into my flannel pajama bottoms and looked in her eyes, "I'm not going to make it if you keep doing that. Besides I don't think that's how it works."

"Who's the doctor here?"

"You. So you know better."

"Then how about you let me take you to our bed and eat your pussy until you fall asleep because it's fun for both of us, babe?"

"Well, I didn't get eaten mine last night and I still need it."

"And we just can't have that now can we, my love?"

"No. No, we can't," I responded as Alex climbed off me and led me to our room where she gently undressed me as she pushed me onto the bed then herself before climbing on top of me and kissing every inch of my body as her hand stayed between my legs and mine between hers as she worked her legs between mine until I came hard around her fingers and thigh rubbing against me as she kissed me sweetly. She looked in my eyes and watched as I came unraveled for her before she worked herself between my legs and started licking and sucking my now glistening folds until I was writhing again and she hit my sweet spot at just the right moment and I completely exploded as she massaged my breast. She quickly came up for air before going down on me again, this time using her fingers and tongue in perfect tandem to bring me maximum pleasure. Just as I thought she was going to let up she looked up with that playful yet dangerous smirk and I knew I had about two seconds to grab onto the headboard before a surge of electricity overpowered my exhausted body and I lost all control and I bit my lip until it bled so that I wouldn't wake Geo up with my screams of pleasure as Alex moaned against my swollen pussy and I kept giving her more long past the point that I was sure I had no more to give. Of course, Alex knew my body better than I knew it and could access places I didn't know existed within me. With a few gentle strokes, she worked me down from my high slowly before getting up and grabbing us pajamas and then pulling me close and kissing my shoulder and collarbone until the kisses finally stopped and I gave into sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: I had way too much fun with this chapter...smutty, flirty, romantic little thing it is with some plot and a major shift in one very important character's viewpoint on Vauseman...and if Piper getting her every dirty Christmas wish and talking about Alex's "cunning" charm isn't enough for you guys, next chapter we officially meet Diane Vause, promise this time...I've already started it and it should be up tomorrow ;) And a major purchase, so stay tuned my dear readers.**

"Are you sure it's okay with your parents if I come with you guys," Alex asked me as we checked our packages one last time to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything. We had quickly stopped at my apartment before heading to Connecticut.

"Yes, babe."

"And you actually asked them and they said yes, bring your lover?"

"You are way more than my lover. You are my partner. You are helping me raise my kid."

"I question the sanity of anyone who wouldn't want to raise your kid, he's the most awesome kid I've ever met."

"Wasn't aware there was much competition there, Dr. Vause," I teased inches from her lips before turning and shaking my ass on my way out of my bedroom. I didn't make it very far before Alex spun me around and pressed her lips against mine.

"Ew, Mommies kip-pig! Kip-pig gross! Why awiz kifph Momma?"

I looked Alex up and down, taking in her full lips, equally buxom breasts and finally those thick hips that hours before I had left with claw marks on after Alex made the mistake of asking what I wanted for Christmas when she woke me up earlier than necessary. I was pissed about being awake until my eyes focused on her sexy body splayed out before me and a smug smirk that I felt compelled to wipe off her fucking face.

I didn't give her an answer so much as slowly climbed on top of her and fucked her as I kissed her with raw, unbridled passionate enthusiasm as my nails dug into her flesh as I rode her pussy hard cowgirl style until she gave into my body pressing forcefully against hers. I smiled mischievously from my perch as she came hard around my fingers from being dominated while lying on her back in her own bed. She was too busy trembling, arching her back and biting her lower lip with teary eyes to notice how smug I was being as I fucked her. Lucky me. I knew I owed my life to her orgasm being stronger than her need for absolute power and control.

I tried to get my mind back to my toddler and the present moment but today it was hard. I wanted to act out the ending, no scratch that, I wanted to act out the scene after the credits rolled of every cheesy Christmas love story I had ever seen with my perfect girlfriend.

"Because it's fun," I addressed him before whispering a little too loudly in Alex's ear, "and Momma is so good at it."

"Me ne-uhr wan' kifph guws!"

Alex and I looked at each other and laughed as we tried to find a moment of our childhoods when we didn't want to kiss a girl.

"Soon enough some little girl on the playground will change your mind and if they don't I'll still love you just as much. Mommies were your age when we fell in love with a girl for the first time."

"Make me mad, Mommy."

"What makes you mad, baby?"

"Doe due wike gulls o'wife. Bu'no tell."

I bent down and took my sobbing son into my arms, "Mommy didn't accept it until she met Momma. Momma was the first person I told and you were so little. I figured if I never fell in love with a woman than nobody had to know."

"Glad meeted Momma."

"I am too. I just hope Grandma and Grandpa are too when they meet her. You excited to see them?"

"They maked sit udder tay'ul?"

"Probably."

"Have sit by self! No fun!"

"Hey buddy," Alex bent down where I had gathered my toddler into my lap and gently touched his arm, "If they make you sit alone at the kids' table then I'll come to sit by you."

"Wewe?"

"Yes, really. You'd probably be better company anyway."

"You be wite Momma."

"Sassy little man. Keep that to yourself around your grandparents okay? We want them to like me. Then they'll want me to be with your Mommy forever. Be a good boy and show them how much you love me. Can you do that, buddy?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well then, let's go you pint-sized model and you Ms. Yes-Carol-My-Dress-Did-Cost-More."

"It's Mrs. My-Dress."

"Wasn't aware I'd put a ring on it. Yet," Alex teased as she planted a series of tiny kisses on my cheekbone.

"Yeah, get on that Dr. Vause."

"We're not talking about this right now, Pipes. Come on, I don't want your mother blaming me for being late."

A couple of hours later we arrived at the Chapman family estate in Alex's Escalade and Cal came running down the driveway but stopped when he saw the strange car until he saw I hop out and walk towards him.

"Wow, sis. You get a new car? This seems like the opposite of your little Prius and everything you stand for."

"It is. But my six-foot tall girlfriend hates my Prius and needs a car she can fit into and tow her bike behind. It's not so bad. I love the little gas guzzler, horrible for the environment but I'm a Smith grad currently in a relationship that involves fucking a woman a lot so I'm really not worried about my standing among liberal feminists because my ridiculously hot, femme top sex doctor girlfriend who the only thing bigger than her breasts is her brain drives an Escalade. It's my luxurious, head-turning chariot and I hope it never turns into a pumpkin. I still have the Prius for now but we're debating between replacing it with a Mercedes or an Audi. But I'm still campaigning for a Tesla, she wants the Audi Q7. So, our first family car will probably be an Audi because Alex is a woman who always gets what she wants, whether you realize it or not. She's very, uh, cunning, especially with her, um, words," Piper added in her best attempt at Alex's effortlessly cool sensuality.

"Speaking of your girlfriend, where is she?"

"Look around, bro. There's only one other woman out here and she's getting Geo to turn off my iPad," I responded as she turned and he saw her smile as she shifted our son into a more comfortable position on her hip. Alex had on a tight red dress that for her showed a modest amount of cleavage and wasn't overly tight around her breasts but came in tightly at her hips and gold heels.

"Damn, she's even hotter in person. You did good for yourself."

"An improvement over sweaters and loafers?"

"Grandpa chic will never be a thing. That, however, is the way that I like to see the fifties making a comeback," He declared as he pointed at Alex's wide hips barely concealed by the fabric of her dress, "That woman oozes sex appeal. How do you not just fuck 24/7 when you're with a woman like that?"

"She's not bad looking, I guess. And I've developed an immunity after picking up her stained panties and sweaty socks one too many times," I added as I locked eyes with her and Alex slumped her shoulders because we both knew her floor was currently a messy pile of underclothes of undetermined ownership.

"I heard that, babe. And you are reasonably adorable," she teased as she playfully swatted me on the butt.

"Go on, Dr. Vause. Get it out of your system."

"Okay, but only if you promise to misbehave when the tables are turned."

"Diane is really that cool?"

"I didn't give her much of a choice. You ready to go in?"

"One more kiss?"

"Of course," she answered as she handed Geo over to Cal before embracing me and running her hand along my jaw as she pulled my lips into hers. We spent the next few hours opening presents, having supper and making small talk about Alex's education, career, and social status. She talked about her love for investing, cars, books, and cards. She made eyes at me and gently rubbed my back when my nerves threatened to take control. Until my mother asked the wrong question as we were sitting in the formal living room, my parents with their arm around each other on one couch while Alex and I sat on the couch across from them in an even closer and more loving version of their position. We smiled at each other with the bright look of new love while everything about my parents' interactions revealed their relationship to be one of duty and fidelity rather than passionate desire.

"So dear, how is Polly?"

"We don't talk anymore. And after the first of the year, we're announcing that she will become the sole owner of Popi, I sold my shares of the business to her. So, everything is over. We went from friends and business owners to strangers overnight."

"I really hope one day you can forgive each other. A woman is only as strong as her circle."

"I'm not interested in forgiving someone who likes queer people until they are in her house. I have friends now who can handle every part of me and I'll meet friends that can love all of me."

"But you've been friends for so long. My college friends are some of my greatest friends. Those are the most special friends a woman will ever have in adulthood and as she struggles with the pressures of womanhood, she needs them even more. It's even harder for women of your generation who are expected to have a career in addition to a loving wife and supportive mother. A woman needs her sisterhood to be strong and cope with the world. We've had some pretty big fights over the years but we always came back together."

"Some things are unforgivable. I wanted so bad for Polly to be that lifelong best friend forever, the sister I never had but she isn't and I have to move on for my own emotional health. She's not a good person. She's not someone I want in my son's life. I don't want him thinking her views are okay."

"I'm just sad for you both that you would let a lover you've known for five months come between your friendship."

"It's not about Alex and if she hadn't been the catalyst for Polly showing her true colors than somebody or something else would have. But I get it, boy, do I get it. I'm sad too, mom," she asserted as tears began to roll down her eyes.

My mother handed me a tissue as Alex kissed my cheek where the tears were pooling on my face, "I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to make sure you know what you're doing."

"I am. Alex is the love of my life. I love everything about her and what she is doing for the world. And she is the partner I never thought I'd find. Geo loves her, I love her. I deserve to be loved, not merely tolerated."

"A lot of people could love you. You are such a beautiful, passionate, intelligent young woman. I'm sure you could find a man who would love you and Geo just as much or more then Alex."

"Loving and devoting my life to a woman is not some sort of consolation prize," I asserted as my eyes subtly zeroed in on Alex's tits for a split second and checked out her curves to make sure the woman knew she was one hell of a prize, "I have the capacity to love both men and women. I love hot people with good hearts. And Alex has the greatest heart of anyone I've ever met. She drives me up the wall sometimes and she's too messy. She just throws her stuff on the counter and expects it to take itself to its proper spot and it annoys the shit out of me but at the end of the day it's her shit and I'm glad it's in my world. It's still annoying but being in her space, being her girlfriend makes me feel more happiness than I ever thought I could experience."

"I can't argue with that. And that's a woman's curse, spending her life picking up after a messy spouse and bearing children. But I guess there won't be any more of that."

"The parts didn't stop working the second I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my fertile years with a woman. My girlfriend is insanely wealthy and we want a large family. My desire to make love to a woman doesn't cancel out my desire to bear children. I can still get pregnant and I will, it'll just take a little extra effort and money."

"And what about you Alex, don't you want to bear children?"

"I never really considered it. I've been working towards a career in academia since I was a teenager. I was emancipated at sixteen, so I've been on my own for over twenty years. I was never a kid so having one was never a thought in my head. And I don't have the sort of lifestyle where I can step away from my career for a year and come back with it where I left off. I love Geo and I want to raise children with your daughter and I will love any child she gives birth to just as much as I would if I had carried it myself," Alex and I quickly snuck a knowing smile at each other because we had decided to keep our plans for how to build a family a secret from everybody but Diane, until we knew for sure me

giving birth to her child was inevitable, until the baby was starting to make their presence undeniably known. We knew what she was saying was the easier version of her feelings about babies, not the one hundred percent true one. The story she told had once been true and the important parts still were but Alex wanted biological children more than anything and despite creating a way of living where that was incomprehensible.

"Don't you feel like you are missing out on what sets us apart as women, what makes us special and distinguished? That magic of creating life?"

"No, I don't. As I tell my patients who are struggling with infertility, giving birth to a child doesn't make you a mother any more than a man ejaculating inside a woman makes him a father. Mother, father are social constructs, social relationships. I could still change my mind, it's not likely but I could."

"And if she did then I would be right there holding her hand the whole way."

"You wouldn't be jealous?"

"Why would I? She's already the most alluring woman I've ever met and I love her with every part of me, a baby in her belly would only make her more gorgeous and everything I feel even stronger."

"How old are you, anyway, Alex?"

Alex took a deep breath and I shot her a reassuring glance for myself as much as her as she responded, "I'll be thirty-nine in a couple of months."

"So, you are over a decade older than my daughter?"

"Yes, I am. I know it seems uncommon to you but in the gay community age difference isn't really a consideration, it's very common. Nobody thinks anything of it. I get more grief in the lesbian community for dating a newly out bisexual woman than a much younger one. And before you can ask, I have no ulterior motives with your daughter, I wasn't looking for anyone and if I had been, I definitely would not have been trying to find a barely out twenty-eight-year-old. I'm a psychiatrist, I deal with the issues women like her have all day long, why would I want to come home and deal with them? But you can't control where your heart goes or what it wants and mine wants her. And I'm not going to trade her in for a younger model the second she gets a wrinkle or her tits become less perky from a combination of age and giving me babies. I want to spend whatever years I have left with Piper, Geo and the family we make together."

"Honestly, you wouldn't have been my first choice for a life partner for my daughter, Alex," Bill interrupted, "But seeing the way you stand up for yourself and her makes me have a lot of respect for you. I'm glad my daughter found you and you were able to give her what she needed to get past something that happened to her in her early twenties and got out of control. I'm so glad to see my daughter coming into her own. All I ever wanted was somebody to look at my daughter with the same tenderness as I did the day she was born and if I'm being honest with myself I only ever saw a genderless figure of that person, some of my friends told me how they imagined the boy their daughter would marry but I never saw a guy. When Piper told me she was bisexual and planning to marry a woman it answered a lot of my questions, it made a lot of things I felt but couldn't understand make sense. You can give her the security and love she needs to be a successful woman and have a positive standing in society. And when the time comes, know that as long as you stay the woman that I met today you have my blessing to marry my daughter."

"Yes, Alex, you have my blessing as well. I know I asked some hard questions but I only have one daughter, I have to ask those questions," Carol added, "But you didn't shut down. You kept your composure and spoke eloquently from your heart, unlike Larry who was always stumbling all over himself and then after he got Piper pregnant became petrified of my husband coming for his balls. He could never own up to what he did. Or apologize for what he stole from her and us. What he did to our family by not being a man. When we found out he laid his hands on our daughter we never saw him again and anytime he was around when we came to a family thing for Geo he would run out of the room."

"It breaks my heart too. On one hand, I'm glad he fucked up so royally that now I get to call his girl and his kid mine but on the other, I'm sad that she went through all that pain because of him. I don't know how anyone can do the things he's done. I could never do anything resembling those things to Piper. I just want to give her everything I have. Every dime, every drop of love, a home to make ours and anything else she wants or needs. I will never lay my hands on her in anger or abandon her when she needs me most. I won't ever use your grandson as a pawn or a way to twist the knife like he did. Relationships can come and go. While I'm confident that I will always love Piper, in the event something did happen I realize children are forever and I will always be there for and love him. I can't undo the pain he's caused them and your family in the past, if I could I would, but I will do whatever is in my power to do."

"Welcome to the family, Alex."

"Yes, it seems you will be a wonderful addition."

"And you guys still get to tell everybody that your only daughter is courting a wealthy doctor, even if she does have the stench of new money and no father."

"Thanks, babe," Alex retorted sarcastically before she rolled her eyes, gave me that piercing look with a smile that said I could kill you right now as she poked my side until I giggled.

"You know what I mean, love muffin."

"Sure, schnookums," Alex responded as she kissed the edge of my mouth and I granted her the kiss, our first in front of my parents and she kept it chaste without losing an ounce of tenderness. As she released my lips I saw my mother sitting across from her beaming in a way, I didn't think she was capable of doing.

"You two are so sweet together. When you texted and asked to bring Alex to Christmas I wanted to say a lot of things but Bill and Cal convinced me to give her a chance and now I'm glad I did. It's a shame you can't spend the night. Next time though and don't worry, you two are courting so in our family that means you can sleep in the same bed in our house."

"Yes, my mom arrives at Penn Station just after 10 am, so we have to get Geo in bed and go right to sleep ourselves."

"Drive safely and we'll have to plan a time for the five of us to have lunch. Bill and I would love to meet her."

"And she is excited to meet you too. When Piper and I fell in love, we were both worried it would tear her family apart when all we wanted to do is join our families into one. And I'm so grateful you gave me a chance to prove that I am good for your daughter and grandson."

"You are better then good for them, dear. Drive safe," she added as the four of us got up and everybody hugged everybody, "And Piper call me the second you get home."

"I will," I answered as I watched Alex go to the media room where Geo was watching Iron-Man with Cal. She came back a few minutes later with my two favorite guys as I was saying my last goodbyes to my parents. Alex scooped up Geo into her arms while I embraced my brother, "You better not have gotten him all hyper. We need him to sleep tonight."

"I'll bet you do. You need to make out in front of the Christmas tree with your hot, rich cougar of a girlfriend."

"Call her a cougar again and see what happens. She's not that old," I declared as I stomped my feet and crossed my arms, "And it's so cute that you think all we do is kiss. Bet you think all we do in bed is have pillow fights and paint our nails too."

"Hey MILF," Alex came over and exclaimed with cool confidence like she invented the concept and I knew this was her cocky way of responding to what Cal called her. I laughed and kissed her passionately, "And both of things happened this morning," she whispered before my lips crashed against hers once more.

"Okay, I get the point now could you stop?"

"Oooo…I'm telling," I retorted in my best bratty sister voice, "Cally told two hot girls to stop kissing. I'm gonna tell all your friends that you got the chance to watch two chicks make out and turned it down. You know how many people would kill to watch a hot young blonde make out with a sexy, accomplished older woman?"

"Yes, because when one of them isn't my sister and the other my eventual sister I would be one of those guys."

"So the problem is not that you don't enjoy it but you enjoy it too much, got it."

"You are a horrible sister. Mooommmm Piper's teasing me! Make her sto-opp," he kidded but got no response, "At least that never changes. Oh, little buddy, I hope one day you know the joy of a sister. They are a pain but I wouldn't want to live in a world without her," he told Geo as he took the boy from Alex's arms for one last hug while Alex and I loaded our presents into her car.

"Okay time to give up my little man cause his Momma misses him already."

"Momma," Geo squealed as my brother and girlfriend shift my son between the two of them.

"Ready to go back to New York?"

"Yeah! Seep nuh'oom?"

"Yes. We're going back to Momma's apartment tonight," He clapped his hands suddenly as Alex's cat-like reflexes and maternal instincts took over and she managed to keep him from slipping, "You ready, babe? Cause Geo and I are."

"Lea Mommy! Summer pa'ee wif Momma!"

"Nope. Not happening," I teased as I tousled Geo's curls and put my hand around Alex's back as we walked out to the car, put Geo in his car seat with some help from Cal. I watched in disbelief as the house got smaller at how good today had gone.

I couldn't wait to get home and bask in the glow of the white lights on our Christmas tree. To admire the ornament that was front and center that said our first Christmas in a fancy red script until Alex's passion overpowered the sweetness of the moment and I ended up seeing stars of a different sort as I writhed underneath her. My walls clenching around the welcome intrusion of her fingers thrusting in perfect time and hips bucking as my need for her to fuck me deeper and harder grew stronger until there was nowhere for it to go but all over her face as I rode it hard. My hands tugging and twisting her hair as hers roughly massaged my tender, arousal engorged breasts until I sensed a big wave coming and felt her rub my clit as her tongue did a gymnastics routine inside of me that I didn't think was possible. I was so spent from lovemaking that Alex had to carry me upstairs and put pajamas on me before tucking us in and pulling me close against her body as her hand toyed with my still hard nipples as I fought between exhaustion and desire. Ultimately, exhaustion won despite my girlfriend's best efforts to the contrary and I fell into the most contented sleep of my life in her loving arms.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Took a little while longer than intended to get this chapter done right, so hopefully it's good enough that you'll forgive me.**

"Are you sure this is the outfit I should wear to meet your mom," I looked at myself in the mirror of the master bathroom. I had on one of Alex's favorite worn long-sleeved black band t-shirts, high waisted grey button-up super skinny jeans, one of three pairs of tight pants she had bought me for Christmas, and black Sherpa-lined boots.

"Oh, I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Pipes," Alex rasped as she came up behind me and kissed my shoulder, "Damn, I love those legs! I chose good!"

"The pants or the girlfriend?"

Alex's hand slowly made its way from my hips to my ass as she pressed me into the counter with her body, "If I was packing right now I would rip that tight pussy to shreds," she wrapped her arm around my navel tightly then pushed her mound hard into my ass and thrust her hips wildly against me as she grunted and gasped as if she were actually doing the action she was imitating. I felt my arousal beginning to pool between my legs but just as I was certain I couldn't hold back the tide she abruptly stopped. She soothed my whimpers from loss of contact with a kiss, "Don't you worry, babe, I have plans for those sexy legs after the kiddo is safely ensconced in dreamland. I'm gonna hoist them onto my shoulders and thrust my favorite of my cocks deep inside your warm, tight little cunt until it hurts and then when you are spent, I'm gonna fuck those tanned, toned runner's thighs until I'm fully satiated."

"Oh well, guess I'm losing a leg tonight," I teased before devouring her full lips, but before things could get truly steamy, I heard someone let themselves into the penthouse and then seconds later Nicky's voice holler up the stairs, "Hey lesbians, are you decent?"

"I don't know, are we decent, babe," Alex asked as she fixed my hair and smoothed my makeup that had become messed up from our steamy sex play.

"I'm not a lesbian," I yelled towards the stairs as Alex shot me that commanding glare that screamed, 'really what the fuck?' And I had to admit that she had a point, getting ass fucked by a hot, femme-appearing cock-wielding woman was about as lesbian as you could get, even if it was just our imaginations running wild. Then I turned my attention back to Alex who still had her arm possessively wrapped around my waist, "Never, but I don't think she needs to know that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Chapman! Where is the little breeder spawn," Nicky yelled in response before Alex could respond to my attempt at seduction.

"Yes, what she said, whatever helps you nestle your pretty little blonde head into my tits all night long," I heard her tell me in her deepest, sexiest husky tone with her lips against my ear before hollering towards the stairs, "Playing with his new toys in his room last I checked," the brunette answered as I struggled with the swirling abyss of anger and arousal that was currently overtaking my mind, body and soul. She gave me a few soothing rubs to my lower back before we grabbed Geo and headed downstairs where Nicky had already helped herself to a beer.

"Remind me again why I'm doing this," Nicky asked my girlfriend with more than a hint of attitude moments later after Alex put Geo down on the couch and started a cartoon.

"Because you love me, you know how important my mom is to me and you are the only person who has nothing else to do the day after Christmas."

"Great, Vause. I see you are still taking advantage of poor orphaned young lesbians with mommy issues in your retirement. Marriage and motherhood haven't changed you one bit."

"Oh, what a pity. You get to spend your afternoon at a multi-million-dollar penthouse raiding my kitchen instead of alone in your rented room in the Village. Just remember to stay sober enough to keep my kid safe. Don't doubt I know where every hair on that little boy belongs already! He's an awesome kid and he's your new little nephew, you two need some time to bond just as much as Piper and my mom need to meet properly before we bring our kid into it."

"I hope you got me more than just a nephew for Christmas."

"Don't worry, you know I take care of my girl."

I slapped Alex hard on her shoulder at that comment, "Your girl? Your girl, really Dr. Alex Pearl Vause? One more comment like that and those lovely plans we made for tonight fade away into a pool of nothingness!"

"Oh, what do you have planned?"

"If I told you then I'd have to use my dying breath to kill you cause my bae would kill me. I mean, c'mon Nichols, think of the children. Geo needs his mommies and we need him. I've already pissed her off, I'd like to get her back from the edge of homicidal jealousy for both our sakes!"

"Okay, when are you two coming back?"

"We have dinner reservations at six, so we'll probably be back at four to change."

"Six and a half hours?"

"Yes, and two of those are naptime so it's not as long as it seems. It's no different every other time you've watched my house, just this time you are watching something even more important as well."

"If you say so. If I can't take him another moment can I put him in a box on the stoop with a sign that says free to a good home?"

"Like hell you will," Alex turned her attention to Geo who was shooting baskets into the hoop on his slide, "And you are going to behave for Auntie Nicky, right, little man?"

"Wite! B'uhd."

"And when we come back you get to meet Momma's mommy. How about you make her a card while mommies are out?"

"Use skiers and gidder?"

"I'm sure Nicky would gladly help you."

"Yeah, when I figure out what either of those things are."

"Scissors and glitter, those aren't even that hard."

"Sorry, I was suddenly thrust into a strange alternate universe where my lone wolf best friend decided to find a mate and adopt a wolf pup without a translator or map."

"You'll do fine," Alex reassured her as we each gave our son one last round of hugs and kisses before heading out of the apartment. I heard him crying a little bit as we headed for the elevator but Alex held my hand tightly and rubbed my knuckles with her thumb until the doors closed and she hit the button for the garage.

About forty-five minutes later we were at Penn Station with hazelnut cappuccinos when a woman who looked like she walked out of the early '80s with a dyed auburn perm, pink puffy jacket and flared light wash jeans. She had striking, big light blue-green eyes and too much blush and eyeshadow but I could tell from her confident, powerful walk that this woman could be no one other than Diane Vause. My suspicion was confirmed the second I saw this woman speed up her walk the second she saw Alex and I saw my girlfriend leap out of her chair and smile with more enthusiasm than I'd ever seen from her. Alex wasn't one to let her emotions show in public, well except for one, lust. So, seeing this side of my girlfriend was like meeting a whole new person. Then I heard the woman's thick Boston accent exclaim, "Hey, baby girl. Look at you, baby," as she pulled her into a tight hug.

"Hi, mom. Did you have a good trip?"

"There was a bit of a delay but it went pretty well. Played Candy Crush on my iPad."

"Still hate me for buying you that thing?"

"Yes. You know I hate it when you buy me fancy things. A mother shouldn't be dependent on her child's money and besides, I'm not a fancy techy person. I was happy with my decade-old car that had one hundred thousand miles and my double-wide rental trailer."

"You suffered and toiled to give me a better life and I'm no different from any other poor kid of a single mom who was lucky enough to have extraordinary gifts give them a way out of poverty. You abandoned your dreams at twenty-two and nurtured mine instead. I succeeded in a big way and I want to do whatever small things I can to show my gratitude and pay you back for everything you've done for me."

"Alex, when are you going to realize some things have no material value? That you can't buy love?"

Alex looked over at me, "Well," she started before Diane noticed me sitting at a table a few feet away, "Oh you brought your new girl," Diane abruptly let go of her daughter and came over to me, "You must be Piper," she wrapped me into an awkward hug before I could figure out how to respond. I'd only done the meet the parents thing once and to say it had been terrible would be an understatement. Larry's parents had spent the last four years telling me how I'd never be good enough for their son and that my son's existence had ruined all three of their lives. Larry, of course, would always be the innocent victim in their eyes. So, Diane's warmth and instant acceptance of me in her daughter's life was completely foreign to me. Hell, a loving open-hearted mother was generally the strangest thing in the universe.

"Yeah, I am. It's so nice to meet you, Ms. Vause."

"Nobody calls me Ms. Vause, especially not my daughters. It's mom to you or if you aren't ready for that I guess you can call me Diane until you are."

"Yes, mom," I replied weakly as my voice shook and I felt those letters roll around in my mouth.

"Alex has told me so much about you," she exclaimed as she pulled me into an unexpected bear hug.

"Don't mean to interrupt the bonding but you two must be hungry."

"Diner food in the Village? I mean, if that's okay with you, Piper."

"Of course, I don't want to get in the way of you and your daughter's traditions. And I love that diner. Alex and I go there a lot."

"Oh, sweetie, don't be silly! You could never get in the way. I've hoped and prayed a lot of years for a woman like you to come along. In the meantime, I cried a lot of tears and came up with a million ways to hide a murdered corpse but now all I can do is smile because my baby is going to be okay. She finally found her someone special, the one."

"Did Alex call me that or are you interpreting her words?"

"A starry-eyed woman who vaguely resembled my daughter said those exact words to me a month ago and I'll never forget that moment. I've never seen her more in love or happier than I did when she walked into my house on Thanksgiving. And I saw this girl through her first crushes and puppy loves. I also held her when she cried over them and promised her the one was out there waiting for her. Or in her case was waiting to be old enough."

"Do you-"

"Have a problem with the age difference? I have no leg to stand on there. I can't stand hypocrisy and it would be beyond that for me to say a damn thing about my daughter dating a much younger woman. And it's not like you're the first or the one with the most age difference. I made love with an aging Rockstar, just over thirteen years my senior to be specific, at twenty-one and around two months later found myself telling my mom I had missed two periods in a row."

"Yeah what happened with that, mom?"

"You, you little asshole. You happened. My mom asked if I'd been sick lately and I told her I felt like I had a bug that no matter what I did I couldn't shake. That's when my mom told me my bug wasn't a bug and took me to the woman's clinic. I was ten weeks along by the time I knew for sure she was on the way. My mom asked for brochures about abortion but when it was me-"

"Been there, done that, raising the toddler. And I guess that feeling never gets less raw."

"No, it doesn't. Then my mom found a home for unwed mothers in Texas but I refused to go and so she told me I was on my own and that I was dead to her. I'm glad I chose to parent. A girl like Alex would have ended up in foster care or worse if I had been sent to some evangelical girl's home to have her. Some wealthy Christian conservative couple would not have been able to handle seeing their daughter on top of a girl who was practically a woman when she was ten."

"Yes, Missy, Alex's first girlfriend."

"Yes, the girl who definitely wasn't ten. Alex wouldn't tell me how old she was but she did tell me it wasn't the first time. I made sure it was the last though."

"I know how old she was but I also would like to sleep with my girlfriend tonight so I won't tell you. I also know how she learned how to do what she was doing with Missy."

"Yeah but I don't want to know."

"I wish I didn't know. It's one of those things that makes you lose your faith in humanity."

"Raising Alex wasn't easy and nobody told me the moment your baby is out and crying is only the start of the pain but I couldn't imagine not having my daughter. I thought the worse thing that could happen would be to have a son who turned into a womanizer like his father but God saw my fear and upped the ante when he gave me this slutty psychopathic womanizing whore of a daughter who had three tattoos before I knew had one. But she's my baby and nothing could ever change that or my love for her. I promised I'd never reject her like my mom did me. And that girl pushed my every limit but still, I never stopped loving her."

"Let's go get some lunch ladies."

"What is the Grinch feeling?"

"Mom! Just stop! You're embarrassing me!"

"And you are teaching your girlfriend a lesson about how long that stage lasts! Still waiting for that phrase to stop being uttered nearly forty years later!"

"Then don't do it!"

"You are never too grown miss thang."

"It's a doctor, never miss."

"No matter what my baby you will be. And right now, my baby needs a bottle or a spanking, I'm not sure which."

Alex shot me a look that was pure sex and I smacked my hands together as if I were smacking her ass. I forgot Diane was there until I heard her groan, "You're just as bad as she is. But I guess I should have expected that."

"I know, isn't she perfect and I finally found a woman who can match my height and musculature perfectly. And she's still figuring herself out so she's up for anything once."

"Just don't. I can't with you."

"Yeah Alex, behave yourself and stop pushing your mom's buttons. You are being an ass and nobody except me and her know that you are kidding."

"Alex isn't the only problem, Piper. And I'm sensing some sexual tension between you two."

Alex rolled her eyes at her mom and mouthed really before coming over and pulling me tight against her side. I turned my head to receive her kiss, I opened my mouth as she slipped me just the slightest hint of her tongue before pulling away, "Better babe?"

"It'll do for now."

"Oh, you. You really wanna join the illustrious club of chicks my mother has seen me fuck, don't you," she hissed against my ear before catching my lobe in her teeth and sucked until Diane cleared her throat loudly.

"Baby," she lowered her kisses down my arched neck as I tried to wiggle myself out of her tight grasp on my hips, "let's go get some lunch before I become lunch."

"Ugh, you two are such buzzkills. Come on you two, you are both lucky I love you so much," she declared as she grabbed Diane's rolling suitcase in one hand and gripped mine with the other as the older Vause followed closely behind us.

Soon afterward, we were eating cheeseburgers, drinking coffee and splitting an order of fries in a worn booth on Christopher Street. Diane told me her favorite stories about Alex growing up and we even started a discussion about our experiences with single motherhood. I had never talked to another single mother my age, let alone one who now had a successful adult child so it was refreshing to finally have someone to look up to as a mother.

I was finally feeling comfortable enough to ask her something I had been wondering, "How could you drop your teenage daughter off a hundred miles away and give her up entirely three years later? You said you could never give her up but isn't that what you did?"

"I couldn't hold her back. I knew she needed more than I could give her. Alex wasn't ever someone who listened to what she was told, she had to find out everything for herself before she'd believe it. She did well in school because she's a genius with a photographic memory and an excellent actress not because she studied or listened. She knows how to regurgitate information and learned how to analyze people. She knows what you want and she'll give it to you. I knew I had to let her make her own mistakes for her to succeed and maintain our relationship. I was barely old enough to have a baby when I got pregnant with her. Carrying her took a major toll on my body, I wasn't in any way ready to be a mother. But I loved my daughter and vowed to protect her from the moment I knew she was inside me. I can still remember the first time I felt her kicking and moving, she kept me up all night long. At first, it annoyed me but then it became this special time only we shared. I'd stay up all night rubbing my belly. Then as she grew older it was my heart that struggled to accommodate her needs. And I realized we had a better chance of our relationship surviving adolescence as friends than mother-daughter. Besides, she was supporting herself and living on her own. I listened to my heart even when I didn't want to hear what it was saying and let her go. I had faith one day she would need a mother and I'd be ready, now that she has you and Geo that day has finally come when I can be her mom again. When she needs me for something that only I can give her. It isn't for everyone but it was the best thing for us. I'm not gonna lie, the first few years were hard, especially when I found out she was doing porn and her fellow actresses and models when the cameras were off. Then she moved to New York and quickly met a twenty-nine-year old drug dealer-"

"Silvia?"

"That would be the devil herself. She used and abused my daughter, toying with her emotions for years. Always promising this time would be different. Until I finally told her to do us all a favor and ruin some other girl's life. My daughter was on the fast track to being someone. She may have known bigger and badder guys than I could ever find but hell hath no fury like a mother's love. Ultimately though, she only listened to Nicky but at least that cunt is gone. Doing forty years in Federal, right? Nicky is a crazy kid but will always be my other daughter, even though she tells me she already has a foster mom. I just tell her, 'well guess you have two then.' Alex wanted that one to work so bad but ultimately she just didn't have the maturity."

"And she discovered she was a full-on top and I'm a vers who can only be satisfied by other vers women."

"And I never imagined I would understand every word of that but when you give birth to the preeminent queer female sex doctor those things happen. Guess you found her?"

"Yeah and she's into BDSM and kink, another deal-breaker with Nicky who was so vanilla."

"Yeah I witnessed that little show with Piper's earlobe back at the train station, so I kinda figured that one out already. She would have let you go all day, wouldn't she?"

"Yup. We have now recovered from our first fight and haven't spent a moment apart in almost a week. I can't get enough of her and we wanted to show you something, Alex told her mom as she pulled a folded paper out of her purse and I rubbed her hand as she pushed it across the table and we watched as Diane tentatively unfolded the paper and looked at it with a confused expression.

"What is this?"

"Your biological grandchildren. Well, hopefully anyway. Well maybe the lucky few amongst them."

"But how?"

"I froze my eggs, that ovarian cyst that nearly killed me three years ago wasn't a cyst, it was a rare side effect from egg retrieval. I was going to find a surrogate but I found my future wife instead and she's willing to carry my embryos. Piper is going to have my babies. You are going to get the one thing you never thought you'd get. And we want a full house. So, you are going to have more grandbabies than you know what to do with. We have some hoops to jump through and I don't even know how it'll work after the fact but I'm going to do whatever I have to."

"You know what this means, Piper, don't you?"

I shook my head no as Diane laughed before taking on a serious tone, "You are going to have two overprotective mothers riding your ass next time you get pregnant. If you are going to have my daughter's baby then I'll treat you exactly like I would if Alex were pregnant. For better or worse."

"I wouldn't expect anything less. I like you, Diane. We have so much more in common than loving Alex. I've never had anybody in my life who understood me or that I could look up to."

"I'll always be here for you, sweetie. You are an amazing young woman who deserves more than what she's been given. And I will do anything I can to help you and support you as you go through life. You make my daughter happy and you are the first person she's introduced me to that I fully approve of, that's worthy of her."

"Thanks, mom."

"Are my favorite ladies ready to do some shopping," Alex interrupted.

"I am. How about you, Diane?"

"Definitely," we got up and Alex put two hundreds down on the table and neatly stacked two crisp twenties on top for our food then we walked out into the frosty air and drove to Fifth Avenue. We spent the next few hours wandering around expensive top-label stores and charming boutiques where Alex bought Diane and me whatever we wanted. As we were walking back to the car, I became distracted by a jewelry store window that hadn't yet shifted from Christmas to Valentine's Day. Diane and Alex walked ahead, too caught in their conversation to notice that they'd lost me half a block ago until the older Vause turned around and I saw her tug Alex's arm.

"Baby, have you noticed that we've lost somebody rather important?"

Alex looked beside Diane and noticed I was no longer next to her, "Oh shit. I swear I don't make a habit of losing my girlfriend."

"Sure, you don't you self-centered idiot. Are you sure you are a genius, you twit?"

"Yeah. I'm just a shitty human, I know. I know."

"No baby, you aren't because shitty humans don't get pure-hearted, sweet, beautiful women like that girl. Have you noticed what she's doing?"

"Yeah she's been dropping hints for two weeks. She doesn't know I've been looking at jewelers since I got home after meeting Geo. I want to but I won't buy an evening gown off the rack, much less an engagement ring. C'mon, mom, it's the most important purchase I'll ever make. And I want to make sure she never sees the same ring on some other bi-uh, sorry mom-chick's finger. I want her to know how special she is and that I place her above every other woman, well except for you."

"That girl is the only exception I'll ever make to my insistence on being number one. I know you are going to resist me trying to school you on women because you think being a lesbian trumps the twenty-two years of being female that I have on you but it's not just about the big things with women or giving them orgasms. Women need to feel secure, especially when they have a kid and choose to share that kid with somebody. That girl has done things even I could never imagine doing and she's got a spring in her step and a smile on her face through it all. It doesn't have to be the ring and I don't think she expects it to be. She just wants the symbol, to know she's not making the biggest mistake of her life. She's scared, she'd never admit it but she is and only one person can reassure her is you. So buy her a ring if that's what she wants, what she needs to maintain her self-assurance. She wants the world to know she's yours and isn't that what you've been searching for over the past seven years? A girl who is ready and willing to be only yours forever and make a home for you?"

"Yes. And I know she wanted the Christmas romance cliché proposal but I want a little more time. I want us to have a home and bond with Geo just a little more. I'm going to marry her but there are so many things I have to think about."

"Then make sure she knows what's in your heart, that you want to work towards that commitment. You are dating a younger, newly out woman, which means you are going to have to put your big girl panties on more often and make the first move. You have the skills and experience, she doesn't. You need to be willing to take the lead in your relationship because she wants to tell you things but she can't because she doesn't know how. You chose to take this on, so do what you have to do to help her find herself."

"Okay, mom."

"You want me to come with you girls or do you want to do this just you two?"

"Neither of you would let me live it down if you missed this moment. Come on, let's go get my girl a ring and let her pick one for me too."

Nearly an hour later we left the store with two rings, a rose gold band with a ring of pink diamonds for me and a white gold one with an almond-shaped onyx stone around diamond encrusted vines for her. I loved the way it shimmered on my finger. How it felt on my ring finger. Everyone would know I was a taken woman. I also had a bit of fear because I knew this band would force me to constantly make the choice whether to out myself as queer to the world in every interaction that I had but as our fingers interlocked and rings touched I knew I was ready.


	33. Chapter 33

We rushed back to the penthouse, our detour to the jewelry store had gotten us off schedule but Diane soothed our type-A need to control everything and our worries about Geo as Alex drove like a bat out of hell through the busy Manhattan streets. Alex drove into the garage and turned into her spot erratically and we ran for the elevator and I quickly unlocked the door as Diane looked on with a smirk that I was beginning to think was an inherited Vause trait. A realization that only made me want to have her babies even more.

"You gave her a key?"

"Well, it's her home too."

"You are gonna kill me in a whole other way."

"Never. I want you around. Somebody has to help me figure out how to be half the mom you are."

"I want to stick around for a long time. Let's meet this kid of yours. I still can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth."

Before we could say anything, Geo came running and hit Alex's legs hard then started to cry, "Hey buddy. Be careful, sweetheart," she picked him up and held him against her chest as she rocked him in her arms, "Shhh, baby. I know you were just excited to see your mommies. Did you have a good day?"

He nibbled his bottom lip and shook his head yes. "What did you do little man," Alex asked as Nicky turned around and saw Diane, the two went running for each other excitedly as the older Vause pulled the redhead into her arms with cries of my little baby and mom. I brought our bags into the apartment as Alex and Diane were lost in their respective conversations.

"So, what did Momma promise to bring you when she came home?"

"Tuptwakes and cocoa?"

"No. But if you are really good at dinner and you still want cupcakes and cocoa then we can go get some."

"Wha'b Mommy?"

"Well, we'll get her a cupcake too. A nice pink one that she'll whine about being too sweet. But Momma brought you something even more exciting than cupcakes. Momma brought her mommy. What do you say, little man, you ready to meet my mom?"

"She's ready to meet you," Diane declared as she walked over to the curly-haired boy clinging to my girlfriend's shoulder, "He is so cute. My God, look at those curls," she reached out to touch his hair but he buried his head deeper into her shoulder.

"He's not usually this shy, mom."

"I don't think he's being shy. I just think in addition to not knowing how to use a hairbrush, idiot daughter number two doesn't know that toddlers need naps whether they want them or not. He acts just like you when you get tired. I didn't expect to see commonalities between you and him but he has your personality as a kid down to a tee. He even has some similar features. It's crazy."

"Or my girl has a type."

"I do not."

"So, you don't have a thing for round faces, big almond-shaped eyes and dark hair? Huh, cause I know otherwise. Nicky, does my girl have a type?"

"Everybody does. It's not a bad thing. We are biologically determined to find certain traits attractive. Yeah, you have a type, Chapman and Vause thank your lucky stars you are it except with a bigger dick than she's used to. Looks like you got past that problem though."

"Nicole Nichols," Alex shouted as she covered Geo's ears as if she could prevent him from hearing what her crazy best friend had said after the fact.

"Yes, Nicole Nichols, I don't want to hear about my daughter's dick. And I don't think her son does either. I would prefer not to utter the phrase but here we are in this strange world of sexuality and gender that I somehow ended up in," Diane smiled as she looked at the three of us and Geo in her biological daughter's arms, "And I love every minute of it just please behave yourselves."

"Yes, mom," both women said with a more dismissive posture than I had ever seen from them.

"Now, what are we going to do with this little one. Let me see if this works," she pulled a bag of gummy bears from her purse, "This was how I bribed Alex when she was his age. Can I, Piper? They're organic, Alex told me how you are."

"Just a few."

"Of course," she told me before turning her attention to Geo, "Do you like gummy bears?"

"Uh-huh."

"You are almost three, right?"

"Uh-huh."

Diane opened the bag and put three on her palm, making sure to get a green one as Alex smiled and I figured that was her favorite, "Here you go, buddy. You have to chew them."

"I doe! I haded gummy wums in cass at Haween."

"Do you like school?"

"Wike tool home more. Get wearn y'ant."

"What do you like to learn," she asked as Alex started trying to nudge our son onto her mom's hip and he became open to the idea.

"Science, bi'ing and art. Awso wike cook."

"I like to cook too. Have you ever made lasagna," she asked as he held his hands out and let her hold him as she ran her hand along his back with a look of disbelief followed by one of sheer bliss.

"No."

"How would you like to be my special helper tomorrow when I make my famous lasagna for your moms?"

"Hey, I thought I was your special helper!"

"Take your girlfriend to a movie or an art museum, Alex. When's the last time you had a day to yourselves?"

Alex struggled to come up with when the last thing that would be considered a real date was so I answered, "I don't think we've had that since Miami, a month ago."

"Shit. I don't know how we let it go that long."

"Don't blame yourself, baby. Holidays are tough even if you've already found your balance," she told Alex before turning her attention back to Geo, "Now then, do you wanna help Gigi cook, my baby boy?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, then. But you have to be really good."

"Pomise. Wan'u wike me."

"I already do and I always will. How about we let your mommies get ready to go to dinner and I do something with that hair of yours?"

"Only wike mommies com hair. Ebe ese gives me ouchies."

"I won't give you ouchies. I've been combing kids' hair for way longer than your mommies have."

"How long?"

"Fifty years."

"That's bi'er I can count!"

"Piper, is it okay with you if I finish getting him ready?"

"Yeah. And there should be a red sweater vest in his closet, can you get it on him?"

"Of course."

"I should head home," Nicky sighed as the four of us started to head upstairs.

"You are welcome to come. The reservation is for five and most places don't count kids. I'm sure mom won't mind."

"Don't you want to spend family time or something?"

"You are family. I'd love to have dinner with all three of my daughters. I hardly get to see you, Nicky dear."

"Piper, are you okay with this?"

"Diane is the guest of honor so it's really her decision."

"How WASPy of you."

"Ugh, stop saying that."

"Stop acting like a WASP and I will."

"Nicky! Don't make me come down there. Leave Piper alone. She's just trying to be polite, you know something you could use being more often. Now, before I change my mind, will you be joining us for prime rib?"

"Geez. Not you too, you've become that which you eat."

"Yes, Ms. Nichols will you be dining with my mother, beloved and I this fine winter evening?"

"Funny, Alex and yes. Just come back from the WASP side."

"It's not so bad. This is my life now. And I want you to be a part of it."

"Well, I did survive my day with your kid. And I like Piper even if she is a bit pretentious and into herself. And they make you happy so that's enough for me. It's just so weird to see you with a partner and a kid. To see you make something else your priority after being Good-Time-Vause for so long."

"People grow up, Nicky. I'm almost forty, I can't act like I'm twenty-five anymore. I love NYU, Piper, Geo, my mom and you. I need all five of those things to feel whole."

"I'll always be here, you weirdo. You still have that black pantsuit of mine in your office?"

"Yeah. I'll bring it down."

Half an hour later we headed out of the penthouse with Geo starting to fall asleep in his stroller the second we placed him in it. Diane got him into his car seat without him shifting the slightest as I looked on in awe. Before she got into the car she rubbed my arm and whispered, "Your baby is almost three, mine is almost thirty-nine. I have thirty-six years of motherhood on you. You'll get there."

"Would now be a bad time to tell you that you have seven years of motherhood on my own mother," I whispered back as Alex and Nicky got into her car.

"Unless you want to watch me strangle my daughter never say that again," Diane commanded with that same icy glare her daughter had, the one that cut right through me.

"Won't mention it again," I answered as Diane climbed into the car and I climbed in next to Alex in the front seat and we headed out to dinner. I watched how Alex and Nicky acted more like typical sisters, except with a large age gap, every moment they spent together and Geo slowly warmed up to Diane as she got him to try small pieces of her prime rib and stole bites of his mac and cheese. The waiter complimented Diane on her beautiful daughters and handsome, well-behaved grandson multiple times, which made me the happiest woman alive. We stayed in the restaurant for what felt like all night, laughing then Alex took Nicky home and Diane decided to go home with us for a couple of hours. She helped get Geo to bed and then brought out Alex's baby book and the childhood photo album of her as Alex kept turning beet red and I swooned over baby Alex until Diane got tired and Alex called her an Uber before we headed up to bed.


	34. Chapter 34

"We have everything, babe," Alex asked Geo who was finishing breakfast while I checked our suitcases one last time.

"I hope so. Do you really need a suit and two dresses?"

"You should know I do. I can't wear a business dress to a cocktail party, c'mon babe, you know this. I thought your mother raised you right."

"I hate you sometimes. I thought I packed too many clothes to go anywhere but you are in a whole other stratosphere."

"Welcome to lesbianism."

"I'm not a lesbian."

"I'll remember that later when the kid is in bed and your mouth starts searching for a nipple or a clit."

"Well, Vause it looks like you just won the prize tonight for that remark. You get to put our kid to bed."

"That's really supposed to be a punishment," Alex asked with a commanding tone before turning her attention to Geo, "Hey buddy, you have everything packed in your backpack?

"Our last seep eddie?"

"Yes, we have to get up really early tomorrow morning, so you need to go to bed. Do you want PJs or to sleep in your clothes for the morning?"

"Seep wonger ih wha coes?"

"You are definitely your mother's son. You'll do anything for a few seconds more of sleep."

"O'tours. I camed fom her bewey!"

"And where else?"

He pointed his finger and tapped Alex just above her left breast with his hand, "Momma heart!"

"That's my boy," Alex exclaimed as she pulled him into a tight hug and lifted him onto her hip then disappeared up the stairs. About half an hour later Alex appeared back downstairs again and went straight to the kitchen, I was beyond angry at being ignored but couldn't avoid smiling as I heard her put a kettle on for tea and grab two mugs from the cabinet.

"Hey, baby," I sighed as I wrapped my hands around her waist and kissed her shoulder like we had never squabbled once in our relationship, let alone moments ago, "Geo go down okay?"

"Yes. I read him that book I bought the other day about airports. He's so excited. He wants to meet the pilot."

"Can I meet the pilot?"

"You don't have to wait until tomorrow if you want that. Captain Vause has a big cock and can fly you around the world whenever you want too. I have the outfit."

"You do? Do I get to decide what I want to be?"

"Sure."

"How about angry wealthy first-class passenger businesswoman who you can tell needs a good fuck. She's so used to being in control and holding men's dicks in a vice that she neglects her need for sex. You see her and know exactly what she needs."

"I like it."

"You sure you don't want to wind down for the night?"

"We can play a little."

Just as Alex turned around and started to tiptoe towards the stairs I got a better idea, "Baby, I changed my mind," I watched as she stopped in her tracks then came over and touched my upper arms.

"You tired? That's okay, baby. We should probably go to bed anyway."

"Is that what, you know, you want," I asked through lust-filled eyes as I reached my hand out and ran it underneath her shirt as I felt her diaphragm suck in and I knew what she wanted but she wasn't sure if I did too, "Because I'm still up to play. I just had a better idea," I told her as I scraped along her toned abs.

"Oh, did you now?"

"Yes. A woman like her doesn't need a man. She's had enough nameless airport and hotel bar hookups with lackluster cocks that neither her nor her pussy recall after the fact. She needs to be fucked but let's be honest, no man can adequately fuck a woman like that. Some male pilot came on to her she'd probably lay him out on the floor but if it was a hot lesbian pilot, she might consider it. She's never thought about having sex with a woman until the pilot comes over to see if everything is okay with their very important passenger and she turns and sees the hottest former Navy fighter pilot standing before her. Once she has her calmed down, she ends up kissing her and once the plane lands she invites her back to her swanky New York apartment so she won't have to crash at some business class hotel with stale Danishes and weak coffee. And that's where you come in, I mean if you choose to play with the new rules."

"Somebody has watched a little too much _Top Gun_."

"I don't know Dr. Vause, I'm thinking you have the crush on Kelly McGillis. That's called projection. Come on now, aren't you supposed to be one of the world's top psychiatrists?"

"It's Captain," she teased as she started kissing me roughly and pushing me into the kitchen counter. She pulled my flannel pajama bottoms and panties down and placed me on the counter.

"What are you doing?"

"Why, miss, I'm showing you how getting fucked should feel. I can make your pussy feel things no man's cock ever will. You knew what I wanted and you liked when I kissed you. Admit it, you imagined those lips on yours every time I came on the loudspeaker, especially when I announced our descent. Now it's time for my tongue's descent into your pussy. Assuming the tower clears me for landing, that is."

"On the counter, Captain Vause?"

"You're lucky I didn't just put the plane on autopilot and come into the cabin and take care of you personally when you threw that drink at my favorite flight attendant. But I'm tired of girls, tonight I need a woman. A powerful, beautiful, fit woman. What never made love not on your back on a soft surface?"

"I've had plenty of over-eager dudes push me against a wall and push their hard-on against my dry pussy and expect me to do something about their arousal. I would let them push my thong off and get what they wanted no matter how much it hurt. I'd do everything I could to make it end as soon as possible," Piper responded as she tried to stay in character as she described something very real from her past.

"Well, this is nothing like that. This is all about your pleasure. So have you ever done oral?"

"You mean has anyone?"

"Yes, or do the guys you've been with expect you to swallow their junk without putting their mouth on yours?"

"Who wants to bury their face in a smelly cunt?"

"Who wants to put a sweaty dick in their mouth? And yours smells," she dipped down and lowered her face between my legs as they opened for her without me having to send the thought down from my brain, "divine." She swiped her hand along my slit as my hands gripped the charcoal grey concrete counter and arched my back as her hand so close to my throbbing clit as my need became overwhelming. "You like when I touch you like this?"

"Ye-es. It's never been touched so tenderly before. I need you."

"Where?"

"My clit."

Alex smirked and then began rubbing in smaller circles the closer she got to my tender nub until finally she came in for a landing and I gasped for air. "That feel good, baby? You are so wet."

"Nobody's ever gotten me so wet so fast."

"Only a woman can ever truly know how to please a woman. Women are so deep and complex. It's why I love making love to them. It's exhilarating to watch a woman come undone beneath you."

"Do you only make love to women?"

"Exclusively. I'm what's called a gold star."

"Do you ever let them make love to you?"

"Are you offering?"

"Maybe."

"Let's see if you have anything left when I'm done with you," those were the last words I heard before I felt her fingers push my lips open and her tongue tracing my folds, gradually going deeper with each lick until she looked up for a moment and I looked down with raw desire as my heartbeat out of my chest. I felt her tongue enter me slowly and gently as she savored every part of me until I was grasping her hair to pull her face as deep into my cunt as it could go. With one slightly out of character lick to what Alex knew was the spot I came hard all over her face as Alex threw her hand over my mouth to silence my screams, at least one of us remembered we had a kid who would make a hundred lives in addition to ours hell tomorrow if Mommy's orgasm woke him up. When the waves subsided Alex ran her mouth along my thigh before kissing me softly. Alex looked over at the microwave clock, "We have to be up in four hours and I'm not a resident anymore. I'm an old woman who needs her beauty rest and you have a tendency to turn into more of a toddler than our toddler when you are tired."

"Is that a nice way of saying I turn into a raging, entitled bitch?"

"I would never."

"Sure, Dr. Vause."

"I love you. Tomorrow is a big deal for all of us. He's never flown before and I've never traveled with a plus one. They've always made it clear that was an option but they also knew my not so ladylike feelings on the subject."

"Yeah. I'm too excited to sleep."

"After that orgasm I'm surprised you haven't fallen off the counter. You want me to make you that tea or give you a sippy cup of milk with just a tiny squeeze of chocolate?"

"Huh, chocolate, no wonder he prefers when you put him to bed."

"Shit. I did it once before I learned you can never sneak two-year-old chocolate once."

"I'm not mad. If it gets him to sleep and it's not dosing him with antihistamines I don't care what you do."

Alex reached for the bottle of Don Julio and poured two shots, "speaking of that, I wasn't sure how you were with flying so I took home a couple of Ativan samples."

"I tried to get my doctor to write me a script for something to settle me but he never would. I'm horrible on planes."

"Yeah, I guessed as much judging from your personality. And I take them too, mainly for the landing so I take it later. You probably could use it now but mixing alcohol and benzos is a big no-no so I'll give it to you in the morning if you want."

"You are the best girlfriend ever."

"So I've been told. Let's go to bed," she lifted me off the counter but before she could put me on the floor I wrapped my legs around her waist, "Yeah, sure, Pipes. Of course, I'll carry you to bed," she laughed as she tightened her grip on my back and kissed me as we headed to our room, pausing briefly to peer into Geo's partially open bedroom door and check that he was still happily sleeping before we got into our bed.

Twelve hours later we were in a hotel suite on the Magnificent Mile with an amazing view of Chicago. I had somehow managed to get through the airport completely high and Geo had gotten his wish and the pilot let him into the cockpit. I knew it had more to do with the business class ticket and six-figure airline miles my girlfriend had but he was overjoyed and I made sure he thanked the pilot as he pinned bronze wings on his sweatshirt. People gave us dirty looks and even dirtier ones when we walked into the first class cabin but it was the story of my life and lucky for them Alex downloaded a LEGO superhero game on her phone despite my protests but it worked and kept our son quiet for two hours.

"I don't want to go to this thing. I just want to sit on the floor drawing superheroes."

"You look hot in that," I told her as my hands grabbed the corners of her black suit jacket and my eyes ran up her black suede ankle boots to her black pinstripe white button-down shirt, "And you have to go. It's work."

"It's a welcome reception. And Geo is still saying his ear hurts. He needs me."

"Did you suddenly become a pediatrician?"

"What were we thinking, taking a kid on a plane in winter?"

"If I've learned one thing as a young single mom, it's don't mom-shame yourself cause there's a long line of moms waiting to do it for you. And the second they see you doing it, you give them even more of an opening to do it to you. Would Geo be welcome down there?"

"A kid as sweet as him? He's welcome anywhere. Maybe he'll be up to the p-a-r-k. And we have to get some food into this kid."

"And I'm famished."

"You're always hungry lately. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Keep dreaming, Dr. Vause. Only d-i-c-k I'm getting is yours. And unfortunately no matter how hard you f-u-c-k me I'm not getting knocked up, even if I am two days late."

"Are you?"

"Yeah but for the first time in my life I'm not freaking out about it."

"How many times are we talking about?"

"Would you believe two?"

"Nope."

"How about a number between two and fourteen. I'm an athlete, I'm irregular but I also like sex a lot."

"Really, I couldn't tell, babe. I just thought you forgot where my eyes were. And it's that lace lined black silk one you love."

"One more comment like that and you won't be getting any tonight. Now take those hot tits downstairs."

"Yes, babe. You sure you don't want to pee on a stick just to be safe?"

"Sure, I'll get right on that just in case, I mean you are like god's gift so immaculate conception isn't outside the realm of possibility. Let's go have a drink, mingle and then see how many gummy bears it'll take our kid to become obnoxious and beg to go see the bean in the park."

"So diabolical. Geo put up your crayons. We're gonna go to a party and then mommies are going to take you to the park. And if you're good, you can choose dinner."

"There be cake?"

"Will it get you to clean up your art stuff and come over here with your coat and boots?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then we'll get you cake but you have to eat extra green veggies."

"Shouldn't you ask his mother first?"

"Hey, new rule, no mommy shaming your kid's other mother. If we make a deal and then he breaks it I'll make sure he receives consequences. Like no sweets all day tomorrow if he spoils his dinner. You hear that buddy," she pointed at our son.

"Yes, Momma. Cai wear puffy coat?"

"Yeah. Come here. I'll put it on you."

We headed out of the room and downstairs. We spent the next two weeks balancing work with family time. I took him to Navy Pier, past Wrigley Field, to parks and the aquarium, we stole Alex for an afternoon and went to the zoo. We found a few hours one morning to go to the planetarium together and one day Alex met us at the Science museum during her lunch break. Alex surprised me by hiring a babysitter one night and taking me to Andersonville and Boystown for dinner and dancing. On our final day we took him to a huge LEGO store that was part indoor theme park and when he asked what the building next door was and we said it was a doll store and only became more excited we took a deep breath and decided to let the other moms judge the two moms taking their son to the doll store because he asked us to. He loved every minute of it, especially the pizza. The last thing he said as we waited in our seats for the plane home to take off was, "Mommy, I'm sad." And I told him there would always be more trips as I kissed him and then Alex.


	35. Chapter 35

Two months later Alex had tenure and I had sole custody of Geo complete with a no-contact order against Larry's parents that extended to me, Geo and my family. We were living at Alex's apartment, even if it did quickly reveal itself to be a bachelor pad that had outlived its one job of impressing chicks. We had started discussing moving across the river to New Jersey where we'd have the perfect balance of a short commute for Alex and space for Geo to roam where we wouldn't have to worry about him plummeting to his death on open slat stairs. Alex almost had the candidates for a part-time psychiatrist for her practice but today we had Geo's third birthday party. Ten kids at a space-themed birthday party complete with a weird science show and painting rocket ship-shaped piggy banks plus my parents, Cal, Nicky, Lorna, Red, and Diane. After cake and dropping the presents off at our penthouse while Alex and our very hyper son showed my family around as they tried not to show how impressed they were with the place. Meanwhile, Diane helped me put Geo's gifts in Alex's office for later. When we got back downstairs my mother exclaimed, "Well, Piper. This is nice but how are you paying for your half of the rent? You are an unemployed single mother."

"First of all, I have a job that I love. Yes, I work for my girlfriend but I still get a paycheck and the satisfaction that comes from doing something I enjoy and that I'm good at. And I don't pay rent, I would if she wanted me to but she doesn't. I just help with food, utilities, and Geo's needs. Not that Alex doesn't spend too much money on him anyway."

"And she shouldn't have to. He's not her responsibility. Now we really must be going if we are going to make our dinner reservations. Alex, Ms. Vause I hope you two have a great night."

"Mother, I made reservations for seven."

"Birthday dinners have always been for immediate family only."

"Which they are. Alex is Geo's only other parent and Diane is his Gigi. They video chat every Wednesday night and sometimes on Sunday afternoons if we all have the day off. And sometimes he wakes up and asks to say good morning to Gigi so we call or text her. From now on, anything that concerns Geo or me will include them. When it's your birthday you decide who comes, just know if Alex isn't invited then I'm not likely to show up."

Before my mother could respond my dad butted in, "Honey, Alex is a great woman. Look at the amazing home she was able to purchase on her own. Look how happy Piper and Geo are and isn't that all we've ever wanted for them? Piper is finally doing well for herself and shacking up with a worthy partner. Hopefully, you two don't decide to shack up forever, gay marriage is legal and acceptable these days. We already have one child who wants nothing to do with us, could you handle it if our only daughter followed suit because you couldn't get over this vision you had for her of the perfect tall, dark handsome man and three kids. Maybe you didn't get your dream son-in-law but if you would open your eyes maybe you would see that what we got was way better than what we could have imagined for them. It's Piper's life and she isn't hurting anybody. If this woman makes all her dreams come true and lets her have the sort of lifestyle that gives her more time to be a mother to possibly the only child she'll ever have than what's so wrong about that? Unless your true issue is that you are jealous of Alex and another woman being able to be what your daughter needs, to nurture her dreams. To give her the things you either never could give her or she never wanted from you. Alex and her wonderful mother are welcome at any function anytime. She is raising a child who isn't hers and that says a lot about her character. If Piper says the three of them, sorry four, are a family than they are and deserve to be seen as such. I am very sorry about my wife, Alex, and Diane. We would be grateful if you would join us for dinner, as long as that is what my grandson wants."

"Momma! Gigi!"

"Well, you heard him. And Carol, honey, do you have something you would like to say?"

"Yes. I am still adjusting to this. Piper claims she knew that she had these proclivities for sixteen years, I've only known for a few months. I mean, sure the signs were there if I had chosen to read them but I didn't want to think my tomboyish athletic daughter who hated everything girly could be gay. You probably think I'm an idiot and sometimes I do too. A mother is supposed to know her child deeper than anybody else but I didn't know."

"I knew my daughter was gay when she wasn't quite two. Still, when the calls about her playing doctor started coming when she was five I convinced them it wasn't sexual and after a while, I convinced myself until I caught her doing something with another girl when she was ten and there was no denying what it was. Until your kid says the words you can come up with every imaginable excuse. Because being gay isn't a life anyone would choose for their child. No parent wants their child to have a hard life and have to deal with society's hatred and judgment in the name of a Christian God or whatever other boneheaded excuses they can come up with. I worry about my child every moment of every day. The world is dangerous and sweet boys get tied to fences and my daughter has chosen to be as out and sex-positive as possible. Few people, if anyone, were publicly out when my daughter came out and they definitely weren't ten. A simple Google search reveals where she works and her sexuality. I don't have a problem with my daughter's sexuality and I don't think you do either. Your problem is with a world that isn't ready for the special girl you were lucky enough to be chosen to usher into this world. The world isn't ready for our daughters and it may never be but nothing is ever going to change if nobody dares to stand up and say this is me, this is who I love and this is our family. They are meant to leave their mark on the world. I don't want my daughter to be silent just because the world isn't ready for her to exist. Do you?"

"No, I don't. My daughter was always so independent and strong-willed. She challenged me and still does. She always had to do the complete opposite of everything I did or wanted her to do. And that makes it even harder for me to believe that this is who she is."

"Look at her. Love looks the same no matter the physical characteristics of their object of affection. Besides, she's a smart woman. She isn't going to give up her apartment and company unless she's hopelessly in love. Your daughter is bisexual. You can't change her but you can make her life a little easier and maybe help the world get to where it can handle her."

"I don't know how to do that."

"Do what you've been doing since the moment you knew she was in your belly, love her. And there are support groups. I started one in Springfield, not because I had the time but because I knew I couldn't be the only one. I had to know. I wanted my baby to find love and I was worried she never would. Now I volunteer when I can with parents and middle schoolers who don't believe their parents will ever accept them."

"I can do that I guess."

"Yeah and I'm here for you."

"Why are you being kind to me?"

"Because I've been there and said worse. Now let's get some dinner and get to know each other. We have to learn how to work together. I know I don't fit in with your fancy pants friends from the country club and I don't want to but we have to do what's in the best interest of the three-year-old in the middle of all this. And the grown baby I couldn't love more if I had birthed her myself. You may never love my baby the way I love yours and that's okay."

"Yes, I wouldn't want to be late."

We headed to the restaurant where Alex pulled my dad aside and the two spent the whole time that we were waiting for our table talking in the bar as I tried to spy. Diane told me that could only mean one thing and I wondered if she had already been clued into something when she was uncharacteristically evasive towards my questioning. We made it through dinner relatively peacefully and my parents and brother drove back to Connecticut as Diane, Alex, Geo and I headed back to the penthouse. Diane poured the two of us some wine, left the bottle on the coffee table as we lounged on her couch, my legs in my girlfriend's lap as she massaged them. I watched Diane disappear upstairs and then heard the water in the spare bathroom turn on. Nobody except me had ever bathed Geo alone, Alex had helped a few times but I figured she had an idea about what she was doing so I enjoyed the wine and massage until she came back downstairs an hour later.

"Wow. I thought for sure you'd be naked underneath my daughter by now. Guess you have matured."

"We have a kid. Sex on the couch and every other imaginable downstairs surface happens frequently. Just touching genitals isn't the only sexually fulfilling thing we do regularly. Since we're on the subject-"

"Alex, you may be a sex therapist but you aren't mine."

"You have one?"

"If I did, I would have asked you for recommendations. So, no. As for that other thing, I just don't need it like you do."

"Bullshit. All women need it, it's a primal thing."

"Last I checked you weren't into that."

"I wasn't until I had baby blue doe-eyes looking up and asking for a double-sided dildo and because I haven't said no to her yet and I trust her I tried it and liked it. C'mon, you need someone to give you wine and massages. And I want that for you. You finally get to see your daughter hopelessly in love and now your daughter wants to see her mom in love. You waited decades to see me in love, well so have I."

"I'm a grandmother. What guy is going to want to fuck a fucking grandma? Most guys my age still have kids in college and shit. They don't want to look at pictures of my grandson."

"I don't know, he is the cutest kid in the world."

"I'm not disputing that fact. Just I'm not sure anyone else will agree."

"And he's biologically a Vause," I asked Diane in a commanding tone.

"No. And that's what makes it even harder for me to think anyone can love him like that."

"You'll never know if you don't try, mom."

"I was certain nobody would ever love my kid like I did so I decided that was it, I'd just be asexual. Put everything into my kid. I know how much it eats you up inside. Your baby is grown with a partner and a baby of her own. You did your job, now it's time to let yourself live."

"I don't even know how to date. I wouldn't know how to pick up a guy in a bar in my sixties. I want something deeper. One of my friends drug me to this speed dating thing a year ago and it was just sad."

"Yeah those things are pretty sad."

"I went to a bisexual one last August. It was pretty fun."

"August, babe?"

"We were just talking. You wanted to make it exclusive in August you should have put on your big girl panties and made it happen, Al."

"She has a point, baby girl. And I'm sure you weren't faithful before you officially met."

"Ugh, you both suck!"

"So far my best option is bisexual speed dating but that's not a viable option when you're the mother of dragons. And I've listened to enough dyke drama from my baby."

"There's always the internet."

"I could never. What about those what do they call them, trouts?"

"Catfishes. And just be smart. If he asks for money or seems too good to be true, he probably is. And if anything seems suspicious just forward the message or pics to me or Piper."

"I hear guys like to send pictures of their junk to women."

"Yeah, they do," I replied, "If that happens you send me the pic and we'll have a nice laugh together about all the things that are wrong with his junk. And then I'll tell him to be a gentleman with my mother-in-law and make sure he knows what will happen if he doesn't change his ways. I domesticated this one. You think some asshole who thinks his dick is special stands a chance against me?"

"Okay sign me up."

We spent the next three hours drinking wine and making dating profiles for Diane before the two of us went upstairs to our room, leaving Diane downstairs with sheets and a thick rose-patterned quilt she had once made for her daughter when she was homesick during med school. "Maybe I'll have to take up quilting again. It's been a while since I've had a reason to knit or quilt," Diane declared when we were halfway up the stairs. Alex turned around and smiled then wrapped her hand around my navel, "Maybe you should. What do you say, Pipes?" "I'm drunk and you know what happens when I get drunk." "Just don't wake up and regret it in the morning." "Never." "Well, then I'm gonna rock your world, babe." I could feel Diane rolling her eyes at our exchange as we kissed and tried to be quiet on our way to our room where she threw me on the bed and stripped as I watched then went to the closet and grabbed our current favorite toy. I watched her stick the insert inside her and put on her favorite harness with the little vibrator.

"Come here."

"Well, you are horny, aren't you?"

"And you're hard and wet. We're a match made in heaven. Wet pussy, wet pussy, hard cock."

Alex walked as seductively as she could and then climbed on top of me as she kissed me and snaked her hand up my shirt. I gasped as her hands clutched my breasts wildly underneath my t-shirt.

"Let's get you out of these clothes," Alex teased as she pulled my shirt off, "Look at those titties."

"Bet you want to suck them."

"I do. You have nice tits."

"I don't know, I think yours are nicer," I barely got out between gasps as she started toying with my breasts with her mouth. Not another word was spoken between us and the deluge of kisses and caresses never let up until my pants were off and she had her cock angled between my legs, the head just touching my pussy and begging for entrance. I tried to say yes but no words would come out so I smiled and bit my lip then she kissed me as she pushed a lock of blonde hair away from my face. She entered me gently as I adjusted to the intrusion before gradually quickening her speed and deepening her thrusts. She lifted my legs to her shoulders when she was close and hit the spot she knew could make me cum in seconds if she touched it right. Her orgasm made her thrusts wilder and more vigorous as a hail of I love yous and expletives streamed out of her mouth and I dug my nails into her back as she fucked me until I came hard around her. She eased up her thrusts and just let my muscles do what they needed to feel maximum pleasure. When we were spent she rolled off and collapsed on her back with the toy glistening, standing at attention between her legs and I wanted it. I shifted my position and moved my body until my head was level with her waist then rolled over and wrapped my lips around the toy.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: This chapter has goodies for everyone...Nichorello are progressing in their relationship...Then there's some serious Vauseman tension and Alex being her cocky asshole self which leads the two with no choice but to fight and fuck and fight again. Oh and there's some business with Piper's wild pre-baby past, a motorcycle, leather, and a three million dollar car. Any volunteers to wax Alex's car? How about polish her bike? Enjoy the early treats, the next chapters are Piper's birthday followed by their first international vacation so things are gonna be full of fluffy, smutty Vauseman.**

Nearly two months later, Manhattan was finally starting to finally feel warm again after the craziest cold season of my life. Everything was coming into a new awareness and worshipping the promise of the beauty ahead, including me and Alex. But lately, I had been struck with some serious growing pains.

Life had undergone so many shifts without a moment to breathe in the first months of this year that listing them made my head spin. We had decided to hire Lorna as our nanny. Geo was enrolled in swimming and, after a lot of arguments, martial arts classes. He was also signed up for a sports exploration class at Chelsea Sports Center and a summer STEAM day camp for preschoolers that he woke up asking about every morning. Geo got into our top choice Manhattan pre-K program for the upcoming fall term after Alex offered them a hefty donation.

Alex had warned me that she always spent most of the spring semester on the road traveling a lot for various conferences and to accept accolades for her work but I didn't know how bone-crushing it would be until it happened to me. We lived together but rarely saw each other. Still, Alex made sure to always read Geo a book before bed and sing him to sleep before I took our Skype call into our room where Alex did whatever it took to get me to sleep. It was good but it could never be the same. Touching myself could never feel as good as when we were touching each other. Luckily now I had a few other queer professor's wives to lean on for support when the rigors of academia temporarily made me feel like a single mother again. When Alex was gone, I concentrated on doing fun outings with Geo and my work for Artemis. Jack and I were currently putting the final touches on our pride season outreach on the clinic side and finalizing the board members on the foundation side. Additionally, I was helping narrow down the candidates for Alex's summer and fall interns as well as her search for a second MD for the practice. I stayed busy and it helped but I still missed feeling the deep connection that we shared.

Alex barely kissed me as I came home from her run and she rushed out the door in an impeccably tailored Gucci pantsuit with a tumbler of cold brew in one hand and a stack of manila folders in the other. I showered and then relaxed in bed until Geo woke up and we got ready to go to our usual Tuesday morning playgroup in Washington Square Park. The weather was warm and Geo was both energetic and well behaved so we roamed the fragrant, colorful stands that were selling the last of the spring harvest and a few early maturing summer goodies. I quizzed him on colors and produce while encouraging him to use his senses and comparison words when he found an especially interesting array of products. I posted a few especially cute pictures on my Instagram while we walked along the path towards the skyscrapers of Lower Manhattan. I was admiring the white and purple bouquets at a flower stand while Geo told me how bees made honey but my mind was elsewhere. As I lifted a particularly beautiful bouquet to my nose, I knew that today was one of those days I could really use my girlfriend bringing me flowers when she came home from work. I was shaken out of my fantasy when my phone dinged and I saw a text from Alex.

**My Love: **_How's your day so far?_

**Princess Pipes: **_I was just thinking of you!_

**My Love: **_All good, right?_

**Princess Pipes: **_I don't know what it is…Just been feeling lonely…saw some flowers and thought of how much I would love to come home to you naked and holding a bouquet of flowers._

**My Love: **_Kinky, babe. Are you busy this afternoon, snookums?_

**Princess Pipes: **_Not really, love muffin. I'm just out with Geo but Lorna's at the house working on her beauty stuff so I could drop him off. We aren't far. I thought you had clinic all afternoon, baby?_

**My Love: **_Nobody is coming in, the weather is too nice, I guess. I convinced the medical director that my services weren't required. And I was right…it seems the only depressed mother in Manhattan today is my girlfriend. So now I have an even better excuse to play hooky and take my girl on a date. I was thinking we could meet for lunch and maybe go to the beach. I'll pick you up at the house in about an hour and a half_

**Princess Pipes: **_Sounds good…we'll head home now. See you soon, baby. I love you_

**My Love: **_I love you too. _

After bribing Geo with a soft pretzel from a street vendor, we headed home where Lorna still had her video lighting set up.

"Hi, Piper. Uh, sorry, it's such a mess. I was about to clean it up, I just expected you to be gone for longer."

"It's okay, just keep Geo away from your makeup unless you feel like washing walls today."

"Not particularly."

"Can you watch him this afternoon? Alex is playing hooky so we're going on a date."

"Of course. I'm almost done with my video for tomorrow anyway and I'm almost caught up on my reviews and blogs."

"Thank you so, so much!"

"I can put him down for his nap, so you can get ready if you want."

"That would be so great! You're the best, Lorna."

"I love you guys. Even Nicky is starting to grow on me."

"Yeah, she tends to grow on people like a fungus."

"I don't think that. She's kinda sweet."

"Yeah, cause she kinda wants to get into your pants despite knowing you are straight."

"Well, I think she's a very wise woman with a good heart and a unique take on the world. I like talking to her."

"She'll talk you right into her bedroom if you aren't careful."

"Then so be it. If I were to be intimate with a woman than it would only be with her."

"It's your life, just don't let it get in the way of either of your jobs because Alex and I need you guys doing the things we pay you to do," I commanded as I began to walk upstairs with my phone in my hand.

"You don't have to worry, you rescued me from Queen Bitch then got me what I needed to start a DIY beauty site and for that, I am eternally grateful," Lorna hollered as she helped Geo to reach the light-up frog that was currently the most important thing in the universe to him from a canvas tote full of equally obnoxious toys. I was holding two dresses against my body in front of the mirror when Alex sent me a text with no explanation, _Wear something comfortable, preferably jeans…NO DRESSES_. So now I was back at square one. Then I remembered I had bought a really nice pair of super skinny jeans at a boutique in SoHo a couple of weeks ago. I paired them with a loose white top with large yellow flowers and matching brown leather jacket and boots. I swiped some bright red lipstick across my mouth and made my eye makeup smokier and more dramatic then tied my hair up in a messy bun and headed downstairs. Geo was busy playing with Lorna in the living room so I decided to just escape the house without them knowing.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw a black motorcycle that shimmered navy blue when the sun hit it right and what looked like a tall skinny guy in a white helmet and full black leather expertly riding it down the block. As the figure approached and then stopped right in front of where I stood, I wondered who would ride a motorcycle in Gramercy Park. I prepared for some pushy lost asshole who would flirt with me even though I had a ring on my finger. What I did see was better than my wildest dreams, I watched as the figure threw down a leg and steadied the bike than took their helmet off.

It took a moment to register that the cascading waves of long raven hair belonged to my sexy girlfriend. Even as she unzipped her jacket and revealed her black silk covered breasts in a thin white shirt, I still didn't believe it was her.

"Hey, good lookin', wanna keep my bitch seat warm?"

She was cocky but everything about her right now from the smirk on her face to the black boot-clad foot expertly balancing the expensive custom-built Ducati was turning me on so much I could barely breathe. I was on the verge of an explosion and I needed her lips on mine to survive. But I also couldn't let her think that line was okay.

"That ever work for you, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause?"

"Usually I don't have to say anything. The chicks typically just jump my bike like hungry zombies."

"Well, I'm not them."

"Bet your panties say differently."

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, can't, my crazy girlfriend gets jealous if I so much as touch myself."

"Remind me again why I stay with your cocky ass?"

"The answer you seek lies within."

"Okay, Yoda."

"Oh, I wasn't being Yoda. I was merely stating that I have the perfect cock. And it's totally replaceable at your whim because I'm a wealthy lesbian with her priorities in order," Alex teased as she tugged on my jacket until our bodies nearly touched. She reached out her hand and pulled my face into hers before kissing me with lingering passion.

"I'm not sure if my standards have been perpetually lowered after seven months with you but that may be the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

"So, babe does that mean you are going to climb aboard my mighty steed? I got you a helmet," she held out a plum-colored motorcycle helmet towards me and waved it in the air.

"Ask me properly."

"Hello, fine young princess, wouldest thou like to goeth for a ride on my best Stallion around the kingdom on this lovely first fine spring day after the frost?"

"You're a dork. A loveable asshole and a drop-dead gorgeous geek but you're all mine and I love you like crazy," I replied through raucous laughter, "So how do I get on this thing?"

"It's just like getting on a horse," when I didn't move but my face turned beet red Alex shook her head and rolled her eyes, "What, there weren't stables at daddy's country club?"

"There were but I was too busy playing real sports."

"That sounds like a missed opportunity to me. You in tight riding pants and leather boots with a riding crop inevitably kissing the girl you've been crushing on all summer before she leaves for boarding school."

"Yes, and then she can break my queer heart when she tells me she likes me, just not that way and then I spend months holding back my tears every time my parents ask why I don't hang out with the Johnson girl anymore and exclaim that we were such good friends and really shouldn't let some teenage drama ruin a lifelong friendship."

"Ah, yes the title of that story is 'How Dr. Alex Vause Paid for Her Custom-Built Fast Wheels.' Come hither."

Alex helped me get onto the motorcycle and then told me, "You have to hold on really tight, it's the only thing keeping you from falling off."

"When don't I hold you as tightly as possible?"

"Point taken. The stakes are higher on a bike."

"So, I should hold onto it like a mechanical bull?"

"What do you know about that?"

"A lot. Let's just say I have won free tequila for the night many times and even free drinks for life at a bar in Mexico for beating their record."

"Guess I used the wrong metaphor earlier."

"Yeah, you did, Al."

"I guess you have an idea about why girls ride motorcycles then. And this baby was custom-built by a lesbian so," Alex raised her eyebrow and shot me her commanding smirk as her voice trailed off.

"I have some recollection," I teased as I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and let a finger stray just underneath her leather pants.

"I'm starting to think we just opened a whole new can of kinky worms."

"Yes, baby it's only a matter of time until I'm bouncing on your cock with my back against the handlebars."

"Or rubbing my clit on some rural road while I drive until I pull over so you can give me a proper orgasm."

"God, we need a night without toddler supervision."

"I know. Somebody has a birthday coming up in, what, five weeks?"

"Yeah."

"I should introduce you to my beach house."

"Yeah, why haven't you done that yet?"

"It was winter."

"So what? If I had a beach house, I'd be there every weekend unless a hurricane was imminent."

"Babe, you do have a beach house. We can go October through March if you want. There's no heat but I can easily rectify that issue."

"Or we can just cuddle under thick blankets and find ways to keep warm."

"That too. You ready, babe?"

"Yeah. Are you comfortable? Am I holding on in the right spot?"

"Oh yes," she revved her motor and we took off towards the George Washington Bridge as the sun bathed us in its warmth and flickered on the water. We drove through Jersey along the Hudson River until we hit New York again and stopped at a funky café in Nyack Alex knew I'd love because it combined her love for kitschy diners and mine for seasonal local food. And she was right as always. We split a plate of nachos and some coconut shrimp with coffees. Alex got her usual big juicy BBQ bacon cheeseburger with avocado and I got the Duck au jus, not because it looked like the best thing on the menu but due to it being the most expensive item on the menu. I enjoyed reminding Alex that I wasn't a cheap date every chance I got but a twenty-dollar sandwich was nothing to Alex as long as I was happy. After lunch, Alex filled up the gas tank on the bike and we headed to the beach in Stamford, Connecticut as I held on tight and planted kisses on her leather-clad shoulder every time we stopped. I watched as businessmen escaping the office early checked us out on the bike with envy-filled gazes and smiles of admiration. I wasn't sure if they were admiring the hot girlfriend or the bike and, frankly, I didn't care. I was too busy enjoying the rumble of the engine and my girlfriend's ass against my drenched center as the spring breeze whipped across my hair and cheeks. Alex pulled into the lot for the beach and found a spot to park her bike then we got ice cream and took a walk hand in hand along the beach. We stopped frequently to make out or gaze at the evening tide coming in until we drove down the Long Island Sound to the Queens warehouse where rich Manhattanites kept their toys. Alex showed me her Harley and the classic Vespa she was restoring and then her two luxury cars.

"I can't wait to see how this baby drives," I exclaimed as she showed off the engine of her red Bugatti showing me her classic black Aston-Martin. She told me about the cool cars she used to have and her dream of having a James Bond car complete with doors that opened upwards but all I could think about was the black leather seats in her Bugatti.

"You like Momma's toys?"

"The words momma and toy are currently off-limits!"

"Does my precious girl need a release after her hot date?"

"Yes, like now."

"Which one do you want?"

"The red one."

"I figured you would choose that one with your tastes. Is that word allowed?"

"Depends on what you are tasting."

"You," she declared as she pulled off my jeans and the sopping silk rag that had once passed for underwear and pushed me onto the hood of the car. She put her jacket down and knelt on the floor then nestled her head between my legs and worked me to a quick yet powerful release as I struggled not to slide off and my screams echoed in the garage.

"Did you enjoy our date," Alex asked after we recovered from a second round where I fucked her while she faced the wall with us both on our knees. This encounter ended with me riding her lap while we touched each other until we came together with our fingers deep inside each other.

"It's the best date I've ever had. You should play hooky and surprise me with your motorcycle more often."

"Next time I'll have to pack appropriately for the occasion."

"Mmmm…that had better be a promise, Alex."

"I promise if you promise."

"You earn it and I'll gladly ride your dick until you make me stop. You know cowgirl is my favorite game."

"And junkyard dog is your second."

"Hey at least mine isn't 'hey baby can I put my head between your thighs?'"

Alex raised her eyebrow, the one she always raised when she was especially annoyed, and shot me an icy glare, "You complaining?"

"No."

"Uh-huh…That's what I thought. Let's go home before I change my mind about not punishing you for your earlier comment."

"You started it."

"Are we really having this fight right now? Let's go home while we can still have a good night with our son."

"Good idea, baby. I don't want to end our date with a fight."

"Me neither," Alex sighed as I helped her up and she kissed me softly. After we had both put our pants back on, she took my hand and led me to her Escalade.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: So, I'm stuck at a fork in the road, I can either do another Provincetown chapter that would be all smut and gay bars or go directly to their first-anniversary trip and them getting engaged. Do you guys want a chapter of P-town hijinks or to get back to the plot sooner? I'll let you decide.**

"Momma, Momma! Get door," Geo asked Alex jumped up and down excitedly as he tugged my girlfriend's arm. I emerged from the office where I was finishing some last-minute work for Artemis when I heard the knock on the door and was greeted by this sweet scene of mother-son time.

"Only if it's Uncle Cal."

"Pomise will wask."

"You better."

I heard him ask who it was and my brother answer 'Uncie' as Geo stood on his tiptoes and turned the doorknob.

"Well, there's one of my favorite sisters. Where's Piper?"

"Probably spying from the stairs like always when I'm caught in the act of being cute."

"You cute," he asked as he looked her up and down from commanding green eyes, pursed red lips, down her curvy, muscular body, "I doubt it."

"It's a new side of my personality that I've become rather attached to since Piper and Geo came into my life. It's rare and I don't show it very often but it's my purest self. Those two have this insane ability to distill me down to my most crucial elements. And I love them for it."

"I'm glad. I kinda like having you as a sister and I love these two being happy even more," he declared as he lifted Geo onto his back and played horsey until he flung my laughing toddler onto the couch next to his other mother, "Are you sure it's okay that I take him camping?"

"Yes. He needs you in his life and I don't want him to be a city kid who doesn't know what the stars look like or how it feels to wake up outside on a warm, still morning. I want everything for him I wish I'd had as a kid. All the experiences I wanted but knew I could never ask for. Plus, it's Father's Day weekend and you are his main male role model."

"And you want to whisk my sister away for a sordid belated birthday getaway to the Cape on your Harley. Which you had better show me before you take my sister for a ride."

"That too. Yeah cause you need to check it for safety, yeah right, sure."

"What my sister is more of an alpha than I am, as my friends like to tease me every time I learn something new about how you present yourself."

"Yeah and I'm more of an alpha than anyone Piper's been with. And before you mention Sweaters, the true alpha is the one who raises the boy, not the one who sticks it in the female and then runs like a little boy when he has one. He did the easy part. Alphas step up to defend their pack no matter what, how or when."

"You have a point. I just don't know which I find more surprising, that a woman like you plays shooting games, doesn't just watch MMA but does it, has fast toys and plays poker but also loves cooking and makeup or that my sister went for someone so masculine. She was always attracted to the feminine no matter what its form was."

"Gender is complicated. I love being female and find power in the feminine mystique but I'm also a badass b-i-t-c-h," she added as she threw her hands over our son's ears as if he hadn't already picked up a few vocabulary words earlier than I would have liked, including that one or as he said it 'bik.'

"I guess so. I still don't know if I get all this gender stuff. Would it be weird if I took a women's studies course in the fall at Dartmouth?"

"I don't think so as long as you don't try to dominate the room. It's like when I took ethnic studies courses and did research in Asia and the Middle East, you are there to learn from them not colonialize and add to their negative experiences as a disadvantaged minority."

"What if they accuse me of being one of the bad ones?"

"You don't argue but disprove them through your actions, that's all a woman will believe anyway. Women don't care what you say, they care what you do."

I took that as my cue to demand a kiss and sauntered from the stairs to the living room. Alex smiled as I stopped in front of her with her green eyes shimmering, "I have something I want you to do."

"I'll bet you do."

"I'll take Geo upstairs and make sure he's packed right for camping."

"Thanks, Cal," we said in unison as he lifted Geo onto his hip and Alex pulled me into her lap and twisted her fingers through the fringe on my light blue denim shorts. She scraped her nails underneath the exposed pockets as my lip began to tremble and I threw my back into her bosom as I craned my neck towards her mouth.

"Looks delicious, mind if I take a bite? I could use a little sustenance before we get on the bike and the vampiress is going to be in the sun a lot this week so I need all I can get."

"Then pick a spot," I taunted breathily as Alex began nibbling along her neck until she found an especially warm, fleshy spot and I felt her hand reach underneath my white flowing polka dot top. She scraped her nails along my tight abdomen until it became even tighter, "Touch me. Make me bleed. I want everybody to know I'm claimed when we go out in the gayest town in America." Alex unbuttoned the top two buttons on my shorts and pushed her fingers underneath my light pink lacy thong. She didn't let anything get in her way as she journeyed to the source of my arousal. My body stiffened as she built me to my climax. Every time she pushed a little deeper, she nibbled with more ferocity until I came hard around her fingers thrusting hard inside me. She was enjoying the sweet spoils of her efforts when Cal came back downstairs with Geo in his arms. She tried to both get the last few drops from her fingers and not be caught by the two guys intruding on their lovely scene.

"Guess I know what all the commotion down here was."

"Shut up, Cal. You snuck a hot girl through the wrong window once and I didn't tell."

"No, but you did make out with her."

"I was a queer teenager and a hot, horny girl literally fell onto my lap, what did you expect me to do?"

"I thought Danny would be my rival for chicks but no, it was you."

"Well, now you can have them all."

"Thanks, you two probably want to get going before the traffic gets bad."

"Yeah, we do. I left some money in an envelope but if you need more let me know. Don't let anybody into my house who doesn't live here other than Nicky or my mom. And don't even try to get into my office or our room."

"But that's where the porn is."

"If you restrain yourself for a week maybe I'll let you take a goody bag home. And don't call his night underwear diapers unless you want to clean up pee-stained sheets that I will make you replace."

"Can I teach him how to pee on trees?"

"As long as there aren't any pedos around. Learning to pee standing up wouldn't be a terrible skill for him to acquire and its one of those things neither of us have any knowledge of how to teach."

"Yeah and I know guys locker room behavior is worse than girls and girls are pretty bad."

"One of these days you'll tell me what actually goes on in there."

"Good luck, buddy. She won't even indulge my fantasies. She'll give me yes or no answers about behaviors once in a while if I bribe her well enough and the moon's in the right phase."

Fifteen minutes later Alex kicked the bike into gear and we rode to Stamford where we made a quick pit stop before riding another couple of hours to Providence where we stopped for a relaxing lunch at a fancy waterfront seafood restaurant where my girlfriend thought it was cute to eat oysters as seductively as possible. Sometimes I wondered how she got away with being so sexual in public then I remembered that she lived by a different set of rules, that fifty million dollars bought anything you wanted, especially if you treated people with less than nicely. After lunch, we stopped into some of the shops as we headed to Cambridge to buy some new toys.

"What do you want, babe?"

"I don't know. I want something different but at this point, we've tried everything."

"Believe me, babe, we've barely scratched the surface."

Alex ran her hand along a five-inch long smooth black dildo and she had that devilish grin and icy eyes that meant she had an idea full of dark lust.

"What am I going to be doing tonight," I groaned and drug my feet over to where she was running her hand along the smooth shaft.

"Have you ever done anal?"

"Uhm, is that really a question? Are you going senile already? We've done anal."

"No like a dick in the ass anal."

"I had plenty of guys try to stick it in the wrong hole and I would leave them with blue balls and lose their number. It was too degrading and overpowering."

"Despite what Lorna thinks about our BDSM play I would never degrade you. You're my pet in the bedroom and my future wife and birth giver of my children, I treasure you and would never actually hurt you. And I'm sorta an expert at sticking dicks in asses and making it pleasurable for all involved. You don't have to if you don't want to. We could always pick up a new sex game to play. Maybe cards this time, I'm bored with dice."

"Me too. You'll be gentle and it'll be sexy?"

"When is it not," she commanded.

"Point taken."

Alex grabbed some beads nearby picked out a different lube than usual and a few high-quality condoms.

"Why are you getting those? We never use those."

"Trust me, its safer and feels better."

"Have you received it?"

"A girl's gotta make a buck sometimes. And everyone told me it made you a better giver. In order to truly put your all into it, you have to experience both sides. And they were right, it made me a better dom. And at least it wasn't my other hole. I was one of those actresses who never allowed anyone to penetrate that on camera. That and kissing were for lovers only. And once I had some fame, I only allowed women to touch my clit, I felt so violated when guys touched me there and even worse when it felt good. It felt so wrong and dysphoric. I'm all gay all the time and every part of me knows that but biological drives don't care about psychology or the soul."

"How are you not completely fucked up?"

"Because I've probably spent a million dollars if not more on therapy and retreats, I went backpacking in Nepal and Africa. I found a spiritual center and a power in all my body, mind and soul can endure. I've climbed six of the Seven Summits, still haven't convinced myself to go to Antarctica. If you had met me six months earlier, you wouldn't want me as a lover and any longer than that you wouldn't want me to be anything to you."

"You wouldn't have liked me much either if you'd met me even a couple of months before you did."

"We found each other at the perfect time. Not perfectly healed but not completely falling apart either. I was going to surprise you with this later but at the end of July I'm taking to Turk's and Caicos for the one-year anniversary of when you came into my life and we started talking. We probably won't celebrate it every year but the first one is a big deal. My mom is going to come stay with Geo, it's only for four days. Just us, a villa, room service, and white sand beaches."

"Sounds amazing. You are the sweetest."

"Shut your mouth!"

"But you are. You are so sappy."

"Yeah, I'll remind you of that when I'm pounding your ass latter. Makin' that booty pop and them tiny titties jiggle. Maybe I'll give you the double stunner. The only thing better than a dick in the ass is two fingers in your pussy and one on your clit. It's even better if you get your hair pulled. I've made many a woman nearly have a seizure from that one but I doubt I'll have that problem with you. Cause you are perfect," she teased as she twirled her fingers in my hair and enunciated every letter of the last sentence with a raised eyebrow and steely glare before pulling me into a passionate kiss, "I just want to stop at my favorite S&M clothing store and pick up something for when we go out tomorrow."

"Can I get something, too?"

"Most definitely. You still considering letting me fit you for a collar?"

"I think I'm ready for that. I want everyone to know everything I am to you. But I'm only wearing it to parties and never in the bedroom."

"Deal."

A little over three hours later we stopped in front of a large wood-shingled house just past the main drag of Commercial Street that had its own path from the sandy backyard to the ocean feet away through a patch of thick greenish-brown brush. I noticed an above ground hot tub and outdoor fireplace with rust orange and black patio furniture and a black canvas and light brown wicker couch. The backyard was full of vibrant green trees and shrubs. Unlike other houses surrounding it, her property was more about seclusion and relaxation, a respite from the chaos just over three blocks away. Everything about the five-bedroom, five and a half bath fortress was Alex Vause. The interior was decorated in the same homey yet modern style as her penthouse. The walls were decorated with paintings of women from the twenties drinking while wearing pearls a fancy dresses, in a few of them they were embracing other women, others merely celebrated the curves and curls of women during the Golden Age. I was particularly enchanted by a red-lipped woman with curly raven hair and a long cigarette nestled between her fingers.

"How did I guess you'd go for that one. Seeing your face right now makes me wish I had never quit smoking."

"The picture is hot and all but watching the love of my life die a slow painful death is the least hot thing I can imagine. I'll keep that one as a fantasy."

"I'll start working on a bedtime story now."

"Do you have any of the books we like to read to each other?"

"When have you known me to leave the house without two books, my eyeliner, lipstick, wallet, keys and phone?"

"Never."

"I turned one of the two downstairs bedrooms into a library. It has a futon for my Airbnb renters use but I never use it. I usually just curl up outside by the fireplace. That's the only thing missing from my penthouse. A couple of fireplaces but I didn't have time for the maintenance of an older primary residence. This place is over a hundred years old but I can hire handypeople to come in and fix things when I'm not here."

"Just another example of your expectation that everything and everyone will just fall in line and work as it should?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I understand it and see its benefits. It just needs a really good counterbalance."

"Here I'll give you a grand tour."

"Will there be a happy ending?"

"It'll be downright blissful."

She led me by the hand through the first-floor kitchen, sunroom, dining room, guest suite, library, media room complete with a bar and tables for pool and poker, the powder room and extra full bath before heading upstairs and showing me two good sized bedrooms with white wooden bunk beds, the larger of the two had a queen bed and small four drawer dresser with an antique Tiffany lamp on top behind a Soji screen, "For my mom and Nicky," she told me. She showed me two bathrooms, one with shower only and the other had a small shower as well as a black clawfoot tub, added by Diane's request again. Then she unlocked the door to her large master suite. She had a sitting area that she had turned into a small office. She gave me a tour of a closet that rivaled anything Christian Grey might have had (I thought she had a pleasure chest at her penthouse but this was a full-on pleasure chamber mixed with a dominatrix dungeon), a second closet that was mostly shoes and extra towels and then a wardrobe where she kept her more causal, everyday beach wear. I saw her huge custom proportion King size four-poster bed, a creation I had a new understanding of now that Alex Vause had introduced me to their true purpose with a variety of different forms of restraints and spreaders. There was something so primal about the way she made love to me when I writhed underneath her defenselessly. Alex had already undone decades worth of conditioning that wanting to be dominated was the worst desire you could have. She had shown me how it was actually more empowering because it meant I could focus solely on my own selfish pleasure and physical responses without worrying about meeting my lover's needs. As I pressed my hand into the fluffy cloud-like goose down Egyptian cotton comforter, I just wanted to lay there and let her do whatever she wanted to me until the sun came up. But she pulled me away and into the bathroom with two sinks and a long counter, "Now I know why I put that there and soon so will you."

"I have a couple fantasies for you to choose from."

"And it's your birthday so you are the queen for the next twenty-four hours. I can't say no."

"Let's just abolish the word no entirely on this trip, unless it involves infidelity."

"Deal."

She showed me the large shower and then the custom-built Jacuzzi tub that I could tell was designed to fit a six-foot-tall woman and a couple of smaller female friends.

"Maybe when we come back from dinner, we can take a bath together."

"I'm in more of a raw and dirty mood but we have a week here, I'm sure I'll be sitting on the ledge getting my pussy eaten at some point."

"Well then I have a glass slipper for you."

"My charming princess and evil queen all rolled into one."

"I love you. Beer and lobster rolls? It's sorta my traditional first dinner when I come here."

"It sounds good, babe. And knowing you it's probably from some beachside shanty instead of being an overpriced overly dressed Hipster discovery."

"You get everything about me, Piper Chapman."


	38. Chapter 38

I returned home from my beach run to Alex was wearing tight denim Bermuda shorts and a black tank top with a plunging neckline and red bra taunting me as I took off my armband with my phone off my shoulder and walked across the room.

"See something you like?"

"Too much."

"You're not so bad yourself, even all sweaty. Even if it's not my preferred way of seeing you all sweaty, seeing you make yourself sweaty makes me jealous of your running shoes. You will never love them more than me and I still don't understand why that's what you choose to do on vacation but to each their own. Who are you trying to look hot for anyway? I don't want you skinnier, I think you could use to gain about twenty to thirty pounds."

"Vause, you are such a pig."

"Ah yes, a pig who can't wait to eat your pussy. I'm terrible."

"Yeah but you're hot, rich and let me eat yours for as long as I want so I guess I'll keep you. Well, that and I want to have your babies, even if you are a pig about the whole thing."

"Judging from where those eyes are hanging out that would be now."

"That would be always."

"At least you're a quick study."

"Asshole."

"If I keep it up will you stick your finger in mine? Teach me a lesson?"

"Oh, I'll stick more than a finger in your ass."

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, but I would," I teased as I pulled Alex close and ran my finger down the string of her red thong, "And I'll tell everyone that Dr. Alex Vause likes wearing lace thongs or nothing at all. Except for when she puts on Momma and me boxer briefs and watches cartoons with her son on Saturday mornings."

"And it'll be the last time you see me in those things if you do," she kissed me roughly and when she released my lips she looked at me with a smirk, "You want to go out tonight? I could see if Gary and Ty are still in town. They usually stay from Memorial Day to just before New York City Pride. They know how to party. If you think you can hang."

"Can I eat you out first?"

"Uh, yeah."

With that, I pushed her down on her bed ass up and ripped her shorts off, "Well look at this," I snapped the red string of her thong hard and it made a loud noise against her wet pussy as she squirmed, "You like that? You want me to do it harder?"

I didn't wait for her to answer before doing it harder and louder than running my finger along the string.

"God, you are so wet. I'm going to eat your pussy without taking this hot number off."

"You really are pretty confident in your skills, aren't you?"

"I'll have you screaming in fifteen minutes with my finger in your ass and tongue deep inside you hitting your g-spot hard."

"Well get on with it, little girl."

Minutes later I had her topless, screaming and grabbing fistfuls of the comforter as her cum flooded my throat and I pushed a second finger inside her tight little hole as my other hand rubbed her clit. When the waves subsided, I kissed up her spine and began massaging her back as she moaned loudly.

"That feel good babe?"

"I don't know which I like more, you rubbing my pussy or my back."

"I don't know which I like doing more. I enjoy pleasuring you in all ways."

"Make us some martinis. Pre-game. Shower. I'll text my friends around town, see who wants to throw a barely out queer girl her first gay birthday party."

"How's that different from a normal birthday party?"

"You'll find out. Wait, I never threw you a coming-out party, probably cause I've never stuck around long enough for them to come out. If they ever do. Tonight, you my love get to play debutante again. We're way overdue for the debauchery that's gonna happen tonight. Tonight is gonna be legendary."

"Does it hurt sometimes? Being a bisexual woman's dirty little secret?"

"Of course."

"Should I hate myself for whatever pain I caused the lesbians I made out with in college?"

"No. It was part of your coming out process. It's not the same."

"You mean that?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to be emotional. I want to put on a tight leather dress, fuck-me red pumps, matching lips and take my girl out partying. It's the last year of your twenties. It's a big deal."

"Yeah this time next year I'll be thirty with a forty-year-old wife."

"You're lucky you are sitting on my ass right now," Alex yelled as she tried to swat at my leg, "And in two you'll either have a baby in your belly or arms."

"And you are lucky I'm about to make you one hell of a martini."

"I love you."

Two hours later Alex was clad in a corset with a leather dress and red heels and I was in a light pink floral tank top with a short white skirt and brown heels. I walked into the living room where Alex was sipping on a beer.

"Fuck, babe. I can't wait to ravish you later."

"Then pace yourself with these," I said sternly as I stole a sip of her beer.

"Drunk sex is fun."

"No, it's not. You ready to go or do you want to finish that beer?"

"Not if it means I won't get to drink you up later."

"Intelligence wins out again, Vause."

"I'm a very rational person who loves sex. I'm gonna go so deep tonight, babe."

"You are gonna make me wait for it, aren't you?"

"It'll be worth it. I'm gonna make you cum so hard. Your mouth will be dry as the Sahara but your pussy wetter than ever. And I'm gonna drink up every last drop and thrust so hard you're gonna be numb tomorrow."

"That corset go any tighter?"

"Look who came out to play," she teased as she pulled at the strings and tightened it as much as it would go and pulled her tits up, "tonight I'm your fantasy. Whatever you want to do you can do but when we get home I get to do whatever I want."

"Fuck me hard and make me clean up the mess?"

"You know me so well. Suck my dick then eat my pussy and then throw the thing to the floor and cuddle. And people wonder why I go for the bi ones. Dykes lack a certain versatility I crave."

"And we're both into versatility," I pulled her close and started to kiss her when three guys, two in full drag walked into the apartment.

"Well, look at the lesbians in their natural habitat."

"Fuck you, Jason."

"Never thought I'd live to see the day when Vause would become a monogamous creature. Alex Vause just another boring married dyke with a spawn too, I've heard."

"Yeah I'm just another dyke with a wife raising a cis straight blonde rich boy who will inherit the earth. Hate me later, Brandon."

"Brenden."

"Yeah, I know bitch. I could say a lot about your Grindr and magic beans that make you think you can go back to fucking indiscriminately again like the eighties didn't happen but I don't. So what if we want to get married and raise babies, maybe we can do a better job raising the next generation. The breeders have fucked this world up enough, it's time to give the queers a chance to show them how marriage and child-rearing should be done."

"C'mon now you two."

"Yeah you know Rogelio can't take it when mommy and daddy fight. Reminds him too much of home. Vause, we do need to talk about that skinny thing in your arms. I know you were not about to let that child out like that. You making this poor girl survive on a diet of pussy and booze?"

"This girl eats, it doesn't stick to her. I let her dress herself."

"Yeah, she looks like a two-year-old who dressed herself."

"She likes that look! I'm not a huge fan of it but believe me, it's better than it was."

"It ain't working and you two do not look like you belong together. You still have that top here?"

She looked me up and down with a mischievous grin, "I think I might. You have any new shoes in a size ten?"

"I have these lace-up thigh-high boots. Now we just need a skirt."

"I might have gotten her a little something to match this dress."

"Are you passing lingerie off as a dress again, Vause," Brenden interrupted.

"You're just jealous that I'm pushing forty and can still get away with it and you are just another balding shadow of an aging fairy. Too old for the new twinks to notice your existence but too young and not rich enough to be a daddy."

"Knock it off. Focus on this adorable baby queer. She has serious potential. Brenden go get those new boots and my makeup from my apartment and change your attitude or stay home. This is Piper's party, don't ruin it by fighting with her girlfriend all night."

"Partner," I corrected.

"Well aren't you a feisty one? I know what I'm gonna do."

A little over an hour later we were finally heading out with me now in a red sequined loose, flowy lowcut tank top, tight black leather skirt, and boots I could barely walk in with high glam makeup, red lips, and matching nails.

"I don't know if I can do this," I cried as I bent over in front of the mirror as I caught Alex checking out my ass. I spun around and put my arm around her waist, "Or maybe I can."

"C'mon my baby gazelle. I got you. Geez, a dyke and a bunch of queens have to teach you everything. But at least you clean up good, you are a fitness nut and you're a dynamo in the sack."

We got to the club and Alex instantly ordered a round of shots for the group.

"Daddy Warbucks is on tonight," her friends hollered as she laid down her no-limit credit card to start a tab.

"Yes, and it's my special girl's last birthday of her twenties and the start of her first year and pride season as an out queer woman, so drink up."

After we finished the round Alex led me to the dance floor where we were spinning and grinding and fingerbanging on the dance floor until we couldn't breathe due to a combination of dry mouths and vigorously expended energy. The older woman caught up with her friends and ordered a round of mai tais and then another while we shared stories about friendship, coming out and crazy nights from our pasts. I tried to ignore how Alex's eye wandered more with every sip of alcohol while also not ignoring the attention I was getting from men, women and all things in between. It felt amazing to be in a space full of limitless choices. I could finally get whatever I wanted without fear of being caught and it felt pretty damn good. It didn't take long before I got caught up in the excitement and lost track of Alex. One moment her hand was rubbing between my legs while her eyes wandered about and the next, I felt hardness against my center and realized I was dancing with a very turned on bisexual man about my age with no idea how I'd gotten from our table to the dancefloor. He was sweaty and well hung with perfect muscles and running his hands along my thighs through my skirt. I knew I had to stop it and find Alex before I did something I'd regret, even if it did feel good.

"I can't."

"What you remember you are half-dyke like all the queer girls do? Thanks for reminding me why I only fuck straight girls. The bi ones are all lesbians with unfulfilled desires for the one thing their cock can do. None of them want men, they want the thrill that only a real cock can give."

"It's been fun and if I'd met you a year ago this might go somewhere but I have a partner. We live together, we're raising a kid together. So, I can't and it has nothing to do with my sexual preferences. I don't even know what mine is, just that I love my partner," I stomped outside only to find Alex making out with a scantily clad redhead who looked to be around twenty-four and didn't have a single blemish on her midriff showing through her skimpy black and magenta silk bralette and cutoff shorts. She was all skin and bone but Alex seemed into it. I watched as their hands plunged into each other's shorts, that was the last straw. I had stopped short of true infidelity but here she was fucking another girl out in the open. I came out here to cool off but now I was hotter than before I came outside.

"Who's your new friend, baby?"

"Tell me who yours is and I'll tell you who mine is. If you can make friends with a man no less I can do what I want too."

"I don't know his name, I think it's Steven. But I didn't really ask."

"Well, this is Wendi with an i."

"Didn't think slutty basic bitches were your type."

"Who are you," Wendi snapped.

"Piper. The mother of her child. You remember our little boy, don't you?"

"That doesn't make you special."

"And you are? You know how many basic bitches have come before you?"

"Maybe I'm not but making a crotch monster doesn't make you any different from me."

"But being her future wife does," Piper fired back as she showed the girl her ring.

"You asshole, you never told me you had a fiancé! I am not a homewrecker!"

"You didn't ask. Which only means one thing, you are not a homewrecker yet. But keep trying, maybe one day you'll achieve your destiny," Alex hollered as Wendi stomped back into the bar.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry. I was drunk and saw you dancing all over a hot, hard-bodied guy and I felt hurt, anger and jealousy and then this chick who was exactly what I would have gone for a year ago started making eyes at me. We danced awhile and then she went outside for a cigarette and I followed. I took a couple drags from her cigarette and next thing I knew her lips were on me and it cooled all the ugliness inside me for a minute. I couldn't take on a built guy and you didn't look like you wanted me to so I let you go."

"Sometimes you are such an idiot when it comes to the things that truly matter, Alex!"

"I'm new to this whole committed relationship thing. I've never had a true partner but I love you. Just sometimes I'm worried I'll never be enough."

Piper looked down at Alex's tits, swollen and hard still from whatever Wendi had done to them, with a sultry, mischievous smile. She still felt insane jealousy but at least somebody else had done the hard part of convincing her to want a girl to fuck her. She knew they both had done the wrong thing because neither one of them knew how to set clear boundaries and say no, especially when they were under the influence.

"I'm sorry too. I blacked out and did some things I wouldn't have done if I had full awareness of my surroundings. We were both dancing with whoever so I thought it was okay until I realized he was about five minutes from shoving me against a wall, whipping his dick out and sticking it in. I was angry and scared and I couldn't find you. You promised to protect me but where were you when I was in a blackout? I know I shouldn't lead people on and the only person I want potentially putting a baby in me is you. I think it's time we go home. We're starting to forget who we are and make fools of ourselves."

"She meant nothing."

"So did he. What do you say we admit we both fucked up and go home and makeup," I ran my finger along the curve of her prominent breasts then pulled her to me and reminded her who was the better kisser as I found that spot on her side that if I dug in just right would make her moan louder than touching her clit ever would, "And only I know where that spot is, Dr. Vause's Achilles heel."

"So we're forgiven?"

"I forgive you but my pussy is still mad."

"Tell her to eat a dick."

"She hates to be told what to do, she prefers to be shown."

I locked Alex out of the bathroom and took a warm bath to relax the few remaining bits of anxiety and overall grossness. I heard her go into the closet and climb onto the bed so I knew I was in for a treat from a very apologetic Alex Vause. And I was definitely right. I walked out and beheld the sight of Alex's freshly moisturized alabaster skin clad only in a black bra, asked as I laid on the bed naked and watching as she pulled on a leather harness.

"Did you have fun except for the incident?"

"Yeah. God that one boy in the cage, I wanted to keep him as a pet."

"Sorry babe, pets can't have pets. You just want him cause he's hard in all the right places. But he doesn't know how to make you purr like I do. Maybe his cock has the potential to do the one thing mine can't but I can give you a vaginal orgasm with mine. Ask yourself which you'd rather have?"

"I'm a greedy bisexual, so both. But if I must choose, I'll take you on your back in handcuffs as I make you watch me pleasure myself, riding your cock until I have a full-body orgasm. Who needs a boy toy when you can pleasure a formidable cougar of a woman?"

"I'm about a decade too young to be a cougar."

"You want oral?"

"You know I do."

"Then play along with my fantasy for a few more minutes and then I'm all yours. Let you watch me become so overwhelmed with desire for your cock that I do all the work. All you have to do is lay there and watch my titties bounce and the shaft slide in and out of my pussy. Feel my walls sucking you in as you lie there with a dick that'll never get soft no matter how long I decide to pleasure myself for. Then because I know your dick needs selfish pleasure too, I'll suck you off on my knees then eat you out as you sit in an armchair with your legs open and I kneel on the floor. I'll pleasure you like I would if you were a well-hung, hard-bodied dude and I'll play the fit young lover I just realized there's only one thing better than alimony when you have a fifty million dollar dick in your pussy in its prime and the heart attached to it wrapped around your little finger. And I'll even deep throat you while I play with your balls. Remind you what I have is better than the real thing."

"Throw in a little doggy style and let me stick my fingers anywhere I want and we have a deal."

"Down, you dirty dyke whore. Now, while I'm still the perfect mix of wet and tight," I snapped as I sat up in bed and watched her do as she was told. I mounted her and started rubbing her tit with one hand as I ran two fingers down my abdomen to my clit as I rode her, making sure to hit all the right spots. Once I felt her getting wet, I turned my attention to my tits until with two more sharp hip gyrations I came all over her cock as I moaned loudly and angled myself so it hit all the right spots. I put my hand down and gathered up my cum and held it to her nose as she tried to lick it but I pulled my hand away.

"You want this, my sex kitten?"

"Yes."

"Beg. And I want to hear at least three pleases."

"Please baby, fill my mouth with your sweet nectar. Do you taste as delectable and juicy as you look, honey? I need you, baby. Fuck my face. Please. Please. Pleeezzzeeee."

"That's better. Ass or tits? Which view do you want?"

"Tits. I plan on getting one hell of a view of your ass when I plunge my dick into your wet pussy until it feels like I might spread my seed deep inside you and spring forth fruit into your womb. I can't wait to Watch it clench and get all tight as you try to pull more of me inside you. Grab onto your hips and pull you into me."

"Fuck, you make me so wet. I love when you talk dirty."

"Hey, I'm not the one who called my future wife a dyke whore, you dirty little freak."

"Well, if the shoe fits."

"Point taken, BiSlut. You like when I give it to you rough, you little feminist with your fancy Smith degree. I know what you're going to say, 'but, Al, it's a dick attached to a dyke it's different when you thrust your girl-cock into my tight, wet pussy and ram me on my hands and knees until I'm raw,' news flash babe it's not."

"I'm a proper blonde lady."

"Yes, you're so proper when you are screaming my name on your knees as you take a dick most dykes use for show. Harder. Faster. But I get it, everybody has needs. And I need to fuck your pussy real good. A legendary night deserves some legendary sex."

For the next three hours, I was hers. She worked me into positions I had never heard of before and I knew Alex only had because she could read the untranslated Kama Sutra. I lost track of how many orgasms I had and wasn't sure at what point I freed her hands or how I ended up in her library eating her pussy as she sat in her armchair as she took complete control of my head between her legs, slowly unraveling her orgasm like we had all night. I was getting sleepy but at the same time, I didn't want it to end before she was fully satisfied.

"You know babe if you're running out of steam you can say something. My pussy will be there in the morning and you know when it comes to you, I can be wet in seconds. Do I still need to remind you nearly a year later that you never have to do anything you don't genuinely want to do?"

"But you give me so much, I just want to fully satisfy you for once," I mumbled as I pulled away from her pussy and rested my head on her thigh as her fingers went to my blonde curls.

"Babe, you are more than satisfactory. I like being around you. You are my companion, my partner. And it is a plus that you enjoy having sex with me as much as I do with you. You don't have to be me or have my stamina. I just want to shower, brush my teeth and pull you against my naked body and hold you all night."

"I know how that one plays out."

"Is waking up with gentle rubbing on your swollen clit and my leg rubbing your cunt so terrible?"

"Not one bit. But I don't want to shower cause then it'll be over."

"But showering makes you so much more attractive."

"So, you're saying you wouldn't love me if I were stinky?"

"I would love you no matter what, stinky butt. I just wouldn't go down on you or let your nasty mouth anywhere near my prized pussy. I gotta take care of that shit. She took care of me when I had nothing else and now, I have to take care of her."

"Yes, now that she's living in the pussy retirement home. You may be a better mother than I'll ever be but you know I only put the best quality things in my mouth now that I'm older and have a kid to think about."

"Yes, and I'll take a woman who I want to have my babies over some floozy who wants to be able to say she hooked up with the famous Dr. Alex Vause. Baby, please go shower before you force me into an unhappy asexual life."

"That would be the biggest contradiction ever."

"If you don't get in the shower in thirty seconds I'm going to go in there and masturbate loudly until you come in."

"If I don't?"

"I'll start moaning random female names until you can't take it anymore and you come in all hot with bubbling rage and green with envy and then you end up against the wall taking my fist in your tight cunt as you scream your pretty little blonde head off then I make you give me head when I'm done with your naughty pussy."

"And I thought my mother perfected psychological warfare."

"I have four psychology degrees plus a residency at the top schools in the field. Plus, I worked as a dominatrix. Oh, and I'm a big lez. I learned a thing or two about effective punishment and mindfucking. I know what makes women tick better than anybody else."

"Okay, Dr. Vause but when I have your daughter in my belly I'm coming for your crown."

"Deal, stinky butt," she teased as she got up and went searching for the softest towels in her linen closet.

"You know I'm starting to like that one."

"Yeah and after sleeping next to you every night for six months it's so true, you're a proper lady who saves her farts for when she's sleeping and the biggest blanket hog I've ever met but your scrunchy little face and long baby-like lashes are just so cute so I let you stink up my bed and steal the covers all you want."

"I've never felt more loved."

"I'm just gettin' started, baby," she teased as she made a thrusting motion with her index and middle fingers, "There's so much more I want to show you. Even after nearly a year, we've only scratched the surface of all I want to give you."

"Now, there's the Alex that I love and want to make a home for. The one I want to be a good little doctor's wife for and devote my life to her practice and children."

"She's gonna be the only Alex from now on."

"She'd better be."

"You have to be equally devoted or this won't work."

"I will," I answered as I followed Alex into the bathroom, while she swung her hips and wiggled her sexy, perfect big butt and both sets of lips became unbearably moist, "My perfectly stuffed Build-a-Bear."

"Cute, babe, very cute you adorable stinker."


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Here's a long awaited chapter...and to the reader who called this story a dream, that's sorta the inspiration for this fun little tale...it's the home of all those moments from the show where I wondered what if this had been true or gone another way. So this is the stuff of my smutty, fluffy Vauseman dreams and I'm so glad it seems others share my Vauseman fantasies! :)**

A month later I heard the door open and my three favorite people come running upstairs, Geo had recently insisted on climbing up the stairs on his own and as much as it gave me a heart-attack Alex convinced me that I had to let him. She spent hours holding me and telling me that he was older now and I had to let him explore his world independently if he was going to be a well-adjusted adult. If it had been anybody but Alex telling me those things I would have punched them in the face but I trusted Alex. She had the expertise, knew our son better than I did a lot of the time and didn't have the mommy guilt that I did. Alex made choices based solely on logic and reason, well unless it involved me and then every choice was the direction her heart tugged her in the hardest.

"Hey baby, how was swimming," I asked as I looked up from the dresser I shared with Alex.

"I no baby! I big boy!"

"What am I going to do with this," I asked as I looked at the two Vause women standing side by side.

"Be glad that wasn't his first sentence like my child."

"I somehow doubt Alex ever asserted she was a big boy."

"C'mon babe you know that's not true," Alex teased as she came over and took me into her arms and kissed me gently.

"Sensitive ears in the room," Diane scolded in a tone I knew well. The more I got to know the older Vause, the more I figured out how Alex became the powerful, commanding, statuesque beauty I was madly in love with.

"And yet only one set gets it. Geo, you are not a monkey! Stop jumping on my bed! We have to get this kid into gymnastics before he kills himself."

"I know he wants to but what if people think things?"

"You don't think the male fighters I step into the ring with have never taken a gymnastics class? Athletes in the most hyper-masculine sports' skills are improved by gymnastics. Besides, have you seen a guy doing the rings? Tell me that isn't the epitome of masculine strength. He loves the tumbling passes they do in mixed martial arts class and the teacher tells me he's one of the best students at them."

"If he follows the girl gymnasts into cheerleading instead of football?"

"Then we go to his school's football games and proudly point out that's our boy hoisting up a hot girl."

"Alex! Don't even suggest looking at underage girls! People already think gay people are into, you know. Don't feed into people's negative stereotypes about what you are. You are an amazing mother, let people see that. I'm finally proud of my boneheaded daughter again. I doubted I'd ever be proud of my baby again but I've never been prouder than when I watched you in the pool just being a normal mother at mommy and me swim class. You were finally doing the things I imagined when I decided for sure that I wanted to parent you. I wanted you to have a better life and become a mother and I knew you could do those things."

"I didn't mean it like that but I see how it's wrong. How am I going to do this? When he's twenty and his friends are too, how do I not be, well, me?"

"You imagine they are your daughter. Does he know about that?"

"Not yet. We decided it was too abstract. We'll tell him when it's more obvious," she answered as she started his current favorite game on her phone.

"Don't wait too long. It's an even bigger deal than just getting a s-i-b-l-i-n-g," Diane looked at Alex and I looking at each other with perplexed and scared expressions, "You'll figure it out. I sometimes wish I'd had another baby but I couldn't get past what you two are going through and I knew it wouldn't be a good fit. But Geo isn't you. He needs someone to play with at all times. You were always a sensitive loner who had the makings of being exceptional from the time I noticed you were ahead of the other kids at just three months old. You were meant to be an only child. And now I have another daughter and a grandchild. I get to tell everyone how I have two daughters and I love it. If you want I'll ask around and see if any of my single mom friends have any advice."

"Thanks, mom. You think you could take him to toddler open gym while we're gone?"

"Of course. And I'm looking forward to going to drag queen storytime. They have a few in Northampton now, I've been wanting to go to one but it's weird to go to one without a kid."

"Yeah, sometimes toddler supervision has its benefits. Like when you want to go to the library or paint all day long. He loves the children's art museum right now. I'm a member of the Manhattan children's museum and the zoo. Can you believe that?"

"No. I always thought I got lucky enough that you got out of the cycle the generation after yours is now starting in on. I have a great-grandnephew now or so I hear anyway. Are grandparents included in those memberships?"

"Yes, our kid has a nanny, of course, we have a caregiver allowed and I bought the memberships that donate one to a family who can't afford it."

"I wish they'd had that when you were a kid. Maybe you woulda had somewhere other than the library to go."

"I did pretty well for myself. Well, except for bribing my toddler with a screen right now so I can have an adult conversation."

"Just don't do it in public and family time means everybody's phone goes away."

"See, babe, you never stop smothering your children," Diane shot her daughter what I now called the Vause glare that made me fear the day I birthed a daughter already, "Er, mothering your children."

"That's better, Ally baby."

"Mother," Alex shot her an icy glare.

"Get that look off your face before I knock it off!"

"Okay, you two. I'm trying to finish packing and you two aren't helping," I yelled at the two Vause women before mother and daughter could come to blows. The two instantly turned their heads and gave me the patented Vause eyebrow raise and pursed lips.

"Well, you are right. This one is more Vause than any girl born into this family. Let's see what are the most important things?"

"Passports," I answered.

"Sunscreen," Alex corrected.

"What is the thing you are most worried about forgetting?"

"I'm worried about not having enough clothes. Do I bring more shorts or skirts?"

"Skirts."

"It's July in the Caribbean, so I second that but for a more practical reason than whatever my flesh and blood daughter is thinking."

"I know what she's thinking and I'm thinking the same thing."

"You need to bring more skirts?"

"No you do," I teased pulling her into a steamy kiss.

"Okay, I think this is my cue to take Geo to get ice cream and maybe a puppy. C'mon buddy, I think your mommies need a little grown-up time."

"Bu'e dust dot home!"

"I know."

"Mommies go get lotsa big people time on makayshin."

"I know that too. Mommies are nervous. And Gigi can do whatever she wants because I'm not scared of your Momma. Your Mommy scares me a little now though," she swatted Geo's leg until he put down the phone and wrapped his hands around her neck, "There you go. I don't know I think Momma's wrong, you are a monkey. What noise do the monkeys make," she asked as she bounced him in their arms and I heard her quizzing him on animal noises as they headed out the door.

"Let's get this done so we can have some time together," Alex looked over the two suitcases I had packed and the extra shared bag plus our carryons. She took a few things out and we decided on an iPad and laptop free vacation. We had interns and assistants and a Nicky for a reason. It was time to give them a test and detach from everything in New York that wasn't our son for once.

"Nine days with no work, what are we going to do?"

"I can think of a few things to hold your attention."

"I'm looking at two of them," I teased as I massaged her breasts through her ribbed tank top and tore off her denim shorts as I pushed her onto the bed and mounted her.

"God, I love when you get like this."

"And love being able to bring out your inner bottom," Piper stripped her own shorts off while Alex clasped her hands over her head and stretched out her body for Piper. Piper dug her nails into the brunette's flesh as she ground her clit against Alex's center until her lip began to tremble, "I love reducing you to a wet, sobbing mess. And it's so easy too."

"I love when you are consumed with desire for me that you just take me. Speaking of taking things, this shirt is getting in the way of you playing with my tits."

"Aw, poor baby," Piper grasped the hem of Alex's shirt until she could tell the brunette was excited at the prospect of getting some tit play and she leaned over and put her finger to Alex's mouth, "I'm going to tell you what you tell me, who…is…in…charge," Piper leaned down and kissed Alex while shoving her pubic bone into Alex's swollen clit, "here?"

"You. If I say please?"

"You are lucky I love when you beg like a little bitch," Piper pulled her shirt off and those were the last noises that weren't guttural moans from the older woman and breathy gasps as the younger one came up for air periodically for the next half hour.

"You two decent?"

"Give us a minute, mom!"

"Geo decided he wanted to make sushi tonight and I thought it would be fun so I got the stuff to make some. I'll start some rice and if you aren't down here before the rice starts cooking, I'm dragging your irresponsible asses out of bed!"

A few minutes later I poked Alex between her ribs, "Babe, I don't think she's bluffing."

"I know she isn't. I just love this part. It used to make me feel so uncomfortable but with you it's different."

"Well, I miss our kid and want to spend some time with him and Diane, we don't get to see her very much and I miss her."

"You aren't supposed to like your mother-in-law."

"Uhm, when your mother-in-law is the coolest woman alive, you are."

"Yeah and your mom isn't worthy of eating the shit out my asshole."

"Opposites attract I guess," I answered as I heard footsteps on the stairs. We barely had time to pull on charcoal-colored tank tops, so little time that Alex ended up in one of mine, and our favorite grey pinstripe linen shorts.

"Aw, look at you two being all matchy-matchy. You are giving me a cavity in addition to the migraine you've already given me. Sometimes I don't know how my brain doesn't blow a gasket."

"Because I need my mommy," Alex responded in a childlike, playful tone. Diane came over and embraced her like I would Geo when he was being especially needy, "Aw, I never thought I'd say this about a girl you brought into my orbit but that Piper girl is a good influence on you."

"You don't know Piper then."

"Yeah, sorry it's Geo who has been the good influence. Piper has just smudged some of your rough edges enough to make you palatable."

"Now that I won't dispute."

Nearly twenty-four hours later, Alex and I arrived in a large two-story villa with an infinity pool. The bottom floor was living space plus a small powder room and upstairs were two master suites on either side of a small hallway.

"Which one do you want, Alex," I teased and was rewarded with an eye roll that turned into an icy glare.

"Whichever one you're sleeping in, you fool."

"But I'm not like that," I could barely hold back from breaking down into laughter and keep my eyes off Alex's tits barely held into a scoop neck black silk top and the bit of midriff exposed above her white linen capris. Alex played along with a poker face of her own as she pulled me into her lips and pushed me onto the bed. She roughly pulled my clothes off and then planted kisses everywhere but my nipples and pussy. I was so aroused it was becoming painful.

"I'm totally like that."

"Thanks for confirming my not so professional opinion about your sexual identity, you are as gay as they come."

"Al, don't say come."

"Or you might," she gave me one perfectly aimed swipe to my clit with her tongue and I exploded. As my chest heaved and I tried to regain my equilibrium she finished her taunting, "cum?"

"You suck." I should have known better than to prod the beast on top of me as she sucked my lips into her mouth, then left her mark on my collarbone and finally sucked one breast roughly while she massaged the other, toying with my hard nipple between her fingers. I lost track of how many times I came with her on top of me, eventually she decided she felt like eating something other than me and we threw on soft white robes and went down to the kitchen where we made dinner and then sat on the patio feeling the still warm summer night air stick to our skin. We spent much of the next five days fucking in our villa, going to clubs and wandering the streets, even stopping to make a cheesy t-shirt at one touristy bar & grill. We spent our mornings on the sand until the heat of the day arrived, Alex reading on a lounger with her towel on top underneath one of the resort's blue umbrellas while I jumped around in the waves, feeling a freedom I hadn't felt since Fourth of July weekend when I was ten and first noticed that I felt things for the teenage girls in their bikinis and they were noticing me too. A beautiful, tall brunette tween girl took my hand at one point and demanded we dance in the surf. I knew my life would never be the same when her mom saw us dancing closer to each other than the other little girls. We dove underneath and had a contest to see who could hold her breath for longer and we both lost when our mothers were there waiting for us to surface. I saw her the next morning on the sand but she wouldn't even look at me. Both of our childhoods ended prematurely that day all because we had a childhood crush on each other. But now, nearly two decades later I was on the beach watching my girlfriend smile at me in her loose black linen dress, matching straw hat with a black band and designer blue lens aviator sunglasses.

Our second to last afternoon on the island Alex finally gave in to my requests to go scuba diving and I saw a breathtakingly gorgeous blue and yellow fish that I told her I wanted tattooed on my neck when we got back to New York because it reminded me of change and beauty, that we needed to appreciate the small things. Then we went back to the villa and Alex told me to take a shower and get ready for dinner. I emerged from the shower to a chocolate brown dress and strappy olive-green sandals lying on the bed. I put them on and went to find Alex, who was dressed in a red wrap dress with a plunging neckline and red heels, reading on the couch like she was wearing her favorite two-day-old sweats.

"You look beautiful. Where are we going to dinner? Something fancy?"

"Just you wait. This will be the most unforgettable meal you've ever had," Alex replied as she set down her book and pulled me into her arms, "Let's go get some makeup on that already gorgeous face of yours."

A little over an hour later we were led to a private outdoor dining area that was ritzy even by Alex's standards with votives and bold colored flowers. The table already had an open bottle of champagne and a waiter standing by the table poured two glasses as we were led to it. He pulled the chairs out for us and a few minutes later the first of five courses arrived. We spent four lingering hours having dinner before Alex smiled and took my hand.

"Piper, you give my life meaning and purpose. You came into my life like a hurricane after a tornado. It could have been complete chaos but somehow it wasn't. I knew the first morning you woke up in my arms that I wanted to have that moment every morning for the rest of my life. We had huge challenges. I had to win over your kid, who is now our beloved son. I love that boy even if he's the reason I had to pretty much wrap my house in bubble wrap. You came out, we won our families over and even though, we aren't there yet we are working towards the day when our families can become one. I got tenure and you quit your job to share my dreams and help my passion become my greatest success. I am more powerful when I am with you. I want to continue sharing our lives and dreams, forever. Piper Elizabeth Chapman, will you do the honor of allowing me to be your wife? I promise to strive to be the partner you deserve and give you everything I have."

"Is Geo okay with this?"

"He knows I want to marry Mommy and he didn't quite understand it but he wants me to be his Momma forever. So I don't think he'll mind. The difference is still a little abstract for him. And Cal was, of course, cool with it and your dad gave me his blessing."

"Well, you did your part. So yes."

Alex finally pulled out the ring, a large yellow diamond encircled by pink diamonds on a platinum band, I gasped and squealed as the wait staff came out to watch the climactic moment where she slid the ring on my finger. They brought out a round of their finest cognac after taking a few pictures of the two of us. We toasted our proposal and kissed before taking a barefoot midnight walk on the beach hand in hand.


	40. Chapter 40

"I can't believe we're sending him off to school," I cried as Alex finished fixing his hair before we took the chalkboard picture that I had wanted to take a year ago but didn't have time, "Thanks for indulging my Instagram mom cuteness."

"I will always be onboard with your adorableness, stinky butt."

"My smooshy," I replied as I pulled her into a kiss.

"Mooommmsss!"

"We haven't even taken the kid to school yet and he's already embarrassed by us."

"I teing Nana!"

"Not if I never let you touch our phones again!"

"I still tewl Nana!"

"Don't you like that Mommy is in love?"

"Od tours bu'ot whim'u use sappy names."

"Someday you will find someone you let call you things like smooshy."

"It yucky!"

"But Mommy has a stinky butt, what am I supposed to call her, Piper?"

"That's her name though."

"Well, you don't call her Piper."

"Yeah cause it would be weird. She's my mom."

"Hey," I butted in knowing full well that I was fighting Alex's battles for her.

"Momma my other mom and you my mom. I love my mommies. Now, camey twawke the picture aready? I don't wanna be late my first day!"

"The kid has a point. These moms don't know you are a bad mom. Wouldn't want to ruin both of your clean slates all at one. They just think you are the lesbian mom which is still not totally true but hey it's at least an improvement."

"Yeah but when they find out we left him with Nana and left the country for a week I'll revert back to my old status."

"It's a 30K a year preschool, these parents have pretty much all traveled to other continents without their children, some probably before their kid could hold their head up independently."

"Okay," I told her as I took one last look at him with his sign that said his name, his age, his grade level and that he wanted to be an engineer or a doctor when he grew up. We had taken him to Aleida's salon for his first haircut two days earlier so his dark blonde curls were looking better than ever as he smiled with his big goofy smile in a denim shirt, little red bow tie and khakis with a recently purchased larger replacement for his beloved red Converses. The first week of school was free dress as long as they wore khaki or dark bottoms and no denim, except for Fridays. Kids that behaved for the week and got a good deed ticket could earn a pass to wear jeans or solid colored leggings on Fridays. His school was the kind of progressive that didn't put gender modifiers on their dress code nor did it forbid certain hairstyles as long as they were neat and clean. Of course, these parents could afford top dollar lawyers and their kids the ones who needed this kind of inclusion the least but it was progress and a good home for my half Jewish kid being raised by two moms, one a Humanist WASP and the other an Irish-English physician who trusted the scientific method over all else. His new school was vaguely Quaker and focused on the Reggio Emilia approach but also borrowed from other methods to be a play-based STEAM school, it was parent-led rather than by some board of directors who had never raised a preschooler. Alex took a picture of Geo and me and then I took one of her with him. On our way out, Geo gave the doorman his usual fist bump.

"Ed, wiw you twawke a famie piture?"

"Of course," I handed him our phone while we waited for the elevator to the garage. Twenty minutes later we were at his preschool in Chelsea with a mix of families Upper West Side to Greenwich Village at the new parent welcome reception while the kids became acclimated to their new classes when two women walked up to us. I had gotten the impression they were together but even after nearly a year of raising a kid in a queer relationship I still didn't know how to approach other queer moms. I was used to the way these women had treated me like an imposter when Geo was a baby and had tried to make inroads in the lesbian mom community. Whether or not I was satisfied with telling myself being with a woman named Alex made things different changed with the weather.

"Hi, I'm Angela and this is Tiffany."

"I'm Piper and this is my fiancé Alex."

"Well another couple of dykes living in sin," Angela teased.

"Well, they were having a free toddler with every purchase sale the day I went to the girlfriend store."

"Is that hard?"

"Loving our kid is the easiest thing I've ever done. And luckily, I'm a psychiatrist so I understand development theory and when I don't then I have the director of the child lab at NYU on speed dial. We've had our share of growing pains but I'm glad I have them."

"So do you guys have a son or a daughter? What grade?"

"A son," Alex answered, "Geo. He's in year one Pre-K but the teachers want to put him in year two already. We think he's too young, he's only three and a half so he's already young for PK1. But I finished elementary school at ten so I understand that sometimes it's better to move them up."

"Were you some kind of kid genius?"

"Yeah. I was in college at fourteen and med school at nineteen."

"Where did you go to school?"

"Harvard and UCSF, trained at NYU and now tenured at the med school. So I'm NYU forever."

"I'm an NYU drama professor," Tiffany exclaimed.

"Small world."

"There's a lot of NYU professors at this school since it's so close to the University."

"Well, that's good to know."

"What about you Piper? Where did you go to school? Are you a doctor as well?"

"I'm flattered that you think I could be a doctor. I barely passed the few science courses I was required to take. I find medicine fascinating but until a year ago everything I knew about medicine I learned from watching Grey's Anatomy with a bottle of red wine while my son was asleep. I loved it and then I started seeing signs that Callie was bi and it became my show."

"So you're bisexual?"

"Yeah. Our kid is from my last relationship but his father isn't in the picture, he wasn't ready to be a dad. Geo has his moms and can't remember ever having a dad so he's fine for now and doesn't miss it."

"He has the parents he's supposed to. So what's your professional background?"

"I went to Smith and got a degree in Communications with a minor in Marketing. I started a beauty company with my former best friend but we sold it at the beginning of the year so now I am the Marketing and Community Outreach Director at Alex's practice and I run her foundation. We have our first gala coming up in two weeks, I'm so nervous. How about you guys? Tell me about your kid."

"We are PK2 parents this year, our little girl Pia is growing up so fast. She's already written and illustrated three children's books, she's four. I can't believe it. We were one and done but we're getting ready to start trying for baby number two in January. We just placed our order with the bank. If it works then I'm planning on doing the stay at home mom thing. We're hoping for twins so I have an excuse other than I don't want my kids raised by a nanny and I want to write."

"That's good enough of a reason. My former executive assistant is our nanny but we're going to get a European au pair when we have the second. We plan to raise our kids to be multilingual. Alex speaks German and French fluently and we are looking into sending our son to an elementary school with Spanish classes. She started teaching him German from the time they met and he's picked it up fast, he has a natural aptitude for language. He's so creative. He wants to build things that make people feel better. He's such a caring, sensitive child and I will never let anyone beat that out of him."

"You shouldn't. Glad to meet another queer TTC mom in the Pre-K classes. Most are either in Preschool or Kinder. It's a weird age to have a second I guess. So, when are you trying or are you already? Which of you is carrying?"

"We haven't discussed it yet. Alex froze her eggs and I've done all my tests so the clinic has told us they're ready when we are. We just got engaged so it might be a while although after leaving him at the door of Pre-K I'm ready to get on that plane and fly to LA where her eggs are right now."

"You can always have a long engagement. If she's going to have to adopt your son anyway then you might as well try for baby two."

"My parents would kill me if I came home with another baby in my belly with no wedding."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-nine."

"Who pays your bills?"

"Alex."

"So it sounds like what they say doesn't matter. If you and Alex want a kid before you are married then have one. It takes a year and a half to plan a wedding right anyway. And it would be cool to have a pregnancy buddy who isn't a pain in the ass heterosexual sanctimommy."

"Well, women have gotten pregnant for worse reasons. Does that mean you guys like us?"

"Yeah. I think we have a lot in common. We run a lesbian mom group for moms on the parent board, our first meeting of the school year is Wednesday night. You should come. You don't have to join the board but it's for the moms who want to be actively involved in their community as lesbian moms living amongst the noncommittal white gay guys of Chelsea. Some of the moms are very well connected."

"We'll think about it."

Later that day, Alex decided to treat her staff to lunch for the four of us who had just sent our kids to school and the three students who had just begun their fall terms. Alex and I were hanging out in her office chatting and picking at chicken salads.

"Hey, boss there any sandwiches left?"

"They're for the mothers and students, not the employees who are overgrown children!"

"But leaving my new puppy this morning was sooo hard."

"How's that going? Coke, right?"

"Rootbeer. She's the cutest little thing. You were right when you told me how nice it was to have someone waiting at home and a parenting community. How did it go at the school," Nicky asked as she both helped herself to a pastrami sandwich and a seat on Alex's chair which she rolled across from where we were sitting on the couch.

"Sure, Nics, join us for lunch. I wasn't on a date or anything."

"You guys spend like 24/7 together, why do you need a date? And anyway, shouldn't you like go somewhere that isn't work if you're on a date?"

"I put a ring on it, I don't have to impress my woman anymore. Believe me, any time you get a meal without toddler supervision, it's a date. And if you don't think a couple with a young child needs to date than you are fired because you don't belong here as a marriage therapist."

"I just never get to see you guys. You two are always so busy doing something with Geo. And I like you guys a lot."

"You are welcome to come along to anything we do. Museums and zoos are fun. We're thinking about taking him apple picking this fall. And we have Dr. Woods now, you can always come to Pennsylvania during fall break. You are due some vacation time. Besides I don't know anyone more in touch with their inner child than you. Having a kid gets you in the door to do fun things that make you look like a pedo if you don't have a child."

"I don't think my boss can order me to both take vacation time and tell me what to do with it."

"I think your boss can tell you to do whatever she wants."

"Will you really give me the hookup with Elmo because I was raised by Sesame Street and if I'm gonna go then I better get to meet Elmo and Cookie Monster."

"What about Big Bird?"

"I work with her," Nicky teased and threw a potato chip at Alex, which she dodged before flinging a walnut at her best friend. "Maybe Piper will tell me how my unofficial son's first morning went."

"Your son?"

"Hey I'm main Jew in his life, that's it until we come up with a better title."

"My kid is doomed between the two of you. Maybe I should have kept raising him myself."

"C'mon, you know it takes a village."

"Yes, and every village has an idiot."

"Vause sure has ruined you. So kid, school before I lose interest in mommy talk."

"It went well. We mingled a little and met the nicest couple, Angela and Tiffany. Angela works as a brand executive at a major company but wants to quit and live the writer-mommy life and Tiffany is a professor at Tisch. They have a daughter who is almost two years older than our kid, she's in PK2."

"I knew your kid inherited Vause's intelligence somehow but I didn't think he was that ahead."

"That's why we're holding him back until after fall testing. He would be in class with five-year-olds at three. Raising a gifted child is challenging, luckily we have Diane."

"Yeah, she did a decent job, I guess," Nicky looked over at Alex and rolled her eyes, "Was he excited? Did he cry?"

"He was so excited from the second he woke up. He fussed a little but it helps that he met the teacher a week ago and got a tour of the Pre-K classrooms. He's in their mixed class, it's for kids who are either between levels or need extra attention before going to Kindergarten."

"So it's the special ed class?"

"Well, they don't call it that but most of the kids are at the extremes of the intellectual spectrum. It's more school-like than the other preschool classes so he has a desk. I'm not sure how he'll take to that. And the kids are expected to go potty independently. I hope he's ready maturity-wise."

"So this Angela and Tiffany?"

"Our first mom couple friends. Angela and I were talking about having baby number two."

"You guys aren't? What, did Vause forget to wrap it up the night you got engaged and you told her to fuck it and just cum in your vag anyway?"

"We knew pretty early on we wanted kids together. And we've been talking about it since we left Geo's school. Geo has had all the babyhood firsts he's ever going to have. We've been together for eleven months and we're ready."

"How would that work? I'm assuming your old ass womb barely serves a decorative function at this point, Vause."

"Would you like to tell her, Smooshy?"

"Well, now hiring a second doctor so you could take maternity leave makes sense."

"I'm not pregnant and I don't plan to be. I just want to be an involved parent. I don't have to carry a baby to take maternity leave."

"Then can I take leave to stay home with my puppy?"

"No. But if you bring me a vet's note you can take sick leave for your puppy. We're using my bun in her oven."

"Like the baby is yours but she does the hard part, like a surrogate who doesn't get paid?"

"Well, since we're a couple it's not surrogacy. I had to donate my embryos to her."

"Had, so these little demon spawns exist somewhere? Shouldn't you have sent out a warning before you unleashed those bastards on the universe?"

"Remember when I was going to those mystery appointments all the time a few years back, just before we started Artemis?"

"Around the time you had that cyst burst?"

"It wasn't a cyst. I had complications from egg retrieval. That was my third retrieval."

"So you froze them? Like sperm and egg or just eggs?"

"Yeah. Embryos, so the eggs that were fertilized and healthy I kept. I planned to hire a surrogate but then Piper came along and let her make her choice. If she hadn't wanted to carry, I would have hired a surrogate but she would carry them all. I'm not sure if that's lucky or not. Kids are expensive and I already have one saying he wants to be a doctor like Momma. It would be just my luck to have six more baby geniuses to put through med school."

"Hey, maybe you'll get a tv show instead of those religious nutcases. I can see it now the Vause family bus."

"I barely want our kid on social media. He's cute but he needs to be a kid. He's already had enough of his childhood taken from him. I grew up too fast and ended up doing some shit I wish I hadn't cause you don't think how taking your clothes off for money is going to follow you for life."

"When are you gonna try? I'm guessing you'll probably buy some posh gated estate in Westchester or Greenwich."

"We want to try soon. And we have been looking at mansions in Jersey, it's a better commute to lower Manhattan. My career is here and we plan to keep Geo in Manhattan private schools. I want to spend as much time as I can with my kids."

"It would be kind of cool to have a baby running around this place. I can see it now, the kid finding a dildo laying around and thinking it's a binkie."

"Oh that could happen at our house. Geo already thought one of our vibrators was a karaoke mic and we didn't know until he asked us where our karaoke app was. He also confused a sparkly purple double dildo for a sword after he found it under the bed. And he knows what lube is and a toddler appropriate version of what it does. I figure his future lovers will thank him for that one."

"You are so going to be those parents."

"I make no secret of being a sex doctor, they probably won't even waste their time calling."

"Yeah. God, I wish I had been born a kid in your house. Except for the part about coming out of your fiance's vagina."

"And sucking her tits?"

"That I wouldn't mind. Are you even going to breastfeed, I mean will it even have a benefit if the child isn't genetically yours?"

"I want to. It didn't work with Geo but I didn't have a support system that encouraged it and I had barely started my business. At least now I have one of the best hospitals in the world at my disposal and the time and supportive partner I lacked."

"So does that mean someday soon we'll be in a meeting and just whip out your tits?"

"Well, that's hardly how it would happen but I do plan on wearing our kid during my waking hours their first couple months and putting them in their own crib in their bed. And Alex is on board."

"Yes, and the boss' babies' needs come first here."

"Really is that in the employee manual?"

"Yeah, it's in the latest update."

"Really, cause I didn't see it."

"It was written in invisible ink on the welcome Piper Chapman to the practice email. Who knows maybe one of our daughters will take over the practice one day."

"And the day one of your daughters match in psychiatry is the day I retire because my goal is to never change my boss' diaper."

"You are really going to change diapers?"

"I'll work my way up to it. I figure if I'm going to be around mommies and if I get my way I know Lorna will only give up so much and I could never ask her to give up her dream of giving birth to a full-blooded Italian baby."

"You as a mother? That sounds like a horror movie."

"By then I'll have gotten some practice. And if all kids are as easy as Geo, I could do it."

"And Geo isn't even all that easy as kids go. Besides, Lorna is the most gentle and sweet girl I've ever met. Even after she isn't our nanny anymore, she'll still be our main sitter."

"How is the Lorna thing going?"

"We've been on a couple of friend dates but we haven't done anything. She's becoming more comfortable with touching and I think we're close to her letting me kiss her."

"Just be patient."

"it'll unfold in its time. I know if I had pressured Piper into doing more than she was comfortable we wouldn't be here talking about sending our son to school and having a second baby. But that stays in this office."

"I'll even act surprised."

"And don't tell anyone about our kid's genetic background. It's unimportant unless it's your DNA."

"I get it. Your kid is yours no matter its biology. I would never take that from you."

"You want to steal a treat from Geo's drawer," Alex asked as Nicky picked at the crumbs and fallen meat from her sandwich.

"But I thought that was only for good boys."

"Well, you did join the clean plate club and I know you love to raid the drawer."

"Okay but I'm stealing a yo-yo."

"Go for it."

After Nicky grabbed her treats and left I turned to Alex, "So I think we have a call to make."

Alex looked down at my abs and then pulled me close, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm ready. I can plan a wedding with a baby in my belly. But you had better go through with marrying me or I will make you wish you were dead."

"I wouldn't dream of not going through with it. I want you to have everything you deserve in this life. And I would never cause a child the pain my poor excuse for a sperm donor caused me and my mom. I'm an honorable woman."

"I know but I thought I found an honorable man and he was until his baby was in my belly. I just don't want history to repeat itself."

"Have I done anything like him? Anything at all? I started raising a kid purely because he was cute and now I do it because of love so imagine what I'll do when the kid has my eyes instead of some man who I'd love to meet in a dark alley on a cold night. I love you. And I couldn't imagine not cherishing every moment of watching my child grow inside you. I want to do more than just put a baby in you."

"Okay," I answered as I got up, locked the door and stripped off my clothes, "what do you say we practice on our own one last time?"

"I say," Alex raised her eyebrow, "yes."


	41. Chapter 41

"Piper, can I come up," Jack hollered up the stairs at Artemis where I was working on the couch in Alex's office while she was at the med school and Geo was at school.

"Yeah, sure, just don't tell the boss," I joked. I had my own office on the second floor next to Nicky's but it was shared with the small three-person staff that ran the Foundation so I preferred Alex's office to my cramped digs. I heard footsteps up the attic stairs and a dark-haired, clean-cut young man who looked like little more than a boy crossed the room and sat cross-legged on the floor. I thought to myself, oh to be that young again. Although he was a little under a decade younger than me it felt like there was a lifetime between us. Being around him and Nicky all the time made me realize how much faster I had grown up than other twentysomethings. I had more in common with women in their mid-thirties than I did a woman like Nicky who was only two years younger. I smiled at the boy in front of me as I counted the reasons I wouldn't trade being a young wife and mom for anything.

"So, what's up, Jack? Everything going okay with the winter fundraising letters and the Black and White Ball planning?"

"Yeah. I actually wanted to ask you something," he started as he anxiously wrung his hands.

"What is it? You want to take a ski trip with your GSA groupmates from school or something? You know unless it's like right before a major thing you can always take time off."

"It's just I know how you are with Geo. I know I'm twenty so I have no place to critique your parenting style but you both are more than a little overprotective of your son. My moms say its because he was all you had for so long and Alex is trying to make up for lost time and the demands Manhattan society puts on moms doesn't make things any easier."

"Get to your point, I really have to get this done."

"You know how I volunteer with COLAGE and worked for them before I came to work for you."

"Yeah."

"Well, a few of the high school seniors got together and decided to organize a Halloween party for the 3-5-year-olds as their graduation service-learning project. They are all interested in careers working with young children. I have been acting as their adult supervisor, which is still crazy to me."

"I had an embryo in my belly on my twenty-fifth birthday, unbeknownst to me, you wanna talk crazy?"

"I couldn't imagine becoming a parent in my twenties."

"Wrap it up every time, check expiration dates and make sure she's using something too and you won't be. Oh, and charting is utter bullshit, you've met my toddler, right? If it worked like it was supposed to as even an alternate method he wouldn't exist."

"I'll remember that and free condoms are a job perk so between work and the school LGBT center I really have no excuse. Back to my point, I was wondering if it would be okay if I took Geo. It's a kid only event, which normally we don't do for the preschoolers so it's a bit of an experiment. I am a trained camp counselor and have been since I was thirteen. I can give you references for families who I've babysat for and program directors for places I've worked if that would make you feel more comfortable."

"Diane has been telling me he's almost four and I need to let him have a little more independence, especially since Alex and I are going to start trying for baby number two in December. And I trust you and I know Alex does too. So okay but you have to pick him up here and we'll figure out the drop off later. I don't think Alex wants her employees to know her home address except for Nicky but that's more because she was her friend first."

"And if the house is too quiet without your son, you can always show up to my moms' best friends' queer Shabbat dinner. You met one of my moms, Tess. Their door is always open and their little group of friends all have queer spawn between 17-23. I grew up with their kids."

"And they aren't suddenly interested now that they found out my kid is half-Jewish ethnically?"

"They aren't going to judge you for choosing not to raise your kid Jewish. And you've told me how you just wish you could find your tribe but are constantly striking out."

"Ugh, don't remind me about parent board and the lesbian mommies who are worse than their straight counterparts that I encountered at his old school."

"Yeah and telling you that you couldn't go to their meetings because of how you conceived your child. It's nobody's business. I was hurt for you guys when I found out what happened. I called my moms crying. They were equally shocked that people like that were still running free in their community."

"I think it's worse now that the majority of these kids aren't conceived through loving heterosexual relationships that weren't a front of any sort. Biphobia is real. Luckily Alex keeps it out of her office. It's the quickest way to be fired or dropped as a client and permanently banned. Would she ever have been an ally if it weren't for me, probably not but all that matters now is that she is."

"Boss told me the bisexual flag story."

"Oh she did, did she? That story is so embarrassing."

"Believe me, everyone in the queer community has their really that's a thing moment. Like when one of my school friends told me about COLAGE and before that about books with kids like me."

_It was the second time I showed up at Alex's office. She had texted me to show up at her office after work because she had something to show me. I was exhausted but I was never one to pass up an opportunity to see Alex. So I left work early and walked from the subway station to Artemis where I saw that a flag with pink, purple and blue stripes in that order had joined the rainbow flag that hung on one side of her door. I didn't notice Alex on the other side of the glass watching my confused look._

_"Hey, pretty lady, you lost," Alex teased as I looked at her silkscreened name on the door and she opened it a small crack._

_"I was supposed to meet somebody here."_

_"What do you think this is, some trendy wine bar in the Village?"_

_"Funny. I know what this place is and what the sort of women that come here are. Actually, my girlfriend owns this place."_

_"Sounds like a badass chick. And judging from those legs she's some sort of lucky woman. Mmmm…I'd love to feel those legs wrapped around my waist."_

_"A girl can dream. And I freed up some time so…"_

_Alex stepped outside and pulled me into a warm embrace, "Damn, how I've missed your face."_

_"You saw my face like less than twelve hours ago."_

_"Skype isn't the same and if it is to you then we aren't on the same page in this relationship and we never will be. Cause if that's the case we're in different chapters entirely."_

_"I'm not gonna make you a fool, Al. I missed being in your arms. I think about you probably more than is healthy."_

_"I'm the psychologist, I'll be the judge of whether your obsession with your new lover is healthy or not."_

_"So, did you really have a surprise for me of were you just desperate to see me?"_

_"Ask your real question."_

_"Did you ask me here because you needed some pussy or because you actually had something to show me?"_

_"You were just looking at your surprise."_

_"What? Where?"_

_"The new flag. Isn't it so cool?"_

_"It's a flag, what's the deal?"_

_"You really know that little about bisexual cultural identity? Tell me you know who Ani DiFranco is."_

_My eyes took on the blue-grey stormy shade they did when I didn't want to admit my imperfections and I smiled while biting my lower lip like a child who was trying to be too adorable for their mother to punish them, "No. The most I've done is watch a couple episodes of the L-Word and Grey's Anatomy."_

_"I don't know if it's my place to educate you on those things."_

_"Well, they say you are what you eat."_

_Alex shook her head and tried to hold back her laughter as I added, "C'mon is the owner of a highly regarded sex therapy practice turning into a blushing fifth-grader over a shitty sexual double entendre?"_

_"God, you are too adorable for words. It's the bisexual flag. I bought one a couple of days ago and I've been talking to the NYC Gay Chamber of Commerce and LGBT Center about how to create a truly safe and welcoming space for all genders and sexualities. I never wanted my practice to be for gay women only, my other employees did but it's my name on this door, not theirs. I own the building and the license that enables us to open the doors. So it's time I created the space I wanted to make from the beginning. Even if it messes up my friendship with Nicky or I lose money or employees. This is ultimately my business and mine alone. And falling for you has given me the courage to say this is my vision and how I believe. This place is for any woman who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community or is in love with someone who does. I can't possibly fully understand where you come from but I want to at least create a space for dialogue. I can never know the struggles you've faced as a bisexual woman, especially a bisexual young single mom with all the stereotypes about bisexual women's sexual expression. I want you to be comfortable coming here whenever you want. I want you to help me."_

_"But I still need your help and as you said I know nothing about bisexual culture."_

_"We can learn together. I ordered some books and got a list of resources. Helping each other is the essence of true partnership. I want a relationship where two people come together and help each other become better versions of themselves."_

_"That's still overwhelming to me but I know I can get there. I like you a lot. And the flag is the sweetest, most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm so used to the barrage of questions I get when people find out I'm bi."_

_"I work at a top university, if I wanted a lab rat I know where to go and get one. You aren't a research subject and I would never treat you like one. I want to know you. Besides judging from your earlier response to my question you don't know enough about bisexuality to give me a viable answer to anything."_

_"But I do know how to go upstairs, take my panties off and sit on your desk with my legs open until you do something about my wet pussy."_

_"Pipes, pipe down!"_

_"Cute. Never say that again."_

_"Then remember that this is a place of business."_

_"But I thought you dealt with women's sexual issues and deviant fantasies here and I have a very major sexual issue that I need to talk about. I mean couldn't you get in trouble for sending away someone in crisis?"_

_"Yeah a client, which you are not."_

_"I mean if you aren't interested in discussing my sexual fantasies I could always head over to the bar and find someone who is."_

_"I thought we already established I'm not interested in hearing your sexual fantasies, I want to make them come true."_

_"If I promise never to say the phrase wet pussy on the doorstep of your business will you take me upstairs and prove reality beats fantasy every time?"_

_"Or anywhere on the premises other than my office. We have to keep things a little lowkey still," she told me as she pulled me inside and led me upstairs to her attic office._

"How long did keeping things lowkey at Artemis last? Cause I've been here since January and that was only a year ago."

"Not long, especially once I officially started working here and now that we're engaged and living in sin. Everybody figures we have sex regularly and they expect to see us kiss."

"I'd be more worried if I didn't, since my job hinges on yours."

"And mine hinges on Alex's desire to do more than kiss me. I know. Anything else?"

"Can I leave early to play soccer with my friends?"

"Sure, kid. And tell your moms to add two to the guestlist for their friend's thing. It would be good for us to meet some women who kept a kid alive to adulthood while maintaining a healthy queer relationship and community ties."

"They'll be so happy."

"Go prove you learned something from me about soccer. If your team doesn't win, that's the last time I let you leave early."

"How would you know?"

"Uhm, my fiancé is a shrink. She's well-versed on the tells. Now get out of here before I change my mind. What time Friday?"

"Would 4:30 work? Maybe I'll get him some pizza, that is, if that's okay with you."

"You are going to feed and entertain my kid? If you want a raise you don't have to try so hard."

"Your kid is adorable. You've done a good job with him. I know you've told me other than the two Vauses, Nicky and Lorna nobody ever says that but you have. He's smart and well-behaved with such an active imagination. Whatever you've been doing is right because he's one of the most well-adjusted toddlers I've ever met. This is my first job not working with kids. I have what amounts to a decade of experience so I know what I'm talking about."

"Thanks, Jack. Close the door on your way out," I told him as he got up from the floor without the least bit of struggle. As I listened to him leave the building I remembered why we hired him because he was the man we hoped Geo would become. I realized that the first step towards that was seeing what his mothers could teach us about how they raised their activist ally son and pansexual daughter to be proud, successful young adults.

"Why are we going to this thing again?"

"Because I'm so cute."

"You are a lot of things, that's for sure. Right now, cute is not one of them. I've had a busy week and we have a quiet kid-free house, the last thing I want to do is leave it. I'm exhausted."

"You're exhausted? Really? Are you on an IVF protocol while caring for a toddler and working full time? You don't know what tired is yet. It'll be fun."

"Yeah fun, kosher vegan lesbians. They are so good at throwing parties."

"It's not vegan, it's vegan-friendly. And a vegan diet isn't a bad thing. Hard to maintain if you're a distance runner so it didn't fit with my lifestyle but if it had I'd still be vegetarian."

"Instead you are but a lowly vagitiarian."

"Yes, and the only way that gets in the way of my runtime is when I'm too worn out from our evening cardio to get up."

"But if you weren't then you'd have nobody to watch Geo while you go running for three hours whenever you want."

"Good to know your willingness to care for your kid hinges on whether I put out. Why am I going to California in two weeks? I could enjoy my holiday season and all the free-flowing wine instead of having to make up reasons why I can't."

"Instead you get to eat all the cookies you want and nobody will be the wiser as your waistline expands. It'll just look like you're overindulging in a healthier vice."

"I don't know that gorging on sugar is any better than doing so on wine."

"I'm a doctor, I know things."

"Sure, babe. Instead of looking like an alcoholic I'll look bulimic when I binge and then the bastard makes me throw it up."

"And you know what I think about that. But I don't want to fight with you. Let's just go and have a nice time. You promise there's meat at this thing?"

"You know you won't die if you eat a meal without at least three ounces of dead animal, right?"

"I might, I might not and that's not a chance I wanna take."

"Sometimes you are more of a man than the men I've dated."

"But I look better in heels and red lipstick and my hard-on doesn't go away until you are ready for it to do so," Alex teased as she pressed her face so close to my own that a felt a chill as I waited for a kiss that never came.

"You evil woman," I looked at her and felt the burning sensation before the inevitable crash but this time I pulled away, "we'll finish this later. Provided I'm still in the mood," I added as Alex's commanding glare became one of a scared, wet, abandoned puppy on a winter night. I knew I could kill her and she knew it too. I had her right where I wanted to and pumped my fist just to twist the knife in a little more as we headed out of the apartment and drove to the modest Lower East Side apartment building where the dinner was being held. We parked on the street and knocked on a black door of an old three-story brick building.

"Hello, you must be Piper and Alex! Micah and Tess told us you guys were going to be joining us tonight! It's so great to meet you. Jack talks about you guys all the time," Sally, Jack's moms' best friend, exclaimed when she opened the door. She had chocolate brown curly hair and big dark almond-shaped eyes with a warm smile that instantly put me at ease.

"He's told us a lot about his moms and the village that raised him," I responded as I soothingly rubbed the web of skin joining Alex's thumb to her fingers in an attempt to soothe my fiance's nerves.

"Well, come upstairs and meet the village. He's such a great boy. We all thought he could have been a politician but he loves the nonprofit life and he could never leave the City. Have you met Sami yet," she asked, referring to Jack's twenty-four-year-old sister who lived outside Boulder in a small Rocky Mountain town.

"No. Jack talks about her a lot. Hopefully, she'll come to the Artemis holiday party if she's in town. Was it really that much of a scandal when she came out," I asked as we walked upstairs into the kitchen and living floor of their townhome.

"We had never heard of the term pansexual. A lot of us had strong opinions when she brought home a transgirl. Then her second year in college she met Bryn and we really didn't know what to do. Getting used to using they and them as a singular pronoun and special person was hard but I'm glad we opened our minds and if they ever choose to have children we will be there for them. So how do you identify?"

"I'm not sure what label fits. I know I'm attracted to a person's energy and feminine energy is especially attractive. My biggest complaint about Alex is that she's too masculine sometimes. It's insane to me that the first woman I have a serious relationship with is the most masculine person I've ever been with and I'm marrying her. She's so not my type."

"Yeah, I look at my wife and wonder how I could have married someone so unlike the person I imagined. But we have been together for thirty-two years, most of it happily. We've had our moments, of course, but we've made it through so much. Sandy is my everything, I couldn't imagine going through this life without her and I don't know how I made it twenty-five years without her."

"I feel that way about Piper. And then I remind myself that she would have been jailbait if I had met her much earlier."

"Most of us married our college sweethearts and looked down on the older dykes we saw pairing off with young femmes. That's what the older generation did and of course, nobody ever wants to do what their foremothers did. But that being said we hope that you will feel welcome in our village. If Sami taught our group anything it's that love is love and you don't get to choose. We have experienced rejection from family only to be rejected by the community we turned to seeking refuge. And ultimately faith tells us not to reject those who come to us seeking shelter if we want to be the chosen people," Sally led us to a woman who looked sixty years young, the kind of woman who wasn't once stunning but still was, "This is my Sandy. Baby, this is Piper and Alex. They are Jack's bosses."

"It's so nice to finally meet you guys. Can I pour you some wine? We also have nonalcoholic options. We aren't very formal about the rules, it's more an excuse to drink too much wine and feast on bread and other forms of carby goodness."

"I love wine and carbs. And I think the only thing I miss about dating a Jewish person is the food. Not that my ex's mother was any good at making it. This one has never been to a Jewish celebration but yet her best friend is Jewish," I responded.

"She's one of those who stopped practicing after her Bat Mitzvah," Alex volunteered, "And she was raised by nannies so she never really had a tie to her Jewishness. I don't want that for my kid. I don't want to erase his father, even if he did some awful things. The one thing that always made me respect my mother was that she never erased my father who is an even worse man. He's still a part of me and nothing can change that. He's the source of my Irish blood. My mom's side is working-class British stock with a bit of Scottish mixed in. Then I came along and ruined the bloodline by being an intellectual Irish lesbian. I brought so many undesirable genes into their family tree. They hated the Irish and they hate me more than they would have anyway because I'm more pure Irish than anything else. My mom raised me to be proud of the cultural identity I got from him, even if she didn't share it. She made sure to expose me to it and now she makes better corned beef than any Irish person I've ever met in my nearly forty years."

"Well, we'll have to have you guys come early next time and help us make Challah. As long as you can do that much the rest is forgivable. Well, except for putting Swiss cheese on a pastrami sandwich. It ruins everything it's about," Sandy asserted as she reached for two wine glasses and a bottle of kosher red wine.

"As long as you don't take my sauerkraut, I'm fine. I lived in Germany and traveled extensively in Eastern Europe, I could live on the stuff."

"How do you feel about pickled fish," Sandy asked Alex.

"One of my main research specialties is Scandinavian motherhood and family models versus the American and it's psychosocial effects on maternal satisfaction and health of the infant. So I've eaten a lot of pickled fish in my day and I'm a blast to take to Ikea."

"You understand Swedish," Sally and Sandy exclaimed in near perfect unison.

"I can read it and translate it into English, I'm not that great at speaking it. I have native-level fluency in German. I've always loved languages. I think if I hadn't gone into medicine I would have gone into linguistics."

"You must have some amazing stories," Sandy said with a tone of warm excitement as she handed us each a glass with a little more wine than typical.

"I do. I've seen some things and walked in the eerie footsteps of the darkest moments of modern history."

"I've been to Israel and had the opportunity to visit the camps but I've always been scared," Sally added.

"I was sixteen the first time I went to one of the camps. I was on a study trip to Hungary and they did a day trip. I was largely self-educated until college so I never learned about the Holocaust in school. I took a test at eleven and passed it and that was the end of my K-12 education. Nobody tells an eleven-year-old about the horrors of war and I'm glad nobody did. I already had a tentative enough grasp on anything resembling childhood innocence from birth. I didn't go to the Anne Frank house until my third time in Scandinavia. That was just too much for the longest time. I'm glad I went as hard as it was. I also have a lot of way happier stories. I loved Germany and still do. If I hadn't met Piper when I did, I'd be living there right now. I love strolling through the history and the riverbanks of central Europe. There's a strength and beauty to it all."

"I'm looking forward to getting to know you, Alex. Let me know if there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable in our home. That goes for you too, Piper."

"Thank you," I added as Sandy led us into the living room and introduced us to the other two couples and Jack's moms greeted us warmly. We spent the next three hours talking, eating and drinking wine. They shared their stories of the struggles of becoming parents at a time when lesbian couples creating children within their relationships was still rare and often frowned upon by both straight and gay people. As we sat around the dining room table I felt like a part of a family, like I had finally found my people for the first time. I felt more understood and less alone as a queer mother than ever before. I was finally around people who knew what it was like to have strong feminist and pacifist beliefs that clashed with what it meant to raise a son, especially in a culture that demanded certain things of its sons. They had been in my shoes and helped give me advice about how to let go and resist the urge to control your child's existence and develop a sense of self-motivation. I learned how to be happy to cheer from the sidelines that night and to let up on myself.

"So was it as horrible as you thought it would be," I asked Alex as she drove us home, we had decided to allow Geo to have a sleepover at Tess and Micah's apartment and meet at their favorite playground in the Village from when their kids were little in the morning, so we were looking forward to a night to ourselves. We knew it would probably be our last before we flew to California for the embryo transfer so we wanted to savor every second.

"No, it's the most fun I've had in a long time. And I loved a party where nobody was on their fucking electronics. It was nice. And the wine wasn't bad. And the food was amazing. I haven't eaten like that in a long time. It was a little weird when Roz and Barb talked about their twenty-eight year-old niece and I'm still not sure Barb likes me very much but Roz was awesome. Then Esther and Raine, they are so proud of their twin boys, applying to colleges."

"I can't even begin to imagine looking at colleges. I can't even figure out where to send my kid to kindergarten and still haven't found a school I love."

"We did like that one estate in Jersey. Unless you want to look at a few homes in Great Neck, they all said if they could buy a home today anywhere in the area with young kids then they would buy there."

"I thought you said you wanted to stay as close as possible to Lower Manhattan."

"I do but after talking to them I think I'd rather send our kids to an excellent public school that I pay taxes for than throwing away money to make him into some overprotected, overindulged preppy kid. I'm proof it's not how you start in life it's what you do with it. Let's go home and look at real estate porn."

"I miss the days we'd spend our evenings looking at actual porn. I'm starting to forget that we ever did. It's all been babies and work lately. Is the honeymoon period really over? Is this our life?"

"I'm still just as in love with you as I was a year ago, if not more. How about I tell you bedtime stories about what our lives will be in said house. I promise you it'll be way better than any porn we could watch. And not just because your favorite retired porn star will be the main protagonist."

"Who said you were my favorite porn star?"

"You pretty much every time you see my tits," Alex answered as she pulled her car into her spot in the garage and pulled the keys out of the ignition, "So what'll it be?"

"I do love your bedtime stories."

"Then I'll make some tea while we put on our comfies and look at sexy mansions that scream power and beauty."

"Okay but if we find anything remotely interesting, we have to contact the agent. No more just looking. We need to buy something if you want me to keep doing the shots. Suck it up and make a move, Vause. I know that isn't in your skill set but we're living in a house that doesn't work."

"Deal," Alex answered as she kissed my cheek and took my hand gently in hers and I grinned bigger than I had in weeks.


	42. Chapter 42

I stepped off the plane and into a Los Angeles late morning that felt more like summer than fall with Alex holding my hand, "I could never live here. I'd like to think I could but I couldn't."

"I felt the same way when I lived through my first California winter. It was trippy."

"Was it trippy because you were spending too much time in the Haight or because of the year-round summer weather?"

"I was a first-year med student, I had no time for such things," Alex responded playfully as we walked down the jetway and emerged into a bustling LAX full of businessmen heading in the opposite direction from us and families arriving decked out in multicolored garb that screamed 'I'm going to Disneyland' with glittery Mickey Mouse heads on their bold colored t-shirts and family names emblazoned in cheap black lettering.

"Sure, babe. Right. You never played a game of mystery drug or woke up from a colorful dream wondering what you last licked."

"Say lick again," Alex teased a little too loudly as she led me to baggage claim like she had been there a million times. Alex was always so confident and self-assured. Even if she didn't dress like a million bucks, she would still look the part. Now that Diane had told me a bit more about the off-brand second-degree knock-offs she wore as a kid and how the woman had taught her to own it when all the other girls had better clothes than her. Diane Vause had instilled true confidence in her daughter and as long as Alex didn't stray too far from the older Vause she was able to tap into her inner power reserves.

"Baby!"

"Am I being a bad girl? Do I need to be punished?"

"There's sweet little Midwestern families who don't need their children to find out what princesses do in their off time."

"Mmmm…yes wait until Belle gets Cinderella to the hotel," she teased before she started humming "Kiss the Girl."

"You need to study up on your Disney Princesses. Cause you are all over the map. Hell, your Disney in general. I doubt we'll be lucky enough to dodge that bullet twice."

"Hey, we weren't all born in the height of the original Disney Princess generation. They weren't a thing when I was a little girl."

"Yeah and only three of them even existed. I forget you were still playing with rags and corn husks by the candlelight as a child. And ma hollering to stop wasting our candles reading all night."

"And now you read books to your son."

"And tomorrow night, I'll start reading them to my daughter."

"You know just because we're put a girl embryo in my belly doesn't mean we'll have a daughter. Don't you want to wait a couple of months until you are sure there's a little girl to read to?"

"It's never too soon to start. And I'm already attached. They've been a part of your life for eleven months and of mine for six years. That's a long time and even I can't avoid catching feelings for that long."

"Yeah, so far I'm not seeing much of this cold-hearted Vause bitch I was so thoroughly warned about when we first got together. And by not much I mean not any," I teased as we got off the escalator in baggage claim.

"It's tough to be cold around something so warm and soothing. And that's the old me. Besides, right now you seem to be doing a pretty good job at being heartless and unattached for the both of us."

"I'm just being realistic. It might not work and you have to be okay with that."

"Are you getting cold feet?"

"No. I want it to work more than anything. I don't want to come back here again for another two years unless it's looking like those families in their coordinated Mickey shirts."

"Then act like it. Aren't you the one who is always saying you want everything you missed out on the first time around?"

"Yeah but reading to a creature that doesn't have ears or a brain is a little weird. It won't even really be a baby yet."

"Okay, maybe all they are is clumps of cells to you right now but they're clumps of my cells and the cutest ones to ever exist. Cute little babies with a seventy-percent chance of having green eyes. And a high probability of being a redhead, thanks to my love for gingers and a recessive gene from Diane Vause."

"And you'd be happier than a pig in mud to see a swatch of red hair between my legs."

"Well, it would certainly be closer to what I'm used to seeing down there," Alex teased as she grabbed our bags and I stared her down and made sure she knew she was in big trouble, "Yes but their ginger pussies aren't wearing my ring, now are they? And the only head I ever put between their legs was mine. I like your-"

"Quit while you are still in the race, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause."

"What worried I'll reveal that you are a bottle-blonde? And think your brown-haired son you claim is dirty blonde does that for me."

"He has Cal's dark blonde hair."

"But you don't. Let's go back to the hotel, then I'll take you shopping on Rodeo or we could go to Santa Monica, take you to the Promenade and go for a walk on the beach. It's more fun there anyway. Less paparazzi running around trying to get a shot of anything that could potentially be a movie star."

"And you think that's you, Dr. Vause?"

"I know it is."

"God, you are cocky."

"You don't think I could convince people I'm a famous actress if I wanted to, especially with you on my arm."

"Yeah, except I think I look more like an actress."

"Cause you look straight? Which one of us was an actress-model again? It's a new world, thank Ellen or whatever. Lesbian actresses are a thing, ones who are actually good-looking. Like her wife, yum."

"God, you are terrible."

"What cause I'd like to take her on a trip down under? But I'd rather take you on one."

"Well then, take me to the hotel and open your legs like the chick who uses her pussy to get ahead that you are."

"That's the plan and maybe tonight I can take you out and fuck you in a bar bathroom."

"Or bend me over the counter and give it to me hard."

"It's your imagination so whatever image helps when you have a belly full of fetus for the next nine months."

"Besides we really shouldn't be going clubbing the night before embryo transfer."

"What, worried bathing in a little leftover tequila is going to hurt the kid? Isn't that how normal people make babies? Wake up two weeks later and wonder why they are still puking?"

"Well, it's your embryo."

"And what doctor are you gonna believe has both of your best interests at heart? Let's have some fun baby."

"It's probably our last chance to go out for a while."

"There's my girl," Alex teased as we picked up our rental car and drove to our hotel in Malibu. Alex had gotten us a huge penthouse suite with views of the ocean and hills. It was the sort of place that was used to people coming to stay for expensive elective medical treatments and it sure was someplace to recoup.

"Does it meet your standards, baby? Cause I can call the desk," Alex came up me on the balcony with a cup of herbal tea wearing nothing but a robe after my shower.

"It's amazing," I heard her zipper and then I felt something poking me from behind, "Baby, what are you doing?"

"Showing you just how slick I am."

"What if somebody sees us?"

"This high in the sky? It won't look like anything but a cute lesbian couple cuddling unless you make it look like more," She teased as she pushed my robe up just enough to gain access to my ass, "So wet baby and thinking about you in that shower has made me so hard. You know you want it. And you like it nice and deep but slow."

"Yes, but not here. You can do it anywhere else. And if you are a good girl, maybe I'll let you eat my pussy with my ass on the window tonight when we get home."

"Okay, let's play dirty hide and seek. I'll count to ten and whatever you are closest to is what you have to hold onto while I pound you from behind cause you aren't allowed back on that plane without a baby in your belly. So you had better take everything I have to give when I feel like giving it."

"I shouldn't enjoy this as much as I know I'm gonna."

"That's part of the fun. You like being a naughty girl. And it takes a real woman to bend over and take a cock then ask to go again while they are still swollen. Is there anything more feminist than a woman who says I like to get fucked? Claim your pussy! You are a freak and we both know you don't go to yoga because you like to meditate! Now go," Alex commanded as she pushed me against the iron railing and slapped my ass loudly, leaving a red mark I hope the poor doctor who had to see my bottom half naked wouldn't notice. I was starting to get concerned with the condition my pussy would be in by eleven am tomorrow morning but I figured I probably wouldn't be the first woman to show up for IVF without following the rules. And I wouldn't have spent yesterday shopping for lingerie if I planned to behave. I riffled through Alex's extra bag where I knew she liked to hide her toys to see if she brought anything fun and found a ball gag. By this point in my life my first thought was she knows me so well. I looked over at the dresser but then saw the pillows three deep on both sides, Alex always asked for triple pillows and I decided they'd be comfy on my knees while I grasped the headboard so I got in position as I heard Alex begin to search for me.

"Well, well what do we have here," Alex looked at me now in nothing but a see-through black lace bra and a red ball in my mouth, "There's nothing hotter than a woman who puts on her own gag. A real do-it-yourself woman, my kind of girl. Just add hard cock. And look, you even thought about my old knees," Alex came over and started nibbling at my neck as she rubbed my breasts and rubbed her groin against my ass, gradually upping the intensity until I felt the grind and I wanted it so I pivoted my hips and widened my stance to encourage her to see how open I was. And it worked. Alex reached her hand down my tight abs then started rubbing my clit as she told me her ass was mine to do anything I wanted and she was just as sopping wet as I was. As badly as I wanted her dick in me, I had to admit I liked this. Alex's plans were always better than anything I could have come up with on my own. And I was in no position to complain if I wanted to. I had chosen to put myself at her mercy. When she was ready, I felt her move her hand and pull the toy out of her pants then put my hips into the position she wanted them and penetrated me slowly, making sure I felt every inch as it went in. She pulled my hair as she fucked me hard, knowing she could make me scream as loud as she wanted to. When I was close, she told me to rub my clit however I wanted. I heard her moaning in between grunts as she enjoyed the show of watching me pleasure myself to the point of orgasm with her cock thrusting deep within me until I couldn't wait for permission another moment longer and came without caring whether or not I was supposed to. She took the gag off and spun me around after we were done. She kissed me and started to zip her jeans but I grabbed her crotch and said, "No. Don't."

"I thought we had plans for tonight."

"I want a night with just the two of us. A bottle of the hotel's best champagne, room service and fucking. After all, the purpose of this trip isn't to explore WeHo and go shopping. It's to put your baby in me and that's all I wanna do. Well, that and eat your pussy, I'll think of a reason later."

"You don't need a reason," Alex whispered as she took my hand and placed it where the harness gave access to her swollen pussy, "Because you do that to me." I looked in her eyes questioningly as my hand found the straps of the harness, "May I?"

"You most definitely may."

I took the harness off her as we made out, "How do you want it," I asked her when her kisses took on a deeper hunger.

"How do you wanna give it to me? This was your idea and I'm up for anything that involves your tongue."

"How about you lay back against the headboard and open your legs like the boss queen you are. Then we'll go to the living room and you can order room service while I suck your tits and finger your pussy, see just how good you are at concentrating on a task when you have a distraction. Think of it as training for when you have to make a phone call with a self-centered newborn who only wants to play."

"I'll make sure it's a nice long order and to ask more questions then you do at a restaurant."

"Then I'll keep going until you burst and can't hold back making the poor guy on the phone know that you are cumming."

"Bring it on. I brought a new strapless dildo and a nice spreader. And you know how much you love it when you get the best of both worlds with nothing in our way."

"Does it vibrate?"

"Who do you think you are talking to? It's also waterproof."

"What's a girl gotta do to get you to fuck her in stockings and a garter with that thing?"

"Put on the same outfit but in white," Alex commanded as she assumed the requested position and I found a sexy lace thong and black stockings as I made a show of putting them on for her and giving her my best pole dance as she sat there watching and touching herself. I watched her put two fingers inside her warm, wet opening and pump hard as she tried to fulfill her own needs, much to Piper's amusement.

"Having a little trouble there, Vause?"

"Does this amuse you? Do you take pleasure from my agony?"

"You know the answer to both those questions is," I leaned up against the bedpost and gave her my hottest bedroom eyes, "yes," before crawling onto the bed and pressing my body against hers, so every part met it's perfect match and twirling my tongue in her mouth. I lifted her legs above her head as I rubbed along each one and watched her large tits coming to peaks on her otherwise muscular body.

"Well are you going to keep letting cum drip onto my ass or are you going to do something about the current position you've twisted me into?"

"Your tits look so hot right now, I don't know what it is."

"Play with my humungo tits later, lick my pussy like a real dyke!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"It's doctor, whore."

"You think I'm gonna be very interested in the other end with you talking like that?"

"I know you will."

As I felt a burning ember travel down my body, warming everything it touched and making me break out in a sweat, I knew she was right, "Sorry Doctor Vause, the lesbian pussy queen of Manhattan."

"And you are still the fallen maiden forced into a life of sexual servitude by her sins of the flesh."

"Oh, so we're roleplaying tonight?"

"Yes. Now stay in character or you go back to being a chambermaid."

"Yes, and it could be worse for a girl in my position. I got lucky enough to fall into the lap of a wealthy, powerful woman who doesn't" I leaned over and ran my tongue down her leg while teasing her clit with my fingers, "ask for much," I steadied my hands on her legs and lowered my face between them as I pleasured her until she became a heaving, teary mess underneath me and I swallowed all the cum I could handle, for the moment anyway. I let her legs fall back on the bed and laid my head over her heart while I played with her right breast and she planted kisses on my hair and savored the pleasure of our bodies pressed against each other without anyone doing more than kisses and cuddles. Eventually, I heard her tummy start vibrating against mine but I wasn't ready to leave our moment of pure bliss so I waited until I heard it grumble.

"Something you want to tell me, Dr. Vause?"

"I have a sexy woman in lingerie on top of me, I would willingly starve. Or see how long the human body can survive on pussy alone."

"Not as long as I want you around for, let's make that call and we can eat the sexiest dinner of our lives. Take a bath and see what happens. I need to be relaxed for tomorrow."

After a dinner of oysters, steak, lobster and salad and ordering a second bottle of champagne I found myself in a perfectly temperate lavender vanilla bubble bath receiving a massage from my perfect fiancé while I soaked my body and she burned aromatherapy candles. She told me how certain pressure points connect to the ligaments around the uterus and some believe can encourage conception. She sat on the ledge of the tub and looked at me with so much love and appreciation as I played with the bubbles in the water and leaned my head back while she gave me sips of champagne every time that I smiled at her. We didn't need words, she anticipated my every need to be soothed.

Eventually, I reached my hand and placed it on top of hers, "I'm ready for you to take me to bed. Let's go make a baby. I've never felt so wide open to the universe than I do right now."

"When you talk like that I start to think you are a full lesbian."

"If female-centered earth mother spirituality is being a lesbian then I guess I'm a bigger dyke than you," that taunt won me a splash of water to the face as we quickly devolved into laughter and Alex ended up pulled into the tub with her naked body pressed against mine as our clits pressed together and breasts rubbed against each other as we made desperate yet sweet love and bubbly water spilled over the tub while Alex reminded me she could afford whatever tip or room charge was necessary for the mess we made of the suite that night. Somewhere during our marathon sex session, one of us ordered a bottle of Bacardi and I looked up from between Alex's legs to see her sipping from an amber-colored bottle of whiskey that I had no idea where it came from. Eventually, we became exhausted and didn't wake up until Alex's six am alarm went off.

"Babe, we gotta wake up," I whispered through dry lips as I leaned in to kiss Alex, knowing my morning breath was worse than ever.

"I feel like I just got to sleep. You're sure we have to go?"

"As great as last night was it didn't actually get me pregnant. Your daughter is waiting for us."

"Five more minutes."

"I'm going downstairs for coffee. You had better be up, preferably with wet hair, when I come back. Or it's the last time I take your medical advice," I told her as I heard one last groan and felt a hand around my waist and lips on my shoulder while I brushed my teeth, "Gummuming," I said through a foamy mouth as she became more amorous.

"You are so adorable," she responded as she squeezed me tightly just above my hips, I was feeling a little sore from the shots and uterus at the peak of fertility but something about it made me feel so much love, in spite of the pain. I must have shown it from the rate of my breathing though because she went from squeezing to rubbing, "You sore, babe?"

"It's just a little tender. It'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"It's nothing I can't handle. And besides, I figure if I'm sore it means my lining is super thick and that egg is gonna get all comfy and then I'll start complaining about being uncomfortable."

"And you have every right to, just know I'm sorta an expert at dodging insults from pregnant women."

"And in how many of those cases were you the responsible party?"

"Hopefully none," Alex teased as she pressed her front against my back and kissed my ear.

"Since I'm currently feeling your tits in my back and no morning wood and you are definitely turned on, it's definitely none," I asserted, shutting down her attempt at sarcasm.

"But yeah, I know I'm in for it like never before. How about we get some breakfast, you need more than coffee in your system this morning. I'll hop in the shower real quick and we can go," Alex whispered seductively as she nibbled at my ear lobe and her fingers found my clit. She knew if there were two things in this world that I couldn't resist it was a stack of pancakes dripping with maple syrup and suds dripping down my fiance's sexy body and Alex knew it.

"You don't have to try so hard, I like a good voyeuristic peep show."

"Just keep your peeping eyes on me," she commanded before giving me a hickey before my brain could register what she was doing.

Around four hours later we were entering a hidden back entrance of a ritzy IVF clinic in Beverly Hills that emptied into a luxurious plush room with white couches and candles.

"Is this a waiting room?"

"What too rich even for your blood?"

"A little. And I think I'm nervous."

"How much Valium does it take to calm you down?"

"You've met Carol Chapman? I was probably born immune to the effects of the stuff."

"What happened to the centered earth mother ready to receive a daughter into her womb? Power of the feminine and all that crunchy shit you were muttering about last night before things happened," Alex whispered as she rubbed my back then pulled me close and led me to the counter without wavering the least bit, "Just let me handle it."

Alex smiled at the young curly-haired woman behind the desk, "Dr. Alex Vause and Ms. Piper Chapman. We should have an eleven o'clock and would you tell Dr. Kilpatrick an old friend is here to see him? Tell him he has five minutes before I start telling his cute receptionist embarrassing stories."

I watched as the girl giggled and blushed but I knew the word cute was meaningless coming from her mouth and I shot her a look that screamed don't flatter yourself then gave Alex my sweetest come hither look. Because she may have been cute but I was fuckin' adorable and those were words she had only ever said to one girl. Seconds later a tall dark-haired, blue-eyed slender man who looked to be in his mid-forties.

"What's this about being in the mood for storytime, Vause? Cause that can go both ways. Are you going to introduce me to the pretty little blonde thing on your arm?"

"This is my future wife, Piper and if you do your job right the birth giver of my first daughter."

"That's right, you have a stepson now."

"I prefer son and so does he. Stepson implies he has a third parent and he doesn't."

"I'm sure you have pictures."

"What mother doesn't. His goofy mug is the wallpaper on my phone," she smiled as she looked down at the picture of me laughing as her lock screen and flipped past what I could tell by her face were pictures of me in lingerie before finding a few especially cute ones of Geo. The two visited for a few minutes in the waiting room before he returned to the back office area. Moments later, we were led back to a room that disguised its true purpose behind Egyptian cotton sheets and real blankets. I put on a soft white cotton gown and laid on the comfiest exam table I'd ever been on.

"How does it feel?"

"Uncomfortable and cold despite all their best efforts."

"It'll be over soon."

"That's easy to say when you aren't on your back with a full bladder with a catheter shoved about as far in you as humanly possible."

"Yeah it sucks and you are stronger than me. I was fully sedated for my part of this whole deal. Which is probably good because if I had been in my right mind, I wouldn't have let them probe around up there. I love you," she told me tenderly as she rubbed my forehead with her palm, "Just try to relax. Imagine that we are in a bungalow on the island of your choice and you see my wet body coming out of the shower and so you beckon me over and we make love and two weeks later find out that's not all we made."

"You always know what to tell a girl. I love you."

"I love you, too," she answered as a doctor walked into the room.

"Hello, ladies. Everything is all in order. Any last questions or concerns?"

"No, I just want this over with. Sorry, I didn't mean—that came out wrong. It's-"

"Don't worry, Ms. Chapman," the doctor interrupted, "Not the first time I've heard that today. I know that as hard as we try, we can't make this not feel clinical and awkward. And most women who come in here have struggled for years and this is the final hurdle. And I couldn't ask for more ideal transfer conditions," He told me as he loaded the sample and then looked at Alex, "Dr. Kilpatrick said you could do the honors, that is if it's okay with the patient. The medical director just wanted me to make sure to say you aren't covered by your malpractice insurance or ours."

"What do you think, Pipes?"

"I don't know how I feel about knowingly having an unlicensed procedure," I teased before seeing the mixture of shock and pain on Alex's face, "You know I'm kidding. I want you to put your baby in me. Just remember you're stuck with it for life, so don't fuck up."

"Don't worry, I'm a professional," she teased as she reached for a pair of latex gloves from the wall.

"Well, guess there's a first time for everything," I replied as Alex rolled her eyes and mouthed stop. She took the syringe and placed it inside the catheter then pressed down as I watched the screen.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me, baby," she teased after the doctor left to give me a chance to rest after the procedure.

"Well, it wasn't an orgasmic experience but I have a fertilized embryo in my womb so it wasn't completely a waste of time."

"Funny, you wanna get up and take a walk down the hall?"

"Can we? I thought I had to lay here and let gravity do its work."

"Recent studies refute the need for bed rest if the patient is up to it. And is my favorite patient up to it? Besides you have your personal physician with you."

"You gonna catch her too in nine months?"

"Well, I do pride myself on being a full-service woman. And technically I have OB privileges at NYU."

"Yes, but isn't there some sort of law about practicing medicine on family?"

"Yes, but think of what your life looks like if I chose to follow that law. Every time one is puking and the other is dripping snot I'd have to say, sorry babe you know I can't, I'd love to help but you know it would be illegal."

"Oh, you had better not," I teased as she smiled her irresistible smile and helped me off the exam table and held my hand as we paced along the hall. We headed straight to lunch and then took a long walk on the beach before heading back to the room to nap, although I don't know how much sleep Alex got because I fell asleep with her hand running along my belly with a smile and woke up two hours later to her still doing the same exact thing. She was so in love that it worried me a bit but it was the sweetest thing ever and I never wanted it to stop, even if it was the only thing stranger than having a catheter in my uterus for half an hour.


	43. Chapter 43

"Baby," Alex cooed over my ear with one hand wrapped tightly around my hips. I could tell by the amount of light streaming through the window that I had overslept but after spending two hours fighting my bladder for the past two nights it felt good to get some sleep.

"Uhh-uhh-mmmph."

"Sleepy, Pipes?"

"Uhhh-uhh…Mayde dus a'diddle. Cug'git compe."

"You are so adorable when you're drowsy."

"No work?"

"Don't have to be in until eleven, thank heavens for Thanksgiving break."

"Son?"

"Nicky and Lorna took him to breakfast and are going to take him to school. I know what you're gonna say but a McMuffin won't kill the kid and I told them they had to buy the kid a breakfast with protein and give him some fruit and strive for something green. I just wanted a morning with my special girl before I have to deal with the Chapmans for two days."

"Dey'et mom come."

"That only makes things more stressful. Our moms hate each other."

"Mom like Tarol. Tarol idiot tink te be-ur."

"God, it's a good thing I speak fluent Piper."

"Tarol dudint."

"Yeah, that should tell you everything you need to know about what woman actually loves you. I've known you for sixteen months and the first two months were over email. Although if I had known how hot you look in a bikini I woulda asked you out sooner."

"You rewhying hi'ory? Pussy."

"Well, they say you are what you eat. You want coffee or tea?"

"Coffee, small cup though."

"Yeah cause of the baby," she pushed her hand under my thermal top.

"We don't—wait what day is it?"

"It's been fourteen days exactly."

"So why did you really take five hours off this morning?"

"You feel like peeing on a stick? Or I could take you to visit my friends in OB, I'll make sure you only get someone experienced. We can get it marked STAT."

"And with that mark on it they put on everything of mine or Geo's when we go there?"

"Yup, don't you like the perks of my job and being domestic partners in the eyes of NYU?"

"I just don't like when people wonder why me or my kid gets seen first, even when we aren't the sickest patient."

"It's just how things work, especially when you could get the head of the hospital on the phone in three seconds. Having a seat at the table as the token gay woman paid to speak for all queer women in the City as if that's possible has its benefits. Don't fight the silver spoon you were lucky enough to be born with or the place your heart led you. C'mon get up and pee on a stick," Alex teased as she rubbed Piper's cheek then let her tit fall out of her shirt, "Oops how did that get there," she asked with an embarrassed expression, as if she really had no idea before pushing it in my face, dangling it precariously closer with every time she rolled her chest forward with no response from me.

"God, I never thought the day would come when I would be tired of waking up with tits in my face or there would be something worse than waking up with a hard cock pressing against my unaroused pussy," I exclaimed as I flipped the comforter off my body.

"Well, guess I know how I'm waking you up tomorrow, stinky butt. Since you miss it so much."

"Did I say I missed it? Cause I don't recall saying that."

"Then what is it, are you tired of me?"

"No, it's just I'm starting to discover that it is possible to be both horny and exhausted. Believe me, those are serving their purpose, just I can't stop wanting to bite your fucking nipple off because it's in my fucking face and I don't know why," I asserted as I broke into tears. Alex took my head in her hands and I cried against her chest in heaving sobs as my hands clutched the hem of her shirt tightly. "I…I love you so much and I love waking up to your perfect form and making out until it inevitably turns into more."

"It's called pregnancy."

"Bu-bu…I wasn't like this before."

"Every pregnancy is different and this time you have a little girl in your belly. And maybe you didn't notice because you weren't looking for it. You like to explain away anything and everything. You are the only one who believes your bullshit."

"I'm not the only one. Just you don't buy it much better than I buy yours. Yet still you try."

"I'll stop when you do. So sex?"

"I thought you wanted me to get up and pee on a stick."

"I do so get your ass up and make sure to wipe real good, cum is tasty the rest not so much."

"Maybe we should put a bidet in the new house."

"Yeah, I'll call the contractor right now."

"You mean you aren't coming with me," I gave her my best sweet puppy-dog eyes, "I need a professional to read the test."

"Because you don't know what two lines look like on a test strip?"

"Would you believe no."

"Sure if only there wasn't a dinosaur blanket still on the floor from when we cuddled in bed and watched a movie the other night."

"You found my bankie! I been looking for tat eweware!"

Alex tried to hold in her laughter and her tightened core only made me want her more, even if she was being especially smug this morning and didn't deserve it. I kissed her cheek as she blushed like a little girl, "Don't go soft on me, Vause. It's too early for that shit."

"In the day," Alex asked with an expression that the outside observer would never successfully interpret as sarcasm in a million years.

"Ask the stick in five minutes if you really don't know the answer. But I know you do, now come if you want to cum this morning, for the rest of this year, until I decide otherwise. Oh and since your shirt isn't doing its job be a dear and take it off for me."

"Okay, but it'll cost you."

"Is that so," I teased with my lips close enough to touch hers, "If you want it come and get it," just as she moved her head towards mine I ran across the room hollering, "next time you'll remember to hold on to it if you want it the easy way."

Moments later while I was admiring the display of specimen cup and hospital test strips Alex came up behind me and grabbed me tightly and turned my lips so she could kiss me.

"Stealing office supplies again, Vause?"

"What just cause I'm made of money doesn't mean I can't be choosy about how I spend it. Buying clothes for the label, sure. But a test for one, not so much."

"But I want one of those cool tests that pop up with the word pregnant."

"If this is positive you can buy whatever props you want for your pregnancy announcement."

"I have so many ideas. I've always thought a Christmas morning announcement would be perfect."

"One step at a time."

"You started it."

"Are we really gonna fight right now?"

"You've been at my throat all morning. Put your claws back where they belong."

"Oh, I plan to. Right after I take care of this," I hissed as I angrily grabbed the cup then winked seductively. I did what I had to do and then handed it to Alex, "I've always wondered how the professionals do it."

"Send it to the little peons so we don't have to deal with bodily fluids."

"And that is why you are a psychiatrist."

"Hey, I don't like piss and blood but I love medicine and having a toddler has broken me of those things med school couldn't."

"Shit, I forgot my phone so we could time it."

"Don't need it, I did survive OB residency and since I was always the same tattooed lesbian you love back then, so I did mostly scut work because nobody wanted me around," Alex replied as she pulled the test strips out of the water, "Now we wait."

I leaned my head on her shoulder and grabbed as much of her breast in my palm as I could, "I'm so glad I have someone to wait with for once."

"Because I'm not a little boy who sticks it in, cums, then runs and leaves the poor girl to deal with the rest."

"Really you're not a boy," I teased as I rubbed her nipple until it became hard, "cause I thought for sure you were."

"I know I have a perfect cock but we both know if I were we woulda been here a year ago."

"Way to convince me you're different."

"oh c'mon you know you woulda been the one asking me to give it to you raw while I pound you from behind," Alex rested her head on mine for a moment, "I would have made sure that you were sure that's what you wanted and then flipped you on your back and finished what we started as I kissed you passionately. And if you came to me and told me, baby, I'm late or I think I'm pregnant I would have been right here because an appendage shouldn't change how you behave. And been there for you no matter what, just as I will be. You ready to look at the strips?"

"No, but if you are, you can look."

Alex looked down and I knew what it was from the way her eyes shimmered in the morning autumn sun washing her bathroom in it's radiant light and the very un-Alex like grin, I knew it was pride.

"We're pregnant, aren't we?"

"Well one of us is."

"Hey, it's your embryo in my uterus, I think that is one of the only times it's permissible to say we."

"Well, if the owner of the oven says it's okay, who am I to say no. We're gonna have a baby we started from scratch."

"I don't know if it's scratch per se, since she's older than her older brother."

"Well, we're still starting from an embryo, even if we didn't make her together, in my heart we, I did."

"Don't you turn into a puddle too, Vause," I teased as the dam burst and she started bawling uncontrollably, "Those are happy tears, right?"

"Yes."

"Let's get into the shower and celebrate."

"Sounds good, babe."

"You are really agreeing to shower sex without a fight?"

"You're having my baby, you could chain me up and keep me as your sex slave if you wanted."

"I don't know how we'd explain that to Geo and you are the breadwinner in this family so if I want my babies' bellies filled and covered then I need you to work."

"Well, good to know what we have is true love," Alex fired back as I checked the water temperature in her shower, I glanced over and rolled my eyes as I stripped off my pajamas and climbed in the shower and let the water stream over my body, watching the droplets pause as they journeyed along my still tight core, oblivious to all that was happening beneath them. The longer I stood there, the more I began to wonder if they were as unaware of what lied beneath layers of muscle and skin as I thought. But I couldn't wonder very long because I soon felt Alex come up behind me and kiss my shoulder, "Just so we're clear I am doing this under duress," her hand ran down my wet abdomen as she nibbled at my neck and shoulders and let her fingers dance blindly between my legs and my moans grew louder and deeper as I threw my head against the warmth of her bosom and let her expert fingers guide my orgasm to a release that was both gentle and powerful all at once. Then I got my knees in front of her and kissed a line down the center of her ribcage past her navel, planting hickeys just above her pelvis on whatever loose skin I could find while my hands reached for her breasts and I took her swollen clit into my mouth as she began moaning loudly. When she was close I moved a hand down her body and entered her tight opening with two fingers, unfolding her hungrily and fervently. Her moans turned to screams as she struggled to stand and with one long, forceful thrust I hit the one spot that would make her explode. I quickly switched my fingers for my tongue and used the sticky, sweet fingers to hold her up as I felt her walls contracting and drawing my tongue in deeper. When the spasms stopped I gave her slit a few more good long licks and then got up and we washed each other's hair and body before drying off and going to our closet to get dressed for the day. Alex treated me to breakfast at our favorite diner and since I could eat whatever I wanted for the next nine months, I ordered French Toast with strawberries, roasted red potatoes and four strips of bacon instead of my usual egg white garden omelet and English Muffin.


	44. Chapter 44

The next day we met with one of Alex's friends in the OB department because Alex wanted to tell her mom about our daughter's impending arrival but I didn't want to tell anyone other than her until I made sure she was in the right place and developing at a normal pace. Hopefully, also with a heartbeat but as Alex had unnecessarily reminded me a million times, it could be too early.

"So, Vause, what's this about you putting a girl in a delicate condition," Dr. Jones teased as we walked into her exam room.

"Oh, c'mon you know it was bound to happen eventually."

"Yes, with how indiscriminate you are with your cock."

"Yes, but my cock isn't how this happened. I wish it were but it's not."

"So how exactly did this happen?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, of course?"

"That and professional courtesy. We're colleagues. How you chose to build your family is up to you but if there's anything we need to be aware of, you should tell us."

"I'm the biological mother. I froze my eggs, it doesn't appear in my NYU records."

"I can understand why you would make that choice because I know you and your reputation and you have the medical knowledge to make that decision. Where did you go?"

"California, Beverly Hills. One of those IVF clinics that cater to the uber-rich with personal and financial capital to lose from people finding out they were seeking fertility treatments."

"Do they have a location on the Upper West Side?"

"They might. And four locations in California now, at the time, they had two for IVF and one egg donation clinic in the state."

"I think I know the clinic. They are known for doing designer babies, did you do any of that?"

"Not as much as some do. I had them screened for genetic disorders and did sex selection for this embryo. We decided we wanted to start with one of each and build from there."

"That's right, you have a son, right?"

"Yeah, he's three but in way too much of a hurry to turn four. Sometimes I can't believe it's been a year already and other times I wonder how it's only been a year. Motherhood is the best choice I've ever made. He's everything I never knew I wanted and needed in my life," Alex beamed.

"Does he know he's getting a sibling?"

"No. Pipes here won't tell anyone until she sees evidence that everything is healthy and on-track. I would have told my mom two days ago."

"And how is Diane?"

"Good. She's totally adjusted to grandma life; I don't know who is more excited to see whom for Thanksgiving. My mom or my son."

"It's her first with him, right?"

"Yeah, we were barely a couple last holidays, so this is our first holiday season as a family."

"My advice, take pictures because it goes by so fast. Now, speaking of taking pictures, let's get you up here, Piper, and take a look at this little peanut of yours. Does she have a nickname yet?"

"No, I always thought of them as my little popsicles but the wifey doesn't like it and they're ours now. The wifey also won't tell me what she does like."

"Careful or her nickname will be 'thing that makes me vomit' soon," Dr. Jones joked as she slid the transponder inside me and made sure I was still comfortable.

"We'll think of something," Alex responded as she grabbed a chair beside me and took my hand while the doctor began to look for my uterus and the tiny embryo that was hopefully growing inside me, nestled in my uterine lining where she belonged. After what felt like holding my breath for hours the screen came alive. High on the right side of my uterus we saw a tiny black hole amongst the greys and whites of the screen. I looked over at Alex and could tell she was crying but I knew better than to point that out or even outwardly smile about it but I could feel my heart fluttering at the sight of the woman I loved responding to the promise of her baby growing inside my uterus. Then the doctor pointed the yolk sac out and where things were before she zoomed in on the black hole until the tiniest speck of white appeared inside the dark, seemingly endless abyss.

"That's your baby girl. She's right on track developmentally, already measuring a bit large for her date and let's see if her little heart is working yet. It might still be too early but she's an especially strong embryo so we'll see," she moved the transponder around and pressed buttons until we finally saw the tiniest flicker inside the white blur that was either a speck of dust or our daughter.

"That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," I exclaimed.

"It never gets old. When you get through residency you don't do many ultrasounds for healthy babies so every chance I get to look at an embryo doing what it's supposed to do is a treat. I'll print a few pictures for you guys and I'll print one just for Diane," the doctor told us. Moments later, I was holding a roll of paper with three pictures of our little girl and bawling my eyes out while Dr. Jones handed Alex a picture that said "Hi, Nana" and "Baby Vause due July 2018."

"Congratulations, you two and you had better invite me to the baby shower and all those other fun things."

"Oh, this kid is going to be born and raised at NYU knowing she's the rightful heir to the throne. So, you will be tired of seeing her soon enough. Thanks again for doing this for us," Alex replied with her usual sarcasm before ending with the most genuine emotion I'd ever seen her show in front of anyone she didn't consider immediate family.

"It was my pleasure. I got into this specialty because I love looking at babies. I'm glad this is the last thing I do before I rush to catch a flight to Kansas City and drive at least three hours after fourteen hours at the hospital. It'll remind me to be grateful for the tiniest things in the universe," she responded as Alex helped me off the table after stealing another tissue from my purse which I made sure she knew I saw by winking and grasping harder at her hand. She kissed my cheek as we started down the hallway and I kissed her back. We hurried to the garage where our newly purchased gunmetal G-Wagon was parked and we could safely video chat with Diane. We drove up to the roof where there was better light and parked the car. She put her phone in the dashboard holder and dialed the call, it rung twice before Diane with light makeup and jeans with a long-sleeved brown shirt appeared on the screen.

"Hey baby," Diane exclaimed in her favorite holiday apron, the one with the red frills along the edge, "How was work?"

"It was good. So glad to have a few days off, I'm still behind from taking time off to go to California for a week."

"But we're still going Black Friday shopping, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. As long as you are okay with being a trio this year."

"You know I love Piper more than you, she's my favorite daughter."

"If I'm going to be unseated by anyone, I'd want it to be her. So, what are you up to?"

"Just checking things one last time before I get on the road to drive up to Manhattan," Diane responded as she shuffled through bags and began to take off her apron and walked over to her pantry and hung it on the hook.

"You know, it's not like Manhattan is some Podunk town with only a Stop 'n' Shop for food," Alex teased.

"I know but things are so much more expensive outside of Massachusetts."

"And you know your stores. You like to get in and get out," Alex responded.

"Just like somebody else I know," I added with a gentle shove to Alex's shoulder.

"Well, we have some news," Alex said as she tried not to burst from happiness but a smile betrayed her natural inclination to keep her cool at all times.

"Oh? Are you giving me another grandbaby?"

"Shit. Nothing gets past you," Alex replied with a gulp in a tone like a child who had unsuccessfully tried to hide something from their mother.

"I'm your mom, I know you better than I know yourself, Alex Pearl Vause. You've been together for a year and engaged for almost five months, you've had ample opportunities to get those embryos you showed me from the freezer you kept the poor things in to Piper's belly."

"Well, if it was growing in her belly that would be very bad," Alex answered with daring sarcasm.

"We aren't all doctors, Alex. And I still can't get used to the anatomical terms for things. You know what I mean, now stop being an asshole to your mother. How far along are you, Piper?"

"Just over five weeks. It hasn't hit me yet."

"Yeah it took eight weeks before I really felt anything when I was pregnant with Alex. And the first time you didn't have many symptoms either, right?"

"Yeah, nothing really until ten weeks. Looking back, the signs were there much earlier but I ignored them. But I didn't really ever get morning sickness."

"Lucky bitch," Diane teased and all three of us laughed.

"I had the nose of a werewolf though. And my tits were so sore and swollen."

"Probably cause they're so tiny normally."

"Thanks, mom. You going to start questioning me if I'm going to be able to adequately nourish your first biological grandchild soon?"

"Now, darlin', calm down, sweetheart. You know I don't think like that. I'm more educated than that thanks for having a doctor in women's health for a daughter. And as for the other thing you said, you know my feeling about grandbabies. I didn't care how I got them as long as I got them. Even when Alex convinced me that was something I'd never have. I will love all my grandbabies equally—whether boys, girls or puppies. I don't care about their DNA, just that the child I birthed comes to me and says mom this is your grandbaby. You'll have to show me your belly every day."

"It's gonna be a while before there's anything exciting to see with my belly."

"A part of me that grew inside my daughter is growing inside of you, every second of that is exciting to me. And you're my daughter. Someday, you'll have a daughter and then you'll know. The bond between mother and daughter when done right is like nothing else, unfortunately, it's rarely done right."

"Well, you'll have to impart your wisdom on the subject in me. Your daughter is an asshole but that's not your fault."

"Are you? How can you know so soon?"

Alex looked into the camera with her most exuberant smile, "We're having a girl! I did genetic testing. Full testing was included since I was older and didn't have full knowledge of my medical history. And we decided to do sex selection for our first round of IVF. We wanted one of each to start with and then whatever else we get lucky enough to have is just a bonus. We decided that once we had one of each it wouldn't matter. Of course, if they had told us the only viable embryos we had were boys we wouldn't have said, 'no, thanks.' And it worked out that our three healthiest embryos were all girls. We thawed two, just to have an easy backup since it's a lot of time and money even for me, and one did better than the other. And now she's growing in Piper's womb and it's so crazy and amazing. I can't believe I live in a world where social acceptance and science has gotten to where the woman that I'm marrying can literally carry my child. The past few days since we found out the embryo took all I have been able to think about is all the things I can't wait to do. All the things I didn't think I'd get to experience when a woman was carrying my child."

"So, are you both recognized as mothers?"

"We've found out that it's a little tricky since we're not married."

"Then get yourselves to the courthouse," Diane said in a matter of fact tone that made it clear she thought her daughters were being ridiculous.

"But what about the wedding we're planning in Martha's Vineyard in sixteen months," we asked in near-perfect unison with the same worried tone.

"Oh, still have that. I want to see my baby walk down the aisle. I've accepted you won't wear white and I don't even think you should but I want to see you make an honest woman out of the chick who is giving birth to my grandbabies. You don't have to tell anyone. People will think that's the only ceremony you guys have. Alex, you are a mother now and this goes for you too, Piper. You have to think about your children, especially the daughter you made a deliberate choice together to bring into the world. Do what's best for her, not what is going to please the fucking Chapmans and their WASPy country club high society and anything else stopping you from putting her first. You two have to do everything you can to protect your daughter because nobody else will."

"I have always thought a Valentine's Day wedding would be the perfect combination of cheesy and sweet. I'd be right around four months, with just enough of a bump that it's obvious to even casual observers and past the miscarriage danger zone. You would come, wouldn't you," Piper asked, hopefully.

"I'd have to check my day planner," Diane retorted, reminding me once again where my fiancé got her infamous sarcasm from.

"Mom," we both hollered loudly.

"Of course, my loves. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Although I will have to ask my boss for a couple days off."

"Asked for and granted, mother," Alex hissed as she let her feelings show.

"Well, guess I have no excuse then. It's starting to get late if I'm going to head out tonight and get to your apartment at a somewhat decent hour."

"Okay, we'll see you soon. We'll probably order a pizza and fill our son with sugar and Christmas cartoons to keep him up. I'm thinking about trying him on some classics. Is almost four too young for _Home Alone_," Alex asked.

"Depends on the toddler, yours I'd say go ahead. And nobody says because you start a movie you have to finish it if he can't handle it. I wouldn't show him anything like Miracle on 34th Street where it questions if Santa is real. Keep him little until he starts realizing things. I wish I could have kept you little longer but even if I hadn't been poor, I still couldn't have done that."

"I had a good life and isn't that why you have grandchildren? You kept a kid alive to adulthood and now you get a do-over."

"Yeah, but don't you go looking for do-overs. Get it right the first go-round, it's easier that way. So, I should be on the road within an hour. I'll call you when I get into Manhattan or if I run into horrible traffic."

"See you soon, Mom. Drive safe."

"You guys too."

"Mom," Alex shouted just as Diane was about to hang up.

"What baby?"

"I forgot to show you the picture, we had an ultrasound, we just got out when we called you."

"I'd rather see it when I get there, it'll give me that extra motivation on my drive that I'll need as I deal with the holiday headache. Love you guys, can't wait to see you girls. Piper, you had better let me love on that belly tonight, even if there isn't much of one, that's still where my precious second grandbaby is growing and I can't wait to be close to her."

"Of course, mom. Alex has been loving on the belly since we transferred her into my body, hell since we set the date for the transfer."

"I must have done something right with that girl, huh?"

"Yeah, you did Diane. I'm glad this time I get to go through my pregnancy with the mom I wish I'd had."

"It's going to be so much fun. I can't wait to help you guys pick out everything. Do you still have anything?"

"Nothing I would reuse and no maternity clothes. I didn't think I'd ever have another baby so I gave away a lot of stuff."

"Well, guess we have a goal for our Black Friday shopping then."

"Do I get a say in this?"

"Oh, we'll take you to the video game store and let you get a new toy. Don't you want your girls to be happy?"

"You know I do."

"That settles it then. See you girls soon. Love you."

"Love you," we both replied with glee as the screen went black again and Alex turned the key in the ignition and we started the drive back to the penthouse, holding hands across the center console.


	45. Chapter 45

Around seven-thirty that night we were building with LEGOs on the floor with a Christmas movie streaming on the TV in the background, ignored from the moment Geo asked to bring out the craft box and then just as quickly as he did, he changed his mind and pulled out his LEGOs. He had been doing that a lot lately, we figured it was just where he was at developmentally. He was starting to finally explore his world independently and we had both finally adjusted to a life of limitless options after a year of being spoiled by Dr. Alex Vause. It wasn't always easy and there were still a lot of times it wasn't peaceful but most of the time we were a family. Even if I always played bad cop and Alex was just there as a friend and not a parent. We were still figuring out the stepparent thing and knew it would only get harder when he found out about his little sister coming at the end of July. We had eight months to get him ready and had no ideas about how to do so. Even though Alex always strongly asserted otherwise, she would naturally have a different relationship with the children born into our relationship, even if she weren't the biological mother or at least that's what every mom I talked to and a handful of mental health professionals told me. But for now, we were enjoying our first and only holidays as a bonded family of three before all of our worlds changed forever.

"Momma! Somudy tya bwaway in!"

"You think it's a robber cause we watched that movie? Should we make booby traps with your toys?"

"Bu' by 'en he'd be here."

"Maybe I should," Alex trailed off when she saw my red-hot glare and pursed lips throwing daggers in her direction. I didn't like the idea of living in a home with a gun, even if Alex followed all the precautions and stored everything separately and unloaded, and definitely didn't want our kids to know she had one. Alex mouthed, 'sorry, dear,' I knew she wasn't being genuine but her smile was making my heart do flips and I had a sense I wasn't alone in my reaction, which made my heart beat even more out of control. I leaned over and locked lips with her, not because she deserved it but because it was the only wat to normalize my heart rate when she was caught in the act of being adorable. I vaguely heard Geo running into the entryway yelling Nana and I assumed she scooped him into her arms and the two had one of their usual kiss battles, to see who could go the longest before their kisses turned to giggles. Alex and I had a few versions of that battle, some were pretty G-rated, well except for the kisses being between two women, and others were anything but family-friendly and safe for workplace viewing.

"Where are your moms?"

"Why you dink?"

"Oh, you are turning into your Momma and I'm not sure I like it. Watch your mouth, kid," she told him sternly.

"Don' hit me wid da spoon like bad grammy."

I didn't have to see Diane to know she was breaking into pieces like her daughter had when she found out why I had a restraining order against Amy. Alex had made an anonymous report to a friend who was a social worker because she was legally obligated to, not because she wanted to.

"Oh, baby I would never hit you. I would never hit a child."

"Bu' I seed you slap Momma once."

"She's an adult but when she was a kid, I never touched her in anger. I yelled plenty."

"Momma doesn't yell."

"Yeah, cause we know she's all marshmallows on the inside when it comes to people she loves."

"I had marsellows tonight! Mommies let me have cocoa!"

"They did? Let me use my psychic powers to guess what you had for dinner."

"What we have?"

"Pizza."

"How'd you know that?"

"I'm a mom, we see everything."

"But you not my mom."

"Yeah but I'm your Momma's mama. Speaking of my favorite daughters, where are they?"

"Mommy gived Momma a look an'ow dey kwing."

"Of course. Are they in their room?"

"Wi-ing woom," he answered before Diane started bouncing him in her arms while she walked into the living room and with the Vause woman sarcasm in full force commanded, "Daughters! Cut it out! S-O-N!"

"Hi, mom," Alex gulped.

"Hi, mom yourself. Come help me carry things from the car, prove to me you aren't a worthless human."

"I'll come too," I replied as both Alex and I slowly stood up from the floor and wiped our mouths while still making googly eyes at each other like a couple of teenagers in love.

"No, that's okay, baby," Diane held the now squirmy toddler who couldn't figure out what direction he wanted to run, just that he wanted his freedom back, "You wanna show Nana how big you've gotten and help carry food for tomorrow?"

"Bu'en Mommy be woney."

"I think she'll be fine," Alex answered as Diane set Geo down and he took off running around the room, "I know how stressful seeing Carol is for you, why don't you go upstairs and take a bath. Mom, Geo and I will get everything put away and I'll come up when we're done."

"Nana seep over my 'oom?"

"I'd love to. It would be like when Alex was your age. I loved sleeping in the same bed with my baby girl."

"All grown up and still sharing my bed with a blanket-stealing woman," Alex deadpanned before the three of them headed out of the apartment with Geo skipping and bouncing between them.

We got to my Grandma's house just as morning was turning into afternoon. Geo was engrossed in a video game system for preschoolers that Alex claimed she bought him to commemorate the day that she met him but I knew was just her spoiling him. My parents, my aunt and her rotated hosting Thanksgiving and Celeste rotated between her two sons for Christmas. So far no one from my generation had taken up the task of joining the rotation but I always knew everybody was looking to me as the only granddaughter born into the family and now that I had a house and family of my own I was ready to do it. But I knew Alex and I would have to get Celeste's blessing first. She had allowed the older two Vause women to do the cooking instead of hiring a caterer, even though she hadn't said so, Alex and I knew this was a trial run to see if we were ready for the main event on our own. And there was only one person who cooked better than Alex Vause and that was Diane Vause so I was confident she would tell us we were ready.

Alex drove through the gate and along the long tree-lined driveway to the grand white marble mansion with its Grecian columns.

"Wow, I never thought I'd be in a house like this. Tell me your new house isn't this ostentatious," Diane exclaimed.

"Don't worry Alex and I aren't into columns and dripping with gold. We are guilty of caring about labels too much sometimes but we don't like our house to be flashy, we like understated elegance," I asserted.

"Besides, I didn't wait this long to have kids not to put them first. Our house is huge and has a pool and a view of Manhattan on one and a quarter acre but it's a family home meant to be lived in."

"I don't know, I saw the pictures. And if it's meant to be lived in then why aren't you moving in for at least six months?"

"Because it needs a little customization still. The world isn't designed for tall women and we had a few touches that are easier to add now rather than later. And I'm a tenured university professor and owner of businesses and a foundation, so yeah we need space to entertain. Don't you want your baby to have all her dreams come true," Alex asked in a tone that was a combination of childlike sweetness and playful sarcasm.

"God, take me now. What am I going to do with these children you blessed me with," Diane teased as she took the video game from Geo sitting next to her in the backseat.

"You know you love us," we answered in perfect unison.

"Like an aneurysm mixed with a heart attack. Now we gonna go in or not, my brainless children," Diane asked with her hand on the door handle.

"I not brainless," Geo exclaimed as he proved once again that the Vause women glare was not unique to those who they shared DNA with or possessed two X chromosomes.

"I wasn't talking about you, my little angel man. You are a perfect little prince," she cooed as she unlatched his booster seat, "You ready to see your Gigi?"

"Yeah! Gigi aways gidds me Hah'eels! An' she builds taks wid me!"

"Well, what do you say we go and let your pain in the butt excuse for mothers catch up later."

"We heard that," we both hollered as we sprung from our seats.

"Well, that got you two going," she answered as she too got out of the car and then opened Geo's door and lifted him from his seat and placing him on her hip as she followed close behind us. I let myself into the house because this was my grandma's house and not my mother's and she scoffed at a lot of Carol's formality.

"Grandma," I hollered through the house as I took Alex's hand back in mine after closing the door.

"In the sunroom sweetie. I just made some water for tea, feel free to help yourselves to some and make some cocoa for sweet little Geo then come enjoy the unseasonably warm late fall afternoon," she hollered from across the house. As always, she couldn't wait to see her favorite grandchildren so she found us in the kitchen preparing cups of chai tea for Alex and me, cocoa for Geo and jasmine green tea for Diane. "Hello, babies," she declared as she entered the kitchen and I turned around. "Well, look at you. You look good, something looks different about you though. Are you using a new moisturizer? Bronzer? Or did you just go tanning?"

I forgot my grandma had the sixth sense that women somehow acquired over their lifetimes to sniff out a pregnant woman the moment it happened and this was her way of letting me know she knew. I looked at Alex and she smiled and nodded so I knew she was okay with me sharing our big news earlier than we had planned. But then I looked at Geo and I knew he wasn't ready. Luckily, Diane was just as intuitive as Celeste in her own way.

"Hey angel, why don't you give me a tour of the house. Nana has never been here before."

"That's right! Diane, right," Celeste asked as she took Diane's hand in hers.

"Yes. It's so nice to finally meet you. These three talk about how wonderful you are all the time."

"Yeah, I've heard you don't get along with Carol very well. Don't let it get you down, I don't think that woman likes anyone. The only good thing she did was carry the first girl born into the Chapman family in four generations. I do hope it doesn't take that long for the next to come along. Little girls are such a joy. A challenge but a joy but you know about all that," Celeste added as Alex wrapped her arm around my back, pulled me close and then kissed my temple. We beamed as we watched the exchange between the two women from where we stood by the counter.

"Yes. I wanted a boy when I was pregnant with Alex and even after she was born there were times, I was so resentful that she was a girl. My family has been mostly girls for as long as anybody knows. I thought they would love my baby and the man I loved would love my baby if it were a boy. I wanted to be special. The baby girl I got couldn't be more special, even if she has spent the past nearly four decades constantly testing everything within me."

"You did a great job with her. I'm really glad she found my Piper and that now we get to share her. She is a special woman. She's everything I wished my other grandchildren were—fearless, motivated and passionate. I got the last two with Piper, although she's certainly been more fearless since your daughter came into her life. Alex has been a great influence on her, I always wondered what it would take for my granddaughter to break free and live her truth but now I know, it was always Alex. Make yourself at home. I'm kinda out of guest rooms but I fixed up a room in the den. Let me know if you need anything at all and if my idiot daughter-in-law gives you any trouble in my house."

"Thank you, Mrs. Chapman."

"It's Celeste, honey. Etiquette school didn't exactly cover this social relationship but you are in the age range of my daughters in law so I'll treat you like another daughter. If you want me to, that is."

"I would like that. I don't know if my daughters told you but my mother rejected me for choosing to parent my child."

"They mentioned you weren't close but they never told me why. I think that's terrible. I could never reject a child. And my granddaughter has done all the top things kids get disowned over. She dated someone from a different culture and religion, she had a child out of wedlock and raised him as a single mother, came out as bisexual and then announced her intention to marry and raise children with an older woman. And every time, all I told her was how can I make this easier. I listened and supported her and realized she was still the same child running around with mud on her dress while her mom chased after her trying to put ribbons in her hair. She lost that battle every time but even after nearly thirty years still fights that unending war anyway. You are always welcome as part of this family and any functions we have. I believe there's always room for one more in a family."

"You are nothing like any other WASPy woman I've ever met, other than Piper, no offense," Diane replied exuberantly.

"None taken, dear. I didn't choose the women my two boys married and I wouldn't have picked them. I was always different. I worked after getting married and while I was pregnant with Bill's older brother because I wanted to. I would have kept working but that wasn't an option in my day. Then Piper came along after I had three grandsons and I resolved to always encourage her to be an independent, free-thinking, spirited woman who challenged gender norms. And look at her," both women looked at us with our heads nestled together and arms wrapped around each other's backs, "I'd say she's doing just that."

"She is. I never cared who my child loved as long as she didn't end up alone and having a baby young like me. I had moments where I'd see other mothers with girls who begged for dolls and all things pink while mine begged for books and clothes from the little boy's section but now those daughters are grown up and have no sense of individuality so I think I got the last laugh. Not that I'm not just as glad she came into her femininity and found an androgynous style that works for her. Well, I'm gonna let you girls talk."

"Okay, Diane," the two women hugged and then Celeste and Geo gave each other hugs and kisses. The three of us headed into the breakfast nook with our steaming mugs of tea.

"So, is there something you girls would like to tell me," Celeste asked as we sat around the table.

"It seems you already know," I declared firmly.

"Not until you say the words I don't. If you are, I would be over the moon with happiness to welcome another grandbaby. Maybe another girl? Thirty years is a long time to go without a little princess," Celeste told me with a tone full of love and encouragement as I locked ankles and grasped Alex's hand under the table.

"Yes, I am pregnant. And it's a girl."

"You don't look far along enough to know the gender."

"Well, that's a couple of years away anyway."

"Sorry, sex. It's a new world of terminology these days and I have a queer grandbaby so I have to try twice as hard. So how do you know?"

"Baby, you want to tell her," I whispered in Alex's ear and she whispered back sure.

"We did IVF with my eggs and they gave us the option to choose whether we wanted to put in a female or male embryo. And we chose girl, we have a son and want at least one of each."

"Wow, that's fascinating! I didn't even know that was possible. You will have to explain how that works. That must be so special for you two. You both get a part in the conception and pregnancy of your child."

"Yes, it is. Honestly even I didn't know it was possible until about a year ago and I'm a licensed OB who works in women's health and specializes in reproductive psychology and sex therapy. I froze my eggs when I was in my mid-thirties intending to hire a surrogate but nobody ever felt right. I'm glad I waited because the way my daughter is coming into the world is beyond perfect."

"So, do you have other embryos frozen as well?"

"Yes, and we hope to use a few more of them. We want to have four together."

"Well, that's quite the pack of kids but hey if you have the love, time and money, and I know you both do, have all the kids you want. I just don't like it when my tax money goes to support women who don't have any of the basic things a child needs but have them anyway for the free money. Now, if they have the love or fall on hard times and are working to raise themselves up that's different. But this isn't about politics. How far along are you? Couldn't be very much since I saw you drinking wine on Labor Day weekend in the Hamptons and you aren't showing at all. If it weren't for that added glow and twinkle in your eye, I wouldn't have suspected anything. Your breasts aren't even swollen yet."

"They feel more tender every time I touch them the past couple days so they are definitely starting to do something and I had to reject a bra because it was too uncomfortable when I got dressed this morning. So they are close to exploding in size. And I'm looking forward to it. Not being able to breastfeed my son was so heartbreakingly difficult. I felt like such a failure. My body struggled to carry him and ultimately couldn't carry him to term and then it couldn't feed him. I just figured it was because neither of us had much of a choice or were ready. This pregnancy is so different already."

"You couldn't be more than a few weeks."

"I'm just over five weeks now, six in a couple of days. She's due at the end of July."

"Are you excited to have a little summer baby? I don't think our family has ever had a true summer baby. You were the closest we came."

"Yes, until I remind myself I'm going to be huge and uncomfortable on my thirtieth birthday. But I'd rather have her than the rager I thought I'd have when I entered the third decade of my life. She's the greatest birthday gift I could ask for. That doesn't mean I want her coming nearly two months early, I'd rather the birthday gift of a baby kicking inside me than the gift of pushing one out. I am not looking forward to that part."

"When it's her time to be born you will be. I know I wasn't until I was both times. Have you been sick at all?"

"Not really but I'm sure Thanksgiving dinner will test my stomach."

"Well, let me know if you need me to make you anything special and we'll do plates in the kitchen so you don't have to deal with all the smells."

"What about Carol?"

"You haven't told her?"

"No. We are going to have a civil ceremony in Central Park the week before Valentine's Day, so we are going to wait until we are married to tell her about the baby. You know how she is about me having babies out of wedlock. I mean she's not going to be happy about me getting married with even a slightly swollen belly but at least this baby will be born into a marriage and we would have done things at a quicker pace but I had a son to think about and he comes even before Alex and our love. When it came down to it, waiting for the wedding was the better choice for our family. We didn't want Geo to be too old to bond with his next closest sibling."

"You don't have to explain it to me, darling. It's your family and I have to admit I would have made the same choice in your position. I will handle Carol until you have your civil ceremony on two conditions."

"What are they," I asked with genuine fear.

"You invite me to the ceremony in February, I won't tell anybody what I'm going into the City for, and you still have the big Christian ceremony. You are the only girl in this family, well I guess I can't say that for much longer, and just like your parents I always dreamt of seeing you marry the love of your life and that dream didn't die when you came out and announced your intended was a woman, it just changed a little bit."

"Alex, baby, what do you think," I asked my fiancé.

"I'm fine with that," she answered.

"Well, then that settles it but don't you girls go back on your word."

"We won't," we answered in unison.

"God, you two are so adorable, like an old married couple and teenage lovers all rolled into one," she looked at us nuzzling each other until our heads turned and lips met, "I have an idea. I still have my gown from when I married your grandfather, Piper. It would fit you perfectly. Both my son's wives told me it was too dated but I know Alex is into 1950s styles so it might compliment whatever she's wearing well. You are welcome to update it and tailor it as you wish and save it for your daughter."

"You know I did always love the lace top on that dress. Would you be okay if I dyed it? I'm interested in more of a cream or eggshell color, I don't think I can wear white with two babies running around and I don't want to either."

"I think that would look amazing, Piper. You have my blessing and you don't have to show it to me until the day of but if you want my input, I would be more than glad to give it. I have a few things on that dress I would have changed if I could. So where are you at with the planning?"

"We have a location, we are getting married at a friend of a friend's estate in Martha's Vineyard, he and his husband are in real estate financing and corporate real estate law. They started an organization to help lower-income Boston-area couples fund their dream weddings and frequently donate their home. They offered to give us the use of it in exchange for some free nonprofit consulting to help them expand their reach. We are between April or September of 2019. We want to get married when it's off-season but still nice. We have a wedding planner and I am working with a designer on my dress, I'm going for a black wedding gown, I want the dress but I live in black and I've seen a lot of pictures of them since we started talking marriage. Our friends Nicky and Lorna are going to be our maids of honor but we are still trying to round out our wedding party, we plan to have Cal and Geo in it for sure and possibly the new baby if she's up for it on the day of."

"Have you started your guest list at all?"

"No, but we want a manageable number, we're thinking somewhere around seventy-five people. We don't want to do the ceremony and reception as separate invites but I'm sure Carol will think otherwise and try to invite the whole country club. They're already having an engagement party on December 29th," I answered.

"Do you have an idea of the theme or colors?"

"It depends on if we go for spring or summer as far as colors. We don't want anything overly formal and are leaning towards a buffet, our young kids are going to be running around so we want it to be kid-friendly and not stuffy."

"And I wouldn't expect the two of you to have a stuffy wedding either. So, Alex, are you planning on hiding your tattoos or showing them?"

"I'm planning on designing my dress so it has a removable lace covering on top, so I can either cover them or not depending on how I feel and the weather the day of."

"Well, I think that's very smart. You girls have great heads on your shoulders," Celeste said as Diane and Geo walked into the room.

"Are we talking about the same girls? Cause you wouldn't be saying that if you had caught them dry humping with their clothes on and making out like eighth-graders in the hall between classes," Diane asserted.

"They are in love and it has to be tough to go through their honeymoon period as a couple as an instant family. They are doing a great job in a less than ideal situation, a perfect job, no but they are doing good. And if you had seen how she and Larry were then you would be grateful to see her like this. She is making a good home for her child."

"I know just sometimes they are boneheads."

"Yeah I know but I love them and I'm glad my great-grandson has another parent in his life and gets to see his mother in a loving, healthy relationship."

"I love them too. I should get the food from the car."

"I'll help you. Geo, you wanna earn some candy," Celeste asked our son.

"You hads gummy beaws?"

"You have a new favorite?"

"Nana gidds me dem. She use gidd dem to Momma win she wad li'le wike me!"

"I don't but we can go get some and now that I know I'll make sure Gigi always has them at her house, okay?"

"Okay. I hep."

"Do you need me to help," Alex asked as she pushed her chair back with her foot.

"That's okay, baby. You just spend some time with your partner, she could probably use a massage about now. We'll keep Geo occupied and finish cooking and call you when everyone else gets here."

"That would be nice. We could both use some couple time. We haven't had time to connect and talk just us since we found out about the you know what. We went to breakfast that morning but it hadn't even begun to sink in."

"Well, go on then. You know where your room is, Piper."

"Thanks for everything, Grandma. You are the coolest."

"I just love my little princess and she can do no wrong, ever. You'll know soon enough. I've held both and there's nothing like holding your newborn daughter and you are the daughter I wish I could have had," she told me as I got up and embraced her before the three of them and two of us went our separate ways.


	46. Chapter 46

As we walked into Red's restaurant and Geo went running while he screamed, "babushka," at the top of his lungs, I couldn't believe that it had been a year already since the night I officially was welcomed as part of Alex's family of choice. That night had been so magical. It had confirmed that Alex was the woman I thought she was, my forever and the other parent Geo desperately needed in his life. That night was why I was here in a loose sweater and unbuttoned grey slacks when I would rather be resting on the toilet bowl in between waves of nausea. It had taken six and a half weeks for the nausea to arrive but once it did, it did so with a vengeance. Luckily, the one thing that seemed to settle our daughter was when I was out for a run. Since getting pregnant, once I got my shit together enough to put on workout clothes I could run farther and faster than I had since I was twelve and all I cared about was running. Sometimes I would hang out in the house all day long in my running clothes in an attempt to trick our daughter into thinking I was going for a run so she would behave and I could go a couple of hours without feeling queasy. Everyone's heads turned when they heard Geo and looked for the mothers he was attached to and their shock at seeing me after seeing me once, maybe twice, since the Monday after Thanksgiving three and a half weeks ago.

"Hey, Chapman, you do exist," Nicky hollered from across the restaurant, "What you no longer need to come for a little afternoon delight now that you have her ring on your finger?"

"I've had a little tummy bug since Thanksgiving."

"For like three weeks?"

"It hasn't been that long has it?"

"Yeah it has, you asshole, you used to be so sweet now you are like Alex but more annoying because you think you are so cute and perfect. It's been ten days since we all spent the afternoon skating and seeing Santa, neither of which you participated in. You refused to skate, even when Alex and I were being our klutzy selves and Lorna was looking like the next Olympic ice dancer. And you disappeared for like half an hour while we were waiting to see Santa, which would have been typical except Vause wasn't with you. Then at lunch, you were all excited to get your food but once it arrived you barely took two bites before spending the rest of our lunch finishing off the breadbasket, twice. Then you ended up in the bathroom for like fifteen minutes. I know you're getting married soon and your inner straight girl is coming out but you don't have to resort to bulimia."

"I don't have an eating disorder! Even at the height of my athletic career I didn't do that shit, mostly because my coach benched girls for that. Having a drunken threesome with the top runner from the rival team the night before the final day of State was fine by her, it was harmless high school fun, but bulimia was where she drew the line."

"You know a threesome is usually three people and you only mentioned two chicks. So was number three a guy who hit the jackpot, we all know you aren't full lez, even if you are the butch one in your relationship."

"I am not! Just because I was an elite athlete and I don't wear makeup or a bra unless I have to does not make me butch! And it was with the girl I was hanging out with at the time. We didn't really do anything, just made out and rubbed body parts against each other. We didn't know what girls did together, just that girls made us feel all tingly. We had all been with boys but none of us knew how to have sex without an erect penis in the room."

"Well, the truth comes out. I knew Vause couldn't be your first. Nobody can handle all that woman right out the gates without a little clandestine practice. Guess you figured it out now. I'm still not convinced you aren't binging and purging. You're a pain in the ass but you've kinda grown on me, Chapman, and I care for you." Alex gave both of us a cross-eyed glare that screamed do you have to talk about this in front of the whole group?

"C'mon Nicky, do I look like I've lost weight recently to you?"

"Well, you are looking a bit chubbier in the face and it seems every time I see you, your clothes are a little baggier but that's also not out of the ordinary. If I had full use of Vause's credit cards I wouldn't be buying clothes that are too big and look like they came from a thrift store," Nicky replied as Alex shot her a glare that could summon a beast from the deepest reaches of hell, "I'll never get the whole SoHo Bohemian hipster thing. I see it plenty living in a Tribeca loft but I don't get why anyone would spend thousands on clothes that look like something I woulda picked out of the dumpster in my junkie days." Meanwhile, I was trying to find something to distract myself from watching my fiancé strangle her best friend who was like an annoying little sister to her I noticed Red looking at me knowingly.

"Kukolka, come help me bring out the appetizers," the Russian lady not so much asked as commanded but after a year with Alex I was used to questions that were little more than not so thinly veiled commands. I kissed Alex and told her, "Go easy on Nicky. It's not like she said anything that wasn't true. Maybe we should tell them tonight. I think our work family is onto us, anyway." Alex kissed my ear, an action only I knew was her unspoken way of telling me to go ahead when we were in public. I followed Red, who seemed to walk a little slower every time I saw her but tonight, I was fine with that. I had spent a long day trying to finish our Christmas cards and Geo's Winter Recital snowman costume and was exhausted with little to show for myself.

"Let me look at you," she exclaimed as she closed the door to her office at the very edge of the kitchen and then touched the sides of my belly. Unlike with my first pregnancy, I already had a discernable baby bump, it was tiny but definitely not the aftereffect of a large lunch either. "Lift your shirt," she commanded and I did as I was told although I made it clear that I didn't want to. My hands involuntarily went to cup either side of my bump, one above and the other below as the one above rubbed it lovingly. "I knew it and obviously you are enamored with your little one."

I smiled at my tiny bump, "Yeah, although I'm starting to question whether it is just one but I haven't said anything to Alex, I don't know which side of her I would get and either one is gonna freak out. Don't tell her, I've decided to keep it to myself. It'll be confirmed one way or another soon enough and I'm not even sure what I want. I liked the idea of having twins eventually, just I thought it would be down the line a little way."

"Well, it is your second and you are going to show quicker, things are already loose and the body knows what to do. The body already knows what to do. Sounds like this one has been making you pretty sick and exhausted if you haven't been at work."

"Yeah, I was fine until about six and a half weeks. I thought maybe morning sickness would just pass over me like it had with Geo. I got sick a couple of times towards the end of my first trimester with him and nausea was always followed with vomiting and then I could go about the day but this time I'm queasy all the time, except for when I'm working out. Can winter air and snow be cravings because this baby is only happy when I'm outside."

"Every baby is different. So how far along are you? Does anybody know?"

"Almost nine weeks. No, we were hoping to keep this baby a secret until after our civil ceremony the week before Valentine's Day. Geo doesn't know yet. The only people who do are my grandmother and Diane, other than Alex and a few doctors at NYU, the medical director of the reproductive psychiatry department, my OB and Carmen. But it doesn't seem like this baby likes being a secret. It's crazy to think I didn't even suspect I was pregnant with Geo until I was ten weeks along, if he had been like this there's no way I would have not known."

"I don't think you are that big for being so far into your first trimester, this baby is probably just gonna be bigger. It has a different father and that can change everything."

"It doesn't just have a different father, actually it doesn't have one at all. We used an identity release donor from a sperm bank."

"What do you mean? But it's in your belly, who else could it's mother be?"

I turned my eyes towards the dining room, "Who do you think?"

"Alex? But how?"

"She froze her eggs a few years ago and one of the embryos she created is now growing in my uterus."

"No wonder, you're bigger; you have a baby Sasquatch growing in your belly. So it's kinda like surrogacy, then?"

"Not really, our baby is still ours just we both participated in the biological aspect of bringing her into the world, Alex is the genetic mother and I'm the gestational one, it feels so perfect. I thought only people who were jealous of my woman and Nicky called her that," I exclaimed, "And I happen to like every inch of her and I'm the one constantly asking her to wear heels because I'm-"

"Please don't explain. I've seen enough of you two and how Alex's style has changed since you two met to know what you're personal preferences are."

"Do you blame me? I was never into femmey looking girls, I always hated women who spent more time in the bathroom than I do but then I saw Alex in a curve-hugging evening gown and heels with perfectly curled flowing raven locks and full makeup and I didn't think I could fall more in love with her but that moment I felt like I was in some kind of a cartoon where the anthropomorphized animal's heart beats a foot out of its chest. I totally like Alex's brand of femme appearing badass chick style, okay slightly more than like," I added when Red glared at me impatiently.

"Alex is a very beautiful woman, everybody calls her Sasquatch and she is but she makes a unique look work for her. It wouldn't work for everyone but for her, it works. I'm happy for you. If you want to wait for a little to tell Geo I can always take him in the back and let him help me start the pastries for the morning."

"We want him to have one last Christmas that is just his."

"I felt the same way when I had my second son. Congratulations! And I'll bring you some chicken and rice, just don't complain that it's bland. Spices will only make the sickness worse."

"I would never complain about your food, Red. I might have to try the baby on some desserts whether they want to or not because Mommy loves that one cake you make."

"Maybe you'll find some food the baby likes and then you'll have to come to my restaurant every day. Maybe this little one will fall in love with sweet things and find them completely irresistible like her Momma did."

"Did you just compliment me? And in such a syrupy way too."

"Yeah but don't let anybody know."

"I'm used to helping stoic, powerful women maintain their steely reputation, I am the future Mrs. Vause after all. And I've learned that women who hide their vulnerability do it because they are too precious for the horrid place they were planted. Neither of you got dealt the greatest cards in life but you are both doing amazing things and you pour so much love into everything you do. Your secret is safe with me."

"And yours is safe with me, moye ditya," she responded lovingly as she drew me into a hug, "and if you need any help let me know."

"You think you can take Geo one night this week? He's started doing slumber parties the past couple of months and he's done well. We need to get our cards out soon if we are going to get them to people before Christmas. And we've been so busy and I've been so sick that we haven't had much, uh, quality alone time to be a couple and I'm starting to miss it. I'm still sick as a dog but my urges are finally returning. I think I've been worried I'd get down there and-"

"If I say yes, will you find someone else to talk about your sex issues with?"

"But it's so hard when they involve the preeminent lesbian sex therapist in the world," I asserted with a touch of sarcasm.

"Well, guess you should've thought of that before you hopped into bed with her and let her put her baby in you. Maybe you shouldn't have rushed things. You're young and she's younger than she thinks she is, you both have time. But I guess I can't get on you for that, it's not like I considered how it would impact my relationship with my son's father. I just hope your ending is better than ours," Red told me. She reached her arms around me again when she saw the pained look on my face, "And I know it will," she whispered as I started crying on her shoulder, "Shhh, lyubov."

"Suh-sss-orry. Huh-ormoes," I said through sobs.

"Believe me, I understand. The curse of womanhood, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. At least it's Christmas so if you start bawling out of nowhere over the way a leaf falls or something equally minuscule everybody just thinks you are caught up in nostalgia. I just sit on the couch and watch these corny romance made for TV movies and cry. This time I actually have someone who would be there for me but sometimes I worry about telling her how emotionally out of control this pregnancy is making me and just how sick I am, she's so used to pregnancy as a pathological condition in need of a highly trained specialist, she trained in high-risk obstetrics and reproductive pathology, and so far nothing is happening that I think is completely out of the norm. I've had friends who have had hyperemesis and this isn't it because I'm not throwing up, I wish I were because I know I would feel better if I did. I'm just tired, nauseous and weepy, the only thing out of the ordinary is this belly but both parents are tall and muscular with broad shoulders so maybe this baby is just bigger than average like their biological parents. Besides, we had an ultrasound at five weeks and there was only one baby."

"When's your next appointment?"

"Tuesday afternoon, we have an ultrasound at 10 and appointment at 2."

"Well, just try to relax. Maybe get a nice couple's massage and go to dinner with Alex, Nicky can pick Geo up from school and bring him over here and we can spend the weekend together, pick him up whenever you want on Sunday. I can't say Nicky won't have a date, not that she'd call what she's doing dating since they aren't, in her words, fucking, but I'm done with men. They have all outlived their purpose with one notable exception."

"Yeah, I hear you. Other than my brother, Geo and a few of Alex's male friends I could live without the species. They just don't intrigue me like they used to, Alex is so much more exciting. I feel like even if I was with her until the end of time there would still be more to learn about this enigmatic creature who adores me and is the best lover I could ever have."

"Well, you are lucky then. Not everybody gets to find their soulmate, everybody has one, just not everybody finds theirs. Before you pity those like me who don't, we find our joy in other ways. I find it through the girls I rescue from the streets and sharing my heritage with the citizens of the city that gave me so much when I had so little. Now go on back out there, Piper. I'm sure that woman of yours is wondering where her better half went scurrying off to with her baby inside her. If she mistreats me let me know and I'll set her straight."

"Then I'd have to become a guy and I'm really into being a girl," I responded sarcastically.

"I thought the problem with that would be her taking a dick," Red retorted as I walked away without a response as visions of Alex and me fucking with nothing but a double-sided dildo between us and I could feel that buzzing and tightness between my legs and I knew I wouldn't be able to wait. Especially once I saw Alex in her dress, it would have been perfect if she had been packing but I knew she wasn't. I also knew we could make do. I grabbed her hand the second I saw Geo busy playing cars with Jamila's nephew and the two little girls, six and eleven, Artemis had added to the family over the past year while Jack watched over the kids at a separate table. We hadn't told him to but he had offered and he loved babysitting so we figured that way the adults could enjoy themselves and not worry.

"Where are we going?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Where is this coming from," she asked as we arrived outside the tiny single-stall bathroom by the dry storage room. You sure you want to go in here? It's not like there isn't a perfectly good room with a vat of coconut oil at our disposal. We don't have to fuck in a bathroom."

"But I like it. And I'm so wet right now. I need something to tide me over until we get home."

"You are just a kinky little thing, aren't you? Is there any kink you aren't into?"

"Strangulation. Two girls one cup shit."

"You mention that and I might lose my girl-boner permanently."

"You've been wanting it? Why didn't you say something?"

"I'm not that much of an asshole to force my wet pussy on the chick I knocked up and I'm not a cheater, I've been cheated on but never cheated on anyone. I had sex with multiple women who caught feelings afterward no matter how clear I was about my boundaries. So, I put my energy into my students, employees and our very real child on earth. Pipes, can we talk about that later though because I'm starting to remember I caught more than feelings from sleeping with you," Alex looked forlorn as I reminded her of the baby who was currently using her absolute control on my hormones to make my sexual needs run on overdrive, "You think you are going to hurt it, don't you?"

"Um…it's just I love you and her and I don't want to do anything to risk not getting to meet my daughter. I've loved this child for six years, I've dreamed of her and she's been what propelled me to get my shit together and be the mother she deserved and if I lost her I don't know how I would survive. I didn't expect to love her this much this fast," I pulled Alex into the bathroom and locked the door as I took her glasses off and set them behind the taps of the sink then drew the emotional tornado I loved into my arms.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt like this?"

"I didn't want to burden you or add to your stress. I know you can get more than a little OCD sometimes when you think you have to do something perfectly. You think I don't know how sick you've been or how many boxes of Kleenexes you've gone through and don't try to convince me Geo has been bringing germs home from school, you practically follow that kid around with hand sanitizer and douse him with it at every available opportunity, besides, you know how easily I get sick and what I turn into when I do."

"Yes, a whiny baby asking for death and when I refuse you slap my ass and say, 'can I have some chamomile tea and my little spoon then,'" I asserted in mock anger.

"Yeah, you seem like you really hate it. I'm sorry I haven't been coming to you with my feelings, we're both on our own journeys when it comes to this baby and it's easy to forget that we are also on a journey together. I thought I'd be raising this baby alone and mentally that was what I was prepared for but I like it better this way even if it does scare me to no end every moment of every day. Every time the phone rings when I'm at work there's this moment where I freak out because I'm certain you're calling me from somewhere telling me you're bleeding from down there," Alex said through sobs as she grabbed my shirt.

"Did you just call it down there? You the woman who hates euphemisms for body sex-related parts and their functions?"

"Yeah because thinking of the body parts and that happening is too scary and I'm worried if I put the words out there then it'll happen," Alex sputtered as her head buried deeper into my swollen breasts and my tender nipples became painfully aroused from the proximity of her mouth and my hands running up and down her back, stopping closer to her butt with each swipe. I could feel her diaphragm heaving against mine and as much as I knew that the woman in Alex needed comfort I knew I needed the sex beast before I tumbled over the edge into a dark, unending abyss without her.

"You crying on my tits shouldn't be this hot."

"You having tits big and soft enough for me to nestle my head into shouldn't be this hot," Alex responded with a hint of a smile and as much of her trademark sarcasm as she could muster in her weakened state.

"I'm having your baby, I don't think it's wrong to find the changes that it's doing to my body alluring as long as you don't get wet for other pregnant women's changing bodies. And I'm glad you like my new tits. Larry never wanted to see them and he definitely wasn't putting his mouth anywhere near them."

"Yeah, I've told plenty of straight guys who ask me for advice when they find out what I do and I always tell them not to neglect their woman's tits. Like they are literally right in front of you and it makes her feel good."

"Unfortunately, those men control the media and send women messages that their tits aren't an erogenous zone, that they are purely for reproduction. I'd like one of them to explain to me then why they are the most visible marker of a woman's arousal."

"I can't wait to get you home. We should see if somebody wants to take Geo on Friday, I want to take you for prime rib if your stomach can handle it."

"Well, Red offered and she's already volunteered Nicky to help and you know she never gives her favorite child a choice."

"I thought you were her favorite," Alex exclaimed as she looked up at me through tear-stained eyes and I tried to wipe away her tears without causing too much damage to her makeup.

"Red knows the only person she could lose in a deathmatch to would be Diane Vause and I'm her favorite and Red knows it. Do we still have time," I asked flirtatiously.

"God, you are insatiable," Alex squirmed a hand out of our embrace and ran her hand down my belly and easily disappeared into my pants, then my red lace thong and found my clit, "How much longer do you think you can keep wearing these?"

"As long as you bring me home lacy panties that fit."

"I shall scour all the kingdoms for your noble request, my lady. We may have to buy you some sexy bras to show those tits off while you still have them."

"You just want to watch me try on lingerie," I exclaimed daringly.

"And, your point," Alex's icy, commanding glare shot into my gaze but I was immune to it so I smiled my seductive smile that killed Alex every time and teased, "You like me, you think I'm seeexxxyyy."

"What can I say, pregnancy looks good on you. Just babe, don't confuse what we are for where we started. I'm in this with you as your partner, I leave Dr. Vause at the office. I like coming home and being Momma or Smooshy depending on who needs me most at the moment."

"But what if I require the services of my personal physician?"

"Call the nurses line like everybody else."

"You'd trust the health of your partner and unborn child to some nurse who couldn't get a real nursing job so they went into telemedicine?"

"They aren't that bad," Alex kidded before I shot her my best Vause-style glare, "I was kidding. I'm always here for you, stinky butt, and you will always be the craziest, neediest mother in New York. Now be a good girl and cum for me," she hissed as she quickened her pace on my clit and started rubbing circles as my gasps became louder and breathier until I grabbed her wrist as I pivoted my hips and pushed her fingers into my warm, wet cunt until she found her way inside while her thumb kept up its ministrations on my clit and she used her other hand to pull me into a smoldering kiss as my hand worked its way under her dress, pushed her black thong aside and played her like a symphony, hitting every note perfectly as I wondrously unraveled her melodious orgasm and we both came hard around each other's fingers. When we pulled out of each other's centers we held our cum-covered fingers up to the other one's lips like we had planned it that way.

"Mmmm, I'm definitely saving room for more of that later. Did you? Was it?"

"You were positively delectable as always, a little stronger than normal but I liked it. I could still make three meals a day out of you and be a happy woman. I've been having some fantasies lately."

"Co-starring me right," I retorted with my classic don't you dare breathe on the same planet jealousy.

"Of course. You know you are the only girl I want. And what I want is a perfect view of those darkened nipples and swollen belly as you ride my cock until your pussy is so raw you surrender to my supreme sexual prowess and I have my hands supporting your bump and back as you give into your raw carnal needs."

"And I massage your breasts because I know it makes you go wild when I'm in that position and do that, especially when I lean in perfectly so our clits rub against each other."

"If you can manage that position in your third trimester you are a freak of nature," Alex responded and I looked at her questioningly, "Is that a challenge, Al? Because you know how I feel about those." Alex started to respond but we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I know you are not having sex in my bathroom like you own the place," Red hollered out the door.

I giggled and declared with all the maturity of a first-grader, "We're bustteedd. Red sounds like Carol."

"Oh, c'mon babe you know Carol has no idea sex can occur anywhere but a bed," Alex responded as she snaked her hand up my sweater to my still aroused breast, "Besides how many times have I bailed you out now? I might as well own the place."

"Do it swinging from the chandelier, just don't do it in my restaurant, even if it is closed," Red yelled as she unlocked the door with her master key and was surprised to find us fully clothed, "Nicky's right, you two do it like animals and about as fast too."

"What can I say, we know each other well," she responded coolly as she pulled my side against her front and kissed my head, "And we are two working moms with a toddler in a fairly new relationship, we've had to figure things out faster than most."

"And you've done better than anyone I've seen. Come enjoy your party and be good hosts, this is your party, not mine," Red responded in a rare moment of tenderness.

"Piper told me you offered to take Geo for the weekend," Alex told her as the two of us finally left the bathroom.

"Well, not if I have to fumigate my bathroom tomorrow cause you two forgot you had two homes."

"Technically three," Alex fired back and I pulled her back a little because I knew she was done for but also that Red wouldn't strike a pregnant woman so I threw myself in front of my smartass future wife.

"Watch your mouth, child. And you, ridiculous little thing, protecting your woman because you know she fucked up. I thought you had more balls than that, Vause. Letting a woman in a delicate condition fight your battles for you. Ah, young love."

"I'm almost forty," Alex asserted.

"Doesn't mean you two aren't heading towards a lifetime of loving each other like a couple of little puppies."

"Yeah, Al, we'll be like those old couples that eat soup and walk hand in hand to the ass doctor for colonoscopies. Argue about the Times crossword and when the kids said they were bringing the grandkids over. And everyone will wonder how two old ladies could still be so deeply in love."

"Once they figure out that we are in fact two old ladies in love and not just two feeble old biddies sharing expenses."

"I think they'll figure us out when they see us molesting fruit in the produce department and giggling like children who just discovered what boobs feel like," I teasingly told Alex as I gathered up a handful of her breast and squeezed gently while her bottom lip trembled slightly.

"God, you two are weird. But what do I know about love? And I've never seen my Alex so happy. Come, we'll have a toast," Alex and I followed Red, I walked a few paces ahead because I was still nervous that she was going to slaughter the love of my life but she didn't. We slid into the edge of the booth, Alex first and me on the end after a wink, knowing smile and nudge from her. We spent the next hour and a half talking and laughing before Red brought out dessert and one more round of vodka for everyone else and a cranberry juice with mint for me that did wonders to settle my stomach. Everyone went around the table and said one thing they were grateful for and one goal for the new year while Red took the kids to the kitchen and showed them how pastries were made. Alex went first, "I know I'm a broken record but I could never be more grateful of anything or anyone than I am of my sweetheart and my goal is to wife her up and continue to be the supportive partner she needs so we can both be our truest, best selves. I love you with all my heart, babe," I watched as the girls all swooned and Alex's eyes became glassy. I placed my hands on her jaw and slid them towards her ears and drew her in for a tender kiss as I assume the rest shared something on topic.

"Hey, is this like when you were in high school and your teachers were dating and gave you an assignment before visiting each other but then forgot about it so nobody did it and everybody got an A," Nicky teased.

"Think of it as good job security, Nicky," I replied as I begrudgingly pulled away from Alex.

"Whatever. I'm kinda glad Lorna isn't into all that PDA stuff."

"Yeah cause you are dating a straight woman, oh sorry heteroflexible is what she's calling herself now," Alex fired back, "Babe, I think it was your turn. What are you grateful for? Your shiny new castle? Your roomy new chariot?"

"Nope," I smiled at Alex and waited until she realized what I was thinking, helped by me secretly placing her hand on my belly under the table until I felt her softly kiss my cheek and smile with flushed cheeks, "The little bean who has been keeping me from seeing your sorry faces the past few weeks."

"You're not," the girls all cried in near perfect unison. Alex pushed up my sweater to show the tiny bump that was a little larger thanks to eating my dinner and half of Alex's before Red brought me a plate of my own and I ate that too.

"Almost nine weeks! We're due in July," Alex exclaimed proudly.

"Don't know what you're so proud about, Vause," Nicky responded sarcastically, "Not like you put the little womb monster in her."

"Shut up, Nicky," Alex yelled commandingly.

"So, I'm guessing barefoot and pregnant will be too busy at home on her hands and knees between cleaning and puking to come in for the next year," Nicky asked drunkenly as Alex slapped her hard across the mouth.

"Piper will come when she feels up to it and for major Foundation meetings. She's the bearer of our children and my lover before she's anything else."

"Actually, wouldn't she be your lover first then the bearer of your children? I know we're lesbians and all but I thought sex made babies even if you are shooting blanks. Cause I've seen what all the girls go crazy for and I don't get it," Nicky teased but this time it was Red who slapped her on the head. "I don't care how you talk amongst the two of you in public but you will not be crass in my restaurant. Remember, Bubala, it is the only thing in the world I love more than you. And I think it's sweet that she puts her children ahead of all else. If only more partners were like that this world wouldn't have any divorce lawyers left."

"They'd still have some for when the child-bearer wants to be seen as a sexual being but the partner can't," I passionately argued as I felt a soothing hand rubbing my spine and realized what I had said. I whispered to Alex, "I didn't. I guess."

"Old wounds, babe," she replied in a hushed tone as she ran the pad of her thumb across my cheek and I slowly started nodding off on her shoulder. "I think I should get this one home. She's making a miniature Alex Vause and that's not an easy task for such a skinny, tomboyish thing like her sweet self." I gave her a look that to everyone else looked sweet and romantic but was really my way of admonishing her in public without getting in trouble for it. I knew what she had said about how she couldn't wait to see me filled out until I looked like I could pop at any moment, the juxtaposition of being full of hunger while her baby weighed heavy and low inside me. I could feel the desperation on my end and exasperation on hers as she reminded me that she had filled me as much as she ever possibly could. Alex gathered up our coats and son then we headed to the car and I drove us home. That night, for the first time, Alex lit soothing candles lovingly rubbed my belly with coconut oil and an organic belly butter then gently rubbed oil and organic nipple cream on my breasts before opening my legs and taking all I had to give her, licking slowly and softly as she looked up periodically to make sure she was being gentle enough until she unfolded a series of orgasms with her tongue on my clit and one of our smaller dildos shoved deep inside me as my walls clamped around the toy and her hands rubbed my nipples, it was a rare full-body experience and one that she was rewarded for when liquid came shooting out powerfully as I lost control of my senses. I was certain I'd be explaining the birds and the birds to Geo in the morning but in that moment nothing else mattered except how amazingly lucky Alex made me feel. When I was certain the tides had subsided, I pulled Alex up, letting her stop to kiss my belly before bringing her lips to mine as she laid next to me and rested her head over my galloping heart. I pulled a heavy quilt over us and let Alex stay in her moment of vulnerability as I took in the finest details of her face and I wondered what features the daughter growing inside would have from her. Round face? Long eyelashes? Would she need Coke bottle glasses from an early age to see anything too? Would she have the donor's flaming red hair like I knew Alex wanted or maybe a more subdued strawberry blonde like I hoped for. Would she inherit both recessives for curly hair and have the same curls I loved so much about my first child, except without the mix of textures? The questions kept me awake long past the point of exhaustion but eventually, I succumbed to sleep and joined the rest of my family in dreamland.

**A/N: So what do you guys think...do you want to see this version of Vauseman with identical twins or do you want to see them have one baby their first pregnancy together? I know their last pregnancy is fraternal twins but I keep going back and forth about them having a set of twin girls as well so I'm leaving it to you guys. And yes Nichorello are now a couple and Lorna has introduced Nicky to her family but they still haven't consummated their relationship, although it's coming up very soon.**


	47. Chapter 47

I kept telling myself five more minutes as I stood in the warm shower feeling the water stream over my swollen body and soothe the muscles and ligaments that I felt stretch a little more with each passing day. It was finally date night, our first since just before we flew to Los Angeles for our embryo transfer. I was so lost in imagining what fifteen year old or even twenty-five-year-old Piper Chapman would have thought about my life now as I rubbed my hand along my bump and slowly snaked my hand between my legs, looking down at my blossoming body and the rock on my finger.

Fifteen-year-old Piper who never wanted children and had slightly more than a passing interest in dating period, the girl who was desperate not to be the last to have sex after being the last of her friends to experience puberty. She remembered how viciously girls had teased her during PE until she made the varsity track team and got into the special last period athletic PE. She had been so excited to transfer from normal PE, she was certain all her problems would be over but it only made her aware of another problem as the mostly seventeen-year-old girls walked around the locker room looking very much like women and the more grown they looked the harder it was to take her eyes off them. At first, she had thought it was normal teenage girl envy considering puberty hadn't done much for her but bring her wicked cramps and bloody underwear. Piper had wanted so badly to be one of those girls who returned over the summer having gained two cup sizes and to have womanly curves but as she poured everything she had into turning her body into a machine that would get her the attention of athletic scouts she had come to accept her body had a different purpose. She had by now learned that unless you were a cheerleader spouting anything larger than a B cup typically meant the end of your athletic career. She was meant for a certain self-propulsion and perfection few humans, regardless of their sex, were capable of. Being the only underclassman on the varsity team and the one the coach was already fielding recruiters from prestigious boarding schools for had made her feel pride and love for her body for the first time in her life. Right or wrong, those girls began to notice her slightly bronzed skin and muscular thighs with a hunger she was used to seeing when guys looked at her bustier, more conventionally beautiful friends who were only interested in getting sweaty if it involved a hot boy. What could they possibly see in her boyish frame and pink lipgloss? Turns out, girls thought she was a total catch the way she wished that boys would.

One boy did think she was a catch, no boy had ever given her the sort of attention Larry had when she was twenty-two and new to the City, he was twenty-one and still had a boyish awkwardness that matched her girlish naivete perfectly. At twenty-five, she thought her life was over when she was left alone with a body that had failed him three times, she had failed to take responsibility for her fertility and then she had failed to keep his son inside her body for long enough or grow him big enough and once he arrived her breasts failed to make enough milk to sustain the growing boy. Now she knew none of that was her fault but back then she had truly believed otherwise, even with her six years of going to all-girls schools between the prestigious boarding school she got an athletic scholarship to junior year and the one she had gotten to attend Smith. She thought for certain the undersized, colicky son with feeding issues and breasts that barely produced enough milk to pump for him were her punishment for her body and brain failing to be like that of most girls. She had given into her desire for older, more mature bodies and the power they possessed. She had chosen to prioritize making her growing body fit and trim enough to be an elite runner over ensuring it developed into the source of masculine desire and maternity. Now, at twenty-nine, she loved everything about her body and life as unimaginable as any part of it would have been to a younger, more scared version of herself. She had self-acceptance and a body that was doing something that would have astounded an adolescent or young adult Piper, she was carrying the baby of the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. The woman who told her she was perfect and always knew how to make her feel like the sexiest, best looking girl in the world. I was the luckiest girl alive because she had chosen me to be her lover and carry her children when she could have any female she wanted and probably any man too if she weren't one hundred percent gay. I loosely wrapped myself in a towel since I assumed I was still alone in the house but the hungry green orbs that met my body and scanned the stretched and swollen spots with lascivious desire made it clear if I dared to take another step into our bedroom I'd find myself underneath a raven-haired woman in a black Armani suit and strappy black and silver Louboutin heels that I couldn't take my eyes off of.

"Don't worry, babe, I got you a pair of your own. How about you come over here and earn them? And I got you a gorgeous off the shoulder black lace dress and white faux fur shawl to wear tonight. But I must say I'm a little disappointed that you failed to notice how good my tits look in this suit or other things," she teased as she directed her eyes to the bulge in her pants and then towards my hips that had become wider and ass that was becoming thicker over the past week until I felt trembling between my thighs as I realized what she had planned for tonight.

"Well somebody's happy to see me. Can I unwrap it now or do I have to wait till Christmas?"

"You can unwrap it as soon as you accept my conditions."

"Which are," I asked as she reached over and grabbed a purple lace bra and panty set, the cups looked like they were size C and I looked at it with trepidation because there was no way I was that big already.

"What don't think it'll fit? Don't think I know how to tell a woman's cup size by touch and appearance alone? You also have to wear this," she pulled out a tiny bullet vibrator and I knew tucked somewhere, likely the pocket of her underwear was a remote control that could make my night both embarrassing and painful.

"I couldn't. It's extra sensitive down there."

"Small price to pay for getting to see your two favorite things tonight, big tits and a hard cock waiting for your mouth to make them feel good. And you're having my baby, I won't turn it up too high. As long as you behave, I'll be nice. Now if you require some clicker training to work on avoiding outside stimuli then that's on you. And you know the word to stop our playtime and remind me that you aren't just my somewhat well-trained pet."

"Yeah, I'm having your puppy."

"Yes, as pets tend to do when they have an especially good pedigree and possess an exceptionally fertile body."

"I wouldn't say I'm exceptionally fertile."

"You got knocked up by a boy with a cocktail weenie who you've told me took forever to get hard, which I don't understand how anyone could look at you and not get hard cause I feel my dick doing things it shouldn't have the capability to do. I just want to unzip these pants and take you before you can even get out of your towel."

"Guess it's a good thing I was just touching myself in the shower and my libido is finally returning. Tonight is the perfect night for a night alone, I'm feeling so sensual this afternoon."

"You look it too. You have this ethereal glow about you that my male colleagues used to tell me about when their wives were pregnant. I acted like I hated hearing about it but really I was jealous that I'd never get to know what it felt to watch the woman I love grow big from my child inside her. I wanted to know what it would feel like to come to work and say my wife was pregnant with our child, hell I woulda settled for showing up to work with my tail between my legs whispering that some chick I fucked once when we were drunk and high and swore I used a condom says she's pregnant and it's mine at a certain point. And now that I got my lover pregnant with my baby, I can't wait to shout it from the rooftops."

"Remember how when we were still making plans for this, we swore we wouldn't tell anybody about our children's genetic makeup until they were old enough to ask questions or at least until I birthed a baby or two that looked nothing like me?"

"Ah, we were such fools then. It wasn't even that long ago but it seems like a lifetime ago."

"I know. We can't stop telling people how this baby came to exist and I don't think we should. We haven't had a bad reaction yet and if we do then we don't need that kind of negativity in our lives or our children's lives. I was just thinking about what a younger version of me would think about me with a huge rock on my finger and my body swelling from my female lover's baby growing inside me, what part she'd find most unbelievable."

"Oh you know it would be that you got knocked up on purpose. You falling in love with someone wealthy and powerful was a definite, that person also happening to possess a large set of tits and an even larger collection of silicone dicks was bound to happen. You are the gayest bisexual woman I've ever met."

"What just because I prefer women and hate everything most girls are into? I'd rather talk about my run time or professional accomplishments, is that so wrong?"

"I love a woman with some drive and a certain thirst that makes me thirsty. Now come," she reached over and pulled me on top of her and I started rubbing against her pants as my towel fell off. She nibbled at my neck and planted kisses on my lips as her hands rested on my back and smoothed along my pregnancy-induced curves until with no warning, she flipped me on my back and dipped her head between my legs. As amazing as her tongue dragging through my folds and mouth sucking my extra tender clit into her mouth like she knew the perfect pressure so as not to overwhelm me or cause undesirable pain, I had been looking forward to the moment where I heard the zipper and felt the cause for her extra bulge pressing against my center until I felt myself stretch around her thrusts but I knew she was playing the long game tonight. I wasn't going to complain that my fiancé came home from work early with carnal needs of her own but put mine first. I had a rich lover who ate my pussy without me having to ask and so I laid there and enjoyed it, I took her hand and put it on my breast then showed her how I wanted her to massage it by guiding her until she took over. Moments later, I was screaming at the top of my lungs that I was cumming as my core tightened as much as it could and I struggled for air as my body felt impossibly tight. After a few soothing licks, Alex planted a series of kisses on my swollen yet taut abdomen and it felt beyond amazing to feel how much reverence she had for my body and all the things it did for her. I felt the tears roll down and my diaphragm begin to heave as out of nowhere I was overtaken by emotion. I hoped Alex wouldn't think she hurt me when, in fact, she had done the exact opposite and it had overloaded the extra estrogen coursing through my body.

"Shh, shhh. Baby, it's okay," I felt her hands still coated in my arousal against my cheek and my hands tightened around her as I wept unceasingly and she rested her head on my chest as my cheek fell on her raven tresses and she kissed me just above my heart.

"I…you didn't hurt me," I muttered once I finally could speak.

"I know. You don't need to explain where these tears came from. I know it's because I'm such an amazing lover that I got a girl pregnant and I think she's sexier than ever but she's not used to that. You are my beautiful mess. Let's get you dressed, you want shapewear or are you going to show off the belly tonight?"

"Nobody's going to think it is what it is when I'm holding hands with a woman."

"So I bought new packing boxers for no reason?"

"If anybody looks at your groin area for long enough to notice I will kill them. I need you now more than ever."

"You are all I want and the only woman I could ever truly love and trust so much I give her my name and the most precious things in the world to me."

"Your credit cards," I teased as my hormonal self finally zeroed in on a new emotion.

"Funny. You know what means more than anything to me. I've fucked a lot of women, even made love to a few but only ever found one I wanted to put my babies in. And even if I met every woman in the universe, you'd still be the only one in existence worthy of carrying my children."

"You're gonna make me cry again and then I may never get up and I'm looking forward to going on our date. And I think our little princess is looking forward to trying some prime rib too."

"I hung your outfit in the closet. I bought you some larger shapewear, wear it or don't, it's up to you and some maternity tights if you want them. They might not quite fit though."

"I love how you always think of everything."

"I know women, how they think, how their bodies work and what they need and I especially know the one I'm lucky enough to call mine. You want me to do your hair and makeup?"

"Yes, even though I shouldn't, we're such a bad lesbian cliché."

"Oh, well. I'm just me and I love making my beautiful princess look even prettier. If we get ready soon then we can take a carriage ride through Central Park before dinner," Alex told me tenderly as she rolled off me and stood beside the bed, looking down at me as I tried to stretch my back after lying down longer than I should have. A few minutes later I walked into the bathroom where Alex was fixing her makeup and making it darker and more dramatic than what she did for a normal workday and was met by a raised eyebrow that I was certain Alex didn't know I could see.

"Hey, baby, you forget how mirrors work?"

"You make me forget how a lot of things are supposed to work, especially walkin' in here looking like that."

"You don't look so bad yourself," I answered as I put my arm around her back underneath her jacket and then found her breast. I felt her nipple instantly stiffen from my touch and her breath hitch as I ground my front against her back, my center pressed firmly against her ass as her core collapsed into the counter, "You like when I fuck you like this, don't you? Such a dirty whore. You are so strong and powerful but you love to take it up the ass like a little bitch," I teased as she trembled at my touch.

"You know it's not fair to fuck me against the counter when I can't do the same to you."

"Yes, but when else am I going to get away with it? And you know she's pretty well protected in there."

"I don't want to risk it but don't you worry, I'm not going to go easy on you later when you are beyond desperate and begging on your knees for my hard cock in your tender cunt," Alex hissed as she broke free from my hold and spun me into her arms then kissed my neck, "Looks like somebody left a mark," she added as we both noticed the reddish-pink hickey on my neck.

"You are such a teenage boy sometimes," I teased as I watched her fingers search for the perfect cover-up among our collection of makeup until they grasped the perfect bottle, the one she used to cover up her tattoos when she was presenting in a more conservative environment where they might prevent someone from hearing her message.

"You bruise easily," Alex asserted as she rubbed the foundation into my skin and then rubbed a different layer on my skin that matched my warmer tone better. She picked up the bronzer but then put it down and kissed my nose.

"I'm glowing enough that I don't need it?"

"Yeah, I don't want to cover up that pregnancy-induced glow you have going on."

"I always heard girls steal your beauty but it seems like the reverse is true for me. I was a pimply mess when I was pregnant with Geo, I got zits in places where I didn't know it was possible to get them."

"You don't actually believe those old wives tales, do you?"

"Why would they persist if they weren't true?"

"Pregnancy is a confusing, vulnerable time and believing in things that have no basis in reality help make sense of something that a lot of times doesn't make any," she responded as her eyes grazed over her eyeshadow palettes before choosing a dark smoky eye with a slight hint of blue along the side creases of my eyes and quickly dragging blue-black mascara along my lashes and grabbing them with her eyelash curler which she knew I hated but I had to admit made my eyes look amazing. "Do you want red or pink?"

"Red always feels so festive this time of year."

"You have a shade in mind or do I get to pick?"

"You've chosen well so far but next time I choose your makeup."

"Deal. Even if I will look like a toddler did my makeup, but I guess I have to get used to that," she teased before painting my lips a deep, vibrant red, "I can't wait until she's in the bathroom begging me to put some lipstick on her too."

"What if she has no interest in makeup?"

"Then we'll keep having daughters until we have a girly girl, one of our nine remaining daughters is bound to be so girly she'll make us want to barf."

"Oh, don't talk about our daughter and making me barf in the same sentence."

"Sorry," Alex whispered soothingly as she unwrapped a ginger candy and popped it into my mouth and I moved it around with my tongue more seductively than necessary, "What am I gonna do with you," she asked as the surges of electricity between my thighs started courtesy of the remote Alex had full control over, "You are just being such a seductress today. You ignore me for like fifteen minutes when I come home to you showering after screaming your name through the house. Do you know how scary it is when you can't find your pregnant lover by phone and then you come home and can't find her there either?"

"Sorry, baby. I didn't mean to worry you. I can only imagine how much that must have scared you."

"At least you smell amazing and you are happier than I've seen you in weeks. You ready to go on a date, my lady?"

"Yeah, but grab a handful of those candies."

"Of course," she added as she grabbed the whole bag and I watched as she walked downstairs and threw them into her purse, "You want your own or would you rather just throw your wallet and phone in mine?"

"I'm fine with sharing tonight," I added with a kiss. Fifteen minutes later we were cuddled up together in a carriage with a white horse while we massaged each other's thighs and watched children playing in the snow, we were especially drawn to a boy who looked about six who was teaching his little sister who looked about two how to build a snowman as his mom and dad looked on.

"That'll be us soon," I declared out of nowhere, breaking the stillness of our favorite place in the City on this chilly mid-December night.

"I'm sure it'll be too soon. I just want to be in this moment a little longer," Alex whispered in a wavering, barely audible tone. I rubbed her black leather gloved hand with my grey and lavender knit covered one as she rested her head on my shoulder in a rare public moment of weakness. I didn't say anything for the rest of the ride, I just let her melt into me as she grasped my hand with all her strength. After she helped me climb out, she tipped the driver fifty bucks and I asked if he could take a picture of us with the horse which he agreed to. Alex handed him another twenty as I stood there petting the horse, amazed at how friendly he was and that I even liked him at all, I had never been a pony obsessed girl but I had a feeling somebody else was controlling my mind at that moment.

"I have a sinking suspicion our little girl is going to love horses," I whispered to Alex as we hailed a cab to the restaurant.

"Yeah, I always imagined I'd have a little girl who was all unicorns and rainbows. The kind of girl who throws a fit if she can't leave the house in fairy wings and would challenge me the way I did my mother. I'd hate to ruin a perfectly good family tradition. My mother challenged hers, I challenged mine and I shouldn't want that trait to carry down the line but I want that more than anything in the world, well other than to be able to legally call you my wife, it's gotten to where nothing else feels right."

"I know. I think it's forty-six days away, it seems so far away but so close," I added as Alex led me into a dimly lit steakhouse with the oak details and black leather that I knew she loved. She smiled as she walked up to a girl who had a certain theatrical presence of a waitress working her way through theater school as she waited for the audition that would change her life.

"Good evening, ladies."

"Two for Vause."

She looked down at her notes and back up at us with an awestruck look I had become used to, the one that asked how a woman got to be so rich, she regained her composure and grabbed two menus, "Yes, we have you in our private cellar dining room." We followed her back to the furthest corner of the restaurant and into a room surrounded by wine bottles with a small table in the center.

"Can I put in any drink orders for you two," the hostess asked while I sat down as Alex watched closely before sitting across from me.

"I'll have a bottle of your best Bordeaux and my wife will have a ginger ale with a twist of lime," Alex told the girl with her beaming smile as I rolled my eyes at her display of power and softness all melded together. She hit the remote hard the second the girl left and raised her eyebrow when I started to get mad. We spent the next two hours talking and laughing as we polished off two big prime rib dinners and oysters followed by a huge slice of chocolate cake that I ate most of. "I will never know how you can put away so much food."

"I'm growing a baby giant, she loves chocolate cake. Actually, can we take a couple of slices to go? Please? They were so good. Think of your poor, sweet daughter, you wouldn't want to let her down, now would you?"

"Yeah like she knows the difference between chocolate and carrots."

"Oh, believe me, she does and she loves cake. She loved that fluffy angel food like thing Red gave me and now tonight."

"Is it really that strong or is it just you finally giving yourself permission to eat things you normally wouldn't?"

"It depends when I'm squirting lime juice onto hot chips then dipping them into mayonnaise, that is definitely nothing I would ever want to do. This baby loves sour, cheesy and creamy things but hates teriyaki and won't let me anywhere near chicken, whether as meat or the actual living animal but Geo loved chicken teriyaki with extra water chestnuts and broccoli while this kid wants to live off chips and cake. But I did discover she loves anything mixed berry, especially yogurt and blueberry mini waffles with strawberry syrup and almond butter. But they have to be mini. It makes no sense to me. I just hope this doesn't mean she's going to be one of those kids who lives off junk food, Geo is such a good eater."

"And he's adventurous. Whatever we're eating he wants. He's recently gotten into Rubens and French dips, what toddler likes au jus and sauerkraut?"

"Well, he is half Jewish so that explains the love for Jewish deli food, I don't know your excuse beyond living in Germany and having a lapsed Jew for a best friend. I'm surprised this kid isn't forcing me to eat like corned beef and potatoes, she hates the smell of potatoes cooking more than eggs even. She's such a weird kid but I love her more than I ever thought possible."

"Every morning I wake up I can't believe she's ours for another day. I keep thinking one day I'll wake up alone in my bed with no stuffies or abandoned toys on my floor and no toddler shows on my Netflix queue and the past year will have all been a dream, the best dream of my life but still a dream."

"I can confirm that this baby that you put in me is definitely not a figment of your imagination. But I get how you think it could be. Sometimes there's a moment before I become aware of where I am that I expect to see my old worn at the edges Brooklyn apartment instead of to wake up on a cloud of Egyptian cotton and feathers that smell like almonds and coconut mixed with a little lavender."

"I think we are both living a dream, luckily it's the same one. I think our favorite tea house is still open, want to stop for matcha before we head home?"

"Yes, I think I'll get a soy peppermint tea latte though."

"Sounds festive. I'm still getting almond milk matcha with a hint of vanilla powder."

"I know you are. Let's get the check and head home. I'm ready for the other side of date night."

"Me too, babe. I'm feeling tipsy and in love. And I'm ready to fuck you like you deserve."

"Sure, Smooshy, a cloud would ask your advice on being soft and fluffy with the way you've been tonight but keep thinking what you're gonna do when you get me naked is fuck," I replied daringly only to unsurprisingly be met with a strong surge courtesy of the remote that was now in the breast pocket of her suit jacket that made me double over in agony followed by another series until I couldn't hold back the orgasmic display as she smirked proudly. Still, I couldn't resist poking the beast, "That it? Cause I'm still not convinced you are all hardcore badass." I felt a foot rubbing my leg and eyes undressing me as Alex asked for the check and paid without breaking contact while I put on my best unimpressed expression when really, I couldn't stop the raw need pulling me wide open like a ripe peach. I knew it meant she would win but I climbed onto her lap and rubbed against her groin while I kissed her and grasped her tightly. I felt her hand between us and then her fly open before she angled her way inside me. "Is that what you wanted, you naughty girl? So consumed by desperation," she huskily whispered in my ear but all I could think about was making sure she hit the spot where I needed her most. "God, I love this view. Get it, babe. Bounce dat ass and make those titties jiggle. I can't wait to have them in my mouth later." "Why wait until later," I teased as I wrapped a hand around her head and plunged her face into my tits while I finished riding her crotch. Half an hour later we were making out in the elevator, Alex's shirt was unbuttoned, revealing a lacy black bra that barely contained her breasts and I couldn't wait to get off but I didn't dare take it off, I knew there were few mortal sins in Dr. Alex Pearl Vause's world and that was one, maybe if I didn't have a human to protect I might have dared anyway but instead I let her unzip my dress and cup my ass in her hands as she teased my still wet cunt with her perfect fingers. She shoved me against the wall as she closed the door without breaking contact as her body pressed hard against mine and her tongue worked its way into my mouth roughly, quashing my every attempt to dominate the situation until I finally completely submitted to her will. She pushed off my dress while I ripped off her clothes and let everything fall to the floor in our desperate need for each other. When I was certain I couldn't stand another moment she lifted me onto her hips and carried me upstairs, whispering the last coherent words either of us would say for the rest of the night as we arrived at our room, "Trust me." She laid me down and let me get into a comfortable position before getting on top of me and rubbing my clit while she thrust inside me and I screamed in ecstasy as she hit my g-spot with one long thrust that shook everything inside me. I could see the dildo glistening from arousal once she finally pulled it out of me and I couldn't help but salivate. I whimpered when I watched her take it off before watching her throw one leg across my face and lower her swollen, dripping cunt onto my face and fuck me until she ran out of steam and I was left to finish her off while my fingers teased her ass until I dipped one inside as she dissolved into a mess of curses and Pipers. I kept pushing until I heard her scream four little words at the top of her lungs, "I love you, Piper!" When I finally let her go, she flopped on my side and pulled me close to her as she kissed my shoulders and held her hand low on my belly. I felt her caressing my small bump as my muscles relaxed and I felt myself relax into a deep slumber.

I woke up the next morning to Alex in a black robe with a plate of blueberry waffles prepared the way I had described the night before but with the addition of warm berry compote and fresh-squeezed orange carrot juice with a bit of turmeric and ginger and two cups of coffee, one small and the other Alex's favorite mug that said the world's greatest mom. I laughed when I saw it, remembering how Geo had picked it up in the store and said, "I buy," he had known her for six months and had been squarely in his rebellion phase but in that moment our sweet little boy was returned from the clutches of whatever demon had been controlling him over the past few weeks. I remembered how the cashier saw Alex looking on from the door and realized we were a lesbian family and asked, "You sure you don't want two?" "I wan' it for my Momma cause she doesn't have one. Mommy already does." I looked up to see Alex smiling as she set the tray down before kissing me softly then rubbing my belly, "How's my love muffin and our little cupcake?"

"Good. Although I'm not sure after last night you deserve to be drinking from a world's greatest mom mug, what kind of mother tries to knock her baby loose," I stated firmly, my blazing eyes and Hulk demeanor a bit too convincing as a wave of concern and sadness passed over Alex's face, "Aw, come here you big softie Vause-ee. I was kidding you are an amazing mother and trust me she's definitely still there."

"How many times did you get up last night?"

"Three," I replied as I took a sip of juice, "That's good babe. Did you put a little cayenne in there?"

"Just a pinch. You told me you've been craving spicy food so I wanted to make you some juice to settle your stomach and get some veggies into you."

"Will you be this thoughtful when you wake up to a blowout and a screaming, colicky baby? Cause girls do unholy things to their diapers."

"Yes. Believe me, I plan on making up for all the diapers I didn't change the first time around. How's everything else? Did I make it right? I don't know how you make this lovely delicacy so I guessed."

"It's perfect. Come join me, you'll never feel the same way about waffles again."

After breakfast, we spent the rest of the morning cuddled up under the blankets personalizing our Christmas cards, stuffing them and using the electronic postage meter Alex had borrowed from Artemis. I started sobbing as I looked over the stack of green papers, the few remaining after we finished our cards and lifted one into my hands, "The Inaugural Vause Family Christmas Letter," it read in a fancy script on top, as I read on I saw touches of her trademark snark as she proudly bragged about all the things that the three of us had accomplished over the year, she spent a paragraph talking about Geo's obsession with LEGOs and anything resembling a block and how he loved helping his moms around the house, especially cooking. He could hold his breath for twenty seconds and swim for five strokes under the water and could almost do a cartwheel. She talked about how I had made the transition to the nonprofit world and had successfully put on my first gala that September and how I was enjoying having more time to devote to running and yoga. She wrote about how she had learned about becoming a mother and had learned to cherish life's little moments instead of chasing the next big adrenalin rush. She was spending more time at the beach or Central Park and loved taking her son to the zoo or drag queen storytime more than anything in the world. She talked about our house and wedding plans and in the end teased the biggest development of all, "Can't wait until the first big Vause cookout except with more babies and less beer. We can't wait to share all the big developments in our growing family over the coming year with those we love the most. We are grateful for each one of the gifts we have received over the past year and can't wait to share what the next one brings." I smiled at Alex and kissed her cheek, "What's that for, babe?"

"You. And how sweet you are. I love the letter, I'm glad you gave in and wrote it."

"I am too. I never imagined I'd be writing a family Christmas letter. You want to take a walk and drop these into the mailbox?"

"I'd have to get dressed though," I sulked.

"But if you don't go, you'll blow up my phone telling me how much you miss me before I even make it to the elevator," Alex argued. I rolled my eyes and quickly threw on the only jeans that still buttoned and a loose turtleneck that was no longer all that loose and crammed my feet into a pair of black combat boots. We grabbed our puffy coats from the closet and headed out onto the cold New York streets, walking through Gramercy Park and stopping for pho before spending a night cuddling, watching movies and eating Alex's famous chocolate chip cookies. We chilled some sugar cookie dough for the morning and decided to have a cookie party with Nicky and Lorna when they dropped Geo off the next afternoon and sent texts to Jack and his moms, inviting the whole group over for wine and cookie decorating. I had missed our son but Red was right, we needed this time to reconnect with each other and the magic of the season.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Hope you guys like the plot twist and Vause-Chapman family cuteness in this Christmasey chapter...hopefully I'll get the Christmas chapter up before the weekend...I'm also working on a post-S7 Christmas three parter plus bonus chapter and epilogue (set in a different but similar post season 7 universe to my other story...and it could potentially have a longer sequel if you like the OCs and plot) I hope to have it up in the next few days...I just want to finish it before I post it.**

We walked into the auditorium of the elementary school attached to Geo's preschool. It was decorated with red and green paper and Santas with cotton ball beards. We looked around until we found two middle aged women waving us over.

"Mom! Grandma," we both screeched as we threw our arms around Diane and Celeste.

"Babies! They really did this place up nice," Diane said excitedly, "I brought flowers. I don't know if boys even appreciate that. I know you loved it the one year my co-worker found out my six-year-old daughter was having her first school recital and offered to cover the last two hours of my shift."

"If he doesn't love them you know we will, mom," Alex replied.

"Did you guys have any trouble getting in," I asked my grandma as she held me tightly.

"Just the normal traffic but I made it to the restaurant on time," Celeste told me, "Diane and I had a fabulous lunch. I'm really glad you brought her into my life, she's an exceptional woman. How did your appointment go?"

"Yeah we were worried when we didn't hear from you yesterday," Diane added as she pulled away from Alex, "Good or bad your family is always here for you. If something is wrong with the baby, you can tell us."

"Well, we do have some news, we've just been taking a little time to process it. It's nothing bad it was just a major shock. And everything is healthy. We'll tell you guys after," Alex told the women as we settled into our seats and the program began. Geo sung three songs, Frosty with his class, Up on the Housetop with the whole preschool and the Dreidel Song with the Jewish kids from the preschool and kindergarten classes. We had fought to get the school to allow him after he asked, since we had fallen into a group of Jewish lesbian mothers he had become more curious about Jewish culture and identity and our new friends always made it clear we were welcome, the same couldn't be said for some of the Jewish families at Geo's school who told us we would never be like them or know their experiences. Luckily, the school had a few international and intercultural adoptees so they were used to creating spaces that encouraged students to maintain connections to their birth cultures despite their parent's identity. After the show we found where Geo's teacher was releasing her students to their parents.

"Hi ladies! Are these Geo's grandmothers," she asked as Geo galloped up to Diane and smiled when she handed him the flowers, "If you don't like them, we can get you something else." "Don't be silly, Nana! They are so pretty!" We smiled at her and I told her, "That's Alex's mom, Diane, who is currently snuggling Geo. Those two are best friends and it is literally the sweetest thing. And this is my grandmother, Celeste," I told her as I pulled the woman over and the two introduced themselves.

"How's he doing? Has his speech improved?"

"Yes. He's doing great and socializing better with the other children. He has been telling kids his mommies are having a baby. So it seems he may be doing some attention seeking behaviors and telling stories to fit in with the others."

"I didn't even think he knew," I answered with my mouth agape.

"Well, our son is an extremely bright, precocious child like his mothers. He probably heard us talking or he saw Mommy's little bump and he's seen other women have babies so he figured Mommy is in love and that's what people do after they've been sharing the same bed for a year. And it's not like he knows the differences between mommies and daddies and two mommies. He's still fine with just knowing sometimes women fall in love and make babies. I'm sure he's going to have questions soon enough," Alex added.

"So you guys are?"

"Yes. It's still early so we haven't been telling people and we wanted to wait to tell Geo but we can't help talking about it. We just had our first prenatal appointment yesterday and we got some unexpected news," Alex answered, taking the lead as she always did when she could tell I was nervous.

"So I'm assuming you are the pregnant one, Piper?"

"Yes," I tightened my blouse over my bump, "There's not much to see but I'm pretty thrilled about it."

"Well, let me know if there's anything I need to be concerned about or if I can help you any."

"I was going to mention that Geo is going to be taking an extra week for winter break. We're going to surprise him with a trip to Europe over New Year's, we're going to be there for eighteen days. Alex hasn't been able to see her friends in a year, it's the longest she's gone and now that I have full custody, I can take him out of the country. She always goes this time of year, for over twenty years she went to Europe every winter and gave that up for me. I'm not sure we aren't crazy but it should be fun. I'm a little nervous that they're going to scrutinize why this kid is traveling with his mom and some other woman."

"It'll be fine and just send him to school with a scrapbook that includes stories and we'll call it even. He or you can do a presentation and you are welcome to bring the class some European treats. I'll also send him home with a homework packet. At this school, most kids miss at least a couple of days in January or February because their wealthy parents put skiing ahead of education so I'm used to it. My first year here it got to me but now I just accept that at least these parents are trying to create family memories when they can. So you enjoy your time together as a family and try to do something educational."

"We're planning on it," I answered as Geo came running up to me and I lifted him onto my body and he threw his arms around my neck and his legs around my ribs, "How'd I do, Mommy?"

"You were amazing. You were the cutest one of all. I'm so proud of you for getting up in front of all those people and singing."

"Yeah, cause Mommies don't like to sing in front of anybody! But I think you sound pretty."

"Don't go starting any rock bands, though," Alex joked as she kissed our son's head, he was still years away from understanding everything wrapped up in that statement.

"I don't want to be famous! I want to help people and build things!"

"You already do all that, baby boy," Alex whispered in a tone only audible to Piper, who smiled warmly in response.

"Want to go get pizza with your favorite grandmas," Piper cooed to her son in Alex's arms.

"And Momma too, right," he squealed with a look of both excitement and worry.

"Where else would I go, baby," Alex asked as she left a red lipstick stain on her son's forehead and he squirmed and giggled in her arms but Alex didn't loose her grasp of the toddler for one second.

"Work?"

"Momma got the afternoon off cause her little boy is the most important person in the world to her. Everybody wants to see a video of you and I took lots of pictures for them.

"Can we go bowing arcade?"

"Of course. Babe, you ready?"

"Yeah. Diane? Celeste? You guys okay with going bowling?"

"I'm not very good but sure, Piper," Celeste replied.

"As long as I don't have to play on a team against my daughter, she's savage when she's doing anything remotely competitive," Diane added as the group left the auditorium and Alex gave the two women directions to Geo's favorite pizza place. They spent a couple of hours talking and laughing as they demolished two x-large pizzas. They then went to Chelsea Piers and let Geo play whatever he wanted. Alex and Diane had a few beers at the snack bar and Piper got a craving for boneless buffalo wings and polished off two complete with celery sticks, except for a couple of sauce-covered red-orange nuggets that Alex managed to steal at great risk of losing a finger. Once even Geo was out of energy, they all headed back to the penthouse, Geo fell asleep in the car and Diane volunteered to carry him from the car to his bed.

"You have got to show me how you did that," the couple responded with shocked expressions.

"It's not that hard and they are only this little for a little while. You gotta enjoy it as much as you can. They love being teleported, I remember how you used to be, Ally, when you would fall asleep somewhere other than our bed and wonder how you got there. Every child should experience that magic."

Diane came back about half an hour later, pronouncing Geo as being completely fast asleep, "So, what's going on with my new grandbaby?"

"Do you want to tell her or should I," Alex asked as we exchanged a knowing glance and smiles brimming with joy.

"She's your mother."

"It's your pregnancy."

"Just stop, girls. Why don't you both tell me at once, I know you two are capable of speaking on the same wavelength," Diane snapped as her patience with us wore thin.

"We're having identical twins," we replied with more noise and excitement than we should have with a child sleeping in the closest bedroom to the great room. Celeste and Diane both shrieked and threw their arms around us, "We're going to have two baby girls! The embryo split! They didn't find it on the first ultrasound, they think Baby B was just too tiny to show up but she sure made her presence known on this one. That's why I've been experiencing things so much earlier and stronger with this pregnancy."

"Are they healthy," Celeste asked with a worried expression, "I've heard identical twins are really risky."

"Well, the doctors believe that they split late so they do share a placenta, Piper got a referral to a high-risk OB who will monitor the twins for TTS. Luckily, they are in their own sacs so we don't have to worry about all the risks of MoMo twins and cord entanglement."

"And for those of us who didn't go to med school," Diane fired back at her daughter.

"They're as healthy as could be expected right now and they are being well monitored by some of the best OBs at one of the best hospitals in the world. In a perfect world, they would have two placentas but they don't. It's like they're sharing a room but have their own separate beds. Not ideal but the doctors are optimistic that Piper can carry to at least 34 weeks, if she makes it past that point they'll schedule delivery just before 37 weeks."

"What a blessing," Celeste added as the news fully sunk in for Diane, "If I can help in any way let me know. I know you guys don't need money, Alex is richer than even I'll ever be but if you need me to come help when they are born or advice on baby stuff, let me know. Nobody in our family has ever had a set of twins! And girls too!"

"There have been three recorded surviving sets in the Vause family, two that didn't make it and a handful that we believe started out as twins," Diane added matter of factly.

"You couldn't have warned me about that _before_ I let a Vause embryo loose in my uterus?"

"You didn't ask about Vause family traits before you decided to carry a Vause baby. I woulda told you, not that you woulda listened. You and Alex are just the same that way, when you make up your minds, you are immovable. But I guess you both have had to be that strong to get to where you are. And those little girls are going to grow into amazing, strong women. And of course, your son will grow into a great man being surrounded by so many women."

"Hopefully, he'll get a brother eventually. We still want to have a son together and hopefully, one more if we get luckier than any couple of godless queers deserve to be."

"So could you tell if they resemble Alex or the donor more or is it still too early?"

"The doctor said we'll get a better idea about physical characteristics at our four month ultrasound but they seem to totally have Alex's lips and they are going to be tall like her, they are measuring big for a singleton but the doctors say especially since I've had a baby before I should be able to carry them to eight months at least. I just have to cut down my activity level drastically and stop running, which is going to suck but I'd rather not loose one of Alex's babies. I don't want to let her down or make her think she chose the wrong person to carry these babies that we both love. So I'll probably spend most of the next five months in bed but if I get to go to the hospital and have our daughters come home when I do it'll all be worth it. I am a little bummed I won't get the natural water birth I wanted, possibly ever if I end up having a c-section, but I'd rather have a house full of tiny Alexes and my sweet little boy version of me. When I saw those two heartbeats the dreams I had died but they were replaced by an even better dream of these two little redheaded twin girls. I'm scared to death about everything involved in bringing them into the world and what's gonna happen when they get here but I'm so happy."

"And I am too, even if the love of my life told me less than twenty-four hours ago that she wanted to kill me. It's not my fault her uterus was such a hospitable place that our embryo split, implanted and are growing strongly. I'm petrified, I've seen the worst when it comes to twin pregnancies and it was hard enough to watch a patient go through those things, but there's no words for how pained imagining those things happening to my soon to-be wife make me. I just hope this is the universe's way of showing me that there are twin pregnancies where everything goes as it should."

"You'll be in my prayers and when you are ready for everyone to know I'll put in a prayer request at my women's group and the church. I'll make sure you have a lot of people praying for you. I don't believe God hates gay people and would punish a lesbian couple for choosing to not just have babies but choose their own path that may not be the most natural but feels right," Celeste answered reassuringly, "I bet you ladies want to turn in for the night."

"Yeah, I'm exhausted but I had so much fun. I love that Geo gets to spend time with his extended family and have a lot of people love him as much as I do," I replied as I hugged my grandmother.

"Celeste, would you like me to put the air mattress in my office? You are welcome to sleep on the couch, whatever you are more comfortable with. Mom, I'm assuming you are going to curl up with your grandson?"

"I'm fine with the couch, sweetie. You spend as much time as you can with your partner, you both need this time together before your daughters arrive," Celeste answered as she hugged Alex tightly.

"You know it," Diane answered.

"Good, you'd break our little boy's heart if he didn't wake up in your arms in the morning," Alex asserted.

"Yeah, he's just like his Mommy, he pouts if he doesn't wake up in a Vause's arms," I joked as the two Vause women rolled their eyes and Alex giggled a little. Moments later, we all headed our separate ways. Alex and I turned on a Christmas movie and cuddled in bed under our heated blanket until we fell asleep.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy Christmas time Vauseman style, this is a huge chapter with a bit of everything (holiday-themed Vauseman smut, domestic Vauseman as mommies, Diane Vause as mom and Nana) and our foursome are off on a four-country family trip...any suggestions for places they should go either as a couple or with Geo in tow are welcome...the next chapter will be in Europe and then it's marriage time!**

"Hey, baby, you done yet," a husky voice asked and I startled a bit before I turned from where I was standing finishing helping Santa organize Geo's presents after he left in a hurry because he's a busy man and I'm a woman who appreciates ambition, to see Alex in a form-fitting low-cut red leather mini dress that left nothing to the imagination and black fishnet tights with red glitter and perfect red lips and a Santa hat on her head.

"Damn. If I wasn't, I would be," I stammered as I started feeling the room spinning and the air leaving my lungs as I checked out what I was certain was an apparition before me, "Which ghost are you," I asked once I got close to where she was leaning against the couch and craning her neck. I watched her grin with cockiness and mischievous satisfaction as I salivated at the spot where her neck and shoulder met in a perfect curve.

"I'm Dr. Cl-ause. Here to take care of all the naughty mommies' yuletide fantasies and keep the child psychologists busy in the new year. You know I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus and all that shit. Except in my fantasy, Mommy was grinding on top of Santa asking if she had been bad enough to get whipped like Santa's slowest reindeer."

"Mmm…so naughty. If only I were dressed more appropriately for the situation," I teased as I eyed the velvet bag that she had earlier told me not to touch and I felt between her legs to see exactly what she had in mind.

"You are trying to find out if Dr. Clause has any extra gifts, aren't you, you naughty girl? Now go open the bag and then come sit on Santa's lap. I hope you have something sweeter than cookies for me. Santa's had a lot of cookies, they're all the same at this point. I'm craving something a little less ordinary and you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"I've made enough trips around the world on my sleigh but if you think I need to do a little more research, I'd be happy to summon Vixen and the rest of my reindeer and be on my way," Alex teased as I pulled a skimpy see-through red teddy with white faux-fox fur trim and matching silk thong and a holly crown out of the bag as Alex looked on with a look of both hunger and pride. I came back over by the couch and grabbed her wrists hard then pushed my full weight against her and grabbed her lower lip in my teeth, "Like hell you will."

"I don't think you are going to get into that thing. I spent so much time imagining you in it too. But now I need you too much, baby," she whispered as she pushed her fingers into my pajama bottoms and quickly found my clit. I moaned the moment her cold fingers met my warm center and she could tell by my moan what she had done wrong.

She moved her hand from under my pajama bottoms and massaged my breasts gently, "Too cold, babe," she asked as she momentarily broke character and kissed me tenderly.

"Maybe a little. Although, I don't recall the purpose for my tits to be filling in as hand warmers for your ice-cold hands."

"Oh, I know that isn't their sole purpose but they are certainly useful for many wondrous things. Do you want to go upstairs or are you fine with the couch?"

"Stay here. Trying to get to our room means waking Geo and it's the first Christmas where he gets it so if he finds out Santa came, our lives are over for the next few hours."

"Has she?"

"Santa came but his special helper hasn't, first let's deal with Dr. Clause," I kissed her with ferocious hunger and insane passion as she stripped me naked and I pushed up her skirt to reveal that she was completely naked underneath. With no warning, I pushed two fingers inside her tight opening as she barely muffled an earth-shattering scream and bit her lip as it trembled. I kept kissing her harder to keep her quiet as I worked my way inside her and my thumb found her clit. I rubbed in circles, alternating between wide sweeps and more concentrated efforts on to the center of her clit as she became wetter and her walls granted me unfettered entrance to the deepest reaches of her warm cunt.

"At least something on you is warm."

"It gets cold all alone on my sleigh. Maybe I need a sexy woman to keep me warm with her smile."

"Flattery will get you," I slid in another finger and made three rapid thrusts as her body stiffened and she went crazy, "everywhere. You like that, don't you?"

"Mmmm…ummm…Pi-iiii-ppp-uuu-ipppp-eess! Uhuhmmm-uh-uh-uh."

"Show me how much you love when I fuck you hard. You like your empty cunt filled just like a common, ordinary slut. You aren't special, you are like every other woman in the world. You're a gorgeous woman, emphasis on the wo-man. You know, I have a poor little finger who is starting to feel left out. What ever should I do with it?"

"Wha-uhh-ee-eee-rrr wah-ahhh-aa."

"Okay, then. You know my fiancé likes when I do this," I told her in a sultry tone as I let some of her escaping wetness moisten my pinkie before gently pushing my way into her ass as her moans became more guttural and animalistic as my other hand held her tightly and I planted kisses along her cleavage to her collar bone and back again as she rode out her orgasm until she was almost spent and I pulled over just before the aftershocks started. I tore her dress off, pushed her down on the couch, shoved her legs open and got down on my knees and started with a few perfectly aimed licks to her clit as I told her, "Hold your fucking lips open for me, woman. Don't make me fucking do all the work," as my nails dug into her ribs and wandered her body blindly as my tongue concentrated on peeling through her folds until I got to the center and was rewarded with sweetness gushing out of her as she struggled not to scream. We went another round with my tongue on her clit and my fingers thrusting hard and deep before I told her to lay down and I fucked her face until I collapsed from exhaustion.

"Was that better than a cookie decorated by a child?"

"Oh, don't say the word child when your swollen tits are on full display."

"What worried you'll be reminded that you just got dominated by a pregnant chick, by the woman carrying your babies?"

"Mmmm…something like that. It's already three am. How did it get so late?"

"Welcome to motherhood. The older he gets the longer all this takes. I can't believe this is his fourth Christmas, well fifth if you count the one that he was in my belly for but only I seem to count that one."

"It totally counts. To a mother, it counts and we're his both mothers. I wish I had been there for that Christmas. I've heard the story, it sounds terrible."

"My parents were ashamed that their heavily pregnant, unmarried, at the moment single twenty-five-year-old daughter would show up and ruin their standing in Connecticut society so they forbade me from coming home, Larry wanted nothing to do with me and Cal was still too young to truly understand. He cried and begged so many times but I knew I would have only made it worse for him by coming and my parents making a scene. The only person who sent me anything that Christmas was Celeste, well, Cal got himself a little job wrapping gifts at the mall, shoveled snow and bought me and Geo some gifts, well he tried anyway but he was barely twenty and had no clue what babies needed so the stuff he bought for him was a little crazy. Once they realized Geo was a permanent fixture in my life, they came around a little and allowed me at family gatherings again. They still weren't happy about it but at least they could tell their pro-life friends that their daughter had made the difficult choice to parent her son and make the best out of the situation God dealt her. I used to think that was bullshit and the way those people say it, I still do but now I realize if I didn't have him then I wouldn't have you and these two little girls in my belly who don't have to do anything for me to know they are there."

"Are you kidding me? It doesn't matter what choices we made in our lives, we'd still be here, on my couch, in front of a lit-up Christmas tree overflowing with presents on Christmas Eve. You'd probably be pregnant with our twin daughters in that scenario too. But I'm glad we have Geo and that all of our Christmases get to be better than the ones when I was a kid and spent my Christmas Eve and morning with sometimes different babysitters but always at least a babysitter and the first Christmas you spent pregnant."

"I'm glad I can make your Christmas merrier, you old Scrooge."

"I didn't have a reason to celebrate but now I have a partner and we have children, I have a family and it's not Christmas without one. Let's try to creep upstairs and get to bed."

"Just make sure to take the evidence that Santa didn't just eat the cookies and the commotion downstairs had nothing to do with reindeer hooves."

"Next year, we need to convince the kids that the reindeer need a carrot," Alex teased as she gathered up the clothes and sprayed some gingerbread-scented air freshener in the living room. I glared at her, laughed and then shook my head as I slapped her arms and we crept upstairs to get what ended up being more of a three-hour nap when our son woke up before the sun jumping on our bed and screaming excitedly, "It Kiss-Miss! Mommies wake up! He came! He came! Santa came! Mommies! Momma A! Mommy P! It Kiss-Miss! Come on! Wanna pway new toys! Mommies! Mommies! Mommies," until Alex rolled over, groaned and grabbed her glasses as the pair headed downstairs with the promise of making coffee, which meant I got another ten minutes to myself.

I came downstairs when I heard laughter ringing through the apartment from the kitchen and started wondering what my two favorite people were up to so I got out of bed, found my robe and slippers, took my morning heartburn/acid reflux pill, a new symptom that I had figured out if I took a pill early enough would stop it from ever starting. I got downstairs, walked up to the kitchen entryway and was greeted with the sight of Alex and Geo taking marshmallows out of a bag and shoving them in their mouths.

"What are you two doing," I exclaimed sternly with my hands on my hips.

"I tallended Momma! Momma sayed she could get more marmellows in her mouf din me!"

"Who won?"

"Momma twice and me once!"

"Dr. Alex Pearl Vause, how many marshmallows has our son had?"

"Was too busy counting my own," Alex answered with a playful shrug.

"God, you both need adult supervision."

"That's why you're here. I made some coffee for you. I just made regular but I can cut it with decaf."

"Let's see I have a sugared-up partner and son who seem to be at the same maturity level today and that other thing," I told her, subtly referring to the two little girls in my womb, "So I think I need all the help I can get," I responded as I lifted my sticky, hyper toddler into my arms, I would have had better luck herding a feral mother cat but eventually I convinced him to have a kiss battle.

"Did Santa come?"

"Yeah! He bringed me lots! He bringed me a robot dog and skateboard! I asked him and he bringed it! He really bringed it! But Momma sayed I cuddint go into the living room until you waked up."

"Did he eat the cookies?"

"Yeah, and he left a note! Momma read it to me! He knows my name! He told me I was very good dis year! And to be extra helpful to my Mommies next year! To be a big boy and do big boy stuff!"

"Aren't we lucky we have Momma?"

"Yeah," he replied as Alex handed me a cup of coffee and took our son from my arms and carried him on her hip into the living room. She raised her eyebrow and glared at him when he started tearing into his gifts. "Wha-wong, Momma?"

"Mommies need presents too. Why don't you show off your reading skills and separate the presents? If you need help, the gold ones are for Mommy, the red ones are for me and the blue snowman ones are yours."

"Okay," he answered and ten minutes later we were all tearing into our stacks of presents, mainly travel related although I did get Alex some clothes and a new tablet and she got me a pink pearl necklace and the Nespresso machine I had been wanting. Geo got more toys than any kid could play with and the first-ever gift cards that were given specifically to him and not me for him. His big present from us was two scrapbooks, one of his first year with me and another with Alex over the past year.

"I was so little!"

"I know. Auntie Lorna helped mommies."

"Auntie is so artistic! She loves colors!"

"Do you like them," I asked as his deep brown eyes were transfixed by the book on his lap.

"I love them!"

"How would you feel if there was another baby in the house?"

"That would be so cool! Did Santa get me a sister?"

"Well, as I told you when you made your list Santa only brings toys, not living creatures or people. People who love each other make babies."

"You and Momma love each other. But you're girls."

"Remember how we told you that sometimes two girls who really love each other like mommies and daddies love each other go to a special doctor?"

"Yeah."

"Well, before Momma met Mommy, she went to a doctor who took her eggs and froze them until she was ready to be a mom. Then when we fell in love I decided I wanted to carry her baby. Remember when we were in California for a long time?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, we went to see the doctor and he put what's called an embryo in my belly. We hoped and hoped for weeks and it grew. Then we went to a doctor who helps deliver babies and she took a picture with a special camera that can see inside people's bodies and she told us the one embryo had become two. Instead of one baby, Mommy has identical twins in her belly. Do you know what identical means?"

"Two things the same?"

"Yeah. So since Mommy's babies came from the same fertilized egg, they will look the same and they'll either both be boys or girls."

"I hope they are girls!"

"How would you feel if they were boys?"

"I'd be sad but I'd help Mommies and love them still."

"Good. But mommies knew you wanted a sister and we wanted a little girl too, so we asked the doctor to put a girl embryo in my belly. So this summer, you are going to have two little sisters. I know that's a long time to wait but there's a lot of stuff you can help with in the meantime. And we are going to do a lot of fun things before the babies get here. Mommy might have to spend a lot of time in bed so I might not always be able to go places with you and Momma. But know it's so your sisters can grow big and strong and stay safe in my belly until they are big enough to live outside of my belly, not because I don't love you and want to do fun things with you."

"Sisters? Yay! Is that why you've been so sick and taking naps like I used to?"

"Yeah. Making two babies is extra hard work and they make Mommy extra sick and tired."

"Can I come read you stories and give you compesses when you sick?"

"Yeah, I'd like that. And we can cuddle in bed and watch TV if you are quiet and not too squirmy."

"I'll be extra good. Does Santa know? Is that why he told me to be extra good?"

"Santa has special powers. He knows about every child in existence. He has to if they are going to make the list next year."

"But what if they're bad?"

"Babies can't be bad. Yes, sometimes they cry for no reason and annoy their siblings but they don't know how to be bad. They don't always know any better cause they're new and nobody's taught them how to behave."

"I know how! I can help teach them! I'll be the bestest big brother ever!"

"We have another surprise, did you notice a theme with our presents?"

"Evie-body gotted new rolly bags and tavel stuff!"

"We are going to Europe after an early dinner with Nana tomorrow for three weeks! We're going to go see Momma's friends in Germany, Denmark, and France! And we're gonna see the places from the fairy tales I read you at night. Castles, gardens, zoos and museums and maybe a few special surprises if you're good."

"Momma must be so happy! I know she misses her friends lots. I miss my friends from Bookin lots and we just live on opzit sides of a river! Dey live across the ocean! That far! Does that mean we have to take a plane?"

"Yeah but it'll be a very long flight, way longer than to Chicago and they'll give us two meals. You'll have to sleep on the plane and be a really good boy. We got you one last present that if you are extra helpful at Christmas dinner over the next two days you can have for the trip. But you can't make mommies start counting once and you have to be nice to grandma."

"But gramma no nice to me!"

"I know. Sometimes adults don't act the way they should but you still have to be good because it makes you feel good," Alex interjected before making an apologetic face at butting into our mother-son time.

"It's okay, Al. You have anything you want to say, baby," I asked as I kissed her softly.

"Nope, you pretty much covered it. If you have any questions, you can always ask me or your mother."

"I have quesin. Will the babies look like me?"

"Biologically, they have both a different mom and a different dad from you and the donor Momma chose to help her eggs become babies didn't look like your mother, so probably not. But you are our son and even if you don't look alike if you love them like your sisters and call them that then that's what they are. If anybody tells you differently you come tell Momma or go to a trusted grown-up like you would for anything else that hurt you, okay?"

"Okay. Do you have other frozen babies?"

"Yes."

"So someday I might have a third sibling?"

"Yeah but not until you are much bigger."

"How much?"

"Like six or seven. Would you want lots of siblings?"

"If they're nice and don't cry too much."

"I'll see what I can do, buddy," she told him as the two hugged tightly and he exclaimed that his twin sisters were the best Christmas gift ever as I went to start the cinnamon rolls and Alex helped him start the process of choosing which toys to put together and play with now and which to save for later. I even heard him ask if he could give a couple of the toys and clothes that he didn't like to the kids who didn't have any. This year we had started a new tradition where we made him pick a toy and an outfit he would use and then we gave it to a fire station in Harlem and told him that not all kids were lucky to have mommies and daddies who could buy them anything they wanted. We weren't sure he understood but as he sorted his haul into three piles I smiled as I realized just how much he had understood. Geo was growing up so fast. Gone were the days of liking the paper or box more than the gift and instead we had this thoughtful, sensitive child who cared for others even amongst his excitement. A few hours when he went screaming into my parents' house that Mommy had babies in her belly, I forgot that swell of pride and wanted to kill him before Alex pulled me aside and told me he's just excited and asked what I thought was going to happen when I told him. She was right, he's three and behaving like a three-year-old who just got the one thing he wanted most in the world. My mom was shocked when I told her I was carrying Alex's twins, I told her yes we're getting married before the babies arrive. She wasn't thrilled but it didn't go as horribly as it had with Geo. My dad and Cal were way more enthusiastic, although Cal asked a ton of questions later, many of which we refused to answer because they weren't things your little brother needs to know. I wasn't totally glad they now knew but it did allow me to breathe just a little easier now that I no longer had the figurative weight of my secret hanging over me. I could focus on loving and growing my daughters, well that and getting ready to take our first ever international Vause family vacation, which my mother told me I crazy to do with Geo so young and in my current condition. We were excited to fly to Prague, the city that had made a sixteen-year-old Alex Vause fall in love with Europe and global travel but we had one last surprise we planned on keeping until the very end of the trip, one over the top thing that he would enjoy more than Alex ever would and we couldn't wait to see the look on his face. We just hoped he wouldn't be one of those kids who cried or had an anticlimactic reaction to the words, "We're going to Disney!"

We had one more person to surprise though. The next day, after filling up on too much of Diane's special Christmas dinner and her encouraging me to take the last piece because I was carrying her twin grandchildren, which also made it impossible to refuse when she encouraged me to have thirds. Well that and Alex whispering in my ear all the ways we'd work it off later.

"Geo, why don't you go check and make sure you have all the toys you want for our trip," I told our son as Alex helped Diane clear the table. He whined a little until Alex gave him the look and he stopped in his tracks and hollered, "Momma no count."

"Momma doesn't want to but you know I will. Now do what your mother told you to do," she told him with that famous Vause glare.

"He must be excited about the trip," Diane declared as he ran upstairs still sulking a bit that he had to tear himself away from his favorite grandparent.

"He is. Did you have a great Christmas?"

"It was wonderful. I love having a grandchild and don't know who spoiled who this Christmas. I love the plate with his little handprint and the ornaments you two painted. I'm glad you didn't get me anything fancy this year."

"Actually," Alex said with a slightly sarcastic tone as she reached into a drawer and pulled out a long rectangular envelope then handed it to Diane.

"Did you get me concert tickets? I do still love rock bands, although I want to slap some of the girls who try to weasel their way backstage like they invented it. Not that they'd listen. I know I wouldn't have at their age. And I'm glad I was too young and dumb to know any better cause I can't imagine not having my daughters and grandbabies."

"Yeah, after this past year I get it. I don't know what I did with my time before I had toys and left shoes to find and a kid telling me I picked out the wrong socks for his outfit."

"You're doing an amazing job, Ally. When I told you that you could do anything and be successful, I meant it and you've always proven me right. Now let's see what you got me tickets for," Diane added as she tore the envelope open with her fingers to reveal a stack of plane and European rail tickets, "What did you do, Alex Pearl Vause!"

"Surprise, you're spending New Year's with your daughters and grandson in Europe."

"What about the property management business. I can't just leave that for three weeks to galivant around Europe and I wouldn't want to impose on your time with your partner and child and I'm sure you want to catch up with your friends."

"You could never impose and I took care of the business. I'm your boss and I'm ordering you to take a vacation. I could always fire you and rehire you in three weeks. I've always asked you to come to Europe and you've given me the same excuses for over twenty years. We're leaving in two hours and they're non-refundable."

"So is this why you told me to make sure to bring my passport?"

"Yeah. And Geo doesn't know this part but we're ending the trip at Disney in Paris."

"I've never been to any Disney park."

"I know and that's part of why I wanted you to be there when he sees it for the first time."

"What about clothes? I only packed for the weekend."

"Whatever you need or want I'll get you and you know that."

"Who's watching the apartment and managing your home remodel?"

"Jack is coming over tonight, Cal is going to spend New Year's here, he's always wanted the Times Square experience, so he asked and I said of course. Then we have various friends looking in on the apartment, friends who aren't Nicky of course. She would burn my house down and probably throw a raging party and my kid lives here. I do not need him finding leftover cocaine or worse. Especially, when I'm getting ready to start the adoption process at the beginning of next year. As for the remodel I can manage that from anywhere and I trust Joe."

"You thought of everything."

"Would you expect anything less from me," Alex asked as she crossed her arms.

"No. Are you just bringing me along to be a free babysitter?"

"That's not the only reason but you know how Piper is, especially with our son."

"Yes, she's the tiger and you're the bear."

"You know I've always wanted to show you Europe and I know you love spending time with Piper and Geo. It'll be good for you to get to spend three weeks with them, especially since so much has happened so fast. You've spent a few days here and there with them. This trip is about strengthening our bond as a family and bringing my worlds together and you are very much a part of that. I'm done living a fragmented life."

"Okay, Ally. But you had better not make me eat anything weird."

"I'm sure at some point we'll end up in a European McDonalds or something equally horrid because you know I'll do anything to see my mom, partner or kiddo smile. It's central Europe, the food isn't that weird. It's mostly meat and potatoes and sausage. And European sweets are better than the ones you'll find anywhere else."

"Well, if it's for my grandson and to discourage him from living on nuggets and macaroni but I'm making you wear mouse ears," she said with a grin as the two Vause women hugged, "Guess we'll have to finish up in here fast. I can't believe I'm going to Europe and Disney!"

"Deal, mom. I'm so excited to show the three people I love most a taste of the places I love most," Alex exclaimed as she looked over at me and then her mom who was now frantically washing dishes like the seasoned restaurant worker she had once been. Sixteen hours later, we stepped out of the airport in Prague with wide-eyed wonderment as our three weeks in Europe officially began.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Hi everybody...I'm back from a much needed hiatus and this story is wrapping up on my end...I have both the ending and epilogue all written so this story should be rapidly coming to a close (I have an idea for a sequel if you want more of these characters)...hope you guys like it and I will be getting back to work on Stuck on You soon now that I have this story mostly complete! :)**

The four of us quickly stopped at the two-bedroom apartment Alex had rented for two nights, even though we really only had thirty-two hours in Prague, well twenty-eight to actually enjoy it. Prague was more of Alex's best attempt at her Berlin friends not meeting a grumpy, jetlagged toddler and his equally pissy mother and I knew it but to Geo, it was just another cool new place. We dropped off our bags and headed to the Old Town Square where Alex held our son as he marveled at a clock tower built centuries ago and we peered inside old churches. Alex asked if I wanted to go in but old habits died hard and some spaces still worried me as a woman in love with a woman. Churches had always felt like the number one place where I had to hide my true self, followed closely by the sports field because it was perfectly fine to get drunk and make out with girls then show up to a match with a couple of hours of sleep as long as the talent scouts never realized it.

So we admired them from outside, marveling at ornate windows and centuries-old turrets. Alex bought us a few of her favorite treats for lunch and went to the sights that Geo was old enough for in Jewish Town, the parts that celebrated culture and family rather than memorializing the horrors that had happened, that no half Jewish toddler was old enough to handle, I could barely handle glimpses of them as his mother, and finally walked through Lethna Gardens. Once Geo was worn out and after the older two Vauses had a couple of beers, Diane took our son back to the hotel so that Alex and I could go on a romantic date.

"Be good, girls," Diane told us as she hugged Alex and then me, all without losing grip of the toddler on her hip who was fighting his exhaustion.

"Don't worry I'll have your daughter back by midnight, Ms. Vause," I joked as I did my best impression of a lovestruck quarterback taking the gorgeous popular cheerleader on a Saturday night date.

"Very funny, Piper. But you know you aren't the one I'm worried about. Anyway, she's already gotten you pregnant, what more shenanigans can you two get into? You know I don't worry about you two, I worry about the idiots of this world who can't deal with two women in love and building a life together that includes all the things and means of expression every other couple wants. Just be safe and don't do anything stupid. I want you two to have a romantic night out even if every time that rare occasion comes around it scares the shit out of me."

"I know, mom. Don't worry, just have fun with your grandson," I told her before Alex gave Diane directions to a chocolate shop and handed Diane some colorful paper money I had figured out was called a koruna, "And you behave for your Nana, cause you know she tells me everything. Do you want to lose your Nintendo on day one," Alex told Geo after she lifted him into her arms and gave him kisses.

"No, Momma. I'll be good. And Nana told me there special supise if I am good the wole tip! But I am aways good!"

"Well, I wouldn't say always but I always love you, even when you're naughty," Alex teased our son with a stern yet sarcastic tone. I flashed her a look when I heard her say that and Diane rolled her eyes.

"An' I aways love you, even when you put me on time out."

"But I'm not going to have to do that all vacation am I?"

"Nuh-uh, Momma!"

"That's my boy," Alex told him and with one last tight cuddle transferred him into Diane's arms. We watched for a moment as the two headed out of sight. "It never gets easier," Alex whispered as she tightened her grip on my hand and kissed my ear, an action that made me smile and melt against her body. "I know. Just don't let it ruin our night, baby. We only have so many dates left before true chaos arrives," I whispered as I put her hand on the slight bump that had recently begun to become noticeable. "Don't talk about my little princesses like that. They are perfect little half goddess babies."

"Sure. Right, yeah, about that, Al," I told her in a playful tone with a hint of seriousness.

"You sure you're up to going out tonight, babe," Alex stammered as she became truly concerned at the lack of rest that I had gotten over the past few days.

"Yes. We only have one night here and I want to see the sights."

"I just don't want you to overexert yourself."

"Yeah you were so worried about that when you fucked me on a plane not quite twenty-four hours ago when our kid and Diane were sleeping across from us in the next aisle."

"I didn't hear any complaints at the time," Alex teased with her seductive, commanding glare as she led me down the cobblestone walkways and to a boat that she had rented just for the two of us. We spent the next hour sipping sparkling cider for me and expensive French champagne for her while we picked at a cheese platter and watched the sunset while we floated leisurely down the river. Then we wandered down the streets of Mala Strana, passing the Lennon wall and placing a lock on a bridge as a symbol of our eternal love. Then we went to a romantic dinner with a view of the castle and winery followed by a night at the ballet and a late night walk through Petrin Park and some late night dessert for me and French cognac and a beer for Alex in the city's gay area before heading back to the hotel. We checked in on Geo and Diane's room and found our son fast asleep in his Nana's arms, Alex blew him a kiss before kissing me as she tended to do when she felt grateful for his existence and wanted me to know about it. "You need water or anything before we go to bed?"

"I'm fine. I just want a foot massage and jammies and to fall asleep in your arms. Tonight was magical."

"Yes and there's still nineteen days left, so we're just getting started. Tomorrow we're going to our first castle of the trip and the botanical gardens because I know you and mom will love it and Geo and I will probably play tag or something that will keep us on our toes. Then finally, we all get to ride down the river to the zoo and maybe Stromovka and pizza. After our long day, it'll be one sleep until Berlin and I don't know who's more excited for that leg of our trip. A whole week in Berlin, the only place other than New York City that I could imagine myself living in forever by choice."

"And Leni, right," I declared.

"Yeah. God, I miss her. She can't wait to meet my family, she's known me for around twenty years now and never met my mom. She's always been there for me. When everybody knew Silvia was bad news but I kept chasing anyway, she was still there, even when nobody else was. She was in my corner when the rest of the world was against me. And when I was falling for you and knew I was headed for huge trouble she helped me see a way to make it work and encouraged me to follow my heart. I'm looking forward to spending New Year's Eve with my Berlin friends and kissing you at midnight and my babies at about 12:05 when I finally let you go."

"Sounds perfect," I told her with a kiss.

After an exhausting whirlwind day in Prague and a night spent making sure we didn't leave anything behind in a foreign country, especially not the stuffies and blankie that Geo swore he didn't need until after receiving two stories and a glass of water without being the least bit 'sweepy', we woke up early to meet the luxury black SUV Alex had hired to take us to Leni's four-bedroom penthouse just outside the center of the gay area of Berlin. We took a quick tour of some of the top sights while Diane, Geo and I became acquainted with Leni and her partner.

Leni was an equally well situated psychologist, her specialty was in infant and neonatal loss while her partner, Claudie, was a medical researcher who specialized in blood and connective tissue disorders and within Europe was considered a foremost authority on rare and emerging nervous system related diseases. They were both professors at one of the universities and enjoyed an arrangement as they called it, something I would soon learn was common amongst Alex's European friends. Everybody slept with everybody and nobody cared as long as it was just sex. But I cared. Just a look wasn't a thing, let alone just sex, when I had so much to lose and Alex had everything to gain. I tried to put aside my jealousy as we sat at dinner the first night with four of Alex's closest German friends as they were talking and laughing in a language I barely understood, which only made me feel even more left out and concerned. I had no idea what they were saying but the body language of girls flirting was the true universal language. Eventually, Leni noticed and pulled me aside.

"Is everything okay, Piper," she asked in English as we stood in the hallway.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm just tired. I think the jet lag must finally be hitting me," I answered, hoping she'd believe a lie even I didn't believe.

"So it has nothing to do with being in a country where you don't speak the language, your fiancé does and has in-jokes and is sitting at a table with five of her ex-lovers? Jealousy is human nature. You have a lot to lose. Alex is a special human being, she's a rare creature. If I were you, I'd be feeling jealous too."

"Maybe a little. I've seen her hanging out with Nicky but I'm not threatened by it but for some reason I find these women intimidating and I think my brain is confusing that with threatening."

"You aren't threatened by Nicky because you know those two are more like sisters, fucked up sisters but sisters nonetheless. These women don't have that. If it'll make you feel better, I'll let you in on a little secret but you can't tell."

"As long as it's not oh I was once married to your woman, go ahead."

"I was the first person in Alex's life who knew about you. Even before Diane. She told me everything and I do mean everything. At first, she just said she had feelings for this girl with a kid. Then she told me she was in trouble, more than ever and I have been through a lot with her so I knew it must be something pretty big because Alex is not the kind of woman who is prone to exaggerating shit for attention, she's the antithesis of that type. She told me that the chick was a potential client and she was in too deep to get out and she didn't really want to. She had been using her position as a doctor to get close to the girl she had developed a crush on. That she had looked her up on Instagram and been social media stalking her. I asked if the girl liked her too and she said 'I think so, I mean I hope so. I'm in love with her. But a kid? I don't know. I don't know if I can date a mom and come into an established mother-child relationship. Where would I fit in?' And I told her she could and should. That she had never used the words 'in love' to describe anyone. The plan to snare you was my idea and obviously, it worked," she told me as she peered down at my belly that I swore was mostly meat and cake, "Because here you are with all the things around a billion women wanted but never got. They got a roll in the sack with the legendary Alex Vause but whenever any of them caught feelings she cut them loose like they never existed. She didn't have time for feelings, just work and sex. But you have brought such richness and joy to her life. These women wish they could do that. So if anyone should be jealous of anyone in this apartment it's them of you. They all wish they could be you and are trying to figure out what you have that they don't as if it's anything that exists in the physical sphere. There's something about your energy. It's infectious. I see it, Alex sees it, but as for the rest of these bitches, they don't and never will so they are doomed to cry why not me for the rest of their miserable lives. Come join in and if anybody makes you feel truly uncomfortable let me know. This is my house and you are the guest of honor. And if Alex is the guilty one, let me know and I'll kick her pretty little cocky ass."

"But I don't know the language or all the little in-jokes and stories. Alex had this whole well-established life before me."

"Luckily, I'm here and a willing translator whether it's German culture and language as a whole or they of our little tribe. I want you to have the best week of your life and to see why I love this city, why it's such a cultural center and the best place to ring in a new year. We'll play some party games and if you ever need something explained, I'm here. I'm so glad Alex found you. Even if it meant my best friend didn't come rent my spare room and start a new life in Berlin. If I had to lose her to someone, I'm glad it's you and that little boy of yours. Seeing Alex holding him on her hip like she's been doing it his whole life was amazing. You would never know that she wasn't there from the moment of conception. I was finally watching her live up to the potential I knew she had."

"Could you imagine? She'd be more of a one-eyed monster than I am right now if she had been there for that," I chuckled before becoming serious, "He was meant to be hers. I truly believe that. My baby was meant to be hers and her babies were meant to be mine. It hasn't always been easy and sometimes we were so lost or she left things within his reach that she shouldn't have but I'm glad you told her to not let her fear win out. I don't know where I'd be without her."

"Just know, she will always need you more. Now come join in. Want another slice of cake?"

"I shouldn't, I've already had too much sugar. The last thing I want is to come home from this trip with gestational diabetes."

"Indulge a little. It's a party and you are a skinny thing with two babies growing in your belly. Eat. Be merry. And that's an order," Leni teased before hugging me as we headed back into the dining room where the other women and Alex were sitting around a table. Not long after I rejoined the group Diane excused herself and joined Geo in the room down the hall where he was sleeping. The next day, we went on a girl's shopping trip and perused street vendors with Leni and Diane while Claudie spent the afternoon entertaining Geo. I don't know what they did but I know it involved Schnitzel, feeding birds in the park and crafts. The next day we spent the morning at the zoo and aquarium and in the afternoon, we toured the historical sites and modern-day shops of the gay area while Geo fought his afternoon nap.

Eventually, Diane took him back to the apartment and the rest of us explored the wilder side of gay Berlin. I even eased up enough to dance with other people when Alex was otherwise occupied but at the end of the night, the last dance was all mine and I was all over her making sure everybody knew that every inch and blemish on her sexy body was mine to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Our dancing was followed by a smoldering make out session as her hand found its way up my dress and two fingers slid along my folds destined for my swollen clit. The last words I remembered saying before I found myself led from the dance floor to the bathroom were "eat me."

Moments later, my panties were ripped and her head was between my legs as she did just that while I tried to wrestle control of her motions between my muscular thighs but she refused to allow me to overpower her. We fought for dominance as each of us tried to prove who knew my cunt and how to best please it. I knew my refusal to submit in a fairly public place wouldn't end well for me but I did it anyway because I knew the end result would make me feel alive and less like somebody's mother and more like a sexually desirable, empowered woman. Alex ultimately reached a fevered level of frustration when even drawing moon-shaped spots of blood on my legs did nothing to dissuade my behavior she removed her tongue without warning and ordered me to clean myself up. She led me out of the bathroom and through the noisy bar.

Once we hit the dark, chilly night, she guided me down alleys until we stopped outside a dark older building that I would soon find out was a sex club. She nodded at the bouncer and quickly walked down a corridor where she flung open a door to a private room and snapped her fingers as she pointed to the bed. I knew better than to do anything other than lay down and open my legs, this Alex Vause was a woman even I didn't dare to mess with. She soon proceeded to thoroughly remind me that, ultimately, I was her pet as she tied me up and whipped me before going down on me until her thirst was fully quenched. Just when I thought it was over, she thrust her fingers deep inside my raw, overly sensitive pussy as I screamed and rattled the restraints she had tied tightly on all four limbs. She rubbed my clit with her thumb to get me back to where she wanted me as she kept demanding that I cum while I cried that I couldn't but she just laughed and said she knew me better than that. And she was right, she did. When I finally let loose the orgasm was one of the strongest of my life and I rode out its aftershocks at Alex's skilled hands as her eyes softened with each orgasm until my body exhausted itself. She withdrew from my center slower and more gently than ever. She kissed my lips before kissing the marks left behind from the restraints. We laid there a while, our naked bodies pressed together with her lower half nestled between my legs as we made out softly until she knew our time was close to being up.

At that moment, I knew that being so well cared for came with a price and she didn't collect very often but when she did it took us both to heights unlike anything else we had ever experienced before.

The next day, still high from the night before, we tried to stumble through the technology and history museums without Geo or Diane becoming wise to just how much debauchery had gone on the night before. I wore foundation on my wrists and a baggy sweater with long black boots so nobody could see where there were still marks from the night before. We managed to do some exploring of a few neighborhoods and go to dinner before crashing.

New Year's Eve was spent at a park and Christmas market before Alex and I, along with Leni and Claudie went to a house party to ring in the new year, well after Diane insisted she was fine staying back and having a quiet night with Geo.

I ended up underneath a drunk, high and hungry Alex Vause in somebody's spare bedroom before the night was half over. I was still sore from our earlier night out but the second I felt the bulge under her leather pants I knew I had to have it no matter how much it hurt.

"Well, what's this, Vause," I teased as she ground her center into me as we danced in someone's living room.

"A little something I thought you might enjoy. Cause I know my girl requires frequent feedings. With most girls, what I did the other night would be enough for at least a week if not a lifetime but you are different. I'm sure you are famished again cause that was just a little snack while supper's cooking for you. That's why you're my one special girl cause you both match and whet my appetite."

"I certainly am. But is that all I wet cause I really thought I wetted something slightly lower than your stomach. And you know I love it when you show off your tits and muscles in a tight lowcut shirt and wear your dick for me. You know how I feel about a full-service lover," I whispered seductively as I kissed down her neck while my hand massaged her groin like she could get any harder than she already was from anything in my power. I knew she liked it when I added a bit of realism to our play just as much as I did. It took things to that next level that only we could get each other to.

"You're making me so hard, babe. You look so gorgeous, you have a glow about you," Alex whispered before her red lips zeroed in on my sweet spot just behind my earlobe.

"I think it has something to do about knowing exactly what your big dyke dick can do," I teased with a mischievous smile and my normally blue eyes turned steel grey with lust.

"Yes and now I can fuck you whenever I want 'cause you can only knock up the same chick once every nine months under ideal conditions," Alex responded followed by grabbing my earlobe in her teeth and dragging her front teeth across the soft skin until I craned my neck towards her and she ran a finger down my neck as if she were making invisible map dots for spots to nibble at later. I could tell she still thought she was in control and going to emerge the victor in this round of our seductive dance.

"Mmm…listen to you getting all nerdy doctor cause you know it drives me completely wild," I challenged as I pressed my center against her groin, feeling the toy against my aroused clit.

"How wet are you," Alex asked as I kept pulling back and rubbing against her in the same spot while my hand snuck up her abs and massaged the soft skin underneath her tits until she gasped for air like an overly inflated balloon. I had her right where I wanted her and she didn't even know it yet. I loved turning her soft only to make her animalistic nature explode into what I thought was a fabulous fireworks display but that was because I knew how to handle the live grenade that was the soft giant goddess beast better known as Dr. Alex Pearl Vause.

"Figure it out, Vause. Prove to me that you are the sexually sophisticated genius you claim to be. I'm not going to tell you," I retorted with my finger wagging just far enough from her lips that she couldn't do anything about what I knew would be her desire to possess it within her body.

"Having a needy cock and a sexy young blonde getting it even more excited is such a hard life," Alex sighed sarcastically.

"Oh, well. Maybe in your next life, Dr. Vause, you'll be born a heterosexual pillow princess," I teased knowing the beast it would awaken. I knew the babies I carried deep inside me would be well protected so I chose to bring out the rough, angry Alex Vause in all her glory. She pulled me into a room, pulled my tights down then pushed me onto my back on the bed, she looked around for something to tie my wrists together but finding nothing grumbled loudly and opened her fly with a locked-in glare, revealing a flesh-toned decently sized packer peeking out of her zipper. She rubbed her crotch against mine, pressing hard against my hips when I tried to take over control.

"Don't you worry your pretty little blonde head, your slutty little pussy is gonna get every inch of my thick cock. Cause I'm the only one who knows what your pussy needs. I'm gonna fill you up so good."

"Baby," I exclaimed as she ran her mouth along my collarbone and I pulled her pants down her hips and ran my hands along the tight black boxer brief style harness that held the toy in while she smirked at how much I craved her inside me. I hadn't met any part of this combination before and that only excited me more. I knew that move could have backfired and sometimes did but tonight it added fuel to the already raging fire burning between our bodies. She reached behind my back mid-arch and unzipped my dress to access my tits but not enough for it to come off. I wanted her to get me naked, I wanted the only thing between my body and hers to be her dick but I knew better than to ask this version of Alex to do this, well unless I wanted to end up taking it hard from behind while I moaned loudly with every thrust until I couldn't hold my body up another second and she kept fucking me while I laid on my belly until she decided she was done. As she took my tender breasts into her mouth that scenario began to not sound so bad but I kept letting her do what she wanted until finally, I felt the head of her cock thrust inside me roughly.

"You're so tight for me. I'm gonna pound your tight, young pussy so hard. How does it feel, babe?"

"So good, baby. I love the feeling of my walls stretching around your hard cock. You know just how to please a woman. You are the best I've ever had. You make me feel so good."

"Is there anything you want me to do," she teased as she kissed my lips and worked her tongue into my mouth as she thrust more of her cock inside me and I begun to feel the veins of her hard shaft rubbing against my walls as her thrusts made my wetness increase until I was sure I was going to leave a puddle on some stranger's comforter, "anything specific you would like me to touch?"

"You know what I want."

"No, I don't."

"Is that the game we're playing? Maybe you should be wrapping that up."

Alex looked down at every swollen spot on my body and I could see every bit of the ravenous wolf burning in her soul as she grinned, "I'll take my chances. Unless you don't want to risk carrying my little cubs. I know I wouldn't mind if you did. I'd love to make you my baby mama. I'd take damn good care of you and make sure everybody knew you're my boo. The special chick who is carrying my kid."

"Don't neglect my clit and maybe I'll let you cum inside me," I commanded as she began to rub the swollen nub and lick my tits.

"I live to please women, babe, it's why God gave me the good sense to figure out how to procure a dick and utilize it for maximum pleasure. And your pussy feels so good, you've got the voice that could lead a ship astray and the body that makes a good lover want to give you all the greatest joys a woman's body can hold."

"Then why don't you try, I mean if you really are that confident in your abilities at making love to women."

"Your wish is my command, princess."

"Fill my pussy with your cum, you big strong goddess-queen," I teased as I felt the head of her cock find the sensitive spot deep inside my walls that didn't just make volcanoes erupt but created new ones. I moaned and cried her name as I came hard, my soft, tight walls fluttering around her hard, thick cock, holding onto the only solid thing it could find as the rest of me rode out the waves as best I could and Alex's breathing became heavy as we got so deep into our play that we searched for a biological impossibility until we both reached a height and I could feel the moment she would have came inside me if she could. With a few progressively shallow thrusts she slowly pulled out of my swollen cunt as I yelped like a still hungry kitten who hadn't yet realized she was full. I saw the glistening toy still standing firmly at attention and Alex's smirk punctuated by her still smoldering green orbs as she collapsed from exertion next to me and I knew what I wanted. I knew a way Alex would allow me to extend out this play just a few more moments.

"It's such a shame you are going to have to ruin your nice leather pants with your wet cock. I would feel so responsible if my cum ruined such sexy pants."

"What do you propose, pay my dry cleaning bill?"

"I have something better in mind," I teased as I pulled her shirt off and it took every bit of restraint I had not to give in to the temptation of her aroused tits spilling out of her red lace bra. I kissed my way down the center of her neck, between her tits, stopping to make love to her six-pack abs with my mouth before wrapping my lips around her cock and sucking while my fingers rubbed the wet spot on her boxers, feeling it become wetter as her cock slowly began to taste less like me.

"Damn, I hate why you're so good at that but I love that you are. And you always do it without being asked. Dicks and tits have one thing in common—they both need to be sucked frequently."

I popped her dick out of my mouth and nibbled at the soft flesh just below her navel, that spot where middle age had begun to settle in, "I'll take that as a hint," I teased before flipping one of the cups off to reveal her breast with a hard nipple straining as it adjusted to the air and settled into a momentary sense of freedom. I instantly took as much of her nipple into my mouth as I could and sucked hard, gathering more of her breast as she became painfully aroused and begun writhing on the bed in search of friction. I knew I couldn't finish her here so I did what I could to tease out her orgasm while encoding a promise to satiate her after the party was over and I could get her fully naked.

"I am going to lick your pussy till it purrs like a kitten when we get home," I promised as I ran my fingers through her sweaty hair and wiped the frustrated tears from her eyes.

"You mean it? But what if you're too tired?"

"Then I'll cuddle you until we fall asleep and have you for breakfast with extra syrup."

"I can't believe the things you come up with sometimes, babe."

"I'm perfect, a perfect, cunning linguist," I joked as Alex groaned and rolled her eyes at a quip I still found amusing but she was long past the point of finding humorous. It was an old joke to her but she still rewarded me with a kiss and a chuckle anyway.

"So clever. I mean if baby dyke is what you're going for and not sophisticated rapidly approaching middle-age goddess badass big daddy dyke."

"You are so not a big daddy. Badass andro femme dyke who is equally skilled at wielding a dildo as she is at matching her heels to her lipstick, sure but daddy dyke not so much."

"Keep telling yourself that, maybe when your pussy stops throbbing from my cock and your core loosens from the pounding I gave your insatiable cunt I might believe you," Alex teased as she pulled me into one last kiss before we put ourselves together and returned to the party. Alex grabbed the closest bottle of alcohol and took a big swig before bumming a hand rolled unfiltered cigarette and disappearing outside to smoke while I made my rounds and felt like I had the words "I had sex" written across my face with a black marker until she came back in.

At midnight, we shared a steamy kiss that quickly turned into way more than a kiss as we didn't care who watched us tongue fuck each other into not just the new year but oblivion. I made good on my promise to take her home and eat her out until she drifted into a peaceful slumber while I curled against her body, as even in sleep she recognized my form against her frame and wrapped her arm across my waist firmly.

We spent one more day in Berlin, wrapping up seeing the sights and Alex's friends, who all told me how great I was for her and glad they were that she had found me, before the four of us, along with Leni and Claude drove an hour outside the city to spend a night at the water park before returning to Berlin to catch a train to Frankfurt. We spent a day seeing sights and visiting friends of Alex's before flying to Munich so we could do a private castle tour and have an engagement/baby announcement shoot fit for royalty. I had on a cream-colored flowing dress while Alex wore a white suit with a black silk shirt and black boots and Geo wore a little knight outfit while he held up chalkboard signs one that said "Save the Date…Alex and Piper Wedding 11.4.18" and another that said "My mommies are promoting me to big brother" on the top line followed by "Two princesses coming summer 2018." We spent almost two hours taking pictures and trying to get a few decent shots of an increasingly bored and hungry toddler. Eventually, we finished and got our kid some lunch and took him to a playground while we looked on smiling, holding hands and planting gentle, chaste kisses on each other's lips or laying our heads on each other's shoulders until we decided it was getting cold and after a quick stop at a café for sweets and cocoa, we went back to Alex's friend's house.

We caught an early morning flight to Copenhagen after one last dinner party with her German friends. I was sad to leave Germany after eleven days in the country. I saw what Alex loved so much about the beautiful country with its rich history, gorgeous landscapes, food, and the exciting nightlife. Leni was right, once I got past my jealousy and saw that Alex only had eyes for me even if she had a past that I wasn't a part of I was able to truly appreciate everything she was trying to show me by bringing me to a place that meant so much to her, amongst people who were so important to her. During our trip, a few girls tried to hit on her but she always made it clear that she was mine and our family and to grow old together were all she wanted in the world. I finally realized that other girls wanting the love of my life and Alex wanting something easier and simpler that I was sure other girls more her typical type could give her were two completely different things.

As good of a time that I had in Germany, I was exhausted by the time we got to Alex's friend Anne's house with her wife, Sofie, and their five-year-old son, Felix, who they were co-parenting with their gay best friends who lived next door. I spent our first day in Copenhagen in bed, too exhausted to get out of bed to do anything other than walking a few steps to the bathroom. I insisted she take Geo and go sightseeing like we planned. I spent the day getting pictures and videos of their adventures in between naps and texts of "how are you, baby" with kiss, two girls and heart emoticons. She came home with soup, a couple of her favorite pork dishes (just in case I was up for it, she told me) and Danish pastries which I was definitely up for. After I ate dinner, she drew me a warm bath and read to me while I soaked in the water. Then she gave me a massage and planted kisses up and down my back while I laid on my side and we chatted about whatever was on our minds. I was a bit surprised when instead of joining her friends and the boys she chose to pull me close and cuddle with me as I fell asleep. I could feel her softly running her fingers through my hair and breathing in the smell of my shampoo as I fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I was feeling better and up for exploring. We went all over the city and took Geo to the zoo before returning to Anne and Sofie's house for a friendly get together. We spent our third day exploring gay Copenhagen, going to museums and taking a boat cruise before grabbing dinner together. After dinner, Diane took the boys back to the other couple's house so we could go out on the town, including going to the world's oldest gay bar and of course a drag show. We took things slower in Copenhagen than we had during the German leg of our trip and Alex realized that we didn't have to see everything, this wasn't a once in a lifetime vacation but rather an introduction to the people firstly and places secondarily that Alex loved.

We spent our last afternoon in Copenhagen touring castles, something that never got old and Alex liked slightly more than the endless trips to parks and zoos, mostly because my beloved could play out her every queenly or chivalrous fantasy and I had no problem playing the part of the only daughter of a king or high-ranking lord in her tales. Making out in palaces in three different countries with my tall sexy future wife would end up being the highlight of our trip, well that and our second night in Paris when we left Geo with Diane and took a leisurely walk along the Seine, taking in the sights before ending at the Eiffel Tower, where Alex had hired a photographer for a dusk photo shoot just the two of us. Sure, it was a bit cliché but it was still an amazing moment and felt so freeing. Not that long ago the thought of kissing anyone, especially a woman, at one of the most romantic spots in the world would have been so far from anything I could have imagined but here I was, kissing the woman I loved and was carrying her babies at that very moment in front of the spot couples of all types came to express their overflowing love for one another and solidify their commitment to eternal affection.

I didn't even need the fancy dinner at a restaurant where if you have to inquire about the prices than you can't afford it but it was nice to have time to talk over candlelight and reconnect as we started the final leg of our trip. The next day, we went to Notre Dame and a private tour of the Louvre, then took Geo and Diane to see the Eiffel Tower and Fairground Museum before relaxing for a couple of hours at Luxemburg Gardens before heading back to the friends we were staying with while in Paris. That night, I was feeling up to going out dancing with Alex's friends so we stayed out until one am imagining we were in Paris in 1928. The next morning, we woke up to our hosts teaching Diane and Geo how to make French pastries. After brunch, we explored Montmartre, went shopping on the Champs Elysees and to Angelina Paris before wrapping up the night on a dinner cruise with Diane and Geo, who was so excited to go on his first boat ride.

For our last breakfast before we caught the train, Geo helped our hosts make crepes for the two of us and his Nana before we headed to the train with a toddler constantly asking, "Momma, where we going," while Diane whispered "C'mon just tell the kid," to us but mostly me. They both knew who the sap was and who was truly the strong one in control of the Vause household. But of course, I knew what I wanted and that Alex would never dare defy me because I decided where she would sleep at night and if she'd fall asleep holding me as she kissed me until she fell asleep or crying into a pillow. I didn't pull the 'he's my kid, I'm his mother' card very often with either Vause woman but this time I did and told her, "This is the way I'm doing things because it's the way I want to do it. I only get to do this once with my firstborn and I'm going to do it the way I want." Before Diane could respond Alex commanded us to stop fighting and I could see the hurt in her eyes so my attention instantly went to the younger Vause. At that point, I didn't care if Diane went and told our son we were going to Disney before he figured it out on his own because comforting Alex mattered more than trying to actualize my vision of the big tell as I had seen in videos and been imagining since I walked through LAX and saw the families headed to Disneyland in California. Either way, he'd be amazed at the castle towering before him and throw his arms around Mickey at the first available opportunity. I never was sure what Diane told Geo while my attention was focused on Alex or what bribe she potentially promised and in the grand scheme of things I didn't really care. All I knew was that forty-five minutes later an excited Geo jumped up and down as we walked through Disney Village and passed the Disney store.

"Mickey, Mommies! Mickey! I sees Mickey! I sees lotsa Mickeys! An' Lego! Momma A! Mommy P! Can we go to the store? Please? Please? I pomise I won't ask for anything!"

"You promise, eh, little buddy," Alex asked as she lifted Geo into her arms mid-leap and bounced him in her arms as he giggled, "Really? Pinkie swear and everything? Cause I'm not sure."

"I do! I really do! Really, really, Momma!"

"We can go into the store for a little while but when Momma says it's time to go it means stop playing or you might miss getting to do something even more exciting and have to go sit outside for a time out while other kids who behave for their parents get to play."

"Okay, Momma," he told her before Alex put him on her hip and pulled out her phone. Seconds later, mine pinged with a text, "Take mom for coffee or a snack, meet me in the store in about 20," and a second text, "But don't let the kiddo see you." I texted her back a cup of coffee, a winky face and a kitten with heart eyes and as we headed our separate ways got one back with a kiss face and a pair of red lips. Diane saw me grinning like a lovestruck teenager, "What did Alex—no, actually don't…I don't want to know. As long as you two are happy I don't want to know."

"It wasn't anything sexual," I asserted as Diane shot me the infamous Vause death glare and I corrected myself, "Okay, nothing too sexual and what I sent her was more sexual than what she sent me." "Did you send her that heart-eyed cat emoji again? Why do people have to make things dirty that aren't? You know what Alex recently told me," Diane asked in a slightly hushed tone.

"Yeah, not to send eggplants or peaches," I responded in a tone young people used to infer old people were so not hip to the times and its current cultural expressions.

"Or tacos. Alex didn't even know that one. I send her rainbow lollipops sometimes when I know it's an inappropriate moment. It's fun. A recent one is the painting nails emoji. And there's one that Nicky told me has become known among lesbians as the fingering or fisting emoji."

"I still don't know nor do I want to know exactly what fisting is. Let me guess, it's not 'cause you have a fresh manicure that you don't want to ruin?"

"Pretty much. How did you come to know so much about lesbian sexual innuendos?"

"I raised Alex Vause before she became the mythical Alex Vause, sex doctor and sex-positive lesbian Casanova. In about nine hundred square feet, if that. And I had to decide what mother I wanted to be. There was a reason she always hosted her crushes and it felt like I finally had some power as I mother, I could do something better than all the mothers who looked down on me when it came to raising my child. I couldn't buy her pants that fit, I don't even think they made clothes for tall adults let alone kids back then but I could make her feel safe and empowered. And really, that's more important than anything when you have a daughter. Of course, I had to put up an act and sometimes never seeing the same girl twice got to me or the nights when my teenage daughter didn't come home and I knew she was with some woman who didn't know her real age. At the end of the day, nothing is more important than your baby being alive. The rest is insignificant. If you don't get the Instagram-perfect moment the world won't end but if you never hug your baby again, well you'll be wishing it would. I see you get bogged down in wanting to be perfect in other mother's eyes or have these picture-perfect moments. And I get it. Mothers nowadays have so much pressure on them coming from directions that didn't even exist when my baby was little. I wouldn't want to be a new mother today, be raising a little one."

"Did you tell him?"

"Does it matter? He's still excited. You still got your moment and there's so many more special moments to experience with him, my baby is nearly forty and I can tell you the firsts never end. All I'm going to say is I owe somebody some sour candy later."

"I guess it doesn't. So do you want coffee or to try and find a snack?"

"Did you see anything you wanted?"

"Not really. And I think Alex made reservations for lunch with the characters or a show, I don't remember."

"I could use a beer but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You do know where Alex and I go when you spend the night caring for Geo on this trip, right? The least of what I owe you is a beer anyway."

"Oh, so you're buying? What will people think," Diane teased and I playfully slapped her arm and winked before firing back, "I'm into older women and all, obviously, but even I have a point where it's too much."

"Yes, Nicky told me you have or should I say had a five-year rule. You kept to that one really well," Diane responded coolly as she peered down at my engagement ring and circled her finger in the air around my slightly rounded belly, "Unfortunately for you, I don't think my daughter had a rule other than is she above the age of consent in the country her and her prey currently inhabited."

"I made an exception, once and it's the only time I ever will. If I were you, I'd be thankful cause I'm the one birthing your grandbabies," I declared in a tone I had learned from Alex, both playful and commanding all at once.

"God, you might be more Vause than me or my baby girl."

"Well, I do have the first members of the next generation of Vause women currently in control of my brain and just about everything else that was once not long ago solely in my possession."

"You feeling better? I was so worried when you got sick our first day in Copenhagen."

"Yeah, sometimes I forget to slow down. Sometimes I forget that I'm even pregnant. I have the symptoms and am starting to get a belly but everything has been so mild. I wouldn't tell Alex, I don't think she would understand."

"It's normal. Even after I felt Alex kicking up a storm in my belly, I still had moments where I forgot I had a baby growing in my tummy or couldn't believe it. I think if you've never been pregnant you can't understand it. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby or the person you made her with or that you aren't grateful and thrilled to be pregnant and gotten pregnant easily. You know you can always come to me, Piper. And I will never tell Alex anything you don't want me to tell her. I might order you to tell her your own damn self but just as I told Nicky when I first met her, my relationship with you is separate if you want it to be. She has Red so she rarely takes me up on the offer but I'm the only one in your life who knows what it's like to bear a Vause daughter and keep her alive long enough to have her own."

"I'd like that," I eyed what looked like a bar and stepped in. Diane walked up to the bar and ordered a whiskey sour, like mother like daughter, I guess. I ordered my current favorite mocktail, a club soda with a splash of lime and a dash of ginger topped with lime zest. We ordered a couple of rounds as for the first time we spent time just the two of us and talked about everything about us but the most obvious thing we had in common. I lost track of time until I heard my phone ding.

"Well, guess that's our girl. I think I'm gonna mess with her head a little."

"I don't know why you two enjoy fucking with each other. I didn't think anything could be worse than Alex and Nicky's pranks when those two were younger but you guys are going to be married soon, you have a family."

"That's exactly why, mom, sometimes we need to just let loose. And it's a cat and mouse game," I told her as I texted Alex that I was buying a pretty girl drinks at a bar. She texted back, "u btr not. UR mine!" "But she's so gorgeous…she kinda reminds of you except not an asshole." "Does she now? Would this woman have dyed auburn hair and blue-green eyes? Could she possibly be the only other woman who answers when I holler mommy?"

"Possibly."

"I guess I'll make an exception then. That's the only gorgeous single woman you can buy drinks. You guys have fun?"

"Yeah. We actually got to talk. It was good for us, especially after our fight earlier. Has Geo been behaving?"

"Yeah. He's kept to his word. He's just been pulling stuffed animals off the shelves and playing pretend. I was mortified when one of the staff came over. I was sure he was going to kick us out of the store for making a mess but instead he got on the floor and played with him. He hasn't asked for anything. I don't think he knows he's at Disney."

"Mom told him. She confessed."

"He's three. It's an abstract idea. I don't think he's made the connection yet. He just thinks we're at a Disney store," she texted as I paid our tab and we headed to the store. Diane went to look at the sweatshirts and Mickey ears while I went to find Alex over by the toys. I pretty quickly saw my tall raven-haired partner. Even if I didn't snap to her like a magnet, I would still be able to easily pick her out of a crowd, based solely on her distinctive look. I walked up to her and snaked my arm around her waist before turning her around and kissing her hard.

"Hey. Somebody missed me," she whispered as she pulled me close and kissed me gently. If I hadn't heard Diane clearing her throat from just outside our view it would have quickly become very steamy.

"We are so going to fuck in a hotel bed at Disney tonight," I whispered against her ear as we pulled away from our embrace.

"Well, that's one way of thanking me for the thousands of dollars I'm going to spend in the next few days," Alex teased.

"That's all you have to say, Vause," I commanded.

"You know it's not. It's just nothing I haven't done. I've been to gay days at Disney World and well let's just say I'm lucky I'm still allowed in a Disney park," Alex teased as she dug her blue-black acrylic nails into my ribs.

"There really is nothing you haven't done."

"But there are still a few things I'd like to do. Should we get our kiddo before mom comes over and kicks our you know whats," Alex whispered as she realized just how many kids were swarming around and how many parents were attempting to shield their children from our rather overt expression of lesbian sexuality.

"Yeah," I responded as I rubbed her back, just to make sure any of the adults with their gaping mouths were still offended by the public display of affection between two women knew nothing they did could cause me to back down or force me back into the closet where I attempted to hide the best parts of me.

"Geo, time to go. We have to check into our hotel and then change for dinner," Alex called for our son who was stealing all the playtime he could get.

"We're staying here," he asked as he ran over to us and threw his arms around us excitedly.

"Yeah, baby. We're staying here for two whole nights! Remember how we told you we'd take you to Disney when you were five," I asked him as Alex looked on, allowing me to take the lead with our son.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, Mickey sent a letter with his buddy Santa and told us he was going to be in Paris when we were and invited us to come to his European vacation home. Momma and I talked about it and we decided since you've been such a good boy, we'd accept his invitation. We are going to spend two and a half days at Mickey's house. And Mickey's house has a big park with rides like Elmo's house does and we can go on anything you are tall enough for."

"Does this mean we no go when I five?"

"No, we're still going to see Mickey in Florida when you're five with your sisters. This is just about you. And then when we take you, you can tell them what it's like and help them be brave and know what rides are the most fun!"

"Why can't we go now?"

"Because Mickey isn't home tonight," I lied as parents of toddlers with no concept of time were often forced to do and hoped he would believe me, "He's going to be at the show we'll be at tonight. We're going to a cowboy show. I promise in the morning we'll go to the park before we even have breakfast. But you have to get up early and not be grumpy."

"That goes for Mommy too. Anyone who acts grumpy or whines about waking up at 5 am gets to stay in the hotel," Alex added as she kissed my cheek.

"But I'm pregnant," I teased as I stood there with my arms crossed and nibbled on my lower lip.

"Not an excuse," Alex replied with her trademark cool confidence and daringly cocky posture.

"Yeah, Mommy," Geo parroted his Momma with his hands on his hips like her. He had so much attitude but I had to admit I found it adorable, probably because it was in those moments that even I questioned how he wasn't biologically Alex's son or at least hadn't spent his babyhood surrounded by her badass persona. "Okay," I told Alex before turning my attention to Geo, "So I heard you kept your word to Momma."

"Uh-huh," he shook his head as a sweet smile that proved he was definitely my son, complete with manipulative cuteness and the innate knowledge of how to trick people into giving you what you want, when you want it.

"Mommy is very proud of you for being so good with a Momma. So I'll let you pick one small stuffed animal to sleep with tonight. But you have to be a big boy keep track of it for the rest of the trip," I told him as I looked into his eyes.

"Okay, Mommy. I pomise, I take the bestest care of it ever, ever," he exclaimed as he looked at the pile of stuffed animals next to him and tried to make an impossible decision on his own before looking to me for guidance, "I want the Mickey dressed as Stitch! But I also like the chipmunk one."

"You can get one now and if you still want the other one when we leave the park tomorrow night; if it's still the thing you want more then anything else you see, we'll get it for you," I told him as I knelt down and watched his lip quiver.

"Okay. I think I want Mickey. He's cool," Geo blurted out after a few seconds of turning his head back and forth between the two toys.

We paid for his toy, a couple of coffee mugs and little wedding-themed Minnie Mouse things while Diane paid for matching sweatshirts and everybody's favorite two sets of Mickey ears because Alex insisted we needed a different set for each day and the WASP in me couldn't disagree. We spent the next few days meeting characters, we went to four character meals, rode rides in various combinations, watched the parades and shows and of course, took hundreds of pictures.

Alex and I kissed in front of the castle and we took a couple of family picture of the four of us, including Diane with her hand around Geo's shoulders in front of us while we kissed, this picture would later find its way to our wedding announcement. By the end of our trip, we reluctantly left Disney and after one last lunch in Paris, Europe as a whole and returned to America with something deeper than the suitcase full of souvenirs.

We solidified ourselves as an inter-generational family and how that looked for the four of us. We all cried the morning that we dropped Diane off at the train station and Alex begged once again for Diane to move to New York but she still wasn't ready. Moving to New York, even if it was for her daughters and their expanding family meant retirement and she still felt too young for that.

The first few days back from vacation felt hollow but before we knew it, we were back to our old routine of school, work and hobbies. But we were never the same as individuals or a family after our European winter holiday.


	51. Chapter 51

**A/N: This chapter started off as one and turned into three...it's a lot of backstory and a bit experimental but hopefully you guys like the glimpse deeper into Piper's head...tw: it does include teenagers doing the things undersupervised teenagers tend to do (sexual exploration, underage drinking, inappropriate crushes)**

I was doing everything I could to resist the urge to pace and scream in an empty apartment as I wondered why I let her go out with Nicky.

One last legendary night out. I knew she needed it. Diane knew. Both my friends and ours knew. Hers demanded she come out just one last time before she joined the still relatively new legion of party gays fleeing Manhattan for suburbs and matrimony. But where were they at 12:30 in the morning?

Not standing here with the words, "I'll be home by midnight" ringing through their ears and a red-lipped kiss stinging on their lips from six hours before.

"You can come," she had stated in her cool yet affectionate way with her eyes locked in mine and burning with passion as she turned the word come into a sonata all its own.

"No, this is about you," I had replied as I swore all I wanted to do was hang out in a pair of her worn-out sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, the last thing I wanted to do was squeeze my pregnant self into a dress worthy of a Manhattan club and the heels such an outfit necessitated. I was exhausted and wanted to enjoy my wedding the next afternoon. I knew I could have a night of fun or do the grown-up thing and get some rest before I married my daughters' mother to protect the bond that the three of them already shared.

Alex had clung to her singlehood for nearly four decades. She had never imagined getting married and here we were, supposed to be getting married in ten hours.

Celeste had invited Diane and Geo to join her in her hotel suite near Central Park, "to give the girls one last night alone before marriage," my grandmother had told my soon to be mother-in-law and the woman who was quickly becoming my best friend. I wasn't always sure that was a good thing either but she understood me in a way nobody else, not even her daughter, did.

Here I was wondering where Alex was. Was some girl underneath her? Did she have some girl shoved against a wall in an alley outside a noisy bar? Did she have some girl propped on a sink or toilet and her head between her legs? Or had she pushed a head between her own legs because her pregnant lover was incapable of performing her role as lover to her complete satisfaction? Had she found some girl who prettier and fucking was less complicated? Where was she but more importantly where were those perfect lips if they weren't on mine?

Our lives had become so intertwined. How could they not? I gave up everything I had once been to chase her. I had put all my trust in her. I knew I was playing a high-stakes game but that didn't stop me from continuously raising the stakes just a little more. As I felt the heaviness low and deep in my abdomen, I knew the stakes couldn't get any higher than they were at this moment. Caring for one baby I could handle but I only had two hands and was about to have three children. I was horribly outnumbered but I loved my children beyond words, even if two of the three were completely unplanned.

I had never been more scared as I sat on the bed that I shared with the woman I loved. I had never felt more alone as the blackness of our dark apartment settled around me while dark memories from a past that she hadn't been a part of flooding into my head.

I was at about this point in my pregnancy with Geo when I told Larry, "I'm pregnant." He, of course, had the gall to ask, "Is it mine," like it could have been anyone else's baby. I was a lot of things but I wasn't a cheater. If I was in a relationship then I was with that person until the wheels came off but when I wasn't then I kissed whoever, whenever. I found people and their bodies and the responses my lips could elicit from them invigorating. I didn't need alcohol or ecstasy the high was so good. Not that I didn't use both, in addition to dabbling in other drugs throughout my adolescence and young adulthood.

I loved girls, the softness and the innate knowledge of one another and our psyches. I loved being the object of desire for a woman who had the strength and confidence I wished I had. I also hated them for the same reason. I liked that girls realized a woman's erogenous zones were not limited to that expanse between our legs. That penetration was nice but it wasn't a requirement for orgasm. Plus, girls didn't need to wait for their arousal to rebuild post-orgasm and didn't get flaccid before I got mine when there was penetration with a phallic object involved in our sexual activities.

I chose the boys who were like human puppies without realizing puppies grew into dogs and there were no guarantees as to the dog you would get. But I enjoyed the attention from boys and their muscular bodies. They fucked because it was what they were hardwired to do. I had been told I was hardwired to carry babies as if enjoyable sex wasn't supposed to be a part of that. And I enjoyed it or at least I learned to. I liked it when he'd get hard from hearing the moans of pleasure he would elicit from rubbing my clit while we were spooning and I would end up with him inside me while his rough hands roamed my body and made it clear I was all the pleasure that he needed. That my pleasure mattered to him. But those moments had also resulted in multiple pregnancy scares and possibly an actual pregnancy that I liked to call Geo. Add one more advantage to my earlier list of reasons why girl cocks are superior to boy dicks.

During my last two years at Smith, I had become increasingly interested in girls and less interested in going up to Amherst for parties with boys. I was fine with staying in Northampton where the girls were and go to cool underground queer parties far from anywhere my friends would venture. I would drink, dance and get to second and sometimes even third base but never let them fuck me, even when both our bodies were ripe with hunger for each other. I resisted. I had not allowed myself to fall. I was just allowing myself a moment of freedom before finding a man who could both please me and offer me social acceptance. I knew I could live as a straight woman and be happy, I just had to get some things out of my system first. I wanted to enjoy everything the world had to offer. I knew that I could still live a normal life where I talked about shopping, makeup and boyfriends. I could still know how it felt to fall in love, get married and bear a child that was a mix of both his parents. I was safe.

Even when I didn't correct someone who called me a lesbian and I said yes to dates where the other girl paid as our hands met over the check before she kissed me in the relative safety of a Northampton restaurant frequented by Smith students with their queer haircuts, flannel, and combat boots. I brought girls home and let me take me home where we would rub our clothed bodies together on couches or one of our beds. I didn't do anything with boys from age twenty to twenty-two and the longer I went without feeling a guy's hard body against my softer, leaner one the less I craved it. I didn't miss it. I told my parents I was concentrating on school in hopes of going to graduate school instead of going up to Amherst to meet boys. This made my father happy and my mother concerned that I was doing yet another thing that would reduce my marriageability and opportunity for motherhood, as if I didn't still have twenty years of fertility left, and moved to New York City fully intending to work for a year and then apply for graduate school. It's hilarious now but I actually had my eye on NYU.

But of course, that story got derailed when I met Larry and there was something about his lost puppy dog look and geeky hipster demeanor that was so simple at a time in my life when everything had been so complex, so complicated. When I was searching for something familiar in a new world, one I was truly alone in for the first time.

Larry's fingers under my dress, pulling down my underwear as he pushed me against his bedroom wall without asking a million questions first. He did what he wanted to my body when he wanted to and I allowed him to take the lead, I wanted it.

And that night, it was a welcome change. He pushed me down on the bed and pushed my skirt up as high as he could, completely uninterested in my breasts, which were longing to be touched, which girls always went for first. It was as if he was in a rush to defuse a bomb before it exploded and there was no time for little things like getting undressed. This was merely about aroused body parts crashing together. I knew I should be more careful, that I had so many other things to do and we hadn't properly discussed going from merely seeing each other in public to the bedroom. Did I like him sexually or was I merely aroused and he happened to be nearby with a hard cock that I found particularly alluring? As he undid his belt and pushed his jeans down to his knees then he knelt before me on the bed, I reminded myself this was what I wanted, simple and uncomplicated boy-girl sex with a guy who had just told me he was in love with me. But was I in love with him? Feeling like I was in love with someone had always followed a sexual act of some sort for me, so maybe I would know after we did the deed. I told myself that was it, I needed to sleep with him and then I'd know if I loved him.

He pushed my legs open and without looking between them, mounted me and grabbed my lip in his teeth as he rubbed his hard body against mine and started pushing his way inside me. It quickly became apparent that something felt different and it wasn't just that it had been a few years since I had sex with a guy as the head of his dick suddenly made its way inside me. I pushed him off as he kept trying to push forward, deepening his kisses and soft touches. I finally gained control and demanded, "condom. Stop. Larry, no. Please don't, we barely know each other." He replied, "You really must be new to the City. All the girls are on the pill. I don't even think I have any. It's not like you're a virgin anyway. There's no way you used a condom every time. Besides isn't there like one day a month you can get pregnant? And even if it did happen, you don't have to keep it. I would sit beside you at the clinic and even pay for the whole procedure," He declared as if those were the magic words to gain full access to my deepest places, the ones no one else had ever conquered. How romantic, just what every modern New York City twentysomething junior career woman wanted, a man who she out-earns by double willing to pay for her abortion, never imagining she might choose one of the other two options such a woman would have before her. The red flags were there and I saw them but kept going anyway because I wanted the love of a man so desperately and I confused him for one.

Instead of leaving and never contacting him again once he showed his assholey true colors like I should have done I swallowed his dick when he really didn't deserve it. I went to Planned Parenthood and started taking the Pill after going over my options. I hated every minute of it and he knew it but I kept taking them so that he could cum inside me freely. And when he asked me to move in six months later, it seemed like the logical next step in our relationship. Sure, it was soon but when his dick was flaccid, he was the sweetest guy I had ever met. He lived in a free-floating world of dreams that reminded me not to cling too hard to my routine or need to run the world. I loved the way he would smile, the way he would grasp my hand and kiss my cheek on the sidewalk. It was everything I had ever wanted. He loved me and I was beginning to love him. He was full of ideas and every day with him was different. He had a vigor for life and a desire for creative expression that I very much shared. Besides, it was what young Brooklynites did when they had a real boyfriend and two decent sources of income. We no longer fucked, we made love, the sex was slower and softer. He became the same thoughtful man I loved when we walked down the street in the bedroom. I had found a man who I loved, who I could introduce to my parents and wanted me to meet his. I could walk down the street with him and go to weekend BBQs together without worrying about who might show up. Still, I couldn't stop noticing women and they couldn't stop noticing me.

We were the cute young couple that adults gushed over and our friends admired. All my friends wanted to find a Larry and all his wanted to find a Piper. Maybe we were a bit too Bohemian for my WASPy family and their friends but even they admitted we were a great match. Except we had nothing in common.

But Larry didn't want to propose, well not marriage anyway. He wanted to throw out the pills and condoms that I had convinced him to use when the chart told me I was ovulating. He had overheard me telling Polly that the doctor told me because of where my BMI was at that unless I quit marathon training and put on a little weight around the middle then I wasn't likely to ever conceive a child. I had told her as an attempt to start a discussion about what a pig he was but of course, Polly's idea of a hard workout was hot yoga and advanced Pilates. She suggested I ditch the running instead of the man so I could have a kid the easy way. Not that we knew anyone who had been through IVF. Or either of us aspired to be mothers.

I wasn't about to let anything get between me and the sound of pine needles and leaves crunching underneath my running shoes and the feeling of the wind against my skin. I listened as he made his argument and I sat there, too worried about not being seen as a proper upper-middle class heterosexual young lady I knew I was. Again, instead of throwing my drink in his face and storming out, I didn't. I agreed as long as we used protection on my fertile days. I stuffed down my anger at being one of those chicks good enough to make out with or fuck or even have a kid for but I wasn't the girl anybody ever wanted a real commitment with behind tequila and white wine. I tried to remind myself that I didn't even want to be married, not then, not ever. The other side of me knew that was the highest level of being wanted by another person and I wanted to call myself somebody's wife. I truly believed that person also had to have a dick that came in the original box and wasn't detachable. I knew I would never meet another man as sweet, creative and sensitive as Larry, even if he wasn't an amazing lover. He was trainable and he wanted to make me happy.

I knew Larry could be a great father, he had such a gentle soul. Except, I had no actual proof and he had never shown any interest in children. In fact, every shred of evidence suggested he loathed their presence in public places. He was one of those guys who thought women should keep their bumps out of sight and not breastfeed in public. We would be sitting on a patio in Williamsburg having Sunday brunch and he would comment about how couples with children should stay at home on a Sunday morning and never bring their kids to a restaurant, especially if they were too young to consume anything other than breast milk. And at the time, everything I had been taught by my mother, aunts and older women agreed with his opinion so I did too. I went along with it, hoping one day he would realize that I was the one for him as I was sure he was for me. That when it was our cooing baby in the stroller or our baby crying for milk while we roamed the grocery store aisles it would be different.

But of course, it wasn't. Our baby was the most detestable of all babies and he didn't even like to watch me breastfeed on our couch or bring him into bed to feed. He'd grumble and stomp out of the room when I recognized our newborn's hunger cry and pulled my breast out of my shirt, if he said anything, he said I had National Geographic titties now and it was gross.

Then when I was left broken and completely certain I would forever be unlovable this unreal woman I wouldn't have dared to dream in my wildest fantasies came along and swooped me up.

For the first time, I didn't feel like a girl but like a woman. I wasn't unfeminine anymore, just feminine in my own way. To one person I wasn't imperfect or unlovable or anything else I wrongly believed in the depths of my soul. She never mentioned my tits or muscles. That probably wasn't out of any chivalry or gentlelady ness but because her tongue was usually too busy making love to one of those two things to talk.

And now she was somewhere in the City with some sexy redhead who was curvier than me, more womanly looking and who had an unspoiled vagina. Some girl who was more her type. Who was I to think I would ever be the girl anyone gave their name to? That I would ever be marriage material. I was the girl you fooled around with and if anything happened then it wasn't your problem, it was mine. I was the one who would have been told that she should have been more careful or kept her legs closed or not gone out dressed like that. Whatever happened to my vagina or inside my womb was solely my fault. And I couldn't say I didn't know exactly what I was doing. I was a naïve little lamb but I wasn't ever that naïve.

From the first time playing spin the bottle in fifth grade to the summer before eighth when the game became seven minutes in heaven courtesy of the beginning onset of male puberty, the boys didn't know how it worked just that kissing girls and thinking about boobs got them aroused. I knew exactly what I was doing, even if I didn't know what it was called, the first time I made the bottle land on a girl who I thought was cute and I had heard thought I was cute too. Her name was Addison. She was a little older with long dark hair always pulled into a neat ponytail. At twelve and a half, her body had already begun to blossom into that of a full-fledged woman while I was still waiting and praying for tits and hips. As if God rather than science were in control of what my body was destined to look like as an adult. She had beautiful hazel-green eyes and full lips. She never wore a drop of makeup and never needed to; teenage acne somehow had, as yet, completely escaped her despite her also being on the soccer team, in addition to field hockey.

"We don't have to do anything," she declared once the dog whistles of mostly eleven to thirteen-year-old boys and gasps from the mostly twelve-year-old girls died down. I just walked over to the coat closet and turned my head with fire in my eyes until I saw her follow. She shut the door and reiterated her line and added, "You know what they call me. Is that what you want? You're not gay. You are the blonde haired-blue eyed ideal who marries a rich man and gets fake tits and spends her days at lunches and salons while her kids are raised by tutors and nannies. While I move out West where it never snows and nobody calls me a lesbo."

"I like the snow," I argued before smiling and running my hand along her jaw, "and I like you. Why can't I like both? Maybe I'm not gay. I admit I'm probably not. I like kissing boys and getting them turned on. I don't know what I am. I'm not sure I give a damn about finding out. I just want to be free to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But I know what I want and I want to kiss you. I don't care if people talk. You know nobody will believe it. I'm supposed to want that life but I can't stop thinking I'm destined for something greater. I want to get an athletic scholarship to a women's college and then move to Manhattan and take a bite out of the Big Apple. I want to be the CEO of a startup that helps raise women up. I want something more exciting than the hollow lives of our mothers. I don't think I'll ever want to be somebody's mother, to have some man's baby and no matter how in love or serious we are, it doesn't mean I don't love him or that I'm an evil, selfish woman."

"You can be whoever you want. You are so beautiful and gifted. I mean I'd prefer to have you on my team but if you aren't, you aren't, you can't force it. You are going to grow into such a strong and powerful woman, I can already tell. So what do they look like anyway," she asked with a certain familiar adolescent curiosity that I wasn't used to seeing on someone who possessed a set of her own. I didn't say a word. Instead, I pulled off my tank top and watched her eyes scanned my bare skin. I could tell she had at least been expecting a trainer bra but found herself face to face with the tiny buds poking out from my chest.

"Maybe you aren't as straight as all the girls think," she whispered as she palmed my breast, her thumb rubbing across my nipple while she rubbed the soft flesh with an expertise I wasn't used to. I soon felt a current surge through me at this new form of contact and I let out a low moan I had never heard before. When boys had touched my breasts, it had always been about them and getting to momentarily peer at the forbidden fruit and get a sense of boobs in the flesh for themselves. It was a thing of curiosity about something they didn't have like when I would look at their boy parts, the hanging flesh between their legs that made them discernibly male. I found it alluring and liked how it felt when I could feel it get excited when it rubbed against me when we danced or kissed. I liked when it came alive from a boy's gaze on my body. I wasn't sure I wanted anything more to do with it but I figured that would come once womanhood settled in a little more, when it went from curiosity about the opposite sex and crushes on baby faced boys to falling in love with a man. Girls were supposed to give in to the normalcy and security only a man could offer. Besides, it wasn't like I felt nothing for boys or didn't find their physiques alluring.

I was lost in my thoughts and how the things she was doing affected me when I heard her whisper, "You wanna go to a real party after we get out of here? Mitzi's parents are out of town and her parents told her she could have a sleepover as long as it was only girls."

"Mitzi is the biggest dyke in our class," I responded through ragged breathing as her hands moved down my rib cage and to my jutting hipbones. I felt myself opening, ready to receive her hand between my legs. As if on instinct, I began rubbing my legs together not knowing why other than messages my nervous system was delivering my brain. Being with this girl and the things she was making me feel and do was so natural to me. I didn't need anyone to tell me what to do, I had an innate knowledge of what my body needed at that moment. Her hands roamed my abs as mine snuck under her shirt and felt her silk bra.

"Wow, even you know that," she gasped as I lost touch with my physical body and its motions.

"Uhm, I spend most of my time in between books and the field. Trust me, the girls I hang with off the field have no clue," I answered as her fingers rubbed along my shorts. Was this how I was going to lose my virginity? If I lost my virginity to a girl would I ever have a normal life? Or would I be forever spoiled and undesirable to boys? Where was the line that made a pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed girl too masculine and sexually undesirable? Would a boy ever want me or would the guys take it as proof to the rumors that the Chapman girl was a hairy-pitted, full bush feminist dyke, the kind of freak who only liked dicks if they were fake? Of course, at twelve I didn't know about some of the more horrific things dudes thought about lesbians and the power of their erections. I didn't know some guys found lesbians more attractive, not less. Yet, I already knew all I needed was the right man to prove to me that girls like Addison and Mitzi, definite full-fledged lesbians even in middle school, were neither like nor for me. I didn't not like dicks, they just weren't anything particularly special, at least not as special as guys thought they were. And I desperately wanted to know what it felt like to have a boy ask you to the dance over every other girl in school, to steal kisses during passing periods and take me down to the make-out spot. I wanted to be wanted. I wanted to know real love. And right now, even if it wasn't the way I had imagined throughout my girlhood, I was wanted by someone I very much desired for the first time.

"So, do you wanna? We could make these seven minutes last a little longer," she asked softly as her eyes checked out my sporty tomboyish frame that had barely begun to blossom into womanhood.

"Would it be like a date," I asked unsure if I wanted my first one-on-one date to be with a girl, even though I had just seriously considered allowing this girl to be the first to explore all of me, to stretch open my most sensitive, as yet unexplored and unseen places.

"Doesn't have to be. I mean I'd like it to be but I'm starting to think you're right, you don't belong here in some basement with a bunch of straight kids who will lead boring lives and settle into either their father's jobs or, more likely, the family's creative eccentric. C'mon, I'll vouch for you. We'll say you're questioning or you could try on a label for the night, whatever you want to do and I will support you. Nobody will say anything, at least not in the group I run with but there are girls who think it's their duty to out other girls," she asserted and I knew she really liked me as much as I liked her. She wasn't just curious to see how boobs looked or to practice for a girl she actually wanted, no she was totally into me.

"I'm an athlete. If I couldn't play at the elite level it would be worse than death. That's one of the few things I've chosen to be, that I like being. Soccer and running are everything to me," I told her as I clung to the only remaining reason to say no.

"I'll keep you safe and keep those girls away and maybe someday there will be a national women's soccer team with more lesbians than straight girls. And they'll kiss when they win like everybody else," she answered as her hand ran along my jaw and she pressed her lips to mine.

"Maybe someday there will even be a team romance for the ages," I added in an attempt to ramp up the fantasy created between two preteen queer female athletes who were limited to a couple of tennis stars from our parents' generation. The greatest player there had ever been in our sport so far was a straight woman and as far we knew so was the rest of her national team. The thought that the one who would take up the reins next being a proud queer woman was incomprehensible in that small closet in suburban Connecticut at the dawn of the Millennium.

"A baby dyke can dream. C'mon, let's blow this lame-ass party. There are better ways to spend a Saturday night then trying to figure out why dicks get hard and how to navigate braces when you want to kiss the opposite sex," she asserted. Figuring her out and what made seemingly normal, feminine, talented blonde girls go after each other seemed way more fun.

"You're right, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

"You hook up with a chick who isn't me? Down the road, you marry a chick and have her babies? You do something with your potential and make your mother unhappy?"

We left and walked to the party, I had never really been to a party, plenty of preteen basement gatherings and someone would swipe a bottle from parents who either didn't notice or didn't care. Nobody really liked the burn of the alcohol but the effect was worth it. At Mitzi's party, the girls were older and the alcohol sweeter. Girls were dancing and skinny dipping in a pool full of floating inflatable animals and colorful rings underneath the moonlight. Everything about this party was sexy and alluring. These girls knew what they wanted and how to get it, they had already found themselves and how sexuality worked, unlike the kids in the basement who didn't quite know how to tell a member of the opposite sex, "I like you" or "I think you're pretty" or felt they needed practice for the real thing. These girls, on the other hand, could go up to another girl and run her fingers down her abdomen and say, "wanna fuck" at thirteen or fourteen years old. I both wanted to be and be with those girls with their confidence that was only matched by their curves. They possessed a maturity and self-assurance that drew me in like the moths to the porch lights that night. But like Cinderella, the ball ended and my carriage turned into a pumpkin, except there was no princess searching for the owner of a lost glass slipper.


	52. Chapter 52

I spent the next few years making out with girls in the shadows, listening to dyke drama in the locker room and doing everything I could to get the attention of the boys I had crushes on. I went on dates and was picked up for dances by boys my parents told me were sweet as they took pictures of him holding onto me and me smiling with my eyes shining from being loved and accepted. I listened when boys assured me anything short of intercourse wasn't sex, all too often ending up with cum on my blouse as they groaned and smiled. It wasn't real and didn't make me a slut. I was helping a boy soothe his most basic need and he, in turn, told me how wonderful I was. I never asked for sex, I understood where I stood when it came to sex. I got praise and that was pleasing enough. Good girls didn't talk about such things, even amongst ourselves. Instead, we all shared tips on how to help make his orgasm better without mentioning we could have them too. I still went to queer parties occasionally, always being sure to call them team get-togethers or team-building exercises. Which wasn't a total lie since everyone got plenty of exercise at those weekend getaways but they did little to make us a more cohesive team, in fact, they may have hurt more than they helped given the dyke drama that often ensued afterward. At least boys and girls didn't stew in their drama after the inevitable break up. At fifteen, I greatly preferred the company of boys and my straight girl friends to the queer girls and their parties that I encountered through athletics, I wasn't sure I would play for the team my junior year. I still loved running but I didn't like the girls and the things being an elite athlete made people think about me.

I fell in love for the first time with a boy who genuinely enjoyed my presence at fifteen. He didn't act like I owed him anything when he brought me flowers or paid for a date. He was a perfect gentleman and a good kisser. We were two teenagers in love for the first time who wanted each other desperately. He had me against an arcade machine in his family's game room and I could tell we were both turned on.

"I'm ready, Drew," I told him through gasps of air as his body pressed hard on top of mine and I pulled him in so his lips were on my neck.

"Are you sure, Piper? I don't want to rush you. I want to be the one. I love you so much. I could never hurt you. I want to be the one to show you how good it feels. I know what people say at school but I don't believe it," he whispered as he nuzzled against my collarbone and inhaled the scent of my perfume, "And if you were there's no way you would know how to get a guy hard or want to find out. You aren't disgusted by my body or my kisses."

"Yes. We're in love and you make me feel better than any boy ever has. You date me even though everybody says I'm gay because of the way I look and how good I am at sports. I trust you."

He snuck me into his bedroom and lifted me onto his bed as I asked him to leave his desk lamp on.

It felt good to finally be good enough to be the type of a girl a boy I liked would want to do the real thing with. He touched me gently and offered me pleasure in all the right places before taking his pleasure. Still, all too quickly it was over and I was left feeling unfinished while he was spent and satiated. He kissed me one last time as his pecs rubbed against my tender breasts, a normally satisfying motion that at that moment felt so hollow.

I didn't suddenly gain the knowledge as to the mysteries of the universe and what it meant to be a woman. That probably had more to do with being a fifteen-year-old girl than anything else. We saw each other a few more times because he made me feel something and I had strong feelings for him. One night, I finally got up the courage to ask for what I wanted while we laid in his basement, still naked after making love, "will you go down on me?"

"If that's what you want," he whispered as he kissed my forehead.

"I've always been curious how it would feel," I responded.

"I've never done it before," he told me as his hand snaked its way down my belly.

"Me neither but I want to do it with you," I replied.

My skin tingled as he kissed down my belly with his dry lips and I felt the toughness of his face on my skin as his mouth worked its way down. As our first time having proper sex had been, this moment of intimacy wasn't what I had imagined it would be. Once again, the reality didn't match the fantasy. It made me unsure if I ever wanted that again, which maybe wasn't such a bad thing since in my young mind that would keep me squarely in the realm of heterosexuality. I almost breathed a sigh of relief that I did not actually enjoy the one act that I considered most lesbian, the ultimate act between two women. I was definitely not a lesbian. It would be around eleven and a half years before I ever asked anyone to do that again and I was so proud of myself but now I wasn't so sure. When he went to wash up and I heard him gargling and spitting into the water, I knew our time as a couple was nearing its expiration date. I just didn't know how to break it to him without breaking his heart. I loved him and enjoyed being with him in every sense but something was missing, we weren't fully connecting the way I imagined I would with the one I would choose to spend my life and raise a family with.

Luckily, a talent scout saw me at Nationals and couldn't believe that I was nearly sixteen and already beating the top varsity boys in the state.

"Hey, number 28, Chapman; right," she asked when she caught up with me and handed me a bottle of water. She was a gorgeous thirtyish woman with long dark hair and light eyes. I couldn't stop staring at her perfectly tanned, blemish-free skin, the lines cut by her muscles the only ones on her body. I should say that I didn't notice or like what she was doing as she stared a little too long at my ass but both of those things would have been a blatant lie.

"Yeah."

"I'm Theresa and I work for Millbrook Prep. It's one of the most exclusive prep schools in New England and we've been watching you for a while but you were too young to recruit. You're sixteen; right?"

"Let's just say I might as well be," I responded in that cocky tone only an overly curious teenage girl could muster.

"We have a top athletics program in addition to stellar academics that prepares girls for all the best liberal arts and women's colleges across the country. Our school is for gifted girls who thrive in smaller, single-sex environments. Are your grades as good as the run time you just posted?"

"They fell a little last semester and they've stayed stable during this one," I replied as I slowed down and fell into step with the most gorgeous woman I had ever met up to that point.

"Harder classes," she asked with a smile.

"Not really, I mean I took my first honors courses this year, they weren't all that more difficult and I'm registered for three AP courses next year but it's just that there's just so many distractions now that I'm in high school," I confessed

"Dyke drama? That was hard for me too at your age," she confessed as we walked away from the field and I followed her without any question from either of us.

"No, I met my first boyfriend over the summer and we've been going steady since homecoming. I like boys. I'm not gay."

"Sure, Chapman. But maybe you just haven't realized it yet. And that's okay. That's another area where our institution can help. You could figure out who you are without the added distractions and parental expectations of mainstream society. We foster a college-like environment, especially for our elite athletes. You will be free to explore yourself and your interests in a way you can't at a school where you aren't being challenged athletically. You are already part of the best public high school sports program in Connecticut."

"I've experimented with girls and didn't hate it but it's so much drama and analyzing everything. Boys are simple. And I prefer the feeling of their stubble against my skin, it's the natural order of things. It's the only way I'll fit into society and have the life I'm supposed to. I shouldn't be telling you this."

"But you did, Chapman. How about I buy you a smoothie and give you my pitch and if it's not for you then it's not for you," she told me in a confident tone that made me shiver. I hoped she didn't notice but her cocky smile said she did.

But of course, the school she worked for was everything I had ever dreamed about, it was perfect and they were prepared to offer me a full scholarship with year-round room and board contingent on maintaining a B+ average and winning on the sports field. It was unlike the prep schools my parents had been trying to get me to go to that were more of a charm school than a true college training ground. I quickly settled into the dorm for the most elite athletes where the only rule was to ace your exams on a Friday and win on Saturday, other than that nobody cared what we did. So it turned into a floor of under supervised girls all at various points of the queer spectrum but with the same hormones as every other red-blooded teenager. Once in a while, a parent would find out and the administration would tell us to tone it down but we were the reason college scouts wanted to come to observe the students who didn't excel in athletics so we ruled the school like football players at a Texas high school. It wasn't long before I spent the night in another girl's bed. I don't know how I ended up there just that we ended up underneath a blanket touching each other between the legs with our panties and nightshirts on.

Then college came and I accepted a scholarship to Smith. And it was just like the boarding school but with even more independence. Queer students seemed to outnumber straight, gender-conforming ones that I saw lounging on the quad.

I still remember her name. Jessica. The first of what would become a three-year string of almost firsts when it came to women. And according to Alex, when I lost my virginity to a girl but I didn't think it was then since she never touched my bare flesh in that most private spot. We had been spending a lot of time together under the guise of studying and improving our run time as if we weren't already two of the fastest runners in New England and on the Dean's list for our first semester.

"Piper, I'm going to kiss you now," she told me as I tried to make sense of a particularly difficult passage. Over the past few weeks, there had been stolen glances and covert strokes on warm skin, hands running up thighs and back rubs that went lower than they had to but went I stopped.

"Please," I said as her lips slowly met mine. Next thing I knew we had magically gone from sitting cross-legged on the floor to her bed. She was naked on top of me with just my running shorts on, still kissing me and I was returning every kiss with the same force and vigor. She slipped her leg between mine. I didn't say yes but I didn't say no. I had danced with girls and cuddled with them but there had been none of that. My body yielded to hers as her hand explored my body, avoiding my center as if she was waiting for me to say the word stuck in my throat, to state what we both desired. Her larger breasts crushed mine as our bodies rubbed together and we fought for dominance. I heard her moans as she placed my hand between her legs and instinct took over, quickly spreading her lips open and finding her clit, swollen and begging for my touch. I felt a charge run between our flesh like a plug in a socket as her moans became deeper. Whatever I was doing, she was enjoying it. I wanted so badly to tell her to make love to me, to let her take off my shorts and do whatever she wanted with my pussy but I didn't have the courage. She ramped up her amorous attempts as her lips began to slowly traverse my body, kissing every inch and humming when she smelled the thick arousal coating my panties. I knew what she wanted but I was still too scared to give it to her as much as my body craved it. I knew if I ever went down that road, I wouldn't make it back.

"I like boys. Sexually. Romantically. I'm not gay. I'm not," I told her as I came to what I thought were my senses.

"Stop lying time yourself, Piper. Maybe Polly and all those girls you hang out with and carpool up to Amherst with on the weekends when we don't have a meet believe you but nobody else does. You can't say you aren't feeling this."

"I like you but I can't. I have dreams and aspirations that I'm not going to let sex rip away from me. And even if you don't understand it, Jess, I do enjoy having sex with guys. I don't really see myself getting married but if I ever did, I see myself with a husband. I want a partner I don't have to worry about showing affection to no matter where we are. Being with a woman just doesn't fit into anyone's plans for me. I'm in love with you and I want your tongue between my legs, I want to feel your touch and for you to know what you do to me but I can't. That one thing you can't give me is the one thing I need most."

"As long as you straddle two worlds, Piper, you'll never be whole. Nothing changes if our generation makes the same choices our parents did," she told me angrily before ordering me to leave. I did and she soon met the girl who would become her college sweetheart and now her wife of two years while I tried to quiet the war inside me. I told myself since nobody went down on anybody that it didn't count as sex. We didn't talk again outside of following each other on social media and alumni pages until I got a private message on Facebook from her a year ago after updating my status to "in a relationship" upon moving in with Alex but didn't yet link a name to the announcement.

_Is it with that woman you became friends with on here three months ago before you suddenly started talking about going out on dates in Manhattan?_

Followed by a winking emoji and _I hope it is…she seems lovely._

I simply typed back the most explanation I could handle at that moment, _yes. _And the thumbs up and smiling emojis she sent in response were the only encouragement I needed to add the name of my new partner.

When I posted the picture of Alex and me with her hand on top of mine last fall, showing our engagement rings, she was the first to congratulate us and offer to help in any way with wedding tips. When I told her that Alex and I were going to start trying for a baby together she asked if she could ask how we were planning to try. I told her about using Alex's frozen embryos in my womb and she said she had been thinking about going that route with her wife and each carrying a baby from the other one but not sure it was possible. And after this morning when I posted a picture of an ultrasound with two babies and Alex's hands caressing my bump as I laid my head on her chest she texted me that her and her wife had finally gotten up the courage to make that first call to an IVF clinic. We were now in a place where we could help each other grow and maybe we weren't meant to be lovers but we had finally realized we were meant to be special to each other.


	53. Chapter 53

I had somehow managed to have the things I most desired from both worlds. I lived the life of a wealthy suburban mom and socialite yet still got to wake up in a woman's arms and with minimal convincing get her to open her legs for me. Even as mad as I was at her for being late and doing who knows what with some girl who was easier than me in every way, I wanted nothing more than to taste her, to feel her body against mine and giggle when she kissed my rapidly expanding belly from her babies growing inside me. To feel all the hope and love encoded in the moment when I would move her hand on my bare abdomen to where I felt one or both of them kicking. We bonded as women on an impossibly deep level from the hopes and dreams we had for the girls we were forming together and for whom we would take on the task of raising inquisitive girls into confident women. We both had a hand in creating our daughters. And we're able to share in something only women could do. We could form a life, to make that one life become two separate individuals from a single cell. There was something so primal and magical about the unique connection the four of us shared, it was beyond perfect and we were blessed beyond measure. Our daughters would never have to search for their soul mate or know the pain of a best friend's betrayal and they wouldn't have to search beyond the walls of their childhood home for strong female role models. In so many ways, they would have an easier life than their mothers. I never imagined having my female partner's babies but now I wondered what had taken me so long to feel the overwhelming bliss of the first of what I hoped would be many of her babies growing and making their presence known inside my womb. It may not have been the typical way to make a family but to me, it felt more natural than anything I had ever done.

In the cold darkness, I longed for the tenderness with which Alex would push up my shirt and caress my rapidly expanding belly. I now looked forward to the end of the day when she would talk to our daughters, especially now that I could feel the moment that they recognized her presence. Eventually, her lips would move downwards until I pushed off my unsexy pregnancy panties and her tongue found my clit while her fingers pushed their way inside me, stretching the extra sensitive flesh open. She was too nervous to stick her tongue inside me, worried about getting air up there and harming our babies but she made me feel so cherished. After she was done, she would grab the lotion and rub my belly and thighs before turning me onto my side and rubbing my back, alternating between fingers and kisses, while I tried to stifle my moans so I wouldn't end up with a toddler in the room wondering why mommy is hurting. After the back massage, she would get out the nipple cream and rub the thick white cream into my sore breasts that were more swollen than my first pregnancy, I hoped that meant they would be more up to the task of nourishing my newest babies than they had been with my first one. The first time I made a bottle of formula for my screaming newborn was just yet another time that year my body's failures crashed around me. Her fingers were soft and gentle as she rubbed the cream into my painfully dry, stretched skin and kissed my back and shoulders that struggled to adjust to the sudden extra weight of these over-expanded and yet still growing balloons strapped to my chest and the extra weight involved in growing two humans at once.

When she was done, I would turn over, still on my side but now facing her, and after making love to her breasts, I would rub the same cream into them now that she had realized they helped make her breasts softer, nipples feel more nourished and the wrinkles and stretch marks less apparent. She couldn't avoid getting older but she could keep it at bay just awhile longer. Eventually, my hand would find its way between her legs, welcomes by a deep guttural moan full of gratitude and satisfaction. Some nights I ended up on top of her if I had the energy but she never asked and if the moment ended in cuddling and watching trashy reality shows then she made it clear she was fine when I grabbed the remote instead of the vibrator from my drawer and asked if she wanted to watch TV.

Alex and I were partners in every way and it showed in the way that everything our bodies did was so drastically different from anyone who had possessed it before. She was my other half. And she could give me everything I thought choosing a woman as a life partner meant giving up.

It seemed like a lifetime ago since the first time my head was between her legs and I was looking at it glistening before me. She was curvy and confident, a real woman. I couldn't believe this was all because I turned her on. I'd had girls tell me I got them turned on but the tells weren't so obvious with girls or maybe they were. She was swollen and open in all the right places. Then the what-ifs started but I banished them by reminding myself that all I had to do was listen. And if I didn't like the taste then I'd keep eating her out until I acquired a taste for it because I wanted to be her lover and give back all she gave me. Not that I had anything to worry about, the first drop of her was like the first drop of tequila that same summer between middle and high school, before I left the school I had gone to since I was three. It burned going down the same way. My tongue buzzed from its sweetness as every fiber of my being cried out for more. And unlike that bottle, there was nobody to rip that glorious taste away before I'd had my fill. Then I recalled the feel of her clad in rough leather against my delicate dress or the surge when I saw her in nothing but a dildo and sometimes its harness, the feeling of the metal parts slamming against my ass as she pounded me from behind and rubbed my clit while I screamed her name and felt my knees turn to jelly until I let loose everything within me and gave it all to her. And there wasn't anything that I wouldn't give her.

I didn't even know my fingers had found their way into my sweats or that Alex had quietly let herself into the apartment until I felt a hand grab my wrist in the darkness of my, no, our bedroom. I started to push the shadowy tall figure off me as fear overtook my body and my instinct to protect the lives growing inside of me battled with my need to avoid the ultimate violation a woman could endure from what I thought was an intruder in my bedroom. That was until I heard a tongue click, it was a sound I would recognize anywhere and regardless of any and all circumstances.

"Alex! You're home," I exclaimed as I threw my arms around her and started crying, "I…I…thought you changed your mind. That you found someone better. Something you would rather have," I told her as I tried to steady my breathing and hide the sheer terror that had been welling up within me.

"Why would you think I could want anything other than this. How are my little avocados, are they making guacamole again," she replied soothingly as she caressed my bump before kissing my belly button like she were a fairytale prince, I was a cursed princess and she was the only one who could awaken me from my enchanted state. I started pushing her head down to the part of me that needed her reassurance the most. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I want to talk about it, Vause. Oh, believe me, we're gonna talk about it and you're gonna have consequences for whatever you actually did. But when I can listen. And that's not right now. As long as you didn't cheat on me."

"What fool would cheat on a woman as gorgeous, smart and funny as you," Alex asked before wrapping her fingers around my clit, "and with such a hot body," she curved her fingers along the rounding of my belly underneath my thermal top that no longer stretched all the way down to the band of my pants, always showing a strip of hairy skin and the ever-darkening line cutting vertically along my navel. She pushed my sweats down before I could say a word and peered down at my swollen center that shone in a deep shade of scarlet.

"Oh, there's been a few," I barely got out as all the blood in my body felt like it was pooling between my legs as she sucked hard at my engorged clit. Long gone were the days of thinking girls had nothing between their legs to suck. There was plenty, as Alex was reminding me at that moment. All I could do to stifle the moans was bite my lip hard until she came up for air and reminded me we were alone and she had the most expensive apartment in the building, so I could be as loud as I wanted. I tangled my fingers into her hair and let loose as her tongue worked its way along my slit and I tried to buck my hips but couldn't arch my back as much as I needed to. I trusted her enough to let her put her tongue inside me while I was pregnant but I knew I would have to risk commanding the great Alex Vause to do something in the bedroom and that was the only thing scarier than losing the two beings inside me who I loved so deeply.

"I want to fill your fucking mouth with cum until you can't breathe and everything you taste tomorrow tastes like me. I want you to make sure you never forget about the strong, powerful cunt you have at home waiting to offer you sustenance. I'm the only woman that has a cunt that can fulfill your every want and need," I told her seductively, with a mischievous grin.

"I don't want to hurt you," Alex tried to say coolly but her voice broke before she finished saying I and a tear built up on the corner of her eye. I could see the fear and affection but I was still mad and seeing her like this only made me angrier.

"Then don't. You have the power. You can choose to come home on time or not. You can choose to call when you are going to be late. You can choose to acknowledge the limitations imposed by my current condition and respond appropriately. Besides, it's kinda tough to breathe air up there when your useless, ill-behaved mouth is drowning in cum. You gonna fail to use your mouth properly again tonight, Vause or are you gonna give me what I want?"

"You are so hot right now. Damn, I love it when you get like this. You want me to tongue fuck your slutty, disobedient cunt then that's what you'll get," she hissed as she thrust her tongue inside my tight opening and searched for the spot that would drive me wild. I could feel her breathing heavily through her nose as she buried her face deep between my legs and her hands digging into my flesh. I tried to buck my hips into her face but the extra heaviness in my abdomen didn't allow it. I couldn't get her where I needed her most. And tears of frustration began to mix with tears of frustration.

Alex could tell I was struggling and found a pillow that she put under my hips without losing the rhythm of her tongue and fingers tearing into my deepest parts. And at that moment, she didn't have to say she was sorry or proclaim her undying love for me. She didn't have to, but that didn't mean I wouldn't make her do it anyway. It was so damn sexy when she groveled at my feet. But right now, I was in an equally powerful position as she did everything that she could to pleasure me without demanding anything for herself. This was about me and making sure I knew how valued I was. After the moment passed, she kissed me and I tasted myself along with alcohol and stale cigarettes on her mouth. I never would have thought that I would ever find that combination intoxicating but I couldn't stop kissing her until she finally pulled away, gasping for air.

"Mmmm…did I just out kiss the great Alex Vause?"

"You just might. And that's exactly why I have to marry you."

"Is that the only reason? Because you hate to lose?"

"Well," she rubbed my bump and kissed between my breasts, "Yeah. Can't think of any other reason. You know too much about the inner workings of Dr. Alex Pearl Vause, Pipes."

I playfully swatted at her, knowing that she had just listed the two most compelling reasons for her passionate love towards me in the best way she knew how, "Sure, Vause. Whatever. I'll just be here, gestating and shit until you're ready to use your words, smooshy. Your reasons for marrying me couldn't possibly have anything to do with not wanting to create another generation of bastard Vause daughters."

"Stinky butt. How heteronormative patriarchal Christian of you by the way. Thinking a woman must be married to have her lover's baby or they'll all be trapped living in limbo. Gasp, they'll think you are just another slutty single mother trying to keep the WIC checks coming by having a baby with a different partner the second her kid starts preschool instead of a Manhattan trophy wife growing an even better meal ticket in her perfect yet slightly used womb. I'm shocked," Alex teased as I socked her rose tattoo hard. "So, Pipes, do you really wanna know what happened tonight and why I'm late," Alex asked as she held me in her arms, pulling a thick blanket over my swollen belly as if our daughters could catch a cold from the February chill that I found soothed the burning of ligaments stretching again after four years and hating me for breaking the one promise of _never again_ I made to my body that had done so much for me over the years.

"I don't know. I want to be somebody that anybody wants to marry, let alone a wealthy, gorgeous genius who proves that brains and boobs can coexist."

"And you prove that sometimes the hot blonde girl next door is queer and kinky as hell. That we really are everywhere and every woman and all that crunchy bullshit other dykes from a different world than mine but one closer to where a girl like you probably belongs is true."

"What just cause I went to Smith?"

"No, cause you are more of an activist type and you would have been that no matter where you went to college. I very much want to marry you. I can't believe we're hours away from being legally married. That was never something on my radar. We were worried about the aftereffects of a much more tragic war and hate crimes when I was making my inroads into the queer community. We worried that if we went to a party we might die, if not that night then months later. Then the moment passed and we got older and didn't worry about anything. The battle for gay marriage was something happening off in the distance we could hear but didn't apply to us. We were too busy bringing back the glory days just before everything went to shit. And those same gays are still trying to keep the party going. Marriage isn't for the type I ran with. Do you know how many times tonight I had to explain why I had chosen to get married and devote myself to being a mother? They had enough trouble understanding why I wanted to study it let alone become a wife and mother. To join a different faction of the community. The life of grey pantsuits, ivory towers, and suburban mansions. The we're soccer moms just like you are kind of life. Believe me, the things I saw tonight make me glad I'm getting married and leaving Manhattan to join the bridge and tunnel crowd. I was already crazy to them for buying a place in Gramercy Park instead of some hip Chelsea loft or cozy Village duplex. I lived in the center of baby dyke-land when I was in San Francisco, it was fun but not something I wanted to repeat. I need to recharge after the party, not have it going on constantly outside my bedroom window. My friends prefer to live amongst it. Nicky was still making out with random chicks even though she claims to be in love with Lorna and I saw a million other such couplings that aren't headed anywhere and nobody really cares. I'm done hooking up. I've been done with all that shit for years. I have no idea why I felt the need to go out and do a little more research anyway. I tried to come home on time but my friends kept begging for one last round and I know I should have stood up to them. Babe, I know I let you down and I'm sure I don't want to download the tape of your mind over the past hour. And I'm sorry for scaring you when my sorry ass finally did sneak home. I can't wait to be the person lucky enough to call you their wife. I'm the one who should be asking if you'll still have me, this lone wolf with a little too much aging cocky asshole Rockstar encoded in her DNA. Who wouldn't want you? You could do better than me, you could give everything a woman can give a partner to someone else but I never could. You are it."

"I've just been the girl you have fun with for so long. I never thought I was marriage material. I'm good enough to fuck and for clandestine make-out sessions but I'm not quite enough to be the one you take to the altar."

"You definitely are," Alex replied with a hungry glare that shot through me and I was certain added a few more drops to the wet spot on our bed.

"But even you won't take me to the altar," I declared, unwilling to concede.

"Yes but I will marry you out in the open in one of the most famous parks in the world, so that's way better than marrying you in some church where random tourists can't just walk by and see two women getting married to each other," Alex asserted as she ran her fingers through my matted hair.

"Yes, and then do a double-take as they try to figure out if the little boy standing beside us is ours and if that's actually a sizable baby bump under my dress before shrugging it off because they have a fifth-grade knowledge of how human reproduction works, if that," I added as I covertly gave her the win on that argument.

"Yeah, 'cause you have an ounce of fat anywhere else. You are all belly and boobs. Besides you have that pregnancy glow and it's so attractive," Alex told me seductively as she tried to get me going again, "I love seeing how happy you are to have your uterus all full of my babies and that look of undying love you give me when I touch your belly or you wake up and admire your bump in the mirror, looking for ways it changed overnight, with your golden hair and creamy skin glowing but you think nobody can see."

"You are such a pig, Vause."

"Well, then guess its a good thing you like bacon and the occasional bit of sausage," Alex teased as she squeezed my thigh and placed her mouth inches from mine, lingering but never connecting as her eyes tried to hypnotize me into giving her what she wanted. I chuckled and that only gave her permission to keep trying and I wanted her but I knew it had to be after 2 am.

"Babe, we should get some sleep," I whined as exhaustion settled in and I could feel my bladder becoming painfully full.

"But I want to have hot makeup sex," Alex argued as she began to strip off her clothes, as if trying to taunt me with her black silk bra and women's boxer briefs, knowing full well that combination was my greatest weakness.

"Save something for our wedding night. You shouldn't even be seeing me the night before the wedding, it's bad luck," I declared as my resistance faltered at the contrast of alabaster skin and black underwear on a tall woman whose face and hair still looked flawless even after a night out and fucking her woman. This woman was not human, of that much I was certain.

"What, it's not like I can get you any more pregnant than you already are," Alex teased as she crawled on the bed and kissed me with her ass in the air as my hand reached out and grabbed a handful of hard, round flesh through her tight underwear.

"How about a makeup cuddle? Maybe you'll finally feel one of them kick," I told her once I realized what I was doing and where it would inevitably lead, Alex getting an orgasm and a good excuse to gloat as if she needed either.

"That's still a couple weeks off," Alex said with a forlorn tone as she crawled off me and rummaged through my sweats because while I could stop her from getting sex but couldn't really stop her from wearing my clothes that were in the dresser she paid for. I knew she couldn't wait to feel her daughters moving in my belly. And they moved all the time. These girls were more active in my belly than their brother had been. They weren't afraid to take over my body and be demanding. They danced and tumbled through space like it was never-ending and I hoped they always would. But I knew the chances were slim no matter how much girl power the women who would raise them instilled in them.

"Well, Dr. Vause, sometimes movement can be felt earlier in subsequent pregnancies and with multiples, but I don't need to tell you that," I answered as I looked into her eyes and ran my hand along her back.

"No, you don't. The logical doctor says it's impossible but the mother who once held the first piece of them inside her lives for the day. And you're right, we need our beauty rest. I don't want to look too much like the Bride of Frankenstein tomorrow. I'd rather it not be too obvious that I waited until I was an old hag to get married."

"Yes, you'll be the Bride of Frankenstein and I'll be the preacher's wayward young daughter who experimented with sex with the town bad boy and got herself in a family way cause nobody told her nothin' 'bout birth control just to resist temptations of the flesh. Role-playing even at our own wedding."

"Oh well, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, does it? We're in love and expressing that love in every way we know how. I love you, Piper Elizabeth Chapman. For the last time I love you, Miz Chapman."

"I love you too, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause. Did you decide to join your wife and kids and take my name as a second middle?"

"Yes and I am, I will. In my personal life, I'll be Alex Pearl Chapman Vause. It'll be nice to have two different names for my two vastly different lives."

"And I'll be Piper Elizabeth Chapman Vause. The Vauses forever."

"The Vauses forever," Alex declared as she slowly allowed her eyelids to droop and her body succumbed to sleep as she pulled me in as closely against her body as possible.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Hope you guys have some rice ready and are wearing your best worst bridesmaid dress cause it's time for a Vauseman wedding...this story is reaching its conclusion but if there are any specific pregnancy scenes you want there might still be opportunities to prolong the inevitable and I have a sequel idea with Alex as narrator (the foreshadowing of my potential ideas are buried throughout this fic)...hope you like the first of two Vauseman weddings in this story! I love reading all your comments, I both improve and they make me smile when I'm having a hard day)**

The next morning, I woke up to Alex's hand dipping dangerously below my waist as her breasts pressed hard against my back. I decided to see where she was going to take this and act like I was still asleep. If this was going to be the last time that I had sex outside the bonds of marriage then I was going to make sure it was as good as it could be. I let her go past kissing my shoulder to nibbling as her hand pushed its way between my legs, I gave her a bit of a fight without letting her know I was playing.

"What's wrong, babe? Did the little embryo that could decide that splitting in two wasn't enough revenge on her mommies? The sort that hold signs outside pride parades and women's clinics finally get to her and she feels the need to tell us how against nature everything we're doing is? You think she'd be grateful I finally let her out of the freezer. Or is this not about her at all, are you still mad about last night?"

"No. I'm not happy about you staying out late and not at least telling me, making me worry you were cheating on me with some skinny redhead who isn't fat and ugly with a stretched out vagina."

"God, when your imagination runs wild it goes crazy, Pipes. You are the hottest woman alive and you aren't fat, you are the woman I chose to carry my child because I love you and your sexy body even more now that it is growing the children I have dreamed about for so long. Out of all the women in the world, I chose you to carry my children and to be the woman I spend the rest of my days with."

"So much that you ruin it at the first available opportunity?"

"You are sexier now with your swollen tits and round belly," she whispered in a voice that was extra husky thanks to morning dryness as she massaged the blonde's breast with the hand that wasn't tangling through the downy patch of hair covering her pubic bone, "And the bigger your belly gets the more I want to cherish you and protect you. I don't want some skinny young thing, I want the woman bringing my children into the world. You are special and amazing."

"You sure you aren't just saying that cause you want to get into my pants?"

"Well, you aren't wearing pants, so, no," Alex deadpanned, "I love you. I just want the first thing you feel on the biggest day of our lives is pure bliss."

"I don't know if it's the biggest day, I think that'll be the day I bring these two little girls into the world."

"Biggest so far. Now would you let me do what I do best and make love to you?"

"Can't wait a few more hours to have me?"

"I think it's pretty obvious I'm not good at waiting to have what I want," Alex teased as she rubbed my bump with a certain gentle seduction I wasn't sure what to make of, it felt so good but so wrong all at once but they were our babies and it made me feel so sexy.

"You are so naughty."

"Who? Moi," Alex asked sarcastically as her eyes shined and she feigned a shocked expression.

"What you're doing right now shouldn't be doing what it's doing to me," I responded as a chill ran down my body that I knew wasn't just my body adjusting to the February morning.

"What? I'm just rubbing your belly," Alex said with a playfully seductive tone as she pressed her hand between my belly button and center.

"Where our daughters happen to be residing and it's making me so wet. And you wouldn't be doing it if I weren't carrying your children."

"You know I've always loved your sexy abs," Alex's hand slowly moved along my hip and rubbed across my upper leg as she found her way to my inner thigh as she nibbled from my earlobe to my collarbone, "Almost as much as I love your runner's legs. I love your strong muscles. I was never into athletic girls but now I know what I was missing. What do they say, blondes are more fun," Alex teased as I rolled my eyes and she smiled, her way of saying she knows she misstated a common expression from one of her idols, "You are a smart, sexy angel."

Any fight I had in me dissolved at that moment as I turned my head for a kiss, "I need you, you seductive goddess."

And with that, I felt her breasts rubbing against me as one hand reached around my body massaged mine and the fingers on the other tore through my folds. I needed her mouth on my breasts and to feel her on top of me. To see those green orbs and the love overflowing from them as I fell deeper into the abyss that was my own pleasure. I started rolling over and once we were facing each other I guided her mouth to my breasts.

I sighed once I felt her tongue gently toying with my nipple and cried her name as she showed me every bit of love that she had inside for me. She didn't speak any words; she didn't need to. The things she was doing to my body as she worked her way inside me and her body on top of mine as I worked a leg between hers and a hand of my own found its way to her center spoke volumes until even she was moaning my name and making deep guttural, animalistic noises as we fed off each other's pleasure until we finally came up for air. I could feel the babies fluttering wildly in my belly as my heartrate equalized and without a word, she massaged my belly until they settled back down as well.

"I could wake up like this every morning."

"All it takes is two little words and I will so make good on that, babe."

"Promise?"

"Every morning you want it, no matter where I am. We'll find a way to make it work. And from now on, I'll set a reminder on my phone if I know you are expecting me. I'm not used to having anyone to answer to but I'm glad I have you."

"We're past that. And I'll work on not going to the worst possible conclusion instantly and spinning out. Phones work both ways, I didn't try to contact you either."

"Do you know the things my inner gangster badass thinks about doing to everyone who has ever done you wrong? How can anyone hurt such a sweet-hearted angel? I love your little toothy grin and those sparkling blue eyes. I've never seen a shade of blue quite like yours."

"Save it for the altar, Vause," I told her with a playful swat as she became uncharacteristically poetic, "I'm supposed to meet my brother in an hour and then we're going to go over to the hotel."

"Yeah and assuming she remembers, Nicky is supposed to come over soon. She was getting pretty heavy with these two blondes."

"You can always call one of the ladies, they would drop everything to help us," referring to our new crew of Jewish mom friends who had provided us an inroad into Manhattan's upper-class lesbian mommy community.

"It's not the same. She's like my little sister. I'm growing up and trying to bring her with me. Every time I think she is, she does something like what she did last night. I know she loves Lorna but she is still sleeping around and getting drunk. Probably doing lines too because she thinks her only problem is heroin."

"That was hard for me too when I had Geo and Cal was still into being nineteen and carefree. When I was pregnant with him and feeling like my life was over while his was just beginning but he felt he had to be this man I never asked him to be, it was so hard. I just worry that someday he's going to look back and feel like he wasted his twenties helping raise his nephew, even though I never asked him to. Nicky will show, Al. And hey, maybe seeing you get married and have babies of your own will be the kick in the ass she needs to choose a side when it comes to settling down, her and Lorna are pretty cute together. Don't worry, she'll be there. You just concentrate on Alex and getting ready to stand before our family and proclaim your undying love for the woman you want to make love to every morning and caress her baby bump every chance you get."

"Mmm…yes," she locked lips with me softly and tangled her fingers through my messy morning hair, "Hey, I haven't," she started before placing her hands on either side of my bump and pushing my top up then knelt her head down to kiss my bump.

When she looked up, I stomped my feet and pouted, "You know I have two babies in there. Two babies means two kisses, Smooshy."

"Why couldn't you be happy being one little girl, why did my genetic experiment have to do an experiment of her own," Alex teasingly asked my bump as she rubbed by where Baby A was resting.

"Cause she's your daughter, she doesn't know how to exist without another girl's body against hers. She doesn't want to be lonely. And we don't know which baby is the original embryo. Now stop playing favorites."

"Geo will always be my favorite. But I love my little girls, I can't wait to see them again in two more weeks. I hope they look like me. So far, they've only ever looked like little alien monkeys. Oversized heads and a weird eye on a too tiny body. I just want to see myself in my babies. I'm starting to have this nightmare that all the embryos that take will look like the donor and nothing like me. I mean if I were to consider fucking a dude for free it would be him but that doesn't mean I want my hard-earned money going to raise little versions of him that don't so much as bear a passing resemblance to me. Or I worry that they implanted the wrong embryos entirely. I'm a doctor and I know better but I still have those crazy what-ifs in my head."

"They had better be yours, I'm not going through this to deliver somebody else's babies," Piper responded as Alex kissed the other side of her bump and then ran her tongue along the dark vertical line along my navel. "Stop, you're gonna get me going and I really don't want to be late to my own wedding because I was having sex."

"But after we say our I dos this sexy body is all mine and you don't get to say no."

"So it's like every other Wednesday then," I teased as I pushed her off me and headed to the shower, "And what year are we living in?"

"1952, where you can fuck your wife and keep her belly full and nobody says a damn thing, especially not her," Alex teased as she pulled me back and I punched her hard and she cried, "Kidding! Kidding, Pipes. We're living in 2018, where a woman can kiss and fuck whoever, whenever she wants and can put red-headed babies in her woman until they run out embryos or they are forced to consider buying a bus. At least it would show the Evangelicals we can raise an army to conquer theirs."

"How you perfectly toe the line between complete chauvinistic asshole and powerful, loving feminist warrior dyke never ceases to astound me," I teased as I snuck a quick kiss and my hand pulled down her sweats.

"I am not a feminist," She hissed as she threw her, my sweatshirt across the room in a temper tantrum as ridiculous as a toddler who didn't get the flavor of ice cream she wanted but got her favorite instead.

"Sure, you're not. Yeah, you wouldn't know a feminist if one bit you," I teased as I rolled my body on top of her naked one as gracefully as a woman four months pregnant with twins could.

"Wanna test that theory, Pipes? I mean if you really believe in your opinion so damn much."

"How would you propose I test my hypothesis, Dr. Vause?"

"Bite me," she said in that cool, commanding way that brought most girls to their knees but made me burn with the desire to consume every part of her.

"Well, I don't want to start my marriage by denying my woman a simple request," I sucked on her neck as she tried to push my head down and giggled between breaths when I realized just how much she actually thought I would give her a hickey that our mothers and my grandmother could see. Geo was already convinced there was a mutant bug in our room, which served a dual purpose of explaining away the marks left behind when our play went a little far and keeping him out of our room unless invited. I dipped my head down and bit her nipple as I felt her abdomen stiffen before a deep, animalistic moan freed itself from her diaphragm. When I finally came up for air I grinned and nibbled at my lip, "So, Dr. Vause, what are the results of our experiment?"

"I don't know. I think the subject requires another experiment."

"Oh, does she. Not convinced or did she enjoy being bit by a woman who spent her late adolescence steeped in feminist institutions and is all into natural feminine beauty and the essence of womanhood a little too much."

"Guess," Alex husked as she tried to hold on to her last remaining shred of pride.

"I don't have to, your face says it all, Baby," I squeezed on that pad of fat along her midsection, the only thing on her body that screamed middle-aged woman, "My squishy, smooshy widdle bwabwee with her soft belly."

"Yeah guess you aren't the only one in this relationship with an alien inhabiting her midsection."

"Yes, except I welcome the presence of my alien."

"And yours is temporary. One day you too will get old, Missus Vause, and I will tease you about the five pounds on your waist no amount of exercise can get rid of."

"If I don't fuck you so hard your battered heart gives out first."

"I think I have an insurance policy or two against you doing that," she teased as she rubbed along the curve of my lower back and my ass that had doubled in size in response to my tits doing the same.

"So cocky, Vause. Let's see if you can be this cocky with my young, virile Stallion-sized cock pounding your useless little old lady pussy. Can you even still get wet on your own? I'm gonna split you open so far you break a hip from opening your legs so wide," I hissed as I slowly teased her slit and rubbed her clit until she begged me to stick the dildo we kept by our bed for such moments inside her while I made love to her tits and I rubbed my center against her leg.

"You are such a tease, Missus Vause," Alex hissed as her body trembled.

"How so," I taunted as my finger rubbed in circles around her opening, teasing the edge with the smallest bit of my fingertip.

"You promised to fuck me like an old bitch in heat."

"I think I suggested that you were too old to be in heat."

"Yes, then explain why we're in the lovely stage of a lesbian relationship where you buy prenatals and tampons in the same transaction as some kid working their way through college gives you a confused look?"

"Could be worse, you could buy condoms and prenatals."

"Why do I get the feeling that you've done that?"

"Cause it's a very Piper Chapman-esque thing to do," I replied as I nipped her lips to punish her for teasing me about just how bad I was at being a straight woman.

"You are a ridiculous human, now fuck me like a woman should be fucked."

"A woman like you or a woman like most?"

"How about like a woman on her wedding day who knows a due date is a due date and there's no way of knowing at what point the seed was planted inside her."

"Mmmm…I like how your dirty mind thinks," I teased as I kissed her while grabbing for the dildo we kept in a drawer by our bedside and thrust it deep inside her in one forceful motion as she screamed. I kept thrusting hard, pulling halfway out and ordering her to say my name as I slid my center along her leg, taking mine while I gave her hers then slamming the toy back inside her until I felt her fighting the urge to cum around a cock in her pussy. I pressed my center against her swollen clit as I let the toy rest inside her and my hands roughly massaged her nipples. "You asked for this, Vause. Now be a dutiful little wife and cum for me. We both know you like the feeling of your tight cunt filled by a thick cock. If I could blow a load inside you, I would be so close. We might as well cum together on our wedding day," I rubbed my hand along her side until I felt her muscles loosen and the part of her that she was holding back was released from its cage. When I was done with her, she grabbed the dildo I had flung to the side of us while I cuddled on top of her and turned it on me, reaching around my ass with one arm, running the toy along my ass while the other held me in place on top of her, as if I had any desire to escape what I knew she was about to do to me. She could fuck whichever hole she wanted and after teasing the first opening she came upon she settled for the second while her knuckles rubbed against the tender flesh between my two holes.

"Did fucking your top into submission turn you on," she asked as I easily took her cock inside me and let out a noise that could best be described as a cross between a sigh and scream as I felt my flesh stretch around the bulbous head of the still wet toy.

"Do you really need to ask? You're down there."

"No, I don't. You are so open and drenched. I wish I had access to a bigger cock right now but this little shrimp will have to do. He's a lucky boy. The school nerd who got to fuck the hottest girl in school on the most important day of her young life."

"It's not the size of the dick that matters when pleasing a woman, it's whether or not the person wielding it knows what the fuck they are doing."

"God, you need to take up needlepoint cause I would love to see that in flowery pink thread on my wall. A regular little inspirational quote. Like everything is a dildo if you're brave enough surrounded by vegetables."

"Funny, babe. I have been thinking about taking up crocheting and sewing, especially now that I'm having daughters. And the thought of putting them in cute little homemade bonnets and pink blankies is so alluring. And if they get your perfectly round head I know I'm going to need to learn how to make headbands and ribbons."

"And to think you got on my case for saying we were living in 1952. Not that I mind a homecooked meal and coming home to a pack of daughters who look just like me, a son who looks like you in homemade clothes. Now be a good little wife and let me fuck you until you can't take it anymore. I already got you knocked up so I know my teeny small but mighty weenie works."

"Well, it doesn't work that good, it only put a girl in me."

"First, it put two girls in you and second, making girls is way harder. Those sperm have to fight twice as hard to outswim the heartier, faster boy sperm," she teased as she thrust inside me and held me tight against her body.

"Yeah like you had anything to do with it. They aren't fraternal."

"You know I had everything to do with it. Now cum so I can make an honest woman out of you before everybody figures out that the oven in our kitchen wasn't the only place somethin' was cookin' in the Vause house at our Friendsgiving dinner."

"Yes, turkey and giblet," I teased, using a name that we jokingly called our babies, every time warning the other one to be careful or it would stick. I could hear our adolescent daughters groaning now. I had never been one for cutesy food-related nicknames for fetuses but much to my surprise I quickly found out the women's healthcare practitioner I had chose to mate with did. But of course, I really shouldn't be that surprised, the love of my life was passionate about vegetables in every way possible.

"They're my little avocados. This week, anyway."

"Okay, Tortilla chip."

"I like Smooshy better."

"Mushy tortilla chip."

"Oh, you are about to get it," she hissed as she nipped my lower lip between every word as she began fucking me harder. I was so close to the big explosion when my phone started ringing for the third time and I tried to escape from her clutches.

"Baaa-bbbeee, just ignore it one more minute, the master is about to finish her latest piece."

"I know but what if something's wrong with the kiddo? If I was too busy orgasming with my hot lesbian lover to care that our son is like in the ER nearly dead."

"If that were true you know my phone would be going off too. Now let me finish."

"No, Al. I have to pick up the phone."

"If that's the way you want it, Missus Vause, go ahead," she smiled with the only Vause expression I hadn't yet acquired full immunity to. It burned through my soul but I liked to think of myself as dutiful and responsible so I grabbed the phone while Alex did everything in her power to accomplish her goal. I quickly glanced at the name showing in my missed call notification. Cal. This was not going to be fun.

"Hi, baby bro."

"You're alive."

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be," I asked trying to be cocky and not scream in ecstasy as Alex hit all the right spots. She would soon be stuck with me for the rest of her life so I had plenty of time to come up with an appropriate punishment for her behavior and when I did, she would live to regret the things she was doing. But I could tell by the looks she was giving me she was proud of herself and was confident she could handle whatever punishment I felt fit this capital offense.

"Cause I've been calling you for like fifteen minutes."

"I finally got to sleep at 4 am."

"God, it must be fucking weird to have a human being growing inside you. I can't imagine."

"Guess it's a good thing you are lacking the necessary plumbing. It's cool though. It's reassuring to know they are in there and okay. That they are getting bigger. I'm almost looking forward to when the weekly orgasms start and if I make it to 32 weeks then they'll be every other day since they share a placenta."

"Look at you, maintaining a conversation and shit. I'm almost offended," I heard Alex whisper in my ear before nipping at my ear and then running her tongue along my sweet spot. I couldn't stifle my aroused laughter as she went nuclear.

"Is Alex there? Isn't that like bad luck?"

"Yeah, but since when did I follow convention? I already let her put her baby inside me. No matter what she's not going anywhere. That's some sort of patriarchal bullshit from when women were a commodity to be bought and sold through marriage to secure a larger kingdom. She's seen everything and likes what she sees."

"I do more than like," Alex teased as she slowly ran her lips down my neck and I couldn't stifle the moan that ripped through me.

"Wait are you two…you know? Doing the thing?"

"Use your words, Cal."

"I can't, it'll ruin porn forever. You've ruined it enough by marrying a former porn star. It's so unfair that out of the three of us you are the one who gets to fuck a porn star."

"You better not be around our parents. They do not need to know that, not now, not ever."

"Don't worry. I won't. Now if I ever hit an economic hard patch and need my inheritance quickly, then I might consider it."

"I think I'd be the one more likely to get an inheritance and not you if that ever happened."

"If you survive. Now, get out from underneath your lesbian sex goddess lover and get ready for your wedding!"

"Who says she's underneath me? I'm pregnant, do you really think I'm doing much laying on my back?"

"Ew, no. I really don't need that image. I hate thinking about you with a chick, much less as the sort of girl who would be you know the aggressor. You are just sorta gay, not gay gay. Like who wouldn't fall for a woman if they looked like Alex and girls get what other girls like in that way in a way boys can't."

"Would it matter if I were?"

"Of course not. It's just weird to think of you as being that much into girls."

"Have you seen my wife? She is as much of a woman as they come."

"Sorry, into women. Into doing things to them."

"I'm getting married, I think it goes without saying that if there wasn't complete mutual sexual interest our lives would suck."

"If you two don't get out of your love nest soon you won't be."

"Okay give me thirty. Five to finish and twenty to get a shower and get ready."

"Ew, Piper. Gross."

Alex reached for the phone and I heard her tell him, "Don't listen to your sister's lies, in five minutes I'll have made her cum as many times." Seconds before she put the phone back on my nightstand with a sarcastic shrug, "Uh, he hung up. Could it have been something I said?"

"You are an asshole."

"Call me an asshole again," she teased as her pinkie circled my other hole. But instead of telling her to stop like I usually did I decided to let her and before I knew it I was cumming harder than ever and grabbing hard at her head to keep her lips on mine while I rode out my orgasm and it's aftershocks.

Three and a half hours later, I was walking towards the bridge in an off-white lace sweetheart neckline dress with blue rhinestones and silver and black threading wearing dark blue heels with one arm around Cal and the other around my dad. I saw Alex in a silver dress with a black lace overlay and a plunging neckline that was tight around her curves and ass with a leather jacket on top with silver and black beaded heels, she was standing there surrounded by our moms, Celeste, Lorna, Nicky, Mel, Keely, and Jess plus her wife. Of course, front and center standing between Alex and the justice of the peace was Geo in a tux with an orange bow tie and dark blue vest and blue Converses. He started bouncing up and down when he saw me walking towards Alex.

"Mommy!"

"Hi, baby," I lifted him into my arms and nuzzled my nose against his, "You look so handsome."

"You look pitty, Mommy."

"Are you sure you want Mommy to marry Momma?"

"Momma loves us an' cares for us. I wan' Momma be my mom forever! I wan' us be family forever!"

"Okay, then," I answered as Cal held out his hands to take Geo. After I handed him to my brother I looked over at my dad and he smiled and pulled me into a hug, "You are as beautiful and glowing as I've ever seen you. I can tell she makes you happy, treats you well and I know she can give you and your son a good life. And that's all that matters." Then he hugged Alex and I could just barely hear him tell her, "Take care of my little princess. I'm trusting you with the most important thing in my world." "I will," she answered before taking my hands in hers and locking lips as Nicky declared, "It's not time for the kiss yet!" "C'mon, I think it's pretty obvious that I've done more than kiss her." "Let them kiss you monster," Lorna fired back as we became lost in each other's eyes and beaming smiles.

"Shall we begin, ladies," the justice, a woman who looked like a sixty-something lesbian with short grey hair and a purple silk scarf with white doves on the edges underneath black vestments, asked as she looked down at the book in her hands.

"Pipes? You ready to do this?"

"Yes, Al. I'm ready to be your wife. I love you so much and I'm so grateful you came into our lives. You are the most amazing person I've ever met. You have this beautiful and expansive soul that I don't think I'll ever have completely figured out. I spend every moment with you and I could keep doing it until the end of time and still never get bored or have too much of you. I want to be joined with you for eternity if that's even a thing."

"I love you to the end of the universe and I'm so grateful you and Geo came into my life," Alex kissed me as Nicky admonished us by telling us, "You aren't supposed to kiss yet, you two crazy lovebirds." Lorna playfully swatted her arm and told her "Let them kiss you monster." "I'll kiss her whenever I damn well please," Alex whispered just loud enough for me and our crazy-haired friend, who had at least attempted to use a hairbrush for the occasion, but not loud enough for our families to hear before smiling warmly at the officiant, "We're ready."

"It is my honor to preside over the marriage of these two women before their family, friends and the sweet little boy they have chosen to raise together. The best part of my job is when I get to marry a loving lesbian or gay couple. At first, these weddings were clandestine affairs in friend's backyards and living rooms but today I get to marry these couples out in the open across the City and have it mean something outside of the private spaces of our community. Society tried to tell us who and how to love but we resisted. And we took our resistance all the way to the Supreme Court and we said our love is both different and the same and our partners deserve the same rights and protections as anyone else. Our families deserve the stability that is only granted with legally recognized marriage. At these ceremonies, I like to read from Justice Kennedy's opinion in the case that won same-sex marriage, "No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. And so here we are on a snowy February afternoon to join Alex Pearl Vause and Piper Elizabeth Chapman into one unit, to create stability for each other and their children, to enable them to go through life proudly declaring the ultimate commitment between two souls. Alex and Piper have written their own vows, which they will now recite to each other. Which one of you ladies would like to say your vows first?"

I looked at Alex and could tell she was close to falling into a puddle of tears and I knew she needed to hear me tell her how much I loved her and to know that I was hers before she could allow herself to show her vulnerability, "I will. I never intended to fall in love with you. I was looking to change my life and live my truth but I knew I couldn't do it alone. I got your name and was told you were the best lesbian therapist in New York, she conveniently forgot the middle word in that phrase but I'm glad she did. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have found you or at least not when I did and I'm glad I didn't wait another minute to find you. The first time I kissed you I knew I would never be able to let you go. That I wanted to kiss your lips forever. That I wanted to know everything about you, that I wanted to know your body and mind as well as I know my own. I knew it meant facing down my every fear but you were by my side for every step along the way. You've dried my tears, held me tightly in your warm, safe arms, you've laughed with me. We've danced, we've made love, we've shared our lives, families, and friends. You've become a mother to my son, I used to think nobody could ever accept that I was a package deal. But that was never an issue for you and he fell for you just as quickly as I did. Becoming a family of three wasn't easy, moving into your house sometimes felt like a mistake when Geo would get angry and I was sure you'd say you had enough so many times and throw us out. You didn't have to stay through the normal toddler temper tantrums on top of the situational ones. But we got through it and I can't imagine sharing my life or son with anyone else or being crazy enough to carry another baby knowing exactly what labor and caring for a newborn involves. I will love you forever. I will walk this road with you for as long as we can. I will care for and cherish you all the days of my life. I will be your partner and cheerleader in all things. I will be the first to run to your side. I will care for your heart as you have cared for mine."

"Alex," the justice started.

"Pipes, where do I start. You know I'm not good at these things. I don't expose my heart or show my cards. Not often, not ever. But for you, here goes nothing. You came into my life and brought color to my lifeless world. Being with you is seeing the world in technicolor. I used to live for the darkness and quiet and then my feelings for you snuck up on me. Before I knew it, I was falling for a girl I had never met. And I knew you were the one thing that could get me in more trouble than I'd ever been in. But no matter how hard I tried to fight the feelings that were bubbling up, I couldn't. You made me smile and you didn't make me feel weak for crying or showing my vulnerability. You didn't make me feel like less than for revealing my deepest secrets. You let me be the woman I am. I could come home and be Alex Vause. I wasn't famous or infamous. You never cared about my celebrity reputation or my wealth or where I worked. You wanted more than the special access I reserved for a few or if I'm being truthful never gave anyone till you. You just wanted to cuddle, watch a movie and drink wine after the kiddo was in bed. You wanted someone to help you shoulder the load, who had the time to give you both the attention and affection you both longed for. I will love you until the end of time. You are my heart and soul. You have become the center of my universe and I don't know what I would do or where I would be if I hadn't found you. You are my everything. I will cherish and care for you through whatever life has in store for us. I have a reason to work hard and a reason to come home at the end of a crazy workday instead of going out trolling the bars. I adore you so much and I love the life we're building together."

"Do you have rings," the officiant asked.

"Momma gived me them," Geo interrupted.

"Well, little man, do you want to hand them to me, so your mommies can place them in each other's fingers," she asked our son, leaning down to his eye level with that look adults gave children when they wanted to make them feel safe.

"You pomise not to dop them in snow," he asked in a worried tone as he held the rings tight, "My Momma tusted me with them! And I love my Momma very much," he stopped and whispered in her ear, "more than Mommy but don't tell," but of course toddlers were notoriously bad with secrets. I smiled because that's what I wanted from the moment at the pizza class when I introduced the two loves of my life. Of course, now that number was way more than two. I rubbed my belly as our daughters reminded me of that and hoped they would be the first of many that added to the special souls I would count as my greatest loves.

"Yes, sweetie," the officiant answered as Geo handed her the two platinum bands. She asked who wanted to do the rings first and Alex replied, "me."

She told Alex to repeat after her and I focused on my wife's words, "Piper, take this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion to you. As a promise of fidelity and that I will work hard to give you everything you need and make your every dream come true," I felt her slide the ring onto my finger and then lift my hand to her red lips and kiss my ring.

Then it was my turn to repeat the words I'd written after the justice, "Alex, take this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion to you. As a promise to stay by your side through the good and bad, to work beside you in all areas of your life and support you as your wife. To enjoy the gifts of our love, fruits of our labor and hold you through the setbacks and trials."

"Now by the duty granted to me by the State and City of New York, I pronounce you spouses for life, lawfully wedded wives. You may now kiss your bride," the justice declared as everyone cheered and people stopped to look on as we sealed our marriage vows with a passionate kiss. I had never felt more bliss than the moment I officially was not just somebody's wife or even married to the love of my life but married to a woman while I felt her babies already getting the first dance of our marriage.

After filling out the rest of our license and taking pictures, we joined our family and friends at a fancy chophouse. As our wedding cake Alex had special ordered came, she told me, "So I have one more surprise. We are headed to Los Angeles for the night in two hours and in the morning, we're flying to Hawaii for four days. Mel and Diane are staying at the apartment and taking care of Geo and the house."

"But I haven't packed."

"Already taken care of. And I got you a sexy bikini. You should see what I bought myself. I can't marry you and not take you on a honeymoon. I'd rather somewhere like French Polynesia or Cambodia or Bali but you're probably in no condition for that flight and it seems too risky. But our next big trip I'm taking you to the Pacific Islands and Southeast Asia. You would love Thailand and Nepal. And probably make me try crazy things at Vietnamese street markets that I'm not gutsy enough to try without being dared to do so by a certain doe-eyed blonde. I must really have it bad for you, I'll even eat a bug to prove my love for you and that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Well, I guess if you insist," I teased as I placed my hand on hers and kissed her. Our adventures and all we had to show each other had only just begun.


	55. Chapter 55

A few hours later, we were somewhere over Northern Midwestern fields, not quite New York but not quite Chicago either, when I turned to Alex and started stroking the curve of her breast through her shirt.

"Babe, I thought I told you no. I thought I ordered you to get some sleep or at least that's what I thought I did. Maybe marriage really has made me lose my mojo and so soon," Alex commanded in the tone she typically saved for our toddler and since our toddler wasn't around, I whined like he would but gave her a much more adult response.

"But I'm not tired and I wanna play with your sexy tits. And I know you want me to. I know you love when I rub your nipples and kiss you," I paused and kissed the spot where her cleavage began thanks to her love for tight black bras and black v-necks, "right here."

"I do but you need your strength for what I'm gonna do to you when we get to the hotel. I would prefer not to spend our honeymoon at an ER because you started having complications. Sleep, now, doctor's orders! My precious little stinky butt," she added with a kiss to my temple as she saw a flight attendant walking down the aisle, more out of not wanting her to get the wrong idea and think she was abusing her visibly pregnant wife than actual affection.

"Can I sleep on your pillowy tits," I teased as I bit my lip and my eyes burned into her chest.

"If that's what it takes for you to fucking sleep. You need your rest. It's my job to take care of you now. I promised your brother, grandmother, our parents and son I would. And I don't wanna fuck it up day one," she confessed as her strong bravado began to crack and get at the real reason for her most recent inappropriate behavior.

"Don't worry so much, baby. If I didn't already know the wife you are gonna be I wouldn't have married you. You are an amazing human being. If it'll help you convince yourself you aren't a fuck up but a well-educated NYU doctor and business owner who just married the well-bred only daughter of an old money, high-status Connecticut family with her parents' blessing then I'll take a nap. Can I get something to relax," I asked as the girls got into an even more uncomfortable position and the pain in my back, hips, and legs mixed with my normal anxiety on planes.

"You're pregnant," Alex replied as she glared at me and rolled her eyes.

"Then don't give me a Valium. I'm so uncomfortable stuffed in this seat."

"Okay, will two Benadryl and some Tylenol work," she asked as if we were haggling at a street fair.

"I think so. And a kiss from my wife," I told her sweetly as I nuzzled against her shoulder, "I'm so sore. These girls of yours really pretzeled themselves into a weird position. I think I need one of those pillows already, I didn't need one until the last two months with Geo."

"I thought they were our babies."

"Not right now they aren't. Just like with Geo and you, when they're cute, they're mine but when they aren't then they are your daughters."

"Yes, and yet they are attached to you and solely dependent on you for their survival."

"I know and you know how much I love them, just right now I'm frustrated, in pain and hate planes."

"Yeah, they are more of a means to an end for me too. I like money and travel, planes are quicker. I've been thinking about getting my own."

"Please do. Just I have to approve the stewardesses."

"Deal, babe. How about the pilot," Alex asked playfully, knowing the only thing I liked about planes were sexy pilots.

"You would really let me?"

"Promise not to have a repeat of Copenhagen ever again and I will. That really scared me, babe. I hate when you feel the least bit of discomfort."

"Yeah cause you are just a big softie Vaus-ee. My Smooshy," I teased as I rubbed my belly so I wouldn't get punished for calling her a softie in public.

"Stinker," Alex replied with a kiss, giving me the complete opposite of punishment, probably because she knew exactly what I was trying to do.

She handed me the pills and some ginger ale then massaged my center under the blanket until I fell asleep. Next thing I knew Alex was shaking me awake, "Are, are we there," I asked as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

"Almost. Look at this view. I love descending on the lights of LA after a long late afternoon flight out of New York. I've done this trip so many times and the sparkling lights never get old. The flight to Chicago now that is three hours of boredom but California is so pretty from the air."

"It is gorgeous," I exclaimed as I peered out the window with childlike wonderment.

"Yeah, it sure is," Alex responded lovingly as she ran her fingers through my still curled blonde hair, "You have a good nap, Pipes?"

"Yes," I answered as I turned to face her, "I'm hungry now, though."

"We'll stop for a burger on the way to the hotel. I made a reservation with my favorite town car service, and for what I pay them for a year of service they will kill the cow and butcher it if I tell them to, or at least they had better."

"I love it when you get all badass Dr. Vause."

"So, I should stay in this mood? Like until we get to the hotel and I can get my new bride into bed and fuck her brains out? You know, give you your real wedding present, cause we both know a honeymoon is assumed. I'm not that much of an asshole."

"Mmmm…yes, please. You know I love it like that."

"I think when I see you naked on the bed in a WeHo honeymoon suite my mood will shift dramatically. I've had sex with a lot of wives before, they were just never mine," Alex responded as she pushed her glasses onto her forehead and I could see the tears in the corner of her eyes, "I'm thinking it'll be a little more tender than when I normally find myself with somebody's wife and I make their panties drop. Literally and figuratively sweeter."

"Don't go all soft on me, Vause."

"You bring out the worst in me, stinky butt."

"Or do I, smooshy," I teased with a playful nudge and then rested my head on her shoulder and took her hand until the plane was at the gate. Around forty-five minutes later, we were driving through Los Angeles along the ocean to our West Hollywood hotel, after our driver made a quick stop to pick up burgers, fries, shakes and the best bottles of Bourbon and champagne Alex could get her hands on. I noticed the people passing our blacked-out dark SUV gawking at the car in hopes of catching sight of some celebrity, and while she was one, she wasn't the kind of influencer, singer or actress they were looking to catch a glimpse of and take back to their small flyover town, not that we couldn't give them anything to tell their friends just we weren't in the mood at the moment. We wanted to make out but weren't in the mood to be a spectacle. We didn't have to say we couldn't wait to have some time alone for the first time in our marriage, all I had to do was look over at her with a warm expression, smile and rub the roses on her arm and all she had to do was take my hand and kiss between each knuckle. I sat back and drank my Pellegrino and enjoyed feeling famous for a moment as I watched Alex drinking from the bottle of bourbon in between kisses.

Somehow, we made it from the car to the lobby to our suite with a panoramic view of the city below us and the mountains surrounding us. Alex stuck her key in the door and when I went to enter, she glared at me and shook her head before lifting me and carrying her bride across the threshold and laid me down on the bed. Over the next four hours, she did every trick she knew how to do with her skilled tongue, hot body and magic fingers until I couldn't even scream her name any longer. We ordered some late-night ice cream before I finally fell asleep with my head buried in her exposed breasts with one last promise, "when we get to Hawaii, I'm in charge and you will get what you deserve for what you just did." Alex didn't say a word, she just kissed the sweet spot behind my ear probably long after I was firmly in dreamland.

The next afternoon, we arrived at the Four Seasons in Waikiki and checked into our huge oceanfront suite. I didn't look around in amazement like I normally did when we checked in somewhere, I had one thing in mind and one thing only. Alex had rebuffed my advances that morning, then my offer of an airport quickie, and finally, on the plane, she told me the same thing as the night before, an exasperated, "Sleep, Piper," and when she did give in it was always to pleasure me. Which, while exceedingly enjoyable, wasn't what I wanted. I saw her start to say, "so," and I knew she was about to ask me what I wanted to do but I was tired of talking and subtleties. I slammed the door, clicked the lock and pushed her front against the wall and pressed my center hard against her ass while I bit into her neck and massaged her breasts roughly.

"You" I glared at her with lust filled eyes in my most commanding voice, letting my frustration finally turn into rage, "You are gonna give me what I want and I'm done listening to your excuses, Vause!"

"This is what I get for being a good wife," Alex teased as she made it clear she knew she was cornered and hoping a minimal amount of submission would be enough to satisfy me and avoid the inevitable full strength of my latest plan. As if I would ever do that after about thirty-six hours to come up with an airtight plan. Or that I hadn't been thinking about the first time I fucked my wife since I admitted to my family, friends and the world that I wanted one and that I wanted it to be her.

"Yup. All of a sudden now that you're married you don't want sex or at least that's how you seem to be acting. But I know you better than that. You want it, you just put everybody else first and maybe right now you are feeling like too much of a woman. You're feeling vulnerable and you want to make sure I love you and don't go anywhere. I'm your pregnant wife, we have a prenup, where would I go if I wanted to? I want to do you. I want to fuck you. Three tries ago it woulda been gentle, now I'm going to fuck you so hard you never turn down my advances again. Now lie down on the bed. On your back, woman! Now!"

I released my grasp on her and spun her around before working my tongue as deep into her mouth as I could and doing every move that I knew would put her in the mood, whether she wanted to be or not. I wasn't in the mood to negotiate with Alex Vause, I was in the mood to take what I wanted and my soul craved by any means necessary, even if it meant playing more than a little dirty.

"You ready to behave," I commanded as I alternated between grabbing and slapping her ass, pushing my hand into the back of her jeans and down her underwear then dug my acrylic nails deep into the soft, perfectly round flesh as I grabbed her now puffy bottom lip in my teeth.

"What are you planning to do to me," Alex asked as if she had never been alone with a horny woman, let alone a horny Piper at least a hundred times.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I retorted as I turned her own glare against her.

"Damn, you do that better than me."

"That's not all I've learned from you and I'm about to prove why I'm your wife. Cause at this point you'd have to marry me or kill me to keep your secrets safe. I know too much about too many things."

"Is that so," Alex asked as she tried to hold onto the last shreds of power that she possessed.

"You really want those to be your last words, Dr. Alex Pearl Chapman Vause," I asked, emphasizing my last name and not hers as I massaged her ass and pressed my body as close as I could to hers with my swollen belly and tender breasts in the way.

"Do it. Fuck me however you want. Do whatever you want to my body. Because evidently, surprising you with a trip to Hawaii isn't enough. You think you can take down Alex Vause, go ahead but you only get one chance. And you know what predators do when they're wounded, they tend to snap and it's not pretty."

"I'll take my chances. Now what do you say we test out how sturdy the bed is," I looked over and saw the wood posters, "Mmmm…well how predictable a four-poster bed. What is it you like so much about four-poster beds? I forget. Maybe I should rifle through your suitcase until I remember."

"Kill me now."

"Oh, I don't want to kill you, my babies need both of their parents. I just want to fuck you and see if you did, in fact, spend enough money on this suite so that nobody will come knocking no matter how loud or rough we get."

Alex laid on her back on the bed, trembling and trying to hide her face in the pillow as I searched for the toys I knew she packed, "Look at you lying there like a nervous virginal bride who's only seen the cows and dogs fuck and is wondering if that's what she's going to be expected to do. But you are as far from a virgin as possible and you would enjoy me fucking you like a dog too much. Although you have been a bitch lately and you know how I love to pound that ass and it would accommodate my present condition," I dug into her suitcase a little more and found the soft cuff restraints she rarely went anywhere without, "But I'll spare you the degradation of getting your ass fucked by a pregnant chick."

I had learned a thing or two about the typical contents of Alex Vause's purse from my prime position in her world. She always had a tube of red lipstick, another one of black liquid eyeliner, a discreet vibrator or more commonly two and at least two things that could potentially be used as restraints. And I had been the witness to more than one sex-off between Nicky, Alex and a bottle of expensive bourbon that they drank like Jack Daniels or worse, bottom shelf whiskey. The two had a long-running competition for what's the wildest thing you've used as a sex toy or restraint. Nicky still hadn't accepted she was fighting a losing battle, but at least she had years ago accepted that with her perfectly shiny gold star and hatred of porn she would never win the wildest sexual exploit contest against either of us.

"You don't have to tie me up. I promise I won't fight you. C'mon if you tie me up then I can't dig my silver-blue acrylic nails into your back while you fuck me. You know you love it when I make you bleed a little."

"But Dr. Vause, I plan on spending tomorrow in one of my new bikinis, how ever will I explain the claw marks?"

"Giggle and say the words lesbian honeymoon like the sweet little thing you are. Or I'll let you kiss me sweetly in front of other people and we don't have to say a word. They'll either be impressed or disgusted. Show the world who is really in charge. Would my little pet power bottom like that?"

"That doesn't explain how I'm the one with the claw marks," I teased as I forgot about the dildo and instead grabbed Alex's pink sparkly vibrator that only I knew was her favorite. Lover of all things dark and gritty not only owned a pink vibrator but loved it above all inanimate objects, although her French press came pretty close, "Well, it looks like you can't leave home without this not so little plaything. Geo has his puppy, I have my Bose headphones and you have this. I was going to turn your dick on you and make you cum around your own cock but now I'm thinking about being nicer than you deserve and doing something we'll both enjoy. But I expect to be repaid for my generosity."

"What do you have in mind, Piper Cha-" she started before I glared at her and picked up her dildo, turning just enough to make sure she knew what I had in my hand, "My apologies, Mrs. Vause. What do you have in mind, Piper Vause? Mmmm…it's gonna be so fun when people try to call me Miz Vause now. Miz, Missus Vause, you must want my wife cause I did not support myself doing porn to pay for med school to be called any variation of Miz Vause."

"Rambling is my thing. I'm not trying to flip our roles completely. And lately, I've been thinking Dr. Vause does have a nice ring to it. I think it's time I get back to trying to accomplish what I came to New York City to do."

"Yes, maybe you'll finally realize rambling isn't cute. And I thought you came because we somehow didn't manage to meet when you were in Northampton for four years and Cupid's dumbass wasn't willing to give up."

"Don't lie, you know you find it adorable," as I held a dildo in one hand and a vibrator in the other, "Decisions, decisions. Which will it be, Smooshy? I'm starting to lean towards both at once."

"You drive a hard bargain, Pipes. Someday, I'm going to get to the bottom of your psychopathy."

"Yes, you have so much trouble understanding the inner workings of my deviant mind that you just had to marry me and give me a sweet nonprofit job. Then just to make sure I was stuck with you, you just had to forget to pull out on Halloween after the kid was in a sugar coma knowing full well it was my fertile day."

"What can I say you have the right combination of breeding, education, and passion for the job. You get paid to be one of the ladies who lunches."

"I get paid? I was unaware of that."

"Take it up with HR."

"Uhm, except Artemis has no HR department."

"It does. Carrie-Ann and I are HR, depending on the job title. Now, are you going to get on with it cause I'm this close to changing my mind."

"Then earn the toy we both know you want."

"You are fucking adorable. A fucking adorable pain in the fucking ass but you're a pain in my ass and I wouldn't have it any other way. Come here. Bring the vibrator, please. Pretty, pretty please with Cristal on top."

"Mmmm…Cristal. There will so be a bottle of that in my hospital bag."

"Oh, Cristal isn't even close to what you deserve for what you're doing for us. Now get your sweet little stinky butt over here and fuck your new wife. I'm ready for you to take me to the places only you can get me to."

"God, you are so sexy but I think I'm going to make you watch a striptease first, without being allowed to strip your own clothes off. That is a privilege for me and me only," I teased as I flung the pink toy across the suite, aiming it just outside Alex's reach as she lifted her hands to catch it and shook her head with that smoldering glare that I had become immune to months ago. I put the dildo in the suitcase after playfully lifting the head to my lips to show her what she might earn later if she spoiled me adequately for the rest of the evening. I turned on my favorite and most private playlist and for the next two hours pleasured Alex in all the ways we both enjoyed. I got great satisfaction as I watched her hit the height of her pleasure not once or twice but four times and my name fell from her lips as well as a tumble of obscenities in four different languages.

"I love when I fuck your slutty pussy so good you start speaking in tongues like you're at a Pentecostal revival."

"Well, you know that is the one thing our kind have in common with theirs, our tongues take over when we are at the heights of passion, when the physical body submits to the demonic spirit clawing to get out."

"God, you never stop with the psychological and academic analyses of sexual behavior, do you?"

"You know you're totally into it."

"Did I say I wasn't?"

"Good, point. Now let's go back to that g-word you just said, cause I want to hear a little more of that. When you forget the twenty-four letters of the alphabet after the first two. I'll let you get Ahi tuna for dinner."

"Mmmm…raw fish and raw fish. You sure know the way to a girl's heart."

"Heart, pussy and evidently another uniquely female body part or two judging from all that sexy roundness. Come, cum, come," I crawled back on top of her and we slowly worked each other to our heights together. Nobody was in charge and nobody was submitting, we were equals and it was not a game. Nobody was afraid to be vulnerable and when tears fell, they fell. When we needed to unlatch to declare our love we did. I didn't think it was possible to become more entangled with the woman I married and whose babies I was carrying. I felt her enter somewhere deep inside me and I knew she was a part of me, like an extra limb I never knew I was missing until I discovered it. The next few days were spent taking long walks on the beach, sunbathing or reading on the sand and we even went on a couple of hikes through waterfalls and volcanoes, after Alex told more than one ranger I'm an OB, she's an elite athlete, she can handle it. Of course, we spent plenty of time naked in bed doing what we did when we had no other responsibilities or cares in the world. We savored every moment together. Every sunrise and sunset, every time the foamy waves tickled our ankles as we walked along the sand, not caring if anybody looked at the two queer women unafraid to show their love for each other. Maybe a few of the vacationers who couldn't help but gawk at us, we were gorgeous and in love after all, even figured out that my belly, showing proudly in between the pieces of my bikini, was in fact from pregnancy even though we were obviously a married couple. For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to be equally unafraid to show who I loved as I was to show what that love had made me want to do. We stood there watching dolphins and that was all I cared about, not who would see me holding hands with a woman or showing off the body that was growing the first of my wife's biological children. We had a long life ahead of us and I could imagine us coming back here with three little kids giggling in the wet sand yet again with my belly beginning to visibly swell. I didn't share that moment, worried that if I even told Alex that vision might not come true so I rested my head on her shoulder until she held my back close against her front with her hands underneath my bump, providing both comfort and support as unbeknownst to her, our daughters moved around as if they too were watching the dolphins and mimicking their movements.


	56. Chapter 56

"Well, Cha-" Nicky started as she stood in the doorway of Alex's office breathing heavily, as if she had just searched the whole building for me, before I flashed her my best Vause glare, "Doc is right, you do that too good."

"Sometimes I fear for your patients. It's well. I do that too well," I fired back as I stood by the couch in Alex's office.

"Sorry, College. My patients like my junkie philosopher aesthetic. And it's working which means I'm bringing money into the practice, so I don't know why you are complaining. I'm the head sheriff around these parts," Nicky declared with her fingers looped in her slacks.

"Oh, I dare you to say that in front of my wife," I fired back with a mix of true anger and sarcasm.

"Barf. I never thought I'd miss the days of coming into work to hear about Vause's latest exploits. Now I'm starting to wonder if she's running a therapy center or a Gymboree," Nicky said as her eyes fell on a pile of toys in the corner and the area she had recently cleared to start putting together a mini-nursery for our daughters in her office.

"She's running neither."

"Yes, since you came around Doc has all these expansive ideas about saving the world and is full of big dreams that sound nothing like her. She wants to save the world and thinks she can. I was happy providing therapy to lesbian women and helping them cope with childhood trauma and abuse. And the little thing we built used to be enough."

"Why shouldn't she use her platform for something?"

"That word didn't use to be in her vocabulary. Now she's this lesbian health care activist taking meetings with lawmakers and powerful people in health care. She's on the board of NYU Med Center. That was never something she wanted. She was never political. She was driven by sex, now she's driven by advocacy. She's got all these big dreams. She used to believe dreaming was a useless activity, a mental flight of fancy. If she couldn't touch it or taste it then it didn't exist. Now she's doing press on conversion therapy bans and talking about how to create queer and trans inclusive spaces in healthcare."

"Is your problem the queer or the trans part," I asked, knowing the answer.

"I don't get it. It's a sickness."

"And fifty years ago, so was lesbianism. It was used to take children from their mothers. To force their mothers to stay with men they didn't love out of fear that they would lose their children. That they would have to choose between the child they created and their true selves, the woman they loved."

"Less than that," I husky voice declared behind Nicky.

"Where did you come from," I asked as I finally realized Alex was standing just behind the doorway of her office.

"How, how long have you been there," Nicky asked as Alex brushed past her, the brunette passively fuming as the crazy-haired younger woman, making sure to bump shoulders with her as she walked over to me.

"What, I can't be a good wife and surprise my beautiful new bride on her first day back to work after our honeymoon?"

"Of course, you can," I told her with a kiss as I felt the stirring in my belly, Baby B had woken up from her nap but her sister was still resting, for the moment anyway. Earlier that morning I had been rubbing my belly and felt a sensation against my hand that I barely remembered. As her kicks became stronger, I decided not to quiet my wild child so that she wouldn't awaken her favorite sparring partner. I knew Alex had been so busy between the practice, the hospital and preparing for this year's conferences and seminars since we came back from Hawaii and had also been struggling now that I could finally show off my growing belly. My pregnancy was real to me and to anyone who saw me but not to her. Since we returned from Hawaii nearly a week ago, she had started wanting to touch my bump less and less because it had started making her feel crushing sorrow instead of happiness as each day passed that I could feel her babies but she couldn't. I knew she felt she couldn't have the feelings she was having for a million reasons and that she needed to go off to the place I hoped she would make it back from.

A part of her still held onto a dream only I knew she had ever had. The true plan A. She had started the process of freezing her eggs intending to bring her daughter into the world on her own from start to finish. She wanted to be feeling what I was feeling and I wanted her to. As amazing as growing our daughters felt, I already knew that feeling and wished she could know the most amazing feeling a woman can, the moment when life stirs deep within her and makes it's presence known. The moment she realizes she is now two. I already knew what it felt like and how amazing it was.

How it reminded me that women were powerful, blessed creatures because our bodies held the secret to life itself. We alone could sustain life. Plan C was at least better than Plan B but nothing could ever be Plan A. I felt guilty and she felt guilty, so we retreated into work and our son. We passed in the hall, doing what we had to do for the things we were creating in the world. We talked to him but not each other. I relaxed in front of the TV in our room and she sat in her office drowning her feelings in a bottle and doing things I had no desire to know about after our son was in bed. Sure, we could have and probably should have talked but neither of us quite knew how to put the loss we felt into words.

To put it out into the world that the time during which we should be at our happiest, newly married and preparing to welcome twin girls, we were at our most disconnected and sorrowful. Every kick I felt just made me feel worse. Every kick I was certain was their way of saying: _It should be her. You aren't my real mother. I should be in her belly._ I was sure they were angry that they were in the wrong womb. I wondered if this was how she felt sometimes when she looked at Geo. That biology would always ultimately win out over love. That loving a child like a mother and genetically being that same child's mother were two different things. Could it truly be possible for a child to have two mothers? Two _real _mothers? What would come of this sociological and biological experiment? Was it even a good idea? Was if fair to our kids for them to have a genetic mother and a birth mother, essentially two biological mothers? When it was just us it sounded like this amazing way to both shoulder the load of babymaking and a way to connect us at the deepest level possible for two women. But it wasn't just the two of us anymore. Lately, all I could see was the day our daughters came home crying because some kid told them they couldn't have two mothers or worse. I still remembered coming home from school and flinging myself into my pillow because I got called a dyke in front of the boy I had a crush on and had heard liked me too. My parents saw me crying but I let them think I was just heartbroken over being rejected by a boy I liked. Which wasn't totally untrue because after that he did reject me. Eventually, I put on my running shoes and went for a long run and when I still wasn't feeling better the next day, I cut study hall and went to the spot where the queer kids went to make out near school with a girl I knew liked me. Even then, I wasn't willing to deny it or act like it was a bad thing to be. It's just not who I am. Thinking of that memory again, I realized with their mommies and aunties around to teach them how to handle adversity they'd be fine. And so would I.

As her kicks grew stronger, I felt her telling me, _Mommy, you are a ridiculous human…you aren't the first. This is all society and science's greatest modern advancements rolled up in one._

"Still here," Nicky hollered as Alex moved closer and checked out my tits that were barely contained by my tight pink v-neck sweater, "Should I remind you why College's tits are poppin' lately, boss?"

"I know why they are. I put a baby in that hot, young runner's body and it decided to do a human cloning experiment of its own. Cause her core is just that strong I guess."

"Gross. Those are for uhm, well you know. And just talking about it makes me throw up in my mouth."

"It's not gross, it's amazing and you aren't supposed to be up here," Alex challenged as she ran her fingers through my hair and looked into my eyes for the first time in days.

"Whatever, Boss. I miss you. I miss the old you," she responded with a chuckle and I could tell she was crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame just by her tone.

"I don't. I stand for something and I'm helping create a better world for my children, for the young girls realizing their sexuality and fearing it will prevent them from reaching their dreams or that they will be subjected to horrific abuse at the hands of adults they once thought they could confide anything in. Kids who think something is wrong with them. That they can't be who they want to be because of a piece of who they are. There are more important things in this world than sexual fulfillment. I have a bigger purpose than that. This is me, Nicks. I like this Alex. No, I love her. I never loved myself or felt good in my skin but now I do. This is who I am, who I've always meant to be. The party was fun but it's over for me. I just want to be a good wife and mother. I have the smarts, money and power necessary to change things and you better bet I will. I want to use all the things I built in my last life to leave this world a better place than I found it. I don't see how that's a bad thing. People take my calls and listen to my ideas. I have respect. I'm somebody important. I've done what I've set out to do but I've got a few years in me yet. So I'm making the best out of them."

"How can you not miss it? Remember when we used to run the bars and swear that we'd never be monogamous. I meant it and I thought you did too. And you know how I feel about your new protégé. She's not one of us. She never will be. She's a dyke with a dick," Alex glared at her with a look that could wake the dead, so Nicky corrected herself, "a dyke with a surgically created pussy or whatever. It's weird."

"You can go," Alex commanded and I knew what she meant but wasn't sure Nicky did. Although, I didn't know how she couldn't. She could get on board and accept Alex unconditionally and her vision or she could leave. Leave Artemis. Diane. Her life.

"I'll shut the door, boss. Should I put a sock on it?"

"Yeah and while you're at it why don't you get a shovel and dig your grave?"

I listened to Nicky's footsteps drifting down the hallway before turning to face the wreckage as our wild child reminded me of a foolproof way to cheer Alex up. After the past few days and the fight I had with Nicky then the energy it left behind that made the tension that had been steadily building between the two once lovers who managed to become more than friends, to become sisters. Maybe it was true, I couldn't do anything to cheer her up in this moment. But I couldn't say that nobody could. Our daughter who had inherited her mother's spirit and maybe even her very soul was the only thing that could make her mother feel better. Could make her stop drowning her feelings and fears in a bottle alone and bring back the closeness we had before our relationship peaked. Or at least seemed to have peaked. I rubbed my belly where I could feel our daughter kicking, as if she had a bigger purpose than waking her sister so they could play. For the first time, she seemed to have no desire to wake her sister. 'Don't fail me now baby girl,' I whispered as if I had felt her kick against my hand more than once, well now two times. I took a deep breath and acted like I always did when they were kicking wildly and it was causing me pain and breathlessness.

"Are you okay, Babe? Is something wrong with the girls," Alex asked in a worried tone.

"It's our wild girl. She's really kicking my side."

"Can I get you anything? Do you need to lay down?"

"Can you get me something carbonated? Maybe a Coke? And help me down on the couch."

"How much coffee have you had today?"

"Well, that ended fast, Dr. Vause."

"Okay, okay. I'll go back to being the woman who enjoys spoiling the shit out of her wife."

"Could you do that literally?"

"Still…wait I'm feeling like I'm walking into a trap? Why do I feel like I'm walking into a trap?"

"I didn't mean it as one but I can't expect you to leave Dr. Vause begins when you're not only in a doctor's office but your personal office. The one that says Dr. Vause MD/PhD Medical Director. And you can still worry about me being backed up and just be a loving wife since your egg is the reason I'm constipated and a human being is angry at my lungs for existing."

"Yes, and that's why I'm not going to give you an enema even though I safely could."

"And I wouldn't let you. There's only one reason I want you that close to my asshole. Besides, I'd hate for my ass to become unappetizing, you do not need to see that. But I know you are good at it."

"And there's only one reason I want to be that close," she teased and I was certain our wild girl was saying _ew, gross_ at her moms talking about eating ass as she kicked my ribs so hard it knocked the wind out of me.

"I think someone thinks we need to change the topic."

"It's still a little too early for her to know and even if she could hear us how would she know what we're talking about?"

"Well, she is your daughter."

"So, should I be preparing my shocked face for when she tells us she likes girls? Or maybe she'll be like her Mommy and like people. With a strong preference for those people having vaginas."

"I don't care who they love as long as they know that nobody will ever love them as much as the women who endured so much to create them," I told her as I sat down and she handed me a glass bottle of Cola from the mini-fridge.

"You know, I felt her finally. I was rubbing my belly and felt a little kick."

"Can you feel her now?"

I just smiled the toothy grin that I knew made Alex melt and shook my head as she gasped and embraced the widest part of my bump. I felt her push up my sweater, undershirt and then fold down the panel of my jeans as I felt her flip as if her foot was searching for the perfect spot to make contact with her mother. I somehow missed the moment they connected but maybe that was on purpose on some level beyond my comprehension. I didn't know it happened until I saw her eyes get wider and brighter than I'd ever seen them as she laughed and her red lips turned from a twisted look of concern to blissful happiness, "was that? Did I just feel?"

"If you really don't know what you are feeling right now then I'm calling the ACOG and telling them I know about an incompetent licensed obstetrician."

"Yeah, I've felt it a thousand times just not when it mattered. Not when it was my wife's belly. The baby in my wife's belly."

"Don't you mean your baby, not the baby?"

"Shit. That's my baby. That's my flesh and blood daughter who I've dreamed about for so long. She's alive. I'm finally going to have my baby. That's our little girl," she pressed her hands firmly on my bump and kissed her little foot then kissed and tickled along my bump until she got to her head. I felt her tears hitting my skin. I thought they were happy. I never expected what came next. I heard a weak voice whisper, "I'm sorry." I'd never heard that tone and rarely heard those words unless she was worried that I was about to walk out the door. But she couldn't stop crying and saying it as her face pressed against my belly and I reached out to rub her back because that's what you did when someone you loved broke down emotionally. If they were a normal person but Alex never cried like this. I didn't know if I should ask why or try to get her to talk. I knew what I would do if it were anybody else but with the one person I should know best how to deal with their emotions, I didn't. I figured she was sorry for being so distant since we got home from Hawaii and back to our normal, boring lives. I wasn't mad. I was struggling with the reality of Alex's babies growing in my belly, being pregnant again and actually wanting people to notice my unmistakable baby bump and inability to figure out where and how I fit into this new modern American family. What did I do when people congratulated me now that I was finally able to show off my belly. Now that I had a ring on my finger. What does your husband do? Is this your first? Is it twins, it looks like twins? Is it boys? Or one of each, one of each is so perfect. Or obviously straight pregnant women wanted to bond or ask what traits I hoped my babies would get from me. How did I say I didn't expect them to get anything but life from me? And that I was fine with that.

The one time I did tell a seemingly nice woman the truth she told me about her sister who was a mother thanks to a surrogate as if it were the same thing. Or the woman who told me when she was in college, she donated eggs to a gay couple. These babies were mine to keep but they also weren't. I hadn't yet met anyone who knew exactly how I felt as my wife's babies grew inside me. We didn't plan them together. I wasn't there when my wife stuck a syringe full of hormones and fertility meds in her abdomen for the first time. When she experienced the heartbreak of two failed donors after putting her body through hell to make eggs for IVF. When she nearly died because she wanted to make sure she had enough eggs. Because that was more important than her own life at that moment. But my spirit was there as much as hers was there during those moments I was scared and alone when I was pregnant with Geo.

"It's okay, Al. I'm not mad. We've both had some shit to sort out lately. This is not a normal situation. The things we feel are going to be hard to talk about sometimes. I forgive you."

"I know. I'm not worried. I know no matter what you'll love me. I'm just sorry for the way I used to be. For being this womanizing asshole of a whore that I spent nearly thirty years being. I'm sorry for the negative things about this world I've contributed to. For forgetting that I did those things to somebody's daughter. For not being the sort of woman my daughters needed me to be. If I had maybe things would be different."

"Or maybe this is meant to be. Maybe even if your wanton ways hadn't ruined your uterus we would still be here in this exact position. Not that I would mind if it were reversed. As much as I miss taking a nice long shit, I still wouldn't pass this up for anything. And they will see who you are. And when they do find out about your past and the things you used to do we will work together to help them see why you did the things you did, that you had to do things to survive, to fit in. That you were scared of rejection so you never let people get close. You hurt them before they could hurt you. You torpedoed everything good in your life. You were desperate to prove you weren't your father but you became the worst parts of him. You got lost. But then you got found. You deserve these girls. You are the person I want to have as their main female role model. And I know you wish it were happening to you and while I wouldn't wish pregnancy-related nausea and constipation and all the other forms of torture a fetus imposes on one's body on my worst enemy, I wish you could know what it feels like to be pregnant. I would go to the ends of the earth to figure out a way, just say the word. Cause we're smart and rich, nothing is impossible. I've been thinking, I want to tell people the truth about who the genetic mother of our future children is. I don't want to hide any part of me and these girls are as much a part of me as they are of you. Even the embryos, the maybe babies, we have in an LA freezer are a part of me. I don't care what people say or that it's not easy and I don't think our girls are unaware of who either of us are to them. Actually, I think they know better than we do."

"I thought that's where you were going with that. But I'm scared."

"You'd rather let everyone think you were in the same room as me and live sperm? Cause that's less improbable than you putting your fertilized egg in me?"

"Yeah. I am kinda tired of people thinking I'm kidding when I say that I knocked you up or that you are having my babies. I'm being dead serious."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Yes. I'm done with secrets and hiding parts of myself. It only causes me pain. That I then anesthetize by way of a bottle."

"Same, baby."

"So have you felt big sister too or just little miss wild child?"

"Just her so far, from the outside anyway. I feel her sister kick pretty often but she's always been our quieter baby."

"Let me see if I can wake her up. I used to be the pro at that," Alex felt along my belly until she found our other daughter and soon had her awake as well. We both kept cheering her on as she swam around until finally, I felt the thump, thump of her kicks connecting with Alex's hand pressing against me. The moment I realized Alex was the first to feel her from the outside, even before me, I pulled her up into a kiss that quickly became steamy and if anyone had chosen to break rule number one at Artemis and come up to the attic unless they were named Piper Vause, I was the only one in the world, believe me I checked, they would get an eyeful they could never unsee as we celebrated the moment the only way we knew how. My pants down by my ankles and Alex on her knees in front of the couch with her head between my legs as I moaned her name and told her how amazing her tongue was, how perfect she was until I didn't have a drop left in me to give her and she pulled her head up and kissed me until I could no longer taste myself on her mouth. She pushed me against the back of the couch, unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor while I freed her from her thong. Then she went back to kissing me and using my body for her pleasure, eventually taking my hand and placing it on her wet pussy when rubbing against my skin wasn't doing it for her anymore.

"I love when you make yourself all wet for me, Al."

"Nobody makes me wetter than you do."

"Nobody fills you like I do either," I teased as I stealthily stuck two fingers inside her and started pumping hard as her walls tightened around the unexpected intrusion, "You like to get fucked. You like it when I give you a sneak attack you dirty woman. Some big dyke top you are."

"Never said I was made of stone. Leather maybe. Steel once upon a time. Sure."

"Now you are just full of soft mush," I teased as I pushed past her walls tensing and found the spongy spot inside her as her tits brushed against mine perfectly. When did my three levels of tops come off? When did hers? How? But I had to admit I was glad they had as I felt the buzzing surge from my nipples to my clit as I felt her orgasm rumbling like a Midwestern thunderstorm after the rain. I felt her clit against my skin as I slipped in a third finger just before her orgasm peaked, which made her cum uncontrollably and her orgasms became uncontrollable until I felt her break out in a cold sweat and her skin prickle.

"I needed that," Alex said as she tried to regain her normally cocky, controlled demeanor, "Thanks, Babe."

"You are so cute when you try to be an asshole when you have that just fucked glow on your skin. And it's real cute when you walk crooked for so long that you start to worry about your period being so much as a second late."

"I never do that."

"Sure, right, baby. You know I fuck you good. Not quite that good but damn if I could," I ran my hand down her tighter than normal abdominal muscles until I was right at the point her slit began as she sighed and moaned, "Does the little wife want some more of her woman's nice strong hand?"

"Not here. Raincheck?"

"The kid?"

"Can't we drop him off at the pound?"

"Yes, reason for surrender owners got new baby. You are an asshole but we both know you aren't that much of one."

"No, I'm not. I'm sorry about the way I've been and how we haven't been communicating. I don't want that kind of a marriage."

"Me neither. Talk to me. Even if you stumble or it hurts and I promise to do the same."

"Deal, Pipes. We should get dressed and light the candle before anybody figures out what we were doing."

"As if anybody doesn't know what we do up here or somebody didn't get uncharacteristically noisy."

"You know what you fucking me without warning does to me everytime."

"Nope."

"What you just did."

"I've already forgotten."

"Keep it up, Piper Elizabeth. You know what happens to misbehaving pets and I want to cuddle you tonight."

"Dom handler fail."

"You just wait until we get home."

"What are you going to do? Give me a bone to chew on? Cause you know how much I hate having a bone in my dirty, disobedient bisexual mouth."

"You would like that wouldn't you? Can you still get on your knees with that litter in your belly weighing you down?"

"Try me, Vause. Go ahead."

"I could say the same about you, Vause," she taunted before grabbing my puffy bottom lip in her teeth and pulling until my body tensed up and she pressed her tits into mine while I squirmed underneath her from the pain and pleasure radiating through me, "You are lucky I'm in no mood to find a dick right now," she hissed against my ear as she pushed three fingers as deep inside me as she could with one forceful thrust just as my body was nearly fully recovered from the last orgasm she gave me then pulled out just as quickly as she thrust herself inside me and I forced a whimper.

"Good, puppy. Let's get you a treat. You want to go to the French bakery? Or we could get cupcakes."

"You don't have more work?"

"I always do but right now, I want to take my freshly fucked wife on a day date. Not that she deserves it but she's making people and knows when I'm being a bitch because I need to cum so I guess she does."

"I could never say no to a date with the hottest goddess on earth wife of mine who fills my pussy and my womb with her love."

"That's my girl, Mrs. Vause," I teased as she lifted herself off me and quickly got dressed before helping me get mine on and then we walked out of the clinic and into the air that already held the promise of an early spring.


	57. Chapter 57

"What are we going to do about Nicky," I asked Alex as I watched her take a series of Pyrex containers out of the fridge and bags of vegetables to throw together a quick weeknight dinner after we got home from taking Geo to martial arts class the next night after our fight and spending a day with an obviously discontented Nicky Nichols. She could be a bigger asshole than the one I married at times but she was the friend you wanted in your corner on your worst day. She was the one you could rely on to tell you as it is without caring whether it's what you want to hear all while holding you in her arms. Nicky was a never-ending foundation of wisdom and wise-ass commentary and I found her refreshing. She was the one who made me believe I could be more than the proper wealthy lady I was raised to be. That I could be the intelligent, passionate queer woman I wanted to be and embrace every part of me and my desires. She was the one I went to when I discovered I enjoyed being Alex's play partner and didn't know how it fit into the narrative I had created as a Smith grad, full of feminism and girl power. I loved women. But really, I loved powerful women and longed to be cherished by my lover. Nicky told me pretty much to let my freak flag fly. Leather was never her thing and she was pretty simple when it came to sex. She just liked a lot of it with as many women as possible. She considered herself a collector, a connoisseur of female orgasms.

"I don't know. I can't lose her. We've been through too much. I'm not asking her to change her ways. If it works for her than it does. She enjoys being Peter Pan and staying on Neverland. And I can accept that."

"I don't want that to happen either. I like her a lot. I get that sometimes she can get resentful at me for existing and blame me for things that in truth were set into motion long before I was involved in your life."

"Nicky loves you. She would do anything for you. She knows we weren't right for each other romantically. She only thinks she's jealous. I mean, every time she sees your belly or I start talking about kids and home remolding she tells me she's glad she dodged that bullet. We weren't right for each other as lovers. We couldn't fulfill each other's deepest desires."

"Al, her feelings are real. Just because she doesn't want my life or the things you want from yours doesn't mean she isn't jealous. When is the last time you two spent some time just the two of you?"

"I don't even know. Once we made the decision to start the business that became the center of everything. It's our baby."

"Yes, and now your baby is a toddler and it's mommies need to take a vacation so they don't end up getting a divorce. Go up to the cabin. Fly to Vegas for all I care but you two need to remember why you love each other, that just because you chose to live a suburban soccer mom life with a quiet twist doesn't mean you aren't still the same person."

"So remind her I can still drink her under the table and beat her smart ass at poker?"

"Yeah, just without seeing who can bag the most bitches."

"Because I got the kill of a lifetime already. I'm all about quality rather than quantity these days."

"Don't you dare forget it. I'm not saying I won't remind you if necessary, just that you won't like my methodology, Dr. Alex Pearl Chapman Vause. It'll probably be a while before you guys can spend time alone together for a while with the girls coming in a few months."

"Yes, birth giver of my children. So, what are you going to do while I'm off spending time alone with Nicky?"

"I was thinking about spending some time with Cal. Taking Geo up to see his new tiny house upstate."

"Don't you have friends? Of the female variety?"

"I used to but I can't go back to those straight Brooklynites and their trendy new haunts that they claim to have rescued from the horrible fate of obscurity."

"Oh, I'm not suggesting you go back to girls you have nothing in common with except for coming from the same boring suburbs where you didn't even have the same experiences. Cause growing up a queer kid in the suburbs will never be the same, I came of age in one because it was supposed to be better suited to my needs. You need some queer friends who aren't over thirty-five."

"Technically, I have Nicky, she's thirty-four," I responded with child-like indignation.

"Yes and she doesn't count. She's our mutual friend and our unofficial middle sister," Alex replied teasingly as she wrapped her arm around my hips and kissed my cheek then turned back to chopping vegetables like nothing sweet and romantic had just happened. Like I wasn't blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"Well, Jess did invite me to come up to her house near Northampton and spend the weekend with her and her wife. I want to rebuild that friendship and so does she. We had a lot of anger but now I know it came from love and pain," I replied as the soft moment passed and I got more turned on than any woman should watching my wife run her fingers along the grooves of a bell pepper. A year ago she would have looked and smiled that cocky, seductive smile that made my panties drop every time but we were past the point of her needing to see my body language to know what her seduction was doing to me.

"And you know what I say about that," Alex responded as she put the vegetables in a hot frying pan and I listened to the oil sizzle loudly and pop.

"Yeah love is pain. But is it always? Can't it be beautiful and amazing and freeing," I asked assertively.

"Once in a while, maybe. I think that would be good for you. And you were no more right for each other than Nicky and I were. You both found your perfect person. You have a love and there's a reason she's in your life. And she seems really nice. I think she was nervous meeting me," Alex added as she kept her eyes on the vegetables sautéing but I knew she just didn't want to acknowledge that she was feeling vulnerable and was still the little girl who just wanted to be liked, to know why her daddy didn't love her mother if not her enough to stay or even give them a dime.

"Is that really all that unusual," I asked as I sized up her perfect curves and ageless skin.

"No. Why do chicks find me so intimidating," Alex asked as if she truly had no clue but her laugh melding with mine suggested she knew why better than anybody as did I.

"Have you looked at yourself lately? You are lesbian catnip," I taunted as I came up behind her and ran my hand just under the waistband of her sweats as her mouth began to tremble as it did when she was being dominated and didn't want to admit she liked it. Then came the head shake as I rubbed higher instead of lower, running my hand along her soft skin that hid just how toned she was from her love of MMA and UFC.

"I don't think it was that. Well, not just that. I don't think she expected me to not hate her. And why would I? Give her a call and I'll give Nicky a call and we'll see if we can't spend a weekend reconnecting with our closest friends now that life is quiet and settled for the moment," Alex added as she tried to get our conversation back on track but never doing the one thing that would have actually stopped it. She didn't say the word. She didn't grab my hand and dig her nails into my wrist until I drew blood and felt the rush of that moment. But I wanted to have an actual conversation with her, I could have her cock for dessert later. After we successfully fed our son an edible dinner and put him to bed clean and with a full belly. So I stopped and longed for the days I could hop up on her counter. Alex watched me trying and rolled her eyes while she grabbed a stool from the bar and snapped her fingers and made her best attempt at spurting fire from her eyes into my soul. It wasn't really effective but my need to keep her happy enough to put her cock on later was. So I sat because I was a pro at beating Alex Vause at her own game.

"Jess was talking about having a team reunion the first week of August, before schools start up, since most of the girls work in collegiate athletics now. It would just be the core group of the five of us and our wives. Now that everybody is out and married. I may have lost my college friends but did I really?"

"No, you didn't you lost years with your true friends but you gained the cutest boy in the whole world and they all congratulated you when you announced you had a wife and were having twin girls so it all worked out."

"I was expecting at least one of them to say it's about time but nobody did."

"Expect more from the people you surround yourself with, babe. It's about time you have nothing but the best, cause, well, you are, my love," Alex told me as she paused her cooking and pulled me to her lips, "my princess and my little princesses," Alex cooed as I looked at her with a combination of sweetness and shock. She didn't respond but instead rubbed my bump before returning to her cooking like she never deviated from her typical script for so much as a second. I had to admit she had a point.

After dinner, while Alex was giving Geo a bath because he always chose her for that task, as he said with rapidly increasing clarity, "Momma lets me play," I called Jess and she quickly picked up.

"Hi, uh Piper, how's married life," she asked when the phone stopped ringing. She, like Nicky, was still getting used to calling me Vause and it made me realize I had been a little harsh with her earlier but we were sisters and friends so I knew all would be forgiven without saying sorry.

"It's an adjustment all around but I love it. I'm still getting used to saying my wife. I was thinking about coming up there this weekend if your offer still stands. Alex is having a much needed weekend with her best friend who is struggling with the whole marriage thing and how different Alex is so I thought it might be the perfect time to spend some time together."

"Of course, Piper! I meant it when I said come over anytime, I'd love to see you soon! Would you need to bring your son? I mean if you did need to that would be okay. We can figure out a toddler safe sleeping arrangement and put up anything he might choke on. Or whatever you two need. It'll be good practice for when we have a couple of our own.

"I would probably drop him off with his grandma."

"I forget that Chapman married a Townie. Oh sorry, it's Vause now."

"Very funny. She hasn't lived there in over twenty years. No, it's fine, You have known me as Chapman way longer than you have as Vause and our other friends all kept or hyphenated their names."

"She's still a Townie and you're still a Smithie, _Vause_. Oh well, that mythical occurrence couldn't happen to a better person. When do you want to come up?"

"Friday afternoon work?"

"Yeah."

That Friday morning, Alex and Nicky loaded up a rented four-wheel drive SUV while Geo and I set off in the Range Rover. Now he knew that the iPad meant a trip to Nana's house and so he gleefully took the tablet and put on his headphones while he scrolled through the few apps and games that we allowed on it. Three hours later, we got to Diane's house.

"Well if it isn't my two favorite people," she hollered from her front porch as we approached the house. She folded Geo into her arms and drowned him with kisses while he squealed and squirmed in her arms. Eventually, she let us into the house with him still attached to her hip.

"What are you going to do when there's three?"

"I never imagined one. I mean sure I did when Alex was a cute little pink thing in a white blanket who was only interested in my tits," she deadpanned as she locked eyes with me and ran her gaze down to the only tits Alex was truly interested in now.

"Mom, not in front of the kid," I hollered at her as if I thought the woman who taught my wife how to survive as a woman in the world would ever do anything I told her to.

"I've been around the botha yous long enough to know he already knows that vocabulary word better than he should. Do I need to remind you about the time he asked about the p-word and then why his mommies use it if they don't have a cat," she asserted before bouncing Geo in her arms and kissing his nose, "But I think it's time somebody goes and explores the treasure chest."

"You get new things, Nana," he screeched.

"Maybe. You won't know if you don't go see," Diane responded playfully.

"Okay, Nana. Mommy, say bye before go, right," he asked me while pulling at my black leggings after Diane set him down on the floor.

"Always, sweet boy," I answered as we gave each other a quick kiss and then he ran down the hall to Diane's closet where she kept a stash of toys and books she found on sale or at dollar stores, garage sales and flea markets.

"You want a drink?"

"Margarita with an extra shot."

"Not with my grand babies in your belly you don't."

"You know I don't really. Well, not too much. I'd probably get sick from the smell anyway. Do you have lemonade?"

"Uhm, my favorite daughter calls and tells me she wants to drop my grand baby off for the weekend of course I do. You want a snack or do you have to drop off the kid and run?"

"No, I can stay for a minute. I've never been here without Alex, it's kinda weird," I told Diane as I looked around the house as if I had just arrived on a previously undiscovered planet.

"You know you are always welcome here. You're my baby girl. But yeah, it is a bit weird. I never imagined this scenario. But I'm glad my daughter has you and that I have you. You are that piece that was missing from both our lives. You are so radiant," she complimented as she watched me get settled on the couch before heading towards the kitchen.

"That's the girls, not me," I hollered as I checked my work email one last time before I officially unplugged for the weekend.

"No the girls only make it more so. How are they? I don't know if you are just showing off the belly more or they have gotten a lot bigger."

"I definitely feel like they've gone through a growth spurt recently but I'm also more comfortable showing them off now that I'm married and my parents are okay with everything. I can wear tight sweaters and dresses. I feel so much sexier this pregnancy even if I am gaining everywhere, like even in my face. That never happened with Geo. I was all bump with him."

"Yeah, I should have known Alex was just a very big baby girl. Everybody said oh the baby is big so it must be a boy. Nope, just a nine pound twenty-two-inch baby girl. But I totally carried her like a girl. And when she was born, I had it in my mind that my baby's name was Alex so that's what it was. So, my dear, the fruit of my loins behaving herself," Diane asked as she set down two glasses of lemonade and parfaits, how she guessed what I had been craving lately I didn't know and then I remembered she would know better than anybody else what a growing baby girl Vause would desire.

"Mostly. We've been going through a rough patch with Nicky and the pregnancy but it's getting better. It was just hard when I could feel her babies but she couldn't. She still wishes she could carry them more than she'll admit. I think she wanted that linkage with you."

"I would have loved to have seen my only birth daughter pregnant. It's what you dream about when the doctor tells you 'it's a girl.' You'll find out soon enough. I know you've seen them on a screen a few times but nobody will ever convince me that it's the same as the first time you and your daughter look at each other. I know her heart and she would have been amazing at it. And of course, I'd never make her think it's her fault. Cause again I know her. She already blames herself."

"I know. I just wish when she got that way she would talk to me instead of a bottle. Sometimes it's so hard to reach her. But she's worth it and I love her."

"If only she believed those things about herself."

"I'm not giving up. She is the most amazing, gorgeous woman I have ever met. She's better than the best dream I've ever had. She's the love of my life. She's my children's other parent. She's the biological mother of these girls and our future children. Who just woke up."

"Did they? Can I?"

"You are one of the two people who don't have to ask."

"Who's the other one," Diane teased.

"Who do you think," I asked with my best Alex Vause style eyebrow raise.

"Still needs practice but then again so does hers," Diane flashed me that same trait, proving just who invented it, "So where do I? How do I," she reached her hand out in an extremely rare moment of nervousness, I had seen Alex skittish more times than I had her mom. I pushed up my sweater so she could feel it better then I moved her hand to where I felt baby B kicking and pressed it deep into my skin until I saw her smile wide, "oh my God. That's amazing. She's got quite the kick, just like her mother. I used to think Alex was an octopus crossed with a pony. Sometimes she'd be so all over the place I was convinced I had two in there cause I was so much bigger than most women, even of a similar size and age to myself, and I would feel kicking in one spot and seconds later feel it in another. I was actually relieved when I went into labor and turned out it was just one nine-pound baby girl who would grow up and make me think quadruplets would have been easier than her. I'm probably the first woman to be relieved immediately after pushing out a nine pound, two feet long two weeks premature baby. I can't imagine how big she would have gotten if I carried her to term or she was overcooked."

"Do you want more than three grandchildren? Cause telling me about your nine-pound preemie is not the way to do it."

"You know I do. I want as many as possible. You chose to mate with a soft giant, that's your problem, not mine. At least you got practice with a baby on the small side of normal, I didn't even get that. I don't know how she came out so big, neither me nor Lee were very tall. Vause babies are larger but not where the doctors tell me if I had gone to term, she would have been a ten pounder, maybe bigger. So enough about the daughter who ruined my bladder in addition to everything else down there and left me looking like a zebra. Cause, knowing everything, I would do it all again. Tell me more about my granddaughters and what it's like carrying them. How do they act? What are their personalities?"

"This little one is like a little dolphin fox. She's camera shy from day one but she has her own way of making her presence known."

"Reminds me of a little girl I used to know."

"Yup our Alex. I have to bribe her to take pictures worse than I do our toddler. Unless it was her idea then she makes love to the camera. These girls are definitely hers."

"Have you felt the other one yet?"

"Alex has. This girl only has eyes for her real mother."

"I don't ever want to hear you say that again! You are both their real mothers. You both made a sacrifice and would have given your lives to give them theirs. A child can have two mothers who each had a part and I think it's so magical. So where is Baby A? I hate calling them that. Why won't you even tell me their names?"

"We don't want to commit to a first name until they are born and we see them. We have our top six, three we like for each baby. And we have their middle names," I told her as I moved her hand over to where I felt baby A kicking.

"Which are?"

"You won't tell Alex or give her any idea you know?"

"Send me videos of them moving in your belly? I used to love watching Alex dance. If she had been an easier kid, I would have had another just to see that moment one more time."

"Of course. I didn't get any videos or even any bare belly shots with Geo and now that he's firmly in kid territory I wish I had. So they are Mavery and Eliot, after our middle names. We haven't decided who gets which name but we knew from the beginning our daughter's middle name would be Mae. Then we really loved the name Avery and I saw Mavery on the top of a list of invented girl names. Alex liked the connection to the word maven so we went for it. Eliot, I liked for Geo for a second and we like the idea of claiming a boy's name for a girl and we chose to spell it like George Eliot so she'd be named after a badass female writer. I considered naming him after me but then it didn't feel right for him. I loved Atlas but thought he needed a normal name, so I chose George but to call him Geo because he was my whole world already. And at the time, I thought he always would be."

"I love those names. And I'm sure I'll love the names you choose. I understand why you wouldn't want to share your runner up names, since this hopefully isn't you girls' last pregnancy. I still can't believe my daughter's babies are in there. It's still totally surreal."

"Alex's babies in my belly is still surreal to me too. If you want something to make it more real, we have our big level two ultrasound on Wednesday. I'm kinda nervous about it cause it's going to be super long. They have to check everything twice, once for each baby, in depth. You could come. Be my support person."

"What about Alex?"

"She provided some crucial biological material, so she's of course invited but she's not much help. And she could use someone who still possesses the energy to put her in her place and remind her where that is. That she's not my doctor, well, not anymore."

"Pretending I didn't hear that, Piper Elizabeth Vause!"

"Oh but you know you did mom. Should I remind you that I was born in 1990?"

"That's the other thing we don't discuss. But I would be honored to be there. I was kind of hoping you would invite me to your appointments but I know my place. I'm not going to be that mother-in-law who thinks she has a right to her daughter-in-law's womb because it's carrying a part of something that was once part of her in it."

"You are always welcome at my appointments, mom. Or anything else. I want you around. I need you around, mostly so Alex doesn't give our daughters her designer clothes and shoes addiction," I hugged her after she got done rolling her eyes at me blaming Alex for something she was merely more guilty of doing and then we got a snack and sat on the couch talking about her pregnancy with Alex and raising daughters. She told me how proud she was to be a girl mom, to have raised a daughter who was strong, passionate and warm-hearted, who was a mix of traits most would think contradicted each other but she managed to pull it off flawlessly.


	58. Chapter 58

"Finally, Piper," Jess teased as I got out of the car in front of her house, "Nice Range Rover, when you said your loaded wife spoils you, I didn't think you meant this spoiled. How rich is she?"

"Enough. And this isn't even the most important way she spoils me or the most visible anymore," I told her as I flicked my ring in her direction.

"Can I," she asked as she reached for my hand to admire the gleaming rock on my finger.

"Uhm, we dated, we nearly slept together. You weren't nervous to put your hands wherever you wanted when we were nineteen."

"I just don't want it to be weird. I don't know how things are with Alex. From what I know about her she's the possessive type."

"I know it's cliché but it's true, she's different with me. And it's so refreshing. Larry was so controlling. He never trusted me but expected me to trust him. Alex's best friend and business partner is her ex-girlfriend and I had a kid with someone else, we had to start from a place of trust that most relationships don't. We both had babies we loved, lives with other people but now our lives have melded together beautifully. Our relationship is almost too healthy sometimes if that's possible. I mean we still have our explosions and as Diane reminded me about an hour ago our son knows a lot of things that he shouldn't, but she is the most amazing partner. It's so refreshing after everything I've been through since that night with you when I was a total chicken shit."

"You just weren't ready. I was nineteen when I said those things. I don't think them anymore. I understand that bisexuality is a valid identity. I just wanted to see you happy and doing what you wanted. I didn't want you to settle for what anybody else told you that you should have or want. Still don't and still never will. I knew your worth from the first time I asked you to coffee."

"You were justifiably angry. I would have said what you did if I had been you. So that thing about picking a side?"

"Call yourself what you want just if that woman treats you as good as you say she does then you cherish her twice as much as she does you. Cause I don't know how she exists, let alone how you were the one lucky enough to bag that goddess and wife her up but you were and it couldn't have happened to a better person. I just didn't want to see you settle. I know how amazing you are. You are funny and sweet and still the best kisser I've ever known."

"Should I tell your wife that?"

"She already knows if I weren't with her, I would be with you in a second. I've only ever truly loved two people. Piper, one of the things that brought you and I together when we were sophomores at Smith was that we loved the same way, with the same loyalty and intensity. We don't fall out of love with people if we truly love them."

"And if I weren't with my wife, I'd probably consider it. Sometimes I wondered how my life would have been different if I had made a different choice that night when we came so close."

"You wouldn't have gotten knocked up at like twenty-three, that's for sure."

"I'm not sure that's a plus or not. I can't imagine living in a world without my silly monkey boy. He makes everyone he encounters so happy and playful, even Nicky who had never even remotely liked a kid or enjoyed spending time with one in her life until she met Geo. She still claims she won't change diapers, but I know the first time her nieces cry and their mommies are busy, she'll be looking for the diapers and wipes before even previewing the contents of the diaper. And Alex is my soulmate. I was meant for her."

"And Ashlyn is mine. She helped me glue those last broken pieces back together after you. Cause, bitch, you broke my fucking heart but I'm sure I'm not the only one, especially now cause no man or woman or whatever else in between can compete with the goddess you married. If you can get that then us mere mortals don't stand a chance. You are probably only going to break more hearts now."

"Oh yeah, every time I kiss my wife in public somebody's heart breaks and some dude loses a boner."

"Speaking from experience, I wouldn't be so sure of the second one. You two kissing is hotter than any porn I've ever watched."

"There might be a reason but I'm not about to tell you outside."

"God, I wish we could just get drunk and stupid like the old days before you decided Polly was your college best friend and not me. What happened to that lovely individual anyway? I was surprised when I got to your wedding and she wasn't there," Jess asked as she grabbed my bag from me and watched to make sure I made it up her front steps okay and into the house.

"You were right and then some," I choked out before I burst into tears as I fell into her couch.

"Oh, sweetie, that's nothing anybody wants to be right about. I'm going to get some wine, what would you like? Tea?"

"Well, I'd like wine but I don't think my daughters would appreciate it as much as I would, so neither would I. So green tea would be great with a little honey."

"You act like I've never made you tea before or you've changed over the decade plus that I've known you."

"Well considering that I'm carrying my wife's babies I think I've changed a teensy bit."

"I don't know if I would say that constitutes a twist in your story. I'm still not sure I buy the bisexual thing in your case, but I will respect however you choose to self-identify. You are the dykey one in your marriage, just in case nobody has made you aware of that fact."

"What cause I'm into sports and don't have those typical feminine nurturer qualities?"

"Those are two of many reasons. It's not a bad thing. We'll talk about that next. And maybe you'll elaborate on your earlier porn comment. We have all night."

"Where's Ash?"

"She decided to spend some time with her sister, she's meeting us for brunch tomorrow and then we can spend the afternoon together. Is that going to be a problem with your wife? You know, us being alone together?"

"No. She's spending time unattended with her best friend all weekend. And their thing ended like five or six years ago, well Nicky told me they fucked once after a party three years ago but I've never asked Alex about it cause it was before we got together, they were drunk, horny and neither found anything better to play with. Once they opened Artemis, they agreed they couldn't fuck anymore and Nicky told her that she needed to find someone who wanted something serious. But at that point, Alex had made up her mind that she was done with women and sex and just wanted to have her baby. To create a perfect being to worship her, as if that was somehow healthier but it's also what she knows. Lucky for me she realized she was just done with unhealthy sexual entanglements."

"A woman like that has no business being Ace."

"Yeah, that's about as hilarious as me thinking I had any business giving frat boys blow jobs so they wouldn't stick their dick other places."

"Yeah, you're bisexual. Sure, Piper. Do you want to order dinner or go out?"

"Can we just order in? I just want to relax on the couch. These girls like to shift positions every time I get comfortable. I don't even like going out to eat with my wife."

"I wouldn't either. I wouldn't even like going to eat in the dining room if I could fuck a woman like your sex goddess of a wife whenever I wanted," she teased before turning serious as I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her, "If you need anything let me know," she told me soothingly.

"Well, my wife does give me a massage every night. She's probably drinking whiskey out of the bottle and playing poker with her ex, I don't think she'd have a problem with one little massage as long as I wear a sports bra and panties."

"Yes, because we've never been there before," Jess answered sarcastically from her kitchen.

"Funny, bitch."

"You know you love me."

"If I knew that this would be my house."

"I thought we agreed it wouldn't. And I've seen the pictures of Castle de Vauses and damn, bitch. That place was like a home out of a magazine before you chose to spend what I spent on my home remodeling it, oh sorry customizing it to your unique needs as lesbian giant and her bisexual princess bride," Jess teased as she put a crudité platter in front of me and an iced green tea with just enough honey and lemon garnished with a honey straw, she really didn't forget anything about my likes and dislikes from my college days.

"So, tell me about Polly. What happened? How long have you been out of contact?"

"After college and I moved to New York she came to visit, just before I met the idiot. She loved it so she never left. She moved into my apartment in Brooklyn and we went out meeting guys and I waited tables while she looked for jobs in sales and marketing. We started making soap in my apartment, just for fun and then she got the idea, really I think our friends told her, that we could make a lot of money selling it. Right around that time, I met Larry and he had a friend named Pete who Polly fell in love with and now has a son with and is married to. I wasn't sure I wanted any of it. But she convinced me this was what women dreamed of. I had the perfect guy who all my friends envied and now I had the opportunity to be a female entrepreneur. To have real power and that I didn't need to go to NYU. That I could have a great life without it. I still felt a pull to these fuzzy dreams I had but I gave in. I listened to her instead of myself. We started the business, I moved in with the idiot and she and Pete kept my old apartment. Within a few months, I was knocked up and I didn't want to be. Then I found out I was further along then I thought I was and while I could choose not to have the baby it wouldn't be as simple as I had been hoping for. And I didn't want to take the risk that this could be my only chance to have a child. But still, I didn't really want it and wasn't totally sure I wanted kids. I knew Larry didn't. But I hoped he was just one of those guys who just doesn't like other people's kids. He wasn't. He will never like kids or being around them. He did it to please his mother. But his mother wanted a perfect little Jewish boy and she was more harsh than necessary towards him. She used to beat my son with a wooden spoon while saying horrible things about me and it got worse after she figured out I was 'a fucking dyke who wanted to steal her son's seed' as she called me the last time I saw her. I did not want his sperm in me, that was his idea. I liked his dick. I liked how it made me feel and what it did for me. I liked having dick in cunt sex with him but that doesn't mean I wanted him to put a baby in me. A girl can just want to have sex with a cute, sweet boy and not be a slut or trying to get pregnant. So Geo was born and Polly tried to be supportive but she felt she had to compete with me and do whatever I did better. So she married Pete out of spite when Geo was almost three months old. They just had a small courthouse ceremony with me, Larry, her sister and Pete's best mate. She then convinced him to stop using condoms a month before their wedding, she had already secretly stopped using her birth control. Three months later, she announced that she was fourteen weeks pregnant and gave birth 'early' or so she claimed to a seven-pound baby boy when Geo was almost ten months old. But she loved her company more than him and Pete didn't want to be tied down so when Geo was around one, he got snipped and it improved their marriage or so she claimed. But still she kept telling me I should marry Larry, even though she had seen him yell at me and physically abuse me. She always told me 'he's just drunk' or 'you shouldn't have been checking other people out' or anything else I did that made him jealous or unhappy or 'you hit him first'. It was never his fault. I had always done something wrong to provoke him. He was a good man, a sweet guy and he was cute. And pretty good in bed or so I thought until I had my first orgasm literally at the hands of Alex Vause and realized I had no clue about sex and how it was supposed to feel. Plus, he was my baby's father and my son deserved to have his father in his life. My friends and my family agreed on that much and that rarely happened. So I believed all that. So I accepted it. I listened to her. Even as I started feeling progressively drawn to not only men but women. I would go on dates when we were on a break. I had a lot of anonymous sex and some not so anonymous sex with guys trying to fuck everything away. But Polly wasn't there. Her only advice was I needed to make things work with Larry. I was suicidal because I couldn't go on anymore. She downplayed it or said I couldn't possibly be serious. When you are asking your best friend if she would be the guardian for your kid, it's a realistic plan. A real friend would have said let's check you into the hospital and get you help but she didn't. She said of course she would always take care of Geo if I needed to take some time to figure out how to make things work with Larry. I was past that point by then. I was getting drunk on wine and watching lesbian stuff online, then it turned into porn and neglecting my son's needs during the night. I couldn't be a mother and that's when Polly's idea of helping was to tell Larry how bad things were with my alcohol and homosexual fantasies, knowing he would try to make my worst fear come true and take him because as she said, 'I was becoming an alcoholic lesbo and it was only a matter of time before I found some powdered alcohol. And I was using benzos and Ambien but still as prescribed. She was certain I would end up hooked on Coke or street drugs. Probably not an untrue assertion since I couldn't die but couldn't live either. Larry sued me for custody so I took every penny I had and found a lawyer, I didn't tell the lawyer at this point that I was bisexual but she suggested therapy, to make it look like I was working on my issues when we went to court. The director at Geo's old school told me about her friend-"

"Let me guess, her friend's name was Dr. Alex Vause?"

"Bingo. So, and this part is just between us, I emailed her and she emailed me back. And she just had this way of making me feel better and reassuring me. She was gentle and the first person to ever just listen. She never really gave me advice, she let me talk myself into the answers. She never judged me or told me things were my fault. Then we started just talking about everything under the sun. Our conversations became about movies and books and music instead of me. She didn't tell me much about herself at that point, but she had already broken the therapeutic relationship we were building and let me in more than a professional should. But I didn't mind. Looking back, I can find the moment she developed a crush on me and after that everything became about making me fall for her as she was for me."

"Looks like whatever she did worked since you ended up with her egg in your womb."

"Nope just bumped into her one day, our abs slammed together and I guess I hit an ovary too hard too close to my uterus and bam, embryo then whoops it split and turned into two fetuses because my wife is part mutant or something equally not-quite human and this egg has all her best genes," I joked.

"Yes and next you are gonna tell me that you tripped and fell and your tongue just happened to land in her vagina."

"No, but that is how her dick ended up there."

"I like this new Piper. She's fun without four shots of tequila. Go on and we'll get back to our favorite psychiatrist since Lucy started asking for nickels."

"Of course, I fell for Alex. I fell for her before I knew what she looked like. I fell for her personality, heart, and spirit, I just got lucky that she wasn't butt ass ugly. And Polly didn't like it. And she really didn't like it when I told her I planned on raising Geo with Alex. She thinks a boy needs his father and thought that I should accept full responsibility for my irresponsible actions and marry the man who got me pregnant. I didn't want my son to end up with a dead mother and I knew either he would end up beating me to death accidentally, I'd end up overdosing on pills and alcohol or killing myself to end it all because I couldn't take it. I loved my son too much. I didn't love myself but I loved my son and he loved me. I knew I had to do what was best for him and I knew that was Alex. She called her some horrible things and said some homophobic crap. She never wanted to try to see the Alex I saw, that I loved. She believed what people said about her and I know she did enough damage around Northampton that you know what those things are, even though you've never mentioned it."

"If I believed a word of it, I'd be the first to say and you know it. I have some questions and you know I'm gonna get some answers before the night is through. I've always tried to protect you, Piper. You are so trusting and don't make great decisions when it comes to Piper and what you deserve. I like Alex, in every sense of the word. And I really did hope Polly would be able to give you what you needed that I evidently couldn't. I would never have let you live with a man who hit you and we took the same classes and went to the same rallies, there's never a good reason for a man to hit a woman or force her to do anything. I'm not saying women should be absolved of their bad behavior simply for chromosomes and body parts but that men have power that women never will. Men are pit bulls, women are chihuahuas, both can dole out some pretty gnarly bites but one is still more deadly by virtue of breeding. Did he hit you when you were pregnant?"

"He started abusing me when I was pregnant. When I decided not to have a late surgical abortion because I was worried about how it would affect me in the future. I didn't want kids in my early twenties, cause who really does but I didn't want to find myself in ten years unable to have them, I wanted the option. That theoretical choice mattered more to me than the very real choice I had to make. And now that I have these girls growing inside me, I know I made the right one. He would tell me he hoped I lost the thing or that it had the good sense to strangle itself in my belly. He didn't seem to care that then I would have to go through induction to push out a dead baby. That was my problem, not his. He never understood the physical toll a live baby had on my body, I couldn't ask him to you know," I paused as I couldn't say the words when I could feel my daughters swimming in my belly.

"Yeah to understand what a dead one would do to you. That your body would do everything it was designed to do for a live baby but with nothing to show for it."

"He was repulsed by my body but he was faithful so when he needed sex, he fucked me without caring about my comfort until he was satisfied."

"Did he rape you?"

"I never said no and he was the father of my child."

"Doesn't mean he can't be your rapist too. You know what the definition of the term is."

"He had sex with me when I didn't want it with implied consent, we'll say that."

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry," she reached for my hand and ran her finger along the hills and valleys of my knuckles as she held my palm tightly, "I always knew you were one of the strongest willed people I had ever met. I never wanted to think you could have to be that strong. How long was Polly around after you got serious with Alex?"

"Last January, Geo and I moved in with Alex. I left the business Polly and I started, I sold my shares to Polly with Alex's money and went to work starting Alex's foundation and overseeing her businesses. I was already a marketing and community outreach consultant for her therapy practice. Now I'm the Executive Director of the Artemis Foundation and Marketing and Community Outreach Director at Artemis Health. I also own a third of Vause Investment Ventures, her real estate and remodeling business and venture capital firm. And I'm in charge of brand identity and digital/social media marketing for the company. She calls me the Chief Marketing Officer. Her mom runs the office. But after I left, I didn't talk to Polly again. She made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me and didn't want me to influence her son to be queer like me or think men are unnecessary," I explained as I settled back down and for the first time in a long time, my heart felt truly free as she dropped my hand into my lap and went to make us some coffee.

"Did she know about your plans to have children with Alex," she asked when she came back with two steaming mugs and a big bottle of organic creamer tucked in her arm.

"No. I had barely learned about the embryo that became these girl's existence back then. Alex and I had discussed having a house full of kids but I wasn't about to tell Polly that and make things worse. I was happy and done with the drama and pleasing everybody else. With being the Piper everybody else wanted me to be and fearing if I wasn't nobody would love me. Alex loved my true self. My son did. And when my family saw how happy Alex made Geo and I so did they," I explained as I poured creamer into my coffee and took a sip.

"You left me off that list, sweetie. I always loved you for the amazing person you are. So does that mean there's an open position in your life," she asked as she tested her coffee and reached for two stone coasters.

"That depends. Are you putting in an application," I asked as I playfully shoved her arm.

"Yes. I want to be your best friend. I want to show you how a sister is supposed to be. Cause Polly never treated you like a sister. But I knew you wouldn't listen, that you would have to find out for yourself. So I resolved that when you did, I would be around no matter how much it hurt," she told me as she returned my nudge.

"Of course. I invited you to my wedding because I wanted you to see just how right you were and to say thank you and sorry. You were a big part of making that day happen," I told her as she put some relaxing music on in the background.

"So are you going to ever go to NYU? Wouldn't it be like free now," she asked as we kept sipping at our coffees once she sensed I was ready to change the topic of conversation.

"Yeah, I can go for free. I'm applying to Gallatin for a Ph.D. in the spring. Right now, bringing these girls into the world and getting them through their first months is my priority. I'll probably have the next one while I'm in school but at least I'll have that time with our first kids together and that will never happen again. I want to spend as much time as I can with her, especially seeing Alex and Diane and wanting to do everything I can to cultivate the good parts of that in my own life with our daughters. Especially since I know how badly Alex wants that too and all she went through to make it happen."

"How many more are there?"

"Sixteen. Nine female and seven male."

"You aren't planning on having all sixteen, are you?"

"If I could without ruining my body and risking my life and theirs I would. I love and desire every part of my wife and those embryos are an important part of her. I had very different feelings on the subject until the moment I looked at the pictures of my lover's embryos, when they were clumps of her before I even knew she nearly died trying to create them. They are hers and any of them that choose to grow in my womb will be ours. But usually half don't survive the thaw, so the chances are we'll get four if we use all the embryos," I told her as I felt Baby B kick, "and no more decide to split," I added.

"The thought of having one baby just growing and pissing inside me is so weird, I couldn't imagine carrying twins. Not that I can't imagine the good things too. The amazing shit."

"I never thought I would either."

"I never imagined you'd be a mother but here you are lounging on my couch with a swollen belly and your toddler at grandma's house a few miles away."

"I'm still not very good at it. I'm a great parent, I'm just not a mother. I'm not very maternal. I guess I fit better into the more paternal role where I provide the basics but I'm lost when it comes to everything else. I'm not nurturing. I'm not the one who is going to make everything a fun game. I'll take my kid to the park, teach him how to throw a ball and that kind of stuff. But when it comes to cooking and bath time and skinned knees beyond slapping on a bandage I have no clue. I used to wonder how other moms did it, how it came so easy. I hated them but then I saw Alex and Diane with Geo and they were so natural. Even they don't know how they do it. It's second nature to them but to me, it's a struggle. I love my kids and with a supportive partner who I made the deliberate, knowing choice to pursue an activity that could result in pregnancy, I love it. Everybody who sees us thinks Alex is the bio mom of Geo, I think they just figure he looks like his donor. We're obviously a lesbian couple so nobody questions that she has this kid who she seems to be the mother of who looks nothing like her. And I look too young to be the mom of a preschooler. It'll be interesting when the kids do look like her and they have a biological tie. I corrected people the first few times but then Geo told me when I was putting him to bed one night, 'Mommy, I don't mind when people think I come from Momma belly. I know I come from your belly and I love you both so much. You both my mommies, it doesn't matter which belly I come from.' After that, I let people think whatever they wanted about the true nature of my relationship and our family. That kid has a way of kicking my ass and putting things into perspective. I told Diane that once shortly after that particular incident and how sometimes I was convinced I needed him more than he could ever need me and all she said was 'Yeah, I know, mine too.'"

"That's an amazing kid. He's a smart one."

"Yeah, he is. He's a sweet boy. Even after seeing everything he did his first nearly two years of life. He's so good-natured. I don't know where he gets it from."

"I'm looking right at her. You've been through some shit and I thought that just from what you told me when we were in college, before you told me what you've been through since graduating from Smith. And you still have so much love and believe people are good. And you are a woman, you can't be paternal. You are just a mother in your own way and got lucky to find a partner, a woman who fills in those places where you just aren't skilled. You are a great mom. I can tell just by seeing you with Geo and how your hand hasn't left your belly the whole time we've been talking. The way you beam and gush when you talk about your kids. You are a mom. Maybe you aren't the mom who bakes cookies but you'll be the mom cheering loudest at their soccer games and the mom at their matches all the kids hate until they take your advice and the next game they decimate the whole team. Cause we both know you are a damn good coach. And a kid needs that kind of nurturing as much as they need cookies and a mom to be goofy and playful and patient. You make tiny humans and you are obviously good at it. That's a mother. I'd like to see a man carry twins for five minutes."

"I've dated plenty of man-children and yeah they couldn't handle a day of this and go to work ten to twelve hours a day nauseous and tired the whole time."

"Aren't you in the second trimester?"

"Hate to break it to you but it can last all pregnancy, all day. Twins make it worse. I was barely sick with our son but this pregnancy, I'm sick constantly. Are you guys still looking into it?"

"We want to do it but it's too expensive. Now we're looking into just both doing IUI or trying at-home insemination."

"If it's what you want then I'm sure Alex wouldn't mind if I helped you pay for it. She knows what you did for me and she knows how rewarding and challenging building a family is."

"Thanks, Piper," she answered as she scrolled through her phone while we reminisced about our favorite local restaurants. After we chose a place and the food both arrived and was consumed she grabbed a pillow and leaned against the other arm of her couch.

"So now that we've gotten through all the emotional and reminiscing stuff, let's get to the fun stuff. Is anything off-limits on the subject of Dr. Alex Vause?"

"Depends. Ask whatever you want to ask and I'll answer if I think Alex would be cool with it. I want you to trust her and what we have."

"I already do that, I'm just curious about some things."

"Such as?"

"Let's start with what I do believe about the things people say about the woman you call your wife and if you are into, I find shocking. Is she really into leather and BDSM and are you?"

"Uhm, yeah. She lives for leather couches, four-poster beds, and red lipstick. The second time I came over to her place I told her how nice her bed was. How soft and comfy it is. She glared at me and told me that wasn't the point and back then I didn't know any better so I, of course, asked what the point was and after a couple rounds of are you sures and yeses I found myself blindfolded with my limbs tied to the bed and her lips and hands doing whatever they wanted before she went down on me with the blindfold off. Just when I thought she had no more tricks, without losing her rhythm on my pussy she untied the blindfold right before she let me cum. I had never watched anyone give me an orgasm but that day she kept fucking me until I learned to keep my eyes open when the master was at work on her favorite muse. And now I love to watch myself get fucked or made love to. It just makes everything so much more intense."

"I bet you were walking crooked for a while after that."

"Oh, I was. We gradually ramped things up over time and I became both her play partner and lover, which was new for her. Usually, they were two different kinds of women but we work because she can find both parts in me."

"What about you? Why does she work for you?"

"Cause she melds and plays with gender and roles so well. She's so fluid in all the ways I find exciting. She looks good in anything and no matter how much makeup or product she puts in her hair. I could talk to her for hours or even just sit in her presence and watch her read a book. The first time I thought she didn't want me there, that she wanted her time and she did but she wanted to fit me into her world. I got used to it and realized that's all I've ever really wanted, to have someone fit me into their world. To come together as two whole people. I didn't want to be somebody's world or have somebody be mine, I wanted a partner. But I also craved adrenalin and Alex gives me all of that. And it helps that she lets me fuck her tits and do things to her ass."

"Piper Elizabeth! What would your mother think? I know that she knows about you and Alex but does she know about that?"

"What the part where Alex ties me up? Where she's my dom and I'm her pet? Or the part that would shock the whole world, that Alex Vause, great lesbian BDSM-positive sex therapist and infamous dyke leather top lets her wife fuck whatever body part she wants, however, she wants to fuck it from their first night together?"

"Damn, Piper. What happened to the sweet girl who wouldn't let me make love to her?"

"Well, maybe you should have tied me up first and not given me the option of running. Especially since, unlike Alex the first time she tied me up, you knew how good of a runner I am."

"I could, I would never and I didn't think that was something you wanted. Were you scared the first time she did it?"

"The leaves were falling, I was falling in love with my soulmate and nothing else mattered. I trusted her and wanted her to open my world up. I knew she was the one who could guide me out of my misery and help me explore who Piper was and come to terms with myself. I was nervous, of course. I liked her but I had never been all that into sex and really wasn't into oral. Turns out I just have exceptionally high standards. The first time her tongue swiped along my pussy I felt like I could fly. The whole fireworks and earth moving were real. It was even better once she realized I like it when she plays with her food a little bit first. That touching my pussy isn't the be all end all main goal."

"You still like that spot on your inner thigh touched and kissed, don't you?"

"And Alex found another one behind my right ear. And she likes to kiss it in public knowing what it does to me."

"What's her spot? I won't tell. Anything you say tonight is between us, merely for my own curiosity."

"The spot where her cleavage starts. I kiss there and I can get whatever I want. She loves when I touch her left cheek when we kiss. When I rest my head on her shoulder. What really kills her is when I massage her scalp, especially when she's having a little snack and finds a spot her little power bottom doesn't want her to ever leave."

"Does she really have a box of dicks? A pleasure chamber? A closet that makes her a virtual lesbian Christian Grey?"

"Oh, she does. And other assorted toys. She's acquired a lot of new ones since we started sleeping together, including a double-sided dildo."

"What? Everybody knows Alex Vause doesn't do penetration! That's more than a rumor, it's a fact she has acknowledged every time the topic comes up!"

"Yes, and she did with me but she likes it from me and at first only if she's inside me at the same time or using it to fuck me. It adds a degree of realness and closeness because then we don't need a harness and it really feels like her dick inside my vagina making us both cum."

"Well, I guess we know where baby dolls come from now. Are you sure these girls aren't going to come out with like silicone instead of human flesh covering their insides?"

"We made love like good little vanilla lesbians the night they were 'made.'"

"How do you decide that?"

"The night before our embryo transfer, we had passionate sex in a bubble bath with candles and lots of fingers and kisses. Then we went to bed and the next morning I was technically pregnant. Although they would have been conceived on Halloween and that lovemaking was anything but sweet and gentle. She had me bent over the counter in our bathroom and made me watch her fuck me with an eight-inch dildo until I took every inch of it and then proceeded to tie me up and fuck me again while I was still raw. To make it even more torturous, she didn't let me make a sound but she could groan and tell me how tight I was and generally say anything she wanted. But of course, I was the one tugging at her hips to keep her inside me and then pulling her hair to keep her tongue on my clit after her dick got so tired it couldn't hold it's erection and the damn thing was molded that way. Yet can never match my stamina in the bedroom. Hell, I even exhaust the great sex-fiend that is Alex Vause."

"No way! Dr. Five Chicks in a Night?"

"Oh, that's not the most she's ever had in a night. Even her mom knows that."

"Her mom cool with it?"

"She is now. I mean no mom would be cool with coming home and seeing her ten-year-old having sex with a thirteen-year-old, who was actually fourteen but only I know that. She always knew Alex was gay and that never mattered but how out and sex-positive she was worried her getting assaulted for the way she lives her life and the things she says. And she pictured getting that call. She still does. She was surprised the first time she caught me on top of Alex kissing her and the first time she heard Alex having an uncontrollable orgasm. And the first time she asked so where's Piper when we were in bed with the door to our room or hers at her mom's partially open and my head was between her legs under the sheet. And of course, being Alex Vause she had to say, 'having breakfast.'"

"What did Diane say? Cause I know what my mom would say if I made that joke."

"She told her to stay out of her kitchen if that was her idea of making breakfast for her girlfriend. And she's learned never to ask us if we want to go out to eat for obvious reasons. She rolls her eyes, sighs and shakes her head. It's entertaining. But that time she just closed the door. And I knew better than to let up or chuckle the least bit unless I wanted to get her teeth and claws on my skin in a not entirely pleasurable way."

"And how is that not abuse?"

"I am in control of any scenario she creates. I can withdraw consent at any time and I know what the consequences are for any action. If I do something that gets me punished, it's knowing what she'll do and wanting her to do it. She doesn't beat me. It's about pleasure. And she may be the dom but I am in control of the play the whole time. She wants me to enjoy it and demands to know the second I'm not."

"Do you still do BDSM now that you are pregnant? Do you do costumes and stuff?"

"Yes. We, of course, make sure it's safe and Alex is an expert on motherhood and S&M separately so she knows what she's doing and what she should do. Just as with any physical activity, if you are used to doing it before pregnancy and it feels comfortable and it's safe and sane then its fine to continue. And yes. My wife fills out a corset-like nothing else. And when we first started playing she leash trained me, she still makes me wear a collar sometimes but that's just so nobody tries to take her girl. We haven't done too much dress up stuff but I'm sure when we need a little spice we will and it's something I want to explore now that we are married and have a closet just for sex stuff, our bedroom has three closets and our contractor is on Alex's payroll so he didn't say a word when we made that design request. Plus we have a nice dungeon with a toddler-proof lock."

"Damn. You are a kinky little thing. It's probably good that we never got together. I wouldn't have been able to satisfy you and there would be no chance we could be best friends. I'm kinda glad we never had sex. You are hot but we would have been so incompatible in the bedroom. I'm just a garden-variety vanilla lesbian."

"I'm glad too. I like you more as my friend. And I'm glad I waited for the one. If I had known how amazing sex would feel with her, I would have completely waited for her and never let anyone touch my uncovered pussy with anything and definitely never let anyone else inside me. I wish she had gotten my virginity. That I had saved myself for marriage."

"It's probably a good thing you didn't. Because I've seen that woman with Geo and how raising him brings you together in a way that it might not otherwise. And fucking a woman like that takes some practice and deserving that queen demands kissing a few frog princes along the way. I was at a bar with some friends, a few of them from Smith, just before we went up to Manhattan for your wedding and they all thought it was sweet how I was taking my wife to NYC for Valentine's Day. I told them I was going there for a lesbian wedding. They asked who's and I answered Chapman. They couldn't believe it, not that you are in love with a woman but that you admitted it and your parents let you marry one. Then one of them asked who is she marrying? And I said Alex Vause and the whole fucking bar gasped. Long story short, I am a legend at that bar and no longer have to pay for beer on tap there."

"Yeah, that sounds like my life. Alex waves at a bouncer and we're in with no cover. She never waits in lines and always gets first class and the best table. I haven't bought a drink in like eighteen months. They find out who my girl is and people scurry. I like the power but Alex makes sure I keep some humility and stay in check. She doesn't want her reputation tarnished."

"She has a ring on her finger and knocked up her chick, her reputation is toast. She's just another domesticated once solely career-focused lesbian trading beer bottles for bottles of her lover's breast milk."

"Only the part she never asked for in the first place. She likes being a domestic, power dyke and she can cook. Man, that woman is as amazing in the kitchen as she is the bedroom."

"Yeah, I can tell. It looks like she's pretty good at more than adequately filling your belly."

"She is. Anything else you are curious about?"

"Who's her dad? Do you know?"

"Uhm, I have her babies in my belly. I know everything there is to know about their genes. So yes, I know. I'm the only person other than her mom who does know. But that name isn't for me to give. If she chooses to tell you or anyone else for that matter, she will. He's never done anything for her except provide a sperm, he's insignificant and doesn't deserve the power."

"Is it true that he's a famous rock star though? Without telling me who he is or what band he might be part of."

"At the time Alex was conceived he was. Now he's a casino has been. He's a drummer so not even really a face of the band."

"When was that?"

"1979. Her birthday is in eighteen, no nineteen days."

"Piper!"

"The age difference is insignificant when we get down to the connection between us and our ability to respond to each other's needs. Alex is young for her age and I'm old for mine. Even if I hadn't had a kid young, I still would have been an old soul," I asserted confidently but the way Jess' eyes softened as I explained my feelings on the subject told me I didn't have to, that she accepted it. Of course, she had seen us in the most loving moment any couple can share, the one when we were wed.

"True. I'm glad you're happy. I love seeing this side of you. Pregnant and in love and completely unafraid to be every bit of your true self that evidently is kinkier than I ever expected. Should we get some sleep," she asked as she looked at the ornamental clock above the mantle.

"Yeah and I want to say good night to Alex," I added

"I'll bet you do. Just if you cum on my sheets throw them in the washer," she told me in a sarcastic tone as she got off the couch and began clearing cups and dishes from the coffee table.

"I'm not going to-"

"Sure, Piper. You act like I don't know what a loving wife does when she has a bed to herself. And if I weren't married and she wasn't my best friend's wife I know I would," she teased.

"True. Night, Jess," I told her after she showed me where everything was and she pulled me into a warm embrace outside the guest bedroom.

"Night, Piper," she replied as she let me go and closed the door then walked down the hall to her own room. Once curled up in bed I video chatted with Alex. I showed Alex my belly and she cooed at her daughters and gave them kisses while they kicked and flipped wildly. This was definitely a moment to add to a letter to nineteen-year-old Piper, not that she would have believed a word of anything that had happened this day.


	59. Chapter 59

A month later, I was lying on an exam table with Diane and Alex beside me waiting for the doctor to come in and give me the most crucial ultrasound of my pregnancy. Everything had been normal so far, easy even. Things between Alex, Nicky and I had greatly improved since our respective girls weekends and one night a week I gave Nicky custody of Alex with the promise that "She'd have Cinderella home by midnight with both glass slippers intact," as she liked to joke. I used that night to go out with my own friends or enjoy some alone time in Brooklyn. The three of us did lunch one day a month and once a month a double date with her and Lorna. I had given up running shortly after returning from Hawaii and now preferred a light jog or a long walk with my wife, our son and new four-legged FBI Academy dropout, Hera. We had just finished with renovations at our dream house and were moving in just after Easter. We had started the kindergarten application process but had also toured the local elementary school by our new house as a backup and had liked it. We struggled with knowing how even good quality public education had failed both of us when it came to nurturing our extraordinary gifts, Alex in academics, me in athletics and both of us in innovative and independent thinking.

At that moment, however, I could think of nothing but all the things that could go wrong with our daughters and their shared placenta, I couldn't wait for the doctor to come in and offer us some reassurance. I wanted to be full of excitement and wonder at the prospect of seeing the little girls I loved like Diane and Alex were but I couldn't be. Everything had seemed good and my belly was getting big but until I saw them I couldn't be for sure. It was so easy, even easier than when I had been pregnant with Geo to find the horror stories of women with the reasonably normal side effects of pregnancy and going to their second trimester ultrasound only to find out something was drastically wrong despite how they felt. Or they could find TTTS, which I knew this early in pregnancy could be fatal or at least extremely dangerous. Alex wasn't an optimist so much as an overly confident realist who held strongly to her belief that she was an expert enough doctor and mother that if something were horribly wrong with her daughters then she would know about it. I didn't even try to argue with that version of my wife anymore. I just said, "yes, honey" and smiled just enough to let her know I thought she was being a cocky idiot. Even if that was my least favorite version of her, I still loved her every second of every day. Diane was just thrilled to be there, to get to see her granddaughters moving and doing the things babies did in the womb in person instead of through videos on her daughters' phones or pictures we posted or otherwise showed her.

"You worrying again, babe," Alex asked as she ran her warm hand over my cool forehead.

"Yeah. I just know I'm at that point where so much could go wrong. They're so close to being big enough for me to meet them and I'm so attached. I don't know what I'd do if one of them didn't survive."

"You don't have any of the signs of TTTS and your belly is large for a twin pregnancy but it always has been. In medicine when it comes to babies, we make plot points along a line and look if it stays on a consistent path and they are. If there was anything to be worried about you know I'd be the first one freaking the fuck out, babe. And I know I don't need to ask for the millionth time if you trust me," Alex said with the sort of piercing glare that even I didn't dare create a witty comeback for, although I knew it wasn't nearly as commanding as she wanted it to be. I knew my wife's smallest tells by now as to when she was scared and vulnerable. And I hated seeing the strong, smart woman I loved in pain and going out of her mind. It didn't just break my heart, it broke every part of me down to my most basic elemental, soul-crushing level.

I raised my arms and took her head in my hands to pull her down to my level then kissed her until I heard Diane tell the doctor, "Don't mind my ridiculous children. They don't know what you give to your mother, you get back in spades from your own daughter and then some. God knows I have."

"Yeah, I'm used to the Vauses, I think we all are at this point. Everybody wanted to see Dr. Vause settle down and now that she has, it's a be careful what you wish for situation. Hey, Vause, how about you stop making out with my patient," the doctor hollered in our direction and after one last long kiss Alex finally let go of my lips.

"Hey, she started it," Alex asserted as she rolled her eyes in my direction.

"Uh, did Vause just admit to being topped," my doctor teased, not so much a doctor or even colleague as a friend in that moment.

"Yes, but doctor-patient confidentiality, right," Alex quickly responded, playing along with her friend.

"Uh, your wife is my patient, you are just my patient's partner. So I can send out a mass email to every doctor in the hospital that Dr. Alex Vause is a secret bottom."

"And you know I'm more than that," Alex replied commandingly as she reminded the doctor that she was higher ranking in the Obstetrics department than she was and that she was a high-level director on the board of the hospital.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me and your secret is safe. Let's see if these girls had the good sense to get your good looks, unless you'd rather kiss cause I'm getting reimbursed either way," the doctor teased.

"That sounds like medical negligence to me. Maybe I should file a report," Alex teased as she returned to her seat and helped push down the panel on my jeans before the doctor squeezed the cool gel on my belly, Alex mouthed amateurs as I winced at the sudden chill on my skin so that both me and the doctor could see. The doctor didn't say anything, just rolled her eyes, shook her head and checked the machine.

"You're sure you want her in here for the whole thing," the doctor asked, motioning over to Diane.

"Yeah, I've told her about the potential things she could see. I work here too. I trained in high-risk Obstetrics; I've seen the worst with multiple pregnancy. I know it's not the protocol and I know why but she knows. And c'mon you know how my mom and I are, I tell her everything," she added as she threw her arm around her mom's shoulders.

"Yeah, whether I want to hear it or not. Except for 'hey mom, I froze my eggs' or 'hey mom, you know those grandkids you've been askin' for? Well, they're chillin' in a freezer in Beverly Hills.' That's where my ridiculous biological child draws the line at too much in regards to sexual behavior, whether hers or anyone else's."

"I still can't believe it, nobody around here can. Although when we found out it made sense why Alex was being so secretive and at the doctors or flying to California so much during that two year period. Are you ladies ready to see these babies, because I am," she moved the wand around until she found the placenta, "Water around baby A looks good, I still think there's a film between them. I know there's been some discussion about whether they are in their own sacs or not. I believe they are but we'll be monitoring your fluids and you both know what to look for. I know about the heart monitor you borrowed from Obstetrics, cause Vause is among our celebrity doctors and gets anything she wants. They won't let me take home an Aspirin but you get new medical equipment. Placenta looks good, baby B's cord is a little thinner than I'd like but her size is good so I'm not worried yet. I think I just might recommend weekly ultrasounds earlier than I was planning. Are you feeling them kick regularly?"

"We both are, it's fucking amazing. They notice when I touch Piper's belly, and I can almost make out Baby A's foot sometimes. I'm still crying," Alex interrupted.

"If I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd be surprised but I'm not. You're a big softie. I am so looking forward to being in the room when your wife gives birth to your daughters, I'll treasure those memories for always," she teased and Alex responded in a commanding tone, "treasure the memory is all you're gonna do."

"Stop it, Vause and I might let you help deliver your own kid. So, you know, choose," she teased as Alex glared at her friend turning the brunette's own line against her before returning back to her professional role and pointing out the organs for baby A, pronouncing her definitely a girl and healthy before letting us see her face. It was a near perfect copy of Alex's own. She had her hand by her mouth and was moving and pushing when the doctor turned on the 4-D video. After a few moments the doctor smiled, "As much as I'm sure you're enjoying watching her, I have all the measurements I need for this baby. I really wish you'd at least trust me with their names."

"They don't even trust me. So good luck," Diane declared, "Personally, I think they're bluffing and want people to think they have names for their kids. Botha my girls are too spontaneous and impulsive to name a kid like four months before they're born or a day before the county tells them they have to for the birth certificates. They have middle names but I'm sworn to secrecy and while my daughter doesn't scare me, I want her to trust me enough to come to me with anything so I won't betray her confidence."

"Shut up, mom," Alex yelled across the room as she swatted at the air.

"It's a good thing you two make cute babies or I would beat your ass for telling your mama to shut up, Dr. Alex Pearl Vause. You may be grown and bigger than me but that does not mean I can't put you in your place," Diane commanded as the doctor started looking at Baby B, quickly pronouncing that she was healthy as well. Her face was a little harder to see and she was a bit more petite than her chunkier sister but she looked almost exactly like her. But I guess that was to be expected. Yet still, I could already see the differences between my two identical daughters and now knew exactly what parents of identical multiples meant when people asked them how they told their kids apart. In my eyes, sure the basic structures were the same but I could already tell they were otherwise nothing alike. Their personalities and even some of their features were completely different. I could have laid there for hours, watching my little girls do not very much but one of them was laying on my full bladder and lying on my back was becoming painful so with Alex's help I wiped off the gel and got up. I knew soon enough I would be free to do nothing but stare into their little faces. Alex grabbed my hand and I remembered that unlike with Geo, I would have to share. Lucky for both of us, there were two of them and except for one being completely laid back and the other being a wild fireball, exactly alike.

An hour later, we had our appointment, all was fine except for anemia, which they expected by this point with monochromatic twins. They prescribed supplements and suggested foods I could add to my diet to help with the anemia. They also told me that if it got really bad then I would need regular blood transfusions. Luckily, since Alex was a licensed OB/GYN they would be willing to allow me to do them as an outpatient, if it came to that. They told me to get rest and recommended I start childbirth classes by week twenty-eight if I wanted to take them, which Alex and I still weren't sure was necessary, and have my bags and birth plan ready. My first pregnancy had felt as long as that of an elephant but this one seemed to be going at rabbit speed. I just wanted everything to slow down but I also couldn't wait to officially meet them. To kiss them and hold them close. To figure out if those full heads of hair would be red and eyes the same shade of green as their biological mother's emerald orbs.

Diane could see the tears in my eyes while we waited for Alex to come back from the coffee cart where she was getting us some, "Wipe your eyes, kid. Your babies are growing. That's a good thing. Believe me, you have a long time with them. Our bellies aren't designed to hold 'em forever but our arms are. And you do things right and more than just your arms will hold them until the end of time. So pull yourself together and be glad that the worst part is over half over."

"Yeah, I guess. I kinda liked being selfish. Being the only one who could feel them move. I'm not ready to share them."

"You worried the world won't love them or people will think you are weird cause you didn't make your babies like most people?"

"Kinda to both. Sometimes I worry I won't love them the same as Geo. He's my first and my bio child. How can they ever compete with that?"

"Your kids are gonna be awesome cause they're raised by you and Alex. I know I tell her constantly that she's an idiot but she's not. I love my little girl more than anything. I used to think nobody could love her and see her the way I do but she has friends and she has you. And your girls will find their tribe like my baby found hers. And I have more babies I didn't carry than I did so I know your love just grows and that hole in your heart melts away as the babies you're meant to have find you. I only gave birth once. Sometimes I regret it but I know it wouldn't have been the best thing for Alex and I knew I couldn't have the feelings I did for Alex's daddy for anyone else and I didn't want to make a baby just to get pregnant again. Just because I wanted another baby but not so much another kid. Maybe if Alex had ever expressed any desire for a sibling then I might have made different choices but she was happy with her used books. She didn't ever have the need for friends let alone siblings until she was in her twenties. Thanks for asking me to come today. I know you didn't have to."

"And your daughter didn't have to figure out her crush had a toddler and not just fall anyway but love us both but she did and so here we are. All because you raised an amazing daughter with the most precious heart. Her beauty and intelligence only add to her specialness. And of course, I would have you here. I know it means a lot to you and I spent months wishing my mother would take even passing interest in my first pregnancy. My dad is more interested in my wife and kids than my mom and I knew you wanted to come but would never ask. And I knew Alex wanted you to come, that it was important to her but she also would never ask."

"What are we going to do with her," Diane responded as she held me tighter then whispered, "C'mon let's make Alex buy us an expensive lunch," before smelling that spot only mothers and soulmates knew and kissing my temple and releasing me from her arms.

"I'm craving pork belly. Asian fusion on the Lower East Side?"

"Sounds good to me. C'mon, kid. Let's get you and those babies of ours fed," Diane wrapped her arms around me once more and rubbed my back until she saw Alex coming back. She kissed my forehead before letting me go and then asking Alex to go to one of our favorite restaurants with a wink in my direction as I grasped Alex's hand.


	60. Chapter 60

**A/N: Hope everyone is doing well with all that is going on right now...I know things are worse in other places than where I am, my state is under a shelter in place that too many people aren't taking seriously...luckily we have fanfiction and books to bring us joy and escape in this time and I am working to do my part, as small as it may be. I hope you all enjoy the Vauseman/Nichorello action in this chapter...still figuring out the next chapter I want Cal in there, a moving update/home tour and a babymoon in the mountains I might try to fold it all into one or do a double update...after that will be the baby showers if you guys have any ideas/requests for a Vauseman twins baby shower. Glad to see people are loving the way I'm writing Diane and Piper...one of my goals with this story was to imagine a relationship between them and show the parallel between them (I still think we were robbed of a Piper/Diane scene in OITNB...except for one tiny mention from Alex when Tricia died you didn't hear about the two of them but that scene makes it clear they knew each other well and I loved the actress who played Diane)**

"So remind me again why I'm here," Nicky asked as we walked into our third Upper East Side baby boutique. Lorna and I walked over to a section of newly arrived girl's clothes while I watched Alex go over to the mommy section with its lotions, books, and clothing for nursing moms while Nicky followed begrudgingly.

"You wanted to give me a shower," Alex reminded her friend with a hard shove to her shoulder.

"Well, I didn't want to, I just didn't want my girlfriend to call me a monster. And Jamila made us take a vote at work, I couldn't not vote for it, I'm your business partner and best friend. And I figured it might convince Lorna that kids are only fun when you can give them back. Aunties have it way better than mommies and it's expensive. Besides who wants to have to buy this shit," she asked as she looked at all the tops with easy access for new moms to feed their babies with a shocked expression.

"You can't put a price tag on watching your wife grow your children," Alex responded nonchalantly while she ran her fingers along small tubs of creams and I had to admit it was getting me turned on. It wasn't completely unusual for her mere existence on the same planet as me to give me an orgasm but lately the pull she had over me, that I had to her, was stronger than ever. I exhausted her more times than she would have liked to admit lately but I had an unquenchable need to be fucked senseless lately and a wife I knew always aimed to please the ladies and now that lady was singular only worked harder to please her woman and keep the little ladies she was growing. I tried to hide how wet everything about the way she was merely existing, every tiny imperfection only making her more attractive, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job but Lorna had to repeat her ooing and awing multiple times before I suggested we look at the shoes. Shoes, because I knew that was the only thing I found more attention-grabbing than my wife. But try as I might, I couldn't stop myself from eavesdropping on her conversation on the other end of the store.

"Oh I can and it's too high for both my brain and bank account. I don't know how you two run multiple companies, raise a preschooler, have a healthy and more importantly hot marriage as it is. Have you even changed a diaper," Nicky challenged as she flipped through one of the books and made a sour face when she flipped to a page, which judging from her sour expression had a picture she obviously wasn't ready to see.

"I work with new mothers, of course, I have. And Geo was still in diapers at night when I fell in love with Piper, but don't talk about it. He's embarrassed no matter how many times I tried in every way imaginable as both a psychiatrist and a mother. At first, Piper was even embarrassed to tell me, she thought it meant she was a failure as a mother, I don't think I'll ever convince her she's an amazing mother," Alex replied as she took the book from Nicky then went back to browsing nursing supplies.

"Doesn't mean you're gonna stop trying," Nicky replied as she accepted that Alex expected her to be by her side. She rubbed Alex's shoulders reassuringly, more like a sister than a lover, which made me wonder if she knew I was spying on her. Who was I trying to kid, she always knew when I was trying to get the real story by listening in on Alex and Nicky's playful banter and friendly chats.

"Never. I chose her because I saw how she lit up when Geo entered the room. Before I always thought if I dated a woman with a kid I'd feel jealous but I never felt the slightest tingle of jealousy," Alex saw Nicky glare at her, a silent signal between the two best friends to 'stop bullshitting' the other, "Have you seen my wife? Of course, I get jealous for a million other reasons. She could have any boy or girl she wanted and she chose me. It's mind-boggling."

"I get it, Vause," Nicky responded confidently, "What I don't get is why you need all this shit? What's the difference between one cream and another," Nicky asked as her eyes scanned the five different types of cream on the shelf.

"Babies need a lot of things and I spent years working my ass off so when I was ready I could give my daughter the world," Alex answered as she scanned the store for me and I poked my head out of her blind spot and smiled from across the store with a red leather pair of baby shoes in my hands.

"Yes babies need couture and expensive European shit cause they really care how soft the fabric is when they shit and puke on it," Nicky cackled as she looked over at the mostly pastel-colored baby clothes on me and Lorna's side of the store.

"I. Can. Afford. It. I can also afford to replace anything I need to for any reason. I'm not saying my kids are too good for Graco and Gerber-"

"Sure, Vause. Just promise me you are at least going to raise your kids and not give them too much too soon. My mother fucked up royally and I don't want to see the things that happened to me and my other Manhattan trust fund baby friends. And we both know Piper isn't exactly a shining counterexample or you and I would be shooting bourbon and checking out chicks in between talking just enough work to write it off later," Nicky said in that pained tone she got on the rare occasion that she seriously discussed anything, especially her shitty childhood and fucked up adolescence before of course turning the theatrics to high gear with memories of the legendary high jinks of Alex Vause and Nicky Nichols around New York and Cape Cod.

Alex chuckled, "Those were some good times. But my life is trying to figure out how I became the mother who dresses her son like he's going to his Wall Street job and bathed her daughters in pink despite her wife's complaints."

"How many pink and floral prints does a kid need?"

"Don't forget cheetah print."

"Vause, you are one trashy bitch sometimes," Nicky teased as they both laughed louder than they should in such a classy store.

"I can't take you anywhere, Nicks," Alex replied with a shove once their laughter died down.

"Does that mean I can go home and watch TV with my dog and get caught up on my charting," Nicky pleaded sarcastically and also as a way to let Alex know exactly how much she would rather do _anything_ else than spend her Saturday doing this. Because if there's one thing everybody at Artemis knew it was that Dr. Nichols hated doing her charts. Which ended up serving me well because nobody batted an eye when mine never even existed. If Nicky had been better at keeping charts updated, much less making one then there would have been immediate suspicion when even a rejected patient never had a chart at the clinic. Her free-spirited, anti-establishment way of providing therapy had bought Alex and me time before we were ready to go public about our relationship. And I sure was grateful for her character defects.

"Nope. It means you will behave," she commanded as Nicky picked up a breast pump and held it to her chest.

"I could not imagine using one of these," Nicky declared a little too boisterously. Alex looked at me and then shrugged, hoping Nicky didn't notice and ask questions she wasn't ready to answer and I had convinced her she didn't have to.

"Put that down and stop it before you get us kicked out of this store. I know it's your MO and all and it's mine to prevent it but our better halves don't need to know that," Alex commanded as she grabbed the hand pump out of Nicky's hand and placed it back on the shelf like she was a toddler who had grabbed a dangerous item off the shelf.

"Look at those two going all crazy over hair bows and patent leather shoes they'll maybe wear once for all of a minute. If that since they are your girls," Nicky declared as she changed the subject.

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Oh, you know very well, Vause. But I thought you didn't want to get us thrown out of here," Nicky replied asking Alex grabbed two jars of our favorite nipple cream.

"How does one woman need as much of that stuff as Piper seems to?"

"Cause Piper isn't the only one using it," Alex stated with every bit of her trademark cool demeanor as if she was completely unfazed by who she was, what she said and you should be too.

"Every time I think you two can't sink to another level of weird, you guys find a way," Nicky said as she shook her head in disgust. I decided to walk over there, mostly because I wanted to punch Nicky in the mouth but also because I missed those hands touching me with every fiber of my being and it had only been maybe ten minutes since we last touched yet already felt like ten million years. But Nicky was smart enough to go searching for where Lorna had run off to in the store.

"Speaking of my beautiful wife," Alex cooed as she pulled me in as close as she could with my bump in between us and kissed me with sweet passion, "you see anything you like," Alex asked as I peered down at her chest and she walked me over behind a display without losing her grip on my back then squeezing my ass before giving it three small, silent slaps. I bit my lip as she glared at me coolly and shook her head as I grabbed a handful of her ass and dared her with my eyes to do anything about it. What could she do? She mouthed the word later but right now I could postpone later until at least August if I really wanted to. Or if these girls came out with the right eye/hair color combo then quite likely forever. "So other than another perfectly innocent mother shopping for baby stuff, see anything you want to take home?"

"Too much," I replied with soft doe eyes that I knew was the greatest weapon in my arsenal to getting anything I wanted, whenever I wanted it.

"Never babe. I don't want to," she paused to kiss me while my eyes searched for Nicky and Lorna, "hey, eyes over here woman. One second all you can see are my tits in your overactive imagination and the next you are wandering and trying to make sure there isn't anything more enticing to look at," Alex commanded as she grabbed my chin hard in her hand and squeezed my cheeks with her thumb and pinkie, I knew she would probably leave a mark but I didn't let that influence my behavior. I knew I had her where I wanted so I decided to play with her a little before I let her consume me. Of course, by then she would be convinced it had all been her idea.

"I was just making sure those two aren't making trouble," I said innocently.

"Yeah, they don't belong in a store like this. You think Lorna will ever figure it out," Alex asked in a tone that made it clear to me that if she was on to my game then she wasn't about to give me a clue.

"I don't know. I always knew she was a lot like me. She did what she was expected to do and never let herself color too far outside of the lines. Then she watched me fall for a woman and she followed me when I left Popi and she met Nicky then caught feelings. You know they haven't been past second base."

"Oh, I know. Nicky would like to convince me otherwise but I wouldn't be the expert in my field that I am if I actually fucking believed her."

"You think those two will ever get this," I ran my finger over the button on her pants before running my fingers along her waistband and finding her belt loop as I used what little bit of grace I had left to loop my leg between hers. Maybe I should call my mom and let her know she had once again won, those six months of ballet when I was three that she insisted on when she figured out everybody else's daughter had been doing dance for over a year finally came in handy."

"Sure, Pipes, if you want to explain exactly how. And then listen to your mother tell you all the reasons a woman in your condition shouldn't be having sex or even thinking about it. That all your attention should be to your rapidly expanding midsection," she paused and ran her hands along my back to my sides and caressed my belly, "and preparing your body for their imminent arrival," she added while she bent her head down and quickly kissed my chest.

"Keep it up, Vause and explaining our present sex life to Carol Chapman will be the least of our worries."

"Somebody horny?"

"Yeah, as if you giving me permission to do whatever, whenever with your body wasn't enough now I have these hormones surging through me. I don't know if it's because they're girls or I'm actually in love with the person I'm making them with but damn I just have this insatiable need for it all the time. I was never very, you know, but lately I can't keep my hands off you," I whispered seductively as I sporadically let my lips barely graze her ear and fingers gently touch her neck, periodically scratching lightly.

"I can't keep mine off you. Let's finish our excursion, get our registry finalized so our friends can buy stuff for the baby showers they swear they aren't throwing," Alex told me as she put her glasses in the purse on her shoulder and verbally tried to maintain her composure and control while her body language was saying something completely different. But of course, that was the point. The Alex Vause that took my name and wore my ring was subtle in the art of wooing a woman and private about her sexual advances.

"There's no surprising you is there," I teased as I pressed my lips to hers just until she tried to kiss me back then pulled away, a move I would never do at home but I knew she could do nothing about in public. I was challenging her and judging from the way she shook her head she knew it and it was getting her turned on.

"I don't know, falling for you like I did was pretty damn surprising," Alex ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me until I returned her kiss and moaned into her mouth, "easy, tiger. I don't want to add breastfeeding section of a ritzy baby boutique to the list of interesting places I've fucked a hot chick."

"You never fuck me anywhere exciting," I argued as I tried to get that last remaining hesitant part of her to give in to my advances.

"Oh, really, I don't? Should I name a few? Cause I love it when I bring out your proper blonde lady side. I greatly enjoy making your face all flushed and don't really care how it happens. Although you aren't a very proper blonde WASP with your brown roots showing and making out with a dyke in a store that caters to the breeder crowd but is smart enough to give me a chance to prove I'm the wealthiest person in this store and my money isn't contingent on my marital status. Neither is yours. You belong in a store like this, even more than I do. If we get kicked out of anywhere I want it to be 'cause I got caught doing sloppy work," she thrust her finger into my leggings and past my underwear and massaged my clit as I did everything I could to not come on the spot, especially when she upped the ante and nibbled my earlobe, "you like that, you naughty little girl? Is that what you've been trying to make me do for the last fifteen minutes. Being bad makes you so wet in all the right places. And you are so bad. Always willing to spread your legs for a hot set of tits. Guess I need to put my woman in her place cause evidently putting a baby in her belly wasn't enough to make her a good little submissive wife," Alex teased as I slapped her as hard enough to make my point but not enough that anyone else would hear and grabbed her lower lip in my teeth.

"You complaining," I teased as I let my fingers barely grace the curve of her breast and she parted my lips with one finger while her thumb pressed hard on my clit, "I guess that's your way of saying, no."

"No, my love, it's my way of saying you already fucking know and you are a ridiculous human for asking the question or ever thinking I'd complain about your all-consuming craving for my sweet golden pussy and perfect tits."

"I don't know if I'd call them perfect," I teased as she pushed one finger inside me roughly without warning and it took everything I had not to scream at the top of my overly constricted lungs. For a moment I couldn't breathe but I was in Alex's arms so I knew I was safe. I gave her an open mouth kiss and let it fill my lungs and move through my body. Once I regained my composure I asserted, "when will you ever learn, sticking anything inside my vagina will never get me to change my undesirable behavior?"

"Yes, but reminding you I'm the only one who can fuck you like your kinky well-bred high-society self likes will. And you're welcome to go do some research but it'll be kind of hard in your current condition," she teased as she slid another finger down and pushed it inside me.

"What I'm still hot," I teased as I unbuttoned her pants and cupped her sex as best I could through her boxer briefs, "By the way, Vause, for the foreseeable future it's thongs only for you," I commanded as I cupped her harder, digging my nails into her mound until she mouthed 'yes, babe' with a look that peered into the depths of my soul and made my body shudder as I broke out into a cool sweat.

"You are but nobody will fully appreciate it like I will. And nobody else could deal with the unholy preggo gas. And the toddler who just arrived at the lovely stage of boyhood where farts are the funniest thing imaginable," Alex said, almost as if she were challenging me to make her unable to talk by making mommy small talk and since I could already feel the beginnings of a wet spot on her underwear, I gave in and moved my hand back up to the black band on her hips and thrust three fingers inside her underwear, feeling the softness and sweat of her aroused skin and watching her expression as I entered her.

"Well look at the two lovebirds giving us all a show of how lesbians make a baby," Nicky bellowed out of nowhere. Where had she come from? Had I really let myself get that distracted? Normally I was more vigilant in public, especially when I initiated the encounter.

"I'm not a lesbian, Nicky," I replied as I quickly pulled my fingers out of my wife's pants and I heard her make a noise that sounded like a deflated balloon.

"Now, say that again without looking at my best friend's tits and without her cum glistening on your fingers," Nicky taunted.

"What they're nice, I mean for a set of tits," I replied as I licked my fingers, not caring that I was making her point by doing this very action. My wife was tasty, delectable even, that wasn't my fault either, "If you're into that sort of thing. Which, of course, if I were I wouldn't be in my present condition. Cause you don't make babies by playing with titties and eating pussy. And I strongly prefer women, that doesn't make me a lesbian."

"Uh-huh, babe. Is that really the battlefield you wanna die on," Alex teased as she and Nicky rolled their eyes at each other. They didn't even need to remind me of the so-called definition of a lesbian and how well I fit it. Or that I seemed to only argue about using the l-word to describe myself when I was called it by the queer women who knew me best. I knew who I loved, the person I love knew and I had no qualms about revealing the gender of my beloved Alex if somebody asked the right question. I felt Alex palm my breast through my shirt and I glared at her before she asked in a tone she saved for when she was truly pissed yet also losing control, "Need I remind you who got you knocked up and how? Cause last I checked, that's a piece of me in your belly. And I don't think we need to discuss the things you do to my hot rack. You just can't get enough of them. Shall I remind you how many times you've said how perfect they are in their natural state and how many mornings you've woken up and told me you can't believe you get to touch them whenever you want through that adorable half-conscious state of yours when you are just waking up and trying to speak through your cotton mouth."

"You and attaching your entire self worth to others' opinions on your tits. Oh, the things I could tell the APA and NYU about why you should lose your status within the medical community," I teased as I ignored her attempt at romance.

"Not others per se, well not anymore. Just yours," Alex fired back with that air of vulnerability that only she could mix with badass confidence.

"Hey focus, you two. Fight it out later cause I don't remember buying a front row seat to the latest in ridiculous X-Rated arguments between the Vauses. Can't those little bastards like hear and shit now? Poor squirts are gonna come out saying tit and cock with you as their mothers."

"Oh their first word will be mama," Alex bellowed as she ran her hand along my bump and pushed her fingertips under my shirt as if she was trying to get as close to her daughters as possible given her current limitations.

"Not if they keep hearing you two talking about your cock and seeing you wear men's clothes, then it'll be dada," Nicky fired back at Alex with a chuckle.

"I'll take it," Alex answered with a slight shrug and pursed lips, making it clear that only one woman could ever have the privilege of saying they could outplay Alex Vause, much less live to tell the tale.

"Such a narcissistic slut," Nicky replied as she grabbed Lorna's arm and kept her from straying to the books that had recently traumatized her.

"Aw, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

"Really, in all the seven years we've known each other?"

"Just about," she responded as she let me go with one last rub to my back before grabbing me and pulling me into her side before I could stray very far from her body, "You two enjoying yourselves. Haven't heard much from you today, Lorna."

"I'm just a little overwhelmed by everything and the price tags on some of this stuff. My siblings and I barely make as much in a year as some of the stuff in this store costs. It's just another thing convincing me don't think I want my own. I love my nieces and nephews and of course Geo but I see what mothers go through and even if all they need is diapers, a few outfits and a couple bottles I still don't think I could do it 24/7 and I see what my sisters and Piper have gone through during pregnancy and no thanks. Kids get into everything. I like being able to leave my makeup out and not having it turn into a toddler's art project. Kids are destructive. Besides all my sisters and aunties have gotten super depressed after they had their babies and did some weird shit. What's that thing you told me about again, Alex?"

"Postpartum Psychosis, a more extreme version of Postpartum Depression. I've seen a lot of it and been an expert witness at some horrific trials cause of it. Right now, I'm not permitted to see the most severe patients, as is the policy for expectant mothers in my department. We can't see them for the two months before and three months after pregnancy and it was my idea to treat non-biological queer mothers like any other pregnant mom. Yeah, I'm starting to regret pushing through that policy. But I also know that my mind is no different from that of a pregnant woman and my body is starting to feel it too. Sympathetic pregnancy is a real thing and it sucks," she told Lorna as she leaned her head on my shoulder and I smelled her hair before kissing her wisp of baby hair by her ear.

"What you finally decide you enjoy seeing patients," Nicky interrupted.

"I enjoy some of them, the exciting ones anyway. But I'm talking to your girlfriend. Hush and maybe I'll let you choose where we go for lunch."

"Yes, Boss."

"So Lorna. Continue. I'm sorry I didn't get this one fully housetrained before I introduced you two and encouraged this idiot to pursue the pretty, young babysitter."

"I'm beginning to realize that the Morello genes and name are safe for another generation no matter what I do or don't do. If I were in your situation where I was the only child and there was nobody else to carry my family name as far as I knew then I might think differently but I'm happy with Rootbeer and being an auntie. If things keep going the way they have been with Nicky I might consider getting her a little puppy brother but I don't feel the need to have a tiny human and it's not like we can make one by accident."

Alex looked around and noticed Nicky was again distracted by nursing stuff as if she had just arrived from an alien planet completely devoid of lactating mothers, "Or not by accident. You know if you are struggling to adjust to being with a woman or nervous about the logical next step you can talk to me."

"Would it be legal?"

"I can't give you official medical advice, give you a diagnosis or prescribe you anything unless it was a life-threatening medical emergency but we can always talk. If I can help you with anything I will. You are important to the two women I love most so you are important to me, kid."

"But aren't you busy with the move in two weeks and the girls coming in a few months?"

"You are on the short-list of people I could never be too busy for. Nicky, you, Diane, Cal and I think that's about it," Alex rattled off the list of the names of the few people she actually loved as she smiled with a mischievous wink at me before pressing her warm, wet red lips to my cheek just long enough to leave a light mark.

"Hey," I cried out as I returned her expression and gave her a kiss that left sticky glittery pink lip gloss on her cheek.

"Of course, you Pipes. Always and above everyone and everything else. I'm a steaming pile of dog shit without you," she reached her arm around my back and rubbed my belly until I felt Baby B stir at her Momma's touch on her foot while she kissed the spot behind my ear and I gushed like a schoolgirl with her first crush while Lorna sighed at the display of sweet romance before we returned to our task now that everything was once again settled for the four of us. We were all falling into our places, both as couples and individuals and it was beautiful.


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Thanks for all the love on my last chapter...this one has a lot of fun and also leaves a lot to the imagination...hope you all like this one...we get to see some Cal and of course a lot of NSFW Vauseman because that's the point of living, right? lol**

I was still half asleep in the den of our new home that we had been in for just over a week now when the doorbell rang. Cal was late as always. Alex and I had a shared pet peeve when it came to punctuality and all our staff knew it. We didn't care what the excuse was, we figured if we could commute twenty-five miles from the Long Island suburbs to the Village with a toddler then they had no excuse. If you weren't five minutes early, you were late and if you were six then you were worse than late. The only exceptions were Nicky and Cal, when it came to them we accepted that particular quirk and didn't even tell them an earlier time then what we meant. Mostly because they would usually still be late anyway so it wasn't worth the effort. I decided to give it a moment and let Alex get the door. I heard Alex's feet on the stairs followed closely by a tiny set and giggles followed by loud thumps every time her feet stopped. He loved having steps he could play on more than anything else about our new home, even the two story loft-style fort in the back corner of the play room he had been so excited for when we were renovating the house.

"Let's go say hi to Uncle Cal," even though I couldn't see her, I knew by my wife's tone and the way her steps suddenly slowed that she had lifted him onto her hip.

"Can I get the door," Geo asked with a squeal of childish delight.

"You know Mommy doesn't want you figuring out the front door," Alex responded and I could see her pull on his shirt just below his ribs because that's what she always did when she gave him a playful warning.

"But you're not Mommy. You're Momma," he challenged.

"Yes, but you see I have to deal with Mommy when she's moody and when she's grumpy it makes me sad."

"Cause you love her."

"That's right, bud. I love your mother bigger than the universe," I could imagine her smoothing her fingers through his curls and leaving a red lipstick stain on his forehead and when I heard their giggles I knew she had done just that and they were now embroiled in a nose kiss fight.

"What about me," I eventually heard Geo cry.

"I love you beyond comprehension," a big word most preschoolers wouldn't know but the curious, intelligent boy who worshipped the ground his Momma Alex walked on without her ever asking, let alone demanding, did. I didn't hear anything but careful bare feet on the white and black marble tiled grand entry way with its silver and black chandelier and windowed cathedral ceilings, I still couldn't believe it was not only in my house but one of my favorite features of the house, that and the view of the grounds and across the Sound from the customized 1000 square foot master suite. The next thing I heard was Alex open the door and Cal's hearty chuckle as I'm sure he used the lack of my presence to check my wife out. No matter how many times I admonished him and he acknowledged that she was his sister, he still couldn't resist checking her out.

"Hey, bro. Just what do you think you're doing? Something you would like to mention in front of your nephew?"

"Uhm, uh, uhm no, Alex. Nothing. It's just some things are hard not to notice, especially when they look like that," he declared softly but louder than our son should have been around to witness.

And it was true her breasts had been popping out of her shirts a little more lately, especially now that the weather was warmer and as she said when nobody else was around, "the girls could breathe." And now that my body was preparing for the Herculean task of breastfeeding twins, I knew exactly what she meant. Everything was sore and there was always somebody pressing on my bladder and someone else using my kidney as her consolation prize.

But it was still amazing every time I felt them both and realized, 'shit, I'm making two beings who used to be one not that long ago.' I could have my hand on my belly feeling one dance while Alex had hers on the other side feeling the same thing from the other baby, it's the most magical thing I've ever experienced and probably always will just purely because of the layers of improbabilities and technological advancements that came together perfectly to create that moment.

"So did you have any trouble finding the place," Alex asked Cal and judging from her tone she shifted Geo's weight on her hip midway through.

"Not exactly. I just couldn't believe my GPS was saying what it was when I started to see some of these houses," Cal answered with a gasp of pure shock and awe.

"Well, where else do you expect a queen to live with her princess," Alex asked.

"And her prince! Don' forgit me," Geo exuberantly declared.

"Never baby boy. Never," I could tell by the way he giggled that Alex had kissed him after she said that. Well, that and I had observed that moment and knew if Alex wasn't on a conference call or in a meeting, Geo could never truly interrupt her. Even then, she typically didn't get angry or punish him for wanting her attention. I got in more trouble for interrupting her than our son ever did. At first, I hated it but now I was glad that she seemed to love my son more than she did me. It was the complete opposite of what you imagine when you meet the potentially perfect significant other and have to tell them you have a kid in diapers. I knew one day Geo would realize she didn't have to be the loving, attentive mother she is and I hoped he would be full of love and gratitude towards this amazing woman. My friend at Vanderbilt had developed an appreciation for country music and shortly after I told her Alex and I had gotten married and I was pregnant with her daughters had sent me a song called "He Didn't Have to Be." I bawled and then played it for Alex and we both cried, which was extremely rare for her. Of course she blamed it on her hormones being crazy from my pregnancy, I just chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Speaking of your princess, where is she," Cal asked.

"Tired of looking at me already," she deadpanned as she turned her attention back to Cal.

"No, never. Just I haven't seen my sister since she became your wife. I used to see her at least twice a month. Now she never comes to family dinner and she skipped Easter."

"It's not really a thing in our house. It was never a thing in my house growing up. Even if my mom could afford eggs, she certainly couldn't afford to waste a single one by boiling it and coloring it pink or whatever. She would usually bring home extra candy on a Monday in early Spring without any explanation but that was it. Besides, we aren't Christians. When you die, you're just gone and it's forever. We only celebrate Christmas because we like the spirit of the season. And it's harder for her to move around these days."

"Doesn't explain why she's been to Northampton twice in the last almost three months and barely been to Connecticut in the past year."

"Uhm, compare Carol and Diane. She has friends there. And we run a company in the city. What does she have in Connecticut other than her parents? We talk to Celeste all the time and have lunch in Manhattan once a month. Who would you rather spend your limited free time with?"

"Yeah. You have a point, I guess. I just miss her."

"Hey, you are always welcome here and you know that. And if you can't afford the trip then I'll send you money. Just none of your magical herb in front of my kids. I know I've done worse but that's the past. I've been clean for almost seven years."

"Wow. I can't imagine. So Piper?"

"Hiding from the evil queen's latest dictate throughout the queendom. Those who cannot carry boxes can still unpack them. The princess disagrees. Luckily she has such a cute face so I don't say off with her head."

"Yeah, you probably just sit on it."

"Callum Michael Chapman! The K-I-D is H-E-R-E and does not need to K-N-O-W about his mommies alone time. As far as he knows, we eat popcorn, catch up on our shows and maybe cuddle when we tell him it's grown up time."

"But you do, don't you?"

"Act like your average teenage girl at a slumber party or the other thing? Kid, ask yourself if you really want to know. I already see that image and call it a memory. And I have enough trouble sitting across the table from her at dinner. Maybe later I'll finally tell you how to connect my personal laptop to the projector in the home theater and where I hide my good stuff."

"You have a theater? Is there anything this house doesn't have?"

"It has both an indoor and an outdoor swimming pool and a three-bedroom guest house plus a studio we have no use for, so, no."

"Why do you need all this stuff?"

"Cause I can have it. I worked hard and did some things I'm not proud of and even more that I am to get to this point in my life where I can have a castle. Besides, a member of the medical and financial communities of my stature has certain expectations to show their wealth and inspire awe."

"Sometimes I wonder how my sister ended up with someone with your mindset when it comes to money."

"She didn't know and by the time she did, she loved me for me. And not my bank account. And it's so damn refreshing, it makes me want to spoil her that much more. Then at the same time she reminds me that all the fancy and flashy things I have or can do don't matter at the end of the day. A custom-made California King was never meant for one. She gives me everything money can't buy."

"Good answer, sis. You want me to take Geo? He must be getting heavy."

"This little ball of sweetness? Never. I never understood how or why a mother would carry a child perfectly capable of walking on his own. Then a kid who reminded me of everything I was falling in love with when it came to his mother asked me to pick him up. Piper told him to stop and to be a big boy, but it just felt so wrong. I could feel my heart being ripped apart and the talons of whatever beast was torturing me slowly reach my soul. I told her it was okay and if he wanted me to carry him I would. She told me that if I gave him the idea then he could convince me to pick him up on command he'd never stop. As if I didn't already know. I just didn't care. And now it feels so natural. I've completely adapted to carrying him on my hip to the point there's nothing I can't do with one hand whenever he asks to be picked up or cuddled. Lately, he's started saying he wants to write an article too and he just created his first PowerPoint presentation. It was on robot dinosaurs. He researched it and found pictures and everything. It's really pretty cute. I'll have him give you his presentation later. He wanted to do a lecture like Momma and I couldn't say no to those dimples. I thought his mother had some serious dimples but his have really come in over the last year and I'm a goner. He's a little genius just like his Momma," she stated and I couldn't tell which of my favorite guys she was addressing as I heard Cal's feet on the tile and the door close softly. I knew that was Alex. Because even after nearly twenty-three years, Cal still didn't care about waking me up from a deep, satisfying sleep.

Moments later, I heard their footsteps in the room, "And this is the den," I saw her smile when my head popped up from the couch, "And this little messy-haired sleepyhead is the angelic princess of the manor."

"I don't know. If she were the angel of this house, she'd be doing the tour with her son in her arms not you," Cal huffed with a tinge of sarcasm.

"We have different skills," Alex replied without even a moment of hesitation as she winked and smiled warmly at me.

"She doesn't cook, neither of you cleans, you handle the finances and you spend more time with the kid then she does. So what does she do," Cal asked as if I weren't right in front of him.

"Well, right now she's busy making two strong little ladies, so there's that. She reminds me of beauty and to not be so serious all the time. That life is not just about this chaotic blur of work and sex to the point they become one in the same, and neither are enjoyable. And she's excellent company, well once she figured out that I liked having her in my orbit when I'm doing solitary activities. Piper had to learn to appreciate the silences between lovers. And she's not the only one. I always wanted a lover who didn't always have to fill every space with noise. But I didn't know how to teach that though nor did I ever find someone who made it worth trying."

"Yeah, Piper likes to be alone when she's alone. Like when she used to take off and spend all morning running through the forest. Who goes on a five-hour run on a Saturday morning by choice? I barely comprehend running for five minutes let alone five hours."

"She went running with other girls," Alex chuckled as she licked her lips and I was certain she was imagining all the stories I told her when I finally told her exactly how I learned to kiss a chick like I did at the restaurant the night we met in person for the first time after she figured out running her tongue along my neck while massaging my breasts and making me ride her leg made for an extremely compliant Piper Chapman who would give up the keys to Fort Knox if you asked her to.

"She wasn't really with them," Cal argued, somehow he had grown up with me but couldn't figure out how teenage Piper snuck around with chicks and found herself making out with Danny's girlfriend in my bed when she snuck in through the wrong window. If he ever decides to talk to the Chapmans again, I'll be sure to tell him that little nugget and how many girls kissed me after kissing him and said I was way better at it. Well, after I rub it in his face that I'm married to a Harvard educated doctor/professor/board member at NYU.

"Oh, she was. And there's a reason those runs took all morning long," Alex responded as she set Geo down and sneakily rubbed up my arm and around to my breast, which she then massaged gently.

"No, she wasn't," Cal exclaimed in complete shock as he figured it out.

"Piper, babe, would you like to tell him or should I," she asked as she ran her thumb over my nipple.

Alex let my breast go and helped me scoot up a little before I sighed, "I'll tell him. I was making out with girls deep in the woods where nobody would find us. And nobody ever used the word practicing unless it was in reference to our run and crushing our rivals at the next meet. We knew what we were doing. Some girls even put on quite the show."

"You mean," Cal asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"If you saw that then why were you raiding the box under my bed, cause if I could have seen that show regularly I wouldn't have needed the box."

"Oh, I needed it because I was left wanting still."

"I used to want to come to blows with people who called my sister a dyke, now I'm not so sure they were wrong. I guess pretty, well-raised blonde girls with a strong paternal role model can be gay," Cal responded as my revelation about my adolescent extracurricular activities and how it affected his own younger years settled in his mind.

"Hey, if that's what it takes to come to that realization then I'll take it. We aren't mannish swamp monsters who burn every symbol of the patriarchy they can and practice witchcraft," I responded as I played with her fingers in mine.

"We aren't," Alex asked me playfully as she rubbed my palm.

"Okay, we also do other things. We're normal. We take our kids to sports, haggle over vegetables and spend the better part of our days keeping them entertained and from killing themselves. Or we choose not to have any and find other things that give our lives meaning. Either way, at the end of the day we find ourselves cuddling against a landscape that manages to be both familiar and not all at once."

"Yeah, you're definitely the worst kind of Smith educated lesbian," Cal chuckled sarcastically.

"Well, at least I didn't use a penny of my college fund on tuition and books, so Bill and Carol didn't pay for me to become a queer feminist. As if I wasn't one before I got there. I've never met a chick who left the school as one who didn't come in as one. Case in point, Polly," I added with a groan that made Alex rub my wrist soothingly.

"She still MIA? Do you ever hear about her? You must still know some of the same people," Cal asked, sounding more like our parents then probably even he knew.

"No, we don't. We live in two different worlds. As New Yorkers, as Smith alumni. Our worlds are parallel adjacent, they never meet," I answered while Alex looked on with a mix of concern and comfort that only she could muster.

"You miss her," Cal asked as if any answer other than yes would be unacceptable.

"Not as much as I thought I would when I broke away from her. Some minds just will never be changed and I don't have the energy to try. Some people do but I have a career I'm passionate about, a wife and I'm going to instantly go from having one kid to three. I don't have time. I just want to live my life, love who I love and raise my kids to be good humans."

"So when you two go out in town are you like the weird heathen lesbos? Do people wonder how two women can afford a five-acre fortress without a man's help? Or why they'd want to, cause from what I saw this is where the obscenely wealthy Manhattan titans go to breed. It's either here or Greenwich," Cal asked and not in a teasing little brother way. He was lucky Alex was petting my fist or it would have connected with his face in that moment.

"Some have figured out that we're a family. We don't broadcast it but when a kid is hollering 'Mommy! Momma Alex! Mommies,' they do the coming out for you. And that's what a lot of the moms we've met have told us. Kids don't know not to out you, outing isn't a concept they understand nor should they. It's normal, adults are the ones who make it abnormal. They are the ones teaching their kids otherwise. We just go to the store and the park and raise our child to be kind and loving. That to ask for acceptance he must accept others. We just moved in and he hasn't started school yet so the neighbors haven't become overly interested in what goes on behind closed doors just yet," Alex volunteered when she saw just how emotional the turn my conversation with Cal had taken was making me.

"Makes sense. I hope when I have a child she'll be able to look to her aunties and want to be just like you two. Except for your need to own multiple homes and have more money than you could spend in a lifetime and still choose to hoard more," he added with a sigh as the brother I considered one of my closest confidants and wingman in our crazy ideas from the time my parents told a six year old me, "meet your new baby brother. Be gentle, Piper," returned.

"We donate five percent of our assets every year," Alex and I both added simultaneously but in perfect time with each other.

"That sets you back, what, three million? How ever do you survive on what, fifty million dollars? You're wealthier than Grandma even. Then any other Chapman has ever been. I thought you and I were going to dismantle the patriarchal system of wealth. The incessant need to build wealth and power to make yourself feel important that brought the Chapmans to this country after an opulent journey when they traded one island for another in the first place was supposed to end with us."

"I still am. But I don't think it's so bad if another system rises in its place. I say let the women run the economy and the world as a whole for a while. Give us a chance to do it better than the boys like we do with everything else we try," I argued.

"Okay, sis. I should know by now there's no use arguing with you once you have your mind made up. And it's obvious you are in love with someone who loves you the way you deserve. Even if that person is nothing like what I imagined your life partner would be."

"Yeah, I have curves and boobs," Alex chuckled in a barely audible tone as she looked at Geo trying to get his uncle's attention.

"You do, I wasn't aware," Cal responded with a playful gasp as Alex and I both rolled our eyes.

"So, what has Alex showed you so far?"

"Not much. Showed me the library first," he answered with a certain disgust, as if he were a teenager who didn't understand why anyone would choose to read.

"It's her favorite room," I replied as Alex shot me a commanding glare, "well, after the one room that will not be on the tour," I teased as I wiggled my fingers from her death grip and found the underside of her breast after a stop along her curves where I dug my nails into the spaces between her ribs. Normally, I didn't dare pull such a trick in front of anyone but she couldn't punish me in front of Call and Geo. Could she, I wondered as I looked at her poker face until the tremble of her lip and sucking in of her breath gave away her arousal.

"Then she pointed out the office, extra bedroom and full bath and mentioned that the kitchen/breakfast nook and Piper's sunroom were on the other side along with a powder room off the mud/laundry room. And then she paused the tour cause she 'wanted her Piper,'" he added with more disgust, "on our way she pointed out an empty room that she said was the dining room. Guess it's not a priority. What would Carol think," Cal teased.

"Well, then why hasn't she kissed me yet," I asked as I pouted my lips and softened my eyes then when she still didn't respond adequately I nibbled my lip like I wanted to do to hers. I wanted that tongue in my mouth. No, I needed it but if she wanted to bluff me then I would bluff her back.

"You were having some brother-sister time, I didn't want to interrupt," Alex teased as she took my face in her hands then bent down and kissed me until I kissed her back and we vaguely heard Cal tell Geo, "Why don't you show me where the food is. We'll find the least healthy snack in this house!" Geo, of course, responded with great glee as he pointed out the 'Gray Room' (Better known as the great room with its wall of windows, grand fireplace, built in shelving and sliding glass door leading out to the deck, the backyard was one of the multitude of areas that were still a work in progress.

The yard had a pool and acres of green grass with a pool house where the indoor Infinity pool and three-quarter bath were on one side and the two-bedroom, one bath guest house with its own full kitchen and combined living/dining room. Oh, and it had a small powder room off the entryway. We had plans to put in a playground complete with playhouse and sandbox and a garden with a chicken coop. We also had a tennis court that we planned to add a track and basketball hoop to and make useable for volleyball because I had hopes that one of our daughters would inherit the right combination of height and athleticism to play the sport.

But I wasn't thinking of any of those things right now.

All I could think about was the woman pressing my back into the couch and working her leg between mine without breaking our kiss. She worked her hand into my shorts when she felt me starting to moan with pleasure, noises she captured with her mouth so she could keep them for herself. After all, she deserved them for what she was doing to me. She knew the perfect moment to stop before things grew too heated but to not leave me longing too much. I knew by the way she tucked a kiss and lock of hair behind my ear that she was saving me for dessert later.

"So should we show him the basement or upstairs next?"

"How can you go from doing what you just did to talking about the minutiae of our married lives?"

"Cause I'm just that damn good," Alex replied as she grabbed my puffy lower lip in her teeth and massaged my breast in gentle circles in between flicking my sore nipples. Damn, it hurt so good. I could lay there and let her do that all day long but we had a son and a guest in our home, so I savored it for as long as possible[LC1] .

"I think we should show him the bedrooms first. Then if we want to hang out in the rec room for a bit we can."

"You wanna prove to your brother that a woman heavily pregnant with twins can still play a decent game of pool?"

"Yup, pretty much. Now get off me you fool before the guys catch us."

"As if both of them haven't caught us in this position more than once?"

"Doesn't mean it needs to happen again. I already have your little she-devils squishing my internal organs, I don't need the mother of the demons to do it too."

"Okay but later, you are mine."

"What if I have to pee? Cause, Vause, I really don't think you are into that kind of play and if you are I want an annulment cause you gotta disclose that shit before you get a chick to agree to sleep with only you for the rest of your life."

"Uh, no. Anything involving sex and showers is not my thing. I'm into some crazy shit but that's where I draw the line. It's beyond degrading."

"I figured but just gotta make sure," Alex got up and then helped me to my feet before we found Cal and Geo having a snack at the kitchen island. Cal had found a beer and Geo had a kid sized bottle of strawberry flavored water. I quickly swiped a snack and Alex grabbed herself a glass of water before we headed upstairs after I tousled Geo's hair and then Cal's cause he teasingly cried, "what about me, sissy?"

"Can we show Uncie my room first, mommies? Pwese, pweeesssee, pretty please?"

"Of course, bud," Alex answered as she nervously watched him hop over the last step.

Geo led Cal to the suite next to our suite's balcony. His room was the smaller of the two suites but it didn't share a wall with our room so that was a plus and he liked that he could see the 'wawer owzide.' Next to Geo's room was an extra room that had no access to a nearby bathroom, the relator had called it a 'potential craft or school room' but for now was an extra play space until we got it set up as my office while I was recovering from giving birth to the twins so I wouldn't have to go up and down the stairs all day long. Across from Geo's room was the other suite, the room that would hopefully one day belong to baby number four but for now was just an extra bedroom for when our friends visited.

At one end of the hall was a linen closet outside a jack and jill suite, the feature that had sold us on this house over all the others that also had a waterfront view, library, sun room and plenty of both work and entertainment space. It was the number one thing on our dream list once we learned we were expecting twins. For now, we had one half set up for sleeping and the other for caring for the babies but eventually, they would each get a room. The nursery was painted in shades of blue and teal with white accents in a mermaid theme while the baby care room was styled after an old Hollywood dressing room with white, grey and black accents. The defining feature of the room was its silver and crystal chandelier and black and white posters of Hollywood starlets from the 50s and early 60s. We also had a few strategically placed stuffed lambs, textured pillows and cozy taupe cashmere throws. On the other end of the hall was our master bedroom that was larger by a few hundred square feet than the Brooklyn apartment I lived in when I met Alex. We showed Cal most of it, the grand ceiling with its skylight and our new four poster bed complete with new custom designed mattress. As much as I loved Alex's bed at the penthouse, we both agreed that we needed to start our marriage with a bed that had never had another woman tied to it. Our room was all in shades of mahogany and red with brick accents and pictures of island landscapes with sweet smelling white candles and a iPad on one nightstand and a stack of books and a black eyeglass case on the other.

We neglected to show him what had been the sitting area before we removed the windows, built a wall and turned it into a burlesque-themed pleasure room, I called it a dungeon once and Alex was pissed so I never made that mistake again. It was complete with red and black striped walls and early pornographic black and white photos of partially clad women. It had all sorts of things that I had no desire to explain to my brother, like the sex chair, bench or stool that had last been used a few hours ago nor did I want to explain to him why I liked it when my wife paddled me or tied me to a spreader or what that weird cross in the corner was for. Or as Alex teased me our first night in our new suite, "So many places to tie you up, my dear, after I send these girls their eviction notice." I also didn't want to explain why there were two beds in our master suite when he knew full well that we always slept in the same bed. Maybe if he looked at it long enough, he would notice that it was black steel with waterproof sheets and attachment points. There was also had a small walk-in closet with costumes and Alex's safe.

We did show him our large bathroom with its wall to wall counter that wrapped around the corner, double sinks, jetted hot tub, clawfoot tub, glass walled shower with three heads and in a own contained area the toilet complete with bidet. The master bath had a small walk in closet on one side, that for now was the shoe, bag and accessories closet and on the other a small hallway that led directly into the dressing and extra laundry room then the humongous master closet that for now we were attempting to share. It had a counter running along the center and extra drawers, perfect for 'a lesbian couple' the relator had told us. At least she was the first to not once call us a 'couple with unique needs,' as if all families and couples didn't have a certain uniqueness that was solely their own.

Downstairs was another bedroom suite, that could potentially be Geo's bedroom when he became old enough to reside two stories from his parents if his younger half siblings got too annoying. There was a storage area, a room we planned to turn into a home gym complete with a bike and spaces for boxing, soccer and golf. Then there was the home theater with a recording studio across from it, the two main spaces that exposed this home's previous owner, a successful film and theater sound producer/composer. Between the two rooms was a second powder room. Finally, we showed off the large game room, complete with an arcade, darts, pool and poker tables, an antique slot machine and a bar that led to a large wine cellar with a small wooden table and stools made from old bourbon barrels, the feature Cal found most impressive about the house.

"So what do you think," I asked him as we took a seat at the bar.

"Mom is going to hate this place. You are now the sort of family she looked through the blinds at with disdain because they had a better house."

"And my wife doesn't sleep with her secretary, instead she uses her to help set up a trap for the girl she's slowly falling for."

"I'm sure dad wasn't always an adulterer," Cal added as I rolled my eyes but I understood why a boy would want to defend his father while at the same time hoping my boy never would.

"Yeah, but before Piper, I always was. Now I could never imagine having any other woman in my bed. Well, unless she bares a strong resemblance to me and is nursing a broken heart while I tell her every reason it's not worth the tears. All I've ever wanted was somebody to love me by choice. Somebody to promise never to leave or break my fragile heart. I thought I could only find that person if I made them myself. But then I found my soulmate. And I know this house is insane and if you had told me when I was a kid watching my mother knock on our neighbors' doors cause we got evicted from a place that was unihabitable to begin with that this would not just be mine but bought with cash I would've told you to fuck off in my gutsy five-year-old way."

"Wait, you don't have a mortgage?"

"Nope. I haven't had a mortgage in twenty years on anything. I got a mortgage on my first two flips and business loans to help with my first Harlem and Queens properties but other than that I've always just reinvested my profits from other properties or rental income," Alex told him proudly.

"Wow. Maybe I need to get into real estate and construction, get on top of this tiny house craze," Cal declared as Alex paused and raised her eyebrow.

"I'd gladly get you a foot in the door. That and smart investing in stocks is how I got so wealthy. Real estate is hard work but it's an easy dollar and something people will always need. That gives people a sense of pride and stability."

"Thanks, Alex."

"You want a bourbon, baby brother? Piper, ginger ale with lime," she asked as she looked over at Geo practicing bowling on our miniature lane.

I smiled, then rubbed my belly to savor the moment of perfection a little longer before I answered, "yes," and watched as Alex played bartender and looked hot as hell doing it as she flirted with me like I was a sexy blonde coed and I was the prettiest thing she'd seen all night. I don't know what Cal was doing while Alex and I were shamelessly flirting and showing off our cleavage to each other but I hope it was taking notes.

* * *

[LC1]


	62. Chapter 62

I sat at a café not far from Smith, it was just around finals week so the place was packed with college girls buried in books and occasionally taking breaks to flirt with each other. I had one eye on Alex working on her research for her latest projects and another on the window watching for my old college advisor, Dr. Bartley. She hadn't been completely surprised when I had called her asking to catch up and that I had some things I wanted to talk to her about. She had been in her late forties when I was at Smith and had been teaching for half her life already. She was a lesbian-feminist with a wife and four cats who had all the confidence and pride that I didn't and was sure I'd never have. She was smart and not bad looking for a grey-haired middle-aged woman, I had to admit eighteen year old me found herself developing a crush on her teacher that only added another level of confusion to all I was feeling now that I was in an environment where queer girls far outnumbered straight ones, not just in my dorm as at prep school but in the whole college. It was easier to go to a gay bar and drink now that I had no rules and a midnight curfew during the week and none at all on the weekends. Polly had told me that risking some bulldagger molesting her wasn't worth the price of being able to say she had been to a bar, so she chose to go to frat parties in Amherst through whatever means necessary and didn't go to a 21+ club night until the night of her twenty-first birthday. I turned twenty-one in a Northampton dyke bar with a few of my buddies from the team and my third margarita in hand while making eyes at a gorgeous thirtyish femme across the bar.

Gay bars in Northampton didn't card if you flashed a Smith ID, I now understood that it was purely about maintaining the food chain and attracting a certain kind of clientele, one like the woman my wife used to be. Sometimes I would like to have imagined her spying a barely legal Piper Chapman on a Saturday night when she just happened to be in town while Alex wondered how it never did. But if my first encounter with Alex had been with that version of hers, I would have been left eternally unfulfilled. Left wanting just like every other young thing that warmed her bed if she performed well enough at the club to even get an extra hour in Alex Vause's private sanctum. I would have just been another of her nameless hookups. Even if she had wanted to give me more, she wouldn't have been capable.

You can't build a house without a hammer. Not that I would have been ready or able either.

But the kick to my rearranged organs from my two budding interior decorators reminded me of just how far in the past all that was. All that mattered was this moment. I rubbed my belly to quiet the girls so I could have an actual conversation for once without having to get up to pee twice or being rendered breathless midsentence. I was just over twenty-eight weeks pregnant with identical twins, I was lucky these kids were still safe and healthy in my womb but sometimes I just wanted to be free from them, their weights combined were already around Geo's when he was born. I had just gotten them quiet when a woman in grey wool pants and a black sweater walked in. I barely recognized her and she barely recognized me but I was the only woman in the place who even remotely resembled one of the right age.

"Piper, hello," she exclaimed as she carefully placed a yellow ceramic mug on the table, "Would you like something to eat? Now that you're not my student or advisee anymore I can buy you food and it isn't improper," she said with a wink as she touched my lower arm and I looked over at Alex who if looks could kill my college advisor would be dead. But I kind of liked having a middle-aged lesbian flirting with me and it was harmless. I knew who I was going home with.

"Well, I did always wish you would have even gotten me a cup for water back when I was a student," I flirted back, "I always did suspect it was a mutual crush."

"I was married, divorced now but back then I still thought Lisa and I were forever, and you were still struggling with your sexuality. I knew any feelings you had came from your need for self-discovery. If I hadn't then I wouldn't have agreed to continue to be your academic advisor and thesis reader. I knew I could teach you not just the things you needed to learn to thrive academically but in life. And hopefully, I have. I'm so glad you got back in touch, Piper. You look so happy, I barely see a glimmer of the girl who used to cry in my office and look at my carpet. I'm going to get a croissant and then we'll catch up," she paused as if to say this is your last chance to request a snack and I knew if the girls weren't hungry yet, they soon would be. Lately, I could out-eat a teenage boy and even I didn't know where I was putting it nor did I want to eat most of the time, I was merely compelled to.

"I'll have a tomato mozzarella flatbread, no onions or peppers."

"Good to know you actually eat these days. You certainly look like you haven't been skipping meals or working out every ounce of fat. Or worse, living on tequila and then going for a five-mile run. I was so worried about you but I knew it would have fractured the trust we had built if I had reported you to student health like I was supposed to per school policy when a student is suspected of having an eating disorder or suicidality, you weren't suicidal so I figured I could take care of it myself by giving you space and opening your eyes to the world. And you're what thirty now?"

"Twenty-nine, next month."

"I forget you were the youngest in your class at the college and all through school if I remember right."

"And the fastest runner and one of the smartest," I corrected boastfully.

"You still are one of the best students I ever had. I knew the first time I saw you in my literature seminar and you expertly broke down a passage I had seen grad students struggle with as a second semester freshman that you were special. And that you managed to graduate magna cum laude with honors despite everything you had weighing on you back then proved it."

A few minutes later she came back with a number on a metal holder and sat down, "So Piper, tell me about your life. Did you ever end up accepting your sexuality? What are you doing with your life? What happened with going to NYU?"

"NYU. Got a job waiting tables, went out to the bars and lived the sex and the single straight girl from good family lifestyle and abandoned that dream. My one goal became to build my career and snag one of Manhattan's most eligible bachelors who could give me a thrilling life. I had privilege, intelligence, a skinny waist and killer legs. The guys flocked to me like a prize heifer at the fair. But they all wanted to fuck me. Then I met a guy who was sweet and convinced me he was different, moved in with the guy and ended up pregnant at twenty-four by a man-child completely unprepared for fatherhood."

"I'm sorry. Are you still with him? Did you keep it," she interrupted as she gently reached her hand towards mine.

"I did. He's three and the light of my life. I wouldn't have made it through the past few years or dared to be my true self if I didn't have him. The guy isn't in either of our lives. But he does have another parent who loves him very much."

"Oh he does, does he? Are you playing the pronoun game," she asked with a mixture of excitement and pride.

"I am," I smiled and finally flashed her my wedding ring.

"You have a wife? Piper! A wife! My God, that's the best news I ever could have heard from you. Even better than telling me you had gone to NYU and wanted advice about getting your first job as a professor," she exclaimed excitedly, her face beaming with pride like a mother whose daughter just told her she finally found the one.

"Yes, and she's sitting right over there," I pointed at Alex, who was hunched over a book a few tables away. Lost in thought, chewing on a red pen and rubbing the wrinkles between her eyes that I found so attractive. She hated them because they made her look old and I loved them because they made her look distinguished.

"Not bad, Piper. You did well. Something about her looks so familiar," she replied as she checked out my wife, "What's her name?"

"Alex."

"What does she do?"

"She's a doctor," I responded coyly because I was beginning to realize Dr. Bartley probably knew Alex in an academic context and quite possibly before I was her advisee, "She actually grew up in Northampton, small world."

"Do you still live in New York City, Brooklyn I think it was, right?"

"We moved to Great Neck almost two months ago," I answered as Dr. Bartley gasped the moment that she realized exactly who my wife was.

"What's her last name," she asked like a mother who just caught her teenage daughter with an older boy she had no business hanging out with.

"Vause. Mine too now," I declared like a cocky adolescent.

"Piper! What are you doing? Dr. Alex Vause, seriously," she gasped.

"Yeah, I know her reputation but she's not like that anymore. She's an amazing mother, better than I could ever be even if I actually tried. She loves me and hasn't looked at another woman in the nearly two years we've been together. She spoils me."

"I'm sure she does. That much I can tell by looking at you, you're positively glowing. You look so radiant, being in love with a woman and finally walking in your truth will do that to you, won't it."

"Sure, we'll go with that," I responded sweetly with a slight hint of sarcasm, not wanting to stoke the fire.

"It's just I met her, twenty-three years ago at a psychology conference hosted by Harvard. She was their star student and getting some research award, I think it was an award for graduating seniors, as a matter of fact. I've seen her quite a few times at women's conferences and such over the years. I've actually cited some of her works in mine and vice versa."

"Did you ever actually meet her," I asked worried that my college girl middle-aged woman crush had made out with my wife before I did. I felt an unexplainable tinge of jealousy at the thought of them kissing or more. Please not more, I thought as I imagined myself permanently unable to have sex again and I really liked sex, especially with Alex.

"No, but I've had plenty of conversations about her over the years. How she would be great if she could just settle down and get her head on straight. Get past her rambling, girl-crazy ways. She's too old for you and I know she got known because she advocated for BDSM and sex worker's rights when nobody in serious academia was. I don't see you being into those things. What do you two have in common? I'm sure she's great. She's smart and beautiful and makes you smile, I just want to make sure you aren't in a relationship doomed to a nasty power imbalance."

"Do you really want to know about my sex life, cause I'll tell you."

"You're seriously into that? I thought I taught you better. It's exploitative and sexual violence. Degrading and the result of unresolved girlhood trauma. I know you didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't that horrific."

"My thinking has evolved. I've researched the other side. Didn't you always teach us to learn about both sides of an issue and be able to understand and argue the merits of either? It's the ultimate expression of trust in another person when done right and it allows me to just relax and feel more present. I could experience it without fear at first and now I just like it. I think it's a viable option when done right."

"And if anybody's going to do it right, it would be her. If you're going to engage in such behavior at least it's with her. Just tell me, how old is she?"

"Forty."

"Well, you always did have a thing for older women and you could get them too. Why don't you bring her over and introduce us. I have always wanted to meet the star of academic lesbian sexual medicine."

"As long as you two don't sit here talking shop."

"I won't but don't think we aren't going to discuss why our shop talk isn't yours too."

"That's what I wanted to talk about anyway," I told her as I held the edge of the table and got up awkwardly as she finally saw my prominent baby bump.

"Well, it looks like you've been busy. Guess you aren't just glowing from being in love."

"I mean technically I am," I asserted.

"Some things never change," she responded through rolled eyes, "You look like you are due any day now."

"Nope still about two months to go. It's twins."

"Congratulations, Piper," she jumped out of her seat and hugged me then motioned with her hand just above my belly.

"Go ahead. Say hello to the future members of the Smith class of 2023," I told her with a toothy grin as I felt my skin warming and brightening.

"Girls," she exclaimed as she pressed her hand lightly against my belly and smoothed her hand over the top of my midsection as Baby A got curious about the unfamiliar touch on her Mommy's belly.

"Yes. We're thrilled. We got pregnant on our first try and then got more than we bargained for. We put in one embryo and got two babies."

"What about your son?"

"I don't think he quite grasps it. He understands his mother is in love with a woman and that mommies and daddies sometimes make babies but somehow his mommies made them. He was happy at first but I don't think he understood it. And he's starting to wonder why he can't play with them and how they'll get out of Mommy's tummy or if they'll go back into Momma's tummy."

"Did you tell him how IVF, I guess judging from your word choice, works?"

"Yeah. We told him they were from Alex's egg and I don't think we should have, it only made him more confused. Sometimes I think we should have just kept it a secret but I was too excited to be having the woman I love's babies, to have this precious, deep part of my wife growing inside me that I wanted to shout it from the rooftops and jump on couches. I thought choosing to spend my life with a woman meant never being able to after nine months of sacrificing your body, mind, and soul to another being and hours of labors not getting the ultimate reward of seeing your lover's eyes in the child you made together. And I couldn't imagine living a life where I never got to feel that but now I do. I couldn't hide it if I wanted to."

"What did I use to tell you when you were so worried that you couldn't be both a successful female athlete and openly love women?"

"That if nobody dared to do it, it would never happen and that I was bolder and more courageous than I knew. That we needed to tell the hard truths about how we create lives that work for all parts of us."

"The personal is political, Piper. Is it anybody's business who did what when it came to creating these two amazing humans you are going to soon bring into the world, no. But if we don't speak our truths then society assumes that we're ashamed instead of the real reason of trying to exist on this planet. How about you guys come back to my house, if we get to chatting I'll cook dinner. Unless you have to get back to your son, which I would completely understand. Your child has to come before anything else.."

"He's currently being spoiled by Nana at her house, I doubt he even notices we're gone."

"Carol," she asked with a shocked tone.

"Uhm, nobody could change that much. Alex's mom, Diane, she loves that boy like he's her flesh and blood. Alex bought her a house just outside of Northampton. More than either of his biological grandmothers ever will," I told her as Alex watched my every move, ready to thrust out her hand or leap out of her chair to protect her pregnant wife at any moment.

We went back to her house, well after Alex pointed out to me that she owned a quarter of the houses on her street, including her neighbor and the house across the street, I didn't think the world could get any smaller at that moment then drinking tea for me and wine for them, eating and playing Scrabble. As the night drew to a close, Dr. Bartley realized we had talked about everything but why I had asked for the meeting in the first place.

"It's getting late and I forgot to ask why you wanted to see me after all these years," she stated as she sat back in a greyish cream colored chair and a cat promptly lept into her lap and starting meowing for his mother's attention.

"Getting together with Alex has allowed me to return to the path I was meant for. I am applying to Gallatin for my Ph.D. next spring and was wondering if you could help me get my application together. It's due next month."

"What do you need?"

"I want to use a chapter from my thesis as my sample but I don't have a copy anymore. Also, I need help with the final edit for my study proposal and the actual application and a reference letter. Nicky and Jamila, from our company, and Lorna, my former assistant, wrote letters and Alex of course put in a good word but I need an academic reference still. I'm pretty much guaranteed to get in but they have to go through the motions and I want to do it for real, the way I would if I weren't married to an esteemed member of the faculty. I don't want to get in as Dr. Vause's wife, I want to get in on my own merits."

"And you will. I'm so proud of you. I love watching all my students succeed but there was always something special about you. You were different. I don't know if it's because I got more attached to you than a professor should or just that you are incredibly bright, determined, creative and passionate. You are a changemaker, Piper."

"Alex also had something, a project we want to start and maybe you can connect us to the right people if you have another moment."

"Of course, Dr. Vause," Dr. Bartley nodded in my wife's direction.

"Again, for the hundredth time tonight when my wife is lying on your couch with her swollen cankles and stinky, bare feet in my lap it's Alex. At a conference feel free to call me by my title if you insist but not here."

"I did not expect you to be so humble, Alex."

"Yeah well, I'm good at disproving people's ill-informed expectations of me. Now for our project, I run an organization that helps single moms in central and western Massachusetts get careers in biotech. I pay for their education, offer career counseling and job placement, living expenses for them and their children and all I ask is that they pay it forward. Previously I had been cooperating with a few community colleges in the area and I still am. However, since meeting Piper and her telling me she believed in my vision for encouraging mothers to get into demand technical fields and that she wants to do something to give back to Smith and women's colleges I have decided I would like to expand my program and pay for one single mother and one queer woman who otherwise would not have the resources to study for an underrepresented career at Smith for up to six years of education."

"Wow. The college would love that. I don't think you would have any trouble getting the necessary approvals. Would you want to be part of the selection process?"

"I was thinking I would nominate them to the admissions committee. However, I'm open to other options as long as I make the final decision about what student I want to invest in. It's my money, the only person other than me who gets to spend it freely is my Piper."

"And what would you want in exchange?"

"Other than my daughters and granddaughters' guaranteed admission into Smith if they so choose?"

"They already have that with Piper as their mother."

"Alex is their mother, not me. In our family the 'mother' is the genetic parent, the other parent is the mom," I interjected.

"Sorry, their mom. But you know they'll probably want to name something after you," Dr. Bartley nodded at me before looking back at Alex.

"Name it after Piper," Alex muttered without hesitation.

"Then they'll just insist on naming it after both of you. It was only a matter of time before something at Smith was named after a lesbian couple, is that word okay or-"

"No, it's fine. We prefer queer couple but we're two women in love and that's the most explicit way of saying it," I responded before lying back and listening to my wife and old professor talk.

"Okay, I just don't want to get it wrong. But I can help with that and if you want to expand it to other women's colleges just let me know. I'm sure the other colleges in the consortium would jump at the chance for more funding for science and technology education. A lot of them are starting engineering programs that they can barely fund but are sorely needed so they take money from more obscure liberal arts disciplines to feed the well-paying careers of the future."

"I love to read and did a minor in classics. I understand why those programs exist and their purpose better than anyone," Alex asserted.

"The humanities need funding too."

"Whatever I can do to encourage women to have a satisfying life, feed their children and their souls, just let me know. With my amount of wealth and a wife, we're expected to be patrons of something and I want it to be underrepresented students, emerging technological disciplines and underfunded programs at women's colleges."

"I'll get you in touch with our alumni and large gifts departments; since I'm assuming Piper would be part of this gift."

"Yes, of course. We don't want accolades for this but if it raises awareness, we'll take them."

"How much are you looking to donate?"

"A blank check in perpetuity. Just tell me what you need and what it's for and I'll give you every penny if I agree with your proposal."

"Okay. So we'll add the president of the college to this discussion. That's the sort of thing she gets out of bed for."

"Thanks, for all your help. And for taking care of my girl when she was just a scared, insecure baby queer, for encouraging her to be herself and trying to listen to her without fixing her."

"She didn't need to be fixed. Never did, never will."

"I told her the same thing the night we met in person. You want to see someone broken and in need of fixing, just look at me. I'm seriously fucked up but yet UCSF and Harvard awarded me degrees in psychology and medicine, NYU offered me a residency, fellowship, and tenure in psychiatry anyway. Piper, however, just needed someone to release her from her gilded cage and let her fly away. Except she flew onto my finger and refused to leave," Alex added seductively as she tried to convince me to give her my hand but I stiffened my wrist while blushing like I didn't know exactly what she was trying to do. She kept trying and I kept playing hard to get until Dr. Bartley cleared her throat and we were awakened from our game, which by then had turned into Alex running her finger along the skin between my fingers as if she were running them along my slit, teasing my folds open, and my knuckles were my clit.

"As much as I'm glad to see Piper being comfortable with her sexual attraction to women, I don't want to see my former student fucking someone I consider a longtime professional acquaintance on my couch. But good for you for being yourself and for not being afraid to show that pregnant women still have needs and are sensual, alluring, and attractive women. I take back what I said earlier about the power imbalance, I see one but it's not the one I expected to see. Piper has all the true power here. Alex, it's pretty easy to see when you care about her. Just promise me that you won't forget that you're lucky to have her, not the other way around."

"Oh, I remind myself every time she walks into the room. I could never forget that I swear on my mother's life. I plan to do right by her and honor her for the rest of our lives together," she told my old professor while rubbing my ankles and planting kisses on my cheek, ending with one to my nose.

"Good. Now you ladies get home safe," she told us as Alex put my shoes back on my feet, or at least I think I still had feet. I hadn't seen them and barely felt them in going on two weeks. The only feet I was fully aware of at this point were the four kicking and pushing inside me. Alex then helped me up and rubbed my lower back.

"I have precious cargo in my passenger seat, I drive like a granny these days instead of a Formula 1 racecar driver," Alex joked before Dr. Bartley hugged us both goodbye and walked us to Alex's car.


	63. Chapter 63

**A/N: Here's a bit of dom Piper and a very uhm interesting Vauseman strap scene to liven up your quarantine...this chapter isn't perfect but it's very not fluffy fluff and I wanted to give you guys something (might update this chapter later)...thanks again for all your encouraging words (and I'm in the outlining stage of the sequel and it has a title but I'm going to finish Stuck on You first and I'm in the early stages of working on a three-part paranormal romance Vauseman series "Souls Trilogy" is my working title for the series)...Baby shower chapter should go up soon and then we'll have the twins and name reveal!**

"Where are we going? You missed the turn for the highway towards Boston, baby," I hollered at my wife who was smirking in her dark sunglasses and making it next to impossible for me not to kiss her until she ran us off the road. But I had spent just over seven months growing our daughters and I couldn't imagine never getting to hold them or losing them because I did something unbelievably selfish. Sure I had done some incredibly self-absorbed things when I was so obsessed with fitting in and convincing the larger world that I was straight and only crushed on girls when I drank. It was tequila's fault, not mine. The tequila liked girls. But that didn't explain why sipping tea or even a glass of lemon water had the same damn effect. I was brought back to the dream I called my present reality by a hand wrapping around my thigh. I parted my legs hoping she would rub the area of constant need. I no longer knew who made me hornier, my daughters or their mother. But she didn't give in to my need.

"Don't question me. I know where I'm going. I grew up here. You lived here what, four years? Try being an actual permanent resident with a Massachusetts driver's license," she commanded as she dug her nails into the most sensitive spot on my thigh without taking her attention off the road for a second.

"Again with the anti-Smith Townie rhetoric."

"Look at you with your big girl words, Smithie."

"So if you know where you're going, how about you tell me where _I'm_ going," I asked as if I really thought I had any leverage with this version of my wife. When she got it in her mind to surprise me, there was no breaking her. Not even Nicky or Diane would tell me, not even with the caveat of don't tell Alex. Sometimes I wondered how she kept a constant hold on her power the way she did.

"The beach house. Like I told you the other day."

"Then why aren't we driving towards Provincetown?"

"Why are you still asking questions when you know I'm not going to give you what you want," she dug in harder until it burned and then slapped hard without soothing the stinging sensation.

"That's how you wanna play it, Vause? Okay. I'll just ask are we there yet every five minutes."

"Are you my child or having my child? You know what happens when you piss me off. I don't want to have to choose between my daughters' need to stay cozy and yours to be punished severely. Cause right now I'm not sure which I'd choose."

"We both know you'd choose the girls, Smooshy cause you're my mushy softie Vaus-ee."

"Quit while you still have half a chance of getting some tonight."

I bit my lip and softened my eyes, "You know you can't resist me. I have my ways."

"Not another word from you unless it involves our daughters."

"Until we get there?"

"Until I fucking say fucking otherwise! Now be a good girl," she rubbed the crotch of my pants and pushed in right on top of my clit as I struggled to breathe. To not give her the satisfaction from watching me cum so easily and from her misogynistic and aggressive behavior that I did not find attractive or at least I didn't want to admit it.

"You like that don't you, babe," she teased. I had so many witty comebacks but I didn't dare. For the next forty-five minutes, I stayed silent as we drove further north into the Berkshires and Alex stopped the car at a beautiful artsy hotel. She could see me wanting to speak as I reached my hand for hers. "Does Mrs. Vause want to speak?"

I nodded my head affirmatively.

"What are you willing to do for it?"

I knew I was treading in dangerous waters that determined how the rest of my night and possibly longer would unfold. If I touched her in the wrong spot, at the wrong time I might lose a finger. Still, I had to prove I was daring and up for anything. I kissed every inch of skin showing from the neckline of her tank top to her lips and breathed a sigh of relief into her mouth as she pulled away from the kiss.

"If you can still talk after that I'd be impressed," I didn't say anything, just kept looking at her softly, "promise never to teach our daughters that."

"Promise never to teach them the eyebrow raise."

"Sorry babe, that's genetic. They are already in there perfecting it, probably practicing with each other when you think they're napping."

"Well, they do like to look at each other a lot. They always have been so close in there. I still remember how scared we were that they were monoamniotic too."

"Me too. I was a mess after our sixteen-week checkup and they said the twins might be sharing a sac. Hey, wait a second did I give you permission to speak?"

"I merely utilized the previously spoken loophole, Dr. Vause. That I could talk if it was about the girls."

"Why are you so smart?"

"Cause you're a fucking genius. A bit socially inept and poorly bred but smart as hell when you wanna be."

"At least it's better than just being too smart for your own damn good."

"You're just mad cause I'm right."

"Let's get checked in and see what I can do with you, a bed and a do not disturb sign."

"I know exactly what you're gonna do. Sucks to be on the other end of your spouse's wouldn't you like to know, doesn't it, Vause?"

"You really wanna test me today, don't you? You are a gutsy little thing."

"But I'm cute and you love me."

"How sure are you about that?"

"Pretty damn. You need me."

"Sure, like a hole in the head," she sighed as she got out of the car then came around to the door and helped me out of the car then grabbed our bags before checking in. After the hotel manager gave us a once over as he confirmed we wanted one bed more times than necessary we arrived at the room. I rummaged through her suitcase until I found her dildo selection, she had brought all my favorites but I knew which one I wanted before I even opened the bag. I threw her cock and it's harness at her, "now be a good little wife and pleasure the chick you got knocked up. I'm gonna ride your cock so hard it'll nut."

"Looks like it already did," she rubbed my protruding belly.

"Yeah and try condoms, Vause."

"They don't feel as good and the doctor told my ma the mumps went to my balls when I was knee-high to a grasshopper."

"Yeah, I got your mumps right here. Now go. I have you all to myself for the next thirty-two hours and I plan to spend as much of it as possible fucking cause the doctor is going to put me on sex restriction at my next appointment and we both know it, so it'll be around September before we can fuck again."

"Let's make the most of it. You want anything?"

"Just you in nothing but a dildo."

"Not even my bra or a nice corset? I got a new one just for you, it's blue."

"Later. But right now I need to rub one out bareback."

"You just wanna grab my titties while you cum."

"So what if I do? Do you blame me? I mean have you seen them?"

"Oh, I have and if I could suck them myself I wouldn't need you, you cute little pain in the ass."

"Keep talking. We'll see who wears the pants in this marriage."

"I'm the breadwinner."

"You may have paid for your cocks but I own them. And in nine weeks I'll own you too after I push out these little goblins."

"Thanks for the image right before I tear your disobedient pussy up."

"Should I give you a better one," I reached my hand into my shorts and started rubbing my clit as she glared at me like she wanted to rip my arm out of its socket then stomped into the bathroom and came back out seconds later as requested and laid down on the bed on her back with her arms above her head wearing nothing but a strap-on and a smile. I tried to pull her hands from the pillow but she stiffened her wrists and smiled not sweetly but the sort of smile that burned me from the inside. Luckily or unluckily, depending on who you asked, I knew how to allow the fire to fuel me instead of consuming me by now. That was one secret I would take to my grave lest I be forced to smack a bitch down.

"Okay, Vause that's how you wanna play it, fine. I'll play," I skipped over to her bags and rifled through them until I found the red leather wrist cuffs she knew I loved. I didn't even try to hide the moment I headed back to the bed with them.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't feel like using your hands right now, so I'm just being a good wife and making sure you don't unwittingly do something you aren't in the mood for."

"Why do I insist on teaching you things?"

"Cause you are a kinky little dyke who enjoys getting fucked despite being this infamous leather top, my queen."

"What am I going to do with my little pet?"

"You put puppies in her and now you are fucked. Literally and figuratively. Now let me selflessly service my queen."

"Yes, cause riding my cock is such a selfless act, babe."

"Don't act like you don't enjoy watching me fuck myself with your perfect cock," I teased as I tied the restraints around her wrists and added a silk scarf for good measure, just in case my captive managed to try to take back her willpower.

"It should be, you picked it out," she responded as I leaned over and kissed her before running my hand down the middle of her body to her belly button without stopping at her breasts as much as I could tell she wanted me to. I wanted her to know who was in charge of every fiber of her being and until then, all pleasure would be mine. It took a couple of hours but eventually, she gave up her need for complete control and allowed herself to feel immense pleasure. Eventually, I untied her and helped her shimmy the harness off her body and then it was just the two of us for three more delicious rounds of lovemaking. Once we came down from our sex-induced haze, she ran her hand up my arm, until I opened my eyes where they were nestled in her tits and looked up.

"Hi, sleepyhead. You are too adorable when you wake up with that toothy little grin."

"I know I am. I just like to remind you frequently. What did you do?"

"I was going to grab my book but you looked so comfy and cute using my body as your personal pregnancy pillow so I just laid here-"

"And?"

She ran her hand up my jaw and bit my lip before kissing me softly, "I was getting there. Watched you sleep."

"You did," I gushed as I kissed between her breasts and tangled my hand into her hair.

"Yes," she ran her fingers through my hair, twisting strands between her fingers and planting kisses in my hair while breathing in my scent, "you want to order some dinner and then take a bubble bath."

"Did you still want to read?"

"Are you asking me to read to you?"

"I love it and you're so good at it."

"It's your night, babe. We can spend it however you want."

And we did. We spent it eating vegan sushi and curry in white robes, dipping in and out of the bath between reading and laughter until we finally fell asleep. After breakfast at the hotel the next morning, we drove to the beach house where we spent two days hanging out at a still largely empty beach and walking along Commercial Street. Alex treated me to spa treatments, waxing and we got our eyebrows done even though I knew if I carried to term it would all be grown back. It made me feel like the strong, powerful woman I had grown to enjoy seeing in the mirror, the sort of woman capable of carrying twin girls and raising them to be righteous warriors. I had been feeling weary and hating being pregnant, wanting them out, especially as I saw women in my twin due date group giving birth to reasonably healthy babies. They could be born now and be fine but these three days with Alex had rededicated me to my goal of carrying these girls until the doctor had to force them out. I remembered my first question when I found out there were two, "How do I carry to term," and all the times I've pleaded since for people to tell me how to carry these babies long enough that I get to hold them at birth and take them home with me. I knew I would make it. Or at least I hoped I would.


	64. Chapter 64

I woke up to my phone ringing. It was June 8th and Alex hadn't said a word about my birthday. I was pissed as I woke up to no sign that Alex had been anywhere nearby in hours. I know we had fallen asleep cuddling but where was she now? Where was our son? The house was quiet and there was no coffee or note on my bedstand table. I know things had been stressful lately and I was looking about as attractive as a hippo in a tutu but that still didn't explain why she had been spending so much time on the phone when she wasn't on the computer these days. I was a month from having my wife's babies and she didn't love me anymore. Where did that leave me? Our son? I was abruptly rocketed out of my irrationality by the ringing turning into the ding of a text message.

**Nicky: **_Get your preggo ass up, I'm leaving Queens and coming to pick you up_

**Piper: **_Where's Alex?_

**Nicky: **_Good to know I'm loved. I know but I also like the present location of my ovaries…useless as they are…I've been instructed to take you to breakfast and not let you come home until 11:45…that's all I can tell ya, sry_

**Piper: **_I hate mine right now_

**Nicky: **_OV, wouldn't it be your uterus that you want to be freed of…didn't think your ovaries had anything to do with it unless Vause's cock really is that good_

**Piper: **_Wish it were_

**Nicky: **_Glad it's not_

**Piper: **_And that's why I'm her wife¬ u_

**Nicky: **_That and you're a kinky little shit who only looks sweet and innocent…now get your ass ready and stop being Piper _

**Piper: **_How can I stop being myself_

**Nicky:**_ How does Boss put up with you?_

**Piper: **_See your earlier text concerning me being a freak in the sheets and the perfect doctor's wife everywhere else _

Nicky just messaged a rolled eyes emoji and the texts quieted down so I decided to see how quickly I could shower and attempt to get into clothes that weren't completely uncomfortable and didn't show more of my belly then they covered. I tried to wear shorts and a tank top but failed and rolled my eyes as I once again grabbed the wrap dress that I didn't really like wearing but it fit better than the oversized men's shirts and sometimes panties but always cotton boxers when Geo was running around. I was just finishing getting ready when the doorbell rang.

"Hey, asshole. Boss said I would have to help you into your glass slippers so what are you wearing for shoes these days OV?"

"Usually slippers but since I have to be presentable, flip flops."

"Fuck it, Piper. You wanna wear slippers you wear slippers. You're carrying my little nieces and making Vause into a kinder, gentler creature, wear what you want. I'll still go out in public with you. Just not that BBQ sauce stained t-shirt you've taken to wearing. Did you have to come into the room during our videoconference call?"

"It was just you and I needed some sugar."

"I don't know about your queendom, but in mine, we keep the sugar in the pantry, not the office."

"I didn't want that kind."

"Boss is a lot of things, sugar ain't one."

"My Alex is all syrupy sweetness."

"Yeah, that's why more than once I've walked into Vause's office at work only to be greeted by her cum face and no Piper to be seen."

"I miss being able to do that. I miss how she tastes."

"I'll give you that. Me too and that woman is a never-ending fountain who won't admit how much she likes to get her pussy licked. But don't tell Lorna. She doesn't get it like we do."

"C'mon, Nicky, that's why you don't date straight girls willing to make an exception."

"Okay, come along now, ya big lesbo. You marry the queen and all of a sudden you're an expert on lesbianism. We're on a schedule."

"I'm not a lesbian! I'm not!"

"Round and round we go where we stop everybody knows it's when Piper sees Alex and Stretch breathes in the vicinity."

"You know she hates that and by extension I hate it."

"Lezzie Sasquatch?"

"That's worse and you know it. If you wouldn't say it in front of her don't say it in front of her wife!"

"Boss really has you under her spell, doesn't she?"

"Yup. I mean you know how she is."

"I do. I loved her first but gave you to her cause I knew you were everything she's ever wanted. Now let's go."

We went to a local café where we spent nearly an hour talking and laughing about every subject but Alex before she told me the other thing she had been ordered to do, buy me a new party dress and it was pretty clear once we got into the store that Alex had given her very specific instructions.

She insisted on a teal dress with pink flowers and hints of mustard yellow and a surprisingly comfortable pair of gold sandals, just like the saleslady had told me they would be. I found a couple of other tops I liked and some lightweight grey lounge pants for after I had the twins then we paid and after Nicky made a quick call, presumably asking Alex if it was okay that she brought me home judging by how many times she said "Okay, Vause," and "I got her here, no she's not pissed at you. Well anymore. I soothed it over," followed by, "Yeah I know you do, I'll have your girl home soon, Boss." She ended the call and then motioned to me, "Well, c'mon I promised Boss to get you home and only you can get away with not doing as you're told. The rest of us peasants have to kneel before the queen, including me."

"You're just jealous."

"Yeah seeing you waddling around is making me real fuckin' jealous of your life. You want all this, I know right now you'd give it to the lowest bidder but this is everything you said you wanted when you sat in my office that day. Love and stability for you and your son. To live your life in the open and be truthful, find someone who loves that person and in some surreal alternative universe that person ended up being Alex. I still can't believe it but you both deserve every bit of this," she pressed her hands into my bump, she was one of the three people allowed to do that but never did. She usually made a face like a kid who had just been tricked into eating "green popcorn" or told those trees with her dinosaur chicken nuggets were broccoli but at that moment she was every bit the sister I never knew I wanted.

Moments later I walked into the house but Alex was still nowhere to be found, however, it looked like she had invited people over. Were we having a party? That was the last thing I wanted. I felt fat and exhausted. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Why hadn't she told me? _Dumbass, it's June 8__th__ and she yet again used Nicky to run interference. The new dress, the party is for you. She didn't forget, she just wanted you to think she did._

"Earth to Piper. I'm starting to think Nicky was wrong and you are mad at me," a husky, concerned voice teased as I finally felt hands touching my arm. I looked up and saw Alex in the most beautiful skin-tight teal silk dress complete with a plunging neckline complete with strappy gold wedges.

"Wow. I wasn't until I saw you in that dress when I'm already sexually frustrated," I responded as I ran my hand down her middle and she smiled then her lip began to tremble, "You aren't making this any better."

"What? I'm not doing anything," Alex teased as she twisted a ringlet of my hair in her fingers.

"You're doing your lip thing," I told her as I felt the burning run from her fingertips on my hair, along my spine, and to my center.

"I do not do a lip thing, you do a lip thing," Alex asserted.

"What are you girls arguing about while I'm out here taking care of your guests? Hi, baby. Does she know about project Bohemian Rhapsody," Diane asked Alex as she walked into the entryway with a bottle of white wine. Now both Vause women were making my mouth water, _thanks universe._

"I was getting there, mother!"

"Don't give me that! And it looks like you were arguing about silliness, like always."

"Would one of you two like to explain to me what's going on here, other than tag-teaming to taunt me with the things I crave the most right now," I asked as I experienced every emotion between rage and unexplainable sadness. I quickly felt Alex pull me close and her fingers in my hair. "I…I…you…you…gun. Ruin. Dress."

"Lucky for me, Piper tears are so in season this year. As a matter of fact, they're the newest timeless look," Alex whispered in my ear as she kissed my earlobe sweetly.

"According to whom?"

"Would you believe _Vogue_," Alex bellowed against my ear and I could feel her belly rumbling and now so too could our daughters who perked up to their mother's presence against them.

"I'd believe some five-letter word starting with V, declared that fashion trend but I don't think it was Vogue."

"There's my girl. I love when you're feisty," Alex teased before biting my earlobe and nearly making me orgasm as I tried to channel every lingering bit of anger so I wouldn't fuck her against doctor's orders in front of Diane.

"Too much, baby. Too much," I responded as I slapped her ass.

"Okay my precious children, your precious children do not need to hear that. I doubt you want to do anything to risk sharing your birthday, Piper," Diane exclaimed as she noticed how intensely passionate things were rapidly becoming between us, "Keep it G-rated kids."

"But we're a queer couple, nothing we do is G-rated. Our very existence doing normal shit is automatically PG-13."

"Okay, G-rated in an alternate universe where people aren't so wrapped up in trying to figure out what two girls do in the bedroom, why must I have nothing but children who are too smart for their own damn good?"

"Just lucky, I guess," she told her mom before spinning me in her arms and kissing the back of my neck, "Let's get you changed and get some makeup on that already perfect face of yours."

"For what?"

"Your surprise baby shower/birthday party. But, shhh. You aren't supposed to know until you get outside. The baby shower was Jess' idea."

"Yeah, she was over having dinner one night and we were talking about how much I loved becoming an instant grandmother to a toddler and now being involved with your pregnancy, Piper, but that I felt I missed out on giving my daughter the baby shower I always dreamed about. My friends didn't have much but they made sure I had a baby shower with a supermarket cake, store brand soda and presents when I was pregnant with Alex and still on the fence about whether I could raise her. They knew that and they knew I so badly wanted to be able to provide for her enough to keep her and give her a reasonably okay life. So when they told me I had a daughter I resolved that one day I would give that love back and it's kinda amazing to see the chosen family my daughter has created surrounding her and encouraging her not to listen to the people who say she shouldn't be a mother or that she's less of one for any reason. It was Alex's idea to host it at the house, so Piper would be comfortable and no matter what the show would go on. The birthday party is all Alex and I want no part in whatever debauchery you two will still manage, even in your present state."

"It's that kind of party, babe," I asked Alex as my eyes widened with excitement.

"Figured it would be a good time to christen the pool and maybe I've heard you talk about how much you loved your adolescent lesbian pool parties when you were a closeted little baby queer and figured it was time you have one as an out and proud queer woman."

"That would be sweet, that is, if I believed it."

"It's the truth."

"So you have no desire to see a bunch of hot chicks in bikinis when the woman in your bed is neither looking very sexy nor is she able to fulfill your needs."

"Seeing a hot chick in a bikini has something to do with it but it's just you," she told me sweetly as she kissed my nose, "Let's get you ready before _my _mother in law comes and finds us. She's already been full of opinions about all this."

"Carol's here?"

"Yeah. She thinks it's a celebration of promiscuity. She thinks this party is disrespectful to our son. And she thinks that I'm the one throwing it, I wasn't going to. Not because I didn't want to but because that disrespects us as equal mothers."

"What did you do?"

"Reminded her that you may always be her daughter but now you're having mine and I'm the one making sure her daughter and grandson are fed, clothed and have a roof over their heads. You're a married woman, she's in my house, I make the rules. You're no longer her responsibility, you're mine. And I reminded her that I'm the one convincing you and Geo to go to Carol and Bill's house when neither of you want to and keep the peace, that it would be so easy to just stop defending her and just not go. She got all pissy after that but she doesn't have your natural-born ability to be unaffected by the Vause female gaze so that didn't last long."

"You are amazing," I responded in a breathy tone as I melted into her body.

"I can't wait to show you the cake. It's coconut with raspberry filling and everything's edible. I know what you think about inedible stuff on baked goods. Even the flowers are edible," Alex bragged as she gave me a quick lower back massage.

"There's flowers," I asked in a cheery tone.

"Of course there are. You know how I feel about you and flowers. I didn't use to get the whole compare my lover to a rose bullshit, then I met you and that was the only thing that could evoke the beauty, magic, and joy you bring into my monochrome world. Are you ready to see what we put together for you? Greet your guests?"

"They aren't going to play any stupid games, are they? I hated the baby shower Polly threw me for that," I explained as if I thought I actually had to.

"No safety pins and as a psychiatrist and women's health practitioner, I am extremely opposed to the measure the belly game. Although Nicky wanted the chocolate bar one, sorry. There's a celebrity twins game where you have to decide if a celebrity is a twin or has a set, baby picture identification game where we put all the pictures into the same filter so it wouldn't be too obvious and a few word games. Everybody's started a guessing game for the babies' stats. Names, birth dates, weights, that sort of stuff."

"Anybody get anything close?"

"Nope. They at least know we aren't the sort of couple that chooses Emma and Olivia or that kind of shit for our twins," Alex replied as she led me outside where everything was decorated in robin's egg blue, rose gold and shades of yellow and gold with old looking light wood and palm tree leaves along with tropical flowers and coconuts. She even had tiki torches and multicolored crepe paper flowers hanging on the trellis above the patio. Above the cake table was a brown banner that said "Welcome Vause Twins" in pink and gold with white hearts. There was a table with lemonade and nonalcoholic sangria in two large standing glass pitchers with macrons in every color of the rainbow along with rose gold and teal frosted cupcakes all with little pearls on top.

"Baby, I can't believe you did all this."

"It wasn't my idea."

"Yeah, all these things are so perfect because you didn't tell them everything I like."

"Just enjoy your party, babe," Alex told me as Diane came up to us with white sashes that said moms of twins in gold lettering with intertwined pink hearts.

"Do we have to wear these," I asked as Alex parroted my question.

"Be thankful they aren't worse. And yes. Do you like it, Piper?"

"I love it."

"I'm glad. Now you two sit, behave like the expectant moms you are and let me do the rest. Games start in an hour."

We spent the next hour sipping on nonalcoholic sangria while our friends came around and told us how happy they were for us and how amazing we would be. It was nice to be waited on and just be able to spend time relaxing with Alex while our worlds converged for the first time.

Even my mother behaved herself, although I caught her scowling a few times and complaining to my father about how there were too many lesbians and asking if I had straight friends. I wanted to ask if she had any gay ones but I knew it wouldn't have been beneficial so I focused on enjoying my day and the who could buy or make the cutest onesie contest, the winner was one that said "she blinded me with science," a nod to our love of music, Halloween and the debt we owed to modern reproductive medicine. We got more cute little pink outfits and hairbows than our girls would ever wear. Diane started telling embarrassing stories about Alex's babyhood and my mother even joined in towards the end. We laughed as everybody struggled through the games. Alex spent most of the party with her hand in my lap and kissing my cheek as she beamed. I had never felt happier or more loved than I did that day. As the party wore down, I knew I could make it through the next month.

After dinner, Diane took Geo back to her vacation rental but as she left with Geo in his dinosaur backpack in her arms Cal stopped her and asked to come and of course, Diane agreed but not before declaring, "How'd I end up with boys? I have no clue what to do with them."

"I wonder the same thing, mom. Piper didn't initially tell me her kid was a boy, it was a while before she did and I yelled some things then composed myself. Now, Momma loves her boy," she cooed as she placed her hand on our son's head, "You gonna be a good boy for Nana?"

"I wanna go poo' patty!"

"It's a grownup party, bud. Tomorrow maybe we can drive to Brooklyn and go to the boardwalk with Nana and Cal. You could go play in the ocean, which is way better than the pool. And you get to have a slumber party like a big boy," Alex asserted as she tried to negotiate with a toddler who got a few too many of my genes.

"Can I go to a real seepoder this summer," he asked her as he kicked against Diane's side.

"We'll see," she kissed him and then shot her mom a commanding glare that needed no words because it screamed 'take care of my little boy' before she grabbed a beer and rejoined our party. Nicky and Jess were checking the snack table while everybody else was splashing in the water and throwing beach balls around. I eventually jumped in when I could no longer take the sight of Alex wet in a skimpy black bikini that left nothing to the imagination and tongue fucking a beer bottle. It was just like the parties of my youth except everybody was already paired off and trying to hook up with their respective life partners.

"Hey, beautiful. Finally decide the water was fine?"

"Something like that," I teased as I kissed her and actually enjoyed the taste of stale beer on her lips.

"Is this about me or the alcohol?"

"Both, baby. I'm looking at two things I want nothing more than to drink."

"But you know you wouldn't. I mean unless you want to give your friends a master class on lesbian sex."

"Not such a bad idea but I know how much your masterclasses and keynotes cost and I don't think I can afford you."

"Oh, you can't. Interest fees are a bitch. You are in debt to me in perpetuity. Get comfy, babe."

"Funny, Smooshy. You having fun?"

"A bunch of toned queer women in bikinis, it's my wet dream coming true. And even better I get to hold my wife and see her with her sexy bump on full display."

"Is it really sexy?"

"Yeah, it is."

"If it wasn't from your babies would it still be?"

"With that face, definitely. I woulda been looking for the lucky bastard."

"You wouldn't have to look too far, you're literally the lucky bastard, Vause," I teased as Nicky walked by and chuckled.

"Are you calling me a bastard? Are you seriously calling me a bastard," Alex asked playfully as she swatted at my arm.

"Well, you are. I thought you'd have more problems with me calling you lucky than the indisputable fact in that phrase. You have a birth certificate with only a mother's name on it."

"What am I going to do with you?"

I placed her hand on my swollen belly, "I think you've done enough."

Alex just shook her head and kissed me as we watched our friends playing a pickup game of beach ball water polo while Alex whispered, "Your friends," Even though Nicky was out there making some good plays too. At midnight, Alex surprised me with a birthday cake and sparklers before the last guests left around 1:30 am and we stayed up the rest of the night watching movies in nothing but black tank tops in our bed until we fell asleep in each other's arms.


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: This chapter gets angsty...we have a return none of you asked for but hopefully you will love to hate to hate to love.  
**

A couple of weeks after our baby shower, I decided to sneak out of work to grab coffee for Alex and me by our favorite café near Artemis that we liked and had recently become trendy. We were still going into the City to the clinic one day a week, just to keep our sanity. Alex rarely let me out of her sight, to the point I had to beg to do a coffee run for us.

"Hey Harley," I hollered as I entered the nearly empty shop if I had looked at anyone other than the café's young queer owner I might have seen someone I used to know walk across the street but as always, I only noticed my friend who looked me up and down until I told her, "Go ahead, you can say it, I'm a house."

"How big are they now," she asked in a supportive, warm tone as she looked down at my bump, not that you could miss it if you tried.

"Big enough," I answered as I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth.

"I can't imagine having two kids period, let alone at once. You're getting close to the end though, right? I'm surprised they aren't here yet," she replied, I could tell she was trying to be supportive but she was a queer woman who didn't live in the world of queer mothers so she didn't know how wrong what she had just said was. Or at least that's what I reminded myself as I stood there starting to feel my anger bubbling up, or was it a foot and a bit of indigestion?

"Now that I want them to come already they are reminding me of all the times when they were tiny beans that I said I wanted to make it to thirty-seven weeks and I'm almost to thirty-six with no imminent signs of active labor. Can't say I'm surprised, this little girl was so unable to contain herself upon arrival in my womb that she split in two. I'm considering asking to be induced cause I'm tired of all the appointments and so uncomfortable, especially since baby A is so low. I never knew your cervix could hurt. Her head is right there, even Alex said so. She doesn't know how she hasn't managed to start active labor. I'm worried something is wrong or shell never choose to come vaginally. If baby B were the one against my cervix I'd have babies. But the thought of having a home birth at the beach house like I wanted before I found out there were two is still tempting," I declared as I opened myself up to her, hoping she would know I understood and appreciated her attempt at support.

"It is just one extreme or the other with you, isn't it? Either you want the most medicalized birth possible or the least one."

"Yeah. I'm just frustrated and every time I think I've accepted that this pregnancy isn't going the way I wanted it to from the start I realize I haven't and at this point won't. At least I have Alex, even if sometimes her pride at me having twin girls makes me want to kill her. I knew she always wanted a daughter, so I knew how she would be just sometimes I'm not sure which is better now that I've experienced a partner who behaved horribly to me having their baby and another who worships the ground I walk on and can't keep her hands off my belly. She doesn't think the solution to me complaining about how much pain I'm in is sticking her dick in me until I forget how swollen and sore I am like my ex did. By then I knew he wouldn't listen to me saying stop and I worried he might harm me or the baby so I just prayed for it to be over. My comfort never mattered when I was pregnant. He took it as an invitation to fuck me without a condom at his whim. I had something of his inside me so I belonged to him."

"Is she doing that," asked as if she didn't know how Alex doted on me in public. But it wasn't the first time someone questioned the public persona with me and the reputation of the woman I loved.

"She would if I asked her to and only if I ask, which I haven't in two, maybe three months and I kinda miss it. At first, I was worried about trying to carry these girls as long as possible and now I'm so huge I don't even know how it would work. And we haven't been alone since our babymoon nearly ten weeks ago," I explained.

"That was never stopped you two before," she said with a wink as she started preparing two cappuccinos with vanilla.

"Yeah, I know. I think we've fucked in your bathroom more than once."

"I've seen you two do more than that on your lunch dates and don't tell me you guys haven't. You two can't look at each other without eye-fucking," she said with a tinge of reverence.

"I think we're just so nervous about our kids, especially our girls. We want them all to be okay."

"So you forget to make sure you two are? It really is true that doctors make the worst patients. Here are your cappuccinos now go make sure your wife packs her dick in her suitcase. So, I'm guessing maternity leave starts Friday?"

"Yup. I get to have the annoying combo of wife and personal obstetrician following me around like she knows more about my uterus cause she put her baby in it. I love her but if these babies don't kill me first I might just kill her."

"Now, don't go and do that. I'd miss you both too much and orange isn't your color."

"Oh but ghostly pallor is so hers."

"I didn't say it!"

"I know you didn't, I did so you wouldn't have to."

"Love ya, bitch."

"Now is that any way to speak to your favorite customer?"

"I'll call the manager if you want to log a complaint but I sign her paychecks do it won't go very far. Come by when those babies get here."

"If they ever decide to come. They're pretty cozy in there and the doctor is always telling me how surprisingly great their placenta is. It feels like I'll be pregnant forever."

"That's nice, Piper, but I'm trying to run a food establishment and a customer talking about her placenta is not the way to sell pastries," she admonished me in her best manager voice.

"But I thought you didn't like being trendy," I fired back with playful sarcasm.

"You know if that cappuccino goes flat again your wife is gonna come in here spitting fire at everybody but the real culprit, cause her sweet Pipes is all beauty and innocence. And as flighty as a feather."

"And my wife likes that about me."

"She's the only one. Now, go."

I stepped outside and was instantly face to face with my ex-best friend for the first time in nearly a year and a half.

"Piper?"

"Polly," I replied curtly, neither of us moving in for a hug like we would have if things had ended differently between us. We didn't greet each other like we were ever even friends, let alone spent five years living together.

She eyed my tight dress that was straining to hold in my overly swollen breasts and belly, "Looks like you got over the whole Alex thing and pretty quickly I might add. I see a ring on your finger, I think NASA could see the ring on your finger. What did you do fuck one of those Wall Street financial types you claimed to loathe at the gym, get yourself knocked up and decide to marry him to stay in Carol's good graces?"

"Lovely story but why does me being pregnant mean I'm not with Alex?"

"Well, because last I checked, as good as her cock may be at pleasing women for whatever reason, it can't get them pregnant. And that's probably a good thing. The last thing the world needs is one little Alex Vause running around, let alone the army she would leave in the bellies of at least a dozen slutty bitches. Cause you'd have to be pretty desperate and self-hating to want that swamp thing Sasquatch to put a baby in you. A plastic cock is never the same. I mean I like my vibrator as much as the next woman but it's a stand-in when I can't get the real thing."

"But her eggs plus a little sperm sure can."

"I wasn't aware that diseased cunt still made eggs. And why would you want them if it did? They've probably got herpes all over them."

"Why is there this rumor that Alex has herpes?"

"Cause enough of her ex-lovers have it."

"Yes, her slutty exes who I guarantee have another common lover that isn't her," I replied as I stomped my foot as best I could and attempted to pivot my hip.

"Sure, Pipes. Keep telling yourself that. I don't have a problem with you dating a girl, just with dating a walking disease," she asserted.

"She's had things and I know what they are and it doesn't bother me," I told her in a cool, confident tone that was all Alex but somehow coming out of me.

"And I'm sure she told you every single one before you rubbed your pussies together or whatever you do in bed with women and hopefully never tried to do while we were sleeping in the same bed."

"For someone who just claimed to have no problem with my desire for other women you sure seem to have some issues."

"It's weird! You knew you liked girls from the time you were like twelve and you never told me before you helped me change and saw my breasts and we snuggled under the same blanket."

"I loved you like a sister and your tits aren't that good looking. I loved you so much but I can have different types of love for different women. Don't you have straight male friends?"

"Well, yeah but it's not the same. I wouldn't let them see me nearly naked or share an intimate moment with them."

"I can share intimacy with women in both sexual and nonsexual forms. Now that I have Alex and I'm growing our daughters I finally see just how much of a gift that is to be able to share every possible relationship between females," I answered as I subconsciously rubbed my belly and didn't notice until I heard Polly smugly ask, "So that's a little she-devil in there then? Is that thing in your belly even human? Like how pregnant are you? A year? I thought demonic mutant DNA made pregnancies shorter? How many little demons are in there? Or do you even know?"

"Two girls who look just like their beautiful mother."

"I don't know, I'd be asking for a second opinion if I were you cause I've seen women pregnant with twins and you are bigger than any of them. Are you sure there isn't another baby in there?"

"Uhm, yeah. We've had enough ultrasounds and we only put in one embryo, so I wouldn't be this pregnant or at least not walking around if I were carrying identical triplets. They are just off the growth charts for singletons, let alone twins. I'm ready for them to come already. I'm tired of being poked and prodded like a pregnant sow. I want to get back to feeling like this pregnancy is magical so I can enjoy the last few weeks of carrying these girls."

"The way you said that makes me think you plan on doing this again."

"Well, we have sixteen more embryos and evidently I'm good at getting pregnant, the doctors told me I had a perfect uterus, just Larry is bad at his part. Those swimmers are as worthless and lazy as he is."

"I'm still shocked he got you pregnant at all. And you know it wasn't his fault. Women were not meant to be athletes. And you were totally an anorexic alcoholic, cause of course you always have to do Carol one better. You took her alcoholism and raised it with anorexia. I was so certain the DNA test would come back and he wouldn't be the dad. I still say that kid looks and acts nothing like him. I still don't think it's his and neither does Pete. Larry even told Pete once he didn't think it was his, from the first time he saw him. He didn't look like him and Larry said he never felt the pull he thought he would when he had a son. But his parents convinced him if it was his that he had rights and should fight for them before you could take him forever."

"Well, he's gone now and that boy is a mini-Alex in personality and interests. He loves science and books like her and he's so smart. And Alex loves him so much."

"Yeah, I heard Larry went underground for a while. Guess he went on an enlightenment adventure and tried to sell the story, Pete heard about it. He can't get over you leaving him for a woman."

"I didn't leave him for her. I left him because I wanted the best for myself. I wanted more than he could ever give me and I knew I deserved it and so did my son. And there were people in between. I didn't owe either of you my truth a second before I was ready to tell it, no matter how much either of you thinks that I did. I told you both when I was ready. It's not about either of you. I wish I had come out sooner. I wish I'd been couragous enough to tell you when we were in our dorm room our first semester at Smith sharing our secrets over a bottle of tequila we stole from a liquor store but I didn't. I wish I had come out sooner so maybe I would have had more time with Alex, so I might have met her sooner. But of course, I could have met her the second I knew I liked girls and that still wouldn't have been soon enough."

"Or legal."

"Or that. You know I wish things had gone differently. And you could have seen Alex for the woman she is, not the things people say about her."

"Are any of the rumors true?"

"A few of them."

"The one about her being a former whore?"

"You mean sex worker?"

"I'll never call them that. It's not a career."

"Would it really matter? I know the truth and it's not my story to tell. Just know some people do choose that life and they do so for a variety of reasons. Be thankful you've never been in a situation where you felt that your body was all you had to get your basic needs met so you could survive and maybe achieve your dreams without going into debt."

"Whatever she did, it looks like she's doing good for herself. I still don't know how she can afford that ring on a doctor's salary."

"Her hobbies are investing in biotech, pharmaceuticals and real estate in New England college and beach towns. And we're branching out to Florida with her investment firm, opening an office in Jacksonville next year. Medicine is pocket change compared to the money she gets from her investments. And she's a preeminent scholar in her field so she makes a killing on consulting, honorariums and writing. Plus, she just got tenure and a job as director of LGBT medicine for NYU-Langone Medical School and they're looking at expanding her position to oversee the entire NYU hospital/clinic system, possibly even across all five boroughs."

"So none of it came from playing cards? Or drugs?"

"Cards, yes. Drugs, depends. Illegal drugs, no. Legal ones, in a way that exists in a very fuzzy area."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"It paid for a mansion in Great Neck with cash and bought me a Mercedes and a Range Rover, so, no."

"I don't even know who you are anymore. You aren't the same sweet little wide-eyed Connecticut girl I met over a decade ago at Smith. I don't like what that woman has done to you. She's got you living this edgy, high flying lifestyle and she's done everything to make you dependent on her. What happens when you've served your purpose? You know a woman like that is incapable of real love. People serve a purpose to her and once they've served their purpose she thinks nothing of throwing them away like yesterday's paper."

"Well, guess it's a good thing my purpose is to pleasure her and remind her that she is a woman with the same needs as any other."

"And she's not planning on putting eggs in you until she runs out? Who's the daddy or donor, whatever you dykes call the father of your children that negates the existence of the man who created your child's existence. But I guess you're good at that. You already did it once when you were straight. It wasn't enough to take that kid from Larry, you had to take him from his paternal grandparents who loved him too? Make it so he could never have any contact with his paternal side? Just because Alex is fine with not knowing her father or his family doesn't mean Geo will be the same way."

"We want a big family. I don't love being pregnant all the time but I love seeing my babies' faces and feeling them kick and move inside me. I'd do it a dozen times just to feel that moment of bliss, especially now that I have someone I want to share those moments with, someone who makes me feel loved and beautiful when I don't and besides the world could use a few more red-headed, green-eyed babies to up the average. And Geo can choose to contact Larry or his family whenever he wants, they just can't contact him, us or anyone connected to us at any point, even after Geo turns eighteen."

"So why a redhead? I would have thought you would have gone for a donor who resembled you."

"Cause the embryos are older than our son."

"What? I don't get it."

"She froze her eggs in her mid-thirties and because she planned on raising her baby by herself she chose a donor that was basically her type physically but had the inner traits she secretly desired and then I came along and one night after a fight she told me about them, nobody knew at that point. Not even Nicky or mom. Her ex didn't know. It wasn't even in her medical records and she paid cash for everything under a fake name. She didn't want anyone to know and she still doesn't really. Only the people we're closest to even know our children's genetic background and how they came to be is really nobody's business. We don't broadcast it but if somebody asks a direct question we'll give them a direct answer."

"Oh yeah there's nothing to be suspicious about with her. That's so weird. Do your parents know these aren't their granddaughters?"

"They are their grandchildren. They've come to see that love not biology makes a family from watching Alex with Geo and seeing how my face lights up when I talk about carrying Alex's babies or give them an update. They are hands-off about the pregnancy part but that's their way. They've never once said these kids weren't part of the family and Celeste one hundred percent considers these kids Chapmans and since she's in charge of the family and its money, her say is the only one that matters. Now, I really have to get back to my wife before she gets worried. I hope someday you can learn to be less narrow-minded and fake. I really do hate people like you who think they're so progressive but really are no different from our parents' generation. You never really do anything daring. You're always chasing the next fad and judging the neighbors like our parents did except from Brooklyn, which people like you have turned into another Manhattan suburb. I'm fighting for something and fighting against something. Yeah, I'm still a suburban doctor's wife but I've found a way to do it without sacrificing a part of myself. I'm a proud bisexual athlete, a mother and married to the love of my life. And she loves me like I never thought anybody ever would and never tries to clip my wings or put me into a box. Even better, through her, I've found a group of people who love me and Geo the same way she does. I have a good life and someday you are going to see that your choice to let your small-mindedness and need to fit into some ideal get in the way of being a part of the amazing life I've built over the past nearly two years that doesn't include you is the worst choice you ever made. But I won't be here to forgive you. I hope someday you can see past the surface level of someone who doesn't share your childhood and familial background. That you can love someone for their heart. But I don't think you ever will. And it no longer hurts," I said as I turned and walked away before she could respond, hoping that I could walk the two blocks to Artemis before the dam broke and she could figure out I was bluffing about the last part. I meant every word before it but that last sentence was the WASP who was taught not to cry in front of anyone. To bury it alone after the kids were in bed with a hidden bottle above the fridge. Besides, I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of Polly seeing me fall apart. All I could think as I walked as fast as I could with forty extra pounds on my thin frame was I have to get to Alex.

I got in and banged in the door code as fast as possible as I sucked in as much air as my lungs would allow me to and blinked back the tears that were threatening to explode from my eyes.

"Hey, College, what's wrong," Nicky declared from her spot at the front desk.

"What? Why? Where?"

"Nice to see you too. Good to know I'm still second best to both of you. Heaven forbid that changed. Keely stepped out for lunch and I was supposed to have a client but I think at this point she's a no-show again. And it looks like somebody needs my services more. C'mon, I'll bill the wife later."

"Where is Alex?"

"You're starting to sound like a broken record, other Vause. I'm offering to help you but you don't care."

"I just really need my wife right now."

"Well, she's on a conference call but I'll page her and in the meantime, we can step into my office and discuss why you are trembling in the lobby looking like your legs are about to give out from underneath you. C'mon, you know I love you. Besides, if you are this messed up it'll probably be better for all three of us if I can help soften the blow with the wife, cause you know how she is."

"Yeah."

"C'mon I'll help you upstairs. I'm amazed you're still waddling around with all that baby shit in your belly."

"Me too," I answered as I took Nicky's arm and let her guide me into her office and help me onto my side on the couch.

"You want some water," she asked as she grabbed two cans of lemon Pellegrino from her mini-fridge behind her desk.

"Yeah, but do you have regular water? These girls have not been fans of Mommy having carbonation lately."

"Yeah cause there's not enough room for the two of them plus gas in your abdominal cavity."

"Quit it, Nicky! I'm really not in the mood for your teasing right now. I thought you wanted to listen."

"Yeah, I do. Sorry, I just don't get why a queer woman would want to be pregnant. I always thought one of the pluses of fucking chicks was that it is the one guaranteed way to have all the sex you want, whenever you want without becoming a mother."

"Evidently I did it wrong, cause my girlfriend got me pregnant quicker than my boyfriend did and if I didn't have a kid already I would have let her get me pregnant way sooner."

"Tell me something we don't all know."

"Well, not everybody knows that part, just you."

"I feel so special. So what happened? Did some lost asshole forget that the Village is still the gayborhood even after all these years of the straights tryna push the queers out with their preschools and boutiques?"

"I ran into Polly."

"Oh, shit. That is nuclear. Now I apologize for my teasing."

"Wow, you, apologize?"

"Yeah, you're the lucky fucker who gets to hear Vause whisper sweet nothings into your ear and hear Nichols say I'm sorry. Enjoy your life in the quite literal lap of luxury. So just how much of a bitch was she on a scale of one to cunt?"

"What's beyond cunt?"

"Oh, wow. I don't even know but if anybody could manage to be that big of a cuntface bitch it would be her. Fuckin' shit, sometimes I want to go down to Brighton Beach and use what little Russian I know to take care of that little bitch once and for all. I didn't think anyone in existence could be worse than Silvia. She was just angry and not completely unjustifiably so. But she also acted like she was the only one who knew what it felt like to fall deeply in love with Alex Vause, see how wonderful she is and not have those feelings returned to the same level. Hello, I exist too and Vause actually did say she loved me but she wasn't satisfied by me. We're both tops, that would never work. And she was too chicken shit to say I want kids and respect that you don't and never will, whether biologically or not. I don't get it but I would have helped her shoot herself up with hormones and held her hand through the tests and retrieval. Held her through the failed cycles. And I wasn't ready for the level of seriousness she wanted and I'm still not. I'm not sure I ever will be. But don't tell Lorna that, she has a freaking Bora Bora wedding vision board and I want to want to be on it."

"Geez, and they say I'm the self-obsessed one."

"Yeah comes with the territory, Jewish money and Protestant money is still the same horrid shade of green. Now what did the bitch say."

"Where to start? You wanna hear what she said about Alex, me, our daughters or our son?"

"Begin at the beginning. What rumors bled out of the Park Slope dyke community into Breederville this time?"

"Nothing new. The same old tired one about her having herpes."

"Ha, that dead horse? She had shingles in med school and it's reoccurred a couple of times since. It's not the same herpes. Ridiculous cunts. I mean there's plenty of worthy rumors one could start about Vause but that isn't one."

"Yeah like she's all soft and melty center? And she can build a damn good Hot Wheel track and explain the physics behind it so good it makes our son forget about the cars he wanted to play with. They'll spend hours just building tracks that never see a car. Alex has already pulled out a bunch of experiments from her physics courses cause he has a natural aptitude for it."

"Those would be preferable but you know she'd never let anybody know just how soft and fragile she is. That couldn't have been it cause we've laughed together over that rumor since if anyone was gonna get herpes from Vause it would be us, cause nobody including Silvia has slept with her more times than we have and been allowed to do the things we have."

"Yeah, don't remind me."

"I could say the same thing about your swollen belly courtesy of Vause, reminding me what fucking her has the power to do."

"Well, this didn't come from just taking her cock on the right night. Although she did fuck be like she knew she was about to put a baby in me."

"Yeah but she still stuck something in your vagina that I don't want her sticking in mine but she could have. I can imagine her being all, 'hey, girl let me put my baby in you' as she's pounding your pussy and telling you how good you're making her dick feel, working you to the point of no return, until it's too good to ever let her pull out of your fertile cunt until she's filled you up with everything she has."

"Are you saying if she hadn't met me and you found out about the embryos you would have?"

"Between us, as long as she promised to take the little bastard off my hands the moment it was cut out and it never sees my tits, yeah cause that's what a real best friend and sister does."

"I know Polly would never have had a baby for me if I had been in Alex's position. Hell, Polly would never have had a baby for herself if she didn't have this never-ending need to compete with me and do whatever I did."

"Except bringing home chicks."

"Oh, she brought plenty of girls home just not for the same reason. She never did figure out why I only ever had one girl at a time over and when I did we spent most of our time in my room. She even once said she didn't understand why I only ever had girls spend the night in my room or that she would never let a sober girl sleep in her bed."

"Yeah, I'm still not buying the whole bisexual thing."

"I have crushes on both, even if I'm more attracted to feminine energy."

"Okay, you lez. So what else did Polly say about our favorite subject?"

"She said she heard Alex was a whore because I guess it's gotten around that she did sex work."

"Pardon me, I have to go order a prison hit. Cause somebody broke our deal and knows the consequences," Nicky said in a tone I wasn't sure if it was sarcastic or a real threat. "She better hope her ass never gets out of prison, she's safer in than out where we can get to her," Nicky added.

"Yeah, cause you could take a life?"

"And you could?"

"For Alex or you and if it were one of the cuntiest of the cunts I could and I would. The world would be a better place if those two pieces of primordial ooze weren't in it. But Alex and Red need me around, of course, they say it's to help run their respective businesses but we both know that's bullshit. Those are two stoic, powerful women who aren't used to having anybody else meet their needs. They've had to fight and build everything they have with hard work and persistence. Nobody helped them, they've had a series of lucky breaks, but they've helped plenty of scared young women have better lives. So we have the herpes and whore rumors taken care of, what else did she have to say? What could have hurt you so much cause so far everything she's said is shit we've laughed about when nobody is around."

"Well, she assumed that I dumped Alex and proceeded to fuck a rich dude who got me pregnant at the first available opportunity so I decided to marry him. She knows I'd never marry someone just cause they got me pregnant, she was there more than once when Larry tried to get me to marry him. So I told her I was having Alex's twin daughters and that really set her off."

"Yeah, it seems every time I go to the bars lately I hear some chick talking about how another one of Vause's paramours has gotten herself knocked up and how she needs to stop fucking fresh meat. I think if they knew the truth it would really make things boil over."

"Oh, but it would make for such a fun New York Pride."

"And Vause would hate it."

"But we'd love it."

"You are one twisted little creature but you tickle me and you make Vause more palatable so I love ya. Continue. Vause should be down soon."

"She couldn't believe that Alex could afford to buy the ring on my finger and she said that Alex's money must come from cards and illicit drugs. She loves to play poker and as long as she knows when to fold and she's still an attentive partner I don't care. She's smart with her money, she knows how to spin straw into gold. She said she didn't even know who I was anymore and that I wasn't the same person. Because I don't really care how the bills get paid as long as they get paid and I don't think my kids need a father in their lives. And she had the nerve to blame it on Alex and claim I stole Geo away from his father and paternal grandparents."

"The ones who abused you and him? People like the three of them don't deserve people as wonderful and sweet as you and my little nephew. I know some things about Larry's parents that I don't even think either of you do. You forget me and him come from the same pond, as much as I shudder at the thought, I just tell myself he comes from the swampier end. My dad knows Larry's and had some things to say. I didn't tell him why I asked if he knew of the Bloom family. And it wasn't good. They think they're well-liked but everybody talks about how worthless their son is. At least people have forgotten my junkie past or when I was the kept girl of a rich older woman who had sex with half of Manhattan then came home to her little plaything now that I got my life together and I'm that woman's sister and best friend instead of her toy. Nobody likes the Blooms and they really don't like their only child."

"Why are you and Alex still friends? Why did you two survive so much shit and my closest friendship, the sisterhood I found couldn't survive an open secret coming to light when I was ready? She's seriously mad that I didn't tell her the first semester of college when we got drunk and shared our deepest secrets, or she did anyway. I didn't tell her but I didn't really think I had to when some tall hot older girl was wearing nothing but my t-shirt lying in my bed earlier that morning," I asked as I changed the subject from Larry back to a subject I actually was curious about.

"You know that wasn't the truth. You told her but back then you didn't know the words in your head for the things you felt in your heart."

"I had the words just I was no better at saying them then Alex was at asking me out on a date when she knew she was falling for me."

"You both have your hang-ups and your traumas. But it looks like you've both gotten over them judging from the belly full of baby you've got under your dress that I've seen you wear every day for the last nine days."

"You try finding clothes that fit when you're measuring at 41 weeks pregnant."

"That's a problem that shall remain uniquely yours," she told me as she smoothed her hands through my hair and kissed my forehead.

"Well, well. Still tryna steal my girls, Nicks," Alex exclaimed as she leaned against the door frame.

"Hey, Vause. How long have you been there, " Nicky gulped.

"Long enough. So why are you playing with my wife's hair and kissing her?"

"Cause she's my sister and I was trying to comfort her until you got here. Believe me, I want no part in this," she circled my bump with her belly, and I chuckled as I recalled her secret confession she made moments earlier, "I'll play auntie but the second they need a diaper change I'm handing them off to the closest person around who participated in making them. Believe me, she came in here still asking for you even after I told her I was free but you weren't. That girl only has eyes for you. Now focus, Boss. Your heavily pregnant wife is a soggy mess and needs her wife."

I watched Alex grab a box of Kleenexes as she crossed the room to the sofa where I was lying on Nicky's lap with tears staining my cheeks before kneeling on the floor in front of me and looking into my eyes as I completely burst open the second the pads of her fingers touched my skin.

"Your…your coffee got cold an...an...and is pro-lly flat now."

"You think I care? Babe, I love my coffee but I love you more. What's wrong?"

"Polly, " I barely squeaked out.

"I thought she was ancient history, " Alex stated as she rubbed my arm and I collapsed deeper into her embrace.

"She is. But she saw me at the coffee shop. She thought I went back to men cause I'm obviously very pregnant and when she found out I was still with you she got vicious and said some awful things. She called you a disease and basically said I was carrying the spawn of Satan. And that I hurt Larry cause I stole Geo from his family and just because you don't see the need for a connection with your paternal side doesn't mean he won't. And she said I was a totally different person because I like having nice things and a woman who adores and cherishes me. It hurts so much. Have I changed? Money and status didn't use to matter but now that I have it, I like my life and I'd do anything to keep it. She thinks it should bother me that you're all into sex both personally and professionally or that you like to play cards. That I shouldn't want to be with someone who is so in command of her sexuality and free with it or who has made a fortune through some morally grey dealings. And I still think she's got some sort of jealousy or anger or resentment because I didn't tell her about my sexuality ten years before I did. She thinks I lied to her for ten years and also that I'm still lying about this person I now being the truest version of Piper. Like, make up your mind cause I can't be lying both times. And I never said I didn't like girls. I just didn't think I owed her anything when I was trying to enjoy what I was certain would be the only chance in my life to have anything resembling intimacy with another woman. And I knew or thought I did, that I'd always have Polly and for a while I tried to be like normal girls and convince myself that was enough and then I'd see a pretty girl and my adolescent hormones would take over and I'd find myself wanting to feel her body close to mine and I was reminded that I could never be that girl I wanted to be. I don't know how to get her to understand that pain. That fight. To really imagine what truly going against the grain of the world we were raised to inherit. I figured I'd just be one of those secretly bisexual women who found joy from her kids and husband who didn't even know his wife checked out girls more than she did guys and didn't care that he didn't want sex very often."

"I still don't understand why straight people think we owe them anything. Like she should have been first to find out. Yeah, cause she woulda been so cool with it, " Alex said sarcastically as she held me tight and my hand grasped her shirt with all its strength.

"You chose the person you felt safest with telling first, " Nicky added.

"Yeah, I guess," I teased as Alex smiled while giving me the glare she saved only for me, the one that said, 'Piper, you're adorable but cut it out, now,' before kissing me until I gave into her attempts to make it steamy.

"Well, that's my cue. You got this messy little soggy ball of cuteness?"

"Yeah. I got her, Nicks. Thanks for making me aware I had one to deal with and for helping."

"Just do me a favor, Vause, and don't fuck your wife on my couch."

"I haven't even fucked my wife on any of my couches in months, so I think yours is safe."

"Yeah we need to change that," I said weakly as Nicky rolled her eyes, sighed loudly and closed the door, "Come up here." Alex teasingly started to sit at my feet as she had done for weeks, daring me to be more explicit about where I wanted her. "Not there."

"What you suddenly stop enjoying getting your feet rubbed," she teased as she slipped off my heels, "I mean c'mon you're lucky to be married to someone who knows all the places to touch and not to and when you're nervous knows how to use a heart monitor, feel for positioning of multiples or check your cervix."

"Oh, I do love it. It's just not where I want you."

"Oh, and where would that be, sweetheart?"

"I want my head between your legs preferably without your black slacks and that red thong I saw you put on this morning but you think I didn't. I know you've been wearing thongs every day lately but you don't think I know. As if we don't get dressed and undressed together."

"Oh, I knew you knew, I was just waiting for you to do something about it because I'm not going to stoop to the level of what you think you have to accept in life, I always told you I would never force you to do anything and I know what you went through and how that scarred you."

"Before I ran into Polly I was talking to Harley about how much I missed your cock."

"So you can tell every other woman around us but me how you're really feeling, is that any way to start a marriage?"

"Harley is our friend and you know it's still hard for me to talk about that."

"But you can do it in public, just not our bedroom where such topics are completely appropriate."

"What can I say we can both be a pussy sometimes when it comes to big things. I spent so long with the doctors telling me I couldn't and you not saying anything to the contrary and now that we can, well I don't even want to see myself naked and I can't imagine you would be able to get it up with this oversized belly in the way."

"Oh, I totally can."

"But we promised Nicky."

"Yes. C'mon if any two chicks could figure it out would be us. Unless...it's not what you want," she teased with a look that burned through me worse than any heartburn her daughters had caused me over the past eight and a half months.

"Is that really how you wanna waste your last moments of peace before we become mothers of three?"

"You have a better idea?"

"As long as at some point I get to ride your cock and maybe fuck your tits, not really."

"God I'd let you do that right now," Alex teased as she unbuttoned her collared white shirt and revealed her breasts spilling out of her red and black lace bra like they did when they were aroused.

"But-"

"Wouldn't be the first time and besides I can just buy her another couch and it's not like we're gonna get cum on her couch so she'll never know."

"I'm a mess and I know you're only offering me your tits to distract me and make me feel better."

"No, I'm doing it because I want to. I could always get mad at you for not following a simple command and delivering my coffee and punish you by plunging your head into my tits, force you to titty-fuck me as punishment if that's what it takes. Since you seem to be focusing on all the wrong things."

"It's so hard," I hesistantly reached out my fingertips to push her wisps of hair that were spilling out of her messy bun behind her shoulders.

"Try for me," she responded as she ran her fingers along the black and red lace, making it impossible to focus on anything else. With a little help and asking few times "are you sure I'm not crushing the shit out of your legs," I climbed onto her lap and pulled her shirt off, followed closely by her bra before my tongue danced along her neck, shoulders and down her chest until I arrived at her breasts and my fingers found enough space between us to unbutton her pants without having to look and rubbed her clit while her moans filled the room despite her best efforts to hold them back.

"And I'm the noisy one," I teased when I finally let go of her marzipan nipples and kissed that spot where her cleavage started that I loved so much and had only ever known my mouth as she sighed.

"I think you need some more pointers on that."

"Why Alex Vause, are you saying you want to fuck my preggo tits that are slowly starting to make milk for our children?"

"Hell yes. And you are the kinky little thing that wants it as much as I do."

"You are such a nasty woman."

"And yet you're still here."

"Yeah, 'cause there's nowhere else I wanna go right now," I teased as I pulled my tits out of my wrap dress with it's plunging neckline as Alex's eyes became as big as saucers, which incidentally was also the size of my darkened nipples, "You think you know more about pleasuring tits than I do then welcome to the landmines that are my overly sensitive, swollen tits. Have fun, don't cause me pain and don't you dare make these babies have their birthday before mine it'll be the last time I let you play with my tits."

"Don't worry, I'm a professional. I know everything there is to know about women and their bodies."

"Then prove it."

"Are you challenging me, are you…challenging…me?"

"Usually that is why one says 'then prove it.'"

"You know how I am with challenges."

"I have no clue. Remind me what happens when a horny, hormonal Piper challenges your dominance."

"That's a lot of talk for a woman in your current condition," she teased as she pushed up my skirt, "No panties?"

"Yeah and if I told you why you wouldn't want to fuck me anymore, maybe ever."

"I know why and look at my finger," she teased as she swiped between my legs and leaned in to kiss me with both passion and reassurance as her lips and fingers moved lower in tandem and she wrapped her other arm around my back to steady me as she made love to me and I left a stain on her slacks but she just laughed and said, "oh, well. It was totally worth it. Let's go home. "

"You really wanna do that? But work."

"I don't have patients or students and any work I do have I can do from anywhere. I'm supposed to have been on full maternity leave for a week already anyway. Let's go home and cuddle. Naked."

"I will never say no to that proposal. C'mon preggo, I guess I'll help you up since I got you into this state and all."

"Now, you're just trying to get to me but I know you're fooling around, so it won't work," I responded as I watched her spray air freshener before we slowly walked down the stairs and to our black Range Rover. I knew that I was sadder for Polly than I was for me because she would never see the two women who took me in and gave me so much love until I couldn't help but love every bit of myself, even if I was imperfect. No matter what they loved me unconditionally.


	66. Chapter 66

_July 2__nd__ 11:00 am_

I had somehow managed to arrive at thirty-seven weeks pregnant despite my discomfort and constantly feeling like I could burst at any moment for weeks. Every time I was certain that I couldn't get any bigger, I would wake up in the morning and notice my midsection had ballooned yet again overnight. At this point I didn't even know where I was putting them which made the incessant questions every time that I left the house that much more annoying. Explaining why you don't have a husband when you have one baby wreaking havoc on your bladder and another your lungs was a level of hell beyond any previously described imagining of hell throughout history. I had worked through enough shit over the last two years with my sexuality and strong attraction to a very specific and very strong, beautiful older woman that it didn't truly affect me much more than a thorn in my finger would. I just had no patience or time to educate other people on why having my female lover's babies was a positive thing for the world who would never see it. I didn't want to be anybody's token queer female friend. I had done enough of that with Polly.

Diane had arrived the night before and Cal was coming after work for Fourth of July weekend. I had a scheduled induction on July 8th but was hoping the babies would be born before Cal left on the 6th. But of course, Baby A had laughed at my plans from the moment she was implanted into my uterus and decided what she really needed was a wombmate. She seemed to enjoy causing me pain. Or punishing us for thawing two embryos and implanting the better of the two because the conservative Protestantism of my girlhood could still easily kick up strength at times.

Lately, my round ligament pain had been severe and my legs barely able to handle the weight low in my belly. I had eleven pounds, give it take a few ounces, of baby alone in my uterus and they weren't doing anything but hanging out at this point. Diane suggested we use this opportunity to go to Target and get lunch while we still could. To use this time to make sure we were ready to hunker down at home with our babies. She had a point, once we officially became mothers of three it might be months or even years before we could go on a proper date. The store was of course out of electronic scooters so I was forced to attempt waddling. We were wandering through the cosmetics section when a woman recognized us.

"Are you that couple that moved to the house in Knight's Point? The one on Spruce Way?"

"Yeah," Alex answered as she draped an arm around my swollen belly and raised her eyebrow like a jaguar ready to strike if she felt her family was being threatened.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to scare or offend you. Sure, some people aren't thrilled about having a gay couple in a family neighborhood but you're not all that different. You are just parents trying to send your kids to the best public schools and save that money for extracurriculars and college. I'm Marlena."

"Alex, and this is my wife, Piper. I'm still getting used to saying that. I'm barely used to saying my son and that one still doesn't feel right sometimes cause legally he isn't mine. Only Piper could sign him up for school and extracurriculars. I have to be on his paperwork as a trusted adult and allowed custodian to pick him up. I hate every second of it and can't wait until he is officially mine."

"You mean you two didn't have him together? I've seen you out for bike rides and at the park with that kid, I never would have known you hadn't been there from conception. Some people in town have actually wondered if Piper's the nanny. Probably more because she looks too young to have a kid his age than anything else."

"That's hilarious. I was always worried people would think I was the nanny. Cause he looks nothing like me."

"But he sure acts just like you and you have that thing. That maternal essence," she told Alex before turning her attention to me, "Looks like you are overcooked, Piper. Guess that's why we haven't seen much of you since you guys moved into the neighborhood."

"Yeah. Today was my due date with our twins."

"Wow and you are up and out of the house? I have got to take some lessons from you in being a fearless badass mama."

"I'd like to take the credit but it was the OG badass mama, my mother-in-law, Diane, who suggested we go on a date since the babies are coming anytime in the next six days. Our c-section is scheduled for the 8th. Originally, I was going to be induced on the 6th but I decided that it made more sense to not take that risk if they didn't come on their own. I'm worried about my next pregnancy of course but I have to do what's best for these babies and accept that I may never have another vaginal birth and may never get the midwife birth I wanted."

"You want more," she asked in a shocked tone that I was used to at this point. The maximum most women, especially those of the educated and career-oriented variety, wanted was three, some of the trophy wives idealized the idea of four or knew that as long as they were pregnant or had a child on their hip they would be venerated as saints for choosing to stay home with the kids while their husband concentrated all his efforts on his career.

"Yeah. We have the embryos and all the things children need. Alex loves kids and she's an amazing mother, she makes me want a ton of kids."

"Or six," Alex admonished with a playful nudge as she stole a kiss on my cheek. Not that she ever had to steal those or that she could steal something I would always willingly give freely.

"Yeah that's kinda similar to why I have three. I had my boy first and I was good but seeing him as a dad made me want another, so we had our first daughter and he doted on her. One day he asked me what I thought of adoption, we discussed it and became foster parents. One of his old friends' cousins had a little girl she couldn't care for and asked us to take her. And she completed us. I didn't use to get gay families until I went through the licensing classes and every gay couple raised their hands when they asked who would take a medically fragile child without hesitation. They just want to be parents and that's all that matters. So I stopped caring about the hows of it too. They have more love to give than most. I'm just up the street from you if you need anything. I know some of the moms and the women at my church often organize meal trains for families, Wed be glad to organize one for you. Just let us know and if there's any special diets," she asked with that look women gave me when they thought progressive queer feminist automatically meant vegan but they were too chicken to ask their actual question and reveal their deeply flawed, stereotypical thinking about queer lives, "We do a block party on the 4th and there's a parade a couple of towns over that a bunch of us carpool to, if you'd like I could pick up Geo and take him. My nephew will be in town and he's about your son's age."

"Thanks. My mom is here for the summer, luckily, she works for me in my investment firm but I might take you up on some meals. I'm sure she'll get tired and a little help won't hurt. We have a mother's helper for our son until the first week of August so we might need some coverage the two weeks in between," Alex replied as she saw me becoming increasingly uncomfortable. She flashed me a quick smile as she subtly rubbed my tailbone under my drawstring shorts and stretched out threadbare tank top.

"Let me know," Marlena declared as she made eye contact towards some spot off-center from us. I was used to that too, the type who wanted to say they were cool with gay equality because that seemed to be the direction society as a whole was moving in and god forbid they failed to swim against the stream. Every encounter I had with that type of woman made me grateful that two years ago I had chosen to stop trying to be something I was never truly meant to be, for the day I permanently declared my independence from that shit after a revolution of my own, "We should trade numbers!"

"Yeah so you can send me a Facebook invite and scam me with some MLM? My wife doesn't seem too fond of you which means neither am I. Happy wife, happy life whole deal to put it in language you might be able to comprehend."

"Okay then, be that way. I was just trying to be neighborly."

"Since when was love the sinner, hate the alleged sin considered neighborly?"

"We have a certain lifestyle in our community, standards of conduct you might call them, that we pride ourselves on upholding and it never works out very well for those who fight it."

"We paid cash for one of the most expensive houses on the market. We aren't going anywhere. We moved here to raise our family in a place with good schools where we could let them play outside whenever they wanted without worrying. That's where us being just like you ends and we don't want to fit into your ideas that you think are so much more evolved. A tail is a tail no matter its length. Now, my wife really shouldn't be on her feet this long so we have to go now," she told Marlena who pushed her cart in a huff before Alex whispered in my ear, "hungry, babe," as if she didn't know everything those words did to me every time. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of her pick-up line making me wet and bite my lip to maintain some hold on my physical body but I couldn't resist her.

"You know two things are always guaranteed lately, I'm famished and I have to pee."

"Well, why don't you go to the bathroom then wait in the car while I check out and we'll go get lunch wherever you want. Maybe we can even drive to the beach if you're up to it."

"Our items had better be the only thing you check out."

"C'mon, babe, you know I only have eyes for you my dear."

"Prove it," I replied as I kissed her, slowly working the tip of my tongue into her mouth before pulling away, leaving her with an emotion only I could elicit from her, longing. Alex didn't say anything, she didn't have to. She dug her keys out of her purse, wiggled the silver key ring down her finger until it hit her wedding ring and let me take them from her. "Call me if you need anything," I heard her lovingly state as I walked away from her.

_July 2__nd__ 3:00 pm_

After a relaxing lunch and rejuvenating conversation, we headed across town to the ocean side of Long Island. We walked hand in hand barefoot on the sand and it was all sweet until Alex pulled out her phone and sneakily snapped a picture. Other than at my baby shower, I hadn't let anyone take my picture in weeks or maybe even months at this point. Until two weeks ago, I had taken my bump pictures every week but never included my face, just my swollen abdomen and even then it was more because I knew Alex wanted them. I didn't really ever want to remember being nearly two hundred pounds. Or as Alex said, one-eighty. As if that was somehow better.

"What the fuck, Alex, " I snapped with words full of venom.

"Babe, settle down. I just took a picture. You looked so beautiful."

"You need to get your eyes checked if you think this is beautiful! I hate everything about this body! I can't even call it mine anymore! I'm just an incubator and for what? My body never fails in a race but everywhere else it lets me down. The baby I should have held in or never even made in the first place I can't and now I get to my due date and am forced to face that my body will never do anything about this pregnancy naturally. I guess that's what I get for playing God. Delete the picture! Now!"

"No. I won't. This might be the last picture you have of this pregnancy, that we have, before these girls get here. And you'll want it someday and knowing you, you'll bring it up probably more than once over the hopefully decades we get together. You are so close to bringing these independent, fierce girls into the world, your body is ready and so are they. I can tell," Alex explained as doctor and wife melded into one perfectly.

"Will you tell baby A to stop being so damn ornery and just be born already? I want to hold them. I want my body back or at least some semblance of it back. I want to not get winded from walking a few feet."

"I want that too. Maybe you need to stop focusing on getting them out and your fears that you won't get to have the birth experience you want, which is ridiculous. You are so lucky. They are both in good positions and you have the perfect pelvic structure for delivering twins."

"Almost like it was meant to be," I replied as I realized that I really didn't feel like arguing with her and that she wasn't totally wrong. Not that I was in the mood to feed her ego but she did have a point and she had delivered it effectively.

"You said it, not me," Alex teased as she pulled my front as close to hers as possible and kissed me with more passion than was appropriate but I returned anyway because it felt good and I needed to feel wanted so badly by the human I trusted above all others at that moment. My partner was strongly attracted to my body at its worst and willing to do or risk anything to make sure I knew it. Even if I felt I looked like a fertility goddess in all the wrong ways at that moment, it still hit hard that this was the moment she most wanted to remember in fifty years when we were old and our daughters' daughters had daughters. I had never been more loved on an elemental level than in that moment. I could never love her even close to how much she loved me but I was sure going to spend an eternity trying.

"So can I see it," I asked when I finally let go of her lips, when I was no longer on empty and full of self-hatred and fear.

"If you let me take a few more and just relax. Meditate on the beach. Do those silly visualization exercises that always seem to work. I've trained in them and I think they're psychobabble hogwash but I'll do a session."

"What'll it cost, Dr. Vause, " I teased.

"Since I want those girls out as much as you do, I get to be the first one to kiss them."

"Both of them?"

"Hey, that's the deal and if you want to haggle, I'll add in being the first to hold them too."

"Okay. You gonna cut the cord," I asked with hopeful excitement as I tried to shove away the only thing more painful than the actual labor with Geo, when some resident I had never seen before or since cut my firstborn child's cord.

"I'll probably be way more nervous than the first time I had to do it when I was twenty-one."

"I couldn't imagine having that kind of power at that age."

"Yeah, I got kicked out of so many delivery rooms on my OB rotation by nervous moms I was a tatted-up baby dyke and looked the part. On Valencia, I belonged but the fancy hospital on the hill not so much."

"I wouldn't have kicked you out," I told her flirtatiously as I grabbed at her black Pink Floyd tank top and my eyes peered down at her breasts. I was struck by a sudden, undeniable need to rip off her clothes and push her down on the sand and kiss every inch of her before tracing my lips' steps with my tongue then dipping into the places my lips could never reach before letting her flip me onto my back and regain her dominance in a dazzling display of lesbian top energy greater than any previously recorded in queer history. I glanced across the sand at the public bathrooms next to the bike path and as much as I hated everything about park bathrooms they were looking pretty enticing. Ultimately, I resisted the urge to fuck her but not the one to flirt with and tease her in public.

"Oh, you know you would have. Hell, I would have kicked me out if I were in labor and saw the lesbian Doogie Houser walk in," Alex, ever the realist, reminded me. I had come so far. Now she was the person I most wanted in the room while I was in labor. If I had gotten my way I would have delivered our babies with only her there to assist with the process.

"I'd like to see that, almost as much as I'd like to see myself in labor right now. And if I did kick you out, it would be because you were too hot and I wouldn't be able to focus," I retorted, unwilling to give her this win and acknowledge that, not all that long ago, I was every bit the sort of privileged woman I hated, that I piled self-hatred on top of fear and a deeply ingrained need for conformity and surface-level perfectionism.

"I hope you don't plan on still doing that," Alex told me in a tone that started off confident before trailing off into a sort of vulnerability she only got to with me.

"Well, since the hot woman I get to look at during labor is the goddess queen I get to call mine instead of some dude I'm holding hostage to please society and my family and give me the life I was taught to want, I don't. I want you there. We didn't make these babies together but we've grown them together," I grabbed Alex's hand and at the moment she looked down at my belly with a radiant smile, snapped a picture of my own, "Payback," I teased as I turned all my focus to the energy between her palm and my taut skin. A sense of calm rushed through me as the babies responded to her touch. We laughed and snapped pictures and again got lucky that a woman who was an amateur photographer just happened to be passing by at the right moment and offered to snap some pictures when we told her today was our due date with twins. We spent ten minutes posing for pictures before Alex went to the car and grabbed our picnic blanket from the car then she led me in a meditation session as I listened to the perfect combination of her husky voice and the crashing waves. A combination that most would probably not consider even remotely soothing, however, to me it was the greatest sound in the world. Well, at least for the next seventeen hours.


	67. Chapter 67

**A/N Warning: This chapter includes medically-based scenes of labor and the birthing process...so read with caution**

_July 2nd 9:00 pm_

We ordered pizza with salad and garlic knots for family dinner before we left the beach so that it would arrive soon after us. The five of us spent an hour hanging out on the patio eating and watching the sun set while Geo and Cal splashed in the pool the second that they finished two slices and a small bowl of salad. They were both still children and I loved them beyond words for it. Both Alex and I did. They reminded us every time we saw them not to take things so seriously and be stuck in power dyke mode all the time.

After the rest of the house other than Alex were in bed, I did a short yoga session while my wife watched intently. Then she drew me a warm bubble bath as I rubbed my bump, wishing I hadn't spent so much of the past couple of months hating everything about my body and that the damn egg had to split now that I was in my final days of feeling their every kick and hiccup. Eventually, I convinced her to join me and we cuddled in the tub, talking about everything but our kids. It reminded me of those early email chats two years ago when we were still getting to know each other before we were instantly thrust into full-time co-parenting of a child between baby and toddlerhood. Eventually we ran out of desire to talk and I felt her hands softly roaming every inch of my body before I felt a tentative fingertip run along my center.

I released a moan from deep inside my throat, threw my head back onto her shoulder and opened my legs wider to let her know she had permission to make love to me if she wanted. The wave of pleasure that surged through my body the second her finger made the slightest contact with my clit sent me into the stratosphere. I could feel my body shaking as she rubbed harder and alternated nibbling and kissing at the spot behind my ear. I could feel center opening as my orgasm built up inside me, threatening to bubble over the surface. Just when I was certain I would pass over into the realm of unbearable pain I felt two fingers enter me with room to spare.

I felt her reach up and gently massage my nipples as she kissed the curve of my neck. I barely felt the moment she thrust her fist inside me but I felt the stretch as my sensitive nerves and strained muscles worked to accommodate the welcome intrusion. She thrust hard as she whispered how tight I was and how good it felt.

When she finally began her journey to my g-spot she told me of her plan to get me out of this tub and repeat the process with her favorite dildo until I couldn't take it anymore. That alone would have made me cum but, of course, in her mind that wasn't pleasing enough for her Piper so she smoothed her fingers along my walls and mass ashes my g-spot before thrusting hard against it when I least expected it to.

I felt my heart race and breath grow faint as my body contracted harder than it had all day. I want to scream but I knew if I did she would stop and I wouldn't get to feel her girl-cock either and I wanted it all. I bit my lip and opened my hips as wide as I could and threw my head to the side just enough to kiss her breast until the surge subsided. She then went to work making good on her other promise before I fell asleep in her arms with her gaze locked on me and her hand unconsciously rubbing my belly as the contractions from the series of powerful orgasms she gave me became unmistakably the pains of active labor while I was lost in sleep.

I knew I was in labor and most likely Alex did too, at least if she deserved to call herself an obstetrician instead of a mere vaginal hobbyist, but neither of us said anything. I didn't feel the need to alert her to get me to the hospital, I could be in the final stage of labor and still not tell her and she knew it but she didn't seem to care. She also didn't seem to sleep either. I was certain I felt her enter me a couple times as if she were checking my cervix, an action that was somehow equal parts weird and soothing.

_July 3__rd__ 2:00 am_

As I had every night since late November, I felt a strong urge to per right around two in the morning. So I did what I always did but found it harder than Norma to wrestle myself from my wife's grip. She wanted me to think she was sleeping but I wasn't fooled.

I got up, did what I had to do and then grabbed a glass of water before getting the overwhelming urge to go again. Before I could make it a few steps, I felt a gush of liquid down my leg. Then a strong contraction followed by an even stronger gush. I didn't even know I was screaming until Alex came running in. She saw the puddles on the floor and knew. I expected her typical snark but instead she kissed my forehead and rubbed my lower back while I tried to apologize for making a mess and every other wrong I'd ever committed in my life.

Alex chuckled, kissed my hair and shook her head as she cleaned and seemed to ignore my ramblings but when she was done she embraced me and rubbed my back in all the right spots. Sometimes it paid to be married to a lesbian obstetrician, she had a way with women and didn't freak out at the prospect of a woman in labor who felt embarrassed and worried she'd have babies on the floor at any moment. Because until it became her potential reality it had been her dream. I had once imagined having a homebirth, now all I wanted was to get to the hospital. But of course, Alex, being the ball of mush she was had to make sure I was comforted first.

"It's okay, Stinky Butt. We'll get you cleaned up, Pipes, and changed and then we'll go to the hospital, baby, my love, my beautiful adorable baby, my wifey. My oh damn, the my the mother of my," her voice trailed off as what was happening became fully real for her too. Once she took a few deep breaths, rubbed her eyes and forehead, she declared frantically, "I'll get mom and tell Cal we're leaving and then we'll head to the hospital. Pipes! Babe! We get to meet our girls today! Our girls," she gushed as she barely held back her overwhelming wave of emotion.

"Are you sure we have time for all that? It's my second labor and I'm already feeling the urge to push," I replied through gritted teeth as waves of pain rushed to my abdomen, now every five minutes and with a lot more power than ever, I didn't remember them hurting this much with Geo but maybe I had forgotten over the years.

"Go lay down and I can check you and we'll go from there," Alex, ever the pragmatic problem solver, confidently replied.

I did as I was told while Alex, in what I was sure was a rare moment of optimism, started the shower. Moments later she came in and checked me as I joked that she'd never be able to touch me there again in the heat of passion but she assured me that she most certainly would and could. She told me my cervix was soft and I was close but even for a second-time mom I still had at least six hours. So I climbed into the shower with her as I breathed through the contractions in her loving, skilled arms.

As the cool water streamed over my hot skin, I wanted so bad to push but Alex told me not to. She told me that I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. In the moment I wanted to snap at her. In the moment I wanted to snap at her. She was a doctor and it wasn't happening to her. How the hell would she know what my body felt like? What labor felt like? Sure, she knew from an academic standpoint but not from an experiential one. I knew how long it had taken to get to this point with Geo, I wasn't sure I ever got to quite this point with him. But I didn't because she was being so tender with me and I never wanted it to stop. The contractions ripping me open, yes. My wife's hidden gentle vulnerability, never.

My contractions had slowed down a little after Alex applied pressure to a few points on my body, so I was blow drying and curling my hair when Diane came into our bathroom in denim shorts and a loose t-shirt.

"Are you going to Manhattan for a gala or to have babies cause I can't tell right now."

"I'm feeling momentarily relaxed right now so I figured I should look good. I see you let yourself in mom."

"Yeah, I figured you girls didn't want to wake the kiddo. We'd probably never get out of here if we did. Nobody is going to be looking at your hair in the delivery room, at least not the hair on your head."

"Mom! Gross," I hollered as Alex crossed her arms and stared down her mother, "Yeah, mom, gross. Nobody talks about my wife's pubic hair. I don't even talk about my wife's pubic hair unless it's time to take the kitty to the groomer and she asks for my input."

"Oh-Kay, forget I mentioned anything, both of you. TMI, my favorite children. T. M. I."

"I can still look good. And don't mention how overgrown I am and that my wife's colleagues are going to spend the next few hours looking at and touching my vagina while I'm spread eagle half naked," I continued as I addressed her earlier comment about me getting more dolled up than she'd ever seen me. It was going to be the most special day of my life. I wanted our daughters' first moments with me to be good and I would have done anything to make sure that happened.

"That would be weird."

"Oh well, my wife's fingers have already been up my cervix while she played the role of obstetrician and confused my poor pained little pussy who wasn't sure whether to mew or roar, today is already a weird day."

"Before or after your water broke?"

"What do you think? Did it sound like that activity is a part of our normal bedroom routine?"

"I never know with you two," Diane teased as her eyes fell to our hands as much as her facial expression said she didn't want them to.

"Funny, mom."

"Speaking of mothers, have you called the one who gave birth to you?"

"Not yet. She wouldn't really care anyway. Not like she's going to come rushing to Manhattan or that she'd be helpful in the delivery room. I already have to worry about Alex bossing around the poor L&D nurses, I can't babysit my mom too."

"I'll never understand that wretched woman."

"That makes two of us."

"Three," Alex added as she stole a kiss from me and rubbed my bump in the bathroom one last time before we piled into the car after wasting five minutes due to Diane and Alex squabbling over who would drive. I didn't care who drove. My only preference was to not give birth to these girls on the freeway between Queens and Brooklyn. I cared about nothing else but those two women were too full of pride and love for me to see it. Eventually, I broke up the fight by telling Diane I wanted her to drive, more because I knew it was the only option that would please everybody and then I could sit in the backseat with Alex comforting me during the half hour drive to the hospital. While Diane drove, I began to regret that I hadn't chosen to give birth at one of the two NYU hospitals closer to the house but Alex felt more comfortable at the main hospital where she knew the staff better, so we chose to have our babies at Tisch where they were best equipped for multiples.

_3:05 am_

The urge to push came in waves, always receding just as quickly as it built until we arrived at the hospital and parked in hospital administrator parking, I wasn't sure we were supposed to since she wasn't here in a professional capacity but it was closer to the express elevator so I didn't care. Alex held me close as we rode to the L&D floor, telling me we'd be there soon and that I was doing so good. She rubbed my back as I cried in pain while we waited for a room to be ready and by 4am were cozy in our birthing suite with a view of the river and Brooklyn. The nurses kept trying to pressure me to get the epidural but I turned it down, opting instead for Vicodin, gas, squats and my birthing ball. And that's where I remained in between swallowing down ice chips, nurses come in to check me and the babies' heart rates and positioning. Alex rubbed my back and never let me see her face, as if I had to in order to know tears were rolling down her eyes as she watched me endure the most extreme pain a woman can experience.

_5:45 am_

I was in between contractions when Diane came sprinting into the room with two huge coffees and a bag with two sandwiches that I could only watch the two of them eat, well that was the story we told the nurses, anyway. She had volunteered to grab some breakfast at a nearby bagel shop when she woke up from a power nap an hour ago.

Unofficially, Alex fed me bites of bacon and cheese because she's a sucker for a certain pair of blue puppy-dog eyes to the point she forgot she did a day of OB rotation as a student, let alone a whole residency. Anyone who walked in the room would think Alex had never seen a patient whiteboard in a room in her life or the acronym "npo." I had been so worried that she wouldn't be able to put the clinician aside, especially since when Alex and I first started dating so many people told me she was oftentimes overly clinical. But then I remembered it had been at least sixteen months since anyone had said that about my wife. Now, she was a wife who would do anything to spoil her beloved Pipes and nobody in that room was going to tell on her and we both knew it.

"Have you tried to take a nap," Diane asked as she cleaned up after breakfast.

"I couldn't possibly sleep," I moaned as I tried to roll over but hadn't been able to do that in months not attached to three heart monitors so I don't know what made me think I could do it now.

"That's why women get epidurals, sweetie," Diane responded with a similar coolness as her daughter did when she was subtly trying to tell me I was being ridiculous.

"Yeah, the last one I had didn't do a damn thing," I asserted, even though I knew I was fighting a battle I wouldn't win. I could easily beat Alex but not the final boss, her formidable mother.

"You need to conserve your energy for later. Do I have to tuck you in and tell you a story like I used to when Alex didn't want to sleep," she asked as she smoothed her fingers through my sweaty hair and ran a thumb along my cheekbone.

"The bunny story," I asked with a mixture of excitement and curiosity that I might get to hear the infamous story that had been Alex's original favorite literary work, the one that gave birth to an obsession that would likely never end.

"Oh, so you're familiar with my best work. I had a little girl who loved bunnies and dreamed of English gardens, what was I supposed to do? It wasn't like I had money or time to get pre-written children's books, until she started asking for them that is. Then I found a way because that's what you do when you're a mother and you have an intelligent, inquisitive, fairly well-behaved toddler in love with an activity that keeps her quiet and in one spot for hours on end."

"Alex told me the story about it one of our first nights together one night when I was really missing Geo but I also didn't want to leave her arms. During those first weeks when I was feeling especially torn between these two people I loved deeper with every smile in my direction. I still can't imagine Alex ever being obsessed with bunnies though. And she's always refused to tell me the actual story, she claims she can't tell it as good as you."

"And she's probably right. But I can't explain quantum mechanics to an adult let alone a toddler in anything resembling a meaningful way. So we both acquired skills as mothers related to our children's needs. Alex was at one time a cute little two year old girl who let me put her in some dresses I now recognize as hideous for any little girl, let alone one who grew up to be the sort of woman Alex is. She loved her Mary Janes. I think that's why she let me put her in the dresses and frilly socks."

"She hasn't really changed there, except now she has a wife who is convinced that she only wears dresses for the heels and jewels."

"Hey, you two, I'm still here," Alex declared as she swatted at us and chuckled.

"We're only saying good things, babe," I told her as I slowly worked my pinky onto hers and linked fingers before being hit with another contraction and grasping her finger so hard she quickly jerked her hand away as she winced in pain.

With help from the older two Vause women I got tucked into bed and Diane told me Alex's childhood favorite bedtime stories while my wife alternated between running her fingers through my hair and a cold compress along my forehead and cheeks as the early summer sun rose over the City. The next couple of hours were filled with watching movies and breathing through contractions interspersed with sessions on the ball until our doctor finally arrived.

"So I hear a couple little girls decided to choose their own birthday after all," she declared as she looked at me in a comfy silk black robe of Alex's that I had insisted on bringing and was momentarily my greatest comfort in the world. It was quickly becoming too warm as the morning sun grew higher in the sky and its reflection bathed the room in a golden light but I didn't regret my choice to pack it one bit.

"Yeah they did."

"You must be Diane," she turned to the eldest Vause woman.

"Yes, I'm Alex's mommy."

"Mo-om!"

"Aw, am I embarrassing you in front of your friend? What else is new," Diane teased her daughter as the two Vause women swatted at each other in one of their moments where they were more like sisters than mother and daughter.

"So nice to finally meet you, Alex talks about you a lot. I was a little surprised when we were discussing their ideal birth plan and Piper said she wanted you in the room," the doctor told Diane as they shook hands and Alex ran her perfectly manicured nails along the inside of my arm.

"We aren't the typical in-laws and we get that. I wasn't expecting it when she asked. I know we're close and she knows how much this means to me but I didn't want to be one of those mothers-in-laws who pushes her way into the delivery room cause her kid got a girl pregnant."

"And if anything goes the least bit wrong, you will be the first to be asked to leave," the doctor declared sternly.

"I'm aware of that. I'm the secondary support person. This is my daughters' moment," Diane responded as she rubbed Alex's shoulders.

"Okay, now we can see where we're at," she checked me, "Well, that certainly went quicker than I expected. How long did you say you've been in labor for now?"

"Maybe twelve hours, my water broke around seven hours ago."

"Well, it looks like you are having a very fast second labor, which judging from your difficulties with your first delivery and all the interventions you had to have is extremely shocking but I've seen it in mothers who have a baby a little bit too young for their body and then wait a few years to have a second. Their body is completely ready. And right now these little girls are ready to meet their mommies," she declared in a tone more like the friend she was on a normal day than the clinician she was currently functioning as at the moment.

"What if I'm not ready," Alex asked as her eyes showed a woman rapidly losing grip on her ability to rein in her vulnerability but her tone suggested she was trying to make a sarcastic joke.

"I think you know the answer to that, Vause. And we both know you wouldn't want to do something that could endanger Piper's life so I think you are. Now you go perform your role and let me preform mine. I'm going to take good care of your girls. You chose me to deliver them because you trust me and I know how big that is. You don't let Piper out of your sight when she isn't carrying the daughters you put a lot of money, tears and dreams into making so I can only imagine how much of a wreck you are right now. If you promise to behave during the delivery I won't call in a nurse to get her in place to have these girls and you can do it while I get the medical teams."

"I promise. As long as that's what she wants," Alex replied as she stole a quick kiss on the lips.

"Of course, you fool. Just remember, if you give me a bad haircut, it'll ruin your life more than it will mine," I declared as I momentarily forgot my wife and I weren't alone in the room until I heard Diane's exasperated sigh and the doctor's barely restrained chuckle.

"And just who has been keeping you well groomed for the last nearly four months," Alex teased before she went over and washed her hands then grabbed gloves and told me what to do and what she was doing like she didn't know full well that I had done it before. But I knew that she was doing it more out of her own nervousness and insatiable urge to ensure my comfort at all times.

After the teams for both babies arrived the doctor told me to push with the next contraction. Ready or not I was less than an hour from being a mother of three, a mother of twins, a mother of girls. I wasn't sure I was ready or I knew enough about womanhood and female self confidence to raise a pair of girls who I could already tell were strong willed. Then I looked over at Diane and Alex. Diane had been calm all morning and now that everything was in place for our daughters' arrival, so too was Alex. They didn't seem to be the least bit concerned. What I was still learning about being a strong, powerful woman they were born knowing. As long as I had them or at least held close what they had already taught me, I would be fine. I could do this. _I could do this. _I kept whispering those words in my head as I pushed and felt Baby A descending and my body cracking wide open so I could bring this girl who, by sheer genetic luck, would always be a stronger female than me, no matter what I did.

_9:45am_

"One more push, Pipes. You're doing so good, baby. Our first daughter is almost here. You can do this baby. I'm so proud of you," Alex whispered soothingly as I grasped her hand tightly and tried to remember to breathe the way I had been taught was the right way. Once she saw how hard I was straining from my counterintuitive attempt to do things the way I thought I was supposed to, Alex told me, "Just do what your body is telling you it needs. You've done this before. You know what works for you." Alex had been a rock through everything, rubbing my shoulders, climbing onto the bed and letting me lean against her so I listened and placed all my trust on my own intuition. I knew what my body needed, what my babies needed and what felt good.

I asked the doctor to remove the heart monitors attached to my belly and finger so I could be comfortable during the final stage of labor and she let Alex take them off. Alex then helped me change positions as I tried in vain to take the pressure off my lower back and pelvis as I struggled to get into a position that was both comfortable for me and the little committee in my belly.

_9:52am_

A scream ripped through the room followed by a wailing cry and then a slippery creature covered in white blotches with bright red full lips and big eyes still tightly squeezed shut was placed on my bare chest. I looked at this tiny copper haired thing with a full heart shaped mouth with curiosity. I was certain as she looked into my eyes for the first time that was realizing I wasn't her real mother. I wasn't the face she had expected to see. I may have known her better than I knew myself but I was a stranger to her. As she kept searching for comfort, I became aware that I was exactly who she was looking for and started kissing her head as her dark blue-grey eyes met my crystal blue set.

"Hi, little one. Look at that little hand," I exclaimed as I noticed how long and strong her fingers were as they wrapped around the finger I offered her and touched her lovingly. I wanted so badly to kiss her but I had made a deal with my wife and this was her first biological child. I loved her too much to take that moment from her, as much as I wanted it for myself. "Hey, babe, come meet your daughter. She has your little nose and just the chubbiest, most squeezable little cheeks."

"You just want to kiss her, don't you, Mrs. Vause. Bet it's just killing you right now."

"Get over here and say hi to the kid you got me knocked up with, unless you want the whole staff of the hospital to know what Dr. Vause's wife calls her at home. Suh-moo," I started then stopped when Alex walked across the room and kissed my forehead and then our firstborn daughter's as my normally stoic wife completely broke down in happy tears as she whispered sweet nothings to our daughter and I held her tight as I felt our other one begin to get into position.

All too quickly, the moment was over. Without asking if I was ready, a nurse handed Alex a pair of scissors and she looked at the two of us with a nervous look that concealed exactly how many times she had done this before.

The team assigned to baby A, Viviane Mavery Chapman Vause, checked the newborn while Alex tried her best to divide her attention between the team trying to help get our second daughter ready for delivery and the one that we already had. I encouraged her to take a few pictures and spend a few moments with her before my labor fully restarted. I smiled as I watched her holding her daughter and it slowly became real to her that this wasn't some patient's baby that she would hand off and never see again. Every ounce of this six-pound, two-ounce twenty-inch baby girl was hers and she was deeply in love. Alex Vause was notorious for being the type who never fell in love at first sight but I had seen her do it twice in less than two years. Seeing how in love she was gave me the extra bit of strength I needed to bring our other daughter into the world. Every desire in my brain and nervous system was screaming at me to give this woman another child and right now I could give her that without waiting another twelve months or even another twelve minutes. Every nerve in my body was sending the message that a woman who loved so purely and could be so gentle when nobody was watching or the world gave her permission to do so deserved to feel that high again. Besides, I wanted the pain to be over and I knew there was only one way to make that happen.

She stood there cooing and rocking our firstborn daughter until I beckoned her back over and at 10:18am, our second daughter, Seraphina Eliot Chapman Vause was born wailing just as loudly as her sister but more curious about her surroundings and with greater awareness of her place in her present space. Where Vivi had been more confused and hesitant, her sister came into the world as if she had been here a million times before and had known everyone in the room for years and was glad to be reunited. Maybe she was the original embryo and not her older sister who was given the distinction of baby A based on positioning.

Her eyes were a slightly deeper shade of grey than her sister but everything else was exactly the same, although later when she was cleaned up we'd notice that her hair was much redder and stuck to her head in tight ringlets, unlike her sister's wavy auburn hair. She was just under six pounds by a fraction of an ounce and nineteen and a half inches long. The doctors and nurses said they were the longest set of twins they had ever delivered but nobody was really all that shocked when we set a record for longest twins at NYU or when neither of them got any points for color with their pale skin that wasn't blue but it wasn't pink either. They had their mother's pale Irish skin tone and the donor's red hair, extremely pale skin was to be expected. They both got perfect marks for everything except grimace, the perinatologists said they weren't concerned since they were still a little premature and likely their reflexes hadn't yet caught up with them. They had the reflexes necessary to breastfeed and that was good enough for their mothers, so they let them both room in with us instead of going to the NICU for overnight observation.

Once the babies were safe and pronounced healthy, Diane kissed them on their cotton caps and then Alex and me on our cheeks before telling us she was going to enjoy Manhattan while it was fairly empty thanks to everybody fleeing the city for cabins and beach houses to get ready for their Fourth of July festivities. I had known two years ago Independence Day would never be the same when I chose it (or did it choose me?) to type the words 'I like girls' without 'think I' or 'might' for the first time but now knew on the deepest level possible would never be the same. I would always think of the day I declared my freedom and the one when my daughters came screaming into the world like the firecrackers I knew they would become. She said her goodbyes and told us that as long as the nurse manager told her we behaved ourselves she would sneak us dinner from anywhere we wanted on her way back to spend the night with us, just a couple of perks thanks to Alex's high-ranking position at the hospital.

"Look, babe, I think you got your redhead," I told her when the nurse put Sera back on my bare chest and Alex loosened the blanket as the baby started to fuss softly and dig her nose into my breast as I felt her mouth begin to root around for my nipple and my body begin to awaken to a routine it should have known but didn't.

"I have two of them, babe," Alex exclaimed with a mix of pride and sheer awe.

"You know what I mean. Her hair is RED, like red-red. Like if it were any redder it would be a stop sign."

"Now don't talk about my baby like that," Alex cooed as she ran her fingers through the scarlet ringlets and Sera shifted on my chest and peered up at Alex as we observed the moment she realized she had two mothers and decided she was cool with it as long as she never had to do more in her life than softly whimper.

"You know what I mean. I had a feeling this fiery little being in my belly could be nothing else. I wanted her to be just as I imagined her so badly. I knew you would have loved me still if she came out with dark hair but I wanted the curly haired redheaded girl who, if I'm being honest, has always inhabited my dreams and now she's in my arms and she's so perfect. She'll probably have adorable little freckles. At some point I'll probably make her dress up as Annie for Instagram and not be the least bit sorry."

"And I will one hundred percent support that behavior. She is the prettiest newborn I've ever seen."

"Hey, what about her identical twin," I exclaimed as I shifted my gaze towards the bassinet with a sleeping baby that had magically appeared next to the bed, for some reason I still couldn't comprehend that I had two, probably because I had yet to hold them both at once.

"She's the cute one, just like her Mommy. And this one," Alex cooed as she wriggled our string bean of a newborn from my arms as I sulked for a moment before remembering that I was the one who would get to remind her about her moment of complete maternal desperation later and smiling mischievously as my wife declared, "is the knockout gorgeous redheaded girl next door. Now Momma knows why she had to get a gun when she has a black belt. Yes, cause I gotta scare the paramours away from my gorgeous little wild child. Keep my little badass' sweet, gentle heart intact at all costs like my mom did for me so that one day she can find the perfect person to give it to like I did."

"You will not!"

"I'll do whatever I have to do to protect my family, especially the little girl I never asked for but I could never imagine not having," she cooed as she looked down at our second daughter with a powerful glare I had never seen before.

As I watched the two bonding, I realized I was witnessing my wife's rebirth. I was watching the moment Alex Vause, Mama Bear was born. I had witnessed the moment motherhood became no longer a theoretical pursuit, whether academically or through eighteen frozen embryos thousands of miles away, as my son became ours. And that had made my heart flutter but nothing compared to this moment. I was watching her go from the fun mom to the fierce mom. Time would tell if that would be a good shift or not, however, at that moment, it was beautiful and all was right with the universe. Alex was happy. Our daughters had arrived safely a day after their due date and they were both healthy. I had never felt a greater high in all my life.

As I held one in each arm for the first time, I knew I had never felt so much pure love and sheer terror all at once before. I was now the mother of twins who soon became hungry at the same time. I had been nervous enough upon holding them as they slept after their long morning, but I was petrified when I fumbled my way through feeding two newborns. Of course, Alex burped and changed them like she had done this a million times when they were done.


	68. Chapter 68

**A/N: So this functions as the final chapter of the story but there is a bonus chapter, cause who doesn't love a Vauseman wedding, and an epilogue to tie up loose ends (and if you ask nicely I might give you a sneak peek of the rough opening for the sequel)...hope you all have loved this ride as much as I have and finally meeting the Vause twins/name reveal.**

After around three—maybe four blurry hours of caring for helpless newborn twins, I heard Geo gigging and skipping loudly and Cal admonishing him just outside the open door of our suite, "What did I tell you at least ten times this morning, buddy?"

"I have to be quiet cause babies mi'be sleeping and dey needs dere sleep."

"You want your sisters to like you, don't you, bud?"

"Uh-huh, Uncie."

"Do you like when people wake you up?"

"Nuh-uh. But they don't have'ta let me sleep! Mommies saided dey mi' cry all day and night at first and I can't get mad! Dat no fair!"

"It's cause they don't know any better and they can't take care of themselves on their own so they need big people to help them. But you're a big boy, maybe even big enough to help with things sometimes."

"I still need help!"

"I know, buddy, you aren't that big yet and your moms want you to stay little and your moms could both whoop my butt, so I want that too. But you know how to go to the bathroom and get a snack if you're hungry. You wanna know what your mom told me one time when we were older and I asked what her favorite part about having a little sibling was?"

"Which mom, I have two!"

"You know—sorry, bud, your Mommy."

"It okay, Uncie. Just stop forgetting!"

"I will."

"Now te'me!"

"So she told me her favorite thing was getting to teach me things. That and going on adventures together."

"Does Mommy still do that?"

"Not as much as when we were little but I know I always have a big sister in my corner and that she will always protect and support me."

"I hope I can be as good a big brudder as Mommy was a big sis'er!"

"You will, Geo. You ready to officially report for big brother duty?"

"Aye, aye, Captain!"

I heard Cal laugh and seconds later walk in holding Geo's hand, both of them beaming as they saw me laying in bed holding one baby and Alex sitting next to me on the edge clutching the other one against her chest like a baby koala with her loose v-neck tank top pulled down just enough to not show her nipple.

"Hey, buddy," I tried to be sunny and encouraging despite my physical and psychological exhaustion because I was happy to see him and I did miss him. I just hoped he knew that.

"Hi, Mommies! I bringed sissies presents!"

"You did," I asked as Alex shifted the baby on her chest into her arm as the child began to search for sustenance.

"Uh-huh. I got cow stuffies," he exclaimed as if cows were the coolest animals in the whole world.

"Your Momma might have gotten you something, why don't you go ask her?"

"Okay," he answered as Alex shifted the baby in her arms into mine like old pros and anybody watching would think we had learned from caring for our son as a newborn. But the truth was I never got comfortable handing Geo off when I was holding him so I rarely did until Alex came into our lives.

I turned my attention to Cal as I watched my wife and our son share a moment out of the corner of my eye, "Did he give you any trouble? You want one," I shifted the newborn closest to where he had taken Alex's seat on the bed towards him but he recoiled from the calm newborn.

"I never knew how hard it was to get a kid out of the house and then drive fifteen miles through city traffic. You two must be nuts to have three and counting. I'm used to babysitting for a few hours and I love that. I love taking him places and I can't wait to take my new nieces on outings but getting kids ready in the morning is a completely different animal. I don't know how you and Alex do it every morning, how you did it for so long without her help. I will never forget to put on a condom again after this morning. Hell, after this morning I'm seriously considering getting snipped."

"You get better at it and it gets easier. And that'll just encourage you to be married first and to actually help your future wife with the kid since you know how hard it is. And you learn to savor the small victories. You got an extremely excitable kid barely out of toddlerhood into clothes that match with two shoes, which is always major bonus points, through one of the biggest cities in the world. If you can do that on your first go at it, someday when you are ready you'll be a great dad, Cal. Whatever woman you choose to have kids with will be lucky cause you'll have had tons of practice and been around two queer feminists who will kick your ass at the first sign of toxic masculinity. I couldn't have done what you did this morning my first try, I can barely do it now. I'm not even sure I was fully dressed and wearing remotely matching shoes my first time out of the house after I had Geo. I could barely go half a block to the corner store for milk and bread because I had been out for days and YKW couldn't be bothered to bring me groceries unless it was for Geo and even then he never got the right things or tried to find them. It was months before I could go anywhere other than work and the grocery store. He was around six months before he even saw a park and a little older before he actually went to one."

"And knowing you, older still when his little baby feet actually touched grass and dirt."

"Yeah, but now the park is our favorite thing. He loves the boats at Central Park and still loves carousels. I'll never understand that obsession but I hope that's all he's ever unnaturally obsessed with. And these two will probably be at the park with their feet on grass before their next pediatrician appointment. I'm less anxious as a mother. And I don't know if it's Alex or having done this all before but I'm not scared."

"I am. They are just so tiny. They look so breakable, especially this one," he declared as he let me shift Sera into his arms.

"She is small and mighty. That's why we named her Seraphina, it means ardent and fiery. In the Bible, they were the strongest angels with six wings each. We had another girl name we loved and still hope to use but when we came across Seraphina, we knew it was perfect for our strong, wild girl, especially when we saw her hair color."

"Can I," he motioned to the little striped cap on her head.

"Yeah," I responded as he gently pulled it up and red curls spilled out.

"Look at all that hair! These are definitely not Chapman babies!"

"That better be the last time you say that! But I understand the sentiment."

"Sorry, sis. I know she's as much yours as she is Alex's daughter. They really are beautiful. I don't know how much of Alex I see in them. I thought you said they looked just like her," Cal declared in a questioning tone.

"They look exactly like her as a baby, have you never seen my wife's baby pictures?"

"No, I'm not even sure I've seen yours at that age."

"That makes two of us. I don't think there are pictures of me before age two. Diane had at least a hundred good excuses, our parents didn't have a single one. But I'll have to show you some, maybe you can come up to Northampton with us sometime when we go to Diane's house."

"Would she want me to? I don't even know what I would be to her. I'm the brother of her daughter's wife."

"Of course she would, Cal. Don't be silly."

"Yeah, kid brother," Alex added from across the room where she was playing with Geo's new wood puzzles with him on the couch.

"We'll have to plan something soon then. Can I hold the other one? I hate calling her that, what's the other one, shit I did it again. What's her name?"

"Probably not the first nor the last time she's going to hear that, might as well get her used to it now. We already just call them baby, I'm sure that will soon become twin. Her name is Viviane. Not Vivien, pronounced with an a not an e like her mothers chose to spell it. We also chose to spell it with one 'n' and an 'e' at the end as an homage to Diane. It means life and we always talked about how full of life she was from the beginning. To have endured through being frozen and then splitting into identical twins. And it comes from a French saint who was known to be a protector, which, of course, would be prefect even if she wasn't the older twin. After all, Alex's name means protector so it has a link to both her genetic mother and grandmother," I explained as I slowly coached him through the motions required to hold a set of newborn twins.

"You don't plan to call them Viviane and Seraphina, do you? Cause I don't know how that would work in an emergency situation."

"No, their nicknames are Sera with an 'e' and no 'h' and Vivi or Viv. Sera's might get further shortened too but we haven't decided yet. For now, Sera is working but she's our wild, up all night raver so I'm sure she'll have a few choice nicknames," I cooed as I ran my finger under her chin and touched her cheek as she shifted her face towards my chest thinking she was going to get fed, "Guess I should take her."

"What, why?"

"I forgot just how strong their reflexes are when they are this little and in three seconds she is going to start screaming unless she gets fed."

"Should I grab her a bottle," Cal glanced around the room looking for where a food source for a newborn might be, every time looking right past the obvious solution as I held her against my chest and started to open my black nursing cami. I smiled at him once I had her latched on and he was still completely oblivious, "No, bro, I got her."

"Oh. So you're," he started to ask as his voice trailed off as he watched me doing something that was beyond most men's comprehension when the baby was made the typical way, let alone the way ours were.

"Yeah. I wanted to give it another try and so far they are feeding like champs. This one especially. I'm so grateful that they are. I was really hoping to get that extra layer of bonding. Don't tell mom and dad this but I wanted it because they are genetically Alex's and I wanted to feel like their real mother. Which, believe me, I now realize was the height of my ridiculousness for reasons I won't mention."

"Yeah thanks sis. You've already ruined lesbian porn for me, I would appreciate if you didn't ruin that, you know, part for me too."

"It's called a vagina, my three-year-old son who has trouble with irregular verbs and his 't's' can use that word, why can't a grown man who has had and enjoys sex with women? Oh, and right now I'm worried enough that I've already ruined them for Alex and I really like what she does to mine, I can't be concerned about your future sex life with chicks or lack thereof."

"Carol and Bill barely raised you to know that word. You had a tutu and Danny and I had wee-wees that we had to keep in our pants and never touch. I'm not sure kids need to know anatomical terms anyway."

"I'm a doctor's wife who works in healthcare advocacy, you'll never win that argument so don't step into the mine field. But I get that our parents did a number on us but we aren't kids anymore. We have our own lives and support ourselves. You know better and I know better and hopefully we'll be better parents then they were. You're already an amazing uncle and I think little Miss Vivi has a new favorite person," I said sweetly as I looked down at Sera and then over at Viv, hours old and already trying to smile at her uncle as he kept bouncing her slightly and telling her "I'm Uncle Cal," over and over.

After Sera finished eating, Alex brought Geo over and took Vivi from Cal while I burped our younger daughter.

"You want to hold the baby, bud," Alex asked as she guided Geo back to the couch with Vivi in her arms.

"Yes, Momma," he shook his head wildly and bounced up and down, "Please? Can I, please? Please, please, pretty please?"

"Yes. But you have to sit down and no kisses or touching her face. She's very little and she gets sick easy," Alex instructed as she glared at him to calm down.

"I don't wanna make her sick," he cried as he settled and looked up at the tiny baby in Alex's arms.

"I know you don't, bud. When she gets a little bigger you can give her kisses but for now just mommies and Nana can give the babies kisses."

"Okay."

"Now let's go wash your hands like a surgeon," Alex exclaimed as I chuckled at a game she invented, one which finally got my son to enjoy washing his hands. Why had it taken a psychiatrist to teach me that toddlers learned best when lessons were turned into games? He of course skipped up to the sink as she managed to hold our newborn in one arm and help our son with the other before the two went over to the couch and she slid the baby into Geo's arms, "support her neck, her head is still very floppy. Don't hold her too tight. Be gentle with her," Alex cautioned as she struggled to hide her tension.

"Is this Viv or Sera," he asked as he looked up at his other mother. For months, he had been the only person other than Alex and me who knew our daughters' first names, mostly because it was easier when it was just the three of us at home if he knew them. We had promised him a special surprise trip if he kept the secret and it seemed we would soon be booking a trip to Orlando for January, even though we told him he had to be five to go and he would only be three.

"This is Viv, she's the older twin, which makes her the middle child like Mommy. Mommy has Sera, she was hungry. But you can meet her later. Maybe when Mommy is done we can have Cal bring her over and we can read her one of the new books I bought you guys together. Would you like that, baby boy?"

"Yeah! I've been practicing!"

"Good, so you can help me with the big words then," Alex teased as she tousled Geo's hair and he giggled.

"I love being a big brother," he declared proudly as he kicked his feet.

"Good, cause I love being a mom," Alex responded with every bit of her typical self-assured confidence but in a warmer tone than I was used to from her. I almost wanted to say me too but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I love being a mom. But even more, I loved watching my gorgeous wife be a mom. A goofy, warm-hearted mom who placed her children and the woman who birthed them above everything and everyone else. I couldn't wait to see how the rest of our lives as mothers would unfold. Watching Alex and Geo, I had never been more grateful that the risky choices we had made over the past five years had led us to this moment where I had my brother next to me, my wife's baby milk drunk in my arms as I watched the love of my life introduce her twin sister to my son. If I hadn't been in so much pain from my chest to my thighs I would have sworn I was dreaming but the greatest thing was that I wasn't.


	69. Chapter 69

**A/N: Thanks for all your kind words about my last chapters...it really means a lot that you guys love my crazy story as much as I do...and now because I know we all love a Vauseman wedding, here's Vauseman wedding number #2...and this chapter focuses a lot on Piper's father and how he's grown through this story too, it'll all make sense in the epilogue, promise...hope you like it...I finished a new chapter for Stuck on You last night so hopefully that will be up tomorrow and then the epilogue for this one!**

"Ma, ma, ah-ah," two little voices attempted to drown out the buzz of the crowd of women in the master bedroom of Alex's friends' Martha's Vineyard mansion we turned into a bridal suite.

"It's Mommy, say Mommy," I told the pair of green-eyed red-haired four-month-olds who had recently begun to attempt to figure out the finer points of crawling, a stage I was both ready and not ready for with our two bright, inquisitive, wild and fiercely independent twin girls. Tall and gorgeous were givens, they were one hundred ten percent their mother's daughters. Multiple times already I had teased Alex that she secretly did some sort of genetic experiment and our daughters were just from her genes. Alex would shake her head and chuckle, let out an exasperated sigh at my ridiculous, wild imagination or ask me if I was complaining. Of course I wasn't, I would have actually preferred that. They were healthy, active and all early observation suggested they had inherited Alex's intellect. Viví was the more typical girly girl who loved wearing cute outfits and smiling for the camera while Sera was the alpha of our growing pack, she ran the house and was full of boundless energy. I already knew she would soon be the reason I perfected taking videos and action shots.

"Ma-ma-ma-ma-mmm," they repeated as they sat on a blanket surrounded by toys but frustrated that they couldn't figure out how to get onto all fours.

"Momma is already all ready and probably bossing everybody around cause everything has to be perfect for Mommy. What is Mommy, chopped liver," I cooed as I knelt down as best I could in a wedding dress, "I just gave birth to you two, your Momma just provided the egg. I'd pick you two up but you'd spit up all over my dress," I looked down at the lightly blush pink dress that showed off my shoulders, a hint of cleavage but not enough to upstage my wife and was tight around my legs.

You know, just in case Alex needed one last reminder of why she was going forward with a five-hundred person WASPy wedding complete with a minister, candles and flowers. The ceremony was really neither of our style but it was the result of compromise between the two of us and my parents who had a certain image in mind of their only daughter's wedding. Before Alex had a daughter of her own, she fought my parents more but since the girls came it had mellowed things out between Alex and Diane and my parents. My parents, especially my dad, recognized Alex as a mother and Diane as a grandmother in a way they hadn't when it was just us raising Geo. And Alex had begun to understand them on a deeper level now that she knew what it was to parent a daughter.

Ultimately, we decided to just be grateful that they were willing to shift their perfect vision just enough to allow three young children and two brides, neither of whom were wearing white dresses. Wedding dresses, of course, but neither of us looked good in white and the symbolism didn't fit either of us with who we were before we found each other.

Instead, we opted for colors we liked and looked in good in, Alex had chosen a custom mermaid black dress with rhinestone accents and a deep plunging neckline that showed off her back and cleavage. While I had chosen a more understated one resembled the color of a glass of Rose` and had a Bohemian look with chiffon and lace. After the final fitting and I realized baby weight from twins didn't fall off as easily as from a singleton, I demanded our tailor add a v-shaped Swarvoski crystal-encrusted silver and black lining across the neckline and waist to hopefully make me at least appear slimmer. Our tailor, of course, hadn't been thrilled about the idea. Luckily, Alex had the kind of bank account that could make any proposition just a bit more exciting so I got my perfect wedding dress that made me feel like a princess, a sexy, sporty princess but still more of a princess than I ever imagined In would want to feel. I caught her smiling when I tried it on two nights ago before we left the City for the Cape and burst into tears when I tried on the completed dress and spun around like a little girl in her first dance recital outfit so it couldn't have been that awful looking.

"Na-ah," Vivi promised with her dimpled smile and one tooth barely poking out of her gumline as she reached her hands towards me and did the sign for 'up'.

"Mo-mo, mum-mum-ooo," Sera said haltingly with her head slightly cocked as she tried a different method than her sister, obviously hoping flattery would bring her the success her older sister wasn't receiving. Everyone noticed that she had problem-solving skills way too advanced for her age, she made her mommies so proud. Our other two were relatively normal, of slightly higher intelligence sure but Sera was exceptional. She demanded more time and we tried to give it to her, as guilty as it often made us feel. I never totally understood why Diane said that she wanted another child but didn't have one because Alex was such a needy child and then I had Sera. And if Alex and I weren't in a position to hire a nanny just for her, there's no way we could balance our businesses and household while still planning for future children.

"Okay girls, one quick cuddle but you had better be good during the ceremony," I replied with an exasperated sigh, hoping my mom wouldn't have yet another comment about my daughters' presence at my, yes _MY,_ wedding and what Alex and I chose to do with _OUR_ children, much less in my arms in full hair and makeup with my very expensive dress on. She had already commented when I breastfed the twins in my dress earlier that morning, of course, she commented nearly whenever I breastfed them at all from birth. When they were first born, it was just in public now she kept asking when I was going to stop or if they were maybe a little too big for that.

_When she first met them when they were four days old and I pulled out my breast for the hazy creature screaming her head off, don't ask me which one because until recently they were both just "twin that never sleeps" or "twin" for short, she asked, "are you sure you should be doing that?" "What," I had asked. "Breastfeeding." "Well, giving them a Hershey bar is generally frowned upon at this age, and they aren't asking for mac and cheese yet, so yeah." "But, Piper, sweetheart, they are another woman's babies. They aren't meant to drink your milk. Your milk is for your babies and they aren't." "No, I just carried them in my womb for nine months and gave birth to them but tell me how they aren't mine." "Well, I know you gave birth to them, I'm trying to discount the important role you had in bringing these girls into the world and as a mother myself, I know how amazing what you did for Alex was. What a sacrifice you made for this woman who is clearly important to you. But you aren't their real mother. You were the surrogate and that is a noble thing. You should be proud of what you did for them and Alex. But you don't want them to be confused, do you? They need to know who their true mother is, it's important for their security and sense of self. They can only have one mother." "Yes, because women carrying babies for other women is a new concept." "Yes, but even then it was clear who the real mother was, you're going to confuse them. They aren't going to know who they are biologically tied to. Are you sure you aren't doing it for the wrong reason?" "You had better not be implying what I think you are. Yeah, I like tits and having mine played with, my wife's and by my wife. Since you seem to be so overly concerned about what my wife and I do in our bedroom. These are our children. We are their parents, their legal mothers. Our names are on the birth certificate, Alex is parent #1 but that doesn't make her more of a mom than me to these girls. My body makes milk, my babies are fed and that's all I give a damn about right now." "Well, I guess you always did just do whatever you wanted without caring about the long-term implications of your actions and how they would affect not only others but yourself as well._

But at the moment, I was thoroughly invested in an intense game of peek-a-boo with two giggling infants who were really just tiny versions of my wife with reddish-blonde curls, Alex and I joked that I only made curly haired babies, every time ending with a kiss to my forehead from Alex before she commented, "and I like it that way. So, keep doing it."

Now that I was slowly emerging from my haze as the twins transitioned from completely dependent newborns to infants able to do things for themselves and entertain each other that comment was beginning to become a realistic possibility. Instead of a playful slap, that assertion elicited a flirtatious smile that came closer to becoming steamy with every time we did that dance without saying what either of us was thinking or asking the questions racing through our minds.

"Hey, darling," I heard my dad's voice say with a rare softness, as if he were trying not to scare me or otherwise ruin the special moment between his daughter and hers.

"Hi, dad, sorry, I didn't hear you come in," I twisted my head and watched as my dad walked into the room and knelt beside me and the twins.

"That's fine, Piper. They only stay this little for a little while. Before you know it, they'll be the ones in wedding dresses. I feel like I blinked and here you are all grown up and married with children. You have an amazing life partner and happy, well adjusted, intelligent kids. You've run multiple companies and you aren't even thirty yet. I always knew you were a special kid and you have proven me right at every turn. I haven't always agreed with your decisions and I still don't know who turns down a track scholarship to Stanford for Smith but you made the right decision for you and it all turned out better than I could have ever designed it. I'm so proud of you, Piper. And I love both you and Alex so much. I'm blessed to call her a daughter now. The more I get to know her, the more I want to give her father a strong talking-to, you know that I've never been a man to use his fists but if I were to just once, it would be him. I can't comprehend any halfway decent man not wanting to call themselves her dad."

"I'm glad you don't share mom's opinions on my childrearing."

"Yes, your mother told me she was worried the girls would ruin your dresses. And that babies didn't belong at weddings, especially the bride's babies. That it flaunts premarital sex. Times have evolved. And I'm glad they have. If you had asked me two years ago, I would have been vehemently opposed to everything about this wedding, probably even would have called it a farce or a mockery of the fine institution of marriage. And I know what you are going to say. I know you saw things as a child that no little girl should. I'm the last one who should be judging who is harming the holiness of marriage. Your mother forgives me, God forgives me and hopefully, you do too. I tried to tell her that a little spit up wasn't going to harm anyone."

"I know she doesn't think they should even be here. She thinks they're too little."

"I know and I'm pretty sure she's still not convinced they should exist at all. Whether now, in nine months, or ever. She, of course, won't say that because she knows what people will think and luckily homophobia has fallen out of fashion in most proper social circles. We even have a few wealthy white gay male couples counted in the membership at the country club now."

"Yeah, and Alex finally gave into peer pressure and joined a club just north of the City that a lot of the other NYU Med Center board members are part of. And she's part of a club for Harvard alumni."

"Does she actually golf?"

"She's decent at it, she would still rather be in the boxing gym or playing poker but she's a high-priced doctor, it's expected."

"If she ever wants me to bring her to the club, I would be happy to have her as my guest. And I doubt either of your brothers are going to be interested in the Chapman family membership, why can't I hand it down to a daughter? Because she married a woman and not a man?"

"Ah, yes, we could be the first queer female family with full membership in the history of the club."

"Well, the Chapman family are founding members, it would be a shame if that ended for such a silly reason. And believe me, if it did it would be Celeste and I ending our long-standing support and making sure everybody around our social circle who is anybody knows exactly why. My bisexual daughter fell in love with a woman instead of a man and my sons don't care, one about family traditions and the other hates every sport and everything about wealth. Speaking of, Diane and Alex are ready to start when you are."

"How do I look?"

"Like a princess. I'm so proud to call myself your father. And I can't think of anyone else I would trust to care for you than Alex."

"Whamme," a little curly redhead popped up from my chest and looked at her grandfather. He motioned to me and after I smiled and loosened my grip, he lifted the owner of the tiny voice onto his hip.

"You are a little princess. Which one are you," he asked while looking in my direction.

"I think that's Seraphina but they tend to know who they are better than we do. When they were just born and in utero it was easy but when you're exhausted it's more difficult."

"I'm so amazed at how much they resemble you. I wasn't expecting that. Especially Sera. She is a mini-version of your personality and behavior-wise. She's more like you than the kid who is genetically yours."

"Everybody says that and I really don't think it's all that surprising. She has a lot of traits from me because I formed her in my womb, it makes sense to me but she is needier than she'll admit, and that is all Alex."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Piper," he replied in a stern yet playful tone as he kissed my cheek while holding one of the twins, "I love having granddaughters. When you were born so many people made snide comments about you not being a boy but of course to appease your mother who was unhappy that you weren't a boy I held my tongue. I wanted a little girl; I would have been happy if that's all I had. I love my sons but I always hoped to one day have a daddy's little princess who would never love another man as much as she loved her daddy. And I got every part of my wish and another daughter as a bonus. Plus, these girls," he cooed as he tickled the baby in his arms on her belly and she giggled loudly.

"Well, you'd be happy to know that most of our remaining frozen embryos are girls, so chances are you'll get another princess or two," I said half-jokingly.

"I wouldn't mind that one bit," he said with a smile, "Now let's go get you married before your mother starts complaining about things being imperfect or not occurring on her schedule."

"Yes, we should. Can you take Viv?"

"Of course," he responded as he placed the older twin on his other hip and held them both across his chest, "that's why grandpa has two arms."

"Now if only my mother could figure that out," I retorted as I got up and straightened out my dress before taking a squirmy infant, the one in the pink dress with the black sash while her sister in the black dress with pink sash whimpered from his arms. My dad said nothing. The shake of his head said everything he could, that he needed to say.

We headed outside to the garden where Alex and Diane stood at the end of a makeshift aisle and looked down at the altar where our bridal party stood, with Nicky at the head on one side and Cal on the other, our persons of honor as we called them, with Geo in the center in front of our female Unitarian minister, a small compromise we had made with my mother.

"Hi, baby. You look even more gorgeous than when you left to put on your dress," I whispered the moment I laid eyes on my bride, before my father officially gave me away to her before our whole community and the Christian God they believed in.

"I could say the same about you," Alex responded with a kiss as Bill and Diane looked on and my mother scowled from the front row that we were kissing before we even took a step onto the aisle.

"You both look so beautiful and such a perfect match. Would you like your daughter, Alex? I'd gladly keep her forever but I'm sure you miss your baby," my dad told Alex as he gave her a quick hug.

"Yes, I would. I miss my girls like crazy every moment they are out of my sight. All three of them."

"I'd like to say that feeling lessens over time but it doesn't," he told her as he handed the baby in his arms to my wife with a smile that only deepened my mother's scowl from her seat. For a woman so concerned about getting wrinkles she sure did like to scowl at my wife.

"Piper, you really do look amazing. I don't think I would wear a dress like yours forty years postpartum with my one baby, let alone four months with twins," Diane told me as we watched Alex and my dad share a moment.

Ever since the twins came along, the two of them had begun developing a father-daughter bond that seemed to deepen every time that they saw each other on both of their ends. Alex had once been a staunch, immobile member of the "I don't need a dad or any man for anything" club but slowly as she got a son, then a brother and now children of her own that had their donor's red hair, as she had spent so long hoping for, her views on the subject had shifted and softened. She now saw the point of having a dad, even if she still had no interest in her own. She now realized that some dads, too many sorry excuses for fathers really, walked out but that didn't mean there weren't good fathers in this world who wanted and loved their children and deserved to be celebrated. She had even begun to see our daughter's donor not as another example of a man willing to deposit his sperm and walk out on a kid like hers but a man who saw the value in parenthood and demanded little in exchange for helping others know that joy, people who for whatever reason wouldn't know it otherwise.

"I don't know. I still think it shows off too much of the pooch that won't go away," I confessed to Diane.

"Do you really want it to? It's evidence that your body did something amazing. And it's from having girls, so it isn't going anywhere. All the moms with a daughter that I know have one decades later. It's the estrogen, as our girl would tell us. As if a woman has to go to medical school and do an OB rotation to know that. All she has to do is carry a daughter and try to bounce back from it. Daughters change you on levels you didn't think existed before you had one. Don't listen to that witch I'm forced to share my baby with, your body doesn't go back to what it was before after having a daughter no matter what you do. At least not without a plastic surgeon and why would you want that? Girls take a piece of their mother in a way boys don't."

"Why didn't you tell me this a year ago?"

"Would you have listened if I had," Diane challenged as she shot me the Vause glare like only the originator of that look my wife had could.

"No, I wouldn't have."

"We both know you would have been comin' up with every reason you're the exception to every rule and somehow special. Sorry, sweetheart, for not trying though. I should have warned you about that but I sorta wanted granddaughters and now that I have them, I don't regret not telling you everything I know about birthing and raising girls."

"But I am special, your kid tells me so at least ten times a day."

"It's closer to a hundred and she's part of the problem. Now c'mon, let's get you girls married. Some of us would like to eat, drink and dance."

"Yes, like me," I teased before going back over to my dad while Alex went back to Diane. I watched as she walked down the aisle a few paces in front of me and then turned and smiled as I walked the last steps down the aisle on the arm of my dad while Diane took her seat.

I looked around the crowd, equally divided between Alex's NYU life, the entire staff of Artemis, friends, and teammates from my days at Smith and the boarding school, my family's friends and our friends. When I was struggling alone with my sexuality, thinking that if anybody knew I preferred girls it would be the end of everything that mattered—my athletic career, my family, my position in respectable society, having a family of my own—I never could have imagined this moment.

I thought of all those nights getting drunk on wine and watching hot, successful feminine women make out on TV and knowing that was exactly what I wanted but still hanging on to the things my mother and friends, led by Polly, told me about how my son needed a father. I figured if everybody was saying the same thing they must be right even if every date with a guy after Larry felt so wrong. Sure, making out with them got me aroused and I ended up having mutually enjoyable sex more than once but after it was over and I went home my skin itched like nothing I had ever felt. It felt so wrong. It was a nice life and I didn't want to fail my sweet son. My fear of failure was so deeply ingrained in me. Turns out, I didn't have a clear idea of the measurement of success.

As I watched Geo pour a small bottle of sand into a vase with Alex's help after the readings, two poems (one chosen by each of us) and a reading from the Book of Ruth, it had never been clearer to me and everyone else that all my son really ever needed was two parents who loved him and put him first, instead of using him as a pawn.

Larry and I had both used him to get into our parents' good graces. I had used sex with Larry to prove that I liked guys because I did, I just liked girls more. I let guys who took a liking to me do whatever they wanted because I was so afraid that if I didn't then people would figure out what I did in locker and hotel rooms after meets. Well, and because I wanted to, most of the time. I never was with a guy I didn't honestly like but I had used sex as a means of power and control, as a means to prove that I liked boys. That I wasn't gay because while I knew I wasn't, nobody believed me.

Moving to the City where there were millions of people, none of whom knew what people said about me in school, had been a chance to put my experimentation with girls behind me. I met Larry and he told me I wasn't like most girls but he liked that and told me how good I was in bed. And he was kind and gentle. He cared about what I wanted and he liked to cuddle after sex. But neither of us were being our true, authentic selves in that relationship. He did those things to gain my trust. Because he knew the words to say to get what he wanted and that was sex with a girl everybody knew was about as far out of his league as possible.

We were both chasing an illusion of our respective creation together until that illusion came crashing down when I got pregnant, a possibility neither of us had fully considered or really discussed. But now, that little boy was standing next to his true other parent in a tux with a light pink vest, a mix of our black and pink dresses, and smiling as he handed his Momma a pearl ring to slip onto my finger after the vows.

He didn't even know it but he was the reason this moment was possible. The reason I asked more from myself and no longer accepted the life others had laid out for me. I had forged my own path and in the process found a source of love and healing in the most unimaginable place, from a world-famous sex therapist who exuded wealth, confidence and self-assurance. A woman whose outer beauty was only matched by that of her heart. I had everything twelve-year-old Piper thought was impossible and carried through the next twelve until even she could no longer bear the weight of her lies and fears. As I kissed Alex, I tried to put every bit of joy and gratitude I felt towards her into the caress.

When she kissed me back, I felt her thanking me for helping her get past her own lies and fears, for showing her the value of letting people in and that having all the money in the world and a nice house in a fancy neighborhood meant nothing if you had no one to share it with. That dining alone on coq au vin and expensive red wine, finding a girl or two willing to fuck once and lie to her that you're going to text her then returning home to your blankets, tea and a novel every Friday night was no way to live. Now, Friday was movie night with pizza in our home theater with our kids and if nobody was tired when the credits rolled, a hundred-piece puzzle.

Alex's old life was a way to get your basic human needs met and entertain yourself after a long day of being one of the few women daring enough to run the world but it got lonely. Now her life revolved around baby laughs, making it home in time for dinner, weekend family breakfasts and the constant presence of the person she loved and adored above all others. She had given me a lot and sometimes I was convinced that I took more than I gave, however, at that moment, I knew that I had given her so much. Two years later, our lives were fuller and crazier than ever and we had happiness and acceptance beyond our wildest dreams.

That one moment of daring to color outside the lines of a life that had been made for us, knowing full well the dangers on both our ends, had changed us forever. As we held our daughters and walked up the aisle with our son galloping in front of us after our wedding ceremony I knew that moment would last a lifetime.

After taking our wedding pictures, we stole a moment just the two of us before walking into the tent where our reception was being held. Diane and Red volunteered to take our daughters off our hands the second they saw them and our son's need to find the dessert table as quickly as possible took over the second we got near food. I was already dreading adolescence, my baby boy was already beginning to eat like a full-grown man. Alex pulled me into her arms and looked deeply into my arms as we stood outside the tent.

"I love you, Pipes, even if you are an annoying little stinky butt."

"And I love you, Al, even if you are a soft Marshmallowy giant, smooshy."

"Only for you, babe," Alex bellowed in that seductive tone that no woman could resist. I knew by the way she said "babe" that for everything that had changed about her the illusion of absolute power and control encoded in that little word from her full lips never would.

"Sure, Al, keep telling yourself that," I fired back with a smile that only looked sweet and innocent but I knew she grasped the meaning of like nobody else could as my eyes filled with a combination of youthfulness and lust that was my odd, unique superpower.

"Let's go dance, somebody needs a reminder who is in charge here," Alex teased as she tried to come back from my challenge and maintain some grip on her public persona of the powerful, sexually dominant, lone wolf Dr. Alex Vause who was smarter, sexier and more successful than most people would ever be and knew it. She had every reason in the world to be confident but at her center she was the softest, sweetest woman I had ever touched.

"Yes, the one with her head on her wife's breast while said wife leads her around the floor. Cause that will really prove you aren't a literal and figurative big softie, you soft, sexy Sasquatch," I teased with my eyes locked on hers despite her piercing glare and crossed arms as she pushed me from her arms indignantly.

"Who's saying I'm trying to disprove that," she responded after she ultimately lost our staring contest yet again and pulled me back into her arms like she had missed me terribly for every fraction of the fifteen seconds I was out of her arms.

"Nobody anymore I guess, Al," I whispered as our lips met one last time before we headed into our reception and walked hand in hand into the rest of our lives.


	70. Epilogue

_Three Months Later_

We had made it through our first holiday season in our new home with our three kids. The girls were into everything they shouldn't be and Geo had made friends with another kid who had two moms at his new karate class. Turns out we had been living three block down and around the corner the whole time and never met. We loved our new town even when it didn't always love us back. Sometimes we missed the hustle and bustle of The City and being able to have five different kinds of ethnic cuisine in one meal but we couldn't imagine raising our rambunctious brood anywhere else. A few weeks earlier I had started NYU, a change Geo found baffling. He had easily accepted moving in with some strange woman he barely knew, seeing his mother snuggling with said woman and doing more than kiss her under a blanket on the couch when we forgot we had a toddler. He eventually chose to call her mom. After months of bedtime routines, taxi driving and tummy aches he one day said, "Momma," it was just a normal night, no big occasion but also no question. He accepted when I told her Alex had asked me to marry her, actually he said "I knewed but Momma took me to Gay I'ceem so I wouldn't tell." My wife did love bribery and she had the charisma and confidence necessary to pull it off.

We hosted Chapman family Thanksgiving and included Diane, Red, our friends who had nowhere to go and of course Nicky and Lorna who at our wedding reception publicly came out as a couple and as Nicky told us in too much graphic detail when we came back from our short honeymoon on a gay-friendly Caribbean cruise had finally had sex together for the first time after our reception. Christmas had been a smaller affair divided between Christmas Eve just the five of us, Christmas day in Connecticut followed by leaving first thing in the morning to spend the day after with Diane, it was crazy but I felt lucky that our kids got Christmas with both parents and Geo had a group of "aunties" more than willing to teach him everything and anything he wanted to know about Hanukkah. We had now been legally married for just under a year and were celebrating our first anniversary in a family courtroom in Manhattan with our son in a freshly pressed shirt, khakis and loafers looking like a Ralph Lauren model as we finally got our much awaited day in court.

"Momma, the guy in the black robe just walked in," Geo exclaimed with more exuberance than he should as the judge walked from his chambers and got into his seat behind the bench. But I was feeling it too so I didn't scold him. My attention was on Alex who looked like she was close to collapsing into a puddle of nervous tears. I took her hand in mine and whispered, "practice your breathing. You are a mother forever."

Alex kept looking ahead, not acknowledging my attempt to comfort her. I went to let go of her hand, thinking maybe she needed to be alone with her thoughts for a moment but she grabbed my wrist and crawled her fingers down to my palm and grabbed me harder than I had when I was giving birth to Sera. I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I kissed her cheek to let her know I was here and letting her take the lead. Whatever she wanted or needed I would give, as she had done for me so many times.

"So we are here in the matter of the second parent adoption of minor George Dillion Chapman filed by Dr. Alex Pearl Chapman Vause and I also see a linked case for a name change filed by his biological mother, Piper Elizabeth Chapman Vause. I will be ruling on both matters this morning. Dr. Vause, Mrs. Vause I see your legal representation is next to you?"

"Yes," Alex answered before our lawyer, a middle aged lesbian with graying blonde hair in a power suit, introduced herself to the court before the judge delivered his ruling.

"As you know, I did have my reservations, as did the County about approving the adoption of the minor child G. C. given your past history and arrest record from your younger years but the woman I see before me has learned from that past and worked to become a highly successful member of society. I do not feel that Dr. Vause's specialization or sexuality disqualifies her from being an excellent mother to the minor child in question. She has provided both this child and his biological mother with much needed emotional and financial stability over the past two years and I believe has already shown herself to be a true mother to the child. Her character witnesses are excellent, she is gainfully employed and an owner of two businesses that work to provide the members of the communities she most identifies with a great life and I have overwhelming evidence that she has formed a mother-son bond with the child in question and to do anything other than approve this adoption would be detrimental to the child's best interests, So I am signing off on the adoption petition. I just have one question for Mrs. Vause before I do so."

"Yes, sir," I said nervously as Alex gently rubbed the pad of my fingers in an attempt to comfort me and ensure my continued awareness of her presence, as I had done for her moments earlier.

"I am seeing here that you were the initiating party to a child custody case in King County for the same minor in question in this case—"

"Yes, but—"

"Mrs. Vause, you need to not interrupt so we can get a clear record. You will get your chance to respond, don't worry."

"Sorry, I'm just nervous," I replied meekly.

"And I'm on your side, Mrs. Vause. I just need to review your prior case and ensure that you fully understand what you are agreeing to in allowing this adoption to go forward and be signed off by the court."

"Okay."

"You successfully petitioned for full sole custody of minor G. C. against his biological father, a Mr. Larry Bloom, who has been unable to be located pursuant to both the previous case and this current one, thus giving the court no choice but to award in your favor. I need to make sure that you understand that it is harder to overturn a legal adoption and revoke the parental rights and responsibilities that are bestowed upon the adoptive parent as a result of said decree. By agreeing to this adoption, you are agreeing to parent this child with Dr. Vause not just until the child turns eighteen or otherwise becomes fully independent but for the rest of your lives. Is it your intention to raise this child with Dr. Vause, no matter what happens between the two of you?"

"Yes, sir. I am aware that by adopting my son Alex becomes an equal mother to me with the same rights and responsibilities as I have to care for his needs. I fully intend on raising my son with her and believe she is his true second parent and deserves to have this legally recognized. I know that I have revoked custody and parental rights regarding my son in the past but I did it because I knew it was the best thing for him and that the way his father used him was not only unfair but harmful to the point of abusive to both my son and myself. Alex has worked hard to give us both a better life and she is the only person I want to raise my son with and I feel the best person to fulfill his need for a second parent."

"Alright. Dr. Vause, any last statements you would like to make before the Court?"

"No, sir. Just to thank you for the opportunity to prove my worth as a mother despite my checkered past and sexuality. I love our son, he has changed my whole world and given me purpose where I once had none. I will always love him equally to any child intentionally born into my marriage with his biological mother and I will always have love and gratitude towards Piper for bringing him into the world and all she did for him over the first nearly two years of his life. I could never repay her for all that she has done. I will always hold her in the highest esteem possible for sharing him with me and giving me the chance to be his other mother. I am fully aware that the relationship with her son is separate from the relationship I have with his mother and I don't want to speak for my wife but I can confidently say she feels the same. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to officially call myself his mother," Alex declares as she sat back down and my hand squeezed the pressure point on her inner thigh without waking its neighbor at an inappropriate moment that would only end up causing us both pain.

"I find the love between the two of you inspiring. As is the love of the little boy that you both love as only a mother can. The three of you are now a family in every sense of the word, congratulations Dr. Vause, you officially have a son. And I am granting the name change petition to make the child's name after adoption George Axel Liam Chapman Vause," the judge declared as he signed a piece of paper on the desk while we stood before him with Geo in between motioning to be picked up. The moments where he reminded us he was still a baby were fewer and more far between with each passing week, so when they came we savored and gave into them. Alex grabbed Geo in her arms and held him tightly as she simultaneously squealed, laughed and cried while he told her, "Don't cry, Momma."

"Momma is just so happy, buddy. I love you so much, you will always be my first child and my little boy."

"I love you, too. You always be my Momma Alex. Cause love makes a family. I love you and Mommy, you and Mommy love each other, you and Mommy love me."

"What about your sisters?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. I love them too, except when they ruin my creations and scream."

"Yeah, I know siblings can get annoying but you are such a great big brother."

"I hope next time I get a baby brother," he declared out of nowhere but like he had been internally debating the subject for months.

"What do you have against girls," Alex asked playfully.

"There's too many of them in my family, even the dog is a girl, Momma," he argued with childish annoyance and attitude.

"That's still a couple of years off yet, anyway. And there are some pluses to being the only boy," Alex asserted without giving more information.

"You want another girl baby don't you, Momma?"

"I don't care where my babies come from or what they are, just that they are happy and loved."

"You make me happy, Momma," Geo told Alex as a social worker came up to him with two teddy bears and let him choose one, after he chose a light brown bear he held it between his chest and Alex's as my wife told him in a hushed tone, "Now, you'll remember today forever."

"In school we had to write about our rememberies and my first was meeting you at the pizza place and you letting me play with your purse and when we played dinosaurs and you taught me how to win at the arcade," Geo uttered proudly with all the wisdom of a child. It seemed like just yesterday he was nearly two and now in a few weeks he would be four and already wiser than either of his mothers.

"That's one of my favorite memories, too, baby. Just behind the moment I first saw your mother smile at me. Speaking of pizza, you want to go get some and then we can go anywhere in the City that you want," Alex told him in between tiny kisses to his curls.

"Extra cheese and pepparoni and no vegetables," He asked in his best toddler attempt at mealtime negotiations.

"Of course, but we have to get tomato sauce," Alex declared like the protective, loving mother she was with a smile that sent the message that 'Momma doesn't think vegetables belong on pizza either and isn't a big fan of them in general either.' I however, didn't think meat belonged on real pizza and Lorna agreed with me, as I liked to remind Alex every time we had that argument.

"Tomato sauce isn't a vegable!"

"Uh, yeah it is."

"Tomato is a fruit, Momma!"

"True, smarty pants. How about tree fries," she asked, referring to our name for fried Zucchini sticks, the only vegetable we could barely convince Geo to eat lately, provided there was a never ending container of "pizza ranch" as he called it.

"Always!"

"Ready to go babe," she asked as she shifted Geo onto her hip, smiled at me and took my hand in hers.

"Yeah," I answered and we headed out of the courtroom and into the chilly February morning as we blended in with all the other loving families enjoying a sunny yet cold winter day in New York. I kissed Alex as she grasped our son in one arm while the other wrapped around my lower back.

I watched as the two of them chatted about things that were only meaningful to toddlers as people rushed by in suits. Two young executives on their way to a lunch meeting paused their prepping session to exclaim to one another, "look at those two. She seems like such a loving mother." "I don't know if she's the mother, the kid looks like the blonde." "Uh, bro, I think they're both the mother." "Lesbians? No way. Look at them, they're wearing dresses and heels and the brunette has on too much makeup to be, you know, like that." "Yes, way. Femmes are a thing and why wouldn't they be into each other sometimes? I mean we both know there's something 'bout a woman in heels and red lipstick." "Okay, maybe they're a couple but the kid? But how?" "Does it matter? They both seem happy, especially the hot one, and the kid is obviously well cared for. Nothing else matters. I can only hope I have a son as beautiful and happy as theirs one day and that my wife is as radiant when he's in her arms as the hot brunette is."

Any lingering doubts that I had anything to worry about melted away in that moment and was replaced by a sense of inner peace and healing energy flowing between us. Where once Alex and I had been in desperate need of healing, we were now one, united by our love for each other and our kids. We had found everything that had once been lacking in each other. We had once been paralyzed by fears of a judgmental world but now I could see love really could conquer all. I ran my finger along Alex jawline until she turned her head then pulled her into a kiss as our toddler exclaimed, "ew, yucky mommies," between giggles just to melt away any doubt that I was in love with a proud, unbelievably hot lesbian and the kid in her arms was the son I had given her. We were a family. We were each other's source of healing, love and light in a dark, depressing world. We were everything we never thought we could have but dared to dream anyway. And the rest of our lives as mothers was before us. I couldn't wait for the next adventure the three of us would share.


	71. Bonus Chapter: Graceland Prologue

**A/N: Here's a treat for all of you who followed me on this ride and encouraged me to keep going...it's still rough, there's probably mistakes and it's subject to change but here's what I've been working on for the sequel to Sexual Healing, Graceland. It'll be from Alex's 1st person POV about her journey to motherhood. Hope you guys like this little teaser...I have the outline done& don't worry the twists will be explained in the fic. **

Prologue

I had called him out of the blue a year after Silvia left for the last time. Silvia was this woman a couple of years older than me who I had met when I was a fresh-faced resident new to Manhattan. We spent somewhere between seven and eight years dating off and on, the years had sort of blurred together after a while as had our loose definition of dating and frequent infidelity, and the past eighteen months living together. We both had major daddy issues and nasty drug habits. She was a dealer and I liked being able to get drugs not just discreetly but free. Not that I couldn't pay, it was just why pay when I didn't have to. We were an explosive pair that never should have happened. Two broken people who needed someone to make us whole but oblivious to the fact that the other one wasn't it. I never called her pretty and she always called me trash but she was always willing and good in bed so I clung to every bit of good in her as I reminded myself this was the best I was going to get so I might as well make the best of it. Inevitably, though she'd go off for sometimes months at a time and I'd find something more aesthetically pleasing and commence the chase which only led to the next. I knew it was an addiction. I was a sex therapist and I know what I would have done if one of my clients confessed doing the things I had been since the ripe old age of eleven. But like the cardiologist who dies of a heart attack or oncologist who dies of metastatic cancer, I was the last to recognize my own diagnosis. Everything about my life was in disarray and the ship was sinking with her captain the last on board while she denied the iceberg's existence. The remnants of a wasted life and riches beyond my wildest childhood daydreams were all I had. But everything was fine. It was normal to be unable to count your number of past sexual partners or remember their names because it wasn't like I knew most of them anyway. I was providing a crucial public service. Showing young women that it was okay to desire pleasure without obligation.

Silvia's last words to me when she left me for good rang in my head as I listened to the phone ringing and wondered whether I wanted my old friend to pick up or give me the out that was voicemail, "bitch, you know you're gonna call me when nobody wants your worn-out old nasty whore snatch. Those girls don't even know where that useless bit of flesh has been. They oughta know but you are too chicken shit to tell them. Maybe I'll do it for you. Reveal to the world how the great Dr. Alex Vause amassed her millions. Taking her clothes off and doing barely legal underground porn. Letting dudes fuck her for money and calling herself a gold-star lesbian. Continuing to fuck them for money cause you discovered you liked fucking dudes. Definition of a lesbian, a woman who only enjoys fucking other women. We both know that fucking isn't you. You are not a lesbian, you can call yourself whatever the fuck you want but that don't make it true! Just cause you claim you only connect romantically with women. Then fucking show me, you whore. I have yet to see any evidence that you've ever connected with anyone romantically. Or that you are even capable of such an act. Yeah, you're knowledgeable on a theoretical level but that's it. You aren't a real dyke, Vause. Face it, that's why the actual real full lesbians don't want to sleep with you. Why the only chicks that want to spend a ride at your carnival of horrors are the straight ones who want an experiment before going back to their regularly scheduled lives. That's all you are good for and all you will ever know. But at least there's a never-ending supply of newly emerged 18-22 year-old girls looking to say I kissed a girl and I liked it. Good news, Vause, that supply is ever-increasing."

I had seen him again at a conference a few months earlier and he had told me about the clinic he was opening up while I talked about the one Nicky and I had decided to create after one too many beers. It was a wild idea but I had a feeling that if we could get it off the ground it would be great. That it was the sort of practice that might someday save somebody's life. If nothing else, it would give meaning to me and Nicky's aimless, chronically underperforming lives. Cause she still loved me. She still wanted me. She still would do anything to run her fingers through my folds. I wanted to love her in that way. On the right day, I'd even be happy if I could love Silvia that way. I didn't know why I couldn't. I could never do any better than either one of them or find someone else willing to put up with my assholey bullshit and workaholic tendencies. I loved my work and found it fulfilling, helping struggling moms and raising awareness about queer women, BDSM and the language of sexual behavior, but I couldn't take it with me. I was almost thirty-four. I had a cool job, owned a penthouse and a beach house, bought my mom her dream house and had a few interesting toys. But when I died it would die with me. Six months earlier Silvia had agreed to try artificial insemination. On the third round I got pregnant but it was ectopic. I blamed myself. The writing should have been on the wall when Nicky was the one reassuring me that it wasn't my fault. That just because I had been a very sexually free person for the past twenty plus years of my life and had been treated for multiple STIs over the years didn't mean this tragedy was my fault. It just happened. I should have left her then but as shared trauma often does, it pulled us closer together for awhile. We gave up on the whole kid thing and going to the RE to figure out if there was an underlying reason my baby implanted in my fallopian tube instead of growing in my uterus. Instead, we focused on each other. We were better then ever. But as always, we were better until we weren't. Until I got tired of her illegal activities. I didn't see a future where I could have my career and her and I loved my career.

About a month after Silvia left that nagging feeling returned late one sleepless night. It crept into my bones and consumed me more than it had the first time. The first time, I wanted a child because I thought it might get both of us to settle down and lead the more rooted life I wanted as I got older. I thought it could save my relationship. We really are no different from straight people. We create humans to save relationships too. But a relationship centered around a shared child and nothing else will always be on shaky ground. Now I felt this deep, indescribable need like this part of me was longing to be released from my soul. I tried to stuff it down, after all, the universe had already proven I was not meant to be a mother. Help them sure, but be one, not so much.

After the spring semester ended, I caught a nonstop cross-country red eye from JFK to LAX where I spent two weeks getting centered at a cottage nestled in the hills of Laguna Beach. I had time to think and write. I could be amongst people or just spend all day on my balcony overlooking the beach with coffee and Bailey's in the morning and wine or a nice port at night. The cottage had a wine fridge that its owner had told me to help myself to and so I did. Those whole two weeks I was celibate. It was the longest I had gone without sex since I was ten. When I boarded the plane, I thought this self-imposed initial foray into addiction treatment would be torture but it wasn't. I learned how to exist in my own skin. I even started meditating which I had learned about from my psychology classes and laughed off. It wasn't real medicine. It was worse than snake oil but it forged the connectedness I was seeking. By the time I headed back to LA, I had never felt more whole. I was ready to forge a new path and bring a whole being into this world not from a place of incompleteness but of wholeness and deep self love. I was both scared and ready all at once. The idea of pregnancy petrified me. Of doing the most selfless act I could imagine, giving my body and being willing to give my life for another person. I had heard of loving someone enough to sacrifice anything for them and how in that moment it didn't feel like a sacrifice. I had never felt it before until I was driving along the coast in a flashy black convertible, Italian with matching leather interior of course, and watching the morning sun slowly break through the overcast sky. I had to break to be reborn. But it wasn't breaking apart as I had first thought but breaking through a fog of my own making.

Now here I was, facing an old classmate from UCSF at a trendy Beverly Hills café while we picked at heaps of pasta and salad while sipping European red wine and making small talk.

"So, Vause, as much as I love seeing your face, why did you want to see me after all these years?"

I took a deep breath and said the words that I knew would change the trajectory of my miserable life but back then I couldn't imagine just how, "I want you to get me pregnant."

He dropped his fork and it made a loud clang against the white ceramic plate then chuckled as if he were waiting for me to say I was kidding. He had known me long enough to know I never kidded about anything. I was always serious and once I decided something it was final and I chased it with relentless determination no matter the cost to my body or wallet.

"I'm flattered, Vause. You know I've always had a crush on you but we're batting for opposing teams and neither of us like sleeping with people who can't fully enjoy the experience. And I'm not into the things you like doing in bed with dudes. As I'm sure you know, you can't get pregnant through a dick."

"Thank God for that. I didn't mean I want _you_ to get me pregnant, I just want you to facilitate the process."

"I dunno, Vause. Still sounds like you want me to pull you into the bathroom and cum inside you. But only if you promise to at least fake an orgasm."

"I'm a pro at that," I didn't need to say that I had faked more orgasms than had ever actually had. The years of doing porn and fucking women I barely felt lust towards had made me an excellent poker player.

"But yeah, I know if you were gonna choose a baby daddy it probably wouldn't be me and you wouldn't have flown across the country to meet an old colleague who just happens to own a concierge fertility center catering to a discreet, uber wealthy clientele. You know I don't take or bill insurance. Cash only."

"That's why I chose you instead of doing this in New York or Cambridge. I'm this internationally renowned lesbian sexpert, people would have opinions I don't want to hear if they knew I wanted to be a mother. I made a career on talking about BDSM and compassionate care for sex injuries/sex workers in trauma medicine when nobody else was. The two don't compute."

"I don't know, I've heard you called notorious lesbian lothario more times than the other thing. So why do you want to become a mother? Why biological instead of adoption? Other than when you are wealthy, single and queer its still easier to make your own kid than wait to be chosen or take on a medically fragile infant. Don't be offended, I pose these questions to all my patients before I agree to even test them or get a history. There's no right or wrong answer."

"Because I had the most amazing mother a child could ask for and I know that part of her exists within me. I'm tired of the partying and never-ending stream of women. I want something more fulfilling. I'm getting older and starting to really think about what I'm leaving behind. I want to determine my legacy while it's still in my power to do so. And as for why I want a biological child, I'm an only child of a single mother who was disowned for having me. I want to just once look at someone who looks just like me who didn't birth me."

Of course, back then I didn't know that our children birth us just as much as we birth them. I watched as he sat there listening attentively to me pouring out my whole heart to somebody for the first time. It felt good. There was something so cleansing about being so vulnerable. In that moment, I didn't care that people were passing on the sidewalk feet away. People who could hear me talk about my most private feelings and experiences. When I was done talking, he smiled and nodded.

"Why don't you come by the clinic at 7am tomorrow. Or would you prefer something later. I can also do 1:10. The clinic is closed for lunch but I sometimes see VIP clients who really don't want to be seen coming into a fertility clinic. It's an extra charge of course, but your records will be handled with the utmost discretion if you choose that track. You'll have access to our private entry and waiting room."

"I'll take the 1:10," I said without hesitation. Little did I know, that moment would lead me to this one where I placed the final touches on my memoir of my journey from sex addiction and the queer party lifestyle to marriage and motherhood because my editor sent me an email this morning that she couldn't extend the due date for my final draft another day. Memphis Jasper Chapman Vause, MJ for short, was six weeks old yesterday, according to her I no longer had any good excuse to leave my memoir unfinished. I could hear my beautiful wife, my precious princess Piper, humming to him from the great room while I worked in my beloved library and cooing to him, "Don't cry. Let Momma finish her work and stop treating me like chopped liver just cause she has what you want." Our daughters, Vivi and Sera, who Piper and I called "two-and-a-half" and called themselves "Amo Dwee." To which I would always laugh and look into their green eyes, "Sure, kid, when you can say it right I'll call you almost three. Momma pinkie promises," as I tousled red curls that made them look like something out of a production of Annie. This story is my journey of how I arrived at this moment. It is my hope that this story will convince women and maybe even the world that any woman with the desire to be a mother can and should be. That what makes a good mother is bigger than the historical and theoretical bases that have formed society's definition of motherhood and who is worthy of this distinction. This is my story. The words I have resisted writing for so long. I am Dr. Alex Pearl Chapman Vause. Recovered sex addict. Former cokehead and porn star. Harvard educated NYU Hospital Board Member, Psychiatrist and Professor. Business owner. Piper Elizabeth Chapman Vause's wife. But above all else, mother to four. Well, for the moment anyway. My wife and I still have nine frozen embryos, an unused bedroom and a table for eight. And none of my children have shown any interest in taking over my medical practice. We are momentarily satisfied as mothers, not complete and that's okay. Where you start as a mother, where you are and where you end up is not important. The journey is all that matters.


End file.
